Ia! Ia! Pokéthulhu fhtagn! Let's Play Pokémon HeartGold!

Part II: Start of a Journey, A Crazy Girl and Her Water Rat, and A Fetch Quest
Why did I decide on image editing, again? Oh, right. Because I'm a dumbfuck. Pokémon Heart Gold has significantly more talking time than the original Gold did. So I'm just going to image edit when I feel like it rather than whenever talking time happens.



That's me, all right. I should've drawn some emoji though.



Professor Oak: "Fun experiences, difficult experiences, there's so much waiting for you!" (Yes, like tentacular mind rape.)
Professor Oak: "Dreams!" (More like nightmares.) "Adventure! Let's go to the world of Pokémon! I'll see you later."

See what I mean by him being brainwashed? Anyway, time for lunch.



...Hi mom. :I

Mom: "She was playing hide-and-seek with her marill. Oh! I almost forgot! Our neighbour, Professor Elm, was looking for you. He said he had a favour to ask of you." (I'm going to make a wild guess and assume it has something to do with Hellspawn. I still have nightmares about last time...)
Mom: "You know where the lab is, right? It's right next door to us." (Woman, I know where he lives.)
Mom: "By the way, do you have everything you need to go out? Here, use this Bag to carry things... This is your Trainer Card...and here's your diary..." (... I'm just going next door, mom. It's not like I'm going out on an adventure or something. How the hell did you get my diary, anyway?)



Ugh. I really wish she'd put a leash on that thing. >



Elm: "Do you know anything about my research?" (I think you mean 'illegal experiments'. And I know far more than I ever wanted to, you filthy bastard.)
Elm: "As you know, pokémon are carried in dodecahedral stones these days, but before these stones were invented, people used to walk with pokémon, just like Lyra does." (...Hence the stones—those devil-beasts warp minds if you're not careful.)
Elm: "Dodecahedral stones are great because you can carry many pokémon, but walking with pokémon must have some advantages. It could have something to do with how pokémon grow or evolve..." (Why do I get the feeling that this is going to lead to something I'm going to seriously regret?)
Elm: "So I'm going to give you a pokémon! Can you walk beside this pokémon, outside of its dodecahedral stone, to see if this brings any special feelings or bonds between pokémon and people?"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Elm: "The device over there has some pokémon you could choose from..."



Elm: "... Hm... Uh-huh... Okay..."



Elm: "He keeps finding weird things and raving about his discoveries. Anyway, I just got an email him saying that this time it's real. It's probably another pokémon egg, but we're still so busy with our research projects... Wait! I know!" (...Sir. You having an idea is about as comforting as a dentist advocating a root canal.)
Elm: "You can go in our place, right? Can we count on you? You can choose one of the pokémon over there." (...Oh, all right, if it means I won't have to suffer through yet another of your psychological 'tests'.)





...I hate you.

Elm: "You can take it all the way to Mr Pokémon's house. If your chicorita gets hurt, you should heal it with this machine; it's so easy to use, you just put the stones on the rack and run the PokéHealth program on my PC." (Isn't it impossible to actually /kill/ these things?)
Elm: "Mr Pokémon goes everywhere and finds rarities. His house is a bit north of Cherrygrove City. I'm counting on you, Henry!"



Thanks for the potions, man. I hope I won't be needing them, though...

Aide: "Pokémon are weak in the beginning, so don't hesitate to use a Potion if you think yours are in danger." (...Wait, these Potions are for that possessed plant?! Fuck you, sir.)



Lyra: "Henry! So you picked a chicorita, huh. What an adorable pokémon!" ('Adorable'? This hellplant? Good God, you're crazy.)
Lyra: "When you walk with it, it'll become more friendly. You should turn around and talk to it sometimes, too." (Girl, the only reason this thing would be friendly to anything is when it's spotted new prey.)
Lyra: "Oh, that's right! Why don't you show it to your mom? See ya!" (Why? My mother hasn't done anything to piss me off lately.)



Mom: "Professor Elm gave it to you? And he has a job for you? What kind of job?" (Retrieving an egg from Mr Pokémon.)
Mom: "I see... That sounds a bit difficult, but when someone asks you for a favour like that, it must be important!" (If you say so, mom.)
Mom: "Oh, that's right! I completely forgot! Your PokéGear came back from the repair shop! Here you go." (Yaaay!)



Elm: "I almost completely forgot about this... Here, I'll give you my number. I'll call you if anything comes up." (Um... okay...)

Guide Gent: "That's okay, though; everyone's a rookie at some point. Please, allow me to show you around." (Hey! Slow down, man!)
Guide Gent: "Oh, I'm sorry... I didn't notice you weren't wearing a pair of running shoes. I'll try to go as slow as possible, then." (Thanks, dood.)



Guide Gent: "You'll be relying on them a lot, so you better learn about them."
Guide Gent: "This is an Apothecary. They sell dodecahedral stones for catching wild pokémon, as well as other useful items."



Guide Gent: "Trainers will be battling their pokémon there. If you go a little farther, you'll see Mr Pokémon's house." (Oh! Thanks!)
Guide Gent: "This is the sea, as you can see. Some pokémon are only found in water."



Guide Gent: "For your effort keeping up with me, I'll give you my running shoes! They're still warm!" (Fuck you.)
Guide Gent: "Got you, didn't I? Don't worry, these are brand new!" (No, seriously. Fuck you.)



Guide Gent: "I have a Map Card for you!" (Now that is useful!)
Guide Gent: "I wish you luck on your journey!"



Apricorn Man: "How in the world can you be so oblivious to my eye-catching house? Hold it right there!" (You call that 'eye-catching'? It looks more like you barely fought off a bunch of zombies. And what the fuck is that smell?!)
Apricorn Man: "When you follow that path up north, you will see Mr Pokémon's house, but before you go, let me finish what I have to say. Do you...have any apricorns?" (What the fuck I don't even)
Apricorn Man: "Apricorn trees bear fruit once a day, and there's one next to my house. They're really something, you know; you can make dodecahedral stones and other things with them. I have a feeling this is meant to be, because I have something for you!" (Uh... Thanks, I guess.)
Apricorn Man: "With that Apricorn Box, you can carry a lot of apricorns. You'll be a decent apricorn collector!" (Decent? Decent?! Well fuck you too, sir.)


I included this image because it's one of a number of peeves I have with this localization. The original game had space limitations, I will admit, but I didn't think Heart Gold was that hard up for space. And this is only just one example.



Mr Pokémon: "This is what I want Professor Elm to examine. A friend of mine from Ecruteak gave it to me. I bet you can't find this kind of egg in Johto, and I figured Professor Elm would be able to tell what kind it is. 'He's the best when it comes to the research of pokémon evolution', as Professor Oak likes to say."
Mr Pokémon: "Here, your pokémon should have some rest before you head back to Professor Elm's lab."



Oak: "I'm Professor Oak, a pokémon researcher! So you're Henry, huh. I was just visiting Mr POkémon when I heard you were running an errand for Professor Elm, so I waited here." (Let me guess. You have a favour to ask of me, too.)
Oak: "Oh! What's this? A rare pokémon! I see, you must be helping Professor Elm with his research! I think I understand why he gave you that pokémon: you'll treat your pokémon with love and care, it seems." (...Are you insane?!)



I knew it.

Oak: "See? This is the latest version of the Pokédex. It automatically records data on pokémon you've seen or caught; it's a high-tech encyclop�dia! I'd like you to have it." (Maaaaaan. What is with you pokéfreaks and making me do shit for you? Seriously...)
Oak: "Go meet many kinds of pokémon and complete that Pokédex! But I've stayed too long—my radio show's on in two hours and it'll take me that long to get to Goldenrod!"
Oak: "Henry, I have a feeling that this is not the last time we'll meet. Let's exchange numbers, just to be on the safe side." (Sure thing.)

And just as I step out the door, Professor Elm calls me. Goddamnit.

Elm: "H-hello? Henry? It's a disaster! Uh...um...it's just terrible! What should I do? It...oh, no... Please get back here now!" *click*

This can't be good...

Next Time: A Thief, Some Fights, and Violet City Gym!

Part II Post-Update Comments:

Okay, here's the save for the contest I mentioned in the introductory post. Also, here's Cucumber's stats as of the end of this update:



Most of the data here should be self-explanatory, but just to be safe:

• The Type lists the one or two affinities the pokémon has. In this case, the Grass Type means Cucumber takes double damage from Bug, Fire, Flying, Ice, and Poison moves. However, it also means he takes half damage from Electric, Grass, Ground, and Water moves and any Grass moves he uses receive a 50% boost in damage.
• The Nature is a trait that makes pokémon more unique. Cucumber's Na�ve Nature means his Special Defense won't grow as much as it otherwise would. Conversely, Cucumber's Speed will improve more than another chicorita's might.
• While Cucumber isn't holding an Item now, there are many Items that pokémon can hold for various effects. I'll go over them in detail once we get our first held Item.
• The Moves list shows what Cucumber can do. In this case, he can Tackle for decent damage and Growl at an opponent to reduce their physical damage output. Moreover, Razor Leaf is a Grass move, which does more damage than Tackle and has an increased chance of landing a critical hit.
• The Ability is a special trait—some species have two Abilities, but they only have the one slot and it's filled when you encounter the pokémon. Overgrow is an Ability common to all Grass starters which places another 50% boost to damage (as a multiplier to the Same Type Attack Bonus (STAB)), rather than merely adding another half of the base damage (prior to the STAB); this effect kicks in when the the pokémon is reduced to 1/3rd or less of their maximum HP. The Fire starters' version of this Ability is Blaze, while the Water starters' version is Torrent.
• Lastly, the bit hanging off (copy the image URL to a new tab or window and force-reload (ctrl-F5 or ctrl-shift-R) if it's not already visible) is the Characteristic; it shows what stat the highest Individual Value of the pokémon is allocated to. In this case, the highest IV is on Speed and it's either 4, 9, 14, 19, 24, or 29. This Cucumber is greased, doods. �.�

What I'm not showing here, because it's irrelevant until after we beat Whitney, the Goldenrod City Gym's Leader, are the Pokéathlon statistics. I'm also not showing the ribbons, because those are pretty much irrelevant for the main game.

Great writeup! Would read again A+!

In all seriousness, keep it up. I like the style.

He watches
lurking beneath the sea

Nerd alert:

STAB is a 1.5x bonus to damage (+50%). Overgrow activates at 1/3 HP or less and adds a second 1.5x bonus, so the overall bonus is actually 2.25 with it active, not 1.5.

Good LP, will look forward to the next installment.

There's one stat you haven't shown: the "characteristic", a phrase like "Likes to run." or "Capable of taking hits." It isn't just flavour, but for your purposes, it might as well be. (GameFreak trolling #n: "Often scatters things." and "Scatters things often." are both legal, and mean different things.)

Wait, that has an effect?? I might have included it, but I really don't have anywhere to put it. (That 'blank' space around Cucumber's portrait is likely to be occupied for other pokémon.)

In Cucumber's case, the characteristic is 'quick to flee'.

The effect it shows is that it gives an idea about a specific IV the pokemon has, although if I remember correctly it could be any number of like four or five IV numbers. It's nothing hugely important.

To put it simply, the characteristic of a Pokémon lets you know which stat it has its highest IV in, as well as the value of the first digit. In Chikorita's case, Quick to Flee means it might have a Speed IV of either 4, 9, 14, 19, 24, or 29, and that the rest of its stats are either equal to it or lower. Between that and the Naive nature, it could turn out to be pretty darn fast for its species! :D

Although it's hard to tell for sure (as the stats might have been knocked a point higher due to effort values/stat experience from combat), you can calculate the approximate IVs from the stats: HP 10-22, Atk 15-26, Def 20-29, SpA 2-14, SpD 20-29, Spe 24 or 29. Not a bad Chikorita at all, and as you say, it looks like it'll be very fast for its species. (Not that Chikoritas are fast in an absolute sense...)

For those who don't know, IVs or individual values are one of the four main factors in determining how a Pokémon's stat growth goes, and range from 0-31; they're random, with no way to change them after the Pokémon is generated. The others are nature, which has been covered already; effort values, which are basically stat experience gained from battling, and species.

For the benefit of the curious (I won't be doing this for all pokémon): Cucumber's IVs are 13/16/22/24/23/24.

[EDIT]

Minor update to Cucumber's stat card; the type graphic has been replaced and the moves' colours now reflect the colours I will be using for all typed information on stat cards here on out. For the benefit of people who wish to use this font for their own stat cards in other LPs, here's the font file:



I will be making another edit once I've abstracted the wider font from the image posted on the Spriter's Resource. Enjoy. (The font is Nintendo's, the colouration is mine under a Creative Commons Attribution/Share-Alike license.)

Part III: A Thief, Some Fights, and Violet City Gym



On my way back to New Bark, I encountered this redhead who seemed to think he was better'n Jesus. You should've seen the look on his face when Cucumber ate his cyndaquil. While he was pissing'n'moaning over the poor porcupine, Cucumber also lifted his wallet. (I scolded him, of course, but only after I'd gotten his trainer card.)



He ran off after snatching the card and his wallet back out of my hands, though, muttering something about becoming the world's greatest pokémon trainer. Anyone who willingly trains these demons has to be nuts.



I got back to Professor Elm's lab to find him talking to a detective—apparently Terry's cyndaquil was stolen from this lab. Of course, the moron immediately tried to pin it on me; I think he's been watching too many cop shows or something, because he said something about rule #1 being that the perp will return to the scene of the crime.



Fortunately, Lyra ran in and intervened—apparently she saw Terry snooping around outside prior to the burglary. The officer thanked me after I related my own run-in with the punk, and left, followed shortly by Lyra. Professor Elm, of course, immediately asked what hisss preciousss Mr Pokémon had wanted to show him. I gave him the egg—he didn't seem all that impressed by it; apparently Mr Pokémon finds eggs all the time, or something.



I also showed him the PokéDex Professor Oak gave me. He flipped his shit (read as: suggested I go engage in cock fights with this hellplant in tow and said it would be fun). Naturally, I had to go tell my mother...



...who apparently also wants me to go. At least she offered to take care of my savings account while I'm gone, though.



Shortly after I left New Bark Town (for the last time, I swore), Lyra accosted me and insisted she teach me how to catch pokémon with dodecahedral stones. Please. That isn't even remotely difficult. On my way back to Cherrygrove and on to Violet, I caught a few devils, however:



From Cherrygrove to Violet, I was of course accosted by four young louts. "My pokeymans," they said, "let me show you them!" The second and third were, alas, the only ones to run off screaming after Dark Young and Byakiot crushed their pokémon. The first, a lad named Joey (who also seemed to be into some strange card-based religion), wanted my number so he could try again later. The fourth, Wade, wanted it so he could give me berries. I agreed to both, of course—crushing the spirits of my foes is always great for distracting me from the cruel fate Professor Elm gave me, and I'm always game for free shit.



Upon reaching Violet City, I spoke with several townies, all of whom suggested I ascend the Bellsprout Tower before taking on the Leader of Violet City Gym, William Falkner. By the time I reached the top, I'd already caught a gastly and run the monks' gauntlet. I was surprised, however, when I ran into Terry—he'd apparently taken on the abbot in charge of the tower and won. He ran off after spouting more crap about how he would be the best trainer ever. I, of course, also took on the abbot—and won. I think I'll take a break before I hit up the Gym, though.

Next Time: Clipped Wings, An Egg, and a Cave

Yes, I know this update was short. I had some technical difficulties, resulting in it taking 2-3 times as long as it should've to get from New Bark back to Cherrygrove and on up to Violet. Next update will be longer, I promise.

Post-Content Update:
Current Roster:

Aside from gaining a couple levels and learning Poison Powder, nothing new here. Poison Powder has a good chance to inflict Poison on its targets.


Rock Head blocks damage from moves which would otherwise have recoil damage. Defense Curl increases Defense by one stage per use. Finally, Mud Sport decreases the effectiveness of Electric moves.


Sentret is one of the trashiest pokémon in the game (Feebas and Magikarp take the 'trashiest' title, of course), and it shows. Keen Eye prevents accuracy from being lowered. Scratch has 5 more Power and Accuracy than Tackle in Gen4, but is otherwise exactly the same. (It's worth noting that Tackle got boosted to 50 Power and 100% Accuracy in Gen5, though.) Foresight resets the target's evasion to normal, blocks future evasion boosting until the target leaves the field, and forces Ghost types to take damage from Normal and Fighting moves.


Tangled Feet increases evasion when the pokémon is under the Confusion status condition. Sand Attack reduces the target's accuracy. Lastly, Gust inflicts double damage to pokémon which have used Bounce, Fly, or Sky Drop immediately previously and have not yet inflicted damage with those moves; additionally, it may be used to target the farthest-away pokémon in Triple Battles (a Gen5 addition).


Swarm is the Bug version of Cucumber's Overgrow ability. Poison Sting inflicts minimal damage and has a chance to inflict Poison. String Shot reduces the target's Speed by one stage. Scary Face reduces the target's Speed by two stages.


Levitate gives the pokémon the Flying-type immunity to Ground moves (which is useful, given Poison is weak to Ground). Hypnosis has a chance of inflicting Sleep. Lick inflicts minimal damage and has a chance to inflict Paralysis. Spite reduces one of the target's moves' PP by 4. Mean Look prevents the target from leaving the field.

Most likely to get kicked off the team: Rikki Tikki Tavi

Catching Pokémon

So, you know how to catch pokémon. It's as easy as throwing a ball, right? Hold on there, knuckleheads, because it's not nearly as easy as it looks. Let's cover when, under what conditions, and with what tools you will be catching pokémon.

All pokémon have a base capture rate, in the range 0-255. Of course, there are no pokémon with a 0 capture rate—these are instead event pokémon, and can only be obtained by going to some special event at a retailer near you. The five major status conditions (Burn, Sleep, Paralysis, Poison, and Frozen) affect the capture rate differently, with Sleep helping the most.

The most common pokémon also correspondingly have the best capture rates (example: pidgey has a 255 base capture rate), but this doesn't necessarily mean that you can just up and throw a plain-jane pokéball at a pidgey and catch it. Guaranteed success depends on the ball you use, the level of the pokémon, what status conditions (if any) it's under, and various ball-specific specials.

The formula for capture rate is as follows (code brought to you by my favourite pokédex, Veekun.com):

The above formula depends on pokéball information, of course, as well as pokémon information. I would strongly suggest, however, that you use veekun.com's pokéball performance calculator—it's much less math!

Part IV: Clipped Wings, An Egg, and a Cave

After I left the Bellsprout Tower, I did some investigating. As it turns out, the Violet City Gym favours avian pokémon, and apparently several flocks of mareep hang out to the south of Violet City. What an electrifying discovery! I think these devil beasts must be brainwashing me now, since I went and caught a mareep. Oh, yeah—I don't think I introduced you to Gastella properly...



Isn't he ador—gah! Where'd my tinfoil hat go?! Ahem. Yes. So now I have a raigami in my lineup. Unfortunately, you can only have six devil-beasts under your control at once. I planned for this, however—Rikki Tikki Tavi was shipped off to some weirdo's Digital Devil Storage System. After training Angus for a bit, we finally went and struck down Falkner's honour guard.



And then I went for William Falkner himself. Do you know what happens to a bird when it's struck by lightning?



The same thing that happens to everything else. Falkner was quite visibly vexed by the end; apparently they were his dad's demonspawn. I...I don't think I'm going to touch that relationship, even with a 10' pole. Anyway, he gave me the Zephyr Badge—which apparently empowers all of my dodecahedral stones just by having one in my badge case—as well as a strange, light purple sphere, which he claimed would teach the 'Roost' move to pokémon. Falkner also suggested I head to Azalea next—maybe there's another Gym there. Just as I was leaving the Gym, though...



...Professor Elm called. Apparently that egg he had me retrieve from Mr Pokémon will only hatch in the presence of other pokémon, so he sent his assistant to Violet City so it could be delivered to me. Siiiiigh. I agreed, however, and went to the pokémon center so I could ship Byakiot to DDS, then over to the pokémart to pick up the egg, some stones, and more potions.



This lady accosted me as I was leaving the store—I think she's a Noh actress or something. Apparently she wants me to keep the egg safe—said it was important. What's so important about a mere egg...? Anyhow... so I went on south to Azalea, and fought several trainers along the way. Three—Liz, Ralph, and Anthony—exchanged numbers with me. In fact, Cucumber evolved into a bayleef after we fought Anthony. Shortly after that...



...A group of street toughs calling themselves Team Rocket kicked a man out of a well after arguing with him over whether they'd broken up three years ago or something like that. None of my business, though, right? I wish. Turns out, the well's just outside of Azalea, the Gym's closed, and the toughs are chopping off slowpokes' tails.



Normally I wouldn't care—they are devilbeasts, after all—but in this case Kurt, the famous sorcerer (pictured above) who enjoys Apricorns and enchants custom dodecahedral stones, won't create any more until Team Sprocket's taken care of. Anyway, Kurt apparently tumbled down the well so I get to take on Team Docket myself. Their pokémon blow so much I've decided to keep a running count of how many of them they've thrown at me:

Team Locket Pokémon Faint Count:

• Rattata x3
• Zubat x4
• Ekans
• Koffing

Total: 9 Team Socket pokémon fainted.

The head honcho, some big wheeze who calls himself Proton, claimed he was rebuilding Team Hocutt before he left. Man, what a pompous ass. Anyway, Kurt came hobbling in shortly afterward—his back magically got better, apparently—how convenient. We went back to his place, he gave me a set of stones in thanks for helping rid the town of Team Pocket.

Next time: Somebody Call for an Exterminator?

Post-Update Bonus:

Whew, what an update. I'll post the stat cards tomorrow, when I'm not pissed at the world in general and FFVA, DeSmuME, Columbus State's financial aid office, and my computer in particular.

Unown, Spinda, and Luvdisc would like to talk to you.

What? They are. Not even the fact that they both evolve into badasses is enough to save them from being crowned the trashiest pokémon in existence, since the only moves they can get are Tackle, Flail, and as of Gen4, Bounce. (Mind you, a team of six Lv100 Magikarp and/or Feebas would be hilarious.)

And all Unown gets is freaking Hidden Power.

Meanwhile, Magikarp and Feebas can use the power of Flail to take down super strong opponents. Spinda and Luvdisc can... wish they were better, I guess.

In case you were wondering, Feebas is way, way, better than Magikarp (it's about on a par with Luvdisc, which is not at all good, but Magikarp is rather below there). You see, with all the similarities between Feebas and Magikarp, people miss the most important difference; unlike Magikarp, Feebas is entirely capable of using TMs. (It also has egg and tutor moves. Interestingly, Magikarp gets one tutor move Feebas doesn't: Bounce.)

So here's a comparison: Magikarp can use its base 10 physical Attack stat to Tackle, Flail, or Bounce on its opponents for trivially small damage. (Luckily, even a very low base stat can be brought up to a plausible number with IVs and EVs, which is relevant if you ever end up being forced to use a Magikarp competitively for whatever reason.) It has a base 15 Special Attack stat, but gets no moves to use it with. Feebas, meanwhile, can use its base 15 physical attack stat for such moves as Waterfall (which is much, much better than Tackle), actually gets moves to use with its base 10 Special Attack stat if it wants to (it doesn't), and most importantly, gets a range of status and side-effect moves like Whirlpool, Swagger, and Toxic. Thus, you'd expect a Feebas to actually accomplish something, if something minor, if the opponent didn't attack it. (Magikarp is "setup bait", meaning that the opponent can just spend indefinite time preparing against it; Feebas isn't.)

Luvdisc is better than either, having considerably better base stats (wow! a huge 30 base Attack!), and a similar movepool to Feebas (did you know it gets Flail too?). And Spinda has a great movepool, and is mostly let down by its poor stats of base 60 in everything. But 60 is overwhelmingly high by the standards of this conversation.

As for Unown, the less said about its movepool, the better. I do have the distinction of actually having used an Unown (with HP Ice) to beat Falkner, though; in the original Gold/Silver, it's one of the few supereffective moves you can get against him before facing him (I think the Mareep are inaccessible until after the first badge in that version). (Later on, I tried to use it against Claire. It, umm, didn't work.)

Meanwhile, I actually quite like Sentret, and have used it throughout an entire game before. (Admittedly, the team was deliberately made out of bad Pokémon, with the exception of things like Gyarados that evolve from bad Pokémon; I ended up scarfing a Butterfree and abusing Sleep Powder.) It ended up with Foresight and Whirlpool, and was my go-to Pokémon for weakening Raikou and Entei. (Also, a Normal-type Pokémon with Foresight is just hilarious in Morty's gym; it let me clean it up in HGSS, as opposed to my Silver playthrough where I had to beat him via PP stalling him through AI abuses.)

Other things to consider for the title of trashiest Pokémon in existence: Metapod/Kakuna caught wild (although in HG/SS, you can actually tutor them an attacking move; Platinum was particularly trollish by adding Iron Defence to their movepools); Sunkern (yay base 30 in every stat!); and (until/unless the rumoured Dream World Ditto which is actually very good is released) Ditto, which is massively exploitable in all sorts of ways.

(Incidentally, the worst fully-evolved Pokémon that doesn't fall into the category of hopelessly trashy is Ledian, it seems. Competitive analyses of it tend to fall down to "at least it isn't as bad as Luvdisc".)

Yeah, well Sunkern can totally own Pokethons. If you somehow manage to figure out how to actually give it the five stars anyways.

In light of the fact that I will be spending Friday getting stuff together for the start of school next week, I will not be updating this Friday. I'll likely be getting my laptop (a ThinkPad Edge 0301, for the curious) either this or next week, and I will be doing future updates on that instead, as otherwise I'm likely to be burned out by how horribly CPU-bound (and shoddily-written) DeSmuME is.