air_show
elementary my dear baxter
I asked myself, cheekily, as I picked up a five dollar monster movie that looked very much like something churned out to ape Godzilla vs. Kong and a few days later with a friend I watched:
This god damn fucking piece of shit. I mean my god. I don't know what it was but based on the Aslyum I've seen it was not Japan's Asylum. No siree. It was something else. And let me say, I can now say I truly have witnessed the true nadir of Kaiju storytelling. Like nothing I have ever seen, not the visible strings in Megaguiras nor the various bullshittery of Gamera's early-middle films can even hold a candle to the bad trip nightmare that is any scene involving a big monster in this film. Despite the disarmingly cool-looking monster designs on the cover it is an ugly, nonsensical, often offensive to the eyes experience to watch. And I feel very problematic in a number of ways.
But. Ok. Here's the thing.
I don't think I've ever enjoyed human performances more in a kaiju film. Like, seriously, almost every single actor is giving it like ten thousand jiggawatts and the plot is truly, astonishingly bizarre and cartoonish while also occasionally shooting for completely unearned emotional moments, and also sometimes having a really sharp sense of self-aware humor? Like at one point in particular we had to pause because the joke made us laugh so hard.
So I don't know what to say, man, mans, mans and womans and thems out there like... this is a bad movie. Really awful. You should not watch it.
But also maybe do because the human parts are actually pretty amusing?
Holy mother of god this is the Anti-Kaiju film spoken of in prophecy!
This god damn fucking piece of shit. I mean my god. I don't know what it was but based on the Aslyum I've seen it was not Japan's Asylum. No siree. It was something else. And let me say, I can now say I truly have witnessed the true nadir of Kaiju storytelling. Like nothing I have ever seen, not the visible strings in Megaguiras nor the various bullshittery of Gamera's early-middle films can even hold a candle to the bad trip nightmare that is any scene involving a big monster in this film. Despite the disarmingly cool-looking monster designs on the cover it is an ugly, nonsensical, often offensive to the eyes experience to watch. And I feel very problematic in a number of ways.
But. Ok. Here's the thing.
I don't think I've ever enjoyed human performances more in a kaiju film. Like, seriously, almost every single actor is giving it like ten thousand jiggawatts and the plot is truly, astonishingly bizarre and cartoonish while also occasionally shooting for completely unearned emotional moments, and also sometimes having a really sharp sense of self-aware humor? Like at one point in particular we had to pause because the joke made us laugh so hard.
So I don't know what to say, man, mans, mans and womans and thems out there like... this is a bad movie. Really awful. You should not watch it.
But also maybe do because the human parts are actually pretty amusing?
Holy mother of god this is the Anti-Kaiju film spoken of in prophecy!