No need for a witty title: Let's play the Philips CD-i!

Rinaldi's long lost cousin?

Either way, I kinda want to punch the guy who drew these things in the throat.

I did color these, but that's not the most important part of this video. In this song, each instrument gets its own solo, which you get to pick. Again, let's go over some key moments.







Poor drum, it gets literally stepped on for its solo.







And last, but not least (To haunt your nightmares)



and as a special bonus, an extra video!



With the exception of the cowboy and horse, I left this one untouched. The rest of the videos (Old McDonald, a few Spanish ones, the ABC's) are pretty normal... well, for the CD-i anyway.

And that's pretty much it for this game. Please reply with requests for the next game :-)

(I also wanted to mention, the GIF's are lower quality because I wanted to try and make them larger. If you don't like it, post and I won't keep using them, or I'll try and make them shorter.)

Leia?

I hope you mean the drawing itself, and not my coloring :-(

I do mean the drawing itself =)

There's got to be laws against playing your own anus in kiddie cartoons, even if you are a tuba.

I vote for Golden Oldies 1 or 2. I want to see what their idea of "oldies" was on a CDi in the mid nineties.

I think I may have already lost focus with this LP. I just came to another shocking conclusion that it's hard for you all to nominate games because you have no idea what they are. I think I'll just end up picking them from this point forward.

I'm also thinking of removing some of the games from my initial list, because they are much harder to LP then I thought. For example, while "The Joy Of Sex" is really funny to watch, it does not have any real "game" element to it, and makes it hard to comment on anything. I may just upload the footage to my youtube account, but just link to it here instead of going through it by detail. Also games like "International Tennis Open" are really bad but there is not enough things to comment on. I'm pretty sure none of you want to see "Wow, the controls suck!" repeated over and over.

As for the next game I'm going to post, it's probably going to be either Moses: The Exodus, Noah's Ark, or Voyeur.

For Moses, while AVGN did kinda cover it in his last Christmas video, there is a bit more comedy gold to uncover that he left out (As anyone who saw the full "Moses and Me" video on my youtube page will attest to). Noah's Ark is in the same vain as the Moses game, but is even more whacked out. Voyeur is political/murder mystery and, shockingly, a pretty fun game (and very NSFW, something I know you all will appreciate).

So yeah, I'm going to refocus this thread on really "playing" a game, rather than just interactive content or movies. If anyone wants to see those other children interactive games then post and I'll see if it's worth it, but I don't think anyone is enjoying it, so there's no point in doing them.

Pyramid Pursuit!

Sorry for not posting more updates; Being in College, having midterms, and trying to play a shit load of CD-i games, it can be a bit problematic. But in any case, let's play Pyramid Pursuit!

LOOK HERE FIRST
Before I begin, as there are no subtitles for any of the characters, I uploaded their voice overs to youtube. It's just the audio, so scroll over the pictures and if you see a link you can right click and open it in a new tab to hear it, then close it when it's done.

With that out of the way,

Included with the multimedia children bible CD "Moses: The Exodus".



We enter the pyramid. If you're wondering who the character we're controlling is... I can't tell you, because the game does not say. I assume it's really us (the player) going in, somewhat breaking the forth wall.



Everything seems okay so fa....



AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Great, now we're trapped. The only way out is to use our wits and God... mostly God.



Alright, the narrator did not help us, so it's up to me to pick where to go. So let's go left.



The women said that a man that "needs" help is to the left, so he must be important.



Sorry, I don't give handouts. Straight means "yes", and going right means "no", so I had to go right.




And now starts my first in a series of errors. I get the shit beat out of me, and put somewhere else in the pyramid.



The frog is probably a leftover from the plagues, so we're going to go straight.



A slave gives me some very useful advice! I go left.




Thanks a lot slave! Now I'm about to be stabbed thanks to you! I try to swing my CD-i remote in the air to get him away from me, but then I realize that it's not a Wii and that won't work :-(

So instead of going left, I go right and...



Really, what the fuck is with the voice overs in this game? Did anyone think this was good? Really? What the fuck.

But I digress, next we go right.



Danger? We'll then I have to go left!




Well, the narrator said God could help me across, but I don't trust him/her/it. So down the hole I go!



And I'm dead! What happens now?

Up next, the thrilling conclusion to Pyramid Pursuit!

Scroll up for part 1!

So now we have to start all over again, this time we are set up against the begger.




This time, let's help him out.



So I did not slight God this time? Sweet!




The alternative VO for this room is "If you're a queer, go right"



Sorry bird man, there is only one God for me! Let's go straight...



Another set of "WHAT THE FUCK" VO. Let's go left, just to annoy these two.




Look at that light! We must be getting close!



Look, you have me kinda interested, but God needs me so I have to go left.



YES! Nearly there! But oddly enough, while you can go straight ahead, you can BACK OUT and go into the Pyramid again... why? Who would want to do that?



We are free! Now we can join the rush out of Egypt! Now you may be wondering why we were in the pyramid at all since we were just going to leave Egypt anyway... well...



Look! Moses!

And that's the end of this one folks!

That - that's it? That's the game?

How much did that cost back in the day?

It's a small part of a larger multimedia CD-i disc. There is a longer "movie" about Moses, and other odds and ends (like songs, connect the dots, coloring)

For a CD-i itself, most models went for around $500 (Not counting the Digital video addon, which cost another $250). I'm not sure about the game.

But, but...

A wise choice is a straight one!

Okay everyone, now that we went through a bible game it's time to delve into everyone's favorite game genre, Gambling Soft-core porn! Let's play Vegas Girls!



That's the title screen, and no, it's not you, the sign is messed up. You see Philips, who published about 90% of CD-i titles, had nothing to do with this one. And as you see the clips later on, you'll know why.



So first, we have to enter a passcode (have to keep the little kiddies out of course). The default is 1234.



And now we can play! We have a wide selection of games to choose from, from blackjack and dice, to a nice game of fruit machine!

But before we do any of that, let's pick a girl first.



This is how the game works: You pick a girl, then play one of the "Vegas" games. After that you have to win a certain amount in each game, and if you get enough chips you get to see your girl start stripping. Each video is split into several parts however, so you have to keep playing the games to see the goods (I however got around this, as you'll see later).



So the first game we play is Blackjack. Seems normal enough, just a normal game of 21.



Got 11, feelin' frisky so I double down



And boom! I win! And I bet enough that I automatically get the first clip!

NSFW CLIP 1

Don't see much yet, but we gotta keep goin'!



Next, we got dice.



And I win again on the first try! It's like the game just wants me to show clips!

NSFW CLIP 2



Now we have roulette. Again, pretty simple. This time, I bet 500 down on both even and odd, so I win no matter what, and...



I won again! I get another clip!

NSFW CLIP 3



How about some fruit machine? If only this was made by Apple :-(

We pull and the leaver and...



I guess I won again? I don't know, coins came out, but I don't know what I did. In any case, it gave me another clip.

NSFW CLIP 4

So now we have one last game to play, Poker.



There's only one problem though, it's totally broken. It's completely random if the game will save your selected cards, or just change them anyway.



By the time I did win, the game decided to crash so I could not get the last clip... until I put the CD-i disc in my computer and used ISO buster to rip the MPEG clips out.

NSFW CLIP 5

Now, I was thinking about uploading them all to youtube, or another file sharing site, but really I don't think there's any point. It's just a women stripping, nothing more. Also, the music they put behind them is so WRONG that it made me laugh out loud.

So since they were behind a blue screen, I made my own music edition of the "Vegas Girls" women showing there stuff, as it were.

MUSIC EDITED BLUE SCREEN NSFW CLIP

And that's it folks, got another one coming up, I think/hope, tomorrow.

EDIT: Turns out, Youtube does not like women stripping. Someone flagged the clips and Youtube sent me some warnings about them, so I took them down.

But I want to make it up to you all, so I uploaded all the clips into one RAR file and put it on Mediafire

So here's the new link!

I never understood the appeal of porno games. I mean if you want some porn, go get you some porn. Eliminate the middleman, you know?

At least with CD-i, you get to "see" something. If this was a 3DO, you would have only got women dancing, no "Tit or Vag" is it were :-(

Not like I've played 3DO porn games or anything, or studied them for future youtube videos >_>

After showing you all that smut in "Vegas Girls" (And the other softcore games I have lined up), I think I need to be redeemed by God to save this thread. So while I work on the other games, here is a song from the game/movie/multimedia disc "Noah's Ark"




Or as I like to call it, "U and I are Lifepartners: The Movie".

Enjoy! :-D

Alright, I got one more video to post, then I'll start posting full game LP's again (Provided anyone cares, there's few comments so I don't know if the games I'm picking are any decent. Please, tell me so I know what to do or not do.). Also, sorry about removing the Vegas Girls clips from youtube (they gave me warnings), but I uploaded them on Mediafire, so the link above should be fine)

But I think this song gives Zombie Dinos a run for its money

Hey now, I care! I've just been following along silently since I didn't really have much to contribute beyond "lol wut" or "this sux". I think you're doing fine.

On another note, the summary for Girl's Club! PARTY! left me lollin' hard.

Yeah, I'm having a blast watching these.

Admittedly it did get pretty awkward last night when someone I don't talk to often asked me what I was doing and I told them I was watching someone else's record of playing a porn game over the internet. But that's part of the fun!

Back in 1995 (when this game was released) porn was less accessible. Especially to those under a certain age that might own a CDI.
That being said, I've never actually played a porn game so I have no idea what the actual appeal of them is other than nudity and I guess some small level of interactivity with said nudity.

An update about my updates: It's going to be a few days before I can post another video. I was going to post a CD-i marketing disc from 1993 (And all the weird Newspeak Philips was doing with retailers) but the hard drive I had the videos on decided it was a good time to stop working.

I was able to recover most of my files from the drive, but the CD-i rips, being high quality MPEG2, were too big and got lost. As a result, I have to go back and rip all the games I had lined up again. This time I may just make a video LP with commentary, but I don't know yet.

In any case, don't worry, I'll have more coming up :-)

Part 1: Enjoy!

Holy crap.

OH MY

Is sex supposed to be purple and in slow motion? Have I been missing out on something?

Ugh, the voices.

*gets the book*

*hits self with the book*

The Joy of Soy?

Yeah, I posted this at 1 AM, and I got a bit lazy with the image ;-).
For anyone wondering why the video looks a little off center, it's because it's in PAL, and my TV tuner acts weird when playing the videos.

Later today, I'll post my commentary and more videos from it. If you think this one was weird, just wait :-D

And a teaser for part 3 ;-)

Most of you will like this video after 2:56 minutes in