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Old 02-13-2019, 08:30 AM
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Default Digital Down-Low for 02/14/2018: Love and Rockets

Baby, you should get a life sentence without the possibility of parole, because you stole my heart!

So what better way to kick off this very special valumtimes Digital Games Thread than with a shooter about survival in a post apocalyptic Montana? Nothing gets my LOVERS SOUL more aflame, that's for sure! And Ubisoft thinks so too, as this week leads off with Farcry: New Dawn, a spinoff/sequel to Farcry 5 that takes place after that games Bad Ending. Well... the worse of its two Bad Endings. This time it's Farcry set in Fallout-times full of mutant super animals, and everything is bright and colorful despite, y'know, the toxic fallout and all that.

Let's find out if Farcry 5 left a bad enough taste in peoples mouths that they'd be shy in revisiting it again.


Now, if a first person shooter set in a mutated, post-apocalyptic Montana doesn't do anything for you, how about a first person shooter set in a mutated post-apocalyptic Moscow? If that seems much more compelling to you, may I suggest Metro Exodus? I believe that the game garnered some amount of controversy recently, but if Octo Doesn't Do Research about games he's excited to play, what makes you think he'd research a game he doesn't give a fig about?


Speaking of "Games Octo doesn't give a fig about", well, there's a whole bunch this week. It's a relief to my wallet, let me tell you. But, more to the point, there's a whole heck of a lot of entries in a genre I don't give a fig about! So get on your reading goggles, because we've got a whole WHACK of visual novels! VALUMTIMES-THEMED ROMANTIC ONES! Like Code: Realize (set in that most timeliest of Valens, Christmas), Nekopara 2 (the sequel to a game where you receive an entire human woman in a fed-ex box and immediately force her to work in your bakery because you are a human monster), Cinders (a choose-your-own-advent-em-up retelling of Cinderella where you can be a murderous sexy jerk if you please), and Tokyo School Life (in which you date Japanese school girls). Them first two are on PS4, and all of them except Code: Realize are on Switch. But this way I don't have to find 4 ways to talk about how "video game" is a poor alternative format for "book".


Speaking of Books that are Video Games, Conarium is sort of one! But it at least makes use of the format by being a walky-based adventure-em-up based on a book. In this case, HP Lovecrafts The Mountains of Madness! I can't access my PS4 to look up more info right now, so all I have as a reference point is the PSBlog blurb about it.

I bet it's full of people frantically yelling nonsense and being way more scared of octopi than is strictly necessary. Possibly also some coded/explicit racism, but that might have more Howie Phils bag than that of anyone working on adapting his work.


And we've gotten a whole chunk of "Games that are books" out of the way in one fell swoop, so how about dealing with a bunch of Games That Are Smash Brothers in the same way! Well, there's only two, but one of them is Hyper Jam. Which I guess is more like Power Stone than Smash Brothers, but it's too late to change that statement I already wrote now! On the other hand, Jump Force appears to be much more Smash Brothers-y, except with anime instead of Nintendo. And also it looks pretty terrible. It does fulfill Ultimates single greatest failing by including Goku, however! So there's that!


Intruders appears to be Home Alone. Except that the child doesn't have a murder-house designed to lure in and kill burglars, and the criminals seem to be more like the Fun & Games guys than like the Wet Bandits.

So... not much like Home Alone at all, I guess.


Moving on to stuff on both Switch and PS4, we've got another game about ahhhromance, with The Liar Princess and the Blind Prince, a charming puzzlatformer about two lonely souls brought together by the magic of deception. Use Secret Werewolf Powers to navigate obstacles in order to get a blind princess through a MURDER FOREST unscathed. It's the Teenwolf/Mr. Magoo crossover I never knew I wanted!


And speaking of puzzlatformers about blossoming relationships where you have to maintain two characters simultaniously, we've also got Degrees of Separation, which is that but with temperature control. Like the Heat Miser/Snow Miser crossover that I'm sure already has countless saucy fanfics written.


And if you thumb your nose at romance, and puzzles there's The Kings Bird which is nice and platonic is is JUST PLATFORMER, BABY! It's about a bird lady! Or at least a lady who can run and jump like CRAZY and needs to obstacle-course her way through a whole buncha Grecian urns.


Moving on to the Switch and Switch alone, we have this months newest entries on NESflix; Kirbys Adventure and Super Mario Brothers 2, two games which I really need no further comment on. We've also got SP edidtions of Blaster Master (which takes you to the start of Area 8) and Metroid (which takes a fully equipped Samus into Tourian, as opposed to the OTHER Metroid SP, which lets you ENGAGE RIDLEY).


Iron Crypticle is the latest from Tikipod, who you may remember as being the developers of Aqua Kitty (which was basically Defender) and Rock Boshers (which was some kind of Chips Challenge/Robotron thing). This time it's Gauntlet/Smash TV! A cynical man may criticize them for reusing old ideas, but nobody can fault the wells they've chosen to run back to.


Speaking of "games made to look like old games" (and also Old Games), we've also got Love. And I really don't think it being released in time for Vamblumtimes is entirely a coincidence. This one here is a masocore platformer with little stickman graphics, like an early PC game, from the Lode Runner days.


Next is Touhou Sky Arena: Matsuri Climax, and, as far as I can ascertain, that means that this is a shmup that is also a fighting game and it stars anime children. I am now 100% out of data about this game and the series from whence it originates. I hope you enjoyed reading it.


At first, I thought that Strikey Sisters would have engendered a similar level of ennui, based entirely on the title and a glance at the cover-art they chose to advertise the game with. But then I looked at a screen shot.

And then I watched the trailer.

And then I said "Oh my God... it's Firestriker!"

And then I realized I had to buy this, if only to justify my love of that game.


Speaking of games that look like games that are over a decade old, we've also got Modern Combat: Blackout. Which should not be mistaken for Modern Warfare, but the good people at Gameloft would sure be obliged if you did anyway.


And we're wrapping things up this week with OlliOlli: Switch Stance, a compilation of both the original OlliOlli and OlliOlli 2. I still haven't played any of the Olliolli games, but I infer them to be a 2D, side-scrolling Tony Hawk game. Or perhaps Uniracers.


And that's everything I both know and care about this week! And quite a few things I pointedly do NOT care about, but assumed others would, so I spread the news of them anyway.
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Old 02-13-2019, 01:09 PM
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Taito joins the Switch Arcade Archives crew with Front Line this week. May Elevator Action Returns be in their thoughts
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Old 02-13-2019, 01:11 PM
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Man, out of Taitos entire catalog...
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Old 02-13-2019, 03:08 PM
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New Dawn is out ALREADY?! Dang, Ubisoft doesn't even wait for the last entry in their franchise to go cold before launching the next one. "Coming soon... Assassin's Creed 7! And 8!"
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Old 02-13-2019, 03:11 PM
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I think New Dawn is a Blood Dragon situation where it's not a full new game, so much as its expansion DLC that's a bit too big to sell that way.
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Old 02-13-2019, 04:01 PM
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Yeah New Dawn is to Far Cry 5 as Primal was to Far Cry 4 and Blood Dragon was to Far Cry 3.
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Old 02-13-2019, 07:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildcatJF View Post
Taito joins the Switch Arcade Archives crew with Front Line this week. May Elevator Action Returns be in their thoughts
Now that the first two Puzzle Bobbles are on consoles, it sounds like Taito's diving into the PS4's leftovers bin for Switch releases. Frontline hit PS4 over a year ago.

Hopefully this means they'll get Bubble Bobble on there before too long. It'd be a great fit for Switch.

Speaking of Taito arcade releases, the modern consoles seriously need some Space Invaders representation, any Space Invaders representation. Making the Xbox 360's more different version of Space Invaders Extreme backwards compatible with Xbox One is not enough.

My personal wishlist for Taito games (not already on a modern console) is as follows:
  • Some form of Space Invaders representing the classic 70s game
  • Space Invaders '95
  • New Zeland Story
  • Chack'n Pop
  • The Steam version of Space Invaders Extreme on consoles
  • Bubble Symphony
  • More Puzzle Bobbles plz
  • Modern console ports of Taito's WiiWare Plus games (like SIE they are technically on Xbox but Taito can do better)
  • An M2 or Digital Eclipse compilation of the Pocky & Rocky games (They're made by Natsume, but Sayo-chan (aka Pocky) is Taito's.
  • Cadash
  • Elevator Action Returns
  • Bonze Adventure
  • Growl
  • Dungeon Magic
  • Insector
  • Metal Black
  • Syvalion
  • Some other stuff I'm sure I've forgotten the name of...

Last edited by MetManMas; 02-13-2019 at 08:08 PM.
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Old 02-13-2019, 09:41 PM
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On the one hand I don't want to reward Ubi for that ending(s).

On the other hand it's more Far Cry.

Hmm...
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Old 02-14-2019, 12:38 PM
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Plainly I was too hasty in making this thread yesterday, because Nintendo shows as much wuv as this TIME OF THE VALEN commands!

Firstly, as Mr. Wildcat helpfully pointed out, this weeks arcade game is Taitos Front Line! A kind of proto-Ikari Warriors/Commando, mainly noted for its early attempt at dual stick shooting (controlling your aim with a rotary dial, instead of a second stick) and also for letting you play as the band DEVO.


Last night also had several very surprising surprise releases, like Final Fantasy IX! The "bless 'em, they tried" remastering that came out on many other platforms about a year or so ago. In continuing with FF9s reputation of being simultaneously the best and worst entry in the PS1 era of the series, the remaster has multiple much needed QoL improvements (fast forward! Reduced Random Battles!) and also QoL detriments (weirdly bad load times! A huge gulf between character and background visuals).

Nothing manages to capture Agony and Ecstasy than FF9, and that's what Vamblumtimes is all about.


And speaking of the agony and ecstasy, another surprise release from last night is Tetris 99. Which is Tetris Battle Royale. A concept so obvious-in-retrospect that it's astonishing that nobody thought of it until now! It's naught but the Versus Mode of Tetris, but against not one, not two, not 47, not 84 but NINETY NINE other Tetrad Slingers simultaniously and do your damnedest to come out on top of the heap. Or at least not in the bottom of the heap. I seem to average the middle of the heap. Which ain't bad!


And those were certainly surprises, but nothing, and I mean nothing surprised me quite as much as scrolling down the list to the middle of last weeks releases by accident and seeing frickin' Commander Keen: Keen Dreams pop up.

Could have knocked me over with a feather, you could!

Anyway, yes... Commander Keen. Grandson of BJ Blazkowicz, and Grandfather of Doomguy.

Platform jumping hero of DOS shareware.

He's back.

Some-friggin'-how

Look, I'm not upset by this. Just deeply, deeply confused.


And, heck, I've got this window writing a post anyway, might as well mention that Kemcos bi-weekly JRPG release also came out. This time it's Alvastia Chronicles. As with all Kemco RPGs, this one is by and large a completely rote JRPG. This one has over 100 recruitable characters, however. SO that's something. And the developers ran out of ideas long before that point so some characters are "a box" or whatever other placeholder sprites they had on hand.

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Old 02-14-2019, 01:16 PM
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Specifically Keen Dreams on Switch is very confusing to me because I understood it to be the one that is most in limbo with respect to its copyright restrictions.

And it's on Switch before being back on GOG or Steam
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Old 02-14-2019, 01:20 PM
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Right? Everything about this makes no sense!

Up is down! Left is banana! Down is French!
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Old 02-14-2019, 08:13 PM
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The Liar Princess and Blind Prince is charming as fuck. When wolf switches to princess form, her attack button becomes a "hold hands" button. And whenever they hold hands, both of them go from frowny to smiley. I'm only a little ways in, but the difficulty seems balanced really well - it's mildly tricky to get from A to B, but there are optional side areas with collectibles if you want more challenge.
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