Smellier than a steaming turd! LETS PLAY SUPERMAN ON THE NES!

Angry Superman on a Subway is the BEST Superman on a Subway

I figured, knowing this shitty game, that it would yell at you for trying to get on the subway as Superman, make you walk all the way back to a place to change back into Clark, and then have a bunch of bad guys in front of the Subway you can't fight unless you are Supes.

Superman riding the subway trying to look normal in his tights is more awesome.

Because Superman is invincible, so all the development time is spent trying to figure out how to make players feel like they're Superman without making the game too easy. Apparently the solution is to make a game that sucks.

Conclusion: It really sucks to be Superman.

I honestly don't know how one would make a good Superman game. The only resource you could limit would be time.* Maybe make a sprawling Metropolis, Spiderman 2 style, with multiple crimes happening at once? Make it so you can fly from one end of the city to the other very quickly, but have to carefully balance how much time you take wailing on thugs? That doesn't sound like much fun either!

*Or possibly Superman's loved ones.

I think I heard about some Superman game that did exactly this. If Metropolis suffered too much damage or whatever at the hands of criminals, the game would be over, but Superman himself is invulnerable as ever.

Don't know what happened to that though.

Superman is weak against magic.

Put him in a fantasy world.

Final Fantasy vs. Superman.

Done!

It's easy to make a scenario where you can be Supes and still have a challenging game.

A friend of mine keeps saying they should make a Superman game set on Apokolips. While Supes is still strong there, the nature of the planet greatly weakens him so he's not invincible.

And some settings makes Superman not all that invincible either. While he isn't really -injured- often in the Justice League cartoons, he is still knocked around (or knocked out) quite a lot by common villains.

Funny thing about the cartoons: Supes always gets hit with this crazy attacks that knock him through buildings and shit, but Batman, a mortal who would die if he just got stabbed, always manages to dodge all the energy beams and shit, even though he can't fly and doesn't have super speed. So I guess what I'm saying is that Superman must be a really shitty fighter who's lucky he's indestructible.

It was the game based on Superman Returns. It was kind of fun, except that a lot of enemies required throwing things at them to deal damage, and throwing things involved destroying them, meaning you ended up doing as much damage to the city as the whatever you were fighting.

Which got annoying as hell near the end-game.

What fun is an open world game where you get penalized for blowing shit up? Good on paper, but flawed in practice.

Just do something there you have to do stuff up against time limits. Oh no, bus full of kids about to go over a bridge AND the volcano is irrupting at the same time! Can you save them both?

Or better yet, don't be for reals Superman. Just be, I don't know, a super man. Is there something that's like City of Heroes meets GTA? Is that basically Crackdown?

The Agent is more like Captain America then Superman, but yes, that is pretty much it.

You can say he's Early 1940s Superman, though.

You could also play inFamous.

Yeah, if you're going to make an un-super Superman, you might as well use another superhero.

I want a realistic Daredevil game. They could just license DDR; react to the sounds as they scroll down the screen. Left, Left, Punch, Kick, Right, Punch, Left etc

I want a realistic game starting the Oracle for PC. There's games made for keyboard + mouse and then there's game made for keyboard + mouse.

That's because he's (EVERYBODY!) the Goddamn Batman.

And that is kind of the joke, namely that Supes is essentially an untrained farmboy who just hits people really f'n hard.

I have a bizarre affection for this game.

What It Feels Like To Be Superman

What it feels like to be Batman.

- Eddie

p.s. Superman doesn't dodge their punches because he feels sorry for them.

Most companies in New York provide subsidized subway passes for their employees so I'd imagine Metropolis is the same. The new ones for this month probably just came in to the daily planet and Jimmy is in charge of distributing them.

Also, wow, I've never gotten stuck on level 2. I believe it's usually level 3 where I can't figure out where the hell I'm going.

I know you're just baiting me to go off on a rant about how Metropolis isn't New York, but I'm not going to bite.

Even if I just did.

Dammit.

I'm pretty sure its a glitch that wasn't letting me progress. Like I said, I beat the level in my test run and rather easily at that! Next update though, things take a TURN.

Last time on Lets Play Superman On The NES:



And now the exciting conclusion!

So after talking to the FBI morons I exit the building and exit left to the next screen. Theres a ladder there that I forgot to screen shot but its a ladder I ASSURE YOU.



So I guess we're in the sewers now. Can you feel that in the air? Its electricity. Hey look, some water! What sort of underwater adventures will we have...




Oh.



Haha, good thing we didn't actually do that then or I'd have had to start all over again. Again.



Anyway, the sewers are a straight shot so I make my way to old city...



...go to the fish mart...



...AND WHOOP SOME ASS. Actually, this is me whooping some ass again because I didn't make screens the first time. The guys change for some reason! The first time you fight the racist, Mario looking Chinese caricatures we saw in the last update. At any rate I head outside and talk to the guy thats located to the left of the door. A fire?! Even though water is as deadly to Superman as kryptonite is in this game, Aquaman is nowhere to be found so I guess I'm on my own. I should talk to the guy on the right of the door before I go though...



Anything tips before I leave fuck face?



Well okay then!

So I fly to Lafayette (located two hot spots above Old City) and take a look around....why THANK you random lady, I AM doing a good job! And I DO like pizza! If you weren't a nightmare creature born of terrible pixel work I could see some some magic happening between us!

Also some guy (gal?) reminds me that I can leap tall buildings. I...okay. And I guess the other guy lets me know I'm in the right place. Nobody seems all that concerned about a fire though.

Mainly because there ISN'T one. Thats right! Thats FUCKING RIGHT. Once again the game has failed to trigger whatever event was supposed to trigger next to let me progress. After wandering around for a bit...



...and kicking some ass...what the heck are those? Can someone please tell me? A shirtless furry and a blue turd monster? Whatever.

After wandering around for a bit and kicking some ass, I discover there is no fire. None. Nothing is going on at all in Lafayette. And you know why?



This fucker here. You see, after foiling the plot at the fish market I was supposed to talk to him first. He'll thank me and then make a quip about how the fish was about to spoil, which is about as close to a genuine joke as you'll get from this game. But no, I talked to the OTHER guy first. I get the warning about the fire but I guess since I didn't technically finish the first mission I'm left with:



Yeah.

And the game doesn't even give you any hint that theres a problem! But now that I know where the problem lies and having thoroughly shown off the level, I think we can consider this one done! Woo hoo!



Well you see Lady Liberty...



Yeah but its like this...



SHUT THE FUCK UP LADY LIBERTY!



So yeah, woo! Glad that level is over with!

Next time on Lets Play Superman On The NES:

B^U}

Anyway are you still continuing this LP, Donny?

Oh, for sure. Especially now that level 2 is (for now) out of the way I can get to the real meat of this LP. I was just poking fun at how long its taken me to update this.