Tecmo Super JRPG! Let's Play Secret of the Stars! Blind!

Of course there's a bunny girl at the pub. Oh, Japan.



I'm JBEAR! My dad was a famous aquamancer or whatever and I'm on my way to--



Well I never.



This guy knows what's up.

YOUR FATHER WAS A PROUD AND BRAVE MAN INDEED. SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, YOUR FATHER RESTS IN PEACE. IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT THE FINAL RESTING PLACE OF SUCH A GREAT MAN REMAINS UNDISCOVERED.

Maybe he's been interred at this mysterious lost cemetery?



Okay!



Peacing out of the pub immediately pays off as we find 50 Gold in the next house.



Cranky and not sleeping well, apparently.



Ah, so apparently we're adopted.



I guess these must be our feuding cats? They certainly don't seem "homeless", though.



So this cat is talking to us.



That just happened. The transformation was accompanied by a weird musical sting and the sound of an explosion.

Is... is this a boss fight?



The battle speed is still set to 0 after my earlier experimentation, so the first turn zooms by so fast that I'm unable to get shots of any damage numbers.



I immediately fix it, and note that our HP is now 6 below max, which suggests that this is indeed a boss fight. I sure hope that we're not expected to have reached level 2 already or to have purchased any new gear at the shop.



Yup, that stings alright. This cat isn't playing around. I sure could use a nice protective hat right about now!



At least we can give as good as we're getting.



A couple of rounds later and our HP is starting to look pretty dire.



CAT BOO has consistently been acting before us, so I preemptively queue up a healing item now for fear that waiting any longer will be too late.



Sure enough, we're immediately reduced to 4 HP.



Let's hope that these fruits are as delicious as advertised.



That'll do nicely! Potent stuff, these plum-plums. No wonder the game is so excited when we obtain any of them.



A couple of rounds later and CAT BOO goes down for the count.



It gives us a hefty sum of EP, immediately bringing up to level 2, which plays a fun little ditty. I love level-up fanfares.



Aw, gee, that's nice of you to say. Maybe you're not such a bad cat after all.

(An ellipsis followed by an exclamation mark always makes me nostalgic for Vandal Hearts.)



To file away for later: level-ups do not restore HP.



Fortunately, there's a convenient empty bed nearby!

It seems increasingly clear that any bed in this game represents a potential full heal. I'm into it (literally).



Our little surprise altercation has motivated me to stock up on some emergency supplies, just in case we knead it.



An escape rope also seems like a pretty wise investment, for when we find that cave that was mentioned.

"I will buy a Normal Hat" says Jbear, heading to the clothes store.

"It will make me tougher from poison!"

We've fully exhausted our options in town (and the lady who asked us about the cats didn't have anything new to say), so I guess it's time to look around the island again? Maybe there'll be a cave visible that was hidden earlier.



Early signs point to "no", however.



A pair of Slimes drop another plum-plum to replace the one that we ate earlier.



There still don't seem to be any caves in evidence.



Oh hey, a new enemy! Is... is this literally just the Dragon Quest bestiary?



In any case, it goes down like a chump before even getting to attack. Note that the "AUTO" here means that I've started using the auto-battle function.



We get our first dodge here, and the dodging animation is delightful.



Well, this is a problem. Where is this cave? Or the haunted cemetary? How do we test drive the Jeep Volcano?



Hey, some new foes!



They hit slightly harder than Slimes, and can even live through one of our attacks!



A second round is enough to finish one of them off, though.



And the remaining one immediately runs away when it sees us kill his bro!



Whelp, I'm out of ideas. We've been playing this game for all of 20 minutes and I am already hopelessly lost. I guess we'd better go talk to everyone in town again and see if they have anything new to say? Maybe we missed something?

The cat came back! The very next day!



It seems to just be a normal cat now, though.

Not pictured: I spend another 5-10 minutes talking to everyone in town again, and don't find anything else new.



Back on the homestead, we have a chance to score another free plum-plum. Hell yes we want one.



"I'm not made of plum-plums!"

(FYI, going forward, please assume that any quotes not in ALL-CAPS are me versus actual dialogue.)

Well, it looks like there's nothing for it: time to scour ever inch of this tiny island.





Still nothing. I'm starting to get a little frustrated! Note that these mountains are impassible terrain.



While we're stumbling around, some more pig men bring us to level 3.



Note: enemies can come in threes.



All of these random battles have started to take their toll, but it's nothing that can't be cursed by BREAD, which also seems to be a full heal. No wonder everyone is baking their own these days!

As if sensing my frustration, the game decides to pit us against some blue hedgehogs.



I'm sorry, Sonic!



I have literally bumped up against every square of this mountain.



A single level-up has apparently rendered the pig men trivial, as they are now only hitting us for one, and we're now able to take them out in a single swing.



I guess our stats at level 3 are indeed a fair bit higher than they were when we last checked. Notably, our speed has almost doubled!



We're literally walking in circles at this point. The game has barely begun and I'm already stuck.

I'm starting to get desperate at this point, and it occurs to me that perhaps the RAT TAIL description is poorly translated, so I just try rubbing it up against everything in hopes that a cave falls out, where everything includes...



Volcanoes...



Cats...



Wells...




!



...



Well, I figured out how to waste a rat tail.

Interestingly, I buy a replacement tail and try this in town, but find out that you can't teleport out of towns, which suggests that home is not a town. I have no idea if this means anything or not, but I'm grasping at straws at this point.

Not pictured: I run around town and the homestead talking to everyone again and poke around behind tress and houses and the edges of the maps in search of secrets that we may have missed.



Time to poke every pieces of scenery again! I must be missing something obvious, right?

I'm honestly starting to get pretty discouraged at this point. Guys, I think this LP might be cancelled. I can't find the first dungeon.



Running seems to work pretty well, so I start doing a lot of that to save time and for fear that we're getting over-leveled.



Several encounters later and running away has yet to fail. If only our search could be so successful.



Oh hey, we finally failed to run.



I'm still gonna, though.



Wait a minute, I thought these mountains were impassable...



!



Holy shit, you guys, we found it! Total time spent hopelessly lost: ~one hour. This does not bode well.

I guess I failed to bump up against the single correct square of terrain in my earlier efforts. A visible cave mouth would have been nice!



The music is appropriately cave-y. I've not looked for music for this game online, but I'm confident that someone has called this piece "Cave 1".



The encounters in here seem no different from those outside. The cave battle background is nifty, though. There's some nice level of detail in those stalagmites and stalactites.



Note that this is one of those games where it is entirely possible to have encounters on two consecutive squares, although overall I would describe the encounter rate as pretty reasonable, so this is the first time that I've noticed it happen.



This pair of hedgehogs bumps us up to level 4.

I'm sure that at some point I'll stop finding "LATER" funny, but it hasn't happened yet!



The passage is pretty short, and quickly brings up to this mysterious room.



There seems to be some sort of plate on the ground. Let's step on it!



Later!

(If I'd been thinking instead of playing, this probably would have been a good point to end the update. Alas.)

We seem to be alone in a misty void.



Oh hey. 'sup?

Are you God?

Are we dead?



Kind of buried the lede there, huh dad?



Y'know, my father wanted me to grow up to become a hunter and hockey player. Ask him how well that turned out for him.



But doctor, I am JBEAR!



Alright, bye, I guess?



And we're back, just as suddenly as we left. That was weird!



Oh, but what's this?






Ow, my bones and organs!






O... kay? Is that good?

UNCLE SAVE!! I love it.

Oh, hey, it's George of Costanza.



Finally.



EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE "PENNON", YOU ARE STILL A KID. WHENEVER YOU GET INTO TROUBLE, FEEL FREE TO CALL US FOR HELP AT ANYTIME. WE KUSTERA CAN SWITCH AND FIGHT FOR YOU AT ANYTIME. FIRST, GO DESTROY THE HOMNCRUSE FOLLOWER WHO LIVES IN JEEP VOLCANO. JEEP VOLCANO HAS AN ENTRANCE IN THE NEARBY MOUNTAIN. LET'S FIGHT TOGETHER UNTIL WE DESTROY HOMNCRUSE.



A second party member! Hooray! And a fun little jingle too! Party joining fanfares might be my second-favourite JRPG music after level-up farefares.



Um?

Folks, David seems to have immediately turned into a tent for some reason.

I can't even make this shit up. What is happening?



Oh, what? Wacky. After futzing around in the menu a bit, I quickly discover that selecting "SWAP" from the menu gives us control of David and puts JBEAR in a tent instead. Apparently we can switch back and forth between them at will, but they're not a party.



Holy shit, David is loaded.



And his gear seems pretty swank too!

Note that we can rename David. Feel free to suggest or vote on something! I suppose I could start using the names of other tyrants, in keeping with the theme.



Our new toy doesn't seem to do anything.



I poke at the crest on the wall to the North and discover that it is in fact a door.



Well that's not ominous.



It looks pretty similar to the previous room, but it seems that this floor plate and door are both submerged and thus inoperable? I think?



I try using the crest on both but no dice.

Someone remind me to come back here later, I guess.



As we head back to the previous room, a quick jingle implies that this floor plate healed us.



Sure enough, we're now back at full HP... and MP!? When did that happen?



Apparently we can cast HEAL now. I guess a PENNON is something like a Paladin, maybe?



I spend a fair bit of time futzing around in the menu trying to find some way to form a party but come away frustrated.



Well, let's take David out for a spin.



His battle sprite is buff, and so are his attacks.

HOMNCRUSE is a beautifully terrible name for a JRPG villain.

He's my favorite character.

Are we really going to have to march out of this cave one person at a time? I must be missing something.



While screwing around in the menu I notice that we can sort characters into lists of five so clearly the game supports parties.



Either the overwold music has changed, or David has his own theme. I'm excited to find out which!



JBEAR has the old music, so apparently different characters do indeed have different overworld music. Neat! David's theme is pretty good; I think I prefer it.



JBEAR heads back to town and then we swap over the David to have him do the same.



Wait, is this a third tent?



After some experimentation, I figure out that when you SWAP in town while another character is outside of town, it drops the inactive character back to the entry point.



As you might expect, many of the folks around town have different things to say to David, although far from all.



Notably, everyone in the pub has different things to say when an adult enters the room.



Pretty good, but I'd be better if I could figure out how to form an adventuring party!



I've had Japanese plum wine, or umeshu. It's delicious!

Huh... I wonder if "PLUM-PLUM" is how they're translating ume?



...Doesn't David live here? He owns a house. We're standing next to it.



Well, at least the neighbours seem to know Dave. Maybe he came by to borrow sugar.



"Destroyed"? Jeez. They weren't just killed, they were destroyed. That's pretty hardcore, Homncruse!



Listen, JBEAR can take care of himself just fine!

*camera cuts to show me writing this update at 4AM on a work night, unshaven and exhausted*



This would seem to confirm earlier speculation that Nash here exists solely to point JBEAR in David's direction.



My final hope is that Uncle Save here will provide a way to consolidate us into a untied fighting force.



Alas, hope is dead.

The hippie commune where JBEAR grew up doesn't have much to say to David.



Mom really is tired-- we are reaching Vandal Hearts levels of ellipsis use here.



Now seems like a good time to do some shopping. We could afford a couple of armour upgrades here...



...but the best defense is a good offense, and we can just barely afford the best weapon in the shop.



Oh, hey, this is unexpectedly kind of the UI: it shows us our before and after stats when we prepare to equip our new weapon.

Honestly, this sword is a disappointingly mild upgrade. Oh well.



It is at this point that I notice that we have a class now! It says "PENNON" in the top-right. I think it said nothing there before? Presumably this updated after we had our chat with Dad and learned how to HEAL.

FYI, it says "WARRIOR" for David.



As is JRPG standard, our old gear sells for half of its purchase price.



I am pleased to report that the game will not let us sell our way into what would likely be an unwinnable game state.



Unfortunately, we're 10 G short of a new hat, and I have no intention of grinding for one, so I guess we'll just have to make do.



David, meanwhile, is also hatless, and 500 G can buy many hats.



It's only a two-point upgrade, so I won't lose any sleep over JBEAR missing out.



Since David has more money than he knows what to do with and I can't figure out any way to shuffle gold or items between characters, we stock up on consumables.



Before we set out again, an experiment occurs to me.



What if we try to SORT and/or SWAP while the characters are standing on top of each other?



Alas, I am again met with failure. I guess we're heading into the next dungeon with two solo teams.



That's assuming that we can even find the next dungeon, but David's directions seemed pretty clearly to be pointing us towards this other set of mountains.

Success! Well that was much easier.

In reviewing this update, I'm pretty sure that I bumped up against this exact tile previously and it didn't let me in, although it's possible that I fat-fingered the D pad.

Also, I suspect that the previous cave we were in was the lost "cemetery" haunted by ghosts that was mentioned in town. Perhaps it was a misleading translation of tomb or some-such.



However, I'm immediately led to wonder if the final identical mountain range has an entrance in the same place. A quick swap to David confirms that this is not the case.



This new cave has different spooky music.



It also has a magnificent beard.



JUST PAST THIS VOLCANO IS THE LEGENDARY GATEWAY. THERE ARE 2 COLORS THERE, AND ONLY A CHOSEN ONE CAN OPEN IT... ARE YOU THAT CHOSEN ONE?

I mean, probably, but after how long it took us to find the previous cave, I'm not so sure.



! Holy shit, it's Santa!



Later, Santa! We have to go open a magic volcano gate or whatever.



This volcano has a lot of ladders. Who put these here?



"BAD SLIME"

Bad Slime is, ironically, a very good name for a slime.



It dies in one hit like all of the other slimes.



I guess this is the legendary light gate? It won't open, so I guess we're not the chosen one after all. That's a real load off my mind!



False alarm: apparently there are several light gates, in two different colours. JBEAR here can only open the yellow gates. Maybe David can open the green ones?



! A chest! Well we're definitely going back for that.



GOT KNIFE!!



As we climb towards this chest, the screen shakes ominously.

This rat-tail is a rather nice get out of jail free card for anyone who didn't have the foresight to bring one here with them already. That said, since we did have that foresight, I'm not sure this was worth going back for.

Note another green gate above us there, which blocks off a tiny platform with a chest.



Bats are new, but otherwise unremarkable. Killing this first trio brings us to level 5.



"Congratulations on reaching level 5! Please accept this complimentary coma."

Presumably it's a Sleep spell?



Hrm, it doesn't show up on our MAG screen...



But an investigation of our STAT screen turns up a second page that you can access by pressing the confirm button while the first page is visible. Those little coloured dots imply that we'll likely be able to level up our spells and cast them at higher levels later.

Also, we've apparently known FIRE all along! Perhaps a PENNON is not a Paladin after all.

It's time for David to hike his way in to join us and see if he can open up the other gates or not.



He immediately bumps off a pair of slimes and reaches level 2.



Apparently Bats are also in the cave encounter table.



Sure enough, David can access the green gates, which nets him this 50 Gold that he can neither meaningfully spend nor funnel to JBEAR.



Yikes! It looks like these slimes are bad after all!

Hey, wait-a-minute. Isn't David wearing a HARDSUIT? The shopkeeper explained that that's supposed to be "TOUGH FROM POISON"! Well, whatever that means, it's evidently not immunity.



I have no idea what our health was at before the poison damage ticked, but I think it was pretty high, so we're taking care of this right away.



It's a good thing that we came prepared!



I'm sure David's parents will be thrilled. Maybe it's not too late to marry him off after all.



Fortunately, the HP loss is nothing that some bread can't fix.

(Incidentally, I'm very disappointed that we never got any bread to drop as a battle reward, because the "bread winner" joke writes itself.)



Chosen one power in action!



The legendary gate that can only be opened by the chosen one led us to the same fruit that some guy standing outside my house is giving away for free.



David goes to sleep in disappointment while JBEAR walks over to appreciate the back-ground scenery. It's very reminiscent of the mountain backgrounds from FFIV.



Since we now know that we may well need these, this is a welcome find.



As JBEAR climbs towards this cave entrance, there's another tremor.



Now that JBEAR has reached a new area, let's see if there's any route for David to join him there.



There is not. I guess we're on our own for the rest of this dungeon!

If nothing else, these coloured gates reassure me that we're not missing some way to form a combined party. This swapping mechanic is clearly intended. Maybe we'll be seeing some FFVI-style multi-party puzzles later?

The next area features a lot of ladders and these good soft bois.



Yet another quake greets us as we prepare to exit the area. They seems to be coming closer together now. I'm sure this is fine.

(This section was otherwise unremarkable.)



Well this looks new.



There don't seem to be any random encounters near the mouth of the volcano, but it sure looks neat at least. I like the contrast of the lava with the greenery in the distance.

Here, have a GIF:



Hypnotic.



My boss sense is tingling, so I decide to stop for a snack, just in case. We could try out our HEAL spell for the first time, but we have plums to spare, so let's save our MP for FIREs and COMAs.



We're climbing down into a live volcano. This seems like a great idea.



It's a long climb down to the bottom, and the music kicks into high gear as we descend.



We'd better save all of this loot before it melts.



Oh shit-- we're boned.



We've finally found a random encounter with an enemy who can put up a fight, standing up to one of our swings and moderately damaging us in reprisal.



Don't worry man, listen-- it happens to everyone.



The rewards are really starting to add up.



We toss this in the pile, but I don't get the feeling that much will be poisoning us down here in the volcano dungeon.



So I guess this cat is just a regular enemy now.



He goes down with much less fuss this time.



One chest for now, and one chest for later.



We've found a hatbox.

Sometimes being cheap and lazy pays off!



Oh my goodness, look at these very good Goblins. They are more mouth than Goblin.



They too can stand up to a punch, and hit reasonably hard given that we're fighting two of them at once.



Finishing them off is a big pay-day, though!



As we make our way around this lava lake, another Cat Boo bumps us up to level 6.



Whelp, we've officially reached the limits of plum-plum technology.



We find the path forward, but we're obviously looting that chest first.



This seems like a good opportunity to try out a COMA.



Comas are OK.



Yeah, that sounds about right. Apparently this is one of those kinds of RPGs.

I'll try to remember to try this again in a later encounter to see if I just got unlucky, but I'm not holding my breath here.



Volcano bread... is that just toast?



In any event, bread too (toasted or not) is now insufficient to heal us fully. It looks to be about as effective as plum-plums.



Another duo of Goblins seems like a fine opportunity to try out FIRE.



Well, that was an impressive show, but it did less damage than our normal attack typically does.



Note to self: enemies can crit. Looks like double damage?



We're not in Kansas anymore.

A scientist in a volcano base? I know a boss fight when I see one, so let's have another plum to heal up to full HP.



As it turns out, I needn't have bothered, because this guy is perfectly content to watch me take a nap in his bed. This game continues to surprise me with how nice it is to the player.



Apparently we've been expected.



No, I don't think we'll be letting that happen.



Note: apparently we live on Heart Island.



What a great sprite! I love his little claw and cane. And check out that moustache!



He hits about as hard as a Goblin.



We, on the other hand, hit significantly harder than a Goblin, so this being reduced to 15 HP of damage speaks to the good doctor here having some hefty defense.



Perhaps some magic will fare better?



Don't worry, old man. It happens to all of us, especially as we get older. It's nothing to be ashamed of.



The gas attack doesn't hit any harder than his regular attack. Presumbly it has a chance to poison us? Let's hope that we don'r regret not picking up a HARDSUIT back in town.



That's more like it! Fire! I'm a fan!



Well that one was disappointing. Maybe magic is just highly variable in this game? More data is needed.



Ow! He evidently lit the gas on fire! I take back my fire fandom!

We spend a few more turns trading blows and then this happens:



He just hops in place. It's adorable.



We're down low enough that I decide that a healing plum is in order.



It seems like item healing has a bit of variance as well.



A few rounds later and Dr. Gari hits the floor.



That's a big chunk of EP!



We learned how to run away.



Dr. Gari starts to crawl away. JBEAR, maybe don't let him do that?

You'll have to forgive him-- he's young and not very genre savvy.



"I FLIPPED THE EXPLOSION SWITCH!"

I can't wait for the T-shirt sales to start rolling in.



Well this sounds bad.



And with that, he slumps over dead.



The room begins to shake, but I'm not worried. I mean, how bad could this explosion really be?



Holy shit, fuck us, we are super, duper dead. Wow.






Well that was a short game. I hope everyone had fun reading along!

Impossibly, we don't seem to actually be dead.



And neither is David.



Not nearly as with it as you, cool guy with sunglasses.



How!? We were at the bottom of an exploding volcano. We exploded. Many times over!



There's that verb again. Given what just happened to us, I'm a believer.



Not only have I forgotten it already, I've already forgotten yours. You're dealing with a JBEAR here, after all.



I mean, he can't possibly do any worse than what we just endured, can he?



Pictured: the invincible hi-tech volcano biplane. I'm into it.



We're not in control, but we do a fly-by over some lovely scenery that I'm sure we'll eventually have the chance to visit.



Coming in for a landing!



Will do! We're already two-fifths of the way there!



...or not? Apparently Kustera is a title, not a name. Either that or David here has a big family!

I'm guessing that maybe we can SWAP between the Kustera but the Aqutallions can actually join our main party?



Ooo! Are we building a settlement? I love doing that in RPGs!



Whatever you say, cool glasses dude whose name I will never learn.

By the way, what's your deal, and where did you get a future-plane?



He peaces out without answering any of our questions while David heads inside.



I am so glad to see you, Uncle Save. This update is way over estimate and I really need to save and quit.



"BTW, everyone you ever knew and loved is dead, kthxbye!"



I mean, I don't see that we have an alternative?



We out!



And I'll see all of you next time on Let's Play Tecmo Secret of the Stars! Whew! Hopefully the next one will be shorter!

That was not at all how I expected this game to go in its opening hours.

This game is a sadistic cross between Breath of Fire and Phantasy Star, yes, married to a distinctly NES-esque graphical style. For all of that, it does a number of really interesting things.

Also, the RNG is extremely swingy as you've already noted.

FYI, half a dozen of us replied while you were posting the update.

The multi-party whatever-it-is is fascinating.

But probably not 4 times more effectively.

Choice of articles really makes all the difference here, doesn't it? "I've heard that he is an evil monster who is trying to rule our world" would tell you that things are more or less OK right now, but watch out for that Homncruse guy, or things will get a lot more un-OK.

But what this says--"I've heard that he is the evil monster who is trying to rule our world"--paints a subtly grimmer picture. Things are so bad, and evil monsters so abundant, that it's necessary to distinguish Homncruse as the particular evil monster who's trying to rule our world. The evil monsters trying to corrupt it, or destroy it, or turn it into vanilla pudding, are also bad, but we need to take life one evil monster at a time here on the hell world of Tecmo Secret of the Stars.

Is there anything worse and more of a waste than useless status effect spells?

I see that I was right...

There's no guarantee that we will remember that. Maybe you could make yourself a to-do list like the one in your Phantasy Star LP?

No joke, I think I want to play this now?

- Eddie

The graphical design, especially in the dungeons, is better than I remember. Reminds me a lot of FF4 (even though this came out two years later).

I wonder what Homncruse was supposed to be? I'm reminded of holmcross in Wild ARMS, which was apparently intended to be "homunculus".

I'm leaning towards it being an inexplicable mangling of Tom Cruise.

Close! According to the tagged SPC set the track is simply titled 'Caves'.

I'm loving the janky-yet-earnest localization.