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Old 05-31-2012, 11:32 PM
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Default Ghouls just want to have fun - Let's Read Castlevania II: Simon's Quest


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A novel based on the best-selling game by KONAMI

Book created by F.X. Nine
Written by Christopher Howell
A Seth Godin Production

This book is not authorized, sponsored, or endorsed by Nintendo of America Inc.

Copyright 1990 by Seth Godin Productions, Inc.
Published by Scholastic Inc.
Simon’s Quest is a registered trademark of Konami Inc.
Konami is a registered trademark of Konami Industry Co. Ltd.
WORLDS OF POWER is a trademark of Scholastic Inc.

Printed in the U.S.A.
First Scholastic printing, July 1990

Castlevania II: Simon's Quest is a better book than Mega Man 2 in that it wasn't writen for stupid babies, just stupid children. I hope you like terrible puns and little resemblance to the game. Luckily, the game hints are back, so if you even had trouble getting through CVII here's your salvation. Please enjoy this book about a vampire hunter and his boy.

Quote:
CHAPTER ONE
TIM


It looked as though Count Dracula was going to win the battle.

“I will drink your spirit like cherry pop!” said the count, flapping his cape and showing his fangs. “Yes, Simon Belmont! You will become one of my children of the night!”

Simon shivered with fear.

They both stood upon a castle tower. Beyond was darkness, except for a cold moon in the sky like a dead eye. Wind chuckled softly along the battlements. The air was full of the smell of the garlic-clove necklace Simon had around his neck.

“No, Count Dracula! You will not drink my spirit this day!” he said, snapping his thorn whip with a crack as loud as a gun-shot. “And by the way, it doesn’t taste like cherry pop at all, so it’s nothing you’d want anyway!”

“Let me be the judge of that!”

And the vampire leapt at him. He flapped his long arms and they became wings. His gigantic teeth gleamed as the mouth opened wide, seeking to bite!

“No you don’t, Count Dracula,” said Simon Belmont, his long blond hair streaming in the night wind. He held up the magical item he had worked so long and hard to obtain. “For I have the power of the Magic Crystal and that is the one—“”

“Timothy!”

Simon Belmont started.

“Timothy Bradley! Are you listening to me?”

Simon dropped the Magic Crystal. It smashed to the floor and burst into a thousand brilliant pieces.

Count Dracula laughed cruelly. “Ah! A vampire has no better ally than a mother!”

He lept on the boy, and then…

The magical world of Castlevania dissolved around Tim Bradley like twinkling gossamer. No longer was he Simon Belmont, vampire hunter. Once more he was in his boring bedroom. His mother stood in the doorway.

“Timothy! You’ve got school in less than ten minutes! How many times do I have to tell you, no Nintendo games in the morning! You get too wrapped up in them and then you’re late for your classes.”

Tim put down the joystick. “Ah, gee, Mom. I almost got Count Dracula again!”

“Didn’t you tell me that you already got the count?” Judy Bradley asked, bending her frown toward the TV set. She was a pretty woman, even with her dark brown hair in curlers. But she didn’t look so hot when she frowned. “More than once, as I recall.”

“Nineteen times!” said Tim proudly, reaching up and turning off the TV set. “This would have been my twentieth.”

“Well, just use your imagination to pretend the count got staked again and run along to school, chum.”

Tim shook his head as he got up and began digging through a pile of comic books for his prized pair of black leather Reebok shoes.
He found one of them and began to put it on.

“You just don’t understand, Mom. I’ll know I didn’t win. That’s what matters.”

He dropped down and began to feel around under his bed for the other shoe. His hand encountered miniature model monsters and warriors, marbles, a slingshot, then finally came across the soft leather top of a tennis shoe.

“Well, mothers never do understand, I suppose,” said Mrs. Bradley. “That’s part of our job. I do understand, though, that if this happens once more your father’s going to hear about this and whoops! There will go that allowance that keeps you nose-high in comic books!”

Tim slipped on the other shoe. Tied it. “Message received. Over and I’m outta here!”

He grabbed his books, and a half-eaten chocolate granola bar for breakfast, and ran past his mother and down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

Although he was short and he wasn’t exactly varsity sports material, Tim Bradley was quick. His friends wanted him to play pickup touch football all the time. He, however, was just as happy to exercise his finger and thumb in front of a video games. Like books, they were whole worlds he could get lost in, zooming with fighter planes or roving through adventures with deadly ninjas.

Tim’s favorite game, however, was Konami’s Castlevania.

He had never gotten through Bram Stoker’s famous novel Dracula. It was too darned scary. And Stephen King! Whew!

Tim liked fantasy plenty, but when it came to horror books, horror films, or horror comic books Tim’s knees just turned to water. This was why he liked Castlevania so much. He could deal with Dracula there. He felt like he had control.

Tim Bradley was a short fourteen-year-old who wore black horn-rimmed glasses just to be eccentric. He had dark hair and a narrow face, but it was an open and friendly face when he took off the spectacles.


Quote:
Tim Bradley certainly didn’t think he was good-looking. He just saw himself as being pretty average. Except at video games. At video games, he was a real champ.

As he ran to school, where he attended the eighth grade, he took a bite of his chocolate granola bar. This was one of his weaknesses. Not granola bars. Chocolate. If he could, he would have eaten a Hershey’s Big Block for breakfast. Mom compromised by buying him chocolate granolas with healthy stuff like raisins and nuts.

“Too much chocolate is bad for your complexion, Tim,” she’d say. “Besides, it puts on weight.”

Tim had a clear complexion, and he was slim, so it was hard to understand what his mother was talking about. But since he still lived at home and would until he grew up (Boy, he couldn’t wait to do that!) he had to do what his parents said, more or less. Anyway, he knew that chocolate wasn’t good for you. He just loved it. Always had, and probably always would. Especially the gooey, rich fudge that his grandmother made that he would wash down with big glasses of cold foamy milk and – Gosh! Just thinking about it made him gobble up the rest of the breakfast bar.

If he had looked off to the right, behind a large clump of juniper bushes, he would have seen a famous hero from another dimension materializing with a quiet pop. As it happened, the famous hero had come specifically to speak to none other than Timothy J. Bradley.

However, the hero was so overcome by culture shock that he could only stare at the wonders about he, allowing Tim Bradley to be on his way to homeroom.


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Game Hint

˙ǝʞɐ˥ ɐqn⅄ ʇɐ ɥʇɐd ʇǝɹɔǝs ɐ s’ǝɹǝɥ┴
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Old 06-01-2012, 01:22 AM
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Remember kids, only vampires like cherry pop! Ask mom for lemonade instead!
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Old 06-01-2012, 01:36 AM
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Count Dracula laughed cruelly. “Ah! A vampire has no better ally than a mother!”


The game hints also look to be about as good as those in the game itself!
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Old 06-01-2012, 02:00 AM
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Good Lord, this is even more awesome than the Mega Man one.
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Old 06-01-2012, 04:20 AM
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Tim Bradley is the hero we all strive to be.
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Old 06-01-2012, 04:27 AM
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This is off to a fantastic start.
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Old 06-01-2012, 05:35 AM
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Quote:
“Didn’t you tell me that you already got the count?” Judy Bradley asked, bending her frown toward the TV set. She was a pretty woman, even with her dark brown hair in curlers. But she didn’t look so hot when she frowned. “More than once, as I recall.”
Why is the young teen thinking about how hot his Mom is???
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Old 06-01-2012, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by SpoonyBardOL View Post
Why is the young teen thinking about how hot his Mom is???
It's an awkward age.
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Old 06-01-2012, 07:40 AM
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Quote:
Simon shivered with fear.
I didn't think a Belmont's posture allowed for shivering.
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Old 06-01-2012, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Loki View Post
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This book is not authorized, sponsored, or endorsed by Nintendo of America Inc.
Did they get permission from Konami, at least?
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Old 06-01-2012, 11:23 PM
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Quote:
CHAPTER TWO
SIMON

“Hi, Tim,” said the cutest girl in junior high to Tim Bradley. “Janet Morrison told me you could give me some good tips on where to get discount rates on video game cartridges. My brother’s birthday is coming up and I need to buy him a nice present.”

Blink of chocolate-brown eyes. A smile so brilliant it dazzled Tim’s brain from cerebrum to cerebellum.

Wow! He’d always liked Carol Jance since he’d started here at Howard Junior High last year. And though they shared homeroom, and Carol was nice enough to acknowledge his existence, unlike other more socially conscious teenage females who shunned him, she’d never actually sought him out for advice yet!

Tim Bradley looked around him at the rest of the homeroom class, at the hand of the clock close to the eight-thirty bell.

How come everyone wasn’t watching this momentous occasion? How come there weren’t trumpets and firecrackers and streamers flying through the air like NewYear’s Eve?

“Uhm… well… Blockbuster Discount has a real goo sale on them now, actually.”

Carol sure smelled nice, too. He realized he’d never been this close to her before, and it was not an unpleasant experience. Tim Bradley didn’t normally notice girls much. There were far more important things to be thinking about in his life. However, with her brunette good looks perking just inches from him, he certainly noticed Carol. And it was an experience with every bit the excitement of a nervous moment in the middle of the game Zelda.


Quote:
“Oh, good!” she said. But then a small cloud dimmed her smile. “Oh, dear. I haven’t the faintest idea where Blockbuster Discount is.” She smiled glowingly again. “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to take me there this afternoon, would you?”

“Uhm…er…sure. Sure, Carol. I’d be more than happy to take you there. It’s not far away from school. I mean, it’s so close that we could just walk!”

“Magnificent!” She grabbed his forearm and squeezed it with enthusiasm. “See you at the flagpole outside the main entrance at 3:15 P.M.! It’s a date!” She gave his arm another squeeze and she was off in a flurry of skirt, fluffy blouse, swirling hair, and that wonderful flowery perfume.

A date?

A date with Carol Jance, eighth-grade beauty?

It all sounded okay to Tim Bradley. Especially since it involved video games. That was something he could talk about. He’d have problems with other stuff.
Still, it wasn’t a date-date. Not like a movie at the mall or anything formal like that. It was just him and Carol, going to Blockbusters, looking for bargains. Right?

But the way his heart was beating, you would have thought she’d asked him to the junior prom.

The bell rang. Tim picked up his books, drifted out into the hallway through the flow of noisy teens elbowing and clomping toward first-period classes.
The odor of chalk dust and floor wax filled the halls.

Tim was fantasizing about kicking through a hot game of Double Dragon, Carol Jance by his side, when he ran smack into Burt Alvin by the boys’ room.
It was like running into a truck.

“Hey!” said the ninth-grader, frowning down on him from about twenty stories above. Tim peered up the heights from the level of Burt Alvin’s chest to his chiseled features above. “Hey! Bradley!”

“Huh?”

“What’s this about a date with my girl?”

“Date? Girl?”

“Yeah. You know. As in female. Pretty. Carol. Mine!” Each of the last four words was accompanied by a hard poke from a fore-finger.

Uh-oh! Tim had forgotten. Carol had a boyfriend. A big boyfriend. Maybe she was getting ready to dump him, though. No matter. Tim was still dead meat if Donkey Kong here thought that he was trespassing on his territory.

“Oh. That. Uh…gee, Burt. She just wants me to take her shopping for video games.”

“This video jockey wants to ride off in the sunset with my girl, huh? Well, pal, let me tell you…I’m perfectly capable of taking Carol to any store she wants to go to. But I tell you, I feel like putting you out of commission just for thinking about going out with my girl!”

What to do, what to do?

“Look, Burt. I was just headed into the boys’ room. Can we discuss this when I’m finished?”

Burt glared at him. “Yeah. I guess so. Don’t want you to have any accidents while I’m pulverizing you!”

“That’s very thoughtful of you, Burt. Which reminds me of a funny joke I heard the other day.” Tim Bradley loved jokes. He loved puns, too. And like he always said, the badder the better. “Why does the chicken cross the bathroom?”

“Move it, man. I’ll be waitin’ for you right here!”

Tim pushed through the swinging door. He went to a sink, ran cold water, and splashed his face. Boy, oh, boy! Was he in trouble! What was he going to do? The word around school was that the last kid who crossed Burt Alvin was wearing concrete braces at the bottom of Bulmer Pond.

Tim was pretty good when it came to wrestling Hulk Hogan or Macho Man on his Nintendo, but when it came to real life, he wasn’t the kind of kid to fight much. Gosh, he was really in kind of a jam, and it wasn’t the grape kind, either.

“Excuse me,” said a deep voice from behind him. “Are you Timothy Bradley?”

Tim jumped. Startled, he looked up into the mirror.

Standing behind him was a tall, blond-haired man who looked like a superhero from a comic book only with short hair and a vulnerable, perplexed look on his face. But boy, his costume sure wasn’t anything from this century! He wore what looked like hand-made sheep’s wool jacket and trousers with a sackcloth shirt cinched at the waist by a wide leather belt. His black boots were leather as well. He smelled distinctly of garlic.

“Yes. That’s me. What is this, Halloween already?”

“May I introduce myself.” Tim noted a distinct accent. “I am Simon Belmont. I have come here to your dimension to seek your help with a dreadfully important quest. The fate of Castlevania – to say nothing of my soul, my life, and the soul and life of the woman I love – are at stake!”

“Oh,” said Tim. “And I thought I had problems.”
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Old 06-02-2012, 02:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Loki View Post
Tim was fantasizing about kicking through a hot game of Double Dragon, Carol Jance by his side,
Between this and thinking about how hot his mother is...
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Old 06-02-2012, 04:11 AM
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I remember seeing that these other books had cards, and it ticked me off that my Mega Man 2 book didn't. =P

I think this is the first time I've read past the "cherry pop" bit, and I actually own this one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Büge View Post
Did they get permission from Konami, at least?
If I remember correctly (there was an article on 1UP a couple of years ago about these books), the reason for the tips was so that they could get by on the technicality of the book being a "strategy guide," thus circumventing the need.

Also? The name "Nine" is so they could be placed next to Nintendo books.

Finally, Simon's dialogue is so much better if you read it in the voice of Simon from Captain N.
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Old 06-02-2012, 06:30 AM
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“Hey!” said the ninth-grader, frowning down on him from about twenty stories above. Tim peered up the heights from the level of Burt Alvin’s chest to his chiseled features above. “Hey! Bradley!”
Quote:
Tim was still dead meat if Donkey Kong here thought that he was trespassing on his territory.
I read this literally at first by mistake, but I kind of want to read this version of Donkey Kong.
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Old 06-02-2012, 07:55 AM
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the last kid who crossed Burt Alvin was wearing concrete braces at the bottom of Bulmer Pond.
Now I can't stop thinking about a kid drowning in a lake with his teeth, and only his teeth, stuck in a block of concrete.
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Old 06-02-2012, 08:41 AM
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“No, Count Dracula! You will not drink my spirit this day!” he said, snapping his thorn whip with a crack as loud as a gun-shot. “And by the way, it doesn’t taste like cherry pop at all, so it’s nothing you’d want anyway!”
Conclusion: Simon has tasted his own soul. He was probably bored on his off-time while Dracula was being revived or something.
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Old 06-02-2012, 08:45 AM
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He’d always liked Carol Jance since he’d started here at Howard Junior High last year.
I can't help but wonder if this is a reference to Howard Phillips.
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Old 06-02-2012, 03:25 PM
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“Hi, Tim,” said the cutest girl in junior high to Tim Bradley. “Janet Morrison told me you could give me some good tips on where to get discount rates on video game cartridges
Oh, wow! A book from the '80s that actually features a girl who likes video games!

Quote:
"My brother’s birthday is coming up and I need to buy him a nice present.”
Sigh.
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Old 06-02-2012, 04:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Glass Knuckle View Post
Now I can't stop thinking about a kid drowning in a lake with his teeth, and only his teeth, stuck in a block of concrete.
Burts one messed-up kid
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
CHAPTER THREE
THE RETURN OF DRACULA – SORT OF

Right.

Here was Simon Belmont, the Hero of Castlevania, standing before him, square jaw jutting earnestly, broad chest heaving with purpose. Yes, this was Simon all right..

Tim even noticed now that gripped feverishly in Simon’s fist was a whip. Around his neck on a leather thong was a beautiful golden ring that shone and glittered like the heart of a sun.

“Righteous, dude,” said a long-haired guy with leather pants, just coming into the boys’ room. “Aren’t you Metallica or someithin’!”

“No,” said Simon, eyes flashing with dark earnestness. “I’m from Castlevania!”

“Great group, man! Got all your CD’s!”


Quote:
The guy cruised out of the boys’ room thrashing power cords on his heavy-metal air guitar.

Simon looked quizzically at Tim.

“If you don’t know, don’t ask,” said Tim. “Look – anyway, this is a joke, right? Every-one has ganged up on me ‘cause they know I’m an ace Castlevania player and I’m being persecuted for my hobby.”

“No! I swear, upon my sacred honor!” insisted Simon.

“Sure. Okay, suppose there really is a Castlevania, and you really are Simon Belmont. What’s your girlfriend’s name, huh? Answer me that?”

“Why, Linda Entwhistle, of course.”

“Hmm. You’ve done your research. Okay, tell me then, Mr. Simon Belmont. Why do you want me to help you?”

“Why? Because you are the best Castlevania player in this dimension. Because this Holy Ring bestowed upon myself by none other than the beauteous Linda Entwhistle guided me to you to sincerely seek your aid.”

“Against who?”

“Why, Dracula, of course.”

“You see! You can’t be Simon Belmont! You, I mean, I – defeat that crummy old vampire all the time!”

“There is no time for an explanation! You must come with me immediately. I entreat you, Timothy Bradley! Please!”

“I don’t know… I –“

Suddenly there was a loud pounding on the boys’ room door. “Hey, Bradley. Come on out of there and get what you deserve.”

“Say. If you’re Simon Belmont how’d you get here?”

“Why through an interdimensional doorway, of course, created by this magical ring.”

“Show me… get me out of here, and I’ll believe you.”

“Where would you like to go?”

“Home!”

“Come. Grab my whip, Timothy Bradley.”


Quote:
Well, it was worth a shot, thought Tim.

Anything to get away from that walking dynamite truck with biceps. At the very least, he’d give this a try and if it didn’t work, he could get muscle brain here to use his whip on Burt.

He reached out and grabbed the leather whip.

It felt as though he’d grabbed a live wire.

Yow!” he said. He felt his hair stand on end. Energy coursed full throttle through his body. A burst of light zapped through his eyes. Then everything became a pleasant calm after the silent bang.

“You really shouldn’t play around with shocks,” he told Simon. “You could electrocute a guy. There’s this guy outside I’d like you to – Huh?!”

The “huh” was because he’d just realized that he and Simon Belmont were no longer in the junior high school boys’ room.

They stood in his bedroom, back at home.

“This is where you live, is it not, Timothy Bradley?”

“Yeah! Wow! So it is.” He turned newly admiring eyes toward the hero. “You really are Simon Belmont!”

“You acknowledge my identity. Thank you. Does that mean that you are now willing to come back with me to my homeland to rescue it from the power of darkness, the disease called Dracula?”

“Dracula. Right. I thought the old popsicle sucker was dead!”

“Oh, indeed. Very dead. His body has been cut up and it has been placed in five different places.”

“Sounds pretty dead to me, Simon. What’s the problem then?”

“His curse. It spreads across my homeland. I should have burned the body and scattered the ashes to the four winds! His followers have separated his body parts and hidden them! I don’t know what to do! And Linda Entwhistle has been snatched away from me! She came to me in a vision and gave me this ring and –“

“Whoa! One thing at a time, puh-lease,” said Tim. “I’m a boy of my word, Simon. I’ll come with you, but I’ve got to pack a few important items first.”

Tim began jamming stuff into an empty laudry bag. Stuff he was going to need. Like chocolate bars. A Swiss army knife. Chocolate M&M’s. A sweater. Some more Hershey’s Chocolate Bars (semi-sweet, milk, Mr. Goodbar and gosh, don’t forget the one with almonds). His Boy Scout kit including compass and campfire starter. Some Reese’s Pieces. (Hey, if Simon Belmont really existed, maybe he could lure E.E. down from the skies, too!) Some clean underwear. And, last of all, his very best imported Godiva chocolates, for emergencies, celebrations, or just for the heck of it.

“What is all that?” inquired Simon Belmont.

“Chocolate. About my favorite thing in the world, except maybe for bad jokes, puns, and – oh yeah – video games.”

“Chocolate? We have no such thing in Castlevania!”

“It’s a good thing I’m bringing a supply then, Simon. It’s candy.”

“Oh, yes. Candy, very bad for your teeth, though.”

“You know, you’re a pretty serious guy, aren’t you!”

“I think, Timothy Bradley, you’d be pretty serious, too, if you had only forty-eight hours to prevent your body from being totally possessed by the evil spirit of Count Dracula himself!”

A voice from below interrupted them.

“Timothy! Is that you? I hear voices up there!”

Oops!” Tim gasped, really frightened now. “That’s my mom!”

“Are ‘moms’ a form of evil demon here on this plane?” said Simon Belmont, spinning about and grabbing his whip, ready for battle.

“Uh-huh. Worse. Can we just take off for Castlevania now before I really get into trouble!”

Footsteps sounded on the stairs.

“Timothy! When your father hears about this, it’s going to be no video games for a month! That should do the trick!”

The footsteps were on the landing now, coming closer, closer, like claps of doom.

Tim Bradley grabbed the whip.

“I think that dealing with Dracula is going to be a vacation.”

“I think not!” said Simon Belmont.

Again the shock, the feeling of being up-rooted and thrown into a pool of dazzle.

Shapes and smells and colors swirled in on him like angry ghosts. A chill bit through his shirt, making him glad that he had brought along a sweater in his sack. Then darkness clutched around him like a fist.

“Where are we?” Tim asked when they had seemed to come to a stop.

“Welcome,” said Simon Belmont, “to Castlevania!”
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Old 06-02-2012, 10:48 PM
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The game with Linda in it was the best in the series, with all the 1999 battle stuff thrown in.
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:22 PM
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Geez, mom, what do you have against Castlevania II: Timothy Takes a Grown Man Into His Room?

And is this book an ad for Hershey's, or what?

Did it at least come with a cut-out coupon for a Hershey Bar, like the Pizza Hut coupons in the Ninja Turtle NES instruction booklet?
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Old 06-02-2012, 11:23 PM
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...that thing about Simon's girlfriend isn't legit, is it? I mean, I can accept him having one here, but then to make it sound like part of the game canon (or instructions, or anything)...

Also, E.E.? Are there some copyrights that they dare not tread? Games are fine, candy is cool, but Hollywood-- no thank you?
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  #24  
Old 06-02-2012, 11:42 PM
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If they threw in Pepsi, it'd be a Mark Moore fanfic.
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  #25  
Old 06-03-2012, 04:23 AM
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Entwhistle?
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  #26  
Old 06-03-2012, 08:44 AM
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I thought Castlevania was in Europe. And I'm pretty sure they have chocolate in Europe.
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  #27  
Old 06-03-2012, 08:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nadia View Post
And is this book an ad for Hershey's, or what?
Just our luck, it'll somehow becomes a deus ex machina when they get to Dracula.
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  #28  
Old 06-03-2012, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Büge View Post
I thought Castlevania was in Europe. And I'm pretty sure they have chocolate in Europe.
Hey, Simon is a true-born Castlevanian native. I think he knows a thing or two about what they do or do not have in Europe!

Also, this book is doing nothing to help my confusion over whether Castlevania is the name of Draculas Castle, or a countryside, or what.
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  #29  
Old 06-03-2012, 09:39 AM
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Does 17th century Romania somehow have no concept of motherhood?
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  #30  
Old 06-03-2012, 09:43 AM
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Quote:
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Does 17th century Romania somehow have no concept of motherhood?
Simon just sort of assumes everything is an evil spirit.

He's usually right.
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amazing , castlevania ii , cool pix by loki , let's read , simon's quest , the best , the worst , they are all draculas , worlds of power

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