LET'S STREAM SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION - The Subconscious Given Form

Hello ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Let's Stream Sonic Dreams Collection!

Sonic Dreams Collection was released as a free download in August of 2015 by a group of maverick super-hackers known only as "Arcane Kids". But they didn't make these games, they merely found them.

All footage for this LP was recorded live on My Hitbox Channel. In this case, It was also recorded well past midnight after a long day at work and then several additional hours of wrestling refrigerators in and out of apartments and pickup trucks. I would reccomend anyone who wishes to play this game to do so in a similarly sleep-deprived state because oh my god.

Yeah, it's one of those games.

YOUTUBE PLAYLIST

Yes.


Yes.

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION 01

MAKE MY SONIC
AKA: ORIGINAL THE CHARACTER, LIKE ANY SPIRIT GUIDE, TAKES MANY FORMS AND WILL ONLY APPEAR TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE TRULY READY
Starring Red Silvers & BEAT

We do some quick introductions, then I spend an inordinate amount of marveling at how changing the size of the game's window tangibly effects the title screen background music. Like if it's tiny it's super fast and if it's big it's super slow and it's so fucking cool you guys omg.

We then dive headfirst into the first of the four games, Make My Sonic from 1996. It allows you to create & pose your very own original character, and it is in this manner I am introduced to Divine the Immortal Hedgehog, who shall guide me through the challenges that await. I take some SEXXXY snapshots of his HOT BOD.

With my OC originally created and not stolen I venture into the second game, 1997's Eggman Origin, but are immediately rebuffed due to our lack of a proper SEGANET connection, as though SEGANET is a thing that somehow actually still exists.

Red Silvers: This is like what the internet was like in 1996. Everybody was making their own Sonic!
BEAT: Everyone is still making their own Sonic! I feel like I'm doing something wrong here. I should be arrested for this.

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION 02

SONIC MOVIE MAKER PART 1
AKA: IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL SOMEONE BLACKS OUT
Starring Red Silvers & BEAT

Refusing to let our rejection from Eggman Origin get us down, Red Silvers and I dive into the third game in the collection, Sonic Movie Maker from 1998. And man, get a load of this intro paragraph. Darker subplots? In a Sonic Game? Now that's just rediculous!

We dive into the first scene and- oh hey It's Divine the Immortal Hedgehog! we capture on camera a moment from his happy childhood, playing catch in the backyard with his dad! Well isn't that just adorable!

And now it's his Junior Prom? Man, they grow up so fast, don't they? Have fun at the dance you crazy kids!

NO NOT THAT KIND OF FUN OH GOD IS TAILS IS STILL BREATHING OH GOD

BEAT: Yes! Yes Sonic yes! God the camera loves you!
Red Silvers: Come on, we need more attitude!

I am so, so sad I missed this stream

I regret nothing!

BEAUTEUR

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION 03

SONIC MOVIE MAKER PART 2
AKA: WHAT IS EVEN WHY NO NO NO PLEASE I'M SCARED
Starring Red Silvers & BEAT

I couldn't choose between my ideas for how to do the writeup for this video, so I just did all three! For best results, please read them in a completely random order instead of just going from top to bottom.

VERSION 1.
VERSION 2.
VERSION 3.
Of course the reason I couldn't decide on a description is because the things on display here are fucking indescribable. Human language is insufficient to explain this and I think that might be by design. Just watch the video. You'll understand.

BEAT: I don't have words for this one Red Silvers. You have a lot of fucking explaining to do.
Red Silvers: But it all tells a story, like this is what happens after prom!
BEAT: I... Oh my god you're right. Oh my god.

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION BONUS

LIFE IN THE AGE OF FAST
AKA: INDIE FILM: THE MOVIE: THE FILM: THE GAME

In case you didn't know, Sonic Movie Maker really does create a movie file based on what the camcorder (which is NOT your viewscreen) records.

In fact in creates 6 of them!

So I turned them into a pretentious indie film.

You should have fed Sanic

My god. It's beautiful.

I wonder what other kind of monstrous narratives people have made with this technology.

The next David Lynch.

Original the Character has a bright future ahead of him.

Oh yeah I guess I should say that the image I used in spoilerpop 3 is from @SonicSezConfess, which is the secret best twitter account.

I found it amongst the responses when my own submission got tweeted, which was of course, this thing.



And because life is apparently weird and roundabout, that image also serves as a DELIBERATELY OBTUSE TEASER to the NEXT VIDEO, which somehow actually manages to maintain the level of madness (if not outright horror) seen in the last two!

This fucking game, you guys.

Knowing what's to come, this is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION 04

MY ROOMMATE SONIC
AKA: WITH LOVE, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. ANYTHING. ANYTHING AT ALL.
Starring Red Silvers & BEAT

With the grim task of Sonic movie making firmly behind us, Red and I move onto the last game in the compilation, 1999's My Roommate Sonic. The game was designed to be played with the Sega VR headset, but Sega's cowardice and complacency prevented them from ever releasing the potentially world-changing device, forcing this masterpiece to be hidden away until now.

We find ourselves sitting on the couch, watching TV with our roommate Sonic The Hedgehog. We've been in love with him for a long time now, but have always been too nervous to tell him how we really feel! Fortunately for us, our friend from across the street gives us some great tips on how to get past the awkwardness and take our relationship to the next levoh my god what is happeninG TO ME OH GOD MY HAND MAKE IT STOP OH GOD RESET RESET RE-

We find ourselves sitting on the couch, watching TV with our roommate Sonic The Hedgehog. We've been in love with him for a long time now, but have always been too nervous to tell him how we really feel! Fortunately for us, our friend from across the street gives us some great tips on how to get past the awkwardness and take our relationship to the next level! With his fantastic advice we soon find ourselves looking deep into Sonic's eyes getting closer and clo-

Wait I mean, looking deep into Sonic's… uh… eye?

BEAT: Please, please return to normal my mighty perfect hand. My ultrahand. The hand that-
Red Silvers: That realistic VR tho!
BEAT: No look at this thing! ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT!?
Red Silvers [laughing madly]: Ohhhoo my god!
BEAT: I AM NOW ENCOMPASSING THE ENTIRE ROOM! I AM EVERYWHERE AND I AM NOWHERE! I AM ALL THAT EVER WAS AND ALL THAT EVER WILL BE! GAZE UPON MY WORKS, YE MIGHTY, AND DESPAIR!

This LP might just be your masterpiece, BEAT.

NAH. HAHA WOW DAM CHARACTER LIMIT HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN F5F5FF MY OLD FRIEND.

EDIT: LOL IMGUR GIFMAKER

Basically all you need to know about this game right here.

"Sanic is the one who knocks"

oh no is everything I thought I knew about the series wrong? is "knock knock it's knuckles" all a lie?

And when you gaze long into an abyss sonic the abyss sonic also gazes into you.

Also, *screaming*

That was for real the first game I've ever wanted to play on occulus rift.

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION BONUS

SEGANET SETUP NIGHTMARE
AKA: MAYBE THIS WILL WORK MAYBE THIS WILL WORK MAYBE THIS WILL WORK MAYBE THIS
Starring Red Silvers & BEAT

So it turns out there IS a way to get into Eggman Origins, the game we skipped over wayyy back in the first video! All we need to do is set up the top secret, highly dangerous SEGANET Adapter to get to it.

If you know what you're doing, it's not even a thing!

And if you don't, It's a giant pain in the ass.

Red Silvers: Your default name was "Eggman the Immortal Hedgehog.
BEAT: Yeah well now he's Chibi Van Grift Sayin Preggo Lindsey Fem-Sparkle Prentis David Soul-Sparks Metal Van Sonia Super Soul Fate Golden Angeles Soul Metal Fox Dragon Daylight Fem Shadow Cheekix the Vocaloid Super-Adoptable Scourge.

I've never done drugs, but I'm guessing this is what a bad acid trip feels like.

SONIC DREAMS COLLECTION 05

EGGMAN ORIGIN
AKA: DELAYED ASCENSION
Starring Red Silvers & BEAT

Okay uh... Eggman Origin from 1997.

I only know that I know nothing.

Wait no, I know that the SEGANet window will just randomly start playing some old Spanish (or French?) song when left open but not selected after awhile just to fuck with you. I know that now! I didn't know it earlier. It would have been good to know that earlier, since It just starts playing after awhile and I had no idea where it was coming from or how to stop it.

But other than that, nothing.
BEAT: I wonder if this is what death is like.
Red Silvers: Could be!
BEAT: Like, death as one unworthy.

GIVE HIM THE WORM!

jesus that was ... a thing. That happened.

I am so happy right now.

Someone is writing a paper about this game right now. I really want to do the Sonic's Roomate segment with a VR helmet, I would just giggle for days.

Wow. I mean... I'm actually impressed by this. It's like a distilled playable version of all the Bewildering and Horrifying Sonic fanart ever created. And it has to have taken ages to put together.

Oh man. That walking animation...

And then that side-stepping animation... That is some uncanny valley shit there.

AND THAT SOMEONE

IS ME

Epilogue post forthcoming.

EDIT: But maybe not today because close lol.