Let's Play: Wild ARMs!

Hooray, I'm caught up with an LP I didn't know existed until two days ago! I'll admit that the only Wild ARMs game I've played (and beaten) is 3, though I've watched a friend of mine play this game and 2, and they seem like pretty good games. Great LP so far, by the way! I hope that trend continues.

The Dragon Quest equivalent of Slow is Deceleratle.

If you want to increase the resolution of the images without introducing artifact, upscale them using a Nearest Neighbor algorithm. You mentioned GIMP earlier. Are you resizing these manually, one at a time? You poor bastard. Get IrfanView. Then go to File > Batch Resize/Resample > Advanced > Resize. Make sure the "Resample" option is deselected, then go back and hit Start Batch after fiddling with any other options you want.

Uh, no, I switched to just using Irfan's screenshot mode, and that's the size of the pictures natively. I shrank the last couple of composites so I didn't waste tons of screenspace.

Glad to see this one back. I haven't played the original Wild ARMS in years, ever since I sold my old PSX, as the game seems to do weird things when I try to play it on my PS2.

I suppose I could get it on PSN if I ever had a hankerin to replay it.

What's that? My LP is on the third page? Madness. I'll have to fix that.

----

Welcome back everyone to this installment of the Wild ARMs LP. As a fair warning, there will be a lot of Princess Bride jokes in this one, for reasons that shall shortly become obvious. Sadly the party doesn’t have a Fezzik. Poor Fezzik.



Now that we’ve cleared the Centour segment of the game, this little supply wagon shows up by the Elw Pyramid to Port Timney. It sells the basic Heal Berry plus all of the status ailment heals. It’s a nice thought, but you could just teleport out to Timney or back to Baskar if you needed items.

Right, well, both Elw Pyramids connecting Timney to Centour have those strange poles connecting unreachable spots.



Just like in Lolithia’s Tomb, yep, and just to get that completionist’s sense tingling.

Anyway, Stoldark butts in again to tell the party that Timney is host to the Lightning Guardian (curiously forgetting to mention that the area is also host to something else, by the way), and fades out as the party strolls out into the Timney area proper. The town itself sits on a little peninsula abutting a largish desert to the west. As with Saint Centour, there’s two Elw Pyramids in the area, the one that links to Centour, and the second one which is blocked off by a Duplicator door. We’ll get to that soon enough, but first we need to check out Timney.



Town Theme: Town

Timney is in desperate need of an urban planner, albeit not quite as bad as Milama is, and is separated into two screens; one hosting the town proper, and the second hosting the “Port” end of Timney. After checking into the Inn and refilling SHOOT’s guns, a quick loot run (A Crest Graph being the most valuable thing I find) and shop-check reveals nothing of particular value since Timney is host to the same tier of gear as Centour.



Is, is that right? How many levels does it have? It’s not a proper MazeZoo of Death unless there’s a secret fifth level to it!

The rest of the villagers aren’t terribly helpful, besides gossiping about a blundering sea captain named Bartholomew and his rivalry with another family of sea peeps’ named Drake (Bart is probably a reference to Bartholomew Roberts, and Drake a reference to ol’ Francis Drake), and his strange taste in women. It appears that half the eligible women in town are in love with Bart, and yet, he’s hunting for a woman to marry still (And no, Bart isn’t Humperdinck. He wishes he was Humperdinck, probably).

To wit:



One of the sailors wandering around does mention that Bart’s gotten a hold of a strange statue of a monster though, so we pretty much have to talk to the man himself at this point.



If I don't stop drinking, it's going to get the better of me. The [Crystal Bud] is in the [Maze of Death]. I hear there are many monsters in that place. Who am I going to get to find the entrance in the desert to the west and retrieve the [Crystal Bud]? Drake's going to have a field day when he finds out. Ever since I found that Guardian statue, weird things have been happening.”

Bart, believe me when I say you have other more pressing problems at hand. Much, much more pressing.



SPELL: The statue is here, I know it... We must get this [Crystal Bud]...
Then we may get a chance...

[They speak with Bartholomew once more.]

Bartholomew: Pride forces me to get the [Crystal Bud]... I made Drake believe
I was getting married and that I would...”

He then asks if we’d be so kind to retrieve it given that we look a wee bit tougher than he does, and the party says yes because being statue thieves is apparently a step too far.

Before we head out to the ZOO OF DEATH there’s still one last thing we need to check out in town;



Oh, that’s very...nice?

Blowing up the crates to the north frees some random guy stuck under them;



You know, I just blew up a gigantic wooden crate you were stuck in with magical explosives. You should be a meat slurry, not complaining.

SLASH: What are you doing? Aren't you a little old to be playing hide and seek?

Man: Yeah! No no no... Ha, well... I was being reprimanded. ...Well, thanks
for the help. I should thank you in some way...

SLASH: I wonder what he did...

[The trio watch as the man approaches one of the rich folk, runs past him
very quickly, and then promptly returns.]

SLASH: You're a pickpocket!

SPELL: We won't take dirty money.

Man: How PC... Who cares how I earn my living! Money is money. Fine, I'll go
return it... You'll regret it.

[In a flash, the man does as he is told and returns the loot.]

Man: Don't look at me like that... I only steal from the rich. They're usually
really dumb. Just distract them a little and they're defenseless. Even novices
can learn to pick a pocket. Just distract the target. Thus
concludes my lesson on how to pick a pocket...

[He walks off.]

OZZIE: Strange guy... He knows his trade I suppose...

SLASH: [to OZZIE] Hey OZZIE, let's give it a try.

OZZIE: Are we reducing ourselves to stealing now?

SLASH: No! You're going to take a look inside the monsters' pockets while I
fight them.

OZZIE: Hmm... I'd have to go inside their pockets. Who knows what they keep
in there...
/drumroll
SLASH: If it works, we'll be like treasure hunters.

OZZIE: We already are... Remember?!



And there you go, one FFVI joke, courtesy of someone. My bet’s on the localizers.

Oh, and you know how I said that the Crest Graph was the only thing of value in town? I lied. Turns out there’s another Duplicator hidden behind one of the shop guys that you can’t just walk around to get.



You can sneak behind him by walking along the back edge of this house here however, snagging the second Duplicator we can get at the moment (which will come in handy next update).

There’s not much over in the Port part of Timney, there’s a few ships docked but the only one we can actually board is Bart’s, the Sweet Candy.



/facepalm



And there’s the intact Guardian statue (for once).

That pretty much wraps up what we can do here in town, so the next stop is the Zoo of Death in the western desert.



We have a slight problem however, as the Zoo isn’t out in plain sight. In any other game, this would entail a pixel hunt of sorts as you look for some distinguishing feature to point you in the right direction.

Wild ARMs is a little nicer than that.



Waaaaay back during the prologue bits I mentioned that the game zooms in as you get closer to map locations. It does the same thing even if there’s no visible tile for the location either. So once you see the screen start to zoom in, just start wandering a bit to find where it zooms the most, and bam, nameplate.

Dungeon Theme: Cold Darkness

Right, so here we are in the Maze Zoo of Death. This dungeon has two gimmicks. One being the puzzle and layout of the dungeon itself, and the second being the way to access the secret boss at the “end.” The Zoo is basically a wheel shaped loop; we enter on the south end on the top floor, and our eventual goal is to flip a series of switches going in a clockwise loop. The end of the main dungeon is then off a sidepath coming off four o’clock or so.

There are a few complications however;



This is the main foyer just past the entry, and it presents a major PITA right off the bat if you don’t have a map of the dungeon somehow because of those big stones. They block off exits out of the foyer if you don’t push them from the sides, so if you want to say explore both the north and south exits on a side you have to go to the middle, push that block out of the way and then go in a door (south goes back out, north goes to the save room for the dungeon). Then you can go back over and push the block out of the way and go in the other door.



That’s the save room, and my, does that north wall ever look suspicious. I can’t bomb it open, though, so maybe it’s something that’ll come up later like those strange metal pillars from the last few updates.

Anyway, the dungeon’s puzzle is to basically flip a series of switches and then go through the final hallway to claim the Crystal Bud. The fastest way to clear the dungeon is to go in a clockwise manner from the entrance (so head left and follow the “wheel” around flipping switches as we go). This is complicated by the fact that most of the treasure is off in sidepaths like the extra exits on the left and right in the foyer, and that while the dungeon loops going clockwise the opposite is not true; at twelve o’clock where the two paths meet the left side comes from above the right path, and features a drop ledge into the adjoining path.
That means if you don’t know the dungeon layout it might take you forever to make your way around the place.



These are the switches we need to push in order to advance; there’s four of them (two on each side), and all of them happen to be off on their own little paths as well. The treasure isn’t all that much to write home about at this point; mostly gella and stat apples although I picked up SHOOT’s second shield somewhere that I can’t remember.



The battles aren’t terribly challenging at the moment either; with me having fully upgraded the Hand Cannon and put a bit of work into the Prism Ray there’s not much the regular encounters can do to me at the moment since none of them feature any insta-kills. Those jewels are the most noteworthy monster in the dungeon though because they drop tons of Gella per kill compared to pretty much anything non-boss we’ve fought till this point, and they go down easy as well. For the moment, this is the best place in the game to grind for cash if you need it especially considering the convenient placing of the save point and exit.



So, right, final hallway, or perhaps the FINAL DESTINATION mwa ha ha *cough* sorry. You’ll note that I haven’t pushed all the statues yet because it’s been a few years since I played last and forgot the dungeon layout. So I spent an hour wandering around a place that should have taken me fifteen minutes tops. And it has no boss! Did I mention that? I also wonder if this Zoo has a secret floor like the other famous Zoos of Death (not to be confused with the Zoo of Deaths)?



Huzzah! We’ve got our fancy marriage coupon! *click*

Bwuh?



This is the wrong genre, it’s supposed to be a swashbuckling romance, not some pulpy action story!



Haha, we win, no crumbling temple can stop SPELL and her Escape’n ways...though why didn’t she just deposit us outside?

Ninja Secret Update Start: Goddesses of Death Are So Overrated

You know how I mentioned the Zoo of Death doesn’t have a boss? I lied. Anyway, picking up the Crystal Bud pulls a Raiders moment since no one had the forethought to bring a pouch full of sand with them and starts the temple to collapsing. Once you pick up the Bud, you have three minutes to get the heck out of dodge before the Zoo collapses forever and you get Beni’d. If you know where you’re going, this is not a problem, and you can barely make it out in time. However, if you have the Escape magic, you have enough time to access the secret floor of the Zoo and a couple of snazzy Crest Graphs along the way.

But to get there, you have to go back to a certain place; the save room. Apparently all that wall needed was a good ongoing collapse to weaken into a bombable wall, and through we go!



This is the middle part of the dungeon that you see during part of your roundtrip pushing statue-switches and can’t get to; it makes the second hint you’re likely to see that indicates that the Zoo has more to it than you can initially access. I didn’t cover it because I forgot to screenshot most of the dungeon since I was too absorbed in trying to remember what to do exactly (this LP is all off memory, so far anyway).



You have three minutes to snag the two Crest Graphs I mentioned at the three and nine o’clock wheel “spokes” and navigate a set of twisty rooms and corridors to arrive at the Zoo/Temple’s sanctum, wherein a floaty bit of white light awaits us.



Oh....kay?



Boss Theme: Battle Against Mid-Boss

Meet KaliChaos! I’d bet dollars to donuts that yon four-armed blue lady is Kali and not a certain other Hindi deity who often gets the blue skin ‘n boobs treatment in Japanese vidya games. My Hindu-fu is pretty weak compared to other mythologies (and I use that term with its actual definition, not the Christian-perjorativized one), so I’d have to defer to shivam on that one. What quick research I did does indicate that she has a relatively well known blue skinned incarnation though. No heart grabbing here, unfortunately (I told you guys this is a swashbuckling romance!).

Chaos here is the first truly challenging boss in the game that we’re not allowed to lose to (see Berserk, fight one), simply because she hits like a truck and inflicts random status ailments when she does. To the entire party. Goddess of Death indeedy, and the only reliable method of preventing status ailment shenanigans is in the second tier of magic; there’s a particular spell called Lock State that locks the party in their current status for three turns that would pretty much halve the difficulty I’d have in this fight (seeing as she still does the whole MASSIVE DAMAGE thing).

Oh, wait, SPELL’s pulling out that white robe she was wearing all the way back at the Abbey.





And that is why you should always hang on to all of SPELL’s old shit, because you can pull shenanigans like that. Once you get Lock State in place, the fight devolves into a rhythm of SHOOT blasting her in the face for 1k explosive bullet damage, SLASH er, slashing, and SPELL healing and occasionally renewing Lock State via Mystic’ing her White Robe.

Our civilization, bound by chaos, has turned your world into a [Temple of Death], where nothing survives. Innocent One... Release me from this land and use my powers to revive the dying land of Filgaia!”

You could infer that Kali/Chaos here is referring to the Demons, but in actuality she is probably referring more to the Elws, and their lifeforce-based tech. This will come up again later.



And SPELL gets her next level of magic Rune, and I’m pretty sure the Death rune summons are the only battle-wide insta-death skills the party gets.

Escaping once again, we pop back out into the desert;



Only, there’s no place zoom to indicate that we can enter the Zoo again! That’s right, the Zoo is a one time dungeon. If you don’t nab Chaos and the hidden Crest Graphs the first time, you’re SOL.



You would not believe what we had to go through to get this! Crazed goddesses of death, collapsing Zoo Temples of Dooooooom--



:|

[You agree; the three of them join around Bartholomew to see what he has to say.]

Bartholomew: The [Crystal Bud] is a token of engagement in these parts. I'm a fish out of water when it comes to these things. It's nice to meet you. I'm Capt. Bartholomew.”



[However, when Drake lays his eyes upon the object in Bartholomew's hands...]

Drake: That's a [Crystal Bud]!!! When did you...

Bartholomew: Good timing, Drake... Care to smell my [Crystal Bud]?

[Everyone laughs.]

Drake: Don't get me wrong Barthy, but even if you have the [Crystal Bud], you still need a mate... Where do you think you're going to find someone to marry your ugly mug?

[Drake and his two friends laugh.]

Bartholomew: Are you blind?! She's standing right next to me! You dumb baboon...

[Bartholomew grabs SPELL's arm and pulls her next to him. SPELL looks around, confused. Drake and his friends laugh.]

/facepalm



She looks way older than your preferred age group.

[Bartholomew nods in SPELL's direction.]

Bartholomew: Of course, her! I'm sorry she's above your normal standards...I mean, having two legs and all. We're getting married soon.

[Drake cracks up laughing; his two friends roll on the floor in laughter.]




[Almost unable to contain themselves, the two lackeys get off the floor. Drake turns to Bartholomew.]

Drake: OK, there you have it... I look forward to tomorrow's festivities.

[He finally leaves, dragging his friends along with him. Bartholomew grabs his head and shakes it.]

Bartholomew: I did it again... Me and my big mouth...

SLASH: [steps forward] Ha ha! What in the world are you going to do now old boy?

SPELL: [steps back] Excuse me... but we're on our way... to...

[Bartholomew raises his hand resolutely.]

Bartholomew: We must go through with it. The wedding... I must deceive them or I'll be laughed out of town.

[SPELL shakes her head in worry.]

SPELL: No... You don't mean... You shouldn't lie, you know... I can't...

Bartholomew: [steps towards her] It's too late! You're in on this till the end. Either way, they will think you were in on my scheme. I shall give you the tour of my ship, [Sweet Candy]! We must plan for tomorrow.

[The screen blacks out and then opens up again with Bartholomew talking to the
three aboard his ship.]

Yes, his ship is really named Sweet Candy, and yes, Drake wasn’t kidding earlier. Bart here is rather broadly hinted at as a closet pedo, both in these cutscenes and by the people in town most notably by all the women chasing him.



Scenario Theme: False Wedding on the Sea

There are many special rules the sailors of the Inner Sea must follow. One rule is for the groom to provide a place for the ceremony to occur. Don't look at me, I feel guilty too. Well, the fake wedding is tomorrow, regardless. You guys read up on our customs by tomorrow, okay.”

[The scene blacks out and opens up again with SPELL talking to SLASH and SHOOT
in the cabin.]

SPELL: I don't like this!



SLASH: Give it up, Princess! Because of this, we were able to get onboard the ship. This is the only way to get to the statue.

SPELL: I think you're having too much fun.

SLASH: The wedding is tomorrow. Shouldn't you be reading up on the [Rules] or something?”

So Bart proves himself to be an easily pushed around dumbass, and promptly embroils us in his little inter-family intrigue. With a fake wedding. At sea. Curiously enough, if you talk to some of the NPCs here on the ship (which you’ll need to for the right answers for the upcoming wedding) and some of the Port Timney NPCs, they mention that women handle all of the ceremonial and ritual duties for ships and sailors partly because the Sea Guardian’s a girl (dragon) and partly because since all the men tend to be out on ships, the ladies are the only ones left to do the ceremonial stuff. This includes wedding ceremonies, so if you were to say, run a wedding ceremony for sailors without a woman at the helm (so to speak), it would be invalid.

This will come up.



Once you talk to everyone you feel like, you can talk to the sailor in the room you started out in to push things along. Also notable is an Adlehydian carpenter named Tim, who in no way might be important to a certain sidequest I keep talking about. Once you’re done this moves the event out onto the deck (and is where the wedding theme properly starts);



That priest doesn’t look female to me Bart. I don’t think you’re fooling anyone. Anyway, what follows is a series of binary choices that reflect one of the traditions of the sea; the first is who steps forward first. Since this is a ceremony, and women head the ceremonies here (or not), SPELL steps forward first. The crowd laughs anyway.



The correct answer here is obviously Olivia, since this is a fake marriage. Again, the crowd laughs (no matter what option you choose).



Another obvious question, everyone knows who Bart is. Again, laughs follow.



Another softball (and seriously, Sweet Candy?).

The correct answer here is the Old Moon, because it has a constant course through the sky unlike the New Moon and so is a symbol for reliability and constancy. Besides, it’s not like some random tidbit like the New Moon having an erratic orbital path will be important in some way later, right?



Correct answer here is right hand, not surprisingly, given the whole sinistra/dextra (left handed/right handed in Latin; Sinistra is the root word for sinister, unsurprisingly) deal which seems to span cultures and continents.



Another gimme.



I forget the basis for this one, actually. Pretty sure it’s that Bart’s actually Bart the VIII, making 8th the correct answer here.

[Insert screen of next question here, as I appear to have capped the Number question twice, stupid me]

Priest: For the happiness of today, praise the name of the Sea Guardian.
*1. Lucadia
2. Arcadia





This one doesn’t matter, because all of a sudden, the music changes and a mysterious voice speaks;



Zed’s Theme: Wh-What?

[ Everyone cheers one last time. The cheerful music stops. A stranger's voice interrupts them...]

????: Stop, right there.

[ Everyone points to the front of the ship. Trumpets blare. Out on the bow of the ship stands a peculiar, green-haired man with his back to us. His orange scarf blows in the wind.]

????: Ha ha ha! I have it this time...

[He turns around and raises his hand defiantly in the air.]

????: My name is Zed. I will hack the statue into pieces with my blade.

SLASH: [steps forward] The statue of the seal! Is he one of the demons?

Zed: I'm feeling great today... And so does my blade, heh!



[Zed jumps onto the deck in front of the priest; SPELL whips off her dress.]

SPELL: He's lively, all right!

SLASH: No, he's just dumb.

[Zed bows his head.]

Zed: You, so-called warriors, will die before your sacred statue.

[He grips his sword and holds it in front of his face; a battle begins.]



Boss Theme: Wh-What?



Zed is a pretty simple fight. He does lots of damage to a single character, or a modest amount of damage to a single character. His special attack this time is called Garyuu Ichimongiri; I know ichimongiri is probably “One-thousand cuts” but garyuu escapes me although Google Translate suggests the kanji for “Self-taught” for it. He’s a wild and crazy guy anyway, and serves in much the same capacity as Gilgy does in FFV for the party seeing as he’s a Gilgy expy.

Like everything else so far, he eats explosive bullets and dies, but not before making me use up my precious Revive Fruits on SPELL. Again.





Next time, it won't be so easy.

SLASH: [steps forward] I'm glad we fought well against that fool. We saved
the statue.

[Two men, one of them Drake, come hurrying back to the screen; apparently
they had run off during the commotion Zed had caused.]

Man: Oh no! Here too!!”

At which point we regain control of the party and walk through the crowd towards the back of the ship where the statue is being stored.



Lady Harken: So... I have to work after all.

SLASH: That fool was a decoy!

[Lady Harken raises her hand and allows her scythe to materialize into it.]

SLASH: Geez...

[SLASH runs forward to strike at her, but she blocks it and sends him flying backwards.]

Lady Harken: So, you're an expert with Fast Draw, huh?



[She leaps forward and slices the statue in half; the upper part falls to the ground and vanishes.]

Lady Harken: You don't deserve to die by my hands...

[The demon leaps into the sky and vanishes; meanwhile, the voice from the broken statue speaks with SPELL.]

Guardian: Even if the seal is broken, my wishes will be carried out by the Innocent One. Take my power and let the battle begin. I am [Nua Shacks] and I will fight by your side.

[The Thunder Rune is acquired.]

SPELL: The last of the seals has been broken. We can not stop the resurrection of the Mother. The [Tear Drop] my mother gave me is going to be used to destroy the world... No, I can't let that happen. It's my duty to reclaim the [Tear Drop].

SLASH: [aside] Lady Harken... Does she also use the Fast Draw...



NEXT TIME: Shenanigans, Scouters, And Tired Nerd References

Actually, it's just that this is question #8, and the guy is supposed to be asking you what number question it it. Odd, as a couple of them aren't really questions, but still...