LET'S STREAM CRYPT WORLDS: Your Darkest Desires Come True

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen, and welcome to Let's Stream Crypt Worlds.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART 01 - IT BEGINS
PART 02 - BEAT WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH
PART 03 - ORACLE AND DEAD CITY
PART 04 - GLITCH RAVE BATTLE!
PART 05 - TURNING ON MY OWN
PART 06 - LOYALTY TO THE GODDESS
PART 06.9 - GIANT WASTE OF EVERYBODY'S TIME.
PART 07 - CHAOS GOD IS THE BEST GOD
PART 08 - BAD END

Or you can use the YOUTUBE PLAYLIST on the off chance you're like me, and feel that the best way to experience video LPs is to have them autoplaying in the background while you do other stuff.

So what is Crypt Worlds? Good question. The most factual answer would be It's an independent 3D adventure game, built using unity3d and released as freeware in July 2013. It was created by Cicada Marionette with music by Liz Ryerson. As for what the game actually is well that one's a bit more complicated. I'm personally partial to to Cicada's own words from this pretty great article.
Well said Cicada.

I will be streaming my play sessions live on my Twitch TV Page, then uploading the videos to Youtube. This is a mostly blind playthrough, so all my reactions, and the reactions of my Skype Bros are 100% genuine. As near as I can tell game is not kidding around when it says that it has arbitrary system to force you to run around more, so when we get into later, more repetitive episodes I plan to provide two youtubes for each chunk of gameplay, one that covers the entire play period, and one that cuts out the long chunks of fruitless searching. Finally I'll do my best to alert you guys via the forums, IRC and whatever other mean as to when I'm streaming, so you can join in the fun if you so desire.

That about covers the basics, so LET'S GO.

In which I manage to collect several useful items, explore almost all the areas available to me, and obtain both the first goddes relic and a piss upgrade!

Did I mention this game has pissing as a central mechanic? I should have mentioned that.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE
� This game has several collectables, which can be sold or planted in the ground. In this video we see SEEDS, MEAT, and BONES. I'm fairly certain I'm going to need all of them and more as I progress through the game.
� Picking up collectables increases your PISS METER, I did this a bunch of times to open the PISS DOOR where I found a Bladder upgrade allowing me to HOLD MORE PISS. You are now starting to understand why the creator described this game as "really gross".
� I also found and grabbed the first GODDESS RELIC, which is what the horse thing in the intro was demanding I find. There are five total, I've got one, I can see one that I'll need to pay the dude in the pilgrim village for, and I have absolutely no clue where to find the other 3.
� While I have 50 in-game days to finish everything, there is no in-game clock, and the day advances when you sleep in a bed. A smart player should therefore do everything they possibly can each day to maximize productivity. Sadly, I AM NOT SMART.
� The other dudes in the call and I GET ALL CRUNK AT TRYNANT cuz he didn't doesn't really get what was going on. It's not really Trynant's fault though, we all had just more exposure to this weirdness than he did. So that was uncool. SORRY MAN.
� Finally, the ART ON THE SIDE OF THE VIDEO is from the HAND-DRAWN INSTRUCTION MANUAL. It's a really awesome manual. I'm very glad it exists.

Well... this looks substantial if nothing else.

I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean.

In which I manage to totally fail at the basic idea of the game and unintentionally go to bed not once, but twice

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE
� The SEEDS I planted in Episode 1 Grew into... SEEDS... Great.
� I now have 3 of 10 GOLDEN BUGS. I have no idea what getting all 10 will do, but I think it's a GOOD GUESS that it'll net me another GODDESS RELIC
� HORRIBLE SCREAMING MURDER 4 is the VHS tape the fucked up red thing in the catacombs wants. It's also another game by Cicada Marionette! I'll do a bonus video of it pretty soon. It's really short.
� I'm STILL WAITING for the ARCHAEOLOGIST to finish digging.
� PISSING ON PEOPLE prompts them to say different things. Most of them aren't useful.
� I'm bad at everything.

Not peeing on enough stuff 1/5

Usually when something is this weird and Artsy, it also tends to be really short and shallow, but... there seems to be an awful lot of actual content here, and stuff you actually need to stop and puzzle out, and... yeah I really was just not expecting this sort of meaty gameplay based on the presentation.

Saw the game and decided to try it out. Found a ton of ways to get items, started to piss oil, got 9/10 bugs, 4/5 goddess relics, and 3/3 things you havn't shown yet. Unfortunately, right after I got the third one, I talked to a guy and my save file corrupted. I blame the Sky Pilgrims.

I completed stuff and things so now I will be able to guide Beat if he needs any help.

RECORDING LIVE NOW YOU MISSED IT.

IT'S COOL THO I'LL DO IT AGAIN THIS WEEKEND PROLLY

In which the archaeologist I paid off in part 2 finally finishes, and the game suddenly opens up in a huge way, leading to loads of actual progress.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE
� We buy a USELESS FORTUNE from ELIZABETH OF THE WOODS, We're gonna need to visit her at LEAST TWICE MORE, but she only shows up every 5th day.
� I fucked around with my streaming settings and I'm SECRETLY AFRAID MY RECORDING QUALITY SUCKS NOW. I can't really tell if it took an actual hit in quality though. If you can tell, PLEASE CONFIRM MY FEARS.
� The BONES I planted in episode one grew into MORE BONES. That's way good actually.
� I now have 7 of 10 GOLDEN BUGS. When I mention this it becomes apparent that I CAN'T ADD.
� HORRIBLE SCREAMING MURDER Makes a cameo! I love that guy! I'll do a bonus video of that game I swear.
� I'm not a PISS FIREMAN.
� The video ends with me getting a phone call that's totally audible and totally uncool.

The video is secretly fine, the game audio is a little quiet though.

So I've got the next two parts all recorded and ready to go, but twitch is being dumb and making it a pain to get them over to youtube.

I figure there has to be a way around this.

Just has to be.

In which reality peaces out and Crypt Worlds becomes an awesome rave party.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE
� I PISS ON A LOT OF THE BURG SKELETONS at the request of my bold guide SMILER but I'm afraid you don't get to see WHY At least, not in this video. PATIENCE.
� The tip off that SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL is that the DIALOG IS REPLACED BY HEX CODES. Smiler said that there SEEMED TO BE MORE PILGRIMS when this happened, but that didn't strike me as immediately obvious. I don't know if it's dependent on talking to lots of people, or really if anything triggers it at all.
� A ton of the TEXTURES Turned into COWBOYS. These include THE PILGRIMS, our POSTERS, and DENDYGAR the primary antagonist. GOD claims that this was a side effect of our SWEET RAVE.
� I have NO IDEA if anything found in the DEBUG MAZE was actually supposed to be in the game, or if it's all JUST ANOTHER JOKE.
� Where the hell is the last GOLDEN BUG?

You mean I restarted my file for nothing!? Dangit. At least I speedran the 5 goddess relic ending on the restart.

You are also tempting me to post tables to the patterns I've discovered. And spoil where the last two golden bugs are. Maybe after the LP is over... :P

I should be through this run of the game pretty quickly, and I would actually totally dig learning of your discoveries of this game's weird event triggers or where that last Gold Bug is, just so long as no spoilers are posted before I reach one of the endings.

My ignorance must be rigorously maintained.

But really it shouldn't even be that long a wait. This game isn't super long. After I'm done with the main run, I'll consult some guides and the like and and see if I can show off the other endings and whatever other neat things I may have totally missed.

And Horrible Screaming Murder 4.

I'm totally still doing horrible screaming murder 4 honest.

In which I encounter P.O.R.P. And carry out his horrible bidding, gaining a new perfect form but losing countless skeleton friends.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE
� PISS RATING MOTHERFUCKER was actually a GOLD BUG all along! I'm going to assume I KILLED HIM because I hate him and that makes me smile.
� When you pick up GOLD or COLLECTABLES you don't just get one per pickup, you get a random number. I demonstrate this by PICKING UP 0 BONES LIKE 4 TIMES IN A ROW.
� Apparently P.O.R.P. is a System Shock 2 reference. I do not have the NEEDED CONTEXT.
� My new CYBORG BODY moves faster than my old one, and lets us Hack the MART DONALDS MACHINES for a WALLET UPGRADE It also PEES OIL. I'm not sure if that's more or less GROSS.
� I wasted a ton of MART DONALDS POINTS on GOLD because POOR READING COMPREHENSION. Whatever I can get more.
� I also bought my VERY OWN TRASH ROOM, which I can search daily for EASY GOLD.
� Fuck you ZORDON, you ain't shit.

Not sure if anyone gives a damn but the next session will be recorded 720 HD, meaning no more nigh-ureadable text.

That makes me happy.

In which I see the will of Morena to it's bitter end, and put a stop to the Weird Nerd Dendygar.

OTHER THINGS OF NOTE
� The final GODDESS RELIC was found on our PRIVATE BEACH OVERLOOK, which we got by grinding up some MARTDONALD'S POINTS.
� We got ELIZABETH OF THE WOODS to give us her copy of HORRIBLE SCREAMING MURDER 4 by preforming the TAPE RITUAL. Then we got HORRIBLE SCREAMING MURDER himself to sign it before we gave it to ROB LELACK.
� We then found out that ROB LELACK and ELIZABETH OF THE WOODS are roommates and that he could have just asked her if he could watch it.
� When Morena TAKES ME TO THE MOON, absolutely none of my inputs seem to matter. The whole sequence seems SCRITPED, which really just reinforces the game's primary theme of FUTILITY.
� I never met a SKY PILGRIM.
� I never found the last GOLD BUG.

And that concludes the blind run of the game! But we're not done here! There are two endings left, one where we revive the Chaos God, and one where we run out of days before siding with either Morena or the Chaos God, and I will be showing both of those off!

Alright, been awhile since I've played (And I still havn't played to the other 2 endings) But I'll post what I've learned so far.

One time only spawns-
Any and all chests in the City Ruins areas. Sorry, no farming gold like that! Trash cans will be good enough to sustain you there anyways.
Bones and 'Trash collector guy's cans in the Village. Bones are the more important half of this, and the other trash can in the village is a respawn one.
Golden bug holes (Piss guy included) - Self explainatory.
Any goddess relics, wallet upgrades, piss upgrades, or other plot relevant/upgrade items - Also self explainatory.

Respawns- Timer starts after item is collected, so collecting a seed on day 2 will make it respawn day 5.
Piss on inn owner in catacombs for gold - Daily (Needs quite a bit of piss)
Trash cans - Daily
Seeds - Every 3 days
Meat/Bread in town - Every 3-4 days (Forget which)
Bones and gold boxes in catacombs - Every 5 days
Piss on detective for gold - Unknown (Don't know what triggers, it seems to be random)

Special Events- Determined by the game clock. Don't know past day 15 or so.
Ritual Circle (Goddess Relic, Tape, Fortunes) - Every 5th day starting day 5
Screaming Death Murderer (Sign tape for house access) - Every 3rd day starting day 3
Digs - Takes 4-5 days after being started
Door in basement for cyborg body sidequest - Day 10+ (Also opens burger cultist room, don't know if that's just for show)

Farming- Timer starts when item is planted.
Seeds - 2 days
Meat Flakes - 3 days
Crumbs - 4 days
Bones - 5 days (Pissing on them will double output)

Going to have to find time to play more later and figure out more.

Hints/Unknown things I think should be checked out and don't know myself:
You've seen Sky Pilgrims already, they appear around day 10. I havn't figured out anything with them besides interesting piss comments.
There seems to be a door at the top of City Ruins Beta... Too high to reach it though. Maybe some event will help you up there later, or a jump boost upgrade? Maybe the door is fake? Might be worth looking into.
The last golden bug is near the start, you just havn't been checking around enough. You're also missing a free seed in that area. It's easy to miss, but not as easy as the piss guy one...

That's all I have for now. I'll prolly make an updated version after the second ending with any new events shown off, but I don't have much time to play it myself anymore due to work.

The tentative plan is to basically just rush to the second ending since all you really need for it is 30 gold. Then for the last ending, I'm gonna get absolutely everything before going to day 50

In which everything that can possibly go wrong, goes wrong, and then stuff that shouldn't have possibly gone wrong goes wrong.

THINGS OF NOTE
� The three TEARS OF GOD are found in the ARCHEOLOGICAL DIG SITES. These are the primary purpose of the dig sites, the only other thing in them is the Goddess Relic in the first.
� You trigger the Chaos God ending by getting all three tears and JUMPING INTO HELL These are referenced in the game's INSTRUCTION MANUAL, which I put in the video's sidebar, and virtually NOWHERE ELSE. Most first-time players get this ending by surprise, because while you have to do all kinds of shit to get the goddess relics, the tears of god are all just sitting there. Furthermore, the manual is LARGELY BLATANT LIES and quickly disregarded by the few who do read it.
� I finally figure out what YOU'S FACE means. It's sort of like a hunger meter, getting sadder and sadder until you "eat" by picking up collectables. If you're too sad when you go to sleep, you starve to death and wake up in the HELL ZONE.
� I BROKE THE GAME by getting all the tears and then going to the hell zone by STARVING TO DEATH, instead of USING THE PORTAL. This prevented the ending from triggering even after I went back around and used the portal, meaning that this whole video is a GIANT WASTE OF TIME.
� I'm NOT SORRY.

Also feat. sick me.

HOPING TO MAKE THE FINAL RECORDING TONIGHT.

POSTING STATEMENT OF INTENT.
if the forum BG color ever changes these are gonna look ridiculous.
ALSO I'LL LINK IT AND TWEET IT AND SHOUT ABOUT IT IN IRC AND ALL THAT JAZZ MAYBE GET SOME ACTUAL HUMANS IN THE CHAT I KNOW RIGHT DAMN.

Ahahahah yeah right.

GETTING READY TO DO THIS SHIT NOW

In which we are rewarded for our loyalty to the old god, in ways that scarcely feel rewarding. Jump to about 14 minutes or CLICK HERE to skip past me farming up all the chaos god tears. and get to the good stuff.

THINGS OF NOTE
� The world of the CHAOS GOD is totally EMPTY. The pilgrims, the skull burg people, Horrible screaming murderer, they're all gone.
� The only thing that remains aside from you is GODDES MORENA. She just calls you a NERD. She calls everybody that though.

In which we find out what happens if you refuse your glorious task. Jump to about 12 minutes or CLICK HERE skip past 49 game days of me fucking around in my farm.

THINGS OF NOTE
� In the end Dendygar did a GREAT JOB.
� He had a lot of FUN, and LEARNED THINGS TOO!
� The world is GONE NOW, and he's in a BETTER PLACE.
� This has been HIS STORY, NOT YOURS.

Aha... so that did sorta connect... to the chat only, without video loading. I need to start using a different computer when people get all streamy.


Anyway, what crazy thing is next now that this is finally in the can?

Duke Nukem Advance

Or a text only let's play of Starfox Command.