They bring you the grapes of wrath... Let's Play Streets of Rage (2)!

ATTEMPTS AT STREAMS OF RAGE 2 WERE MADE LAST NIGHT

And... we're gonna have to do it again later because my audio settings were all fucked up and the result is a conference call where everybody is talking to the void.

The void stares back at them.

Hungrily.

Moved to 'On Hiatus'

I'll wait forever, Streets of Rage 2.

Ahahah Caliscrub and I were gonna try and get this working this weekend.

WELL TIMED FALSELOGIC

NOW WE CAN'T NOT DO IT.

Abandoned

Oh man, it's been a long time since I thought about this game!

Man, Caliscrub and I really wanted to do this one proper but the two of us just have such a terrible time with scheduling these days that it keeps falling on the back burner. It's a shame but I guess this one just won't ever get a proper attention it deserves from us.

I guess this one's well and truly abandoned forever then, right?

DID YOU THINK YOU WERE SAFE?

NOBODY IS SAFE.

Shout outs to rebelfire for showing up in the chat!

Also this is stage two!

That's all I got really!

Our adventure continues onwards into LEVEL 3! At first it seems like all we're doing these days is beating up homeless people and guys who just want to play video games in peace!

But then we beat up ninjas an aliens in Disneyland! That's more like it!

Christmas came early this year.

God bless poorly translated signs in games from the early 90s.

Caliscrub and I invade a baseball stadium, and then fight on the pitchers's mound! Because this is America, and an America where you don't have brutal fistfights on the pitcher's mound is an America I want no part of!

Also my mic glitched out. BUT WE CAUGHT IT AND FIXED IT ALL GOOD.

Two men (And a shitload of mooks) board a boat. ONE MAN LEAVES.

(It's Caliscrub. Caliscrub leaves.)

(BEAT dies.)

Caliscrub soldiers on in BEAT's memory, but it's a doomed effort. He dies on the very street that inspired so much rage.

Make no mistake though. The Rich bad person that orchestrated this evil didn't win. He just hasn't lost yet.

Thus concludes our first attempt at shotgunning this game! We'll practice up a bit and take another crack at it... next time we both have the free time and feel like it!

I don't have like a dedicated schedule or anything.

While I don't have any actual news to report, I need to inform you all that Caliscrub and I made PLANS last night.

BIG FUCKING PLANS.

Watch this space.

The ultimate team returned.

Yes, the legendary Pause screen and company.

mlg pro pause strats

History had proven that Let's Play Streets of Rage 2/Streams of Rage 2/Revenge of Streams of Rage 2/SHOTS of Rage 2 was not something that could be finished, but it seemed as though the cursed endevor could be contained. The stream recordings slowly vanished into the abyss of the internet, swallowed whole by Twitch and Hitbox's endlessly mutating archival footage policies. The saved videos were allowed to gently sink to the bottom of Youtube, unnoticed and unwatched. The forum thread was walled off from the rest of the world by an ever-increasing number of better Let's Plays done by better Let's Players, never to be read again. Even the memories of the project locked within the minds of the foolish souls that undertook it were allowed to slowly fade away, helped in no small part by the phenomenal amounts of alcohol the two consumed.

It appeared as though Caliscrub and BEAT were finally released from their grim duty. The responsibility had been lifted off their shoulders not by a dramatic victory over the Dastardly Mr. X, but by the simple passage of time. And all the two had to do to spare both themselves and their community the suffering they had revisited so many times before was just leave well enough alone. To look away from their past futile efforts, and never open the box that kept the world safe from their terrible, shambling, incomplete creation.

The only thing they had to do to keep things right, was nothing.

BEAT: HEY CALISCRUB, WHAT'S IN THIS BOX MARKED "DON'T OPEN TILL DOOMSDAY?"
Caliscrub: Oh that's the terrible all-consuming monster of an LP project that we sealed away in a last-ditch effort to save ourselves and our forum community from total ruin.
BEAT: THE ONE WE SWORE WE WOULD NEVER RETURN TO, UPON FULLY GRASPING THE TERRIBLE THREAT IT REPRESENTED TO OURSELVES AND EVERYONE WE HOLD DEAR?
Caliscrub: Yeah, that's the one.
BEAT: ...
Caliscrub: ...
BEAT: ...
Caliscrub: ...
BEAT: IMMA CRACK THIS MUFUKA OPEN!
Caliscrub: Haha do it man do it!

We were always doomed.

DID YOU THINK YOU WERE FREE AHAHAHAHAHAHA NOBODY IS EVER FREE AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOBODY!!!

*AHEM*

I mean.

In which Caliscrub and BEAT situate themselves on BEAT'S couch, and play a video game they both enjoy, in the hopes of finally bringing this project that officially began in 2012 to a close.

In which Caliscrub and BEAT march their player avatars Max and Axel down a suspension bridge, interrupt a party being held inside a trailer-truck, and smack the shit out of a scientist who just wanted to show them the cool jetpack he just invented.

So there's some pirates and Ninjas and Aliens in the second half of the level but holy shit, did Axel and Max just beat up a guy trying to sleep on a park bench?

That's fucked up man.

This game is fucked up.

Wait shit one of those guys on the park bench was a motorcycle enemy.

The dear Landlord song is literally about that guy holy shit.

NO ESCAPE

ɴ̢̮̝̖̞̘̱O̸͎̪͍̘̦̬ ͍̞̙̥͙̳͞ᴇ̺͕̬̬̲S̯̯̝̺ᴄ̲̟͇͠A̶̠ᴘ̨̣̼͙̻͉E̝̳̳͖͖̝̞

I love 16-bit brawler logic so much. Like yeah we're just going to go into this baseball stadium to fight some ninjas and then it turns out the pitcher's mound is actually a SECRET ELEVATOR that goes deep into the earth's core so we can fight the Ultimate Warrior in a secret Wrestling Club.

Also those signs that say "DO! BASE BALL!


Video games are fucking cool, you guys.

If it's not below the earth's surface, is it really an underground fighting ring

Hmm... BEAT from 3 and half years ago does not seem to agree with current BEAT.