Let's Play Money Making Game (Zelda: Second Quest)

Now with an Emulator that doesn’t take crummy pictures! Fewer Broken Links to Pictures (I hope), possibly less Narrator/ Character confusion, and a greater reliance on Gamefaqs, since the Second Quest is a bitch!

Anyhow, I’m picking this up right where the last one left off…

Chapter One:
In Which Nothing is Always the Same as it Never Wasn’t

When we Last left The Dude, he had managed to smite the Dark Lord Ganon, retrieve the lost Triforce(s) of Power and Wisdom, freed Zelda and saved Hyrule from tyranny and evil. Just then- BAM comes a bash on the head and The Dude is down.



It looks like, despite disintegrating into a pile of dust, Ganon was still quite alive. He promptly re-kidnaps Zelda, disassembles the Triforce of Wisdom, steals all of The Dudes equipment and money and rearranges the very geography of the countryside. As he loses consciousness, The Dude hears him snarl “Beat him up some and take all but 3 of his hearts too”. What an asshole.



So here we are, once again, in the bottom-middle most part of the charted land, sans money, sans weapons, sans even his redundant circulatory system. “Well,” says the Dude, dusting himself off ,“lets get busy then”, and he heads into the same cave he started his first quest with.



Luckily, Ganon was nice enough to give the Wooden Sword back to the Old Man that gave The Dude his first killing implement. This is unusually sporting of that Evil Pig, but The Dude isn’t about to look a gift sword in the mouth.


So far, his Second Quest doesn’t seem much different then his first foray into heroism. The Dude makes merry, thinning out the numbers of giant, land based, cephalopods who heave boulders out of their faces.



Also, some of the kindly Moblins who keep things Secret from Everyone have been restocked with more money. The Dude decides to pay his old pal a visit and receives some shakedown money.

Unlike the First Quest, the Second requires some Dungeon Items if you’re aiming for a massive amount of equipment as quickly as possible. So we head for the depths of Level 1.



Here we see the first real differences between the First and Second Quests. The Dungeon Layout is fairly different now. Ganons Minions are diligent workers, since The Dude couldn’t have been unconscious for more then a few hours.



Almost immediately inside the Dungeon, The Dude claims his first Item, the Boomerang. Not particularly useful for exploration, but useful to fighting monsters.



Also, The Dude is greeted by Stalfos. The revenants are now capable of firing extremely powerful Lasers from their swords now, but luckily they have awful aim, most likely because they also have no eyes. The Dude dispatches them and retrieves the precious moneys contained in their carcasses. Perhaps this quest won’t be much harder then the original.

Perhaps not.

“Quit Dragon my heart around” quips The Dude, feeling much more proud then he really should for having said that. The Dude Triumphantly finds another Heart after defeating Aquamentus and an eighth of the Triforce. That’s… nice



Taa Daa


The Dude also now has enough money from his bloody conquests to afford the Blue Candle, which will increase his earning potential as now he can uncover more Moblins and demand more money in exchange for not smashing their faces in. The Free-Market works wonderfully.


The location of most of the Dungeons has changed as well, Level 2 being where the Blue Ring Shop was before. The Dude causes its statuesque Guardian to spring to life, kills it, and descends into the next Level.


Level 1 was fairly dangerous, but perhaps that was a fluke. Maybe Level 2 is safer from the ravenous hoards?



Honestly, I’m getting tired of being wrong all the time. Yes, it seems that Ganon isn’t screwing around this time, he sends a small army of Gibdos into the very entrance of Level 2. These monsters were dangerous with a heap of hearts, Blue Ring and Not-Wood Sword. Armed as he is now… well, The Dude is glad that the path out of the room isn’t blocked.


…Which doesn’t help him very much a couple of rooms later.

Thank Farore that Ganon didn’t mention that his minions should probably close the doors leading to the Dungeon Item. The Dude runs for his tiny-green panted life.


Though you can’t really tell from this illustration of his heroic career, The Dude has discovered one of the more irritating aspects of his new Adventure, Some Walls are Fake. He decided to rest against the far south wall and comically stumbled through the masonry. Oh The Dude.


And here it is, the Whistle, previously a mostly useless item that made it easier to Traverse the Country, and uncovered Level 7. Now, it will also uncover hidden caverns, leading to a greater supply of ordinance and treasure. Handy.


Here, for example, is just a dusty stretch of desert… inexplicably close to a mountain, forest and several large lakes. However, a single Toot on his Whistle causes the churning sands to move and shift revealing a staircase…



Underneath which is one of The Dude’s favorite sights: An Old Man offering either a new Heart or Red Medicine. Not one to ask where, exactly, he got an extra Heart, The Dude quickly grabs the organ and smiles. His Health has hit 5 Hearts, which means he’s ready for a Weapon Upgrade.



Luckily the Old Man who gave The Dude his Not-Wood Sword has retrieved his treasured… treasure.


The Old Man sighs, “You know, I just got this thing back, you must have had it forever, it was LOUSY with monster guts, blunt and apparently you just threw it away as soon as you found a better sword. That is NOT the way to treat someone else’s property, I don’t care how many Hearts you have, you’re not getting my Not-Wood Sword again!”
“But”, replied The Dude ”I have mastered using it!”
“Using what?” inquired the Old Man.
The Dude was taken aback; he was honestly expecting that simply saying that would have been enough for the Old Man. He was tragically unaccustomed to how petulant the elderly can be. He took a guess at the answer;
“Using… my disappointment at treating your gift so poorly?”
“Seriously? You think I’d agree by you saying that?”


The Dude sighed, grabbed the Sword and ran. He may have been unaccustomed to the attitude of the Old Man, but he did know how quickly they could run. The rheumatism from living in a damp cave certainly didn’t help. The Dude scampered off, leaving the Old Mans cave in the distance. He dimly heard what the Old Man yelled at him and found himself surprised that such an old man even knew those words.



The Dude also had enough money to buy a Blue Ring. Wouldn’t you know? There was a secret in the East-Most Peninsula where a Slightly Younger Man was selling them. That’s mighty convenient.

Wait, why would Ganon disassemble the Triforce of Wisdom again? That was all he was after in the first pla--

Let us not ponder on the nature of evil.

Chapter Two:
In Which Old Men are Jerks



Now wielding sufficient protection, teleportation and a whiter, brighter sword, The Dude opts to travel forth and gets himself another handy traveling device: The Power Bracelet. Luckily, the Bracelets location is also unchanged from its original spot. Much like the Whistle, the Power Bracelet has another possibly new feature. It can move other things besides the entrances Underground Staircases, specifically…



…this Grave, which contains another Heart Container.



Feeling rife with self loathing, The Dude decides to pay Level 6 a visit. Just to see if it’s as hellish as he remembers.



It seems to be anything but. Level 6 is not a small cave with a frightened Moblin, offering 30 Rupee’s in exchange for not killing him. The Dude complies.


As previously noted, The Whistle opens hidden paths now. This one is yet another Heart. And it’s rather well defended by a field full of Peahats and Lynels. The Dude makes a mad dash for the cave and makes his circulatory system that much more efficient.




And here is Level 4, carefully hidden near, but not in, Level 5 from the First Quest. The Dude enters here as it has some nice items inside it. Based on how Levels 2 and 1 were pretty much straight line to the item, The Dude isn’t expecting much resistance.



Honestly, The Dude really should watch the hubris. It never does him any good.

After smashing some giant Land-Urchin with a Crab Hammer of Justice, The Dude advances…



…and walks straight into a Nightmare. Luckily, as is often the case with the Second Quest, the door into the rest of the dungeon is open. The Dude skips this room and soldiers forth, bravely full of terror.



Luckily, the next room is just an Aquamentus for a mid-boss. With the Not Wood sword, the beast falls rather quickly.

And just past the Dragon is the first of two Dungeon Items, and the only one that The Dude can safely get. No bonus functions for the Book this time, it’s still just an upgrade for the Wand, obtained several dungeons before the Wand. Neat.

The Dude runs for the exit for the dungeon, as this is about all he can do right now. “Runs” is a polite way of saying “Gets killed and uses the continue screen to exit”.




Where Level 2 once was, there is now a lake. With a triumphant toot, that same lake dries up and the entrance to Level 3 is discovered. Apparently demolishing and flooding an entire cavern took a lot out of Ganons design team, as the interior contains the simplest dungeon in Hyrules history. It’s an almost perfectly straight run from entrance to exit.



Here being where the “Almost” comes into play, as the Boss is on the only side room in the dungeon. A Heap of Dodongos such as this can be a bit of a trouble to deal with when your Bomb Pocket tops off at 8, as it only gives you three chances to miss without making the fight impossible to win.



Luckily, The Dude manages to pull it off only wasting one Bomb, and picking up a new Heart. The Dude decides to go forth and explore the rest of the dungeon before getting the Triforce.



Though you can’t much tell from this scree- illustration of his heroic deeds, This species of Rope flickers with diabolical intent. As is the want of the creatures of Hyrule, color is directly proportionate to its power, and this variety is twice as fast as the Yellow, and twice as powerful as well, changing them from harmless serpents to rather less harmless serpents.



Unfortunately, The Dude hits a dead end, as there is a hungry Goriya blocking his way. Apparently this Goriyas hunger also makes him indestructible. And he has Pet Fire that will try to kill The Dude if he tries to force his way past. Since The Dude has no meat, he decides to leave the dungeon for now.



He may have no Meat, but The Dude has enough money to buy a Magic Shield. Take THAT, most monsters that shoot Lasers, Magic and/or Fireballs!



Armed with far better defense and weaponry then before, The Dude travels back to Level 2, to grab the Heart, Triforce Piece and smash some monster face. Two Monster Faces, actually as The Boss is our good pal Gleeok. Just a Two-Headed variety though. With fleet footed precision, The Dude dances around Gleeoks flames and surprisingly mobile decapitated heads and crushes him without taking more then a single hearts worth of damage. Oh, The Dude is good. He’s damn good.


And here is the payoff, another piece of the Triforce is obtained, causing that Triangle to be one quarter complete. Neat.

Is the Second Quest just more confusing, or are you dying a lot more this time around as well? I never got really far in my past attemps, but it looks like you're breezing through quite nicely.

Prime, this is madness. Better you than me though. Actually, definitely better you than me. You actually seem really good at Zelda. Which is a weird thing to say.

It's MUCH harder at the beginning, since they're throwing everything they have at you. Once you get some decent equipment calm down quite a bit. And with the Magic Sword things get easier still.

Gamefaqs was very helpfull too.

That said, Level 7 in the Second Quest may overtake Level 6 from the first for being the worst thing ever.

Madness? THIS. IS. THE SECOND QUEST!

Seeing this thread appear made me yelp with glee. At last a new LP I can really appreciate (no offense to the other current LPs).

I really love these LPs, Prime. After this, would you consider trying the "Third Quest" that was built into Zelda Classic? You can skip to it without having to replay the first two by naming your save ALPHA.

This is the first I've heard of this Third Quest. The prospect... frightens me on a deep, fundamental level.

I may opt for something besides Zelda next though.

Zelda Classic has lots of ... interesting quests you can download, from the sublime to the truly unplayable. One of my favorites actually ran as a side scroller without a jump. Very strange stuff.

I want to see someone do a challenge-run of Zelda 2. Maybe a no-grinding run? How low a level can that game be beaten on? I've never done it without being maxed out.

But I'm in no hurry to get to the next thing as I'm enjoying the crap out of this one.

I played a Mega Man mod of Zelda Classic. Besides being terrific, it had a real Links Awakening-type vibe. I was deeply impressed and gave it a perfect rating.

Though that was several years ago, and my opinion may have changed.

Apparantly, Zelda 2 can be beaten at Level 1, it's just really, really, really hard. Similarly, Zelda 1 can almost be beaten without a sword. I don't think you can actually save Zelda without a sword, but everything else is doable.

To the best of my knowledge, you can do everything up to damaging Ganon without a sword. He only takes damage from the Master-, er, Magic Sword.

Though it would be a huge pain to try to kill every Darknut guarding a door with bombs. I think I tried to get to the not-wood sword without picking up the wooden, but found it too frustrating to stick with.

It is.

Here's a tip for future Dodongo fights: Instead of feeding them bombs directly, try to time it so the bomb goes off in their face. Since Dodongo dislikes smoke, it somehow freezes the monster long enough for you to stab it with your sword. The best part is that they always drop bombs if you kill them this way.

I've had times where I entered a dodongo pit without enough bombs and tried this method, and ended up not killing anything at all, meaning I didn't even have a chance of getting more bombs. It's a neat trick, but I've never had the timing to do it on purpose.

Spoiler Alert!

I think I mention this in one of the next updates. But will it be the next one, or the one after that?

Stay Tuned, True Believers!

Octopus Prime, you are officially my favorite human being ever to exist. Just thought you ought to know.

Chapter Three:
In Which The Previous Chapter Heading Should Have Gone Here

The Dude returns to Level 4, as he possesses a larger life bar then ever before.



In one of the unexplored rooms, The Dude encounters the LEAST helpful old man ever. At least the ones who charge you for demolishing their home have some justification for doing so. Also, they are out of the way enough that you may well not encounter any. This Old Bastard simply demands either 50 Rupee’s or a Heart Container. Since Hearts are way, WAY too important in his Second Quest, and Rupee’s are somewhat plentiful, The Dude opts for the less recklessly stupid option.



The Dungeon Boss is another Digdogger. Since The Dude fought and killed one just inside the entrance, he isn’t terribly concerned, as he has yet to encounter a giant Sea-Urchin that couldn’t stand up to the power… of ROCK! Unfortunately, Flutes are not especially conducive for Rock and Roll, so this just splits the monster into three copies. Still, it’s something.



Here is the next Triforce Piece, but The Dude has other plans then picking it up. That northern wall looks somewhat… insubstantial.



And now we know why. Yes, the Dungeon Item is hidden past the Triforce shard. That’s pretty sneaky there, Mr. Ganon. A few well placed Bombs and…


We have ourselves a Raft. No more useful then before, no less. It opens the path to Level 5 and another Heart.



And heck, we’re here anyway. Might as well do what we objectively came in for.




Next up is the REAL Level 6. It, too, is hidden under the watchful guard of requiring a Whistle Blast to open. Also, like several others, the Dungeon Item is hidden near the entrance and the path is full of open doors.



And heeeeere we are. The Last Dungeon Item that is required to fully explore the world. The Dude uses it to get the last Heart Container that doesn’t require monster slaughter.



Having Mastered Using his Not Wooden Sword, The Dude follows his Heart, Nose, and… map and heads to the Top of the World, and uses his mighty muscles to brush aside a boulder.

“Well, that Rocked,” declares The Dude to nobody in particular, “I Guess I’m a bit Boulder for it though.”

The Wizened old man looks up, and mutters something beneath his breath, and speaks slow and clear.
“Did… did you master using it”?
“You mean the Not-Wood Sword?” asks The Dude.
“I’m not overly concerned with what, exactly, you mastered. I’m just supposed to give one of the worlds deadliest weapons to the first person who Masters using It.”
“Well, then yes. I totally mastered Using It.”
“Prove it” challenges the Old Man.
“Well…,” starts The Dude, “I managed to find twelve Hearts. And I stabbed monsters a whole bunch.”
“Good enough, here”



The Dude holds his new weapon aloft, courage and power coursing through his veins. He is one of the deadliest people in the world now. Even the greatest and most terrible monsters are like the buzzing of flies to him.

“Well,” says The Dude,”Might as well go and forge the rest of that Triangle now”.
“Whatever,” says the Old Man, not really paying attention, “just make sure close the door behind you, would you? You’re letting the heat out.”
“You mean bury you alive?”
“Yes”




Not having any other pressing engagements, The Dude saunters into the Hallowed Halls of Level 5, located right about where Level 4 used to be. Level 5s item is the Bow, which would be more useful if The Dude had some arrows, but beggars can’t be choosers.


Unfortunately, besides a relatively useless item, Level 5 is also the home of The Dudes good friends, the Wizzrobe. Possibly Red Bubbles as well, but possibly not. The narrator can’t recall if it was them or the kaleidoscopic kind, either way, not really the best thing to try to dodge when dealing with massively powerful demon wizards.


The Mid-boss is a Blue Gohma, which, again, would be easier to handle had The Dude some arrows, and possibly a bow with which to shoot them. Luckily, again, there is no lock on the door, and The Dude scampers off ignoring the crustacean.



Hey, here’s that oft mentioned Bow. Perhaps not the most used particularly often in his quest, but The Dude just can’t stand a hole in his inventory.

While, technically, he DID get what he came in for, The Dude decides to see who is in charge of this dungeon, and perhaps negotiate for the precious MacGuffin that holds the world in the balance.

Or stab its face until it dies and steal it, whichever.



Conveniently, the Dungeon Boss has numerous faces to stab off. Since he now has the Magic Sword, defeating Gleeok is a bit easier then before. And only having a mere 3 Heads doesn’t do much to make it more dangerous.



And here we are, another triangle gotten and the world is a little safer then before.

If I remember right, the second quest ONLY has the red/blue bubbles, and none of the relatively friendly flashy ones that only take you sword away for a few seconds. Which is a big reason why I hate the second quest with a passion that burns (BURNS!) like a thousand fires. Better you than me.

The kaleidoscopic nightmare bubbles do exist in the second quest, but the sheer ire caused by the Red ones kind of makes you forget their relatively benign companions.

What a freaky, weird thing this second quest is. Everything you know is wrong! And I've never even played The Legend of Zelda.

Octoprime, I think you owe it to us to find out what happens if you give hearts to three of those "MONEY OR LIFE" guys without having gotten any extra hearts. Like is three the minimum, or what?

You should do this for science.

And then beat the game with that minimum.

And then nail your dick to a board.

Too much?

Well, I was looking for some more post-game content to add, I suppose I could at least try.

You, sir, are a jerk.

I am much more inclined to do this then what Papillion said.