A Splendid Little Holy War: Let's play Chaos World!

Not one, but three different kinds of palette-swapped bats? Oh Chaos World, you spoil us so.

In the game's defense, they did warn me:

Do I even want to know how many kinds of roaches there are?

Episode III: In the vicinity of a desert for a horse with no name


No one in Rodetia knows anything about Ideia, so Swift and her crew pack it up and go kill things.


Level ups happen. Equipment is purchased across the greater

• Rodetia-Rarm-Nazaal area:
• Magic Bracelets for Nande and Wendy (3 Def, 1 Mag)
• Ancient Staff for Nande (8 Atk, 4 Mag and 4 Int)
• Chainmail for Swift (9 Def)
• Iron Spear for Baran (11 Atk)

There's also juicy gossip in Rarm. Apparently, Swift is going off to meet Meldi's beau in Ruval. You know, if she had a boyfriend, why wasn't he the one saving her? Perhaps he's mentally a kid and incapable of taking any initiative, or was busy napping when he shouldn't have been?

As far as information on Ideia goes, Rarm is also a bust.


Nazaal, on the other hand, at least has one old geezer with a token bit of information. Sure, it's basically the same thing the King told Swift last time, but that's worth marginally more than the slack-jawed stares she's been getting so far.


If you'll rememberlook at the last page, Nazaal was the town with the memorial for loggers who died clearing out the forest. If you'll think back fartherlook at the first page, you'll see that there's a big ass forest between the three kingdoms that's meant to act as a barrier between them. This woman here believes the forest is cursed, but it sounds more like the forest guardians are doing their jobs. She mentions that they've even posted a job at the Guild.

Hey! That's right! Nazaal has a Guild, and Swift can use it now!


And a new ally is waiting! This is Leon the Mal Ftr. If we had picked any other class/gender as our main character, we would have met Midy the Fem Thf here instead. Upon hearing that Swift saved Meldi, Leon is all too happy to join up.

Then he's immediately shipped off to clear the holy forest.


A few days later...
Leon returns with bad news: Desecrating the holy land is hard and we should just give up. There's no way to really "complete" this quest, because no matter who you send out, they'll always come back whining about monsters. Oh well, I'm sure this won't become any kind of plot point later in the game!

In spite of this, Swift doesn't want to the stench of Leon's failure on her when she meets the King of Ruval, so he's gonna have to sit here in the Nazaal Guild and contemplate his personal shortcomings.


The Border Cave is just a stone's throw north of Nazaal.


It has the same eye-searing cyan walls as the cave near Rarm. If you come here early, the guard refuses to step aside, saying you need the King's permission.


The Border Cave dumps Swift out on the central continent. She wisely chooses to heed the warnings of the guard and stays along the coast.


It takes about a day to reach the Ruval Border Cave.


The cave is slightly more complex than the previous one, as it features a branching path and a dead end.


There's no indication of where to go once Swift exits the Border Cave. She can head north or west. North leads up a peninsula (with nothing to find), while west leads to Ruval.


Swift continues her habit of sneaking into towns in the middle of the night, a vaguely thiefy activity. It appears that Ruval has seen better days: The sidewalk and ground are filled with cracks and crevices. It looks like it's time for a little fact finding mission before going to bed.


Levin, the Prince of Ruval and lover of Rodetia's Princess Meldi, was kidnapped last month, the rapscallions who kidnapped him have also been taking the kingdom's food and money, and usual the local law enforcement is absolutely useless.

None of this explains why the city looks like it's been under mortar fire.

Maybe there are answers at the Guild?


Nope! Just an ineffectual town guard wallowing in fear! Swift isn't having any of his whiny bullshit. She's a woman who dragged the lifeless body of her companion out of a dungeon of no return at level 5. Do you know what kind of motherfucker it takes to enter a dungeon of no return at level 5? One with steel ovaries.


There's a new party member hanging out in the Guild, too. Orion the WBu_Pall won't join Swift just yet. No jobs are available, so it looks like Swift is gonna have to go talk to the King in the morning to get things started.


For some asshole reason, the Church here in Ruval is hidden down in the southeastern corner of town where you have to walk along the edge of the map to reach. This is the second time Chaos World has pulled this mess.


Before seeing the King, Swift wants to see what Ruval has to offer, and boost their local economy, if at all possible.

New Gear:

• Red Crystal: For Shamns only. Raises Atk by 24, Def by 10, Int by 8 and Mag by 14 (or maybe Mag and Int are the other way around?). It looks really powerful, but there are only four crystals in the game: One is the junky one that Shamns are equipped with from the start, Red and Blue ones, which are functionally identical except their Int and Mag values are reversed, and one we'll find in a dungeon way later in the game. So, for all intents and purposes, this is what Shamns will be equipped with for the rest of the game.
• White Vestments: For everyone but Knights and Ftrs. Raises Def by 10.
• Iron Shield: For Ftrs and Knights, raises Def by 9.
• Silver Bracelet: For everyone but Ftrs and Knights. Raises Def by 6, Int by 2 and Mag by 1.

The only thing Swift invests in at the moment is the White Vestments for Nande. Yeah, that's right, the guy with the healing spell gets priority.

There's also magic Swift actually wants! Actually, I probably need to go over all the spells we've seen so far anyway, right?
Spells from Rodetia:

• Flame: Elemental magic. A single target fire spell that costs 1 MP. It can be equipped by any class.
• L Flame: Elemental magic. Hits all enemies for 3 MP. Can only be equipped by Mages, Bshps and Shamns.
• Siren: Elemental magic. Mutes enemies for 4 MP. Can be used by anyone but Thfs and Priests, apparently.
• Feel: Divine Magic. Heals one ally at a cost of 2 MP. Can be used by anyone.
• Pois-C: Divine Magic. Cures a single ally of poison for 1 MP. Can be used by Thfs, Priests, Shamn and Bshps.
• Antima: Divine Magic. Raises the party's defense and can reflect damage for 6 MP. Can be used by Priests, Shamn and Bshps.
• Anti: Divine Magic. Raises the party's defense against negative status ailments for 3 MP. Can be used by Priests, Shamn and Bshps.

Wow, that Antima spell sure sounds sweet, don't it? Well, apparently Chaos World has a little quirk where only one spell can be in effect at a time, so Antima would only last until the next time anyone cast a spell. Now, this could provide for some interesting strategies if the player had more input in battle. Unfortunately, you can't make your characters cast spells, nor can you keep them from casting once they do put Antima up.

Spells from Ruval:

• Freeze: Elemental magic. A single target ice spell that costs 2 MP. It can be equipped by any class.
• L Freeze: Elemental magic. Hits all enemies for 4 MP. Can only be equipped by Mages, Bshps and Shamns.
• Turning: Elemental magic. Allows you to immediately escape a dungeon and return to the world map for 6 MP. Can be used by anyone but Priests.
• Para-C: Divine magic.Heals paralysis for 5 MP. Priests, Shamn and Bshps only.

It's difficult to really gauge the usefulness of offensive magic, or the difference in elements because of the way the battle system works. It doesn't list when a character is casting a spell, you have to rely on seeing them attack, and listening for the sound of the spell, and hoping the damage displayed on the enemy's side is from that spell and not a different character attacking.

Anyway. Nande needs Pois-C and Swift needs Turning, both of which are two of the most useful spells in the game. Unfortunately, budgetary concerns cause Swift to get Pois-C first and forgo Turning for now. The enemies outside of Ruval can poison, so she'll be dealing with that mess well before she encounters the inevitable dungeon of no return coming up.


Actually, let's go ahead and get the money for that spell right now before we talk with the King. The Ruval area is home to tons of monsters that deal magic damage, such as Witches and Ghosts. They tend to travel in packs (Ghosts in groups of five!) and as you can see, they shave off between 8 and 10 HP per attack. For reference, pretty much everything Swift has come across has only hit for 1 HP per attack.

Grinding up cash also nets more glorious level ups. Baran is still gaining tons of HP per level up. Swift gets Turning, Herbs and PoisHerbs are purchased.

Let's go chat with the King!


The castle seems to be in relatively good shape, considering the rest of the city looks like a war zone. Or a reasonable approximation of a war zone for a FC RPG.


If only Ruval had, like, guards or something. They could have protected the Prince, or gone and saved him from the kidnappers! The heavily armored sewing circle continue their fretting in the guard quarters.


There's a jail downstairs. Ruval has no laws about "cruel and unusual punishment," so they have no problem with locking up their prisoners in this wretched cyan-walled jail. It's never really explained why these people are locked up down here.


Upstairs in the throne room...
Hey the people in town told us the same thing, King. Give us new information, thanks. Swift does learn that the people of Ruval are asking for foreign aid, and I think that would have been a much better reason to have Swift come here in the first place. Like, the King of Rodetia could have told her that Ruval is having some trouble and that she should go adventure there instead of this stupid plot about an evil religion.

(We won't find out any new information about Ideia in this scenario at all)


In a side room, Ragon, the captain of the guards, says that his men are currently searching for the Prince. Although Ragon has the same sprite as Baran did back in Rarm, he is not a playable character.

Ragon does, however, exhaust all of Swift's leads. Really, no one in town so much as drops a hint on where to find the Prince. You know what that means? It's time for everyone's favorite 8-bit RPG system, "Walk in the direction that doesn't have monsters eating your face" There's a vast, expansive desert just west of Ruval. You'd think that large, obvious landmark would serve an immediate purpose, but no: The monsters in the desert will grind the party into the sand. There's nothing up north, and east is back to the border. That leaves only one option:


South to a little hovel called Ripona.


Swift once again arrives in a new town under the cloak of darkness. Within fifteen seconds of arriving, she finds one of the two people still out and about at this hour and squeezes the location of the kidnappers out of him: Abandoned Mines west of town.

The next morning...
The weapon shop has a Steel Bow. Swift wants that bow. It raises her Atk by 20. That's nearly three times as powerful as the Short Bow she started with (7 Atk). She is, unfortunately, lacking in funds at the moment, but you know what that means!


Kill kill kill fight fight fight

The Landmole, I believe, is a desert enemy that I accidentally ran into, and it deals physical damage. Yeah, it's hitting Baran with physical attacks and dealing 11 HP of damage.


The Steel Bow is bought, as is a hefty supply of recovery items. The Abandoned Mine is quite a stroke from Ripona, and pretty long themselves, so it's best to be stocked up.


There's a border just southwest of Ripona. You need the king's permission.


The Abandoned Mine is much farther west.

It's also the game's first "real" dungeon, and it's kind of a doozy. The man back in town who said it was full of Bats and Roaches was not whistling dixie: Literally, the only encounters in this dungeon are Roaches, which aren't particularly damaging but have HP, and various types of Bats, none of which are worth really talking about.

Upon arriving in the Abandoned Mine and fighting a single battle, Swift decides it might be better to hike back to town and restock on items, try out some new spells, and see about some equipment.


Wendy had this to say in Ruval. It seems she says this if you don't have any curative items in the inventory, because I got this message twice when I was out of supplies. Wendy ends up getting the most preparation of anyone: White Vestments and L Flame to help with taking out those large enemy groups.


And then Swift walked back to the Abandoned Mine.


The Mine is a horrible maze of interconnected paths. There are twenty-two staircases here, not counting the exit or the one that leads to the boss room. I actually dig the aesthetics far more than the other cave graphic the game uses.

A chest near the bottom of the first room contains 347G!! More money is always welcome, but that's not what Swift is really looking for. There's another chest here that has a much better reward inside, and she's not leaving until she gets it.

(In other words, she ends up running away from every battle she can to try and preserve Nande's rapidly dwindling MP pool.)


And then she finally finds it after consulting a map through her Thf's Intuition. The Flame Staff is a weapon that'll be carrying our Mages for most of the game. It only raises Atk by 2, but raises Mag by a whopping 12 points. There are only two staves in the game that raise Mag any higher, and those are both end game stuff.


But by this point, the party's pretty much tapped out. No items, Nande's down to 1 MP, Wendy's already blown through half of her's, and Baran's already lost a third of his HP. On the positive side, they've amassed roughly 1500G during this one trip. I smell a shopping spree in the near future!

Like, ok, I know I'm prone to hyperbole, but y'all. Look at this place. S is the starting point, and F is the goal. Now imagine trying to navigate this without the labels while bats keep flying smack into your face.

Swift busts out Turning and they hike all the way back to Ripona.


...where Wendy reminds Swift, once again, to get prepared for the journey. Swift gets a shiny new Silver Bracelet, while Baran becomes Iron Man by purchasing an Iron Helmet and an Iron Shield.


One final trip to the Mine.

Once again utilizing maps on the internet her Thf's Intuition, Swift makes a beeline to the boss room in the Mine, while telling her allies to Use MP even though she means Don't Use MP. It's ok, they know what she means.

Upon entering the kidnappers' lair, Swift is immediately accosted for stealing their treasure and releasing the prince. She didn't do either of those things, but thanks to you Tyrants their accusations of her being a thief are completely accurate.


The battle with the Kidnappers is every bit as epic as it looks. Surviving boils down to how many MP Nande has. If Swift had come straight here after she picked up the Flame Staff the party would have been mincemeat, but after a peaceful night's sleep at an inn and a sack full of healing items, the party had no problem putting them down. They leave behind a Gold Necklace after battle.


There's an Iron Shield hiding in one of the open chests, and also random battles. Whoever looted this place doesn't seem to have done such a great job.Though, now that I think about it, someone else doing the hero's job for them is distressing. Let's get to the bottom of this.


I think this lady's missing a question mark.


The buzz around Ripona is that the prince was in town the day before, accompanied by a man in black who allegedly saved him. Just who in the dickens was that? Orion?


Up in Ruval, the people have perked up even though their city still looks like crap. No one seems to know anything about the man in black. Swift's only option is to go up to the castle to straighten this out, and possibly crack a few heads if she missed out on a reward.


The Sewing Circle is about as useful as before. They're not familiar with Ideia, but have heard of Maria, the world's most popular religion. The last guard points out certain biomic incongruities, not that it'll ever be explained. Down in the jail, everyone but the guy in the last cell was released. My fanwanking explanation is that they probably tried to steal food and were caught, but once the Prince was returned and the kidnappers dispatched, they were freed because hey, they're basically good people, right?


Upstairs...

People are still surprised that the man in black wasn't one of Swift's lackeys. Mr. Ragon notes that his men still haven't come back yet. Yeah they're probably still walking around in that god forsaken maze. They'll likely die down there and have their rotting bodies consumed by Bats and Roaches.


The King congratulates Swift and tells her to talk to Prince Levin.


Levin immediately notes the Gold Necklace that Swift has, and explains that it was a gift from Meldi. As a reward, he gives Swift his horse.


Levin finally puts a name to a description: His savior, the man in black, is Aless. He, like just about everyone Swift has spoken to this far, is surprised to find out that they are not acquainted. Instead of offering any clues as to why everyone thinks they know each other or even telling Swift where she can find him, Levin simply dismisses her to talk to his father if she needs anything else.


During the two minute conversation with Levin, the King somehow got word that Swift was on a crusade to wipe out the infidels. He claims to have information about Ideia, but wants a favor first.

…

You know, Swift already performed a double assassination for him and paid her own travel expenses to do so, so you'd think that's all the favors she needs to do. But no, the King wants her to leave one of her lackeys at the guild to help repair the city. It must be nice to be a King. You can force any old ragtag band of travelers into menial labor in exchange for information and/or a passport.

Sigh.

Next time: A mostly new party!

They're certainly getting their moneys worth out of sprite recolors.

You have no idea.

It seems like this game had a lot of potential. Eh, oh well.

Enjoying the LP so far. Keep it up!

Hey remember the days when NPCs would always always always get in the fucking way


(The punch line is that the old dude has nothing useful to say)

I've been playing along and yeah she just refuses to get the hell out of the way.

I'm sure this made a lot of people wish that all games allowed them to attack and kill random NPCs.

Episode IV: The Vatican should play a more important role, don't you think?

Last time, Swift ran around in a godforsaken bat nest and beat up some bandits, thereby ensuring a return to normalcy for the Kingdom of Ruval. The King didn't feel that this kind-hearted traveler had done quite enough for his kingdom, so he asked her to leave one of her flunkies behind to help repair the city in exchange for information on the evil religion of Ideia

At the Guild, Orion the Mal Shamn has come around and joins the party, while Baran is sold into slavery volunteered into helping fix the kingdom by Swift.


With her muscle busy working, Swift decides it would be a good idea to call Leon to town. The guild man tells her it'll take Leon three days to arrive. You can see the 3 where the Y in "Your" should be.


In the meantime, Orion enters the party. He's pretty respectable, except for that abysmal Agi stat. And that cruddy starting equipment. Sheesh.


Now that this pointless little detour has been taken care of, Swift returns to the King to get his juicy information w/r/t Ideia. The mayor of Izaruro was a historian interested in the great war - the one that Ideia started. He was recently murdered, and...

…

That's all.

Apparently the King is not content to just use Swift as an assassin and source of indentured servants. Now she has to work as the Crown's Inspector, solving crimes on another continent.

He does recommend that Swift should stop and rest in Litton. Y'see, this is the game's way of saying, "There's a plot trigger in this town along the way you have no other reason for visiting." It used to come up a lot in JRPGs. The worst of these in my mind was the Mars Village event in Star Ocean 2, because the town you're supposed to be going to is close enough that you wouldn't need to stop to rest and the event is really talky/boring/has nothing to do with anything at all.

Thankfully, Swift isn't gonna be dragged into anything as annoying as that. I think the Mars Village event has more text/dialogue than Chaos World does in its entirity.


Talk around town has changed again: This fella, who's named Roger, tells Swift about the history of the great desert to the west. I'm not certain that's exactly how deserts are made though.


This kid explains that Litton, the city the King told Swift to rest at, is basically Chaos World's version of Vatican City.


After spending a few days fighting random battles outside Ruval, Leon finally arrives at the Guild and joins the party. Poor fella's only at level 6, which at this point is half of Swift's. The party needs someone to do the stabbing though, so in he goes, leaving Wendy behind at the Guild.

At Ruval's store, Leon gets an Iron Sword and Chainmail. He also equips the spare Iron Shield the party found in the kidnapper's hideout. Orion picks up the Red Crystal. The extra Def that crystals give means he can generally get by without the latest gear. He also learns Freeze and Feel from the magic shop, not that he really needs offensive magic.

The enemies south of the border can inflict paralysis, so the party also buys some ParaHerbs to make sure they can make it to the next plot trigger.


You can tell that Leon is the default hero-character, because he looks like the guy from the first Dragon Quest. I, uh, actually thought that Shamn sprites had feathers in their hair, and that's why I made their turnip sprite like that. Whoops!

Anyway, in Ripona, Leon gets an Iron Helmet.


The border guards step aside with little fanfare, and Litton can be seen nestled in the mountains after passing through.

As per tradition, Swift arrives at the new location just as night falls.


The cloak of darkness is not enough to hide her from the all-seeing eye of the plot trigger. As soon as she sets foot in town, a woman with long, goofy ape arms in a white mantle approaches and introduces herself as Michenu. She explains that the mayor's murderer became the new mayor and fears for the safety of the people of Izaruro. She beseeches Swift to kill the murderer and hands over the Sword of Anger to aid her.


And takes her leave.

Well that wasn't suspicious at all!


Strictly speaking, that's all Swift needs to do here. She can turn around mosey on down to Izaruro and make with the assassinating, but might as well poke around Vatican City while we're here, right?

She's immediately scandalized upon finding out a good, god-fearing woman has a lover back in Ruval. Hey Roger's Girlfriend, maybe you should save it for marriage!

There's a grave by the Church that's labeled as Iwan's Grave, and I honestly don't remember if this is related to anything or not.


Although the Church is open at night, there's no clergy here to perform revivals, and only two patrons, one of which doesn't worship Maria because She's against the imbibing of spirits.


There aren't any jobs at the guild, but there is a new character. Sylva, the FcFe__yal refuses to join because she loves the city Litton too much. Gee I wonder if this city will ever be thrown into some kind of danger, forcing Swift to save it and Sylva to join the party in gratitude? I... I legitimately wonder, because I don't know what her recruitment trigger is.


In the morning...
The people here don't have any information on Ideia, but one woman explains that to get to Izaruro, Swift should follow along the southern coast.

Religion brings people peace.


It also causes them to wander around blocking the paths of the less devout


Eventually...

Well that tidbit was certainly worth waiting here for like two real life minutes.


This is the only vaguely interesting bits in the congregation. Everyone else is just grateful for peace and happiness and all that mess. Really, the most interesting thing about this Church, which I remind you is basically this world's Vatican, is that there's no Priest here. If a character dies, you'd have to haul them all the way back to Ruval. This game.


A couple of fellas here have heard of Rodetia: The Chemist here is friends with the Chemist from Rarm. A farmer points out that Nazaal is across the west ocean. This is misleading because Nazaal is to the east (which would mean the "west ocean" is west relative to Nazaal, not the current location) and the ocean is really more of a strait.


Shopping...
At the equipment store:

• Steel Sword: 12 Atk, only for Knights and Ftrs.
• Magic Staff: 16 Atk, 2 Int, 8 Mag, for anyone but Knights and Ftrs.
• Silver Staff: 19 Atk, 8 Int, 2 Mag, for anyone but Knights and Ftrs.
• Blue Crystal: 24 Atk, 10 Def, 14 Int, 8 Mag, for Shamn only.
• Platemail: 13 Def, for Ftrs, Knights and Thfs.
• Mage Wear: 14 Def, for everyone but Ftrs and Knights.
• Orb Ring: 11 Def, 2 Mag, 2 Int, for everyone but Knights and Ftrs.

Wow, there's a lot of good stuff here, but funds are a little low compared to what everyone wants. Leon gets a Steel Sword and Swift a suit of Platemail.

Appropriately enough, all the spells at the magic shop are divine:

• AllFeel: Heals all allies. The Japanese name for the spell is Naughty Tentacles. Costs 8 MP and can be used by Shamn, Priests and Bshps.
• Field: Fully heals one ally. Costs 6 MP and can be used by Shamn, Priests and Bshps.
• Stone-C: Cures "Stone" from one ally for 5 MP. For Shamn, Priests and Bshps.
• Mind: I, uh, don't know what this does. A Japanese website lists the description as "Destroys the enemy's mind - Not 100%" The problem with this is that the word it uses for "mind" is the same word the game uses for the "Int" stat. If I had to guess based on that description, I'd say that it's an instant death spell... except there's another spell we'll eventually see that says "Destroys the enemy's mind nad body - Not 100%" Maybe it only works on spirit-type enemies like Ghosts and Witches? I'll try to experiment with it when I have enough G. It costs 2 MP to cast and can be used by the usual suspects.

After some grinding outside town, Nande learns Para-C, because the Shellsnails in this area are both super fast and can paralyze. Fast snails? Have you no scruples Natsume?

The item shop down here doesn't sell Herbs, to give you some idea of the progress how far along in the game we are. They do have a single new item for sell: Maria Perfume reduces the number of encounters for a short period of time. Apparently it doesn't work in dungeons, and also strong monsters won't be effected, so, uh, it's not that useful.


Stocked up on healing items (including more ParaHerbs, you know, just in case Nande gets paralyzed) and rested, Swift and crew strike out for Izaruro. To get there, she travels south along the coast as far as she can, as per instructions in Litton. When she gets there, there's nowhere else to go but a nearby cave.


Yeah, it's another one of these. This cave is far more elaborate than any of the other cyan-colored ones we've seen this far, but nowhere near as horrifying as the Mine. There's nothing to say about the first floor.


The same can't be said about the next one: It has really long branching paths and treasure!


And Nekomatas!

Anyway, at the first fork pictured above, the upper path leads to treasure while the right one leads to the rest of the dungeon. Swift stupidly traveled nearly all the way to the staircase before realizing she was leaving behind glorious treasure. She turned around and fought her way back through the Nekomatas and the Bats and Roaches to get...


Worthless shit. I'm pretty sure the party wasted more healing items than they were rewarded with. The Maria Perfume is located near the staircase to the next floor.


When Leon hits level 10, he gets to move up to the second spot like a big boy. One day, he might even get to stand out in front.

Anyway, the next floor is also really short, and only contains two chests and the exit. The first chest contains an always welcome Pegasus Wing.


The other one contains an Herb. You know, the item that's so worthless stores don't sell them anymore.


Izaruro is just a short walk northwest from the cave. It's a very small town - only one tile big - and has a conspicuously placed boat nearby. Since this in the NESFamicom, you know that boat will one day be Swift's, and she is very excited to make the upgrade from Thf to Prte.

Sadly, as she's scampering to town, she runs into a wandering Lich. Lichs (which is apparently pronounced "Leash" instead of "Lick," why didn't you D&D players tell meeeee) are nasty magic-using buggers. They're hitting Swift and Leon for around 20 per attack, and that's quite a bit considering that neither character has hit 120 max HP yet. Thank Maria that Nande and Orion are there to Feel them up!

Having felled a Lich and some metal bugs, Swift confidently strides into a new town in broad daylight, head held high, for the first time in her life!


There's no prison break minigame or stealth mission or any of that crap: Swift just walks up to the cell door and a man comes down to let her out.


He apologizes and explains that not only is he the son of the vic, he was an eye witness to the crime. The perpetrator was a woman with goofy ape arms wearing a white cloak. The mayor's son says that the reason people mistook her for the killer is because Swift also wears a white cloak she has the rather distinctive murder weapon, the Sword of Anger. He believes that Michenu is the killer, and turns Swift loose.

(I'm pretty sure the Sword of Anger is removed from Swift's inventory at this point. It was just taking up space because it couldn't be equipped, so it's no loss)


The jail is in his basement. I wonder if there's a jail under the White House?


Swift evidently explains that she's "researching" Ideia. The Mayor's Son says that his dearly departed father was also researching it.

Hi, um, could you stop wasting our time? We totally already knew that, that's the whole reason we came to this godforsaken corner of the world. Y'all have Lichs hanging out on the overworld for chrissakes! Lichs! The undead abominations that are only supposed to hang out in deep dungeons!


He asks Swift to go arrest Michenu, and offers her the use of the city's boat. See, you can tell he's a good guy because he wants Michenu captured instead of telling Swift to murder her. You see this a lot in JRPGs: If the main characters are sent on a mission to attack humanoids, the game will shy away from saying "kill." You'll get stuff like "defeat" or "beat" or "put a stop to" and other such family-friendly euphemisms.

Much like the King of Ruval, the Mayor's Son decides to hold his incredibly valuable information hostage, forcing Swift to do his bidding. Pfft whatever. Crown's Inspector Swift is on the case.


Around town...
Apparently the town only has one ship left, and very shortly they won't even have that one.


Liza is the game's Fem Ftr. She has no qualms about joining the party right off the bat. Because of her bright green hair and red armor (her battle sprite has red armor ok), I'ma call her Samus from now on.


There's a job opening, too, for Knights, Thfs or Shamn. Since the party's Knight is fixing up Ruval and the Thf is the lead character, that means the task falls to Orion the Shamn. Good luck dude! Samus takes his spot on the team, weakening our overall healing capabilities but greatly increasing out stabbing potential.


There's no magic shop or equipment store here in Izaruro, but the item shop more than makes up for it. Well, the item shop and the fact that there's still a buttload of equipment in Litton to be bought. The Elixir is a revival/full heal item, and given the spareness of Churchs around the world they're invaluable. Right now, Swift can't really afford to buy them, but eventually they're gonna take up like 90% of the party's inventory. This is also the first town that sells Pegasus Wings, and from now on Swift will never go anywhere without two.

With her healing items replenished and some Peggy Wings in the horse's saddlebags, Swift prepares to take to the open seasextremely linear rivers.


To get to the boat, you have to out the northern part of town where this fella is standing. He gives Swift unnecessary directions for reaching Litton (sail in the only direction you can sail until you run into an obstacle you can't pass). It occurs to Swift, just as she's about to step aboard, that she should probably let her troops get a good night's sleep before embarking on a fantastic voyage.


That night...

Leon reveals himself to be a bloodthirsty monster. Also incorrect.

Next Time: Something queer at the Vatican

A look at the world map

This is what Chaos World looks like:

Well, close enough, anyway. Mountains block off a lot more than this would lead you to believe. To give you an idea of how far Swift has traveled: Point 0 is Rodetia.

1. Rarm
2. The Pit Cave
3. The Flower Forest
4. Nazaal
5. Rodetia's Border Cave
6. Ruval's Border Cave
7. Ruval
8. Ripona
9. Abandoned Mine
10. Ruval Border
11. Litton
12. Izaruro Cave
13. Izaruro

I'm glad you're doing an LP of this. I've tried to play Chaos World, and just couldn't cope with the battle system. After playing some other FC RPGs like Dark Lord and Radia Senki, it's just unbearable. If it featured full control of at least the protagonist instead of prayers and duct tape, I think I could've done it.

Well, at least Swift has learned a valuable lesson about never taking things from strangers. Her adventure is not just a physical journey, but a spiritual voyage that leads her to personal growth and greater maturity!

Maybe.

Wait so... Michenu told a story about how someone killed the mayor, and then became mayor themselves as a result.

And SWIFT didn't question any part of this?

I am so, so, sorry. I'm playing it so you don't have to!

I think it would work if you control your main character or pause the battle to give out specific orders. Or if formation positions had specific actions tied to them like in Ogre Battle/Soul Nomad.

Well, she already knew the mayor had been murdered, and it usurping a seat of power isn't that uncommon.

...but she totally should have known better when Michy gave her the Sword of Anger and told her to go kill the new mayor. Oh well, I guess Swift's 25 Intelligence points aren't worth much.

I've always pronounced it completely phonetically, Li-ch, one syllable. This reminds me of when my friend was playing Ultima Online and regaling me with tales of how these horrible undead wizards called Licks were destroying him. I thought that was an odd name for a non-tongue themed monster until I realized OH HE MEANS LICHES!

My elementary school principal was Mrs. Litch, and I thought she looked like an undead abomination, so it was all just too perfect.

Click on the speech thingy next to lich.

VINDICATION!

Ugh, this game is just so... what it is.

I tried playing this year or two ago, and couldn't stand it. I had to give up, despite my extremely high tolerance for mediocre (and even outright terrible) RPGs. I salute your incredible fortitude!

Yeah, lich rhymes with ditch itch and rich, exactly like you spell it.

And the proper pluralization is lichen. OK fine, it isn't, but it DOES rhyme with rich.

My tenacity is legendary. I am the heartiest of the root vegetables.

I shouldn't be surprised that such a smiley fellow could be a fun guy!!!

Episode V: Hey have you guys heard of this band called The Lonely Island they have this song about a boat...


When we last left Swift, she was resting up before her trip up to Litton to arrest Michenu for murder, and her companion Leon was making threats that he can't keep.

As you can see, Swift isn't given a whole lot of room to take her sweet new ride for a spin: Two of the three routes are dammed.


The river to Litton is filled with Atlantians, and as far as I saw, only Atlantians. So, just imagine the above image over and over and over. LizaSamus, being at a higher level than Leon, took the Meat Shield Position. She took quite the beating because Swift didn't bother to check her status screen to see what she was equipped with. Surprise, it was bottom of the barrel junk!


It's so bad, in fact, that she only has half the Def that Swift has! On the other hand, I had no idea she had such good Cha and Agi scores! Leon is obviously gonna end up leaving her behind when it comes to Str and HP, but sheesh!


Hohum. Note that the boat can't pass under bridges, which means Swift really is limited to just traveling the river between Litton and Izaruro.


Ruh-roh! In Litton, a woman informs Swift that Michenu's an Ideian Missionary, and she's been busy. But, I mean, this is Vatican City, so she couldn't have done too much damage, right?

...right?


Uh.


B-but, Swift is already on a Crusade for Maria! Those heathens are totally ripping us off!


I'm unclear if Ideia is meant to be some sort of deity or just the name of a religion. Swift won't ever get to go toe-to-toe with an boss named Ideia, and that's kinda what you would expect, and the dialogue can be kind of ambiguous as to whether or not characters are talking about Ideia as a religion or as an entity. It's really not important. What is important is that this lady rattling off the tenants of Ideia makes it sound suspiciously like Satanism. Which, you know, is kinda neat, because usually the Evil Religion is suspiciously like Catholicism or just straight out worshiping some kind of demon.

(For those of you not familiar with it, Satanism is basically Obnoxious, Condescending Self-Centered Teenage Outcast: The Religion, and the "Do what I want, when I want" is like, the foundation for it.)


Even kids can drink! Maybe Ideia is supposed to be an entity?


More teachings of the Church of Ideia: There's no such thing as long between people. You must kill the person you love the most to clear your mind of such delusions.

With teachings like that, you would honestly expect a much bigger blood bath, wouldn't you? Particularly here, where like, all but three people have been converted.


The Maria statue was replaced with this. Let's call it Ideia.


The creepy guy that was praying for money and babes is now cowering in the back of the chapel because he's totally freaked out by the Ideians.


No one else around town has anything interesting to say. Most of the people just brush Swift off because she's not Ideian. The shops are still open, but the Item Shop now sells Ideia Perfume instead of the Maria-brand stuff he used to stock. Since the Maria ones lower the encounter rate, these obviously raise it.

You know, because you'd totes want to do that.

Sylva still refuses to leave, despite being a Priest of Maria in a city full of Ideians. Whatevs, LizaSamus gets a Steel Sword and Platemail while the party's here.

Anyway, Michenu is long gone, so Swift might as well return to Izaruro and give the bad news to the Mayor's Son. She glances at the open sea to the east and boards her crappy river boat with a dejected sigh.


Back in Izaruro...
The Mayor's Son has forgotten all about that Michenu thing and gives no fucks about the Vatican falling into the hands of Infidels. You see, he's facing a brand-new crisis: His dad's Star Sapphire was stolen. Allegedly, the gem has some connection with Ideia, but between you and me I think he's just pulling Swift's leg. Like all the other rulers we've met this far, he knows how to dangle the carrot of "information on Ideia" in front of the party to make them do his fetch quests.


He doesn't however, have any information about where the Star Sapphire might be. That particular tidbit of information is left in the hands of this fella, who says that the monster went north. The north floodgate opens up automatically after you talk to the Mayor's Son anyway, so once you go back to the world map you'll know where you're supposed to go even if you don't talk to everyone.

Unfortunately, Orion still isn't back, and Swift doesn't particularly want to go into this cave without being semi-magicproof. She decides to sail up and down the river between Litton and Izaruro waiting for him to return.

And when he does, he comes bearing the Aero Shot bow, which provides a marginal improvement over the Steel Bow Swift already has (23 Atk compared to 20). Swift decides to leave LizaSamus at the guild and put Orion in. LizaSamus is good, but Leon still hasn't caught up and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let one of Swift's pals fall behind.

Wendy who?


Nande gets an Orb Ring back in Litton. Swift is holding on to that Steel Bow because she's not sure if the next tier buyable bow will be available by the time she meets the Mal Thf.

Y'all would not believe how many Atlantian corpses are floating in the river at this point.


Let's go get that shiny rock! The north river doesn't provide anymore freedom than the east river. It leads to a semi-large lake with a cave on one side and another floodgate. Incidentally, the cave is technically in the same mountain range as the Abandoned Mine. With that knowledge, Swift, her comrades and their faithful steed enter the cave with some trepidation.


It uses this graphic set.


And there's a gimmick here: Invisible holes in the floor.


Here's a map some Japanese person made. The deep blue arrow is the entrance, the gray one is the staircase from the pit you fall into, and the red one is the path to the next floor. The blacked out spots are the pits and the gold squares are treasure chests.


I think Bone Ghosts and Deepbats are the only enemies in this dungeon. So basically, this battle over and over and over. Bone Ghosts are magical-dealing enemies, so it's a good thing Orion came with. Deepbats are even less interesting than they were before.


The two chests on the right side of the map are Elixirs, which, thank you. The one in the bottom left is another Platemail, which is handed over to Leon.


The next floor is only one screen big. There's a TriHerb here. Be still my beating heart.


The next floor is equally small, but it has the boss. You can tell that's the boss because it has a new sprite and it's blocking a treasure chest.


There's no dialogue or anything for this boss, touching it initiates an encounter with the Dk. Shaman, which I assume is a Donkey Kong Shaman. It hits hard, averaging around 25 HP per hit. To make matters worse, the party barely seem to be scratching it.

...but, you know, it's four against one, and I have two healers (not to mention two Elixirs), so it's not like it really had a chance in the first place. I can see this battle going wrong if the party had spent a long time wandering around in the dungeon and exhausted their healing reserves, but if a player can beat the Kidnappers, then they should know how to handle this.


With the Dk. Shaman defeated, Swift is free to (unceremoniously) claim the Star Sapphire from the chest it was guarding.

This piece of junk is gonna be wasting space in her inventory for a loooooooong time. She casts Turning to get back to the world map and sail back to Izaruro.


The Mayor's Son is happy that Swift retrieved the Star Sapphire, and says that there are more out there like it. I was going to make a remark about how common asterism is in gemstones, but wikipedia doesn't have any numbers on it, so I don't know if it's like, a super common thing or incredibly rare and I don't feel like digging any deeper. Let's assume it's a fairly common phenomenon so Swift can make a smart remark like "Yeah, there are others like it. Literally one out of every three gemstones has asterism."


And with that, Swift's goal has seemingly changed from "Destroy Infidels" to "Collect shiny stones!" The Mayor's Son offers to open the floodgates to the open sea to help her along, but he laments Swift's lack of a Compass. And, like, I totes agree that a Compass is a useful tool for navigation, I also lament the fact that this is a JRPG so of course there's only one Compass in the whole dang world. It's currently in Ryuita, which was the third remaining superpower mentioned in the backstory. Looks like Swift is gonna have to travel back to Rodetia to get permission to cross the border.