Noids Sleepin' With Doodles... Let's Play Cool World!

Oh... oh god.

Why yes, that is a actual cart. Why yes, I have one just like it.

I know what you're thinking. What kind of childhood did you have, that your parents got you an actual cart of Cool World on the SNES, and not.... something else? This was a game we got with our Super Nintendo. For a brief time we had just two games, Super Mario World and Cool World. I guess Worldly games was just our theme until we got our free copy of Super Mario All-Stars in the mail from Nintendo.

But hey, you don't care about my childhood, you're wondering about this game.



For starters, it's a bad licensed game based on a bad movie. A bad movie that I have never seen. Basically the movie is about Brad Pitt getting stuck in a cartoon world, becoming a cop in this world, and then our hero Jack, the dude up there, getting pulled into the world by Holli, the cartoon chick.

So that she can have sex with him.

Yeah, really. Apparently in this movie, a cartoon having sex with a human makes the cartoon human, and that lets them come to our world. I love how in that picture, dude looks horrified at the idea.

But wait a minute, this is Nintendo in their heyday of censorship! How in the hell do you make a video game about that plot?

I guess I will do you a solid and link the one part of the movie I HAVE seen... the trailer, that was on our VHS copy of Star Trek VI...



Recently, Nodal played this game during a stream on Brickroad's stream channel. I thought his reaction was pretty hilarious, but it apparently didn't earn highlight status.

Table of Contents
#1: Nickle 'n' Dimed
#2: The Soda Jerk

I got a free game in the mail once for the SNES. It was the red Maximum Carnage one. Did I go off topic in one post?

I saw that with friends who insisted on walking in 10 min after it started. Was confused about a ton of stuff (mind you it's a bit of a mess already). The final action sequence was pretty neat but overall I considered it a wasted ticket.

I had forgotten someone made a game for that, and for the SNES no less!

I grew up going to a daycare before school started where one of the SNES games available to play was Captain Novolin. Funny how these "wait, this was made?" type games always attack a captive audience.

I picked this game up at a garage sale as a wee lad. All I remember is the arbitrariness that infuses every part of this game. The memories I have are so vague, but I remember being irritated that things seemed to happen for little to no reason, you could only carry one item at a time and that the game has little to no direction at any point.

What I'm trying to say is young me thought this was a terrible game and back then I thought Faceball 2000 was an alright game.

Noids?

#1: Nickle 'n' Dimed

Where Red rambles over a blank screen, teaches kids the value of a bank account, and might totally have gotten a cheap mug.

So I guess you could say that bouncer gets... a-noid with you?

The version of the movie's plot you're trying to reverse engineer from the ill-thought-out licensed game is much much better than the real thing.

This does totally seem to be a proper homage in that it's an ill-thought out incoherent mess though. So that's something.

#2: The Soda Jerk

Where Red fails at getting a drink, punches the devil in the biscuits, and meets the horror of Swinger Earthworm Jim.

I feel like this is the videogame equivalent of simulated dyslexia. I understand on some theoretical level that all of these screens have doors, pickups, enemies, and random background elements, but all I see is confusing visual noise.

It's remarkable how closely this resembles a video game.

You are a saint for suffering through this for mere internet kudos. I'm getting a headache just watching it.

Abandoned