Relationships, pfpth! Who needs 'em? - Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak

That's actually probably a good thing, because I imagine Squall and Rinoa would have significant trouble lugging an entire key that was as big as that keyhole. Although... I do remember some of them lifting objects that should be far too heavy for them, so maybe they have super strength or something.

Oh, those two will be lugging around a whole lot more soon enough. You've also just reminded me of something I need to mention in Update #7... But for now, I'll start working on the last bits of #6, and post when I have my videos fixed and re-uploaded.

Welcome back once again, ham-ham fans! Heading back underground, Arnie's brother manages to chime in after the screen transition to give us directions... Squall has to get him to stop crying first, or he won't speak up here.



He walks us through the directions we need to move from here (left, down, left, up, up), and then we head into a maze of twisty little passages, all alike the same screen, over and over again. You can tell this by the way the amount of seeds buried here decreases if you dig it up each time.



Successful navigation brings Squall to another door that he can open with Sesam-E...



...but we find that Arnie isn't home yet, and their little bro breaks down into tears again. *sigh* That ham-ham must have the patience of a saint...



Fortunately, Squall only has to approach the bawling tyke to get Arnie to wander in, and they even brought Rinoa with them! Huzzah!



Ah, a tearful reunion... At least he's crying for a different reason now.



Luckily for us, Arnie knows how to do this big brother stuff pretty well, and it doesn't take long to soothe the little guy's tears. (We also nab another entry for our dictionary while we're here, of course.)



For reuniting the loving siblings, Squall and Rinoa even manage to fill up the love meter a little bit more! Spat had better watch out...

...That's just cold, dude. Your bro tries to hug-tackle you, and you go ahead and pretend to forget his name? For shame!



Squall and Rinoa are naturally both horrified by this, and make a point of leaving as soon as possible.



Heading back to the non-repeating intersection, we find that the Ham-Swap guy has moved down here with some new wares to sell us. One of them is useless, since we can find rocks for free in that cave just two screens away.



This is much more useful, for exactly the purpose he mentions. Funny, that... Either way, he can be haggled down by one sunflower seed again.



Making a purchase from this shifty sales-ham, Squall and Rinoa head up to oil the minecart a bit, letting them Gogo in it.



It starts off trundling along at a gentle enough pace, but the screen tilts suddenly and rockets the cart up to eye-watering speeds!



In fact it's so fast, the cart manages to get back to its starting position after ejecting us at the bottom of the cave system.



We Putput our oilcan to good use again, and throw... the switch!

This changes the tracks that our cart goes sailing down, and places our heroes in a hidden little area where they surprise a couple of ham-hams that were milling about.



They quietly inform Squall and Rinoa that this is their secret rock-gathering spot, and accidentally clue us in on the Ham-Chat we need to finish our Clubhouse explorations (for now).



Aside from dictionary completion percentage, coming down this way rewards us with another three rocks for our collection, as well as something... interesting in the room below.

I was debating whether or not to show it off right now, but I think you all deserve a look.



...No comment.



Anyway, Squall and Rinoa can take another minecart down to the room with the switch, and then head back up to where our Ham-Swap friend first set up shop. Now that they've moved, we're able to climb up here...



Ah-ha, found him! Time for another encounter with our favourite villainous hamster, folks! (And time for another video!)


You with all your fond memories of luuuuuv! Well, don't forget this!

Okay, time for a sneak attack while he's busy monologuing...


Bwaa haa haaa!
...Err?

Or not, because he spots Squall and Rinoa while they're busy gawking.



Well you see, we were gonna...



...Yeah, pretty much. Sure, it means we're doing Harmony a favour, but I'm willing to ignore that little detail. (Also, smug Spat is the best Spat.)

It's at this point that the game gives us back control, expecting us to get rid of the villain so we can save that gluttonous ham-ham he has tied up. We can't do anything with Spat's captive, but we can offer to be...


...

Sure, how about it? If you bring your theme music, I'm sure we could have a lot of fun together...

Spat is absolutely revolted by the idea, and backs away from us. Hmmm... Squall and Rinoa offer to be Hamigos once more, with feeling!


I said that it's uncalled for! Can't you hear? Pfpth!

He backs off again, and...


Don't say that, pfpth!!

...treats us to a cartoon classic.



Of course, it isn't long until realisation dawns and Spat goes plummeting down the mountainside. Guess that's the last we're gonna see of him!


uncomfortable, pfpth!! How unlucky for you this costume has wings!

Or on second thoughts, perhaps not...



Staging a retreat for now, we get to watch Spat slowly crawl off screen... Trying to walk off the bridge before he's gone gets us a little extra dialogue though.


I'm not staying any longer, so just hold your horses, pfpth!



We're treated to a shot of Spat's image shrinking and disappearing off the map, and the captive ham-ham manages to free himself of his gag. (Since I was a little delayed with this update, let's go for a bit more length and finish things off here.)



First things first, Squall has to bite through the ropes, while Rinoa watches from the sidelines.

This ham-ham shows off that not all his bulk is from eating sunflower seeds all day long, and we get a cute new Ham-Chat for our trouble in rescuing him.



Squall and Rinoa are helpfully spared some backtracking again, returning the lost glutton to his worrying buddy. (Which raises a question for me... How do you tell the genders apart, if you don't get told or see them displaying tertiary sexual characteristics, ie. ribbons and such?)



After our bit of Americanism with Libert-T, we get treated to something very much Japanese here... I don't really get the significance of using fans like this, but I know it works in Smash Bros. :3



Aw, such a touching moment... Pity they're both nameless NPCs.



Also, new Ham-Chat get! Not to mention another bit of love for the love meter. I'd say we're making pretty good progress here, wouldn't you?



As one last thing before we leave Sunny Peak, you can revisit this screen to find that both hams have gorged themselves to the point of immobility, plus we snag another word to bring us to a nice round thirty in total.

Next time: We return to Clubhouse as heroes once more... But how long will this peace from Spat's wicked ways last?

Bonus video: A good day's Ham-Chat collecting

I can't believe you didn't make a "Spat went splat" joke there. Too obvious? Either way, it was a fun update!

I just assumed that the pink one is a girl and the blue one is a boy. Works for the hospital rooms.

...I probably wouldn't have made it anyway, but I did miss that easy joke. ^^;

I would have done the same, except the blue one keeps using 'he' and 'him' to refer to the missing pink ham.

Maybe the blue one is a girl, then. Or maybe they're gay? Anything goes!

Anyway, hamigo is my favorite piece of Ham-Chat so far. Kala and the supporters of this LP? We're hamigos.

Heh, who knows... Either way, doesn't really matter to me just what their relationship is. Oh, and I think it's simply bestest that we're hamigos, Chu. :3

Obviously they didn't reverse the colours from the East Asian norms of pink = male, blue = female when they localized it for the US. (Or swapped genders; they are nameless NPCs, after all.)

That could be the case, note that the pink one is carrying the blue one in the animation, much the same way that Squall carries Rinoa when they do the animation in the video.

Pfpth!

Fun fact: The U.S. used to be that way until the early 20th Century as well, when it swapped. Pink was often regarded as a strong and manly color.

In the words of the Donovan Deegan
"Only real men wear pink!"
It losses something without the dramatic pose, but I can't find the image right now.

Ah, yes... I watch QI too, though the part about it still being that way in East Asia must have slipped past me. You learn something new each day, I guess.

It's probably somewhere on the TVTropes page... I lost track of that webcomic a while back, sadly.

Oh my God.

Now I can't get the image of Hamtaro-Link fighting a Ganon-ized Spat in the Pyramid of Power out of my head. The latter even uses a trident why does this fit so perfectlyyy

Someone needs to hack LttP's sprites to make this happen.

That would be comedy gold, yes. All the moreso if you know what that Master Sword there looks like in Hamtaro's hands.

Hehe... Sadly we won't be seeing that for a while yet. Of course, that means I should get on with it and update some more, doesn't it? :3



Let's hit the ground running then, by heading back to the Clubhouse and straight into a cutscene. Seamore picks up a letter someone left lying around, and promptly freaks out about it. Presumably he's being threatened about taking photos he shouldn't have...



Running straight over to Boss (because he's definitely the most capable ham-ham here), our shell-wearing friend claims that his outburst is because Barrette's not in his studio, and hands over that letter for Boss to read to us.

Hmm... Not a bad attempt at love letter writing, I suppose.



...Do I detect a hint of jealousy?



To his credit, Boss actually dispenses some appropriate advise here... But Seamore wimps out on taking it, and Boss backs down.



With Boss annoyed and Seamore depressed as can be, it's obviously up to us to talk with them and sort all of this out... But forget that, new room to explore! (Snoozer also got moved off to the side for that scene, which I think is a nice touch.)



Um... Don't mind us, we were just leaving...

In all seriousness though, this is the rubrub room, and I simply have to include another line from the explanation these two give us.



......

*ahem* Anyway, this is where we polish our rocks, revealing the shiny gems inside.



We have to go through all of them one at a time though, giving them just about the weakest polishing I've ever seen.

Some rocks will only turn blue if we polish them right now, meaning what's inside is more valuable... But we can't get anywhere with those right now, because we need more love power, which apparently translates into super strength.



I did manage to find one of each of these, plus 20 sunflower seeds. There was also a rock that disintegrated when Squall and Rinoa touched it. ^^;



After that little diversion, we head back out to see what's up, and get roped into another favour by Boss. I guess that's a testament to his leadership skills...?



Anyway, next stop: sun, sand and surf!



Apparently also villainy, because we find the culprit behind all this the very instant we arrive, who promptly bugs out and runs away from us. I'm so glad we left a lasting impression on Spat, after tricking him into nearly leaving one on the ground below that cliff.

(Edit: Slipped my mind for a minute, but here's the music.)



First order of business: forgetting all about that rascal and enjoying the beach. South of the starting point is the FC Pineapple soccer club, who want us to find a new ball for them to use. There's also a jar for us to digdig up, one of four scattered around the beach.



West of the pitch is another jar, along with two weird ham-hams and a human-sized bucket... Crawling under it nets us a nice shiny marble, destined to join all the other junk in our inventory.



Speaking to these two reveals that the green one's supposed to be learning how to swim, but he's worried that the instructor has no idea what they're doing.

...This is quickly confirmed, and we also find out that these two are supposed to be the lifeguards here. Think I'll pass on the surf, then...



North of here (west of the starting point), we find a ham-ham relaxing by some strange stones, which appear to have a link with music...?



This hamster is supposedly famous, though the game gives us no indication why.



They do have a pineapple though, which we can nab with the right piece of flattery. Naturally, Squall tells them that they're bestest.



...This does not go over as well as he had hoped.



The celebrity ham educates us on how to address one such as themselves, though using that isn't quite good enough to be worth a pineapple.



To the west, we find more musical stones and sunbathers, along with a depressed looking ham just standing around



She tells us that her husband made one of the dumber mistakes a married man can make, adding to our vocabulary while she's at it.



Naturally, Squall and Rinoa have to keep an eye out for him.



South this time for another two music stones, a jar and... Broski, the guy whose name was on the love letter to Barrette.

...Rinoa clearly didn't notice Spat earlier, or she wouldn't be asking such a silly question. We tell Broski to keep watch for our missing ham-ham in the meantime, while we search elsewhere.



He also compliments us on the fact we've been picking up those jars, thinking that it's out of love for the environment, instead of a rampant RPG packrat urge that I can never seem to shake.

For the authentic experience of playing this for yourselves, please include a minute or two of wondering where you're supposed to go right about here, since there's nothing but a few sunflower seeds on the screen west of Broski.



The correct solution is to head back to where we started, where a couple of girls are fawning over the soccer players one screen down. They have a scene where they talk about getting a love letter to one of the hunks on the team, and plot to rope another player into their scheme if one comes this way.

Actually, the blue-eared one does most of the talking. Her friend just squirms and goes 'Um, yeah..." a few times.



Attempts to talk to them afterward only result in more fangirl squealing, though we can add to the dictionary with it.



This lets us praise the celebrity well enough to earn us a fruity snack...



...which Squall and Rinoa hand over to the soccer club so we can join. Personally I think using a pineapple as a ball would be kinda painful, but at least it's a tiny one.



In order to be proper members of the team, we get to do a quick minigame. The pineapple gets tossed around, and we have to react with A whenever it heads toward Squall or Rinoa. The idea here is to press just when the pineapple falls back onto screen during those throws.



This one's pretty easy over all, and can be repeated for extra sunflower seeds. Also, I really like the coach's reaction, despite how painful it sounds.



Heading up to talk to the girls again, we're now recognised as part of the club, and drafted into their plan without a chance to say no.



It sounds fairly simple, until we get to read what's in the letter.



Um... Looks like the developers anticipated our out-of-body experience here, folks. Squall and Rinoa should be able to tell which player has a blue tail, but since they aren't facing the camera, I can't.

This one's going to have to sit on the back-burner for a little while... Next time, we finally get back to tracking down Spat!

Bonus video: More Ham-Chats!

yeah I know they're supposed to fight inside the pyramid, whatever

That's pretty awesome. It'd be even funnier if we already knew what happens when he pulls out the Master Sword. You'll see when he does.

Maybe I can make an updated version when we see that, then.

:D

Well, that... that sure is a thing. Seriously though, you're awesome Chu. Love the filename too.

------------



Back at the plot, we have to tell the blue-eared girl Lookie, so she can tell us where Barrette's gone. We simply can't move on otherwise.



Squall and Rinoa stop to sniff this tanning ham first though, just because. I could have gotten another Ham-Chat from him last update, but it will make more sense if we wait just a little bit.



Back down at the far end of the beach, we find Broski blocking our way onto that previously useless screen, so naturally we need to get past him.



Squall and Rinoa are told things they should really know by now with any amount of peripheral vision...



...and Rinoa feels the urge to really spell it out for the young gamers at home. I do really like Broski's way of describing Spat though, so I can forgive this scene being here.



For reference, there's a good six lines or so of ellipses between these two, which makes the surfer dude seem just a little slow on the uptake.



After getting Broski to move his surfboard, we're able to walk over into another little scene with Spat, where we find him living up to that title of 'all-fibber' again.



...I honestly don't know how anyone would be gullible to go along with this, unless they were truly blinded by grief. Again, I'll give Barrette a pass here.



*KICK!* The predictable happens, and Barrette gets sent sailing out onto the waves.



Ah, villains gloating... Gotta love it.