Ain't He Unglamorous: Let's Play Questprobe Featuring the Hulk

Questprobe featuring The Hulk

So here's the deal. I'm not really into Let's Plays. But I kind of wanted to have an excuse to play the Marvel Questprobe series of games. And it feels like it would be fun to write about the experience. Mostly, I loved the idea of a text adventure starring the Hulk, a character who is much more visual than most. He's not really a detective and most problems he faces he solves by beatings, beatings with an object or throwing them into space. It will be interesting to see what kind of adventures Hulk has in a genre focused around collecting junk and problem solving. So if there are any unwritten rules I'm breaking in writing this, please let me know. I hope my ignorance of the form and format of Let's Plays and my ignorance of the genre in general (I've only completed three text adventure games and they were all Thy Dungeonman) aren't too much of a hindrance to enjoying this. Or maybe they won't be and it will just come down to my own basic writing ability. Hmm... in that case, maybe blame it on those first things. You know, to spare my feelings.

I should point out that there is supposed to be a visual component to this game, but I don't know how to find that version of the game (or activate the graphics or whatever is supposed to happen for pictures) so if anyone else knows please let me know. Otherwise, your going to have to use that stupid jerk known as your imagination.

Now onto context. Feel free to skip this part, as it isn't too much about the game itself but about the Hulk character and the creator of this game Scott Adams. No, not that one, thank God.

Let's start with ol' Jade Jaws. Now most of your get the whole thing: He's a science nerd who turns into a monster when angry, stressed, scared and/or generally upset. First appearing in May, 1962, co-creator Stan Lee noticed the popularity of the Fantastic Four's the Thing since he was introduced and realized that a monster superhero could headline his own book. At the time, Marvel was just starting to publish superhero comics again after a decade of finding success in sci-fi monster comics (in fact, supposedly the Fantastic Four was conceived in such a way that if the superhero angle didn't succeed, they could always backslide it back into a monster book, what with the Thing being on the team), so a second monster superhero just made sense. He and Jack Kirby made the character a mix of Frankenstein and Jekyll and Hyde and we're off to the races.

The series didn't last long though, with the book getting cancelled with issue six, being relegated to guest star status in other comics. However, after some time Marvel realized the character might have more of an audience than they suspected when they learned that a college made the Hulk their official mascot. Embolden with older readership, the Huk became a regular feature in Tales to Astonish, then got his own book again, which has had ever since.

The story of the character is as follows: scientist Bruce Banner and the army are testing a new gamma radiation-powered bomb when Banner notices that a young man has wandered onto the field. The youth is Rick Jones, who would go onto be a Marvel mainstay, bestie to many superheroes and, from time-to-time, a superhero himself. He also was a member of the Teen Brigade, a team of kids who... liked HAM radio. Really.

Reet, indeed!

Anyway, Banner rushes out to save the kid, unaware that there is a Russky spy in the base, who activates the bomb. Banner is able to get Rick out of harms way but ends up receiving a massive dose of gamma radiation. Because this is the 60's, instead of microwaving Banner or riddling him with super cancer, Banner found that he would turn into the Hulk... whenever the moon was full. Yeah, the character as we know him wasn't set in stone yet. He was grey and instead of talking like a Frankenstein, he spoke like a gangster (part of me things this aspect his attributable to the popularity of the Thing's gruff way of speaking and Marvel wanting lightning to strike twice.) But the basics were there: an angry super strong monster who would save the day despite his belligerent nature. He was powerful, could knock over foes by clapping his hands together, could leap long distances in a single bound and had the temperament (and later mind) of a child and demanded that everyone leave him alone.

The Hulk, for a while, actually had a secret identity, with no one knowing that he and Hulk were the same. Similarly, he even had a secret base in the desert, but instead of using it as a crime lab, it was a lab where Banner tried to find a cure for himself. Eventually, the secret identity was dropped and the world learned that Bruce and the Hulk were the same. Sort of. His friends and frenemies knew, but it seems like though there's no overt secret, people just don't seem to know that the Hulk sometimes turns into a guy named Bruce Banner.

The Hulk/Bruce went onto be somewhat nomadic. Sometimes he'd hang around with the army searching for a cure or looking to help them with some problem, but often when a villain or monster would attack, he'd become the Hulk again and would do stuff that would put he and the army at odds again. But most of the time, he was traveling the planet, occasionally getting shot into other planets, dimensions and the microverse, where he had a girlfriend (who tragically died). And that's about where the Hulk is at the time of the release of this game in 1984.

Scott Adams is a respected games designer who has made some notable text adventure games such as Adventureland and Pirate Adventure before his company, Adventure International, went defunct in the mid-80's. 3 Marvel comics text adventure games were released with a fourth (X-Men) cancelled when the company went belly up.

OK, that's enough of my hot air! Face front, true believers! This is were the adventure begins!

Here's the first image... but don't look if you want which heroes and villains will guest star in this adventure. Maybe you want to be surprised.


One of these characters is a new one on me...



Better be honest about this, like a real hero would.



200 words, huh? I certainly hope Smash is in there.



Wow, Romita, Gruenwald, Shooter... that's some real pedigree right there (even if Shooter was a bit of a tyrant as the editor in chief, by all accounts). I must confess I'm not familiar with Kem McNair but if he's the same guy as this (and he might be) he's a some sort of surfboard artist of renown. PLEASE let this mean that the Hulk goes surfing. Supposedly there's a comic tie-in AND an instruction manual with some good art in it, but I don't have access to those.

Anyway, we begin with our hero, Bruce Banner, presumably in human form tied to a chair.

You know what, good enough cliffhanger to me. Will Bruce Banner get out of a chair? Who put him there? Are the ropes made of manila hemp or sisal?

To Be Hulktinued...

NEXT ISSUE!: The Hulk appears and dies. A lot. I'm not good at this.

Originally Posted by Dracula

One of the names in the "series outline" credits jumped out at me - Bob Budiansky. This was the guy who created nearly all of the names and personalities of the original Transformers, and penned the first 50-something issues of the Marvel comic.

Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual

Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual

The version I'm playing seems to have no such colorful (the colours in question being white and purple) imagery, unfortunately. If someone can find the version with pics, I'm down for that.

When we last left Bruce Banner, he was tied to a chair. "What has the Hulk gotten me into this time?" Banner is no doubt muttering to himself. It's a situation that Banner has no doubt been in many times before, so surely he knows what to do, right?



Um... maybe he's not quite as good at this as he suspects. Our intrepid scientist thinks for a moment. "The Hulk could get out of here with ease. Perhaps if I was the emulate the brute..."



Worth a try. Man, I got to find a way out of here. I can't move my arms or legs. I can't shew through the ropes. What could I chew through... Oh, damn. This is going to hurt.



But it worked!



Wow, game, thanks. It was fun to be the Hulk (Todd McFarlane) for half a second before you took that away from me. Still, I'm out of my confinements. So I decide to take a look around.



Wait, you can't say you see nothing special and then tell me there's a friggin' gem in the room. WITH AN ASTERISK! That seems super special. Like, you made a note of how special it is for me. Anyway, I seem to be in a dome. Our mystery deepens.

Well, I'm hoping it's an Infinity Gem, but it's probably just a generic video game gem. Still, I take it. And everything not nailed down.



Great. I'm loaded for bear. Oh, wait, there's a ring or something. I guess I'll take that, too. No, wait, it is stuck to the floor. Oh, there's a sign. What does it say.



Oh. That's disappointing. The mystery is that this is a tutorial kind of thing and this is a computer game. But at least I know what my next goal is: collect the gems. OK, looks like it's time to head East.



OK, well, I'm not the Hulk yet, so I'm going to read that sign.



Thanks for the warning. I might be crushed if I just walked out there.

Well, I might regret this but let's press the button.



Great. A delay. That means I need to act fast. I have no idea how many moves I'll have to make in the hi-grav area, but hopefully it will be enough. I might need to dart back and forth between this room and the other one to solve whatever puzzle or trap is in there to press that button again.


Well... that was unfortunate. I got to see the outside world and died because of it. Maybe I did that wrong. But hey, I learned there's an afterlife. What does that sign say.



OK, Chief Examiner, but, like, you see how I found that button message misleading, right?

I'm just going to skim my next few moves here. I look at the fan. Pieces are missing. I press the button. Delay off. Maybe that works? Nope. Dead again. I try and die a few more times, each time I end up in "limbo", which you can just leave. This happens. Many times. Too many times. Then something occurs to me.



OH. It delays the effects of the gas. That's... not intuitive. To me, anyway. Well, I leave through the tunnel and my inhuman strength is able to bare the super heavy gravity. I grab another Gem and I decide to head North. What will Hulk find in this strange new place? Sorry, not a good cliffhanger, but I'll have a better one next time.

To Be Hulktinued...

NEXT ISSUE!: I'm going to do this again. But with graphics.

'Nuff Said!

Originally Posted by Falselogic

Those beautiful CGA graphics!

OK, let's do this again! JBear pointed me towards the version of the game with graphics. We know how most of this goes, so I'll try to hurry this adventure along a bit. Let's start with the title!



Wow, is that the Collector on the right? Spoiler alert, no it isn't. We'll get to that next issue. Anyway, like last time, we woke up tied to a chair.



Oh, and I didn't even notice that talented legendary creator and kind of an asshole John Byrne also worked on the game.

Anyway, just to change things up, I decide to bite my cheek instead. And we get the same results.



Yay! I turn into the Hulk! Fun times!



Aw shit! The Hulk is free! Now I can cause some real havoc!



Unfortunately, the Hulk has gas, and he's so over-powered by his own "gamma bombs" that he's forced to turn back into Bruce Banner.



Now I'm in a room with a big ring in the middle. Presumably if I can become the Hulk again, maybe I can left that ring and reveal something. I try as Banner and I'm unsuccessful. I read the sign again and get all my inventory again.

But before I pick up the mirror, I take a look first.



Bruce Banner is even white than I remember. A little more purple, too.



OK, let's go. I press the button again and bite my finger. This time I don't turn into the Hulk so I stick with the tied and true tongue. I turn into the Hulk and wander out onto the field.



Hey, there's the igloo I just escaped from. I pick up the gem in the field. And since I'm the Hulk, I should have some fun with his surly nature, so I decide to pick a fight with the igloo.



What? That's, like, the very definition of the Hulk (Todd Margaret). In the comics, there's a Green Cross charity dedicated solely to Hulk created damage. Granted, the Hulk doesn't always cause damage in moments of peace, but still, Vandal is the Hulk's middle name. The Vandal Hulk!

JBear, please do a Let's Play for Vandal Hulks, once I make and release it. Anyway, the game decides to spoil my fun so I'm taking my gem and going home. Let's go... North.



Um... Maybe North is not the best choice. I have been warped to a "fuzzy area", which is not the adjective I would have used. But the Hulk has been transfered to a land of impossible objects. There is a sign. Despite being the Hulk, I read it. It tells me "Leave gems. Score"

I leave my gems and check my score.



11 out of 100? OK, I can work with that.

Will the Hulk escape the mind boggling terror world of the art of somebody's freshman dorm room, right next to the picture of Einstein with his tongue out?

To Be Hulktinued...

NEXT ISSUE!: Giant ants! Energy eggs! Poison gas! And I die WAY too many times!

'Nuff Said!

Originally Posted by Loki

Is the bite tongue a trick you're supposed to know from the comics? Is that a common technique Banner used at will? All I know about Hulk I know from Advengers 1 where Hulk can Hulk whenever because he's always hangry.