For DOOM the Bells Toll. Let's play... Deadly Towers!

I am increasingly certain that this game was either: A) a cry for help, or B) a last "Fuck You All!" to gamers everywhere by a bitter and burned out designer.

So ... you basically have the choice of when to upgrade the difficulty of the enemies? You should do it again and burn every bell as soon as you get it. Keep it hard core, man!

Only the monsters in the Castle seem to upgrade, not the towers, and most of the upgrades aren't very dramatic (the Pac-Man Ghosts turn into fire-breathing anenomes, which is the single BIGGEST upgrade, and they're actually less dangerous, since they slow down).

Woo! Looks like I'll get to see what is past the second or third boss of the boss rush!

Let's put the game to bed, and let the healing begin:

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The Path to the Final Tower isn’t anything particularly exciting. It’s the exact same as every other Tower Path, except the monsters are different colors then usual. The Golden Bats don’t seem to fly into you as often as the black kind do, and the ghosts kind of remain motionless, or at least move very slowly. You’d think Rubas’s last line of defense would be a little more heavily fortified.



At the end of the Path is the final Treasure: The Sword of Splendor !.
Yes, that punctuation is correct.



The Splendor ! is the single most powerful weapon in the game, and is the only weapon capable of defeating Rubas. So it’s kind of weird that he would have it right outside his room.

Also, you can’t really appreciate how powerful the Splendor ! is, since there is literally nothing between you and the final boss now.

Speaking of, let’s see about that Boss Rush I mentioned:



Final Boss Fight Round 1: The Dragon.
The Dragon is pretty much the exact same as the Centipede boss from earlier, except vastly more powerful. He moves around the screen in a fairly eclectic pattern spewing flame. Thankfully, and contrary to every other snake-like monster made up of multiple segments in every video game ever, he isn’t vulnerable in just his head.

Though his movements are largely randomized, he rarely seems to enter the center of the room, making it the ideal place to attack him from.



Final Boss Fight Round 2: The Lion Heads
No sooner does the Dragon die then the Lions appear. The heads DO follow a pattern as they cruise around the room, but they move faster then you can walk, and are too large to effectively dodge much of the time. Luckily, unlike every other boss, they don’t counter-attack with fire, so collision damage is their only defense.

When they’re on the top of the screen, you’re free to let loose with all the blasts from the Splendor ! you can. When they cycle to the lower region, only the dead center of the room is safe, and even then, only briefly. I had to use some of my Red Potions to survive the battle.


Final Boss Fight Round 3: Rubas

Finally, Prince Myer comes face to face with the Devil King: Rubas.
Rubas: Who terrified God so much that He sent a mortal to slay him.
Rubas: Who lives at the highest part of the Cursed Tower.
Rubas: Who walks in a small circle shooting disembodied heads.

Lets kill his ass, shall we?

As I just mentioned, Rubas walks in tiny concentric circles, filling the screen with projectiles. His power is enormous, even with the Splendor ! and his attacks are capable of heavy damage even through the Hyper Armor. Such a foe is beyond your very reckoning.



Of course, I have that Blue Necklace which makes me totally, totally invincible, and lasts more then long enough to kill Rubas without taking a single point of damage.




And so, quite anti-climactically, Rubas perishes and takes the whole of the Deadly Towers out with him.

What could be a better, more fitting end to Prince Myer’s tale then a slow text-crawl ending?


lasted for about 1000 Years, when the devil was reborn.

So yes, the game ends with a sequel hook that never came to be resolved. Unsurprisingly.

Oh thank Kahn, I was worried he wouldn’t.



Except that in 1000 years Rubas will come back. Not so much then.



Mr. Nagasu, you’ve ruined my life.

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And so ends the tedious, dumb, poorly programmed ordeal of Prince Myer. He climbed an ass-load of towers, some more Deadly then others, burnt some bells and the killed a wizard while invincible.

WOO!
I never want to look at this stupid game again.

Great Let's Play. Now for God's sake play something less soul destroying. Like Pit Fighter.

The game's just building suspense. Like the end of Castlevania II or Mega Man 2.

You deserve it, soldier. Now take a nice, long break before you end up driving yourself insane!

Oh lord, I'm sorry, but it has to be done.

Ahem...

"KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! "

(I feel dirty).

Conglaturations! Great LP! Now please, for the love of god, go play a GOOD game!

Ok, now on to something less infuriating.

I Wanna Be The Guy, anyone?

Time for a 600-part Urban Champion LP, Octoprime.

I never made it past the Lion Heads. But only because I had to go home for dinner. My friend said he defeated them, but didn't make it past the next guy (who I think he called a witch).

Good job.

Octo-man, I applause your capacity for self-abuse.

Hey, you'd do the same after twenty years of getting hit in the head by Marvin Suggs!

Hell's bells! The images have been repaired for this, the Dark Souls of video games.

If Loki is taking requests, I would really love to be able to read the Tombs and Treasures LP again.

Thanks for letting me relive my Trauma, Loki.