The Little Metal Boys Finest Hour: Lets Play... Mega Man 2!

Hello Friends and Well Wishers (as well as enemies and conspirators), I have returned from the lands abroad to bring you a new LP. "But Octoprime!" You cry, "You're still LPing Crystalis!" and to this I say.... "Well, yes, but the game is longer then I expected it to be when I booked this. Now hush."

Anyhoo, like every other sensible person in the world, I love the heck and cripes out of Mega Man 2. This is hardly a profound statement. It's like saying that oxygen is among my favorite things to breathe, or that water boils at a higher temperature then it freezes. "BUT!" I said one day, to nobody in particular, "how can I illustrate that zest for Mega Man 2 to people on the internet?"

The solution was simple: Write an LP of it. And here we are.
Now, of course, there's the problem that odds are that a great many other people ALSO like Mega Man 2, and I don't want to leave them in the lurch; so I had an idea! Gathering together a group of like-minded individuals and we shall present this; a GESTALT LP! Each prospective LPer shall take one of the remaining levels at thier leisure and hand the Password off to the next person in sequence. Will it work? I hope so!
But first: The Narrative!




In days long past, in the future; the Little Metal Boy saved the day form the Mean Doctor. The Mean Doctor got cross and built his OWN metal people to try to cause mischief again. The Little Metal Boy got up to save the day... AGAIN!



Scrolling up....



Scrolling up...



HERE we go! GAME IS PRESS-START BEGIN!



Okay, here we are; we've got eight whole Robot Masters who are up to no good. This is my LP, and that means I have first crack at it; and so I shall abandon all traditional logic and follow Nintendo Powers advice for such a thing;



Part 1: The Little Metal Boy and the Ever-Living Man



The Metal Boy dropped on to the vast steel girders that hover in the air, rocking tunes filling his head, and opaque clouds filling his sight. "Jeepers", he said "This place is windy". And he set off;

He couldn't go too far, though, because he soon came to the end of the hovering girder, with nothing but a terminal drop off to greet him. "Well, " said the Metal Boy, "I bet any real hero would just leap straight off the edge, and not worry about a thing." And he did.



Luckily a giant mechanical head popped up just underfoot, letting him land safely. But that grumpy old head didn't like having a mechical child romping around on him, so he sent tinier heads out of his ears and made drills pop out of his scalp, in order to toss Mega Man off. "Hey Mister, lay-off!" cried the little metal boy, "I ain't did nothin' yet!"



But the only thing the Giant Floating Head likes less then a mechanical child on his head, is one who doesn't use proper grammar. So the tiny-headed, ear-borne assault continued. Mega Man said, "The heck with this" and leapt off the head. And wouldn't you know it there was ANOTHER giant floating head waiting for him. "Jeeze'm crows!" cried Mega Man, who leapt off again.



After hopping across a great many more giant floating heads chock-full of smaller heads, the Mega Man hit another dead end; no more giant heads appeared out of nowhere; but, luckily, there was another way. Half of an ape, attached to a cloud floated by, holding millions of degrees worth of electricity in his hand. "Hey kid!" yelled the top-half of an ape "Catch!", and he then tossed the lightning bolt in a soft, under-arm arc.



Mega Man moved out of the way of the wayward bolt and jumped up, to thank the ape-cloud-man for the neat toy. Unfortunately, he forgot that his gun was set to fire whenever it heard a loud noise, so his (quite loud) cries of "Thanks Mister!" resulted in the floating gentleman being blown to pieces. "Oh no", thought the Mega Man "I bet his cloud will be lonely without anyone riding on it, I better hop on, and if I can, I'll apologize to the flying ape-mans family."



Luckily, the Flying Lightning Apes were a close family; and they were all nearby. But, sadly, all of the Mega Mans attempts to apologize also resulted in him yelling, and they all resulted in him blowing all the other apes apart. "Oh no", said the Mega Man sadly, "I mess up everything, don't I".



Holding back his little robot tears (which were made of the finest oil), the Mega Man got to another girder, and saw a friendly birdy come by. "Oh, I hope I don't blow up that birdy, like I did the monkeys" said the Mega Man. But the universe likes to play tricks on all kinds of little metal boys, and the friendly birds weren't friendly at all; they all flew into his head and torso, damaging him horribly. "I just wanted to be your friend!" cried the Mega Man



After fleeing for his life from the terrible baby birds, the Mega Man falls down a hole and winds up facing the strange land mines that the Mean Doctor built. Instead of exploding when somebody stepped on them, these weird devices fired bio-degradable boomerangs a small distance into the air; where they immediately plummeted and started wiggling on teh ground, straight up, until they eventually (and harmlessly) exploded. "What a curious contraption" thought the Mega Man "I wish I had working shoulders, so I could see what happens when I shoot them". But, sadly the Mega Man does not, and he must wait until he has a special device to hitting things that are too low to the ground for his gun.



Another small hop and the metal boy meets more giant heads firing more small heads. He doesn't want to pester them again, so he runs past them.



A bit more floating scaffolding and the Mega Man meets a new friend; the chubby fellow with an oscillating fan in his chest. Mega Man tries to say hello, but the Chubby Fellow is also hard of hearing, and his chest is blowing a mighty gale. "HELLO!" yelled the Mega Man, trying to be heard over the din, "WILL YOU BE MY FRIEND? THE FLOATING HEADS, MONKEYS, BIRDS AND WEIRD BOOMERANG CONTRAPTIONS WERE ALL IN A FOUL TEMPER", but the only reply was the whirr of the fans motor, moving with enough force to knock a lump of metal the size of a child off a platform. "It looks like the only way I'll get some peace and quiet is by blowing you up" thought the Mega Man, taking aim with his Trusty Sidearm.



But a short ways away, the Chubby Fellows best friend was waiting, with more adorable jet-powered birds and more holes to fall through.

The Mega Man wasn't having a very fun day at all today.

Luckily, there were no more tricks and traps waiting for the Mega Man on his way, and he soon jumped through the venetian blinds that kept the Robot Master of the Air away...



BEHOLD! yelled a fearful voice AIR MAN! WHO WILL NOT DIE!. "Oh No", said the Mega Man "Air Man will not die!". And another blue man with a oscilating fan in his chest appeared. But instead of being chubby and harmless, this one had angry eyes, and a gun where his hand should be.




Mr. Air Man threw down his arm and made many tornados appear; far too many to count, and entirely too many for it being so high in the sky. "This man is very dangerous" thought the Mega Man "his tornados are made of hard air! My bullets can't pass through them!". Mr. Air Man didn't say anything; he had a fan where his mouth should be.



The Metal Boy was so scared of the tornados that he couldn't move sensibly, he just moved forward, firing as many lasers as he could at that old grump, Air Man. And wouldn't you know it? It turned out that Mr. Air Man took more damage from The Mega Mans lasers then the Mega Man did from the tornados. In no time flat, Mr. Airman was "blown" to pieces and the Mega Man saved the day!
Hooray!



The Kind Doctor was so pleased with how the Mega Man acted that he gave him the power to shoot his OWN tornados, almost straight up! "That'll learn those mechanical nincompoops" laughed the Mega Man.



And the Kind Doctor had another present in store; he built a second item! It was kind of like a skateboard; except it could fly. "Wowsers!" beamed the Mega Man, "Thanks, sir!"

Okay, I'm done; Falselogic is up next.

This is already the best Let's Play ever.

Aw boo, I was hoping to get the hivemind to vote for you to kill Heat Man or Crash Man first and make you suffer. =(

Still, an alternating LP sounds like a very interesting experiment for a Mega Man game, given that password system. Hope this works out well. ^_^

But is it a nose or a mouth?

It's totally a nose.

You speak in riddles and nonsense.

Plainly a mouth. But now that I look carefully, it's plainly a nose, but that thought SICKENS me.

Negative million points.

It's a nose! The line under is a mouth!

Seriously, I don't see how Crash Man is a harder boss than Wood Man.

Also: *hits DemoWeasel* Even though he's right.

It's not doing that for me.

Your internet is being weird, Kishi. Tell it to stop being weird.

You weirdo.

It's not stretching it on my laptop, but then again not everyone has 1280x800 resolution. Those pics could probably use some more spacing. ^^;

Truth. Crash Man is easy to kill flawlessly if you know the trick, Wood Man is always brutal.

I do, and it's still stretching.

Throw some line breaks or something in there. It's common courtesy.

Fair enough; I don't see how Quick Man's a harder boss than Heat Man. I mean, both stages have some annoying obstacles (Heat Man's block stretch and Quick Man's insta-death lasers), but Quick Man's defenses are made of cardboard and you can just blast him in the back when he runs into a wall like an idiot.

He's not even that quick, either. I've seen faster foes in Blaster Master and Shadow of the Ninja.

Man how is this even a question. It's clearly a nose.

Throw some in? I'm not some republic serial villain, Kishi. Did you honestly think I would have posted my master-stroke if there was even the slightest chance of you affecting its formatting?

I used a line break just over five minutes ago.

...
...
What?

It's pretty trivially easy to shoot Heat Man before he shoots at you, and if you do, he doesn't shoot; he just zooms across the room again. Then you shoot him again before he shoots at you. The only time you should take any damage against Heat Man is from his opening volley, which you can't prevent.

He's considerably more difficult in Mega Man 3, where not only can you not preempt his shots, but they stick around longer and he's harder to jump over. Of course, you're also guaranteed to have his weakness on hand in MM3...

The floaty heads are the kind of thing I wish Inti Creates would pick up on for the new games, as much as I enjoyed them. Something about these giant creatures being a foreboding, creative part of the environment instead of merely sequestered into MM4-6-style miniboss rooms.

The only tough boss to kill with the mega buster is Quick Man. The rest are merely a matter of knowing their patterns, or in the case of Flash Man, just keep shooting the (relatively) slow moving target.

I absolutely love this game! I own two copies for my NES just in case one breaks down.

- Eddie

When I was ten I thought this was the best game ever.

When I was twenty-five or so(and tiring of cutscenes and the third dimension) I realized that ten-year-old me was right.

Quick Man is indeed the hardest RM to take on without the weakness. I remember my 8-year old self had to ask my dad to beat Quick Man for me, as I could get to him, using the Flash Stopper, but I couldn't beat him.

Dad did beat Quick Man, and for that I will always love him.

All logic tells me this is true, but my entire childhood, I always saw those noses as mouths. For some reason this entire ordeal, being confronted with cold reality, makes me want to vomit... just a little.

I showed the screenshot to my girlfriend and she said the line being the mouth is how she's always seen it too. WHAT THE FUCK

I don't think this is an argument that will be settled by time, logic, or even evidence.

But all I know is, if I focus on the line and the bottom section, I see a mouth there. If I focus on the eyes, the horns, or the cloud afro, the white circle becomes an octopus mouth and the line becomes a decoration.

Agreed.

I'm just finding myself hoping Brickroad gets a turn, and he does Quick Man... at 143% speed. It'd seem oddly appropriate.

This narration is showing us exactly how Worlds of Power should have been written.

THIS GAME SUCKS THE BAG.

Oh, pardon me. Wait...

THIS GAME ROCKS MY SOXX!

I always get those two expressions mixed up.

BLORP, BLORP! said the robot seahorse as it head-butted Mega Man.

WOOF,WOOF! said the robot dog as it breathed robot fire at Mega Man.

ZOOM, ZOOM! said Quick Man as he threw boomerangs at Mega Man.

Ouch, ouch! said Mega Man, as he grew to resent the repetitive storytelling patterns endemic to stories for younger readers.