Special Guest Cameos! Atrocious Sega CD level CG! Bad Chroma Key! Big Men! Bug Men! A Menacing Pair of Eyeballs! A Spurious Grasp of Logic! Xena beating down bandits for funsies! Everyone Overacting more than Everyone Else! Prometheus has it all!
Xena notices something odd one day after she beats down some bandits for the crime of... existing somewhere in her general area and they die from it, despite their minor and superficial injuries (Xena considers stabbing a guys entire throat out and afterwards, giving him a tracheotomy, to be a perfectly safe and routine medical procedure. It was history times, doctors Hadn’t been invented yet).
The reason for this is instantly obvious to everyone; Prometheus has been captured by the Gods and chained to a rock. Which makes me question when, precisely, you’re supposed to slot Xena in to the canon of Greek mythology, but whatever. Long and short is that if Prometheus is tied to a rock, then humanity loses the gifts he granted us, like medicine (hence immune Systems or healing from minor injuries) or fire (so... fire stops working?)
also, we learn that Hera is the one who kidnapped Prometheus, and she’s never depicted as anything but a big Ol pair of sky eyeballs (skyballs?), and she hates the human race for reasons that are not explained.
Anyhow, Xena visits some sexy dancing oracles and they tell her to find a magic sword that can break Prometheus’ chains, a task she accomplished really easily, despite being menaced by what I suppose are supposed to be bug men, but look more like guys wearing crabs for hats. And then Kevin Sorbo shows up, because this is a Hercules crossover episode!
From context clues, I picked up that Xena is a spinoff from Hercules, and not two shows that just happened to air in tandem.
Anyway, Hercules is trying to prevent Xena from breaking Prometheus out of God Jail, less because hes a glory hound who wants everyone to celebrate him for Yet Another Good Deed (but everyone kind of assumes that), and more because it turns out that using a magic sword to break a magic chain makes them both explode and kill whoever happened to be standing around, and Herc doesn’t want his friend to explode. Xena doesnt mind, however, and figures it’d help her atone for her checkered past.
So the two of them alternate between working together to complete their adventure and save Prometheus, and steal the sword from one another in order to kill themselves and save the world. It’s kind of like that one scene in Endgame, just Goofy instead of Irritating, and here there’s a character I genuinely like involved.
Sorry Jeremy Renner and Scarlet Johanson! But I feel the way I feel!
Anyhow, while they’re Adventuring (dealing with more Guys With Crab Hats and also a pterodactyl), Gabrielle And Iolous (Hercs Gabrielle) almost have a romantic moment while she’s trying to treat his small wound that is making him go delirious with fever and blood loss, and tells him a story that I think is meant to imply that theyre destined to be lovers, but honestly feels more like she’s commenting on the fact that they’re basically the exact same character.
Anyway, Xena and Hercules realize there’s an easy loophole around the whole “Freeing Prometheus will kill whoever frees him” by just throwing the sword at his chains, which still makes them blow up, but isnt close enough to be hurt by the explosion. And, with Prometheus freed, fire starts working again and Iolous instantly makes a full recovery, and he and Hercules go off on their own Legendary Journey.