Submit your resume now for a position on the board of SpiteAir!

I called this meeting here today to propose increasing our already outstanding 50% overbooking policy to 90%, effectively ensuring that each and every plane take off full! The minor annoyance of passengers unable to get onto flights they bought tickets for will be trivial compared to the potential in revenue loss from no-shows.

Wait, what do you mean we don't have enough space in the conference room for all the attendees? Alright.... well, half of board can attend the meeting, the rest is on standby for the next time we have something to discuss.

Damn it guys, way to overshadow us hobo's, who will work for way way less than all you fancy-britches with your HOUSES, and CARS and RESUMES...and...and...BATHTUBS.

And you don't have hands-on experience with stuffing as many people into railroad cars and cargo planes as the hobo-class. Salt of the earth, I tell ya. Once stuffed 16 people into a bus bathroom stall and still had room to shut the door so we wouldn't get kicked off the bus. I tell ya, all that wasted space with legroom, elbowroom, breathingroom...all money waiting to be made!

But only with that special Ponzi touch.

- P. J. Ponzi

*True story. note that I was standing on a cabinet with my back against the ceiling rather than being one of the unfortunates down at toilet level.

Is there anyway we could make the flight attendants more... abrasive?

People already get on to flights expecting a tedious, if not unpleasant, experience. We should FOCUS on this!

I propose we hire entirely from the ranks of thrice-divorced ex-showgirls.

Hey, I'M an articling student! In fact, I'm at work RIGHT NOW!

And just in case I don't get THAT plum job:



ajr82- http://www.gamespite.net/talkingtime/member.php?u=685

Education:
- Read Michael Crichton's Airframe, 2000

Aviation Experience:
- Ridden in jet airplanes
- Ridden in non-jet airplanes
- Experience with flight-simulating amusement park rides, both swing-around and shake-your-seat varieties

Tie Colours:
- Blue
- Green
- Purple
- Black

Wait, you mean airlines DON'T?

What, no yellow? You call yourself an articling student without a yellow tie???

... kids these days....

EDIT: Okay, screw a "manageable" board - everyone who replies in this thread by Friday will be a director, with a majority of votes cast in any vote being enough for a motion to be passed.

As a result, first motion: WHEREAS the Corporate Colour of SpiteAir LLC will be _________________________.

(Pick a colour, any colour - at least, any that can be rendered with the SNES)

Pink, a furious pink that will sear the eyes of our competitors.

LOKI “REMBRANDT” FRANKENSTEIN
213 Octopus Way • Denver, Co • 80247
Home: (555) 635-9229, Cell: (555) 922-9536 Cooltendo@gmail.com

Objective:
Make some money and maybe not have a plane crash into the superbowl.

SUMMARY: Remarkably gifted robber baron with huge background in the day-to-day management of thousands of underpaid and overworked child laborers and supervision of a sycophantic Board of Directors.

Summary of Qualifications

Over twelve days experience.
Designed the Elgin E-474 and rescued daughter from terrorists even when nobody else even believed I had a daughter and thought that I was just crazy.
Profound experience with collaborative or consensus-based decision-making for personal gain.
Exceptional familiarity with airplanes, helicopters, and those awesome jets that can take off straight up.
Can recognize sixteen different brands of airline peanuts by texture alone.
Ability to throw spectacular temper-tantrums if things don’t go my way.

I will be an invaluable asset to your crappy airline and I didn’t want to be a part of it anyway. Shut up! You’re stupid, you stupid-stupid face.*

*Please disregard if you’re interested in hiring me.

Toasty Frog Green, of course.

Naturally. What better choice is there?

Pink? Purple? I don't know, I'm not the artistic one.

Pink, the color of a DEATH frog.

The idea is that, since we're running SpiteAir as an extension of Gamespite Industries Inc., we should use one of the company's colors (green, orange) for the SpiteAir logo for extra familiarity. Best way to get awareness is to borrow the success of the parent company, right?

Not necessarily! We have to evaluate our parent organization's branding and consider the impact such close association will have on SpiteAir's corporate culture. This is sensitive stuff we're dealing with.

I still vote green, though. Color of money.

I didn't think the parent was successful - I just figured Parish is a crazy billionaire like Richard Branson.

Name: Son of Sinistar

Education: In Progress

Experience:

-Flown planes in personal simulations
-Worked in high level positions for simulations before, notably mayor, warlord, and God

I vote for green as well, it will help hide the plane wreckage should it fall to the ground.

MEMORANDUM

TO: Ample Vigour
LOKI “REMBRANDT” FRANKENSTEIN
Elfir
Octopus Prime
Red Hedgehog
dwolfe
Destil
criminallyinane
Hughbert Kennedy-Rockefeller IV d/b/a ThornGhost
CJ Awesome
Dr. Brickroad
PapillonReel
ajr82 (also, corporate counsel in waiting)
Son of Sinistar

FROM: S. H. Mascarenhas, corporate counsel to 11382042000 Delaware Inc.

RE: APPOINTMENT TO BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Congratulations on your appointment to the board of SpiteAir!

From this point forward, you will be presented with notices of reports from your counsel, which you will have the option of voting on. Our first resolution regarding the corporate colours of our new Airline has already been brought to your attention; please note it and enter your choice.

Commencing Monday, you will be presented with data relating to where we will initially choose to set up our "hub", or home base. This is the location from which we will attempt to take over the airline world. Voting on that resolution will commence Monday and terminate Wednesday.

Per the corporate by-laws, in the event of a deadlocked vote, the deadlock shall be broken on a rotating basis per the order of your names above: as a result, for the first vote, the Hon. Mr. Ample Vigour will have tiebreaking authority and his vote will carry the motion in the event of a deadlock*.

* - Note to ajr82: I *think* this would be valid per the OBCA, as scary as it seems.

Yay, the board has been decided so now I can post in this thread without fear of responsibility! Woo!

Hey, if I wanted to be on the board of anything, I'd be doing something with my business degree. Like, you know, being employed.

Motion to make green with pink spots shall be our airline's color. For simplicity's sake, it can be depicted as just green when necessary.

I simply must reafirm my stance that a garish pink is the optimal choice.

I like the way Elfir thinks.

Also,

Don't ask me, my Bus. Org. prof mumbled his way through the worst set of powerpoints I've ever seen.

I can live with this compromise. All in favour?

Aye, green sounds good. If we need a second color, I don't care.

I'm down with pink.

I am also for this compromise.

Green it is.

Okay, bit of a briefing on how the game works for those of us who haven't played it before: you essentially run a stripped-down simulation of an airline (in our case, SpteAir thanks to the idiotic seven-character name limit) and attempt to gain the #1 market share in each of the following regions:


- North America (Canada and the US)


- South America (Mexico and all points south)


- Europe


- Africa (really just northern Africa; we don't have to worry about connections to JoBurg)


- "The Middle East" (a strange grouping of Iran, Iraq, Pakistan and India)


- Asia (the Pacific Rim, more or less, with Guam and Saipan added)


- Australia (with several of the Pacific Islands, such as Fiji)

The first thing to do is select a "hub" city in each region - they're the ones marked by the green dots. For the sake of actually wanting to win (esp. since we're playing on the hardest scenario), that means one of three locations: North America, Asia or Europe. It's *possible* to win via Cairo in later scenarios - I've done it a couple of times - but, well, just look at Africa. Flying 10,000 passengers per month is usually enough to win there, but you can't make money off such low volumes.

Ignore that there's actually numbers on the screen in Asia - I had to start a dummy game to get the screencaps.

One thing to keep in mind: the game tries to at least pay lip service to political considerations, so as we're going to be playing...,

... that scenario, the Cold War is still in effect. Picking a communist country will make it VERY difficult to operate in non-communist ones and vice versa. Which is fine on lower difficulties (where you can ignore a region politically unfriendly to you, such as commie-hating North America), but we have to win *everywhere*. So we'll leave out most of the Soviet Bloc when choosing our hub, as well.

Now, the reason that the hub is so important is that you can only fly from region to region through either your main hub or a branch hub - and you only get one of those per region. So, again assuming the Tokyo scenario above, I can fly routes from Tokyo to London, New York, Sydney and Cairo - but I then can't fly from Tokyo to Paris, LA, or Perth, since I'd already have flights to other cities in those regions.

That becomes important because the big tradeoffs in this game revolve around distance. The longer a plane flies, the more money we can charge on the route (and, of course, the more fuel expense we have - that'll be important later, trust me). On those longer routes, we generally have to use bigger planes, so it all kind of balances out. But the big worry is that of limited range; simply put, there's a lot of routes that can't be flown by any airplane in the game.

I suggest we have a hub in London.

And I base this suggestion entirely on the fact that I am watching Doctor Who right now, and London is where the episode is set.

This... I COMMAND!

Catch with London: it doesn't have any really long domestic routes (longest one, I think, is the London / Athens route, which is a good tourist route).

A substitute might be Hong Kong, which is still part of the Empire in this scenario. I'll list all the hub candidates later.

What're the Canadian hubs like? Having one in Vancouver might make it easier to branch into Asia while still giving you parts of North America. Europe's a bit of a problem, but we could work around that later.