LET'S STREAM SONIC 3D BLAST - The Other Genesis Sonic.

In the last video you talked about other isometric games and mentioned Land Stalker. You also mentioned something about Zelda clones for Sega systems and I came up with the following list:

Golden Axe Warrior
Crusader of Centy
Beyond Oasis

Also, there's Neutopia 1 & 2 but those are for PC Engine / TurboGrafx-16.

Since I mentioned S3DB PC I'm going to (re-?) link to a video I did of the special stages in that game since they're completely different from either the Genesis or Saturn version's stages.

They're probably even worse than the Genesis version. They may not induce motion-sickness, but they are too fast for how low-res they are, and the controls are so slippery most ice levels blush.

Out of all the sound effects this game gratuitously lifts from Sonic 3 & Knuckles, my favorite is the 1-up jingle which is actually an excerpt from that game's main theme. I think I also heard some scenery making the sound of the Sandopolis ghosts.

Also enjoyable: listening to Fanboymaster ignore BEAT to recount the history of the various versions of Ys IV. "I beat the level, by the way." "Yeah."

EPILOGUE BONUS POST!
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT BOX ART.

Attention everyone that actually complain about box art: I fucking hate you, you goddam wuss babies. Go back into the locker the jocks stuffed you into and drown yourself in your pathetic nerd tears.

"But BEAT!", I can hear some of you whining. "Isn't complaining about box art what you're doing right now?" Nope! Quite the opposite in fact! What I'm doing here is celebrating some of the most deeply weird boxes ever unleashed upon an unsuspecting world. Artifacts of pure beauty that must be preserved at all costs.

Let's start with the one I'm personally familiar with, the North American version.


Both the Genesis and the Saturn use a hilarious 3D model of Sonic, similar to the one used in the game's ending cutscene. I'm sure guys who know a lot about 3d Modeling could say all sorts of facinating things about it, but the thing that jumps out at me is the little "T" texture they slapped on the underside of Sonic's head to in place of a mouth. Lookit that thing! Just look at it!

The Saturn version features a nice cloudy sky, while the Genesis just has a bunch of really jank 3d leaves doing a really poor job of covering up what I assume is a back background. That means that in a weird way each box's art matches it's respective version's title screens! Nice attention to detail, box art guys!

But if you thought Americans were good at bad 3D models, you haven't seen NOTHING yet.


There's a reason that Sonic's face is usually drawn for 3/4ths perspective. Its' because some people are weak cowards who wish to hide from what they cannot hope to understand. But the brave souls of the UK boxart division refused to be ruled by fear! And so, they took the demons of the world head-on and faced down their corporate overlords with a resounding NO MORE! And so they made their render of sonic look straight into the camera, saying "Here I am, Unafraid!"

Then they made him really shiny and messed around with his spikes so he'd look like some kinda demon. And then they stuck his mouth on the side of his face anyways, presumably while laughing their asses off.

Ah but what about Japan, Sonic's nation of origin? The nation where, for some reason, the game was only ever released on the Saturn? How did they handle the boxart there?


Oh. I guess they just... drew a picture of Sonic. And then one of them came in at like 2 PM, having spent all night at a rave and said something along the lines of "DUDE SONIC SHOULD TOTALLY BE, LIKE, AT A RAVE." And instead of being like "Shut up you're fired" they were like "YES. VISIONARY."

IS IT POSSIBLE TO "FIX" SONIC 3D BLAST?

No, probably not.

Take the Flickies, the single part of the game I dislike most. Madhair mentioned a ROMhack that removed that aspect, but the game as it is really sort of needs them because without them, every level would just be a bunch of pointless dead ends and one "Correct" path to the goal. As he said, getting rid of the annoyance just sort of ends up trivializing the entire game.

There is no way I can think of to make Sonic 3D Blast "good" other than rebuilding the entire thing with completely new level layouts with completely new objectives. And massively reworked physics. And less ugly graphics. At which point you've basically made a brand new video game.

I enjoyed doing this LP! It was fun and relaxing and entertaining! But man oh man, there's a reason this game is the one nobody remembers.

CREDITS:
SKYPE BROS:
Kishi: He's the single reason this LP exists! I mentioned it in IRC and he was like "Stream it. Now."
Kalir: Wasn't aware this game existed until I showed him! Ignorance is bliss.
FanboyMaster: My right hand man makes a strong showing by alternating between barely contained contained contempt for the game and ignoring it completely.
Caliscrub: One day I'll stop making fun of his Bitcoins. But not today.
MorningSong: She was just sort of minding her own business, then BAM. Dragged in once again.
MuteKi: The guy with all the the Sonic knowledge. All of it!

NON-SKYPE BROS:
MadHair: Brought up the romhack that resulted in half my giant stupid epilogue!
Trar: For all the props in the hitbox chat!
EndyBeast: for all the support on twitter! You should follow him, because he's awesome.
Everyone who posted: Wait, most of you were on the Skype calls themselves! What you wanna be thanked twice now?! Get outta here!

AND FINALLY...
YOU: Thanks again for watching my videos and reading my dumb writeups. I hope you enjoyed them!

That "wink" is something that will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my days. Like, doesn't Sonic have blue eyelids? What is going on in that eye?

Look man I don't know how many Raves you've gone to but nobody ever leaves those things without their eyes being at least a little fucked up.

And whens Sonic goes to a Rave, he fucking RAVES, you know what I mean?

The lack of a Japanese Mega Drive version probably comes down to Sega's recurring failure to make any real inroads into the Japanese market, releasing a Mega Drive game in 96 there was probably seen as peak foolishness.

Amusingly, the Japanese release not only post-dates the late-1998 release of Sonic Adventure in Japan, but even the release of the Dreamcast outside of Japan. October of 1999. Fucking weird, huh?

Gotta go fast rave.

3 Full years holy shit

At that point I can't imagine why they'd even bother.

PROLOGUE BONUS POST #02!
HOW THE HELL IS AN UNLICENSED ROMHACK CALLING ITSELF THE "DIRECTOR'S" CUT?

Short answer: Sometimes the internet is MAGICAL.

Long answer: Back in 1989 this guy called Jon Burton founded a game development studio called Traveler's Tales. The studio made a whole bunch of games such as Puggsy, Mickey Mania, Toy Story, and this weird isometric 3D Sonic game, all of which Burton was heavily involved in. The studio was modestly successful until they started making Lego games, at which point they became MASSIVELY successful. So yeah he's doing pretty okay.

In 2017 Jon started a YouTube channel called GameHut, which mostly focused on how he and his team pulled off supposedly impossible technical feats on old game systems. You know, like, as a hobby. He quickly learned that people had a lot of stuff to say about that weird isometric 3D Sonic game he made way back in the day. Stuff like this. And he was like "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"

And that's how the founder of major video game development studio ended up releasing a patch for a game he made 20 years ago, so you can play the definitive version of his game by applying it to the pirated ROM you obtained from either a torrent or a WAREZ site.

Did I mention he's also credited as the Executive Producer of The Lego Movie?

Sometimes the internet is MAGICAL.

SO WHAT'S THE DIRECTOR'S CUT CHANGE?

A whole lot of stuff, but the changes I'm most interested in are the ways it tries to address addresses my complaints about the way Sonic moves and the way the Flickies act. The gameplay has been tweaked significantly to try and make Sonic feel faster and make the birds less of a giant pain in the ass by making it more difficult to lose them, and giving you indicators to help you find them when you do.

The hack also adds a whole bunch of cool touches, such as a worldmap-esque level select, a password save system, and a time attack mode, which lets you play through any level you've already beaten without having to worry about the birds.

ARE THESE CHANGES ENOUGH TO "FIX" SONIC 3D BLAST?

Only one way to find out!

SONIC 3D BLAST DIRECTOR'S CUT 01

GREEN GROVE ZONE
SPECIAL GUESTS
GoggleBob - MorningSong

That fmv intro video is still nice as hell.

I immediately demonstrate my dedication to making a high quality project by immediately abandoning my computer to run to the kitchen, where my wife was eating a cookie. In my defense, the cookie was delicious.

If you've played the original 3D Blast extensively, you might notice the changes in this video, but most of the tweaks are subtle enough to go unnoticed. The big exception is the special stages, which now will only allow you to get one Chaos emerald per Zone, with all subsequent trips to the special stage netting you a Sonic emblem. This might be a problem if I'm going for the good ending, but for now we're fine.

Fun fact: all the Genesis/Mega Drive games on Steam have workshop support, and so this version of the game is available to play there if you have the copy of Sonic 3D they sell! Also, this version will probably never come to the Saturn or PC version, alas, because the teams involved in those were slightly different.

SONIC 3D BLAST DIRECTOR'S CUT 02

RUSTY RUIN ZONE
SPECIAL GUESTS
GoggleBob - MorningSong - MuteKi

So right off the bat, we get to see that whenever you finish a boss, the game will take you to it's brand new level select screen instead of just putting you right in the next level. This is also where you can see the passwords, which save not only your level progress, but also your emerald count, the emblems you've found and your completion percentage.

As for rusty Ruin zone, well unfortunately it still just kinda sucks. Mostly because of the spinners. Fuck the spinners.

On the other hand, Prototype Crab is back!


Everybody loves prototype crab. Prototype crab is the shit.

Man, just.

Prototype Crab, you know?

Man.

Prototype crab! I'm glad he's been able to receive his proper seat of glory after nearly two decades of everything, ah, going sideways for him

Prototype crab is real, and strong, and he is my friend.

SONIC 3D BLAST DIRECTOR'S CUT 03

SPRING STADIUM ZONE
SPECIAL GUESTS
GoggleBob - MorningSong - MuteKi

So I totally blanked on grabbing a Chaos emerald in Rusty Ruin, and didn't even realize it until I started watching this video for the Writeup. So I guess this is now a NORMAL ENDING run. I'd be lying if I said I was terribly put off by this.

Spring Stadium has always been my least-favorite 3D Blast Level purely for how it looks. the checkerboard blue doesn't bother me, but the yellow just looks so wrong. The constant bouncing isn't doing it any favors either. I love that kind of stuff in a 2D sonic game where it can shoot you to dizzying speeds, but even in this slightly sped-up version of the game sonic rarely goes faster than a "Brisk Jog" it just becomes kind of annoying.

A few Director's Cut changes can be noticed throughout this video, but the one that stood out to me were the occasions where I should have taken a hit after getting speed shoes, but didn't because the speed shoes now make you semi-invincible. Basically when you get one of those powerups, you don't immediately kill anything you hit, and you'll still get knocked back, but won't lose any rings. It's not a bad way to make the game a little easier to play at MAX SPEED.

Also I really suck at the boss. Which is just disgraceful, because all you have to do to be basically untouchable it stay near the top left corner.

BEAT: But if I have to give [the flickies] names, I will do so right now then. The BLUE one's name is BLUE because I am extremely creative. The RED one's name is EAT A BAG OF DICKS. The GREEN one's name is FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU DIE. And the PURPLE one's name is PURPLE.

The yellow is just so out of left field compared to the other colors. The colors would have been tasteful otherwise but with it it makes it look like a clown vomited and then pissed all over the vomit

SONIC 3D BLAST DIRECTOR'S CUT 04

DIAMOND DUST ZONE
SPECIAL GUESTS
GoggleBob - MorningSong - MuteKi

So here's a weird wrinkle added by the Special Edition: Because of the new way the game ties Special Stages to Zones, missing one of the cool rocks on any level will make the next level's COOL ROCK show up as the wrong color on the results screen. Haha computers are weird.

Anyways yeah, Diamond Dust! It's still the nicest-looking level, still has the best music, and still is a lot more fun to play than the one that came before it! That's all I got! Moving on!

SONIC 3D BLAST DIRECTOR'S CUT 05

VOLCANO VALLEY ZONE
SPECIAL GUESTS
SoySus15 - FanboyMaster - MuteKi

Everybody give a warm welcome to SoySus15! This is the first video I've ever posted with him on Voice Commentary!

Anyways right, Volcano Valley. It's still just a little too long, and the lava pits are still pretty annoying. I manage to get an actual GAME OVER on the boss, because apparently I'm extremely bad at games I've had in my personal library for literally 20 years. I do manage to snag the level's COOL ROCK tho, so that's nice!

Also the first half of this video has the game audio muted because I'm an extremely good let's player who always makes sure to do his let's plays properly and correctly.

SoySus15: Sonic was hit with the inevitability that he's going to die one day. When he loses all his rings.
BEAT: I was talking to some rando on twitter the other week about Sonic's innate peace with the impermanence of both the universe and himself!
FanboyMaster: That does sound like you, yes.
MuteKi: You know it is sort of funny that all of our stream chats eventually turn to that topic.
FanboyMaster: They all turn to like, frickin, the Philosophy Of Sonic! We're all idiots!

There are two outcomes with the volcano valley boss, but both take only about 15 seconds.

When I was a kid I couldn't reliably get past that boss. The PC version's save feature meant once I got a copy of it, it wasn't a run-killer.