This game are sick! Let's Play Final Fantasy VII!

In 1997, Final Fantasy VII took the world by storm. But, do I really need to explain this on this gaming forum? At the time, the game was state of the art and showed off what the Sony PlayStation was capable of, showing off incredible FMVs that were above and beyond what had been seen before. It might have been the seventh game in the series (and the fourth released in the US) but this was THE Final Fantasy that introduced a lot of people to the series. Including me... mostly. I had a copy of The Final Fantasy Legend for my Game Boy, but in an ironic twist of fate, that wasn't even a Final Fantasy game.

My story of how I got into Final Fantasy VII is actually related to not the PlayStation, but the Nintendo 64. In 1998, Ocarina of Time came out, and all that I wanted for Christmas was a Nintendo 64. That year, I got a PlayStation for Christmas instead. And since I couldn't get my coveted Zelda game, I instead picked up what I thought was the closest thing on the PlayStation... Final Fantasy VII. This might seem silly, the two games couldn't be more different! And you're right, they are. I didn't know what I was in for when I snapped that first disc into my console, but I was hooked. Many nights staying up crazy late to finish quests or advance the story. Finding friends with similar interests at school. Getting to know a whole new genre of game and going back to experience some of the older games I'd missed, like Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VI. Oh yes, this game had an effect on me.

Of course, the game had such an effect on a lot more people than just me. There's a reason why the second movie made with the Final Fantasy name was a sequel to Final Fantasy VII, there's a reason that there's been spin off titles, and there's a reason that one of the most highly anticipated PS4 games of all time is a remake of the first part of this game.

And yet, this is a very silly game as well. This is a game in which a giant feline dances around on two legs, a game where a robot cat riding a giant stuffed animal is seen as a perfectly normal companion, a game where if you swing your sword just right during moments of stress you can summon comets to shower your enemies, and a game where sneaking into an enemy base is as simple and riding on a dolphin's back. And of course, a game where you can have three things listed in one text box and every single one is just a little off...

Table of Contents

Disc 1
#1: Ex-SOLDIER? Don't Trust ya!
#2: Don't Step on the Flowers
#3: Walk more nicely, like... this.
#4: Golden Shiny Wire of Hope
#5: Something stinks...
#6: Who you callin' Mr. Barret? That don't sound right!
#7: I thought you wanted a briefing?
#8: You old folks are out of luck!
#9: You're pretty scared of me, huh?
#10: Young man, CPR, now!
#11: Stop that stupid horse laugh.
#12: ...the time has.... come...
#13: We're gonna go play...
#14: Cause I want to destroy everything...
#15: Thinking of being stowaways?

So, to start things off... we've got a few people to name, and a decision to make. I'll be recording the first video on March 9th to go live on the 10th, a month away from the Remake launch. So the first group here will need names by then. We have a character limit of nine letters for names.

First, we have Cloud, this former member of SOLDIER who was hired to help with a bombing mission.
Then, here's Barret, the leader of AVALANCHE who is performing the bombing mission.
And here's Tifa, the martial artist bartender and childhood friend of Cloud.
And Aerith (also translated as Aeris here), a flower girl from the slums.

Those four need names ASAP, but there's a few others we need to name, so name suggestions or votes will be open for them as well:

Red XIII is a research specimen when we first see him.
Yuffie is an optional character and a ninja.
Cait Sith is the aforementioned perfectly normal robot cat riding a stuffed animal.
Vincent here might very well be a vampire? But before the days of Twilight, so it's okay.
And lastly Cid here is a lover of space and tea.

In addition to needing names, before I start recording there's another choice we need to make. At one point in the game, there's a chance to go on a date with a member of our party. We have a few choices, so for the date, which of these four lucky folks is it going to be? I'll be taking votes for this as well because some dates require taking specific actions at specific points. So the four choices are:

The other names can be whatever as far as I care, but as a shout out to Ehrgeiz, I'm backing Django as Nanaki's Red XIII's new name.



Also I am in favor of you dating Barret.

Name Cid Elon, and take Yuffie on a date.

I'm assuming that Torzelbaum is seconding Mogri's votes?

If he isn't, I am. If he is, I'm thirding it.

Also, you should name Red XIII Nanaki, if only to render a future scene completely nonsensical.

No, I am not seconding that. I saw Elon and was reminded of that post.

WHAT'S UP, PARTY PEOPLE?!

NAME/DATE VOTES

Cloud: Floof or Floofyboi
Barret: Jackson or Samuel or Nick or Fury or Snake(s On a Plane)
Tifa: BestGirl; date TIFA! Big time vote!
Aeris: AniMom (I actually always prefered Aeris, but... Cloud =/= me)
Red13: BestFrend (that's probably too long, but he is BestFriend!)
Yuffie: WorstGrl
Cat Sith: Huglyf
Vincent: Batty
Cid: I was gonna suggest, "Musk" but I can go with "Elon" - it's pretty good, either way!

About 24 hours left to vote for names for Cloud, Tifa, Barret, and Aeristh. Also for the date, which Yuffie is currently winning.

For the flower girl, I'd like to suggest Aeri*, or Aerix if the asterisk isn't available.

Cloud: Clod or ProudClod
Barret: Baerith
Tifa: probably just Tifa
Aeris: Aerish
Cait Sith: Ruxpin

Noooooooooooo

Danger Will Robinson! Danger!

(I... may have been watching too much Lost in Space. )

Cloud: A Puppet
Barrett: Mr B
Red13: Silvers13
Cid: Sid

Reading over the thread, here's what I got so far:

NAME/DATE VOTES

DATE: Barret (1), Tifa (1), Yuffie (2)

NAMES
Cloud: A Puppet (1), Clod or ProudClod (1), Floof or Floofyboi (1)
Barret: Baerith (1), Fury or Jackson or Nick or Samuel or Snake (1), Mr B (1)
Tifa: BestGirl (1), Tifa (1)
Aeris: Aeri* or Aerix (1), Aerish (1), AniMom (1)
Red13: BestFrend (1), Django (1), Nanaki (1), Silvers13
Yuffie: WorstGrl (1)
Cat Sith: Huglyf (1), Ruxpin (1)
Vincent: Batty (1)
Cid: Elon (alt "Musk") (2), Sid (1)

EDIT: immediate edit!

That is a handy list, but I will say that I recorded the first video earlier today (it's currently uploading) so I recorded before Torzelbaum's names were added.

With ties I picked at random.

Oh! You started recording, but we can still break the thieving WrstGrl's stranglehold on the date! Rally, O, TRoTT! Rally to the cause of "date anyone but Yuffie!" XD

(Though I'm making a big stink about this, I'mma be happy with this LP, I think! Also, my distaste for Yuffie is exaggerated, though, as a D&D player, stealing from the party is a biiiiiiiiiiiiiigtime no-no, so. )

Insert Disc 1

The intro to Final Fantasy VII is iconic at this point. Aerith walking down a street in Sector 8 of Midgar as the camera pans out, before showing the backdrop of the city as the logo appears, before zooming in on a nearby train, before fading from FMV into prerendered graphics as your heroes jump off the train. They used it as a tech demo for the PS3, its the first remade 16-bit scene in Final Fantasy Record Keeper, the intro to Final Fantasy XIII is a big homage to it... this scene is a part of gaming history.

So the beginning of the game focuses on AVALANCHE and their mission, their 'Opening ~ Bombing Mission', if you will: a eco-terrorist group bombing a reactor that creates power by draining energy from the Planet itself. This Mako energy is more than just energy, it's the lifeblood of the Planet, and it's a bit more than that as well, though we'll get into that later.

Following this mission in Sector 1, the group heads back to their headquarters, and the next day prepare for a follow-up mission, a second bombing in a different reactor.


#1: Ex-SOLDIER? Don't Trust ya!
Wherein Red has plenty of time, points out the toilet, and shows there is gettin' offa this train we're on.


Names for Cloud, Barret, and Tifa are closed. Aerith will be closed when recording starts for the next video. The other five names are still open!

Woooooof. Painful to watch those bridges burn! XD

We're not here, yet, so don't forget to vote, "Anyone other than Yuffie" for dating!

:V

(I have top-tier humor, for sure.)

Today we finish up the bits in Sectors 4 and 5, meet up with a new party member, and then head into Sector 6! And I mess up a bunch in front of the new girl!

Also, we find that one guy. You know the one.

As a bonus, the speedrun by my friend Netara


#2: Don't Step on the Flowers
Wherein Red isn't named Sephiroth, plays around with a bunch of barrels, and fights an evil house.

My favorite FF7 run was when I named every male party member Sephiroth and every female party member Jenova. It makes the plot even more impenetrable, which is quite a feat given the game's translation.

Wall Market is a fun little minigame of an area in itself. The first time I played the game, I'm certain I did the bare minimum, and Tifa got chosen as the Don's date. Later on, learning that you can get Cloud chosen, pretty much each following playthrough has resulted in getting the 'full' Wall Market experience by getting Cloud so dolled up that the Don decides to make him his date for the night.

...yeah, some parts of Final Fantasy VII are just weird. I remember during my first playthough of the game I spent a lot of time talking with my neighbor about games, and I mentioned to him how I had to dress up like a girl to get further in the game, and he was very confused by this. Imagine this scene being put on the SNES with Ted Woolsey in charge? No way it would have made it intact.

But what I find interesting is just how rigged the game is toward Tifa being the Don's date. She's the baseline choice, and the key items you get affect your 'Attractiveness' score. Get to a certain point, and Aerith is chosen. Get higher than that, and Cloud is chosen... But if you were to go into it with none of this knowledge and pick your choices at random, it's very highly likely Tifa would get chosen.

Unfortunately for Tifa, I'm not really wanting to seduce the Don this time. Sorry! But I did still try to give a full Wall Market experience.


#03: Walk more nicely, like... this.
Wherein Red has a guy always in his way, gets all the cheap ones, and hunts down a special item.

We left off with the Sector 7 Pillar under attack by Shinra, who was planning destroy the pillar to take out AVALANCHE. While Cloud and Tifa take care of that, Aerith is off doing other stuff... which leads to our next mission. Where we find Barret's favorite wire...


#4: Golden Shiny Wire of Hope
Wherein Red is glad Barret worked on his arm strength, calls out young Aerith, and earns that hashtag first try.

Time to head into Shinra Headquarters. The headquarters is kinda fun because it's made up of a series of different tasks, like a frontal assault, a stealth section, different puzzle types, and even some good rare loot! The game knows that you got Steal available earlier and they made sure there would be some good stuff to get!


#5: Something stinks...
Wherein Red watches a secret car commercial, doesn't find the fake fight, and reminds you when it's time to flush.

Let's finish off the Shinra headquarters, where surely the real villain will be President Shinra for the rest of the game. Nothing will make the plot take a turn here, surely...

Also, you'll get to see what Red XIII's name ends up as.

And with this video done... we're out of Midgar! Yes, there is in fact more to the world than just Midgar.


6: Who you callin' Mr. Barret? That don't sound right!
Wherein Red has a jerk stop by uninvited, ponders what makes Midgar special, and is familiar with the Final Fantasy wiki.

Once you get out of Midgar, one next big story hurdle to get through is a visit to the nearby town of Kalm and listen to Cloud's flashback. It's a big chunk of story with minimal gameplay, and the gameplay doesn't require a ton of input, so it's a rare chunk of the game where you just take in the story. And of course it'll be important later on.


#7: I thought you wanted a briefing?
Wherein Red ignores the town, doesn't jam on the piano, and questions the monster in the tube.

Back in the day I used a Gameshark to put Sephiroth in the party permanently. He still wouldn't let you control him, but you could take all his materia and either sell it off for big money or just power yourself up like crazy.

From the Final Fantasy 7 wiki:
"PHS, or Personal Handy-phone System, is a type of mobile phone system that was common in Japan at the time of the development of Final Fantasy VII. In the game, PHS stands for "Party Henshu (Editing) System" (パーティ編成システム, Pāti Hensei Shisutemu)."

Today we have a video without much story progression. But instead, we'll be putting some of our tools to good use to pick up some Enemy Skills! Including an infamous one.

So, while on the topic of Enemy Skill, I'd like to discuss something. There are four Enemy Skill Materia hidden in the game. This wouldn't be a big deal, but there's a catch: Trine, one of the Enemy Skills, only drops from a handful of bosses, and one enemy you can only fight during Disc 2. You get the fourth Enemy Skill past the point where you'd fight that enemy.

You can save an optional boss until you have the fourth Materia... but you stop yourself from getting other rewards by doing so.

I'm going to opt for only getting Trine on three Enemy Skills instead.

Now, on to the video!


8: You old folks are out of luck!
Wherein Red doesn't impress the girls, gets a face full of missiles, and learns how snakes work.



If anyone wants to suggest alternate names for Yuffie, now's the time to do so!