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A very normal heroic adventure. Let's Play Lenna's Inception


Do you require aid.

Hey everyone!

Let's play Lenna's Inception!

Released by Bytten Studios, Lenna's Inception is a top-down adventurey sort of game EXTREMELY inspired by the Legend of Zelda games, particularly the Game Boy and GBA iterations like Link's Awakening. At first glance, I'd be tempted to call it a knock-off, but it has a lot of heart and character to it that makes it worth showing off, despite its flaws. It's also got some procedural generation to it, which isn't perfect, but it does lend to replayability. There's even daily seeds and challenge runs if that's your sort of thing.

Due to this, as well as some other things, I'm going to be doing two playthroughs of the game, both video, ideally with guest commentary. I intend to use two different seeds as well for world generation, the first one being FUNKERDOME. Oh, and one more thing: I'd like to issue a general photosensitivity warning for this game, ESPECIALLY if you don't turn off the generation visualization. Not a super serious one, but there are some flickery effects that could be bad, and better safe than sorry, y'know?


aturtledoesbite - BEAT - fanboymaster​
Lenna's school is having a bad time.

  • GAMEPLAY CUSTOMIZATION. You can choose between 8-bit and 32-bit graphics/sound for this game. I go for 32-bit because I like it more. We're also given the option to play different challenge runs, as well as the chance to use a specific world seed, using the name of the region the game takes place in. Charmville barely loses out to FUNKERDOME.
  • THE FIRST SCREEN IS AMAZING. The muted color scheme, off-beat music and the school/students having just a little bit of strangeness to their behaviour makes for a really strong first impression, as does the follow-up of Lenna falling out of her school, now a glitchy mess. That in and of itself would be a powerful and excellent opener for the game.
  • THE ELDER'S CAVE WRECKS IT. All of the subtlety of the school is gone, replaced with something right out of a Newgrounds parody animation. Having Lenna act as an NPC for the protagonist Lance is a nice touch, but the hamfisted "HAHA DO YOU GET IT" bloody scene just takes the wind out of the sails far too early.
  • LANCE IS THE HERO OF FORTITUDE. As an NPC, it is Lenna's responsibility to provide him with quests and aid so that he can defeat the archangels. The other villagers all over town talk about this as part of the framework for how both the world and society work, which I kinda like, but which a video LP format doesn't really have the time to go over in full.
  • RANDOMIZED ITEM APPEARANCES. Potions and tunics, which can carry the same sorts of properties, have different appearances in each seed, and they're sold at different vendors as well. Andres always sells one tunic and two potions for relatively cheap, and one tunic for not-so-cheap. Fortunately, our first tunic is a handy-dandy Fire Resistance Tunic.
  • A TRAGIC ACCIDENT. Alas, poor Lance, cut down before he could master using it. Lenna takes his sword, as well as his phone (can't exactly just leave it there) and the Power of Fortitude, one of the four powers that balance the land.
  • DUNGEON MESHI IS GOOD. Go look that up.
  • ARCHANGEL AZRAFLAIL. They're as first-boss as they come: spin the flail around, maybe throw it at the end, no biggie. The sword can cut the flail's rope easily enough, leaving Azraflail himself open to attack. By defeating them, the Power of Fortitude grants us the Archangel Heart, improving Lenna's life total!
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #0. Nothing fancy here, just backstory about Lance and his family of heroes. His dad Claymore and his mom Stiletto were both slain by the archangels, so he's gotta step up and be the Hero of Fortitude way before he's ready.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - BEAT - fanboymaster​
Lenna's gotta be the hero, I guess.

  • PHONE CALL FROM THE E̶LDER̛. Lenna inherits Lance's quest to vanquish the archangels and stop the chairman of the Bankers' Guild. Not that, y'know, she particularly cares about either of those, but they might be connected to the mishaps of the school, so.
  • MEET PAIGE. In addition to a healthy supply of puns, Paige entrusts us with tracking down some of her missing books, and keeps us appraised of where the next dungeon is. She also smoothly leaves her number with Lenna, in case you want to call her up.
  • TRADING QUEST. We need to find something the office worker can use to help organize all her stuff. I like trading quests in Zelds!
  • SUDDENLY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES TALK. I haven't ever played it, but it's kinda fun hearing about it out of context.
  • I FIND SOME BOOKS. I have posts here, so I can put the books in plaintext here. And so I will!
  • PIECE OF HEART. As a standalone joke, having the pieces of heart be literal cardiac tissue would be fine, I think. But given that the game's already proven ready to jump right into gore for no good reason, it's not really a great sign. Still, these work exactly like they do in any other Zeld.
  • SPECIAL ENEMIES. Enemies in the hidden caves around the land, as well as guarding the dungeon item, will always come with the benefit of one of the assorted potion types on deck. And since the potion types are randomized, you never know with 100% certainty what buff they're gonna be packing.
  • BOMS? They're ours, no rupees required. One of my favorite dungeon items in this game, so I'm glad we got them early. The blasts can hurt you, and they hit for two full hearts, so exercise caution!
  • ARCHANGEL TENTALUCHUS. This fight's considerably more involved than the previous one. Tentaluchus starts off by spitting ink bubbles, which you can destroy for more bombs. After that, he burrows underground, where you can unearth the tentacles with your bombs, then sever them with your sword. Feed him a bomb after that, and he'll start to bounce around the arena, then repeat the cycle. If you're a speedrunning sort, note that you can blast all the tentacles in one go if you time your bomb throw just right!
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #1. Here we see the origin of the archangels we've been fighting! Some mysterious progenitor-archangel entrusted the Corrupted Memories to all of them. Fascinating!


Historia Funkerdome:
Elder Jesse said:
Much that was once known is now lost, as our historians forgot to write most of it down. After a calamity ended the previous age, the architects created an avatar of the world in four parts - Compassion, Fortitude, Wealth, and Truth. With this, they forged from dead stone and lifeless seas the land of Funkerdome. After their work was done, they handed the four powers down to the people of the land. Compassion was to be given to the royals, so that they should always treat their subjects with kindness. Truth was given to the scholars, so that they could retain the secrets of the world. Wealth was given to the financiers, so that economic gain would advance the societies of Funkerdome.

Finally, Fortitude was handed to the common folk, so that if any of the other three powers grew too great, they would have the means to stop it.

The Power of Wealth soon corrupted the financiers, turning them from men to monsters. From this heartlessness rose Chairman Mammon, an incorrigible creature of pure greed. As wealth disparity brought the world to ruin, a hero boy used the Power of Fortitude to fight back. Using magics provided by the scholars, the boy was able to traverse time itself and undo much of Chairman Mammon's destruction, as well as defeating him in a climactic battle.

The Power of Wealth immortalised the Chairman's soul, ensuring that his malevolent spirit will always rise to sow discord whenever the common people should become too complacent. The Funkerdome Royal Family consequently decreed that every generation a commoner would be appointed as the new hero boy, so that there will always be someone ready to rise up against Mammon.

Meanwhile, the use of time travel created a branching timeline, causing no shortage of headaches among the royal historians. It was decreed that to keep the history of Funkerdome straightforward and easy to understand, all time travel would be banned forevermore.

Penny Chase said:
Prince Daniel III
The Palace
East Funkerdome


Your Majesty:

As mentioned to you in my previous letter, I write to you representing the Guards' Union. The Union's members have been severely underpaid in your service. The Union has demanded payment of the last five months' salary, due by the 10th. To date, our members have received no such payment.

Several letters requesting payment have already been sent your way. This is your final notice.

If our members do not receive payment by the 10th, our members will regrettably be forced to walk out of their posts at the palace, and seek new opportunities. The chairman of the Bankers' Guild has already provided many of our members with offers.

Best regards,
Penny Chase

Beasts of Funkerdome:
Prof. Bellua said:

#001 Bat
Although completely blind, this beast possesses a keen sense of hearing. Bat hearts are highly sought after for their healing properties.


#002 Slime
Do not be fooled by its Resting Blob Face-this creature wishes only to give you a good hug. Unfortunately, it secretes a painful acid.


#003 Marshmallow
  • Egg whites
  • Gelatin
  • Sugar


#004 Skeleton
Skeletons are everywhere; there is one inside of you right now. Once free of its fleshy prison, a skeleton will look for ways to free its brethren. Some directly attack humans, while others turn to the finance industry.


#010 Whirligig
When an adventurer dies during a spin attack and does not become a skeleton, there is a small chance for a Whirligig to form.


#011 Crab Knight
When Queen Josephine knighted Sir Crabbe, she hadn't counted on an actual family of crabs overhearing. Now their descendants take it upon themselves to scour the shores of Funkerdome for miscreants and wrongdoing.


#013 Smileder
Every Smileder is secretly grinning at the joke it heard once, "Smileder? I barely know 'er!"

Dentists hate them.


#014 Sharktula
Unlike their Smileder cousins, Sharktulas have no sense of humor. Their idea of fun is drowning swimmers and eating babies.


#015 Snail
A sour, bourgeois slime that owns its own home, and poisons the trail for those that follow.


#016 Bombshell
If you approach it at the wrong moment, this boomer is prone to explode in misguided outrage.


#017 Dolphin
After the extinction of cattle, western society relied on dolphins for mass milk production. They have still not forgiven us for this.


#018 Pyromeleon
By turning transparent, it can focus light rays like a lens to ignite fire. It can often be found committing arson in dungeons.


#019 Pumpkin
If grown in slime-fertilized soil, carved, and sprinkled with blood, a pumpkin will develop a mind of its own. Pumpkins make life-long, loyal friends.

The 'Flawless' City:
C. Cooley said:
I arrived into the city late on a Thursday afternoon. The weather was auspicious, as was the mayor's greeting. It seems that the news of an approaching travel critic had outraced me.

I suppose I should not be surprised by this anymore. Funkerdome, being a small nation, possesses precisely two locations worth noting, and therefore supports just one celebrity travel critic.

With all the praise G͏̡͏l̨įt҉c̸̨h҉ City has been receiving, I had steeled myself for a disappointment in preparation. But what I found was still somewhat impressive. Many who know me would consider that high praise.

The city is large compared with the other active settlement in Funkerdome, but not as large as the city implied by the ancient texts in the ruins.

Ģli̸͟t͝c̀h҉̧ City boasts TWO four-star hotels, a trio of average-quality restaurants and a reasonably-priced theatre in the north. The city appears to be built on top of one of the old ruins, which is the source of their electricity. Despite the cordon around it (due to some non-specific danger), citizens still regularly enter it under cover of darkness to gather valuable monster loot.

I stayed in the east-most "Bagu Hotel" (gratis). I would not call it a four-star hotel. It was at most mid-rank three-star accomodation. But regardless, staff were pleasant, if a little nervous about my stay.

Nightlife in G҉̧l̶̷í̀͘t͠c̛h̵̀ City is...

DRAM Error Rate Analysis:
S. Mancini said:
-Much of this document is unreadable. The text is heavily corrupted.-

...but previous works to quantify error rates in Dynamic Random Access Memory (DRAM) have shown wide variability, from one bit error per megabyte a month, to as little as one bit error per megabyte every one million years/

The cause of most errors is backgroun¢ ra¢iation, or cosmic ray inci¢ents that flip a single bit in memory. Two-bit errors forme¢ in this way are extremely rare...

The effect of a bit error depends on the system's function. Errors in systems 3ithout Error-Correcting Code (ECC) schemes can either crash or corrupt data. In certain situations this can open up vulnerabilities or threaten human life.

...observed that, in space, error rates have varied from 40 to as much as 200 times the base rate on Earth. On a 40-year voyage through space, without adequate shielding, you might expect to observe as many as 13 thousand single-bit errors per megabyte of memory!


Do you require aid.




aturtledoesbite - BEAT - fanboymaster
Lenna makes a bunch of new friends.

  • GLITCHES ARE JUST THE NEW ZOMBIES. What I mean by that is a lot of what BEAT was saying. They're a storytelling device that can be incredibly useful and very flavorful, BUT that very attractiveness has led to them sort of oversaturating media a lot, diminishing their impact.
  • SILVER SHIELD. I wish the shields in the GB Zelds had this functionality and I'm glad it exists now, but basically, the Silver Shield legit reflects all projectiles that the shield would block before. That's WAY more interesting than "oh you can block slightly bigger shots now".
  • STEALTH MINIGAME. Again, right out of the Oracle Zelds. Annoyingly, the camouflage potion/tunic does nothing to hide you from the invader, but the cardboard boxes on the ground apparently stretch to the ceiling and obscure all vision. It's not too hard once you know it, thankfully. Our reward is the Police Report, which does nothing.
  • GOURDON THE PUMPKIN. There's four companions you can have in the game, all of which can be dismissed or called back with the Pet Whistle. Henrietta is the one we start with, but she doesn't do anything. Gourdon, on the other hand, will fight alongside us!
  • YES I AM RECORDING. Yes I forgot to do that last time. Yes I have been doing this for years.
  • PAIGE JOINS US! Once you get 8 of the library books, you can have Paige travel as a companion! We immediately appoint Gourdon as interim librarian and bring Paige right into Kain Hidden Island. She is armed with throwing books and puns, and gains an extra heart with every book we find. Sadly, her damage is low, but still trips mercy invulnerability on enemies, so she's not strictly optimal.
  • GIANT CRAB! Watch this fight.
  • FISH LEATHER. It's the swimmy power. Ya swims with it. There's separate meters for faster swimming as well as diving, and you can still do those things while the meters are empty, but it'll damage you. No way to attack in the water, but the mobility and defense is solid, at least.
  • SPEED TUNIC. There's a lot of tunics you can use as permanent outfits for the bulk of the game, and the Speed Tunic is one of them. Lenna's default move speed is just a hair too slow for my tastes, so it's a favorite for sure.
  • ARCHANGEL SANDOLPHIN. So, when you're fighting a boss with a piece of gear that's largely defensive, the way to make that interesting isn't to worry about how to do sick combo moves on them, but to make the fight mechanics more about avoidance, like what Undertale did. Sandolphin's a pretty nice exemplar of that, if perhaps a little simple.


smIRC said:
Slimes have the simplest anatomy of any of the creatures described in this bo͏̴̨҉͝o̡̨k̛͢͠.͢҉͡ ́Ỳ͝o̧͠͠͡ù̕͢͟ ̨̛͘͝s̵̢͝͞ę̸͠͏̵e͜͞,̴̨͞ ͢͟͡҉s͏̀́l̷͟͜͠i̵̷̴͡͠m̵͟͏̕̕e͢͟s͏̢ ́͏̢͟e͏͘̕̕x̨́́i̷͏s̶̢t̷̢́͢ ̷̨͘͠͞á͢s̴̢̢̛͘ ̡̢m̴͟͞a̸̡c̴̨̨̕r̵̡͜͝o̸̴̕s̵͟҉̴̧c̵̡̛҉ǫ̴̀́͟p҉̴̸͘͢í͏ć͞ ͡͏̢ş̡̛͝i̕͝҉̨́n̸̵ǵ̢͟l͏̧ȩ̀͟͠-͘͘͡c̵̷̀͝e̷̛͢͢͞l̢͏l̵̵҉́e̡͢d̢̀
09:32 Tim: where's jon
09:33 Mary: Hospital. Skullbeak spat at him on the way in this morning
09:33 Tim: christ. that **** stings
09:34 Tim: didn't he have his tape recorder?
09:35 Mary: Nope. He still hasn't upgraded :-/
09:35 Tim: somehow not surprised
09:38 Tim: can you go visit him
09:38 Mary: Sure!
13:21 Tim: 3 months until release!
14:32 Jon: yay :)
14:33 Jon: wait, we have a release date for legend of lance now?
14:33 Tim: yup, not announced tho :D
14:34 Tim: how's that burn? you're gonna have a scar there forever now
14:41 Jon: nah! i know a guy who can edit it out
1̛͞9̢͘͟͜:҉̵̢̀͞4̕҉͟͠9̶̸͘ ̷̀͢S̷̛̀̕͜o̵͝ ̀͢͡y͘҉҉́͜ò͠ư͢͞ ̸̢́̀͞s̸̕͢e̛̛e҉,̴̨ slimes are interesting after all! In the next chapter, we'll

Clay Series vol. 7:
J. K. Rollinginit said:
Ten years in the making, the seventh and final book of the critically acclaimed Clay Series brings the story of our beloved clay-worker to a tragic and watery end.

All of Clayton's hard work and persistence in the previous book finally pays off! But is success really worth the trouble?

As Clayton's latest pot design takes off, people come to him from far and away, bringing money and demands. At first, Clayton manages to keep up with their requests. His small business grows rapidly to a globe-spanning empire. But when an earthquake destroys a critical warehouse, crippling the company, people keep coming. The pressure becomes too much for poor Clayton. He must escape!

On a remote desert island, Clayton finds a brief respite... Until the apache helicopters, jetpack bears, and invisible cruise liners arrive! Feeling cornered and under pressure, he walks out to the ocean, and to his doom.

In total silence at last, Clayton speaks his final words-the answer to the question nobody asked-"actually, the pots just magic the poop away." But it was hard to hear him well since he was drowning at that point.

"I hope you enjoy the tale of Harried Potter and the Deadly Shallows!" --J. K. Rollinginit, author, philanthropist, retroactivist.


Do you require aid.
Hey, just to be on the safe side: this update's got some of that mild photosensitivity warning sort of stuff in it, at around 7 minutes in up through the 10 minute mark or so.


aturtledoesbite - BEAT - fanboymaster​
Lenna takes the long way to the bank.

  • PIZZA TIME! You can order whichever pizza you like for 10 cents by calling the number, and it will arrive after 40 minutes of real-world time. Why? Why not, I ask?
  • NO HOLY WARS IN THE DISCORD. This is an important rule.
  • BRUCE THE BAT. The final companion you can have is a bat, who flies around and attacks enemies for you. Since Paige is the only companion who talks to us, we stick with her, of course.
  • MASTER OF NAVIGATION. Can't blame this one on the procedural generation, at least not entirely. This one is all me.
  • OCEAN TRAIN. Take me through the rain, far away from pain, wherever I deign.
  • THE DUNGEON IS NOT HERE. Instead, we find the Bankers' Guild. Lacking any better ideas, Lenna heads in to investigate and address the Chairman in person. But first:
  • GLITCHY CAVE. Cave's just having a real normal one. One of those mild photosensitivity warning sorts of ones.
  • STOCK MARKET MINIGAME. It's a slot machine, but with stocks. So... a slot machine, basically. There's a Steam achievement for doubling your investment in a single pull of the lever, and more than a few people dropping clues about what happens if you try to exceed the 999 cent withdrawal limit. We'll give that a shot later.
  • CHAIRMAN MAMMON. He drops us into the dungeon, which the Bankers' Guild built over, when we attempt to fight him.
  • THEN WE GET A LIGHTER. The lighter functions as something between the Zelda 1 Magic Wand and the Pegasus Boots, and ignites things that it touches. Despite it being a speed boost, I'm not a big fan of it due to how awkwardly it handles. You can also self-damage with it.
  • SECRET ITEM! In addition to the progression items you get from each dungeon, there are a few special items hidden throughout Funkerdome that do special things. The mines, for example, trade the ability to throw bombs in exchange for activating on proximity with enemies. They're good and all, but bombs are more direct and we run the risk of injuring Paige with mines.
  • THE PROCEDURAL GENERATION SHOWS ITS LIMITS. Procedural generation is at its best when it's spicing up what would otherwise be "filler" areas. You can add in unexpected things via the generation that make an otherwise-dull section of the game more interesting, or simply provide unexpected combinations of enemies or gear that wouldn't be something you'd see normally. It's not a dealbreaker for this game, and I know there's games that handle it worse (like Chasm) but the dungeons have already run out of ways to be interesting, specifically due to a lack of real setpieces that would fit in with a Zelda title.
  • ARCHANGEL SANTAQUIEL. As fun as this guy is thematically, the actual boss fight is a little annoying, due in particular to the inconsistency of the hit detection of the lighter. Is there supposed to be an opening in his rotation of moves? Does the snowflake shield do anything? It's really hard to tell, and the weird part is that it doesn't make the actual fight any harder.
  • THEN THINGS GET W̛E̛͏I̵R̡D͡.͘҉ Starting with the fourth boss (which, again, the order of bosses 2-7 is randomized with the world seed), bosses add a second, glitched phase to their attacks. Santaquiel, unfortunately, has one of the weakest iterations of this, especially if you do it right like I did and strike as soon as the phase begins. If you let Santaquiel build up momentum, though, ice scatters everywhere and you'll be bogged down by skeletons and just won't be able to do anything.
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #3. Crabaddon is the best character in the game.


??? said:
-Somebody has scribbled out a morse code message and written a shopping list on top.-
Archangel̵͡ ̡͠҉?̢́?̛?̴͞͡'s Xmas Shopping List
  • Binoculars
  • Fortune cookies?
  • Um... some finance thingy
  • A gold star for being good
  • Something inventive
  • Wood carving
  • Books I guess
  • A tied-up police person?

??? said:
2020-02-15 15:30:41
Welp, it won't be the Alpha Centaurians finding the 17th book. Last month the spacetime capsule stopped beaming signals home from the Oort cloud. No official word from NASA yet, but amateur astronomists are absolutely going nuts over it!

What they're saying is that signals from the capsule red-shifted away out of view, as if it crossed some kind of event horizon. So it didn't just crash into a rock! What's even weirder is that after it vanished, something much larger blue-shifted into the same spot.

There aren't any clear photos of it yet, but the people who have been studying it have been accused of stockpiling cassette tapes. I'm getting worried...

2020-03-07 16:16:21
The first blurry pictures are showing up on social media. There's a lot of disagreement about what it is. I think it looks like... No, that's insane.

I'm keeping my Skullbeak tape close. I know it won't help, but it makes me feel better.

2020-04-20 16:20:52
People are calling it the Object, but it's pretty clear now that it's a train... hurtling through space in a cloud of glass shards.

It's arriving at Earth on May 11th... but there's some uncertainty because its speed isn't constant-it's periodically changing speed and direction by jettisoning reflecting objects and wooden doors. Weirdly, the total mass of all the objects it has thrown out is more than the object itself could have carried. So just what are we dealing with? A new archangel?

2020-05-11 20:19:11
It IS a new archangel!

Grab your cassette player, it's time to transform!

101 Uses for Hearts
Rachel Erwin said:
Sweetheart Cupcakes


130ml vegetable oil
130g brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
2 large eggs
75g sultanas
150g diced hearts
grated zest from 1 orange
150g self-raising flour

  1. Heat over to 180C.
  2. Line an 8-hole muffin tray with paper cases.
  3. Pour the oil, sugar, eggs and vanilla into a large bowl.
  4. Mix together with a whisk.
  5. Add the diced heart, orange zest and sultanas.
  6. Stir in the cinnamon, flour and bicarbonate of soda.
  7. Pour the mixture into the cases - it should be quite runny.
  8. Heat in the oven for 18 minutes until firm.
  9. Allow the cakes to cool to room temperature.
  10. Top with whipped cream and serve!

For best results, adjust the recipe to match the type of heart you're using. Here are some suggestions:
  • Bat heart cupcakes go well with a small glass of sweet plum wine.
  • Bush hearts are quite sour on their own; omit the orange zest from your recipe.
  • Hearts from broken rocks are often very dry. Consider adding an extra egg at the beginning, and if the mixture is not runny enough to pour into the cases, mix in extra water.


Do you require aid.

Lenna meets the Elder's acolyte.

  • SHADOW TEMPLE. This imposing building in the middle of town is how you unlock the game's co-op mode. Just plug in another input and Shadow Lenna can join the team!
  • CLEANING UP WEST FUNKERDOME. Finding a few trading quest fellows, heart pieces, meteors, etc.
  • OH YEAH WE GOT SOMETHING FROM PRINCE DANIEL. The Power of Compassion allows us to show kindness to our enemies. Near as I can tell, this has no in-game effect, but it is an equippable item regardless.
  • BATTLE ON THE BIG BRIDGE. The Chairman isn't afraid to throw his financial weight around, quite literally. You can dodge and weave and deflect his coin attacks, and yes, those count as actual cents if you're interested, but he abruptly cuts his offensive short once you get close enough for him to recognize Lenna.
  • WE TRY TO PURSUE HIM, BUT... The Elder's acolyte, Delvin, interrupts us before we can make progress. His entire demeanor is really fishy, but he at least verifies that Lance's quest involves slaying the archangels in order to defeat the Chairman.
  • EAST FUNKERDOME! Right off the bat, we can see some new kinds of obstacles. Some of them, like the targets, make what we need to get past them obvious. The glitchy walls... that's less apparent.
  • PAIGE SIDEQUEST! Just take down 10 marshmallow enemies. It's a little annoying without the lighter, since they don't often spawn on East Funkerdome naturally.
  • I GOT A BOOK AND I'M LEAVING IT AT THAT. And by that I mean I'm still transcribing it in this post.
  • SWORD UPGRADE. As I keep mentioning, the Damascus Katana is broadly the better choice, since you can move while swinging it and it does plenty of damage, not to mention its powerful spin attack. I just can't say no to the heated Tungsten Sword, which burns enemies and can shoot lightning. No rule saying you can't get both, if you've got the meteors for it.
  • YEEEEAAAAH IT'S THE BOW. Nothing else of real merit happens in the dungeon. The bow shoots arrows, what do you expect? You can upgrade it at the blacksmith for much faster arrows, and it's nice for dealing with enemies like snails that can't be safely handled at range, but honestly, I prefer bombs.
  • ARCHANGEL CRABADDON. Hell yeah best archangel. Crabbadon handles almost exactly like a classical Gohma: struts to either side, occasionally dashing forward, and opens up first his claws, and then his mouth, to deliver more attacks. Interrupt with an arrow and you're done. This continues even with Crabaddon's glitched form, although the claws (now theatre masks) instead orbit around Crabaddon, and he no longer stops to attack, making the targeting a little trickier.
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #4. The Chairman is another piece of the mystery archangel's plan, it seems. Also note that that money appears specifically when the archangel injures themselves with the scythe.


Doctor Bones
Dr. Bones said:
Sometimes, in the dead of night
You fall asleep for the last time
Heart stops, and tissues decay
Skeletons move in the moonlight

Calcium are you
Calcium oh yeah
Calcium are you ahh

Now the dungeon is done
You had to go back home
Please come and spook me again
I've never felt so a-bone

Body, I ain't missing you
I'd rather have my spine
And my pelvic girdle too
Humans to slay!

I think about loot every day
I really want coins too
Death swept my feet right off the ground
Profit's love I found

Doctor Bones, Bones,
Calling Doctor Bones,
Doctor Bones, Doctor Bones,
Get up now
Wake up now
Doctor Bone, Bones,
Calling Doctor Bones,
Doctor Bones, Doctor Bones,
Wake up now
Wake up now

The World Rap
Dr. Bones said:
Yeah, yeah
All my skellies out there, it's time.
It's time, all my skellies out there.
Straight outta the dusty tombs of rap.

The price drops low, as does my profit.
I never sell, 'cause to sell is apposite.
Over the ocean, I found the World Wrap.
So listen up son, here comes the recap.

Hover potion, slow motion.
Forward motion, over ocean.
Law of motion: a false notion!
At the World Wrap, head back!

It isn't what you'd hope for; nothing like the folklore.
Puts you back at your front door.
Ain't nothin' worth an uproar.

The Lusty Archangel Maid
Paige said:
Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.

Cast of Characters:

a strong and stunningly beautiful librarian.

Archangel Martha: an eldritch horror with many tentacles.

Act I, Scene III

Setting: dungeon boss room.

At rise: Archangel Martha is sprawled across the floor, helpless. Libby, with a triumphant expression, sits astride Martha. In one hand, she holds down two of Martha's main tentacles. In her other hand, she grips a dagger, which is pointed at the archangel's chest.

Archangel Martha:
I have been defeated. Cut the heart from my breast and eat it, as per tradition.

I will not.

(Libby tucks the knife away, and releases Martha's tentacles.)

Archangel Martha:
Then my heart shall always belong to you, mistress. For one cannot have one's heart and eat it too.

Come with me, Martha.

Act II, Scene III

Setting: in the corner of Libby's library, between two towering bookcases.

At rise: Libby is showing Archangel Martha around the library.

Archangel Martha:
Now I have seen the entire library, so that I may serve you better.

Not quite, Martha. There's one more rack I still need to show you.

Archangel Martha:
But mistress... what if your patrons were to chance upon us?

Then it won't just be the books getting checked out today.

Bank With The Guild
Chairman Mammon said:
Peaceful citizens of Funkerdome, humans and bears alike!

You work hard for your gold coins, and deserve to know that they are safe. Now, you could put them in your family's prize clay pot, as is tradition. But do you know what your clay pot WON'T protect your money from?


Don't fall for their good press, folks! Adventurers WILL come to your town, seeking health potions, weapon shops and side-quests. They WILL come into your house and they WILL smash your pots, taking your precious savings with them.

Just because it hasn't happened yet, doesn't mean it won't! Luckily the Bankers' Guild is here to serve the interests of the people. For an affordable monthly fee, the Bankers' Guild will give your savings account Premium Adventurer's Insurance. Your money will be protected in an enormous magical jar, that has been proven by our R&D department to be impenetrable to swords, magic whips and EVEN power beams!

The Guards' Union has a notorious pro-adventurer bias and won't keep your earnings safe when the time comes. Be safe! Bank with the Guild!


Do you require aid.
So uh... from here on out, let's just say that photosensitivity warning is in persistent effect, eh? I learned that you CAN disable all of the flicker and the like, but... not until the very end of the Funkerdome run. Anyway.


Lenna becomes seized with a sudden case of completionism.

  • THE LEMON PAGES. Naturally, we call every single number in this book. For the record, they are not procedurally generated, so you can call any of the numbers listed in it from the beginning, if you'd like.
  • TOMBS & TENTACLES. You can play it online here if you want, although the language is a bit harsher than the in-game version. It is "beatable". I don't care to demonstrate, though.
  • THE WOODCUTTER'S AXE. In addition to destroying any trees (but leaving an impassable stump behind) the Woodcutter's Axe can open up hidden areas that can contain exceptionally rare items. The first hidden area we discover gets the woodcutter to give us the Error Log, which does not̀hing҉.
  • PAIGE'S DUBIOUS CELEBRATION. Just a sweet little cutscene, commemorated with Paige giving Lenna her Locket. It also does nothing, but it's the feeling that counts, you know?
  • I GO LOOKING FOR MORE SECRETS. Unfortunately, without certain items we lack, it's not especially reasonable to get anything from these hidden rooms. We really need, at the minimum, something to clear pits with.
  • AMULET OF STRENGTH. Level 6 doesn't give us anything to clear pits with, but we do, finally, gain the ability to lift heavy objects, including seashells, skulls, and empty cardboard boxes.
  • ARCHANGEL HEADRANIEL. I'd like to say there was more to the dungeon, but there wasn't. Headraniel is at least interesting to talk about, not least because his appearance changes drastically, and for the better, in 8-Bit. Beyond that, the fight here is more about quickly grabbing either the skulls he spits out, or the chunks of statuary he leaves when injured, and throwing them at him. Second glitchy phase is over pretty quickly and doesn't play too much with new mechanics, but it's a little more hazardous to avoid hits.
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #5. Looks like Lenna's not the only person having an extremely normal one here.


The Lemon Pages
Y. P. Lemmon said:
In an emergency, call 555-0911.

For operator assistance, call 555-0000.

Businesses & Orgs

Library 555-1223
Triominoes 555-4545
Palace 555-1218


Elder 555-2253
Jay 555-8893
Lance 555-1225
Maxwell 555-9132
Tom ???-????

Tombs & Tentacles
P. H. Craftlove said:
Tombs & Tentacles is an Eldritch horror game that you can play with your friends. It is directly inspired by the works of P. H. Craftlove.

The game requires one Tomb Master (TM), who controls the game world and the non-player characters (NPCs). The player characters are normally controlled by two or more players, but certain scenarios, if the TM is prepared, can be played by a single character on their own.

As is the fashion for Craftlove's horror stories, there are no happy endings. Be prepared to die (or worse) in many different ways!

For a free demonstration of Tombs & Tentacles, call 555-6666. Ernest will answer the call and act as the TM for you, while you decide what your player character will do.

A common criticism of the game is that its rules are very complex, sometimes requiring non-integer-sided dice. This is unavoidable due to the nature of the game.

Each of the four player characters in the demo have four stats. These are printed here for your convenience.

Jerry (Human/Waiter)
Might 1*
Speed 1*
Sanity 10
Intelligence 5

Sally (Human/Telemarketer)
Might 10
Speed 3
Sanity 5
Intelligence 10

James (Human/Janitor)
Might 10
Speed 1
Sanity 3
Intelligence 3

Tamsyn (Squid/Sportsball Player)
Might 5
Speed 10
Sanity 5
Intelligence 1

*Note that although Jerry's Might and Speed stats are the lowest in the game, he can augment these by stacking plates. This comes at the cost of some sanity. When played well, he is the most powerful character available.



Do you require aid.

Lenna experiments with clothing.

  • HAMMY'S HOUSE. Blasting it open gives us the hammer, which has almost all of the destructive power of a bomb in a convenient infinite-ammo swingable form. This comes especially handy in fighting the heavily-armored Crab Knights.
  • HALLUCINATORY BATTLE ARENA. Hallucination potions, ordinarily, instantly summon a frankly terrifying amount of monsters into virtually every open space in the room. The Hallucination Tunic, however, introduces more measured waves. The only thing we get for doing this is the Beta Cup, which does nothing, and the Hallucination Tunic itself.
  • SPRINGTIME. The Spring uses the same slot as our shield, and allows Lenna to jump on command, letting her clear water and pit tiles with ease. For this reason, the Spring's dungeon is, to my knowledge, always generated after the Fish-Leather Shorts dungeon. I feel like if the procedural generation was a little more fine-tuned, that wouldn't be a big issue, but it is what it is.
  • THAT'S REALLY ABOUT IT IN THE DUNGEON. Seriously, give us some puzzle rooms with the dungeon item. The combat on its own isn't enough to sustain a couple hundred rooms of the exact same thing!
  • ARCHANGEL CATSIEL. Heavily inspired by the Helmasaur King, Catsiel attacks by alternating with a tail whip and a slam, the latter of which launches the TV from its head, letting us hit the weak point. The glitched phase is a lot more involved, and requires you to maneuver around to hit the switch from different directions, matching the inputs on Catsiel's screen. Pretty solid boss, although the procgen means that you'll have a very rare chance to see Catsiel without a glitched phase.
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #6. Henrietta's origin story! And, I guess, an explanation for why the world is having such an extremely normal one.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - BEAT - Trynant​
Lenna wiggles between spatial folds in order to get loot faster.

  • LANCER RPG NONSENSE. I want to play it someday. In the meantime, I have this to chortle at.
  • SPRING SHOES! One of the first things you'll find in the Woodcutter's Axe areas is the Spring Shoes, assuming you find a way to cross the pits in your way. The Spring Shoes allow you to double jump, which is enough to clear a lot of the ledges in the overworld, apparently!
  • CHAIN. This upgrade to the Lasso makes it function much more like the Hookshot. It can be used for some of the puzzles you'd unlock the Spring Shoes with. I still don't care to use it.
  • ACCIDENTALLY WORLD WRAPPED AND SOFT LOCKED. Yes, you can world wrap in this game. It's usually a very unsafe idea on account of the ocean, which is unswimmable.
  • SECRET LABORATORY. As with level 4, level 8 has an existing installation on top of it. And wouldn't you know it, we get ourselves trapped down where Prof. Maxwell is! We solve some of the few non-procedural puzzles (which, as you note, require all of the items from previous dungeons to get through) and save him. But, as aturtledoesbite correctly points out, much of the puzzle is skippable, due to the pits around it. Hovering, or using speed with the Spring Shoes, can bypass a lot of it.
  • MORE ABOUT DELVIN. We already saw his disagreement with Prof. Maxwell, which I guess is why Delvin trapped him in the basement. Fortunately, Maxwell himself is happy to help out, and sends us into the 8th dungeon with the Quakemaker2000.
  • THE MOST NORMAL DUNGEON YET. Very clearly, we're getting something in this dungeon to deal with the glitchiness all around us, and even outside of those barriers, the entire place is a flickering mess.
  • YOU CAN PICK UP THE SNAILS WITH THE AMULET OF STRENGTH. This is a really good way to deal with them, but I haven't gotten the knack of it yet.
  • PHOENIX ASH. This item can be used to upgrade Henrietta. I'll show it off next run.
  • THE MISSINGLASSES. Very clearly inspired by the screenwarp glitch in Link's Awakening, the Missinglasses serve a few purposes. First, they work like a Lens of Truth, allowing Lenna to perceive and interact properly with glitched objects. Second and more importantly, while you have the Missinglasses on, any screen transitions you cross instead deposit you on the other side of the map. Properly used, this lets you use any room with an exit to reach effectively any room, including nonexistent ones, on the same map. The Missinglasses are cool as hell, and it's a shame (though an understandable one) that you get them so late.
  • SECRET BUOY. I, uh... don't know what it does. Let me know if you figure it out.
  • ARCHANGEL HATASIAH. Hatasiah is always last in the order, unsurprisingly given the requirement of the Missinglasses for the fight. Hatasiah's pattern is the most complex and involved one yet, with several phases you have to get through before she ever becomes vulnerable. Thankfully, the non-glitched form only takes two hits. The glitched form isn't especially dangerous in comparison, although you will need to keep the Missinglasses on hand to navigate the arena when it gets lasered, and keep the pressure on as much as possible so you don't get bogged down in the nearly-limitless spawns.
  • ALL ARCHANGELS DEFEATED. By recovering all of the Corrupted Memories, we claim the Power of Truth, which doesn't have an ingame effect, but is required to avoid the worst ending. Speaking of...
  • CORRUPTED MEMORY #7. We finally learn how everything started. How Lenna's school, and Lenna herself, got to their current states. What that mysterious specter outside of the Elder's Cave was, as well as how the Elder was killed. And, of course... what Lenna has really done.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - BEAT - Trynant​
Lenna tracks down the Chairman.

  • DO YOU ENJOY HURTING OTHER PEOPLE? Lenna used to be the mother of all of the archangels, the very same archangels that she has unknowingly slain and consumed the hearts of. She'll have to come to a reckoning with herself for that, but right now there's two other, more immediate problems: the Chairman's coup, and Delvin's meddling.
  • WELCOME TO G̴Ĺ̀͝ÌT͞͞C̢Ḩ̨͜ ̶́C̢͜Í͏T̷Y̨͡. Before this all went down, the name was just a goofy coincidence, not an actually descriptive moniker. But these days, well. It's riddled with corrupted tiles, full of high-tier monsters, and what NPCs exist move about quickly and erratically, and haven't got much that we can understand if we talk to them anyway.
  • STATUS EFFECT STORE. So, this place has a sidequest (or you can warp to the part of the map with the full store with the Missinglasses, either way). Long story short, since potions and tunics are functionally linked, this place offers a service where you can "dye" one of your existing tunics with a potion, replacing its old effect with an entirely new one. They also sell a few extra potions and tunics, so you can get some extras to work with if the seed hasn't been playing nice. Not saying it's cheap, but it's generally a better way to spend your money lategame than anything else.
  • WANDERING MERCHANT. There are four or so tiles in the game where the merchant can spawn, and you have to visit all of them for him to appear (that I know of). Once you do, he goes back to each of the four spots, until you hit the point where he forks over the Book of Changes, which tells your fortune and therefore does nothing. He also always sells a few key items, including runny blue potions (water) and a new bit of gear, dependent on the seed. In our case...
  • GLIDER. It's a bomb... that flies! Wooooooo! Apparently you can control it remotely? I've never experimented much with it.
  • TRACKING DOWN TRESSA. Pretty simple, provided you've already run into all the locations you need (i.e. the bank, which you need to enter before reaching East Funkerdome) and the strange cave. Our reward is Patent No. 950996, which does n͡oth̶i͏ng̵.
  • FINALLY DOING THE TRADING SEQUENCE. Water potion is traded for the red paperclip, which trades for the fishy pen, then the forged deed, then the briefcase, then the shirt, then the bear claw, and finally the Binoculars, which do something! Specifically, they let you preview what the screen ahead of you looks like! It's... not especially useful, but it can be nice if you're screenwrapping a lot and need to figure out if the area ahead is safe. And if you're a coward.
  • WITHDRAWAL LIMIT EXCEEDED. If you have any GILD stocks, you can ignore the withdrawal limit, otherwise the game tells you no. Regardless, on your first attempt, you get the Guild IOU. Guess what? It also does n̴ot͝h̨i͘n̵ǵ.
  • THE PALACE. And with that, we're finally at the palace, home to one of the game's rare instances of non-procedural dungeoning! It is entirely a navigation puzzle built around using the Missinglasses, complete with new warp tiles that throw you back to what could theoretically be called a "start". It is an absolute mess, but a mess with actual game design involved, so it comes across as much more enjoyable than the usual dungeons despite my messing up.
  • JUST THE PALACE. I am considerably slow about the entire debacle and take forever to figure out what should be one of the very first steps of navigating, so... that's pretty much the rest of the video as soon as we get in there.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - BEAT - Trynant​
Lenna starts over.

  • CHAIRMAN MAMMON, OR IS IT GAMMON? The Chairman makes a very strong first impression by leaning waaaay into the capitalist pig angle... and then ruins it by requiring five cycles of the same spammed-two-moves pattern, during which you can only hit him once at the end, maybe. Oh well.
  • DISDAIN UP. We also obtain the last of the four powers, namely the Power of Wealth. Unlike the two before it, the Power of Wealth DOES have an ingame effect, attracting all pickups to the bearer from a long range. Not that we can get much chance to play with it, seeing as we go right from that to...
  • ARCHANGEL DELVIN. Among the many other things 8Fridge did, it swapped the properties of Delvin (NPC) and Lenna (archangel), so now he gets to be the final boss instead of Lenna. And this fight is properly flashy for this last showdown. Not only are we free to dive in and strike at him at any time he's stopped, he's got a wide variety of attacks that can be approached in a multitude of ways. The fight has four phases, but they all follow largely the same mechanics and strategy. First phase is just the skull orbs and tendrils.
  • BIRD'S EYE VIEW OF FUNKERDOME. The second phase is nice and scenic, in a way that plays to the strengths of the procedural generation, I think. It's also got a smaller arena, and two more attacks that Delvin can do: a scythe throw, and a weird kind of spindash, I think? Either way, sound cues are your way of dealing with the second phase, since they are very subtly different.
  • UNDEFINED BACKGROUND IMAGE. The third phase goes to a much more open arena, where you have to pursue Delvin after each spindash through screenwraps, but his attacks are unchanged beyond that. Note that while Paige stays out of this fight, she can be injured here, although it doesn't do anything.
  • T҉̨͜H̢͡͡͞͞Ì͝Ş̷̛͟ ̢͘͜҉C̴̛A̵̵N͢͜͞ ̧̧̢̕͢Ǫ̷̨̧͝N̡͢L̸͟Y͘͟ ̨È̴͜͡N̶͘͘Ḑ̶̛̀ ̛͢O̷̕͝͞Ņ͘͞E̸͡ ̢̛Ẃ̧͏̧Ą̨́Ỳ͝҉͟͜,҉́͠ ͠͝L͡͡E͏̵̡͜Ǹ͞N̵̕A̶̢̧̕͞.̴̴͝ As with the other archangels, Delvin breaks down to a glitchy form near the end. In this form, he loses the scythe and skull attacks, but can now weaponize Lenna's HUD against her, which has the same fiery properties as the skull orbs, but instead homes in on her. What's more, the heart attack does scale to the number of archangel hearts Lenna has acquired! It doesn't matter a whole lot since you'll just jump over it, but its there.
  • LOLDEAD. We'll pretend it's intentional so you can see the different dialogue you get for entering the Delvin fight with any deaths on file.
  • BREAKING DOWN OTHER FAMOUS GAME GLITCHES. There's some fascinating stuff there, if you know where you look.
  • EVENTUALLY, WE ARE VICTORIOUS. Delvin is defeated and the Game Cartridge is obtained. At this stage, we can either decline to blow out the dust (which kills us and ends the game) or reset it. I opt to do the latter, which leads into the ending for Funkerdome. But we're not done yet.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna sets out to master the Power of Compassion.

  • YOU'VE HEARD OF FUNKERDOME, NOW GET READY FOR CHUNGUSBURG. Really is just a Love Day situation over here, huh.
  • THE SCHOOLHOUSE IS A CLUE. Every student's desk tells you exactly what you need to pacify them, which does change on a per-seed basis. So, for our seed...
    • Azraflail, also known as Asrabel, really likes "observing" people, and wants the Binoculars.
    • Headraniel, or Draniel for short, has a fascination with fortune-telling, so we can give him the Book of Changes.
    • Santaquiel, aka "Klaus", pays close attention to their finances. We can ease their worries with a Guild IOU.
    • Sandolphin, or Sandy to her friends, is a fairly competitive sort, so we can give her the Beta Cup.
    • Tentaluchus, who you may know as Luchas, has a creative and detail-oriented mindset that makes them a perfect fit for Patent No. 950996.
    • Catsiel, or Catherine if you're not into that brevity thing, has a bit of a talent for woodcarving, and the only wood we can get is the Error Log.
    • Crabaddon, which is a way cooler name than just Crabbe, is a bookworm at heart. Paige's heart belongs to Lenna, but she won't mind us showing off that Locket.
    • Hatasiah, or Hattie, needs to see us after class. Oh, and we can pacify her with a Police Report.
  • NEW SEED, NEW ID GAME. Your early tunics play a huge part in how painless a run is. The Undead Tunic is... well, it's not bad, but it's too situational to carry a run the way a Strength or Speed Tunic would.
  • LANCE DIES AGAIN. I don't really know how you're meant to skip his death, and apparently the intended method is by a potion of some kind? Not what I'm interested in, anyway.
  • LOW HEART RUN. Upon obtaining Lance's Sword, we duck out of the first dungeon, which changes the makeup of the world slightly. In particular, the vast, VAST majority of cardiac tissue in the game gets replaced with meteors. Hope you like being at 3 hearts, forever. This is, however, a necessary step to getting the Power of Compassion, which only appears after exiting the fourth dungeon with its item.
  • WE GET OUR ACTUAL TUNIC. It's no Speed Tunic, but it does the job for sure.
  • AND THEN WE LOOT LEVEL 2. These early ones take no time a-tall, since they're confined to such small spaces, but later dungeons are far less reliable.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna performs a highly inconsequential sequence break.

  • SILVER SHIELD. Probably not actually that important since the Spring is just so much better than the shield, but hey, why not.
  • POLICE REPORT. With this, we can pacify Hatasiah, which... is still a long ways into the game. But hey, one down, seven to go.
  • POTION OF BEER. It reverses your controls and heavily blurs the screen. You love to see it, possibly.
  • POTION OF ANTI-FUN. Slow potions suuuuuuuck. You can throw some potions at enemies to impart their effects on them, but I don't know if slow potions are among those.
  • WE SEQUENCE BREAK FOR A SINGLE DOLLAR. It's not much, but I wanted to do it. And just... disregard that level 3 is right by there and holds the lighter.
  • LEVEL 3 AND LEVEL 4 GO BY QUICKLY. Which is exactly what you want to see in these runs, get that item early and wiggle on out.
  • THE POWER OF COMPASSION, FOR REAL THIS TIME. To use it, you need to equip the Power of Compassion, drop a boss to the point where one ham will kill them, and use it with the proper mystery item in your inventory. The Power of Compassion will hover around in the item slot when the boss is vulnerable, and there's no penalty to biking out and retrying the fight if you don't have the right item.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna fails to meet standards.

  • SKIPPING AHEAD. Since a lot of the game's got really uneventful stuff, I decided to jump ahead to where things actually start occurring.
  • SNAIL SECRETS. Snails can rarely drop potions. If they do, their slime trail is modified to match the potion type they drop. So the Frugal Potion applies to Lenna when she steps in the snail's trail in Level 5.
  • BOMBS AND PAIGE. I think Paige only gains hearts if she's present when you collect a book, so the earlier you grab her, the better.
  • LEVEL 6 TAKES FOREVER. We do eventually find the Spring, but only after exploring the bulk of the dungeon.
  • ERROR LOG. Well, since we've already cleared out most of Level 6 by now, I think we can just hop back in and go pacify Catsiel, right?
  • ARCHANGEL CATSIEL IGNORED YOU. Hold up. That doesn't sound right. We've got the Error Log, why don't they want to be our friend? Hm.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna forgets her Xmas shopping list.

  • RIGHT INTO THE DUNGEON. The faster we power through all of these, the faster we get the Missinglasses and make overworld travel nigh-effortless.
  • SERIOUSLY, IF YOU SKIP THIS VIDEO ITS FINE. Dungeons have long since ceased to be interesting, I'm only showing the interior for the sake of completion. The first actual event happens at...
  • TIMESTAMP 2:40. Sometimes, the caves can have vendors! These are rare and valuable finds that can make a seed significantly easier. We can buy hover potions at this vendor, but most of the other drinks are... not worth the trouble.
  • THEN WE GET THE BOW. We don't need it as a weapon, seeing as we've got our trusty bookslinger on hand, but it's nice to round things out.
  • CRABADDON REFIGHT. Mostly just checking if I misremembered my list from earlier, but no, Crabaddon refuses to give in just the same as Catsiel. Given this, I elect to just round up all the items before attempting any other bosses. I do nearly get defeated, showcasing how you don't die at 0 health unless you take one more hit, and you can eventually recover to a half-heart if you survive for long enough.
  • STATUS EFFECT STORE. That's worth going for. Speed tunic is closer than ever!
  • MAXWELL'S LAB. Since it's the same as before, there isn't much to talk about. One of the snails has a Hover Potion, leading to a series of amusing events, but that's the only difference.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna accrues a bunch of useless garbage.

  • LASSO IN LEVEL 8. Sure, whatever. Gotta get it sometime, except we don't.
  • MISSINGLASSES TURN UP ALMOST IMMEDIATELY. Hell yeah. Let's go grab those pacifying items!
  • WE GET THE DAMASCUS KATANA. Again, I prefer the Tungsten Sword, but it's not hard to see what makes the Damascus Katana the stronger option. That plus our Strength Tunic allows Lenna to clean out the Hallucination game and grab the Beta Cup with little issue.
  • CATCH UP WITH TRESSA. Not only does that get us the patent, we also unlock the status effect store and the Speed Tunic!
  • WE COMMIT SOME FINANCIAL CRIMES. The Guild IOU happens shortly after.
  • MORE EXPLORING, MORE STUFF. Spring Boots, and enough books and marshmallows for Paige's locket.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna gets the last bits of useless garbage.

  • PHOENIX ASH. This rare item, hidden somewhere out in the world, allows you to transform Henrietta into MeggaHenrietta. This allows her to fight head-on, igniting enemies and icy obstacles alike! Which means she is usable as a means of sequence breaking, albeit not a very reliable one. She's also the only companion who will join you in fighting Delvin.
  • TRACK DOWN THE TRAVELING MERCHANT. He always sells water as one of his potions, so he's pivotal not only for his own sidequest, but the trade sequence as well.
  • CROSS BOMBS! Ever wish Zelda bombs worked like Bomberman bombs? Well... that's what these are. Hooray I guess! Maybe they can be used for sequence breaking I dunno.
  • THE SEARCH FOR AN OFFICE. This takes way longer than it ought to and I'm annoyed by it.
  • BOOK OF CHANGES. Also more of my bizarre outlook towards money.
  • BINOCULARS. Trading sequence and collection of pacifying items complete!


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna finishes her shopping list.

  • A GUN. I assume that, much like in La-Mulana, the Revolver is intended as a rare, but powerful, weapon to instantly solve any one combat encounter you come up against. Couldn't tell you, never used it.
  • I OFFICIALLY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS GAME WANTS FROM ME ANYMORE. Hatasiah wants the Error Log, which is SUPPOSED to be what goes to Catsiel.
  • CRABADDON ACCEPTS THE LOCKET. So that's correct, at least.
  • I DUNNO WHAT THAT THING IS. For whatever reason, Catsiel takes Patent No. 950996 to pacify? Why?
  • TENTALUCHUS' GLITCHED FORM. Did you expect a UFO? I didn't either. If we were fighting conventionally, we'd throw a bomb into the tractor beam to destroy him. But we just give them the... Beta Cup. Sure. Whatever.
  • HEALING TUNIC TIME. Again, the fight with Delvin (and the Chairman) is long and leaves little room for error, so a Healing Tunic is damn near essential on low-heart runs.
  • GLITCHED SANDOLPHIN IS AMAZING. So often, bosses in games that try to challenge 2D Zelda swimming are really uninteresting, because the bulk of your moveset in those games involves being on land, even with swimming powers. The Fish-Leather Shorts don't have a more varied moveset for it, but the base Sandolphin fight, and especially the glitched one, are built around that toolset, featuring heavy offense that requires moving fast and diving regularly. For reasons I can't even begin to guess at, Sandolphin accepts the Book of Changes.
  • AH, SO YOU'RE THE BASTARD THIS TIME. Santaquiel no longer has a glitched phase, and as such goes down really quickly, taking the Police Report with them.
  • WE HAVE TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE THE DUNGEON ON ITS OWN TERMS. Can't wrongwarp through forest dungeons. So that's annoying. It's also one of the first two dungeons though, so quick and painless. And then we give Headraniel the Guild IOU.
  • 2 FOR 8 FOR CORRECT ITEMS. I don't know WHY the order is so messed up, but it is. Probably for the best to just handle things like I do here on your runs.


Do you require aid.

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna mistakes trashtalk for compassion..

  • YEAH ITS THE PALACE AGAIN. You want to see me solve the same puzzle I've already done? No? Too bad.
  • DAMN IT, I DID IT AGAIN. Want to see me fail the same puzzle I've already done? HAVE I GOT SOME CONTENT FOR YOU
  • CHAIRMAN FIGHT BUT AGAIN. I wish I knew the Strength Tunic + Silver Bow thing at the time, that might've sped things up. BUT I DON'T!
  • BANKRUPTCY IS COMPASSION. I guess it counts as pacifying if we force the Chairman to flee with broken spirits, relinquishing the Power of Wealth in the process? Sure.
  • PAIGE VOUCHES FOR US. Just before the Delvin fight, Paige will give a speech about Lenna's compassion, if and only if you have obtained the Power of Truth through peaceful means. That's the game's way of saying you're on the right track for the best ending.
  • YOU'RE NO HERO, DELVIN! Again, I don't really see the speech here as "pacifying" so much as just completely dunking on his inferiority complex. But here we are.


Do you require aid.
҉͟LE͏̧҉V́ĘL̴͘͘ ̵9́̕͟ ̵͢-̵̶ ̨̨AR̸C̡҉H̛͝AǸ̷G̀͡EL͜ ̡͡SC̴H͏̷̨O͘҉́OL

aturtledoesbite - fanboymaster​
Lenna punches the cartridge.

  • THE ARCHANGELS RETURN. Blowing out the dust means restarting everything, which as we've seen just leads to the deaths of Lenna and the archangels at the hands of Lance. Frustrated and out of options...
  • WHOA, WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Hey, a debug menu. Let's just mosey on over to whatever options we can see and...
  • L͘͞E͟VE̸L͏̨ 9́͜. You get a short overview of this area during the menu selections, but now we can actually access it ingame. All the while, Lenna recounts her origins as an Archangel.
  • THE CLASSROOM. The clues are all still there, being WRONG at me. How DARE they.
  • OH MY GOSH, IS THIS YOUR B-BEDROOM? No, Paige. The bedroom h͠aḑ ̕a̢ ͜sc͢ythe ̢be̛fore͏.̨ ͠Th́i̢s̷ ͡one j̛̛u̵̕͡s̕t͟͜ h͠a̴̢s̶͜ ͟à̧͟ ̡̧͜c҉̀o̴̕mp̛̕l̶͘ę̢te͜͝l̷̸͝y͠҉͟ ̨ņ͠or͜m̢̕a͟l̛̀͠ a̴͜͢l̀͡p҉̵͢h̴̵́́à̴̕͟͞ ̧҉͏̨́a̴̷͘n͠͠d̴͘̕͏ ̴̵̢͜o̡m҉҉e҉̧̛͢ǵ̡͜͡͞á ̀͜ą̷̵̛̀n͢͡d҉ ͏̵̢͞ó̸̕m̛̕͞͝í́͜҉̨c̷̛͜r̢҉͜o͏҉̡̡n͠҉͝͝ ̸̀̕͡͝a̸͘n̷̨d̴̢̢ ̸͢͠ş̛i͜͏̧̕͝g̷̸͝m̶̧a̸̧͝ ̷̨̀a̛ǹ̸͝͡ḑ̶͠ ̶̡t̀͜͡ḩ̧͢ę҉t́͜a̵͝ ̷̨́a̷͏̧n̴̶͞d̶̡͜͡
  • A̷͠R̴̕C̛H̴͝͞A͝N͏̷͝G̡̢EL͟͟ L̀́E̴͢͜N͢N͢͏A̶.̵̨͡ V̨̧͢è͠r̡̕y҉̵ ͝u̴҉ńd͏é҉rw̶͠he͘lmì̢n̴̛͞g҉͢͜ ̷͜f̨̧i̛͠n͘͞a͡͝ĺ͘͜ ̨͟b͢o̴̡̢s͢͢͝s̀͘͝.̸ ̡͟͠T͢͞h̡͜e̛͜ ̴̡a͏̀͞rȩ̷n̶a͏̴͟ ̵̷͢b̢̧a̵̷̧s̢͟ì̡c̷a͢l͏̵l̡͟y̶ ͘͝k͏͝i҉l͢͡ĺ͢s ̵҉h͞͏͟é͠r̨̕ ̡҉b̷́̕e̕͢f̷o͏r̷̶͠e͠ ̧̛͏ýó͜u ͏́e̢vén͘ ne͘ed͠҉ ̴҉͞t̷o̴͞ ͞ap̡͢p̧ŗ͞oa̴c͘͢h.̨͞͞ ̶I̵͘͢ ̷j́ú̀s͡͞t̨̕ ̸̷̸f̷̀a̢͜c̛e̷t̡̛͢a͟͢ņ̛k̵̶̢ ͟͞t̵̕͞h̢̡e͡ h҉̡it̷̴̕s̛,̢ ̸̢͝h҉̀o͏n̸̴͢é̸ş̴t͘͝l̕y̴̧͠.̛͏
  • N͞EW̛ ̛͞I͜T̷̷̸E̡M҉:͏͡ ̸S̶̨̡̕Ţ̢͟͜Ơ̶͜Ń̢҉E̵̡̨͜.͜ I̛͟͠͝ ̶͜͢͡n̵͘͟҉ȩ̶̕͢͟v̢͡҉e̵͟͞r̴̕͜͢ ̴͞͡͠҉g̸̕͠͡a҉̵̨v̵͝e̶̕ ̵̵̸̀͡y̷͘͢o̴̶̢͢͞u̸̡ ̴̕͟m͘҉̶̸̢y̶͡ ́͢͞ń͢͝a̵̢҉m̕͏́é̴̛͜͞
  • Ĺ̸͢͜È̵̕Ņ̵̸̶͜N̨̕͟͝A̴̵̛͏͝ L͡҉̵҉E̡̡̕Ǹ́́͟͜Ń͢͝À̴̷͝͠ ̸̵̢̕͞L̡̕E̡̨̕N̷͜͟͠͏N̴̷̢͞Á̷̧̛ ̢̢͏Ĺ͢͞͡Ę̵҉N̸̕N̷̕A̧̢͜ ̵̵́́Ĺ̴̴͢Ę̸N͢͞N̶̷̡͡A̴ ̸̵͝͡L̵̕͢͝E̛͢N̛N͠Ą̵̧͘͘ ̵̶̨̢͜Ĺ̷̵̨͘E̢̛N͜͢N̵̕A̡̧͠ ͏͝L̨̨͝E̶̵̶͝N̨̕͘͟N̶̨̧̧͜À̸͜ ͏̴͞͡L̢͟E͟͏́҉N͘͟N͡A̶͞͝ ̶̴͘͡Ĺ̸́̀҉E͟͞Ǹ͜͞Ņ̵̧̀͡A̛ ͝͞͏̸L͢͜È͘N̕N̛͢A̛̕͜ ̵̶̡͝͝L̸͞҉͜E҉̴̶̴́Ņ͢҉Ń͏̕͢A̵̧̡͝͞ ̸̷̕L̨҉̴E͢͡N̸̡̧͟N͏҉̛҉A̴͟ ̧̕͠͡L̢É̵̢̕̕N̨͢N̸A͜͟͡ ̷̨̢͢͠L̨̀͡E҉̴̛͟N̨̕Ǹ̸̵̴̡A̷͘͢ ̸͘Ļ̵̷̷̧É͜͞Ǹ҉Ǹ̵̸͝A̵͏ ̶̷͟͞L̴̕͜͏E̷̷̡̡͟N҉̶Ņ̷͘͜͠A̢̡͘͢ ͢͏Ļ̶̛͜E͏̡͟͟͟N̸͢N͟͠A͡ ̴́͢͢͡L͘͜͢E̛͘̕N҉̸̨͞Ņ͢͞A̶̴͢͞ ̶̧͘L̵̨É̢̛N͘͡͏͏N̷̨̕A͘͟҉ ̡̛͘L̴É҉̶̢́N̨͟҉Ǹ̶̛A͞
  • S͢͝P̵̵E̶̢͘͠E̴̸̴͞D̶̨̢̛R̶̨͢͞U҉̡͢N̛N҉͏͘͟͞I҉̨̕҉N̴̡̛͘͞G̴̸̛͜ ́͘͠Ş̵̶̕T̵͘Ŕ̨A̧͟T͏̨Ś̡͝.̡͡ Í̸̡f́͝ ̸̡̧͝y̸̸̶̧o̶͝u͏̡͟͡͝'̴̡̛͜͝r̵͞e̷҉̵̷͢ ͏̧f̴̢ą̶͞ş̸̴́͠t͘,̵ ̸̸̡̛y̶̛͜҉̛o̕͡ư̴̡͠ ̧̨c̴̀à̴̸͘͞n̵̢̡͠͏ ̢͏҉c̷͞a͏͏t̶̕͘͜͠c͜h̸̀̀͢͝ ̷t̵̛̀̀͞h́͞e̷̡͞ ̶̸͞à̴̵͢͞r̛҉c̀h̵̕a̴̷̧̧ņ̧͢͞ģ̶̛̕e͞l҉̸͟͠ ́͘͞͠t̢͞͝h̷͜a͏҉t̶̛̀ ̨̀͜͞a̧̨͟͟҉p̴̛͜͡p̡͜҉e̡̧a̡r̸̸̡̕s̵̸̨͟ ̶̶̡͟i҉́̕͜ǹ͝҉҉ ̛͞t̨̧͜͞h̶̶́͢e̵̴͝͡͡ ̷̡̢͜͠ó̶̸̧̀p̨̢͟e̵͞n̨͘͞i̵̸̛͝͠ņ͢͏ǵ̨͘͟ ͟͟҉̡̨c̕͢͡u̵̡̢t̨s̡͟c͢͡͡͡e̡̧͘͘͟n̵̨̛͘ȩ̸̵̀̕ ̵̛͞b҉̷̛͜͞ȩ̸̢̧f҉̨͠ó̷͞r̸̴͜e҉̴̧͠ ̷̡͘s̢̀͡h̵́͢͠͝e͢͟͜ ̴̧̧͝h̢a̕͢s̴̡͞ ̕̕͟͞t̛́̕i̢͘̕͜҉ḿ̵̧͝ȩ̨͢͜ ͟͞t̴͏̴o̡҉̴͢͠ ̴̧͢͢͠e̶n͏͏͠t̷̀e҉̕r̵̨ ҉̷͘ą́̕͟n̨͝d́͘͟͟ ̀͏̨͡s͠͝e̷̶͡͠ą̕͜ĺ̴̶̴̛ ͞ĺ̕͘ȩ̵̵̛v̵͠e̴̢l̶̸͟͝ ̨̡̛͢9҉̢͞͡͠,̷͡ ́͜l̵͡͝͞͏e͏̵t̵̵̛́̀t̴̶̕͞ì̕ǹ̨͟͟͝g̕͏͝҉ ̕͘y͠҉̧ơ͞͞u̷͜͝ ̷̵̧s̶̛k͡͞į̵̵̶p͘͟͏̡ ̢́͢c̸̴͘҉o҉̀͠m͞p̕҉́͟l͏̴e̵̕t̢̨͘e̴͜͢͞͞l̸͢͜͜y҉̷̴̢ ̶̛͠t̨̧ó͟͜͢͞
  • Ţͬͦ̌̄̑̎ͮ̉̋͊͜H̸̢ͤͪͩͬ͗̂͆̇̽̃ͯ̍͂̑͢E̷̵ͯ͒ͩ͌͌ͦ̽ͧͯ̊̏͆͆̊̽̆̋͡ ̷̈́ͨ͒ͨͩͮͨ̂̎ͤ̕͏͘̕Ȯ̶̷̀͊̐̐͑̿̂̍̈́ͮͦ̍̓̈́͗͋̚N̵͂̃̿̿̆̉͗͐͋͊͏́L̛̈́͒̐ͥ̔͡͏̸Yͩ̒̓͗̊̊̾̇͌͂̃͟͏͟ ̶̴̆̐͊ͧͮ͋ͥ̌̀ͩ͆̾͗̽̈̎ͧ͘͟W̶̨̡̉̅͂ͪ͗́Ô̡͂ͮ̏̃͛̄̎͐̽͐̇̎͆̉ͩ̏̌Rͦͬ̈́̄͑ͧ̒̿͑͐̋̽͌͌̊̒́́̚̚L͊̑ͤ͆͐͒̉͆̅̅ͥ̿҉̵D̸̨̨ͣͤ͛̔ͫ̆͒ͣ̍ͪ̚̚͟͡ ̡̧̍́̑ͨ̓̎ͣ͊̅ͩͨ̌ͭͫͫ̈̋̚̕҉Tͥ́̑̔ͥ̎ͬ̌̊ͧ͏̸H́̈́͋ͣ̔́ͭͣ͜A̶̵ͥ̒͆̇͋ͧ̍͋̂̅̂ͭ͋̇͟͡͡T̴̶ͯͥ̾ͤͭ̇̍͜͏͘ ̡̏̄̈́̒̉ͩͯ̎̊͗ͯ̉ͪ̇͏̧Ę̶̧͒̊̂̊́ͭ̾͂ͫ́̚͞͠Ẋ̶̢̢ͨ͊̅̽ͩ͗͆͌̅̍ͤͯ͌̀̍͠͞I̧͐̐͛͒͐ͬ̈̓ͦͥ̄ͣͤ͒͊ͪ́͟S̴͆̈́̇͗̄͗ͥͫ͗ͯ͑͞Ť̨ͦ̑̓̎ͭ̄̏͌̇ͣ̍̑ͫ́̀Ş̛̛̇̓̓ͨ̂̇̿ͭͥ̾̚͝ ̨ͮ̈́̽̓̽̑̐ͯ͒͑̀͂͌͗ͦͩ̆͘͜͟Í̷̌̃ͧ̉ͮ͑ͤ͐̂ͩͦͫ̍̓̅̆͞S̵̸̈̓̇͒́̐ͣ͒̃̎ͨ͊̋͑́͟͞ ̧̄ͭ̑̆͂͂͋̈ͦ̔͛̀ͭ̊͂̓̀T͛ͨ͗ͯ̈́̑ͦͭͮ̔̔̿̀ͨͦ̈͂̔́͝͡H̶̵͊̒͒̑̌̓̐ͯ̔ͣ̉̆̉͆̔ͧ̈ͨ͛͟͢͝A̽ͩ̐̍ͩ̈͂͊̽̀̌̑ͩ̽͗͏͝҉̀Ṫ̀͑̽̈́̊̏́͡͝ ̷̧ͧ̎̑ͫͩͩͩ̐̒̑͘͞Wͪ̾̐͒͋̎ͪ̔̓̍͗̈́̽͡͏͟Ȟ̸̸̨̆͒ͭ̔͌͐͌̿̓͂ͮ̍̾̿ͫͮ̚͜͡Ĩ̴̵̡̈́ͦ͆̌͒ͦͤ̈́̀̊ͣͥ̽ͪͪ͑ͦ̀͡C̐̅̂̈́̍ͤ̽̊͏̡H̴̋̂ͪͣ̇͘͡ ̸̡̧̋̍̎̀̓͗͢Y̷ͤ̐̑̾͋͘͟͠Ǫ̶̓ͨ͛́ͪ͐̿̓͗̓́̅͘Ų̸ͦͧ̅̓͂̿ͤͬ̄̌͡͞ ̡̛͆ͣ͛͌ͥ̅̿͛͐̚Ṗ̛ͦ́́ͥ̿ͨ́̉̀̍͌̇̚͏Ȩ̵̧̓̂ͪ̓́͛̃̓̈̈́͞R̢ͦ̍̔͒͌̓́ͥ̆̂͑ͯ̽ͬ͐ͩC̸̢ͮͣͮ̿͑̂̋̿̑͊̈́ͭ̈́̚E̸̡ͮ͊̌͌̈́̍̈́̔ͧ̓ͮ͛̀̚͞I̷̴̶̿͋̀͗͒͐ͪͫ̈́̀ͤ͆̅̿͠͝V̒̋ͪ͊ͩ͒̅̃͛̂̀̉ͭ̾ͥ̅́͘̕E̶̢͋̉ͫ̏̐̌ͭ̎̀̚.̷̴̡̊̇̈͗͋́ͥ̇͆͑̑̀̄̀ͮ̓̈́͑ͦ̀
    Á̵̡̡̋͊̾̂ͤ͊̀ͯ͑ñͨͧͮ̉̊͋̓ͩͩ̐͆̕͡͞y̨ͫͯ̍̇͂͊̉ͪ͊͑ͪ͗ͭ̈̄̾̀̀͡ ̓̆̉̄̄̄̉̐ͭ̈́̀ͯ͞a̢͗͊ͯͪͭ̀͑͠͞ŗ̵͂ͭͣͫ͗̒͛ͮͨͨ͋ͣ̔̇̐͑̑́̚m̂͌͛̒̌́̾̑͑̈́͑͆͆̾̈̀҉͟͠y̵ͥ̾̾̿̿ ̵̀̑ͫͨ͘ţ̸̢̍̿̐̽̑͒͡h̨̀̏͗̋̈ͮͩ̋̇̑̑̔̾ͭͯ̚͡͝͞͏a̛̒̇̎ͭ̔̀͠ṫ̵̡ͩ́̇͏ ̴̶ͦ͂͋̈̊͛̆͊̊͒m̡̈́ͯͪ̆ͨ̎̎̅͆͌̀͏a̛̛̐ͧ̂͋͛ͭ̃͜͠͡r̽͌ͧ̈́̊ͩ̊ͥ̃͘͘͏c̵̸̢͒̓̑̈̓͞͡h̶ͫ̓ͨͦ͗͊̓ͭ̑̒͌̈́̊̏ͧȅ̛ͨͤͬ̌ͥ̿̄͟͝͠ś̨̉̋̄̽ͥ́́͘ ͪͭ̎̓̈̐̒̒ͮ͡f̶ͪͥ̐͌͗ͮ̑̒ͩ̅͌̾̈͆ͮͭ͞҉ǫ͐ͦ̇̋̿͂̈́̑̔̐ͭ͒ͭ́̀͜͜r̨̢̛ͬͩͫ̅̂͌ͧͤ̌́͘͢t̴̴̐̊ͩ͗̊ͬͫ̆̅ͩ̏ͥ̎̓̍́͟͟h̶̔̇ͤͯ̂͌ͥ͒̒ͥ̓̅͂͏ ͂̀ͦ̒̓͑ͩ͘͢͜͠͠o̸̸͋̎͆̈ͩ̔͢͟n̨̛ͬ̂̿̀ͬ̍̇̓̓̃̑̈̈̓ͯͦ͢͠ ̸̅̑̍̔ͮ̍̌͊͆͋͢͟͞f̸̧̔ͯ͌̇̔̇̿̑̊͛̎̑ͭ͂̄̃ͫ͘͡a̴̶̶̢̿ͪ͌̿ͦ̂̈́͆̏lͣ̏̊̎ͨ̆̽̀́́̆̊͠͝s̵̵ͦ̇ͨͧ̅̈̄̓͊̏͡͝ę̵̨ͦ͂͒ͫ̈́͜ḩ̵̶̂̊̉̔̆͋̇ͮ̾̌̓ͦ̄́͆́͡ó͆͋̓̏̾̍̑͑̊ͤ҉͝͡o̧̍̅ͧ͊̋d̴̡̛̛̓̿̑ͪ͛̒ͭ̐ͪͮ͂͊͢s̶̋̾̇ͥ̉̋ͤ̿͗̾ͭ͑̌͂ͦͮͣ̀̚͢ ̸̴̡̌͐̈̋͗ͤ̋ͩͮͦ͒̉ͯ̚͜͡iͤ̿͌̀̍̉ͭ̊ͪͣͭ̾͜͟͡ş̶̸ͫ̏͛̈̊̕͝ ͭ̂͑̊̽͗͗ͫͧ̈̓̐̉ͧͦͦ̇ͤ̎͜͝d̨̾̿ͬͤ̽͆̀̑͑̎̾͌͌̈́͗̍́̐͆́ę̴̴̢̡̑̏ͮ͐͐ͪaͤͩͨ̄҉̨̧d̛̅ͭ̋̀̈́̑͐́҉ ̧̉̾̍ͪ́ͥͧ͒͆͟͡͏͘b̶̧̽̑̒͛ͩ̔̄̏ͧ̂̓̐ͩ͒ͤ̐͛ͨĕ̛̓ͫ̓͊̽̈ͦ̒̚͜͢͞ḟ̴̨́͂ͥͭ͋ͯ̄ͯ̿̓ͩ̽͜͡ȏ͌ͭ̓̅̑̏̌͊̏̉ͫ͂͛ͩ̎͘͏̶̴̨ŗ̴̶̋̔̂͋̓̇͑ͥͪ̓͋́ͨ́e̢ͭͣ̐̓ͩ̏̑̚͠͠ ̸̉̍̈́̽̈͒̀ͨ̑ͫ̇͂͌ͪ͘͜t̛̍̀͆͆̚͢͞h̷̡ͤ͑ͨ̿̽̎́̀e͋̌̌ͥ̓͌́͞ÿ̷̸̧̑̆͡ ̴͊̽̐̀͌ͤͣ͞t̶͒̾̅̐̓̾̾ͪ̓̌͑̾ͯ̉̌͑ͫ̀̚͡ä̴́͌̄̑͋ͨ̓̐́͘͞k͋̈ͩͯ͆̃͗ͤ̌͐ͩ͑҉̷͜͝e͒ͧ̆̅ͤ̐̒̄ͣ͐ͭ͛͒̾́͒͛̃҉́͞ ̷̴̢ͪ̍͑̒̍͆͊ͥ̇̕e̴̿͊̔̏̆̃̈́̃̀ͣ̂̀̓̐ͣ̀́̚͞v̡̇ͫ̃̉̒ͨ̑͑̏ͣ̀̚͟e̶̋ͮ̀̏̂ͭͫ̆ͫͩͩ̎ͧ̈́n̵ͬͣͭͤ̇̑ͧ̊͊͒̿ͨ̓ͧ͊̈́̔̕͞ ̸ͦ͑̒̑̉͒͑̿̿̂͋͟͞͠t̒̎̐͏h̴̡̨ͥ̿̈̄͛̉̅͑͌͊̓ͧ̐͊́҉e̶̓ͮ̔̔͆̂̀͊̉̀́̚̕͜͞i̸ͪͯ̃ͬ̿̉͢͢r̴̆̀͂͒̉ͬ̒̈́ͦͪ̇̑͆͊̐ͭ̀͝͡ ̔ͭ̓̾̾ͣ͗ͩ̈́ͩͥ̈́̓͜͝f̵̨̀̃̅ͤ̓ͩ̀̽͑̄͞͏͜į̨̛̓ͧͭ̄ͮ̾͌͑̉̇͋ͤ͆̚̚͘r̿̇ͣ̂͗҉̧š̴̵̐̍͂́͢t̴̋͂ͨ̌̏͋̄ ̴͆͑̓ͫͩͦͨ͠s̢͋̈̑̒̓̂ͫ͞t̸̄͑̈́ͤ̔̓͑̾̉̓͛̄͊ͩͩ͞ȩ̌ͨ̽ͯ̆̀̕͠p̾̇ͯ̿͋ͣͣͣ͞.̴̶̧̓̂̑ͣ̀ͯͣ̐͌̄̆̍̀̑͋͒̄̄͟͝ ̑ͣͣ͋̏́̄ͭ̉͗̍̋̃͒ͫ́̚͞H̑̂̀ͨ͗̅͋̑ͨͧͣ͒ͭ̃҉ơ̛̓͌ͫͣ͛̊ͧ̾ͯ̍̚̚̕͝w̛͗͑̓̋̄͑̓̚ ̨ͩͯ̽͂̓̆͢ç̵̷̶̡̿ͯ̀̓̿̽̒͑̚a̸̴̷ͤͣ͊̓ͥ͜͢ǹ̀͛ͪͧ͒̉̏̓͒͊͑̉́̒ͦͬͦͬ̕͟ ̛ͤ̈́͑͂ͩͮ̅̔ͤ̒̈́ͨ͆ͪ̓̔̔͛͠ý̴̿̂̄͒̈́̽͆͋͜ȍ̷̡̌ͯ̃̉̂́͜͞ų̴̛ͥ̽̓̽̈́̆̈́͐ͯ͂͊͌͒͑̉͞͞ ͊͒͑̎ͬ̓̉͒͏́͜͡͠f̸̋ͣ̊ͤ̐̏̀́̀̔͛̽ͥͬͦiͫ̌́̊̂̐ͨͮ̽͞g̨̛ͭ̆ͮͭ́͊ͬͭ̎ͩ́͘͠͝ḩ̶̡ͯ̐́̀ͫ̉͂ͧ̄͒̃̏̌̋ͣ̎͊͜ţ̛̛̊ͧͥͬ̉̔ͥ̎̐ͬ̌̆͆̂̍ͤ̋́ ̍̆̑̑̍̒̑͆̋̈͛ͯ̅͂̀t͌̄͐̐͑ͬ͗̽̎҉̢́̕͝ḩ̵̶͑ͧ̽ͤͫͮͮ͛͊̎̀ͩ̃ͣ͋͆͞eͨͩ́ͫͯ̉ͪ͒̇̉̎ͨ́̈́ͫ̇̃̊͏́ ͋̈̈ͥͭ̅̿̎ͫ̏ͤ͜͜͞͝ǫ̛ͯ̋ͧ͂͊̎̈́͆̆̓͂̃͋p̛ͯ͑͑ͨ̒ͧ͒̕͢p̢̢̛̅ͫ̍ͮ̌ͣ͋͂̋̈́̄̈́͑̐҉̛ơ̸̄ͩ͆͋́̀ň̨̽ͧ͋ͬ̒͑ͪ̃ͣ͊̇e̶ͬ̑͐ͧ́ͮ͒̐̚͢͏n̢̨ͫ̿͗͌̒̊̀ͭ̾͂ͥ̄ͬ҉͘҉t̶ͥ̑ͩ͌͛͒̀̊̄͝ ̷̊̓͐̐͑ͯͨ͊̾̀̅̌̚͞w̓͗ͧ̂ͥ͑ͧ̑̍ͭ̎ͯͤ̐͏́́h̷̑̿͌͂͂͗ͬ̕͘͡ǫ̸̧̓ͪͯ̎̄͜͟ ̛̂̔̔̑ͦͪͮ̓ͪ̽ͭ̀̌́ͫͧp͆̏ͥ͘̕͢͟ŕ̡̛̊̈́̇̒̿̚͢͡͞o̴̧͐ͫ͛ͤͩͯ̀̍̄̐̓̀͐̈̈ͨ̕͜v̴̋ͯ͑ͣ̈́̋͋́́̒ͨ̉̚͝͏҉͝i̴̍̎̐̏͝҉҉͜d̛̆̈ͥ̇̔̔̒ͫ̃ͬͥ͑̃̄̑̿̚͢͝e̡̛͋͒͋ͪ̉̄ͨ͟s̵̨ͪ̌̋͛ͩ̌̉̃͜ ̵̴ͥ͒̔ͬ̇̿͢i̸ͩ̌̉̎ͫ̊̈ͭ͘͟͡͝m͂͒͛̇ͧͭͦ҉̨a̡̢̋̿͋͆ͯ̒͛̅͑ͬ̏̅̾̔̆̂͌ͪ̕͘̕g̨̛͐͛̀͊ͨ͒ͤ̋̍͋͊̈̆̚e̵̒̿͂̋̒̏̆͛͂̐̿́͛͗̔͌ͮ͘͘͘͠s̨̾̀̂ͪͪ̎̈̍͡ ͛̾̿͒͆͡͏̢̧ţ̸͂͛ͩͩ̒͊͂͐ͫ͌͑ͯ́ͮ͂ͬ͠҉ỏ̵̊ͫͣͦ̓ͮ̋ͤ͞ ̄̊̊̃ͬͭ̎͒̂ͭͥ͋̚͞y̧ͥ̆̊̓ͥ͆ǫ̷́̇̓̉̓͛ͪ̀͟uͭ̎̋̈́ͯͧ̾͛̑̇̆̚͢҉̛͠҉r̸̢̛̛̊̍͛͒ͣ̒́ͬ̐̾ͩͥ̊̅̾͑ͯ͐ ͦ͐͊͒ͥ̈́̅̍̾̀͑̂ͣ͒̓͏̸̸̀͟e̷͋ͪ́̅͆̌ͫ͒̿͛̈́͆͊͑̄̓̚͜y̵ͧͩ̑͋̓́̏̏͆ͪ͡eͮ̓̄̓͛̀͟s̉̐ͩ̀͋̎̑̃̂̚҉̡̕ ̴̧̈́ͭ̔ͪ̏̿ͩ̒̒͆̈́͜͠͝a̡͒ͧ̔́͋̇̊͢͏n̴̈̏ͩ̄͠͞d̛͋̔̏̿̆̓̍ͭ́͛ͧ̃͗̉͗̅̕͜͜ ͪ͆ͯ͊͊͌̾̎̈̓̒̉̀͘͟g̵̸̛ͤ͋͊̉ͯͤ̐̀̉ͣͫͥͣ͋̿͑́͘͟i̶̛̍ͧ̆́ͦ̿̾͆̚͞v̸̷ͪ̽ͩ̇͂͗͆ͥ̐̋̓̑̓ͯͮ̀̀͝͡ěͤ̅ͣ̎ͮ̄͡͠s̴̨ͩ̈͛ͯͮ̉̐͟͢ ͂̎͑͗҉̡̡̛͠sͮͬͩ͗҉͢ť̸̷͊͌̔̒̔͞rͩ̓̎ͥ͐̎ͤͯͨͫ͌ͤ̚̚҉̶͏e̛͆͛̓͗ͤ̎̐͗͏̵̡n̷̶̛̽͛̆ͯ̓ͯ͌ͬͫͥͭ̋̋͑̃ͯ̈̓͑͜g̷ͯ̋̄͛̏͛ͯ̒̏̀ͣ̏̈͑́ͫ͝t̴̛ͭ͆ͧ̋̌́͡h̶̓ͣͤ͛͋̊ͬ̾ͯͭ͌͂̌ͫ͛͋̓̀̿́ ̨̛̌͂͆̾̐ͩ̆̔̀̽͛t͊̌̊ͨͭ͋̆̇͊̇̀̉͗̔̾ͮͧͫ͏̸̷̡̕o̓͌͒ͤ̋̋͛ͯ̔̊͏͏͞ ̴̸͋͋̑̎̽ͤͤ̓͌͌̅̍̒̋ͯ͗̀y̷ͨͤ̾̽ͮ͒͑͋͒̉̆̄ͬͬ͒̿́͞͡o̶͛ͯͩ̑͂ͥ̂ͬ̌̍͗̌̾͊̉̄̂ͧ͝ư̷̴͑̒̐̿͐ͬ͒r̵̓͆̈́̽ͨͫ ̵ͦ̿̒̒̊̿ͮ͂̽̏̎ͥͮ̓̀a̸͒̄ͣ͋̃̌̈́ͥ̆ͦř̵ͯͬ̌̋͊ͩ͂ͤ́ͬ̓̎͋̿̊̋ͩ̕͝͝͡m̵̴̛ͥͤ́ͩͩ̍̚͡͝sͮͭͦͬ̿͐̔͐̾̆̄͋̀̉ͤͮ͗ͪ́̚?̶͋ͣ̄ͦ͌ͨ̆͆͌͐ͣ̚҉
  • F̨I̶̶X͢ ́̕͟T̨̢H̵͡͏E͜ ͢E͞R̴ŖO͡Ŕ͢͢.̕͝ Just watch the video, will ya.


Do you require aid.

Hello again! To wrap up this LP, I'd like to talk a bit about what exactly lends Lenna's Inception its charm and flaws, parceled together as they are. I like this game a lot, but at the same time, I recognize the areas where it just doesn't work and could do a lot better. I'm hoping that Bytten Studios' next game, Cassette Beasts, is a success as well. But right now, we're talking Lenna's Inception, which means we need to talk about the history of Glitches.

When a piece of software gets pushed, whether the intent is there, beyond the bounds of what's supposed to happen, a lot of things can happen. Sometimes you crash the program. Sometimes you brick the system. Sometimes, however, it keeps working, using junk data, and produces a "glitch". These phenomena are so striking when they occur, it's no surprise that they've become a modern staple of pop culture. Like zombies, or the Lovecraft mythos, they can easily slide between either horror or comedy depending on how they're handled, but they also tend to get overused a lot as a storytelling or thematic crutch.

The most interesting thing about them is that they take such a wide variety of forms due to the nature of their creation, yet their media representation always tends towards a few specific examples. Perhaps the most iconic one would be the MissingNo. glitch from Pokémon, where the player's name gets fed into the game's encounter table, producing Pokémon that cannot and should not exist. Jumbled sprites are only one such option, of course: faulty movesets, reaching coorinates you normally couldn't, warped polygons on 3D systems... they sound simple in description, but can create really striking effects from pure random chance. But to give the proper feel to this in your media, you need to really duplicate that feeling that something's gone wrong. Even games that weren't outright trying for "glitchy" as a theme can do this: possibly one of the earliest examples is NetHack, where hallucination just means shuffling things around on the ASCII table to mask item and enemy appearances.

Lenna's Inception borrows most heavily from the GB Zelda game, Link's Awakening, in its portrayal of glitches. The Missinglasses are literally just the screenwrap glitch from that game in item form. It borrows from a lot of other media too, including Pokémon, Zelda, Bomberman... a lot of things, really. Even the books include references to Elder Scrolls, Call of Cthulhu, and Harry Potter. It's one of those games that knows its being nerdy and using referential humor, and a lot of times that just puts me off of games. It's very, VERY easy to just substitute reference after reference in lieu of an actual core to your writing until there is no writing, just a hollow fibrous husk that Ernest Kline would approach with mild hesitation.

Lenna's Inception has a few fumbles on that count (most notably the Elder's Cave), but on the whole, it does a good job of keeping the references as just that, references. The story is very much its own thing, though it takes a spin on the established Zelda flow of "beat 8 bosses, go to Ganon tower, win the game". Those missteps, though... while they can sometimes be played for comedy (like punching the cartridge), they can get really noticeable and throw off the feel the game has going for it. And that feel is NICE when it lands, too. The opening shot of the school with its muted colors and the students all being just a liiiittle bit off is great, as is using the term "archangel" for the bosses, especially once they reach their glitched forms.

Glitches are just one thing I like that's been brought into the mainstream lately. Another is procedural generation, where the stages you go through aren't designed beforehand, but rather generated on a per-run basis. I think that this does a great deal to add to the replayability of the game, but that comes with the caveat that there needs to be a good core to that as well. If there is no meaningful difference between any given procedurally generated layout aside from how many 20x16 rooms you have to fight through, it's bad.

At the top end of the procedural generation scale, you have games like Spelunky and Brogue, where contending with the layouts is a key part of the game, and you are given the tools needed to handle the terrain as much as you have tools for handling foes. At the middle of the pack is stuff like Dead Cells, where the procedural generation is just a spice added to the main dish, in that game's case the combat. It doesn't need to be flashy or have big setpieces, because that's not what it's here to deliver. At the bottom end is things like Chasm, where the procedural generation is used as a substitute for actual level design, and there is no other engaging system to distract you from that fact. Chasm is a perfectly serviceable, if perhaps bland, Castlevania search action whatever, but there is no realistic difference between a run with one seed and a run with another.

Lenna's Inception, unfortunately, does not handle this well, for the most part. Certainly, procedural generation can lend a great deal of charm to the game, with things appearing as wrong or broken or "glitched" more often due to the layout, and mixing up the boss order to change which glitched forms you encounter is nice as well. That said, the actual level pieces are the same things, the dungeon items don't open up your overworld traversal beyond "this tool is a key for these kinds of blocks", and the 2D Zelda combat is just not engaging enough to carry the game. Using the Missinglasses to skip as much of the world as you can as soon as you get it is, in my opinion, the correct way to play the game.

Overall, I like Lenna's Inception a lot. It has heart and charm, and while there's some parts that it doesn't do very well, the parts it does do well are easily worth slogging through the bad bits for.


Perfect attendance award!
fanboymaster: Has a cabana in Chungusburg.
Trynant: Gold Bull gives you money.

: Actually good at the game.
Albatoss: 8-bit champ.
Awkward Grant: Sometimes simple AI is best.
Beowulf: I don't feel like I should have missed, but game disagrees!
Jikkuryuu: This is why I hate finance.
Torzelbaum: Potato, tomato.

I'm getting good at this, I think. Help me out on the ol' Patreon if you agree!

Thanks for joining me on a very normal adventure!