Dash! Dash! Dash! Let's Play Goemon!

Actually, you're not too far off. YOU'LL SEEEEEE....

Also, update tomorow people!

I remember playing through this game when it came out, when I was first developing an interest in Japanese culture, so it gave me the most fucked up idea of Japan that I could get. Not that it's been disproven, really. What you can't really illustrate in this thread is how fantastic the music, though. Seriously, it has to be the best soundtrack the N64 ever produced. Shame how the series eventually became Gackt'd, like most everything else I love.

Aside from Goemon's Great Adventure, at least. (Though, er, we'd need the vocals back.)

The DS Goemon entry was supposed to bring the series out of that, wasn't it?

too bad nothing ever came of it, because it's a really cool game.

also: beautiful!

So let's finish off Oedo Town before we head to Fuji:




So I guess we know where we're supposed to go after we finish with the castle.



Whoops. In his hubris to get going, Goemon accidentally jumped into the water below. I hope his clothes don't shrink lest he look like a very manly Japanese schoolgirl.



What's that in the distance? Why, it's a lone platform with something on it! What could it be??????



Why, it's a silver lucky cat statue! Much like Pieces of Heart in the Zelda games, if you collect four silver cat statues, Goemon and co.'s maximum health will increase by one heart. That's pretty boss if you ask me. Best of all, when Goemon find one, he says "Rock Salt!" Hey I don't hear you offering any suggestions of what it could be.



In Japan, the Maneki Neko is also known as the Lucky Cat or the Fortune Cat. Needless to say, it was thought to bring the owner luck, and is often associated with monetary gain. Needless to say, many business owners put the statue at their entrances to get customers. It may appear that the cat is waving, but in Japan, opening and closing fingers with your hand up like shown is the gesture for beckoning someone over. This also works for getting customers into businesses, as the cat is waving for people to come in.

Chapter 2: Okay, We Get It, The Bad Guy Likes Peaches



So let's make our way our of town the only way available to us. This leads us the the Kai Highway. This is the first area with hostile enemies. Looks like we're going to have to fight.



This is the most basic enemy. It looks like a peach wearing a pink dress and bow. It basically fights using the Goomba style of martial arts by trying to bump into our hero at every turn. Since all enemies are seemingly coated with acid like in most games, we would take damage if we let this happen.



Goemon's basic weapon is the pipe. Nothing more needs to be said about it, as it doesn't really have any other special properties. Goemon gives little peach thing a whack and it explodes. Well that's special. When I hit a peach with a pipe, I just get juice squirted into my eye.



This is a flying dragon head...I guess. It's sometimes hard to tell in this game. For this enemy, you have to jump AND attack AT THE SAME TIME. Complex!



When we destroy enemies, sometimes Ryo appears. This probably didn't need explaining, as most games of this type follow this mold, but dammit this is a Let's Play and I WILL treat you like a complete idiot. Okay not really, but I empathize if you feel like that whenever I try to expound on every little detail.



Goemon also has a second weapon by default. We can throw Ryo at enemies. This way, we can kill enemies from afar, but to do this, we need to sacrifice some money. I usually don't resort to this tactic, but it has some uses. Incidentally, comparisons to Setzer shall be in vain.



Also an obvious design paradigm. However, this one is interesting, as they actually use dumplings instead of hearts to restore hearts. I'm not sure I personally would want to eat a dumpling from of the ground, if only because it could have been Takoyaki from Octopia. (If you guys don't get that reference then you are no friend of Talking Time.)



In the middle of the field is the coffee shop. It seems a tad redundant to have a coffee shop so close to the Oedo one, but whatever. ***INNOVATION ALERT*** Did the shop locations everywhere thing hundreds of years before Starbucks did. Remember that this is the Feudal Era!



This nice gentleman is willing to sell us a map of Japan for a price. That would be great!



No, Ebisumaru didn't have to do his naked dance to get this.

Well that's just swell.



If we step outside, we can open up the map to see what it tells us...and...it doesn't really tell us a whole lot. I think we's been hosed.



Well, at least something useful is in this coffee shop. We will be able to restore our health here with some stamina dumplings. Convenient! Good thing there are so many locations of Star...er...I mean nameless coffee chain in Goemon.



So THAT'S why the enemies exploded! And I thought they were just to make the game look cooler. Yay continuity!



Ah yes. Impact. We'll hear more about him later...




This will make much less sense later.

So! Let's head for Fuji! The other door on the far end of the highway seems to be the only place to go.



A different colored peach! Ewww. Throw it out. But seriously, this one is different in that it holds a gift box that opens and shoots metallic orbs at Goemon. Geez they aren't even moving that fast. You need to bulk up, Goemon.



But before we enter the door, we will take a detour and snag another silver cat off the beaten trail. ROCK SALT!

Next Time: Chapter 3: Objects in Video Game May Appear Smaller Than They Actually Are

That's... not it's official name? It's a play on words? I have no idea?

Just got in on this thread, and I'm digging it. Good humor, good gaming. Silent snake is alright in my book.

Now I want to draw a picture of Link nonchalantly picking up bloody monster hearts off the ground and eating them to gain his health back.

I wish I could draw.

Chapter 3: Objects in Video Game May Appear Smaller Than They Actually Are



This, ladies and gentlemen, is Mount Fuji. It is the tallest mountain in Japan as well as a volcano that hasn't erupted in hundreds of years. Also, it is the go-to image when you want to say "Hey look! Japan!" Well guess what?



Yup! We're in Japan! As you can see, our destination is Mt. Fuji. And guess what? It's the biggest mountain. The game said so! Of course, given that we can see more than half of the base of it right now, I'm...skeptical.



So up until now we've been using Goemon since he's the hero as well as the default character. But with the push of a button, we can swap characters in an instant. With a puff of smoke, Goemon becomes...



...Ebisumaru! Fully clothed this time, but I'm guessing he's not really happy about it.



Right, so we start scaling the mountain by climbing this ladder...wait. Something doesn't seem right about what I just said. Hmmm...maybe I'll put my finger on it later.



Now we come upon a new enemy type, a doll...thing that shoots out metallic orbs.



As you can see, Ebisumaru's default weapon is a hammer that vaguely looks like a piece of meat on the bone. Which might explain his, uh, girthiness, though it's a miracle that he still hasn't eaten that one. He probably knows he has higher priorities in this case, like beating that dragon head...thing.



After taking out the trash, we run past the ladder (hmmm...) and jump over to the next plaform to find another doll to destroy and another doll and pick up another Silver Fortune Doll. Just one more and we'll have another heart. Ebisumaru doesn't say "ROCK SALT!", but something a bit more nonsensical. Much like Ebisumaru!



Now that we've climbed the ladder, we're on another wooden platform. Huh? Who put these here? Anyways, we see a couple of gaps in the construction that we have to jump over. And is that a boulder over there? Yes. Mt. Fuji has infinite boulder generators. It's almost like we're inside some sort of pretend game of some sort...



Speaking of that, we come to two different ladders. One going up and one going down. Since we want to go up, we take the ladder that goes down, naturally. It's just LOGIC.

And what we find is a golden dumpling, good for restoring all your health. Personally, I don't think eating gold-plated things is generally a healthy idea, but hey, it's a mystical time for a mystical ninja.



Since we got the item, we now take the upper ladder to find more holes in the walkway and another doll. I would imagine Ebisumaru never usually does this much jumping normally, but then again, we haven't seen how physical his naked dance is yet, so who knows.



Climbing another mysterious ladder, we come to a complete walkway, but this time they're rotating about an axle...but no, wait, they're rotating ON NOTHING. But surely there must be some mechanism...oh, no, nothing but wood. Now wait just a darn...oh hey! An enemy! Must smash...



And we come to the entrance to a cave. But wait...isn't this a volcano? Isn't there lava in there?



Oh hey. A cavern in the crater. I'm not dead! Wait...a killer accordion...thing?! Crap. On an aside, notice that there are a lot of...things in this game? Yeah. It's weird.



Hooray! We made it past the thing! Okay, it's official. Thing is officially a technical term for this game. Mark it down.



Remember the nonsensical rotating wooden platforms? Well, here's some nonsensical rotating stone platforms! Serioiusly, what is that powered by? Lava power?



After some more accordion things, we make it to the exit. Good thing, too. Ebisumaru was getting cooked like the eggplant he looks like.



And we eventually end up here at a cavern with some snow. It must be the snow cap! We must have made it! (Feel free to paste in some mental pictures of some more walkways, ladders, and doll things before this picture. Go ahead. I'll wait.)



Inside is...a house. Far be it from me to question where the pipemaker builds his house, but it seems as if directly above a crater full of lava wouldn't be the wisest decision.

What? Scaling an active volcano? Psh.



You're running a pipe shop. What do you think I want? The other thing? Okay. Sure.



Uh...okay...I don't think you needed to come to a volcano for that. Now about that pipe...



Now we're talking.



Hooray!





Creepy...but thanks regardless!



As you can see, Goemon receives the Chain Pipe. We will see it in action later.



So now we finish exploring the summit and find a pot full of Ryo...



...and another gold dumpling. Now it's time to go.



BASE JUMPING WITH ZERO CONSEQUENCES, BRAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Next Time: Chapter 4: It's What's On The Inside That Counts

This is a pleasant surprise.

I really wish this game would be on Virtual Console =(

I don't particularly care for smoking, but I have to admit that is one fashionable pipe. Extendable too, just like in those old cartoons isn't it?

Pink cherry blossoms. Purple kimonos.


See also: Hoteimaru from Far East of Eden. You apparently just can't have feudal Japan without deluded Christians coming in, trying to ruin everything.


Not only did the DS game un-Gackt it, but you can apparently find New Age Goemon beaten up in a jail cell. It's not often that a game represents such incredible justice.


Goemon wields a kiseru, a type of metallic pipe that often doubled as a weapon for thugs in old Japan. So if you were wondering why a guy would hit things with a pipe, it's not just zany; it's history!


This hearkens to Zenigata Heiji, a fictional Edo lawman who disabled criminals by throwing zeni (read: coinage). He's served as the inspiration for everything from Lupin III's Zenigata Koichi (who sometimes throws handcuffs) to the Coin Toss ability in Final Fantasy. (In FFVII, Throw and Coin are both learned from the Throw materia, but dummied out of the game is a materia that just teaches Coin. Its name? Law.)

Sadly, this is my first exposure to Goemon. Maybe I should stop paying homage to long forgotten dark lords.

You obviously haven't been in the pipemaking business for very long.

I can't believe I didn't know this. My shame is boundless.

I can't wait to see everyone's favourite giant robot. The Impact scenes are by far my favourite part of this weird weird game.

And in the Advance translation of FFV, the Coin Toss ability is known as Zeninage.

Also, Zeni = Zenny? I've read some of the MMBN LP, and never knew that its money was supposed to be a pun...

Yeah, Capcom has used "zenny" in a lot of games, to the point that I've encountered gamers who think they invented the term. Toriyama used it in Dragon Ball, too.

I am unspeakably pleased to see this back, this game is a favorite of mine.

I wish this extra ever since my N64 just stopped functioning for reasons unknown :[

the DS Goemon was the first DS game I ever imported, because I wanted to make a difference.

I didn't make a difference!

Heh, I remember playing through the whole of Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon via rental once. I'm sure I didn't see everything the game has to offer, but it was an enjoyably whacked-out experience, especially with the song numbers and canned laugh track. I'd love to see this game on Virtual Console, assuming they can emulate the Controller Pak support. I'm positive that most of the third-party carts supported the Controller Pak instead of having built-in backup more because the cartridges were already expensive enough to produce without it, instead of actually needing that extra space. Makes it kinda annoying to hunt down old titles when you don't have a CP, though.

The effort was appreciated

I managed to get Ganbare Goemon 2 on the SFC, and, uh, I can't remember anything as zany as this. Wow.

On that note: yeah, I wish I got this game when it came out. And cared more about controller packs then >_>.

Oh hell yeah, Goemon. I freakin love the Mystical Ninja games.

I even played through Goemon 2, 3, and 4 via emulation while following walkthroughs to understand what I was doing. Hell, I even ripped the SPCs from 2 and 4 which are still up at SNESmusic.org (I did 3 as well but apparently it's been replaced since).

It's much easier to see the evolution from the first SNES Goemon game, which we got, to the first N64 Goemon game when you've played the other SNES titles. Otherwise it's quite a leap. Ganbare Goemon 3 was probably the most like the Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon, and is also probably my favorite title of the SNES games.

This reminds me that I need to try and import Goemon DS someday. Especially hearing about their treatment of that god-awful New-Age poser. Being locked in jail is too good for that travesty.

Konami needs to return to this series.