Dealing with Dragons: Let's Play Dragon Age: Origins!

The dwarves' gorillaesque proportions are a little off-putting.

Can you put beards on your lady-dwarves?

Knowing Bioware's character creators, I should have seen that face coming. And yet I didn't. Bah, it's no "Ugly Shepard" at least.

Link to the video is broken for some reason? I had to take out a bunch of stuff to fix it.

Otherwise, looks like we're heading off for a good start. Good luck with all the info dumps.

I'd like to change my answers. All of them. Cheeks shouldn't do that.

Dragon Age's "minature Klingons" take on dwarves is very weird. All these backstabbing nobles and hierarchical castes are straight out of a decadent empire type of society, but the dwarves are just a single shattered citystate remnant that's about one barricade away from toothy darkspawn death. You wonder why they bother.

Sorry about that! I kept checking to see if it uploaded correctly, but I guess I also should have checked whether the link was okay or not. It should be fixed now.

Now everyone go watch the video so you can see Urist in motion. Try not to let her see you weep.

Given the origins of the popularity of Urist McDwarf in Dwarf Fortress canon (One Dwarf Against the World, wherein Urist is a mad Dwarf who kills anyone who lays eyes on her), it's fitting that her Dragon Age counterpart is an undoubtedly unpopular eyesore.

Sadly, no. It actually would have improved Urist's appearance if I could have.

Last time, on Dragon Age: Origins. Urist went out to enjoy a lovely festival in her honour, only to have her mood dampened by her older brother, Trian. Who apparently hates everything, but hates fun most of all.

But there's no reason why we should let that keep us down forever. Not when the Provings are on!



Proving Master:Have you come to watch these brave warriors do battle in your honor?
Urist: No, I've come to fight.
Proving Master: Your Highness, this Proving is in your honor...
Gorim: Then honor her by doing as she says. Lady Aeducan will fight in this Proving.
Urist: I will honor today's warriors by testing their skills.
Proving Master: Of course. It is well within your rights.

(Fun Thing #4 about the Dwarven Noble Origin: Being able to enter the Proving in your own honour, if you want to. If you want to watch, that's okay too. But Urist is more than a pretty face.)




Proving Master: Are you ready for your first match?
Urist: Of course.
Proving Master: Then let us begin!



Proving Master: Lady Aeducan will fight Aller Bemot, youngest son of Lord Bemot!



Urist "Babyface" Aeducan VS. Aller "The Hammer" Bemot

(At this point, I started to strongly suspect that Bioware expected people to roll Warrior for this Origin.)

After the battle, and after a round of ass-kissing for Urist, it's time for the next battle.




Urist "Babyface" Aeducan VS. Adal "Skippy" Helmi

Notice that even though Urist isn't supposed to be going in for the kill, she ends each battle covered in blood anyhow. Good thing this all in good fun, right?



Shouldn't this guy be out fighting darkspawn instead of dicking around in the Provings?

… Shouldn't everyone in this arena be out fighting darkspawn instead of dicking around in the Provings?!



Wow, what an astonishingly creepy thing to say.

Urist "Babyface" Aeducan VS. Ser "Dahmer" Blackstone

With the other contestants dead sleeping at her feet, Urist reaches the very last match of the Provings.

Proving Master: Lady Aeducan will fight Frandlin Ivo, second son of Lord Ivo!



Urist: May you be as stone.

(Close-up to note that Frandlin Ivo actually has a higher-tier armour loadout.)

Urist "Babyface" Aeducan VS. Frandlin "Name Brand" Ivo

After Frandlin Ivo falls, Urist is declared the winner of the Provings.



Proving Master: You've vanquished every warrior of note in today's Proving. The ceremonial helm commissioned by your father for today's winner is yours.
Urist: I'll wear it proudly.
Proving Master: Your glory honors every warrior here.

Urist can also have the Proving Master give the Proving Helm to Frandlin Ivo instead, for which he will praise her honor and generosity. But since it sells in the Market for 12 whole silver coins... Well... Maybe honor and generosity are overrated.

(By the way, if you're playing along at home, save before the Provings, because there's a glitch in at least one version of the game in which Gorim can sometimes be ejected from the party for the rest of the Origin. Not only will this make things a lot harder for you once the real fights start, this will make it impossible to complete a later quest.)

With nothing else to do at the Proving Grounds, Urist finally heads on home for her ceremonial feast, which is still going strong, despite the fact that she first spent the whole day shopping, and then fighting in a tournament. Such decadence!



Urist is now a commander, yet her second has absolutely no idea what the raid tomorrow is going to be like, where it's going to be, or who exactly is going on it with them. I'm starting to think that Trian might have a point about her attitude.

Actually, I'm starting to think that there might be a reason that the darkspawn are winning this war.

Talking to the King at the end of the throne room advances the plot, but first, Urist is called over to the feasting tables by a nearby Lord.



Lord Ronus Dace: Many thanks for your willingness to hear me out, my lady. I wish to speak to you of a manner most urgent.
Urist: Of course, Lord Dace.
Dace: There is a vote coming before the Assembly next week, and a word from you could go a long way towards helping our cause.
Urist: What cause?
Dace: The vote concerns the status of the so-called surface caste. Lost to the Stone, air-touched, and so forth. Centuries ago, narrow-minded men declared that any dwarf who left to live on the surface forfeited his caste, and his house if noble. That he was, in essence, no longer a dwarf. I wish only to remedy an injustice, to retie the bonds of anyone who can trace himself to one of the noble houses, wherever he may live. Please, agree to speak for this noble cause.
Urist: What do I get in return?
Dace: I keep my ears to the Stone, my lady. I hear many things, some of which could be a great help during your mission tomorrow. A little forewarning to help your forearming, if you know what I mean.
Urist: I want hard currency, not rumors.
Dace: Saving for a run for the Assembly? Never mind. If hard currency is what you wish, hard currency is what you will have. How does a hundred sovereigns sound?
Urist: Sounds good. What can I do?
Dace: When your father presents you to the noble houses, I will ask for your opinion on the matter. You have merely to say that you feel our surface brothers should be returned their noble rights. What could be more simple?

Well, it seems kind of sketchy, but MONEY MONEY MONEY. And nobody has to get hurt this time around, so it's okay.

Urist then decides to speak with the Grey Wardens, who are hovering insecurely around the punch bowl.



Duncan: It is an honor to meet you at last.
Urist: At last? Have you been waiting for me?
Duncan: Not as such, but your father never misses a chance to boast of your skill and bravery. He says you may be the quickest fighter in all of House Aeducan.
Urist: My father does me great honor.
Duncan: I have no doubt it is deserved.



Smooth segue into the sales pitch, Duncan.

Duncan: Even as the darkspawn weaken here in Orzammar, they are stirring on the surface. A Blight has begun. Soon the fight must go beyond the Deep Roads, lest the darkspawn threaten all the world.
Urist: I do not know as much as I should about the Grey Wardens.
Duncan: You know of our dedication to destroying the darkspawn, our frontline presence during a Blight. What else would you know?
Urist: Are there many of my people in the Grey Wardens?
Duncan: Over the centuries, many dwarves have made names for themselves in our order. These days, however, there are fewer dwarves and thus even fewer dwarven Grey Wardens. A pity, since Dwarven warriors have the most experience fighting darkspawn.
Urist: I am an Aeducan. Orzammar needs me here.

Look Duncan, you've already lost her, and we've already established that Dwarves have no shame.

Duncan: I wish you luck in the Deep Roads tomorrow. Show the darkspawn the might of your people.

Well, it's not as if Urist was seriously going to be allowed to join the Grey Wardens anyway. Even though you know it would drive Trian absolutely bonkers to know that his family's precious Dwarven honor was being sullied so.



Oh great, Lady Helmi is mad about something. The question is, is this about the “considered joining the Grey Wardens thing,” or about the “gutted her daughter like a fish” thing?

Helmi: Lord Dace is playing you false. Go ahead, be his puppet. Your first command will be marked by every major house turning their back on you.
Urist: If you have something to say, do so.
Helmi: If you are to play in the games of the Assembly, make sure you know the motivations of the players. Last spring, a guild from the Merchant caste invested heavily in an expedition with a guild from the surface. Lord Dace backed the merchant guild, pouring a great deal of money into the venture. The expedition was a disaster.
Urist: Lord Dace lost some money. And?
Helmi: Lord Dace lost a great deal of money and prestige. The surface guild has no way to repay the investment. But it does have several leading members who are descended from noble houses. House Helmi, Bemot... Aeducan.
Urist: If the surface dwellers returned to their noble houses...
Helmi: You begin to see the whole picture. Your house and mine would be forced to pay the surfacers' kin debts. It would be a great victory for Lord Dace.

Well... yes... but.... MONEY.

Urist: Standing up for the surfacers is the right thing to do.
Helmi: The surface caste gave up their noble ties willingly, generations ago. Will you humiliate your house and your father, for them?
Urist: I'll think about it.
Helmi: Well, don't think too long.

Okay, so Helmi eavesdropped on the conversation with Lord Dace well enough to know exactly what he asked Urist to do, yet doesn't have the brains to outbribe him, or at least call Urist out on being a cheap, bribe-accepting floozy? If it was just a matter of greed before, but it's a matter of principle now.

As Urist finally approaches the king's throne, she catches the tail end of a dispute between some nobles and the king.

Lord Bemot: My king, please reconsider. The trade contracts alone could bring great prosperity to our houses... Will we really turn our backs on our brothers and a potential fortune in cheap labor because of a political technicality?



Aeducan: There is more to life than monetary gains, my lords Bemot and Meino. The Assembly of Kal-Sharok will respect the rule of Orzammar, or they will rot and die alone, surrounded by enemies.
Bemot: Yes, my King.



Aeducan: Atrast vala, my sweet daughter. How fine you look in your grandmother's armour. I hear you were declared champion of the Provings! (Chuckles) I suppose you were never one to sit by when something exciting was going on. Are you ready to be presented to the heads of the noble houses?
Urist: Of course, Father.
Aeducan: So dutiful... Very well, let us begin.



Aeducan: We are here today so I may present to you my second eldest child. Blessed by the Stone and born of the blood that ran in the veins of the Paragon Aeducan.



Not Pictured: The young men of several noble houses diving under tables and vomiting all over themselves in horror.

Oh okay. What actually happens is this:



Aeducan: Lord Dace, head of House Dace, speak.



WHERE IS DUNCAN'S RIGHT HAND GOING?!

Dace: What does the commander prospect think is the proper place for these lost souls.
Urist: They are as we are and should have their rights returned.
Dace: Thank you, my lady. I am satisfied.



Aeducan: Not only does this recover access to some of our most important mines, but it also allows our honored guest Duncan, head of Ferelden's Grey Wardens, to strike far into the Deep Roads.



“If any of you want in on this, I have some recruitment forms right here. I'm serious. ”

King Aeducan then calls the Urist Meet'n'Greet to a close, and orders everyone to eat, drink, and be merry. But first, he asks Urist to go get Trian, because the party just doesn't start until T-DAWG is in the house!

On her way out the door, Urist goes to Lord Dace to collect her sweet, sweet, bribe money.



Dace: Blunt as ever, hmm? Very well, then. Here is a note of credit for the hundred sovereigns. The chamberlain at my estates will pay you after the battle tomorrow. Now, I must be off to prepare for tomorrow. Do excuse me.

What do we do with this Note of Credit, you ask?



SELL IT!

Well, some people are into the idea of living as if every day was going to be their last! And besides, just look at Lord Dace, wearing the clothing of a poor person. Do you think that miserable wretch even has 100 gold sovereigns? I sure don't!

But I suppose Urist should probably go and get Trian, or else the guests might start to feel a little too welcome.



OOH! Someone left his diary out where anyone could just walk in and casually glance at the latest few pages!

Well... Maybe Urist and Gorim were too harsh on Trian before. Sure, he's still an egotistical, elitist jerk, but he does seem to have some good points, deep down inside. Maybe he's just ragging on Urist because he's jealous over that whole Provings thing. I mean, I sure would be jealous if that happened to me, I'm sure we would all be a little bit jealous. Bizarrely referring to Urist only as “Sibling” while calling Bhelen by his name and gender must obviously be a symptom of that seething jealousy.

Speaking of Bhelen, he's probably did all of that irresponsible stuff to yank Trian's chain. Trian strikes me as the kind of guy who makes that sort of thing all too easy.



Trian: Shouldn't you be attending our king father?
Urist: Father wants to see you, Trian.
Trian: Of course he does. We must discuss strategy before tomorrow's battle. Bhelen, stay here and stroke the new commander's conceit if you like, but then get to bed.

Trian Status: Still a Dick. A Jealous Dick.




Urist: I agree.
Bhelen: And what I'm going to tell you next won't make you any more fond of him.
Urist: Is this something I want to hear?
Bhelen: Probably not, but you need to all the same.

Bhelen: I never thought his self-proclaimed honor would allow him to actually act on his jealousy. Big sister, Trian is going to try to kill you.
Urist: What?
Bhelen: I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't overheard him giving orders to his men. Trian's decided you're a threat to his taking the throne. Maybe he's right.
Urist: I'm not the heir, he is!
Bhelen: Trian's the named prince, but only the Assembly can proclaim a king. It would be unusual for the Assembly to ignore the king's choice, but it does happen.
Gorim: The founder of House Bemot became a Paragon and king in one move from the Assembly, and he was a commoner.
Bhelen: That was an extraordinary case. But at least a half-dozen times, the Assembly named a lesser family member- or even someone from another house- as king. Twice, it was a woman.
Urist: So Trian thinks the Assembly would prefer me?
Bhelen: Look at it from his perspective. You're more personable than he's ever been. You entered the Provings held in your own honor just for glory and to please the crowds. If you win glory against the Darkspawn tomorrow, it will only strengthen the case for you as the next heir. Trian fears Father will replace him on the spot. If not, the Assembly will surely turn against him when Father dies.



Bhelen: You're the elder. I'll follow your lead, as always.
Urist: Gorim, what do you say?



Gorim: Trian would be a terrible king, but no one wants to say it. He has just enough backing in the Assembly to make it ugly when your father dies, but not enough to become king. Killing him now makes your house stronger now and saves a great deal of bloodshed later.

I think that Gorim is starting to get addicted to this whole “deciding who lives and who dies” aspect of being second to royalty.

Besides, if Urist has Bhelen's backing, and Trian really is up to something, together they can probably find a way to thwart Trian's scheme without killing him. Actually, if they were to get proof of Trian's treachery and expose it to the Assembly, honor-obsessed Trian would die a thousand deaths, and Urist wouldn't have to get her hands dirty. If Trian is innocent, and is just being a dick, as always, Urist won't lose face for jumping the gun and killing the heir...

Urist: We'll wait. See what Trian does.
Bhelen: Very well, I'll keep my eyes open. I don't want to lose my dearest sister. I'm taking your place as Father's second, so I'll be at hand tomorrow. For now, try to get some sleep.



Fast forward to the next day, as the troops assemble for Operation: What the Hell Are We Doing Anyway?



Harrowmont:Those caverns are still infested by the worst of the darkspawn. We cannot risk our own troops in there.
Duncan: Understood, Lord Harrowmont. We should be able to sense the darkspawn and avoid them once the way is open.
Aeducan: May the Paragons favor you, and the Stone catch you if you fall.
Trian: Come men! Glory awaits!



Bhelen: Don't you think it looks a little... cowardly to allow these humans to take our place where the fighting is thickest?
Harrowmont: Are you questioning the battle plan?
Bhelen: Of course not. I'm sure your caution is for the glory of us all.
Aeducan: Enough, Bhelen. Take your men and make ready. Harrowmont and I need to have words with your sibling.
Bhelen: Good luck, my sister.

Does anyone else get the distinct feeling that Bhelen and Harrowmont don't like each other?



Aeducan: In the eastern Deep Roads, there is a secret door carved into the stone.
Harrrowmont: The door leads to a thaig abandoned long ago by your ancestors. The darkspawn have made it impossible to reach.
Aeducan: My father believed that the shield of the Paragon Aeducan remains in that thaig, under the stones of the central room. Reclaim the shield, and glory will be yours!
Urist: The Shield of Aeducan would be quite the find.

Hmm... Supposed Heir Trian gets sent to babysit the Grey Wardens, while Rookie Commander Urist gets sent on a quest for the lost treasure of the saviour of Orzammar. Both are important tasks, but there's no question about which one will impress the honor-and-glory obsessed peacocks of the Assembly the most. Maybe there's something to Bhelen's theory (and Trian's fears) about Urist's rise to power.

Also, apparently Bhelen made commander earlier than Urist did, despite being the youngest sibling, but we're still supposed to think that Urist is hot shit on the batttlefield?

Harrowmont: We've sent two scouts ahead to make sure the tunnels are cleared, so be careful. One of the scouts will meet you at the first crossroads you come to; the second will be further in. When you get to the door, use your signet ring to open it. Questions?
Urist: No. I'll be back shortly.
Harrowmont: The crossroads where you meet the first scout will be the rendezvous point. There, you can present the shield to the lords and demonstrate the strength of Aeducan!
Aeducan: May the ancestors watch over you, my child.

These people could fill a hundred years of silence by themselves. Each.

So Urist and Gorim traipse merrily down the darkspawn infested tunnels, fighting giant spiders and lesser darkspawn along the way (by the way, arachnophobes? You're welcome), until they reach the first crossroads, and the first of the scouts.



Ivo: We didn't expect any activity in these tunnels at all. Once I finished scouting the tunnels, I hid here to avoid the darkspawn. Most tunnels are dead ends. The one we want is swarming with these fiends. It's going to be a fight.
Urist: Weren't you at the Proving yesterday?
Ivo: I was, indeed. Would that I had been good enough to beat you. May today's battles bring us even more glory. I'll take the rear guard. Shall we move?

(If Urist had given the Proving Helm to Ivo, he will thank her for it during this conversation.)



The giant spiders don't scare me half as much as the unholy hybrids of dinosaur and leech do.

Eventually, after Urist obsessively checks every dead end along the way for treasure because of her own damage and not any compulsion on the part of the player, the group happens upon the second of the scouts.



Scout:Then I'll make sure I'm behind you if we're swarmed. We want the tunnel ahead, but there are darkspawn tracks all over it. Be careful.
Urist: Have you seen the thaig door yet?
Scout: I haven't ventured more than a hundred yards ahead for fear of alerting other darkspawn. I'll follow your lead, Commander.



Urist, Gorim, Frandlin, and... Scout. I have a feeling I know who won't survive the mission!



(Fun Fact: The Dwarven Noble Origin is one of only two Origins in the game in which darkspawn, the primary antagonists of the game, actually appear.)

After a bloody battle through a massive wave of five cannon-fodder darkspawn, Urist's group comes across a strange sight:



Already dead darkspawn, and the door to the hidden thaig already wide open.



Ivo: It could have been stolen, recently or generations back.
Scout: Or it could be an ambitious cousin out for his own glory.
Urist: We'll see soon enough.

Sure enough, not ten paces in through the doors...



Oh, hi there, Mercenary Pedostache!

Pedostache: Turns out the shield isn't as easy to retrieve as I was lead to believe. I wager you know where it is, though.

Pedostache: Oh, she's a funny one. Just what I needed. Now kill these idiots.

(The battle with Pedostache is mostly nothing that Urist can't handle, aside from a random thug who uses the ballista in the corner during the battle. Also, please pretend that I had remembered to take screenshots of the battle itself.)

After the battle, Urist notices that Pedostache was carrying an Aeducan family signet ring. And not just any Aeducan family signet ring...



Gorim: The ring is Trian's? That means he...
Urist: This may not mean anything.
Gorim: Or it may be a warning for us to keep our guard up.
Urist: Caution is always a good idea.

Okay, it's not looking good right now for the “Trian is Innocent” theory, but keep in mind that the Deep Roads are pretty dangerous. Who's to say that these mercenaries didn't attack Trian first, and then loot his ring?



Dragon Age only has one “burnt-up corpse model,” and that model is most certainly not of Dwarven proportions. But we probably weren't supposed to notice that.



Eventually, after a period of time that was not spent wandering around trying to remember what to do before finally giving in and looking at the “plot helper” on the in-game map, Urist's group finally enters the actual Ruined Thaig building. (Marvel at the in-game cutscene engine.)

Gorim: This is the room. How do we get the shield?
Urist: Look around. There must be a clue.
Gorim: You two, see if you can spot anything.

(If you're having trouble figuring out the solution to the puzzle, Gorim, Ivo, and Scout will randomly shout out clues that all but hand the answer to you on a platter, but let me spell it out for you instead.)



Three raised platforms, and three non-Urist party members.



One sarcophagus in the middle of the room with the Aeducan family symbol on it.

Place party members on tiles, have Urist activate the symbol with her signet ring. Success!

(This, by the way, is the aforementioned puzzle that becomes impossible if the game ejected Gorim from the party. He still would have shown up for cutscenes and chat, but not for in-game puzzles.)



Too bad that no one can actually equip it on the way out of the Deep Roads, least of all, Urist. It would probably look pretty slick.



Jean-Louise Finch: It doesn't look like much...
Ivo: The skill of our crafters has come far since then. But still... the Shield of Aeducan.
Urist: It's a symbol, that's all.
Scout: If it helps rally the troops, it's a good thing.

Then Gorim reminds the entire party, for the eighth time, that the crossroads are the rendezvous point and that Urist's group is supposed to be meeting the others there (aside from the Grey Wardens, who wisely don't give a shit about Dwarven drama.)

After one last “surprise” darkspawn ambush, Gorim and Urist get to pondering.



Gorim: If Trian were really scheming against us, this would be the perfect place for an ambush. We've got the shield, and we're all alone out here.
Urist: I'm ready for anything.

Just as Scout interrupts to ask Urist what it is that she's talking about, the group hears a cry of anguish from down the tunnel, around where the rendezvous point was supposed to be. They rush to the source of the cry, only to find Trian and his men, already dead.



Gorim: This doesn't look like darkspawn. No bites, no scratches, no mutilation...
Urist: Be careful. The murderers may still be around.
Bhelen: Hurry, Father! Before it's too late!



Aeducan: By all the ancestors, what has happened here?
Meino: It seems we weren't fast enough. Bhelen was right.



Urist: We got here just a moment ago.
Guard: Just long enough to slay Trian!
Gorim: My lady is innocent!
Harrowmont: Ser Gorim, your loyalty makes you a useless witness. It falls to others to tell the story. You, scout, what happened here?



Scout: Lady Aeducan came up to them, all friendly-like, but when we got close, she ordered us to attack!
Urist: That's a lie!
Harrowmont: Then we shall discover the truth. Frandlin Ivo, you are a good and noble man. Did the scout speak the truth?



Ivo: Afterward, my lady stripped his signet ring.

(This right here is why anyone who gives Ivo the Proving Helmet is a fool, even if they're all about playing the goody-goody.)

Gorim: You treacherous bastard!
Harrowmont: Silence, Gorim.
Aeducan: Do you have anything else to say, my daughter?
Urist: How can you not see that this is a setup?



Harrowmont: Bind her. She will be judged before the Assembly. To Orzammar!

…
…
…

Urist: Hey Father, I found the Shield!

One tasteful cut later...

So, this might not be the greatest news ever for Urist.

(At this point, everything Urist had in her inventory, with the exception of any Promotional or Unlocked DLC Items, is gone for good. However, Urist does still have all of the money that she earned thus far. This is why Urist did (almost) anything she could for cold, hard cash.

Prior to patch 1.03 on the PC (and its equivalent patch on the consoles), even the Promotional and DLC items would be stripped from a Dwarven Noble's inventory. As you can imagine, this didn't much please people who played this Origin on their first ever playthrough.)

After a few moments, a visitor approaches the cell.



Oh good. Gorim is here for a conjugal visit. Just in case you'd forgotten that little plot nugget from the intro. (Vomit enthusiasts? You're welcome.)



Gorim: I could be better. I have bad news, though. The Assembly isn't going to call for you. Bhelen has taken Trian's place in the Assembly. He introduced a motion to condemn you immediately, and it easily passed. He... had fully half the Assembly ready to vote on something completely against tradition and justice! He must have been making deals and alliances for months, if not years.
Urist: So, what happens now?
Gorim: The Assembly has already sentenced both of us.
Urist: Tell me.
Gorim: I am to be exiled to the surface, but you... You're to be sealed in the Deep Roads to fight darkspawn until you are overwhelmed and killed.
Urist: What does my father say about this?
Gorim: Lord Harrowmont says the king has taken ill. He couldn't bear losing two of his children at once. Lord Harrowmont gave me access to see you so I could tell you this: Duncan and the Grey Wardens are still in the Deep Roads, in tunnels connected to those you are to be left in.



Gorim: The Grey Wardens don't care about a person's past. They recruit for daring, intelligence, and martial power. If you can find them, I'm sure you can join them and escape the Deep Roads.
Urist: How do I find the Grey Wardens?
Gorim: They're down there somewhere. It's just a matter of surviving long enough to track them. I begged to go with you and fight at your side, but Bhelen's pet nobles wouldn't hear of it.
Urist: You're safer going to the surface.
Gorim: I would give up all the safety in the world to go down this dark path with you. Our time is up. May the Paragons guide your sword and the Stone hold you up.
Urist: The same to you, my friend.



Gorim leaves, and shortly afterward, the Jailor comes to drag Urist in front of Lord Harrowmont.



Harrowmont: Your name is, from this point forward, stripped from the records. You are no longer a person, nor a memory. You are to be cast into the Deep Roads with only sword and shield, there to redeem your life by fighting the enemies of Orzammar until your death. Do you have anything to say before your sentence is carried out?
Urist: Bhelen will destroy you, just as he did me.
Harrowmont: I understand your anger. You should have been allowed to defend yourself. Had I the power to stop this, I would have. Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn't do this. For your father's sake.
Urist: I didn't kill Trian.



UH DUUUUUUUUUUH!

Urist, honey, it's okay to leave them to die.

Harrowmont: Believe me, I will spend the rest of my days making sure Bhelen does not profit by his deeds. Your father asked me to give these to you. This sword and shield are of fine dwarven make. Strike a blow at our enemies.
Urist: Tell my father I went to a warrior's death.
Harrowmont: May the Stone accept you when you fall.



I really, really hope that the Grey Wardens have some sort of face-covering helmet.



From this moment on, Urist is forced to make her way through the Deep Roads with only the clothes on her back, and whatever she can scavenge from darkspawn and dwarf corpses. Fortunately, being a Rogue gives her a few helpful abilities for this section. Including Stealth.



When Stealth is active, as long as Urist does not actually start battle by physically attacking a (not too Cunning) enemy, she stays hidden for as long as she needs. This allows her to disarm traps...



Backstab unobservant enemies...



Get hopelessly stuck in the Deep Roads geometry...



And get mauled to death by a gang of Deep Stalkers.



Due to the whims of the RNG, Urist is forced to wander the Deep Roads without any shoes. Can things get any more pathetic than this?



Oh.

Duncan: What are you doing here alone? Where are your troops? Ah, you have been made to walk the Deep Roads, then.



That's it! That's exactly the helmet Urist needs!

Coincidentally, the expression on the face of the guy in the back is exactly the same as the expression that was on my face when I first saw Urist.

“Seriously, Billy. Once you get them started, they never shut up about their dwarven honor.”

Duncan: It is not the way of this order to pass judgments on the pasts of others. You have already proven yourself both resourceful and skilled, and I would expect nothing less from an Aeducan. I have been searching for those with your level of ability. Your exploits in the Deep Roads set you apart. As leader of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden, I would like to formally invite you to join our order.
[b]Urist:{/b] I accept.
Duncan: We leave immediately for Ostagar to join with the human forces facing the darkspawn hordes, led by King Cailan. Stay close. There are darkspawn around every corner...

… And so did Urist go from being a Hero to becoming a Warden, while escaping idiotic dwarven politics and social drama forever.

Next Time: The Road to Ostagar

Codices:

(This codex is different if the Warden is not a Dwarf.)

Extras:



Orzammar and Deep Roads Concept Art

Aw, Scout didn't die. I thought it was tradition to make a random party member die in the intro. Oh well.

You know, for all those misses of yours, at least the enemies miss you just as much. Are they really inaccurate or is that a perk of being a Rogue?

Should've seen some form of plot twist coming, but that still surprised me.
Pfff yeah right, forever. We'll be back here by...uh.. whenever the plot demands it. That king's not going to last a month I bet.

Man, at first I thought I had forgotten how good this game really looks. Then I realised you're just playing on the PC. The console version is not nearly this pretty and that makes me a little sad.

You need to invest in the twin weapon skill to not be rubbish at using two weapons...the hallmark of the DA rogue. I mean, you could use bows, but you've got mages for ranged death.

FOREVER.

There's been talk about me switching Urist to bow spec. If it's a thing that people seriously want, I'll do it when I can (which will be in another few updates.)

That said, I think I did end up putting points into dual-wielding spec, so we will soon be seeing Urist live up to her true potential, dodging and landing those hits.

Don't spec bows, but DO show what she looks like with a longbow.

Fabulous. And no helmets, please! How are we to see our heroine's blood-soaked, completely empty face after battles?

I wish I knew about this sooner! I would've voted for Dwarven Commoner, but I think Dwarven origins are the way to go in that they give you some sort of reason to care about Orzammar later. You'll still hate it, but now you'll know why.

I think DW rogues have the option of relying on backstabs for their damage and investing in rogue skills, instead of dual-wielding skills (some offhand daggers can improve this considerably, too). But, ugh, flanking. And rogue skills. (I don't like rogues! they're better in the expansion and sequel, though)

The thing about Bhelen is that he is kind of a DILF. I never expected to find myself attracted to a dwarf, but the heart wants what it wants (stocky, regicidal sociopaths, apparently).

Hey everybody!

Did You Know… That it is actually possible for Urist to be completely guilty of murdering Trian?

Speaking of which, Did You Know… That every Origin story happens, whether you choose it or not? In fact, as Urist continues her travels, she’ll run into quite a few people and places that are linked with the different Origins.

She just won’t be meeting up with any Rival Wardens, because they all died horribly. Now, let’s meet all of those people you just killed.


The Human Noble is the youngest child of the Teyrn of Highever, who is called to battle alongside the King’s forces. Since the Teyrn has all the army he needs with the Human Noble`s older brother, Fergus, his best friend, Arl Howe, and all of their respective armies along for the ride, Human Noble is left home to take care of the estate instead. Duncan shows up to try to beg a few soldiers for the Grey Wardens, but no one is particularly interested. After a heartwarming farewell scene with the entire family, the men leave, and Human Noble spends the day chasing rats out of the cellar with the loyal family Dog, talking to Ser Fanservice, and boffing the servants.

Then Arl Howe’s men return in the dead of night and slaughter everyone in the palace, including the Human Noble`s sister-in-law and little nephew. (Every time you see a happy family in the Dragon Age series, just go ahead and assume that at least one of them will die horribly. It’ll save you a lot of time and grief.) For some reason, Arl Howe assumes that the entire world will believe that the darkspawn did it, despite the fact that none of the Howe soldiers ever bother to leave evidence that would indicate darkspawn activity.

So the Human Noble and his mother attempt to escape the palace, only to find themselves surrounded, while the Teyrn lies mortally wounded in the wine cellar (if I remember correctly, he did actually notice Howe's soldiers behaving strangely and followed them back). At this point, Duncan inexplicably returns, despite the invasion and despite having no reason to believe that there should be any survivors left to save, and offers to take the Human Noble to safety, but only if he or she joins the Grey Wardens. Despite what this set-up might lead you to believe, all of this really is Arl Howe’s plot, and not just an overly-complicated plan by Duncan to get that damned Grey Warden recruit by hook or by crook.

If the Human Noble is not recruited: He or she dies in the siege of Highever Estates, or dies during the escape attempt. Since the Human Noble is the only Origin that gets a permanent party member right off the bat, and the only Origin in which most of the escape work is done for the Warden, this doesn't say a lot for the overall quality of this particular recruit. Still, if you want an Origin that actually has some bearing on how the game plays out after the Origin itself ends, this is the one you're stuck with.


The Mage’s story begins with his or her Harrowing, the test that determines whether or not a Mage is able to properly control their Throbbing Biological Urges and resist the demons that want to use their bodies as portals to the mortal realm. Obviously, the Mage nails it, and is declared a full member of the Magi Circle of Ferelden. Duncan is here trying to convince the Templar Order that oversees the Circle to give the Grey Wardens some more Magi recruits, but the Knight Commander of the Templars think that they’ve been more than generous already, what with sending (almost) every other story-relevant Mage in the game out to fight alongside the King.

Later, the Mage’s best friend, Jowan, comes to him or her with a problem. He’s in love with a Priestess of Andraste, and she’s just told him that the Templars have declared him too inept to take the Harrowing, and want him to be made Tranquil instead (like declawing a cat, only instead of “claws” think “soul.”) So he wants the Mage to help him escape the Circle Tower forever. The Mage can choose to help Jowan, or tattle on him in order to get in good with the First Enchanter, who is the leader of the Mages. (If you choose the latter option, you can discover that the real reason Jowan is going to be made Tranquil is because he is suspected of being a Blood Mage, which is the kind of Mage that the Chantry hates most of all.) Regardless of what you choose, the plot contrives so that you have to go along with the escape plan anyway.

Long story short, the plan goes off without a hitch, but then they are caught on their way out of the basement. Then Jowan proves himself to be a Blood Mage, and kills several Templars before running away, leaving the Mage holding the bag, so to speak. Even if the Mage had told the First Enchanter about the plan, the Knight Commander insists that he be punished as an example anyway. Then Duncan shows up and conscripts the Mage before any punishment can be laid down. Since Grey Wardens can conscript anyone in the population of Thedas for any reason, there's not much the Knight Commander can do about it, except sulk.

If the Mage is not recruited: He or she is turned Tranquil, executed, or sent to the Chantry’s Magic Murder City along with Jowan's girlfriend (the Chantry is also not too fond of heretic clergy.)


It’s the City Elf’s wedding day! And it’s a double-wedding alongside his or her cousin Soris! Hooray! The festivities start out pleasantly enough, until they’re interrupted by the son of the Arl of Denerim, who starts picking fights and threatening people because City Elves are the most downtrodden people of Ferelden and he’s a jackass.

After he tries to beat up the City Elf, he gets bludgeoned by the City Elf’s other cousin, Shianni, and is taken away by his buddies. Everyone says `”Gee, I hope that guy won't get mad that he got the crap beat out of him by a lowly elf woman,” and goes off to enjoy the wedding. Duncan appears here looking for recruits too, because Bioware needed him to be in this scenario and apparently impoverished, malnourished, embittered victims of the Establishment make wonderful military recruits. Also, he's apparently a friend of the Elder from way back, so the City Elf can't just throw him out.

The wedding continues, but just as the ceremony comes to a close, the Arl's son returns, along with his gang of thugs, and kidnaps all of the women taking part in the wedding. If the City Elf is male, this includes his new bride. If the City Elf is female, this includes her.

If Male: The City Elf and Soris borrow swords from Duncan and break into the Arl's manor, going on a mad killing spree in search of the kidnapped women.

If Female: The City Elf goes on a mad killing spree to escape the Arl`s manor, after Soris shows up with Duncan's sword in search of her and the other women. Duncan is not with him because “Grey Wardens must remain neutral.” (Remember that line, because it only becomes more and more hilarious as the series goes on.)

Eventually, the City Elf finds the Arl`s son and his cronies standing over Shianni. The Arl`s son offers to pay them 40 gold sovereigns to leave the girls and go, but since there`s no reason to hoard gold above all else in this Origin you`re a bad person for doing it. If the City Elf refuses, he kills the Arl`s son and frees all of the women, but Shianni has already been beaten, raped and traumatized by the experience (Dragon Age is rated M for Mature.)

Regardless of what the City Elf chooses to do, the Guardsmen invade the Elven Alienage in search of the City Elf, but Duncan conscripts the City Elf instead of allowing him or her to be punished. The City Elf's spouse pretty much just goes `”Oh well, guess we won't be able to make it work after all, huh? Bye!” (To be fair, it was an arranged marriage.)

If the City Elf is not recruited: He or she is arrested and executed by the City Guard of Denerim. Though in this case at least the City Elf actually did most of the stuff he or she was arrested for.


While on duty patrolling the woods outside of the Dalish Elf`s camp, the Dalish Elf and his or her best friend Tamlen come across some humans who are trespassing within their territory. Whether they send them on their way or just kill them, they decide to investigate the cave the humans were trespassing in, to see if there was actually something good in there. They find a magic mirror, and like an idiot, Tamlen touches it.

The Dalish Elf wakes up back at camp, after having been dragged there by Duncan (who, for once, was just passing by and not hanging out and begging pathetically for recruits). Tamlen is missing, and darkspawn are everywhere. The Keeper, Marethari, tells the Dalish Elf that Duncan said that the darkspawn taint has already entered him or her (tee hee). The Dalish Elf, along with the Keeper`s apprentice, Merrill, decide to go search for any trace of Tamlen.

They eventually find Duncan, staring at the mirror. He tells them that Tamlen is dead, and that the Dalish Elf will soon turn into a darkspawn, unless he or she becomes a Grey Warden! Because the question of how becoming a Grey Warden could possibly help this situation would spoil an upcoming plot point, no answer is forthcoming.

If the Dalish Elf is not recruited: He or she becomes a darkspawn and has to be put down like a rabid dog.


The Dwarven Commoner and his or her sister, Rica, work for the crime lord Beraht. Since they are casteless, they have pretty much no choice but to do this, starve in the streets, or go to the icky surface (yes, even casteless dwarves with literally nothing to lose think they are too good for the surface world.)

The Dwarven Commoner, along with his best friend, Leske, run errands and break knees for Beraht for a while, until he orders them to rig the Provings for him. Duncan is here watching the Provings, in search of, you guessed it, a possible recruit (bet he was secretly pissed off when Urist won.) Due to cirumstances beyond his control, the Dwarven Commoner is forced to impersonate Beraht's man in the Provings in order to make sure that Beraht wins his bet. Things go great for a while, until the guy that the Dwarven Commoner was impersonating shows up, foiling the plan. (This happens well before the series of fights that Urist participates in, which explains why they never actually meet.)

Before the Assembly of Orzammar can finish their shitfit over how the Dwarven Commoner needs to die for “offending the Warrior Caste,” Beraht captures the Dwarven Commoner himself, and the Dwarven Commoner is forced to kill him to escape. Duncan practically wets himself with glee, since this is basically the easiest Grey Wardens salespitch he's ever made.

If the Dwarven Commoner is not recruited: He or she presumably dies in the cell in Beraht`s dungeon. Guess which Origin I have never personally played?

So basically Dragon Age is full of feel-good stories about happy families and best buds who are horribly torn apart by the awful people whom they are surrounded by (and sometimes, by the darkspawn.)

RPG of the Year 2009!

I always loved the fact that all the origin stories happened at the same time. It wasn't something I could appreciate on my first run of the game, obviously, but picking up hints of things like that on subsequent runs was really cool for me. Especially the city elf story. My mind was blown when I realized I could be the elf the caused all the trouble that you hear about in Denerim.

That all of the Origins happen and just resolve unfavorably for some poor, mute souls is too real for me. I at least hope that the canononical non-Wardens have Uristianly offputting faces. Helps me cope. (I'm the living worst, btw)

City elf is probably my favorite origin after dwarven commoner. I actually like it more, but I think dwarves are better, again, just for Orzammar later. And you don't really get to act like much of a feisty* lunatic once it's over.

*"Don't call me feisty. That's a little racist." - Elves

Last time, on Dragon Age: Origins, Urist had a terrible, awful, no-good, very bad day. No thanks to her scheming little brother Bhelen. On the bright side, having her entire life torn away from her has opened up new and exciting possibilties, like joining the Grey Wardens!

Ostagar and King Cailan Intro - (First timers, be careful of spoilers in the sidebar.)

… Before this very moment, if you had told me that there was a ruler who had a more delusional view of what needed to be done in order to stop the darkspawn armies than King Aeducan, I would have called you a nutbar and demanded that you go lie down before you hurt yourself. More the fool me, I guess.



Duncan: True. Despite the victories so far, the darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing day. By now, they look to outnumber us. I know there is an archdemon behind this. But I cannot ask the king to act solely upon my feeling.
Urist: Why not? He seems to regard the Grey Wardens highly.
Duncan: Yet not enough to wait for reinforcements from the Grey Wardens of Orlais. He believes our legend alone makes him invulnerable. Our numbers in Ferelden are too few. We must do what we can and look to Teyrn Loghain to make up the difference.



Urist does not recall hearing anything about a “Joining Ritual.” Not even during that incredibly long march halfway across the country!

Duncan: Every recruit must go through a secret ritual we call the Joining in order to become a Grey Warden. The ritual is brief, but some preparation is required. We must begin soon.
Urist: Why is this ritual so secret?
Duncan: The Joining is dangerous. I cannot speak more of it except to say that you will learn all in good time. Until then, you must trust that what is done is necessary.

Whatever, Dunc. You're just lucky that Urist is quite literally a homeless, penniless nonperson with nowhere else in the world to go and nothing to lose anyway.

Of course, since Urist really doesn't want to dwell on that right now, she just changes the subject.

Urist: Am I the only recruit you have?
Duncan: No, there are two other recruits here already. They have been waiting for us to arrive.
Urist: What do you need me to do?
Duncan: Feel free to explore the camp here as you wish. All I ask is that you do not leave it for the time being. There is another Grey Warden in the camp by the name of Alistair. When you are ready, seek him out and tell him it's time to summon the other recruits.



Then Duncan leaves, and Urist, for the first time in her life, is completely alone.

… Not that the game really allows for the possibility that a dwarven character might be feeling homesick. Or just plain freaking out at seeing things like grass, trees, flowers, the sky, and the sun for the first time ever. I was just trying to be dramatic.

Anyway, Urist decides that her first order of business is to find some damn shoes. To that end, she starts exploring around Ostagar.



Even if she had a mind to, or had anywhere to go if she did, it looks like Urist isn't escaping “the Joining” that easily (even the name sounds vaguely sinister.)

Up the next-nearest flight of stairs, Urist meets with a guardsman who is guarding the entrance to a large tower. Urist has never seen a tower before!



Guard: By orders of Teyrn Loghain. The tower is being secured by his men to be used during battle. I'm told they discovered some lower chambers, and they don't know how far down they go. So for now, everyone's to stay out.

Oh well, back to scrounging through things found on the ground.



All of a sudden, Urist is reminded that she hasn't actually eaten in days. Too bad this Beef Bone is clearly a Gift and not for her.



Well, this guy seems friendly!



Guard: Not far, it's straight ahead, just past the royal encampment. Most of your fellows are in the valley with the army, but the recruits seem to be staying up here for now.

(Urist can ask this guy for information on every last man, woman, and dog in the army, but boy is that ever boring.)



Urist has never seen Mages before!



(Not Pictured: The guys in the back writhing around and Milking the Giant Cow, all magic-like. Apparently this is what people look like when they are in the Fade.)

Urist: The Fade?
Templar: The Fade is the realm of dreams and the land of the dead. Or so the mages tell us. Regardless, they are not to be disturbed. Not even by Grey Wardens.

Fun Fact: Dwarves have no connection to magic or the Fade whatsoever, so Urist can never have dreams.



This Mage is the only one who isn't flailing about like a moron. For that matter, she's the only one who has a name.



Urist secretly wonders if it would be rude to ask Wynne about her weird octopus crotchplate. (Urist saw a picture of an octopus in a book, once.)

Wynne: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Wynne, one of the mages summoned by the king.
Urist: I am Urist.
Wynne: Well met, and good luck to you on the battlefield. To us all, in fact.
Urist: Will you be fighting beside the king?
Wynne: Not precisely. The Grey Wardens will be on the front lines, not the mages. Still, we have our parts to play. To defeat the darkspawn, we have to work together. It's not an idea that everyone seems to be able to grasp.
Urist: You've faced darkspawn before?
Wynne: Stragglers, yes- not the vast horde the scouts speak of. I wonder... how much do you know of the connection between darkspawn and the Fade?
Urist: What does the Fade have to do with anything?
Wynne: Any time your spirit leaves your earthly body, whether it's to dream or to die, it passes into the realm we call the Fade. It's home to many spirits, some benevolent, others far less so. At the heart of the Fade lies the Black City.
Urist: What's the Black City?
Wynne: Some say the Black City was once the seat of the Maker. But when mages from the Tevinter Imperium found a way into the City, it was tainted with their sin. The taint transformed these men, turning them into twisted reflections of their own hearts. And the Maker cast them back to the earth, where they became the first darkspawn. At least, that's what the Chant of Light says.
Urist: And is that true?
Wynne: It may be allegory, meant to teach us that our own evil causes human suffering. Or it may be true. It is as good an explanation as any, for now.
Urist: I'll just kill every darkspawn I see.
Wynne: A wise attitude. It's worked well for me in the past. But I'm certain that Duncan has more for you to do than talk to me.

TL;DR Version: Wynne is boring and you learned all that stuff from the game's intro anyway.

Also, Wynne's entry is immediately added to the Codex, so this isn't the last Urist has seen of her. Dammit.



Wow, Mages sure are chatty.

Tranquil: I am one of the Tranquil, my friend. I'm of the Circle of Magi, but instead of casting spells and reading tomes, I spend my time enchanting. It is a time-consuming process, but invaluable. Enchantment provides the Circle its wealth. Certainly, we would not get by on charity.

This guy may not have a soul anymore, but it hasn't done his snark-sense any harm.

Urist can also ask this guy everything about Tranquil and why someone would do such a sick thing to another person. Long story short, it's not that bad, except every Mage who isn't tranquil is horrified by the very concept, until they become tranquil, then it's awesome. Also, the tranquil also lose their deadly weakness to lyrium (i.e. magic juice), so they can enchant all kinds of stuff, just like dwarves can.

This asshole won't enchant anything for Urist.



He also won't share his stash. (Isn't greed an emotion?)

On her way to the Quartermaster's tent, Urist comes across another Roguely type.



Of course, he strikes out. Unfortunately, Urist hangs around gawking at the scene for just a bit too long...

Daveth: Not a dwarf, yet here you are. The name's Daveth. It's about bloody time you came along. I was beginning to think that they cooked this ritual up just for our benefit.
Urist: What do you know about this ritual?
Daveth: I happened to be sneaking around camp last night, see, and I heard a couple of Grey Wardens talking. So I listen in for a bit. I'm thinking they plan to send us into the Wilds.
Urist: So what? That wouldn't frighten me.
Daveth: Cannibals, beasts, witches, and now darkspawn? What isn't there to be scared of? It's all too secretive for me. Makes my nose twitch. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Like we have a choice.
Urist: They're forcing you to be here?
Daveth: I got nowhere else to go after what Duncan saved me from. Anyway, I except it's time to get back to Duncan. That's where I'll be, if you need me for anything.

So... Duncan apparently has a “type” he likes for the Grey Wardens. I'm not sure whether Urist should be offended, or just skeeved out. Oh, and the latest update on “the Joining” is that it might be happening in a creepy woods with monsters and witches.

This is, however, still better than spending a day in the Deep Roads.



The Quartermaster doesn't really have anything too exciting for Rogues (aside from that pair of shoes Urist needs, which I almost immediately find a pair of in a locked chest elsewhere), but she does use her money to clean him out of his stock of Poultices, and of this, the Backpack. Increasing Urist's item limit is always a good thing, especially at this stage in the game, where she's shit out of luck if she runs out of inventory space.

(There's also a chance to start a quest for the Quartermaster, but since I couldn't remember where the elf he's looking for is, I skipped it. It was one of those “mean people” quests anyway.)



Urist has never seen dogs before!



Kennel Master: Are you the new Warden? I could use some help.
Urist: I don't know anything about dogs.
Kennel Master: It's not what you know so much as what you are, really. This is a mabari. Smart breed, and strong. His owner died in the last battle, and the poor hound swallowed darkspawn blood. I have medicine that might help, but I need him muzzled first.
Urist: Why do you think I could muzzle him?
Kennel Master: You're a Grey Warden, or soon will be. All Wardens are immune to the darkspawn taint. The most you have to worry about is some tooth marks.
Urist: Just how smart is this dog?
Kenny: Centuries ago, a mage bred them to be smart and understand what they're told. They can remember and carry out complex orders. Most valuable dogs in the world. Trouble is they generally imprint to one master; re-imprinting them is very difficult. But without the medicine, re-imprinting won't be an issue. Will you help?
Urist: I'll give it a shot.



Urist successfully puts the muzzle on the dog, and leaves the pen. (Alternately, she can simply kill the dog, but that's not very nice!)

Kenny: Well done! Now I can treat the dog properly- poor fellow. Come to think of it, are you heading into the Wilds anytime soon?
Urist: I might be. Why?
[b]Kenny:{/b] There's a particular herb I could use to improve the dog's chances. It's a flower that grows in the swamps here, if I remember. If you happen across it, I could use it. It's very distinctive: all white with a blood-red center.
Urist: I'll see if I can find one.
Kenny: Good. In the meantime, I'll begin treating our poor friend.

… I wonder if Urist should have mentioned that she doesn't know what a flower is?

Maybe Duncan knows!



Duncan: Alistair can help you with those. I had hoped he would be back by now.

You know, Duncan, maybe you could have let her finish that thought. What, did Alistair run off with the order's only copy of the Farmer's Almanac?

By the way, that's Duncan's “tent” right there. Just a raging bonfire smack in the middle of camp, a mere stone's throw away from the king and the teyrn's tents.

(Yes, Dragon Age replaces “lord” with a Ye Fantasye Worlde title, yet leaves “king” as-is.)

Then Urist sees something that I had no idea was going to be here.



The Respec Raven!

(Prior to this, I had only ever installed the Respec Raven in post-Ostagar files, so I hadn't known that he could appear here too. I am amazing at Dragon Age: Origins.)



Ha ha! It looks like a Prinny!

The Respec Raven can do two things:

1) It can give you a Respec potion, to be used at any time on any character.
2) It can open up all of the game's specializations at once, including those that are usually locked behind plot events or relationship progression with permanent party members. (This isn't really relevant yet, since Urist has yet to receive any specialization points.)

Option #2 is a bit much, especially for a first-time playthrough, but Option #1 sure would have been nice to have in the base game. Thankfully, every subsequent game in the series has the ability to respec built in (well, Dragon Age 2 hides it behind a New Copy/DLC wall, but that's still better than nothing.)

Okay, look, I haven't forgotten about showing you guys bows, I just- OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT



Guard: How can you not know of Loghain? He helped free Ferelden. He was the brains behind King Maric's armies and drove out those damned Orlesians. King Maric rewarded him by making him a teyrn. Can you imagine? A commoner became a high nobleman just like that. Without Loghain, you can bet the king wouldn't be winning against these darkspawn.
Urist: Is the teyrn inside? What's he doing?
Guard: He's inside, but... I don't think it's my place to discuss his activities.
Urist: [Persuade] Surely you can tell me a little about him.

(Persuasion is determined by Urist's Cunning score, and the number of points she has in Coercion, so she clears this one with room to spare.)

Guard: I suppose... as long as we talk quietly. He and the king have been arguing for days. The teyrn's known the king since he was swaddled, so they don't stand on ceremony. The teyrn speaks his mind, and the king yells right back. Personally, I think the king should do what Teyrn Loghain tells him. Without the teyrn, we wouldn't be doing as well here as we are.
Urist: [Persuade] I would like an audience with the teyrn, please.
Guard: Hmm, I suppose you have a message for him. Hold on, then...

This guy makes the guards in Marl Kingdom look like battle-weary hardasses.

Within moments, Teyrn Loghain actually appears. He must be expecting one hell of a message.



Loghain: You impressed his majesty, nonetheless. He could not contain his excitement over your meeting.

“Oh my god Loghain, you have to hear this okay, she was all like 'I'm a dwarf' and I was like ohmigod! You know I've never seen a dwarf up close before and I wonder if they all have jacked up faces like that but anyway she was so totally rad I think she was the king's daughter or something she said she would tell me about it later after we beat all of the darkspawn everywhere forever and become bffiles AND THIS IS JUST GOING TO BE WAY PAST COOOOOOOL!!!!!”

… Well, if that's not what happened, it's probably not far from the truth.



Loghain: Maric respected the Grey Wardens. They have an honored place in the hearts of our people. But Maric would have understood that it takes more than legends to win a battle. That's not an argument I'll repeat here. You're no surface dwarf; I can see it in your eyes. Smart of the Grey Wardens to look for new recruits in Orzammar. I don't suppose you'll be riding into the thick of battle with the rest of your fellows, will you?
Urist: I don't know.
Loghain: If Cailan has his way, you will. Now I must return to my task. Pray that our king proves amenable to wisdom, if you're the praying sort.
Urist: You don't seem very fond of him.
Loghain: He is Maric's son and the leader of my beloved Ferelden. And a very young man. I try to keep that in mind, as should you.

Translation: “No shit, sherlock.”

Still, Loghain seems like he's got a good head on his shoulders, and there's got to be a reason that literally everyone Urist has talked to so far can't stop going on about how awesome he is. Maybe she'll do him a solid and try to talk some sense into the king... After all, she didn't spend her formative years in Dwarf Charm School for nothing.



Guard: I suppose I do, though he's spending most of his time with the Grey Wardens. He rides with them wherever they go, in fact. Teyrn Loghain sees the king whenever he can and argues with him over coming battles, but the king just waves him off. The king wants to end the Blight with a single huge battle the bards will sing of for centuries. Do you think that's possible?
Urist: I have my doubts.
Guard: That's how the teyrn feels. He'll do what the king wants in the end, though. The king thought it was funny the teyrn called him reckless. And they fought about the queen.
Urist: The queen?
Guard: She's the teryn's daughter. He wasn't happy about something she did or something the king did... I'm not sure. I probably shouldn't discuss it.

Okay, now this guy worries about professional ethics?!

Also, let's review the situation as Urist knows it so far: The armies of Ferelden are being led into battle by a starry-eyed Grey Wardens fanboy, who refuses to listen to the counsel of the wise, battle-scarred veteran whom everyone in camp respects and fears as a fine military mind. The battle is against a relentless, merciless horde of mindless monsters that Urist has fought against all of her life, that she knows cannot be underestimated for even a moment. The battle takes place tomorrow, and she still hasn't gone through her Grey Warden hazing that will give her the ability to not immediately die.

… At least dying alone in the Deep Roads would have been over and done with by now.



Priestess: I do. Though I cannot pass on the respects of your ancestors, the Maker looks kindly on all who will receive him.
Urist: Bah, it means little to me.
Priestess: How unwise, considering the difficult battle to come. May the Maker show you mercy anyhow.

LOOK LADY NO MEANS NO



… Okay, did Cailan seriously ask the army that invaded and enslaved the entire country for generations to come help fight this battle? Even though his most skilled advisor was one of those slaves, who fought a long and bitter war to kick them out, and who no doubt remembers the atrocities of that war as if it happened yesterday?

No, that has to be gossip. No one could possibly be that stupid.

Before Urist can set this knight straight by logically refuting her points, she happens to run into the other Grey Warden recruit.



Urist: Yes, I am Urist.
Jory: Ser Jory is my name. I hail from Redcliffe, where I served as knight under the command of Arl Eamon. I wasn't aware Dwarves could be Grey Wardens. I've only seen a few of your folk in the castle, dealing with the smithy.
Urist: Not all dwarves are smiths, you know.
Jory: Of course. My father was the castle smith, so I encountered dwarves through him. I hope we're both lucky enough to eventually join the Wardens. Is it not thrilling to be given that chance?
Urist: I'm curious about the Joining ritual.
Jory: As am I. Has anyone told you about it?
Urist: Daveth said we might be going into the Wilds.
Jory: I never heard of such a ritual. I had no idea that there were more tests after getting recruited. I suppose since you're finally here I'd best get back to Duncan. I shall see you there.

Since Urist is a decent person, she tries to be understanding about the fact that surfacers know nothing about dwarven society, and tries to overlook the fact that Jory basically called her a Smith Caste ho-bag. That still doesn't stop her from thinking that he's not very smart.

The guard to the right tries to protect Urist from the terrible truth by preventing her from entering, but it's plain to see that the “army camp” is just a model.

Elsewhere in camp, Urist comes across a hanging cage with a prisoner in it.



Prisoner: I don't suppose you have a bit of kindness in you? All I want is food and water. They haven't fed me since I was locked up, and I'm starving.
Urist: Tell me why you're in there, first.
Prisoner: I'm a deserter. Or so they think. I bet there's no arguing them out of it, though- armies are funny that way.
Urist: Did you desert?
Prisoner: I wasn't deserting, but when you catch someone sneakin' around camp in the middle of the night, what else are you gonna think? Does it matter? All I want is a bit of food and water.

Well, old habits die hard, so maybe Urist can shake him down for something more than the satisfaction of a good deed done. She presses him about why he was sneaking around camp, and he finally gives up the goods.

Prisoner: Because you might want something I don't need. Them Circle wizards got a chest they keep things in, magical things... and I stole the key. That's why I'm here. I got one of them drunk, took his key, and tried to sneak to the chest. They assumed I was deserting. I can't use it from here, but I'd trade you for some food and water.
Urist: They didn't find the key when you were arrested?



Well, that's absolutely disgusting!

At this point, Urist has many options. She can bribe (or persuade) the guard to share his rations with the prisoner, she can pickpocket the guard (or she could, if she had any points in Stealing), or she can just shank the prisoner and take the key (the guard doesn't actually care.) Urist chooses the first option, and proudly claims her shit key.



Except that yeah, the Tranquil guy from earlier will probably get mad-er, tell someone who will get mad at her if he catches her, so she's going to have to sneak out at night, after everyone's supposed to be sleeping, and-

Well, Urist is way better at sneaking than that prisoner was. She can turn invisible and everything!



Finally, after running every other conceivable errand she can, Urist decides to go hunt down Alistair.



Alistair: I simply came to deliver a message from the revered mother, ser mage. She desires your presence.
Mage: What her Reverence “desires” is of no concern to me! I am busy helping the Grey Wardens- by the king's orders, I might add!
Alistair: Should I have asked her to write a note?
Mage: Tell her I will not be harassed in this manner!
Alistair: Yes, I was harrassing you by delivering a message.
Mage: Your glibness does you no credit.



Yeah, Alistair is one of those people who thinks that jokes are a substitute for social skills.

Mage: Enough! I will speak to the woman if I must! Get out of my way, fool!



Alistair: You're not the first to tell me that. Wait, we haven't met, have we? I don't suppose you happen to be another mage?
Urist: How can a dwarf be a mage?
Alistair: You never know. These mages sneak up on you. Wait, I do know who you are. You're Duncan's newest recruit, from Orzammar. I should have recognized you right away, I apologize.

Urist “Ugly Stick” Aeducan's reputation obviously precedes her.

Urist: And you must be Alistair.
Alistair: Did Duncan mention me? Nothing bad, I hope. As the junior member of the order, I'll be accompanying you when you prepare for the Joining.
Urist: Pleased to meet you. My name is Urist.
Alistair: Right. That was the name. Hmm, there haven't been any dwarven Grey Wardens in some time. You must know a lot about darkspawn.
Urist: I've fought a few in my time.
Alistair: I never saw one before this began. Hard to believe most folks here think the darkspawn disappeared after the last Blight when your people still suffer every day. Anyhow, whenever you're ready let's head back to Duncan. I imagine he's eager to get things started.



Even though every Origin has at least one sequence in which the Warden is given at least one other party member, the game picks now to go into forced tutorial mode. Right now, I believe it's explaining how to do that thing that you can't complete the Dwarven Noble Origin without knowing how to do.

It also eventually gets around to explaining Combat Tactics.



Long story short: Combat Tactics are to Dragon Age as Gambits are to Final Fantasy XII. Except that more options unlock throughout the game as you get more skills, and (almost) everything that you could conceivably want to do with the skills you already have is open to you from the get-go.

Right now the game wants Alistair to be set on the Defender preset, which is good enough for now. But I'll be fiddling with everyone's tactics as the game goes on. Offscreen, of course.



Alistair: What about?
Urist: The Joining ritual.
Alistair: I wish I could tell you more. Maybe ask me again after Duncan speaks to you about it.

Oh, so that's how it's going to be?! Well, for your information, she already asked Dad and Dad said YES!

(You can also ask Alistair about the history of the Grey Wardens, Duncan, the Blight, and the upcoming battle. Some of these get interesting responses from him, but the gist of it is that Alistair loves Duncan, and like everyone else in Ostagar, knows that Loghain is the only thing keeping everyone's asses out of darkspawn feed troughs.)



All you're doing is holding that tree up, you bossy old grouch!

Finally, Urist and Alistair return to “camp,” where Duncan is ready and waiting.




Alistair: What can I say? The revered mother ambushed me. The way she wields guilt they should stick her in the army.
Duncan: She forced you to sass the mage, did she? We cannot afford to antagonize anyone, Alistair. We don't need to give anyone more ammunition against us.
Alistair: You're right, Duncan. I apologize.

Duncan is that awesome boss that everyone's had at one point, who berates co-workers in front of each other and fails to see why that has a bad effect on morale. (If you have never had that boss, you probably are that boss.)

Also, if Urist had killed that dog, killed that prisoner, baited that priestess into a full-on fight over religion, baited Wynne into a full-on fight over religion, or helped the Quartermaster find and beat the shit out of that servant, Duncan would not have said a word about any of it.



Duncan: You four will be heading into the Korcari Wilds to perform two tasks. The first is to obtain three vials of darkspawn blood, one for each recruit.
Urist: What do we need darkspawn blood for?
Duncan: For the Joining itself. I'll explain more once you've returned.
Urist: Surely you could have acquired some blood before now.
Duncan: Of course. You must work together to collect the components, however. It is as much a part of the Joining as what comes after.
Urist: And what's the second task?
Duncan: There was once a Grey Warden archive in the Wilds, abandoned long ago when we could no longer afford to maintain such remote outposts. It has recently come to our attention that some scrolls have been left behind, magically sealed to protect them. Alistair, I want you to retrieve these scrolls if you can.
Urist: And what if they're no longer there?
Duncan: It's possible the scrolls may have been destroyed or even stolen, though the seal's magic should have protected them. Only a Grey Warden can break such a seal.
Alistair: I don't understand... why leave such things in a ruin if they're so valuable?

Duncan: It will be an overgrown ruin by now, but the sealed chest should remain intact. Alistair will guide you to the area you need to search.
Urist: Find the archive and three vials of blood. Understood.



Duncan: Watch over your charges, Alistair. Return quickly, and safely.



Oh, hi Daveth and Jory. Nice of you to join the party.

Next Time: The Korcari Wilds, and the Joining Ritual.

Codices:

(Many characters have codices that update throughout the game. Alistair is one of those characters.)

(You may recognize part of this Codex from the intro sequence.)

Extras:



It's... It's everything I ever dreamed it would be.

Also...



A typical longbow is taller than Urist.



However, she's still able to fire it without any trouble whatsoever. Well, except for the fact that she has no archery skills.

So, are the graphics on the PC version just that good, or is there some sort of mod-style witchcraft at work, here? Because it's sure as shit not this pretty on my PlayStation...

That's all PC. The only mods I've got on are the ones that I listed in the OP.

I've never actually seen the console version in action. Is it really that much worse?

Well, the armour looks better because of the mod (I totally missed that) but unless that does weapons, too, there's still a big difference between the two. I mean, it's nothing hugely major, but the picture seems a lot crisper and some of the textures just...look better.

The origin stories were a cool idea but I doubt we'll be seeing them again anytime soon. My only complaint is that I might for example want to play the human noble origin, but then play a mage, which isn't possible.

Oddly I never would have even considered a ReSpec ability until this game. I'm not sure if that's because older Bioware games are DnD and have decades worth of rules tweaks and advice or what. But in Dragon Age I screwed up Alistair, I focused on strength rather than dexterity and so he'd go down almost immediately in any fight, and near the end of the game there was no way to fix that.

Last time, on Dragon Age: Origins, among other things, Urist dug through the trash, got her tawdry noble gossip fix (somehow, it just wasn't the same), and met a few of her new co-workers for the first time.

Now, Urist and group set out for the Korcari Wilds, to complete their Grey Wardens hazing before Alistair gets yelled at again.



This guy is right. Immediately upon entering the Wilds, Urist and company are immediately set upon by a dozen wolves.

After pocketing a dozen wolf pelts, Urist spots something strange in the nearby lake:



Well, what did he think was going to happen when he tried to witness to the wolves?

In his pockets, Urist finds a letter:

So in addition to everything else, Urist and the gang are going to have to be the bearers of bad news. At least this time, there's no way anyone can pin this on her.



(If you stand at a distance and watch this guy for a while, he keeps trying to get up, but flops back down on his face every time. I could watch this for hours.)



Alistair: Well, he's not half as dead as he looks, is he?
Dying Soldier: My scouting band was attacked by darkspawn! They came out of the ground... Please, help me! I've got to... return to camp...
Urist: We can take you back.
Dying Soldier: If you just... bandage me up, I... can get back myself.
Alistair: I have bandages in my pack.
Dying Soldier: Thank you! I... I've got to get out of here!

So basically (Not) Dying Soldier thinks he's too good for a Grey Warden escort? What an ass.

What's worse is that he gets Jory all worked up.



Alistair: Calm down, Ser Jory. We'll be fine if we're careful.
Jory: Those soldiers were careful, and they were still overwhelmed. How many darkspawn can the four of us slay? A dozen? A hundred? There's an entire army in these forests!
Alistair: There are darkspawn about, but we're in no danger of walking into the bulk of the horde.
Jory: How do you know? I'm not a coward, but this is foolish and reckless. We should go back.
Urist: We're far from helpless, here. We'll be fine.
Jory: I still do not relish the thought of encountering an army.
Alistair: Know this: All Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn. Whatever their cunning, I guarantee they won't take us by surprise. That's why I'm here.



Jory: That is... reasuuring?
Alistair: That doesn't mean I'm here to make this easy, however. So let's get a move on.

Just a reminder: The Grey Wardens, the army that Jory is currently in the process of joining, is an army that is sworn to hunt and kill darkspawn, wherever they may go. It's not exactly a secret (hell, it's pretty much the only thing about the Grey Wardens that Duncan has been completely forthcoming about). So how is it that Jory has gotten this far into the selection process without considering that this might be a bad career for someone who is pants-pissingly terrified of darkspawn?

By the way, Jory, having a home free of darkspawn is a privilege, not a right, as I'm sure Urist could tell you.



Now Urist knows what a flower looks like! (The flower grows in several places in the Wilds, but since this is on the path that one would have to follow to check out Rigby's clues, this is probably the one that most players end up picking up.)



And just around the corner is the first group of darkspawn that Urist has seen since her ordeal in the Deep Roads! (And the first group of darkspawn that most Origins see!)

Does Jory wet his pants? Almost certainly!



This first group of darkspawn bagged Urist two out of the three vials that the group needs. Not bad, for a bunch of trainees!



About here is when I decided I was going to show off how traps worked. Without remembering that Urist would need Level 2 in Stealth to set traps without alerting enemies (which, by the way, are those red spots on the mini-map. I am amazing at Dragon Age: Origins.)

One darkspawn gangbang and subsequent reload later...



Well, there's the tree-bridge that Jogby was looking for!

Jory, meanwhile, is shitting his pants as we speak.



All this stupid trap is missing is a tin can that says “DARKSPON FUD” on it.



Sometimes, the best thing to do is let two enemy mobs fight it out, and then mop up whatever's left. Especially since the wolves and darkspawn would have gladly put aside their differences in order to kill that cowardly whiner Jory, and whoever happened to be standing in his general vicinity.

Soon after scraping darkspawn goo into the final vial needed for the Joining, Urist and company happen across Missionary Rigby's camp.



… What was I saying not too long ago about happy families?

Well, at least Urist didn't have to be the bearer of bad news. Especially not to the kind of guy who feels the need to make a passive-aggressive jab while writing his will.

“... and that it is still sealed shut when it reaches her.” We'll see, Rigby. We'll see.

Trap Demonstration, take 2:



Urist still got spotted when she set that trap, but at least this time the darkspawn somehow completely forgot where it was while they were running towards her.

(The stealth-and-trap game has its rewards, but mostly wide-open spaces like the Wilds don't give you many prime opportunities.)