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  #61  
Old 03-11-2018, 03:08 PM
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You are getting to the point where vol. 1 ended for me ( just the first half of a Mr. Miracle 2 parter) but I thinks a damned shame DC doesn't do much with the Black Racer. He's like a magic Punisher on skis. Whenever guys like the Spectre or the Phantom Stranger pops up to show that a situation is of cosmic import, they should just use the Racer instead.
I feel like Black Racer is kind of like Silver Surfer but also the Grim Reaper, in that he's a very Jack Kirby embodiment of some vast cosmic powers who also rides around on a very goofy mode of transportation.

Falling into a wiki hole about how Black Racer has been used post-Kirby because I Don't Read DC Comics, apparently Jim Starlin had a mini-series in 2007-2008 where he just killed off a bunch of Fourth World characters because no one could figure out how to use them? Seems dumb.

(Presumably some of this was undone or rewritten during the period when DC was the posterboy for too many bad relaunches, before Marvel reclaimed that throne.)

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Anyway, since Orion is the headliner here, when we get to Earth, we focus back on him, despite being the least interesting character in this book, where he and his interchangeable human buddies
Maybe this hasn't happened yet, but I got the impression that it was funny how well defined these human supporting characters were, in comparison to the Forever People who I'm basically finally getting a handle on now that it's issue #10 out of 11. I have the memory of them doing that "every issue is someone's first issue thing" where they always start their scenes like, "As a tired old insurance salesman, I, Adam Lanza, think that . . ."

Granted: More clearly defined than the Forever People is a very low bar.
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  #62  
Old 03-11-2018, 03:16 PM
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WHat's to define? Big Bear is a young Brian Blessed, Serephen has a name I can never spell correctly and is a psychic cowboy, Beautiful Dreamer is beautiful and makes dreams, Vykin the Black has a thermos full of God Computer and Mark Moonracer fills out crowd scenes.
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  #63  
Old 03-11-2018, 03:24 PM
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I think Mark Moonracer is supposed to be """"the leader,""""" but in that old superhero sense where being the leader just means you're really generic.
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  #64  
Old 03-11-2018, 03:32 PM
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Falling into a wiki hole about how Black Racer has been used post-Kirby because I Don't Read DC Comics, apparently Jim Starlin had a mini-series in 2007-2008 where he just killed off a bunch of Fourth World characters because no one could figure out how to use them? Seems dumb.

(Presumably some of this was undone or rewritten during the period when DC was the posterboy for too many bad relaunches, before Marvel reclaimed that throne.)
This was actually done because someone (Morrison) did have a good idea of how to use them, but DC editorial fucked everything up. For Final Crisis (A Top 3 All-Time Event Comic, don't @ me) Morrison needed all of the New Gods to be dead. His idea was that the big Ragnarok-ian war between New Genesis and Apokolips ended, Darkseid won and everyone, including Darkseid, died. However, the bad Gods were reborn on Earth and were taking over human bodies. I don't know how "apocalyptic battle between space gods" turned into "nonsensical murder mystery," but it did.

Also Final Crisis has one of my favorite uses of Black Racer, as he spends the whole series chasing Barry Allen because Barry Allen came back to life.
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  #65  
Old 03-11-2018, 05:21 PM
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Additionally, he winds up saving the day because he accidentally ran straight into Darkseid.

Also, a quick glance at the next issue shows that the character find of the century is showing up.

Oh Goody
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  #66  
Old 03-12-2018, 04:27 PM
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Okay, back to Jimmy Olsen with The Guardian Fights Again! Which is a somewhat misleading title since Guardian fought someone in every issue he's appeared in so far. Maybe Jack just means it in the sense that "Yup, he's fighting. Again." But Guardian is far, FAR from the most important character in this story.

Anyway, its a brand new story arc now that the whole brouhaha with the Evil Factory DNAliens has been dealt with; Jimmy realizes he hasn't been to work in, like, a week straight so he should really get back there and make sure he's still employed! Also, to confront his boss about trying to kill him and a number of small children with an alien super-bomb. A plot point I genuinely forgot about. Can't imagine how many kids remembered that back in the 70s when these things were coming out monthly.

The Guardian also gets clearance to visit Metropolis with Jimmy and SUperman, since he's only newly cloned he's never been there (even though he has an instinctual knowledge of the area.) And the Newsboy Legion can't come because Gabby Jr. got himself a headcold. And since they're in a top secret genetic labratory full of impossibly mutated creatures, the medical staff really doesn't want him out of quarantine until they're good and damn sure he isn't about to start sprouting eyeballs out of his teeth or something.

Meanwhile, at the Daily Planet building, Morgan Edge returns to work, after gracefully leaving with the intent of killing his entire payroll with a nuclear explosion, only to be confronted with something far harder for him to deal with; his new employee Goody Rickles! The ingratiatingly helpful and aggravatingly friendly doppelganger of famous put-down comedian Don Rickles.



Additionally he is dressed like a superhero, in the vague hope that Morgan Edge will give him his own TV show.

God I love Goody.

Morgan Edge, being a villain, however, does not and just opts to have him murdered by gangsters rather than go through the effort of trying to find an excuse to fire him. Fortunately, he also wants to kill Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen with gangsters (for the slightly more justifiable reason that they're going to expose him for all the crimes he's committed in the last few days), so he can just opt for a bulk discount. SO he sends Goody on assignment to cover an alien spacecraft that landed in the middle of a park, and then leaves the office, telling his secretary to pass that assignment on to Clark and Jimmy when they show up.

At the spaceship landing site, Goody is dismayed that it's just a model of a spaceship full of buttons, and he expresses his disappointment to Clark (who Goody deems to be a bit too square for his taste. WHich is great) and he then accidentally presses a button, causing the ship, and Clark inside it, to vanish from off the face of the Earth (the ship was a Boomtube generator that leads to deep space). Then Intergang hitmen appear to capture Guardian, Jimmy and Goody.

Or rather, they fight Guardian and Jimmy. Goody just sits on the ground in a fugue state thinking he just vaporized a renowned reporter.



I'm sure Wolf Blitzers had days like that.

Anyway, since Superman is now so far from the Earth he has no idea what direction to head in, and there are, like, fifty Intergang goons (as well as Intergangs leader, Bruno 'Ugly' Mannheim) against one middling superhero, a cub-reporter and a traumatized copy-editor who wants to be nice to everybody, they're quickly captured.

Also, all the Intergang troops were wielding shillelaghs. Can't let that pass without comment.

And, at the Intergang Headquarters, we learn their terrible fate; Bruno forces them to eat a delicious turkey dinner, at gunpoint! A delicious turkey dinner that, as it turns out was actually made entirely out of not turkey but Poison! And not regular poison, but special Apokolips poison that will cause them to suddenly explode in flames at some point over the next 24 hours!

THEY WERE POINTING GUNS AT THEM AND DECIDED TO INSTEAD RELY ON A MAGICAL EXPLOSIVE POISON!

GOD I LOVE JIMMY OLSEN COMICS!
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  #67  
Old 03-12-2018, 05:22 PM
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You are getting to the point where vol. 1 ended for me ( just the first half of a Mr. Miracle 2 parter) but I thinks a damned shame DC doesn't do much with the Black Racer. He's like a magic Punisher on skis. Whenever guys like the Spectre or the Phantom Stranger pops up to show that a situation is of cosmic import, they should just use the Racer instead.
Cheese it, pal, the Spectre and the Phantom Stranger both own deeply
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  #68  
Old 03-12-2018, 05:26 PM
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Cheese it, pal, the Spectre and the Phantom Stranger both own deeply
Sure, but they are ALWAYS poppin' up. Give someone else a crack at that "Marvel doesn't really have a Uatu so someone else needs to show up to make us think this is a big deal" role. And don't say the Monitor.
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  #69  
Old 03-12-2018, 05:29 PM
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Sure, but they are ALWAYS poppin' up. Give someone else a crack at that "Marvel doesn't really have a Uatu so someone else needs to show up to make us think this is a big deal" role. And don't say the Monitor.
isn't Metron exactly Uatu, except he just does not give a damn?
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  #70  
Old 03-12-2018, 05:30 PM
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True. Still, my point is The Black Racer is underutilized. Utilize the guy more, DC Comics.
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And, at the Intergang Headquarters, we learn their terrible fate; Bruno forces them to eat a delicious turkey dinner, at gunpoint! A delicious turkey dinner that, as it turns out was actually made entirely out of not turkey but Poison! And not regular poison, but special Apokolips poison that will cause them to suddenly explode in flames at some point over the next 24 hours!

THEY WERE POINTING GUNS AT THEM AND DECIDED TO INSTEAD RELY ON A MAGICAL EXPLOSIVE POISON!
I really need to read this again.
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  #71  
Old 03-12-2018, 05:33 PM
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For this purpose I would also suggest Etrigan and The Master Baytor
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  #72  
Old 03-12-2018, 05:34 PM
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So far, Intergang has used an ICBM in order to fix a bet, sent a triply-blinded man out to drive a van containing a bomb that melts radios and radios only, and fed three people a delicious meal full of alien toxins that make them spontaneously combust.

I love Intergang so much.
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  #73  
Old 03-13-2018, 04:45 AM
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One thing Iíve noticed reading this series, and itís pretty surprising considering whoís writing it and the fact that itís largely set in Metropolis, is that Superheroes are seemingly unheard of, as opposed to being a simple fact of life. Not counting any of the actual New Gods, the only hero besides Superman to show up has been Guardian, and heís just a regular guy (albeit one grown in a lab by mad scientists). Earlier, Superman bemoaned that he alone knows what itís like to be separated from average people by his abilities, and is worried whenever he leaves Earth that it means that thereís no possible way to safeguard the world from Darkseid.

I understand Kirby wanted as little influence from the rest of the DCU in his books as possible (and you canít have Jimmy Olsen without adding in some Superman), but itís such a weird stylistic choice. Feels like, in later years, the Fourth World would have been an Elseworlds or Vertigo book.
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  #74  
Old 03-14-2018, 04:30 PM
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Back to Mister Miracle with The Paranoid Pill, which is another issue that's light in plot but pretty dang fun to read. And it opens with an outrageously Kirby into, with a Boomtube opening in the penthouse of an office building, and a group of robots walking out, one declaring;

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The chosen "ANIMATE" is awaiting "Entry" by the "Mind Force"!
And then it sits down and suddenly turns into Baron Bedlam the God of Paranoia! I haven't actually ever heard of this guy before, and yet I'm already familiar with him, as he's basically The Scarecrow. Or, to use a more Kirby-focused comparison, the Psycho Man, or Hatemonger. And, by picking up a primitice earth device called a "telephone" (this guy LOVES throwing air quotes around everything.) he calls up Scott Free at home to invite him to a death trap duel.

Knowing people's phone numbers is one of his super powers, incidentally. He pointedly states this fact.

At Scott Frees house (where, as usual, he's chained to a wall and is about to be killed by something.) he answers the phone and gracefully accepts Baron Bedlams murder appointment, while explaining Bedlams whole MO to Oberon.

And, rather than just explaining it, he opts to turn off his Mother Box for a few seconds, removing the protection it offered over the house, and the next few pages are just wall-to-wall nightmare images induced just by Baron Bedlams voice being audible in the house over the phone for a moment. Luckily, with the a Mother Box strapped to his arm, Scott is 100% immune to Bedlams mental attacks. So he happily goes over to his office building, confident he can overcome Bedlams challenge and thus force him to get off Earth before he can do any damage.

And Bedlams challenge is pretty simple; without flying out the window, all Scott has to do is exit the building from the top floor. The catch being that Baron Bedlam has released The Paranoia Pill in the buildings ventilation system; causing every single one of the thousands of people inside to completely freak the crap out and see Mister Miracle as a demon.

Scott can't bring himself to fight innocent (albeit bug nuts) people, but they don't have the same conch for him and, in the throes of a paranoid mob mentality, they all beat him up, lock him in a small box and then throw him off the roof. Which I'm not going to call the best cliffhanger ever because... Well... getting out of much more complicated traps than that is Scotts entire thing.
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  #75  
Old 03-14-2018, 05:15 PM
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I think the next issue brings in Barda. Mr. Miracle isn't really Mr. Miracle until Barda shows up.
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  #76  
Old 03-15-2018, 03:54 PM
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Ava Duvernay is going to release a New Gods movie.

Woo! Please be as Kirby as fuck and stay far away from anything Justice League.
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  #77  
Old 03-16-2018, 03:41 PM
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Woah... okay... so... Forever People is next. And Forever People is about a team of fun-loving Space Teens having adventures while trying to protect the Earth from enemies that are representations of the darker impulses of the previous generation. Basically exactly Captain Planet, but slightly less heavy-handed. So, fittingly, it is also the book that gets one of the darkest, most chilling comics I have ever read.

As you may recall from the last issue, the FP suffered their worst defeat ever, confronting Darkseid and being beaten soundly by him simply glaring at them, and they were then rounded up and sent to the special prison Desaad built; The Kingdom of the Damned. And, as it turns out, the Kingdom of the Damned is so, so much worse than it's name implies; ladies and gentlemen; welcome to Happyland.



The premise of Happyland is as simple as it is horrifying; it's a prison for people captured by Apokolips during Darkseids campaign on Earth. And it's also the most fun and whimsical theme-park you've ever seen. All the fun and games for the park goers are horrible tortures for the inmates, and thanks to Apokoliptic technology, all the patrons of the park don't even notice.

The inmates, however, see all their friends and neighbors laughing with ecstasy as they torture them.

Oh, and just for an extra level, the illusion machines purposely don't work on children attending the park; they see exactly what is happening and are told in no uncertain terms that they shouldn't be upset at what they're seeing, they should enjoy it.

Darkseid himself wanders around the park in his full regalia, and everyone just assumes he's a park worker in a spaceman costume, delighting as children cower before him;



It took thirty years and Darkseid proclaiming himself The New God for him to be even half as terrifying as he is in this book, making fun of a child.

Anyway, the rest of the issue is DeSaad running running through Happyland, making sure each of the Forever People are enjoying their respective tortures (Big Bear is in a shooting gallery with live ammo, Serefen is being run ragged deactivating traps poised to kill Vykin, Dreamer had her illusion machine put in reverse, so she sees park attendants as screaming, leering demons who are actually just random strangers catcalling her and.... people make fun of Moonracer). DeSaad is also pleased because New Gods are extremely hard to kill, so he can continue to torture them forever.

At his lab, DeSaad also studies Vykins Mother Box hoping to find a way to disable it, as Mother Boxes are the one greatest advantage New Genesis has over Apokolips. ANd he believes he's successfully found a means to murder them (they pointedly say "murder", not "destroy" or "break") by disintegrating it.

But, at the end of the issue, the Mother Box suddenly reappears in the dressing room for the professional wrestler; Sonny Sumo.
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  #78  
Old 03-17-2018, 11:18 AM
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I think the next issue brings in Barda. Mr. Miracle isn't really Mr. Miracle until Barda shows up.
And then it gets even better when The Female Furies starting making regular appearances.

I love that one of them is named Bernadeth!



I love that they get frequent X-Men in the Danger Room style powers introductions, even through their powers are Stomps Real Hard and Has a Whip.

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Woah... okay... so... Forever People is next. And Forever People is about a team of fun-loving Space Teens having adventures while trying to protect the Earth from enemies that are representations of the darker impulses of the previous generation. Basically exactly Captain Planet, but slightly less heavy-handed. So, fittingly, it is also the book that gets one of the darkest, most chilling comics I have ever read.
It's a good issue. It's the high point, and it justifies the whole series.
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  #79  
Old 03-18-2018, 11:51 AM
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Okay, I finished it all.

Kirby is definitely coming from a different place in it, but I think that the transitional backup story in the New Gods reprints and the Hunger Dogs graphic novel are both great.

The original Fourth World stories are the product of an older man inspired by the potential of global countercultural and revolution by young people in the late 60s and early 70s. It's easy to love. Hunger Dogs is Kirby a decade later, coming back to that material after seeing the failure of that potential and the at that time still seemingly endless cold war. The same characters appear, but the metaphors are repurposed. The characters themselves long for a lost time of high adventure, and even Darkseid is bored by his own escalating war technology. He's more powerful than ever but feels like something is missing. He clones new versions of old villains, but they're just the empty shades of what they once were. War isn't Orion and Kalibak punching each other, it's escalating weapons of mass destruction that eventually bring about an apocalyptic climax.

Maybe this wasn't the ending Kirby wanted, but it's a thoughtful approach to his old material that does a lot within the restraints of DC editorial. I can see why someone who loves the 70s Fourth World would dislike the mid-80s follow up, but I don't think it feels rote or like his heart wasn't in it, like I sometimes hear.
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  #80  
Old 03-18-2018, 01:31 PM
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Man, do I wish I could offer scans of this, because the first half of the next issue of New Gods; The O'Ryan Gang meets the Deep Six is so completely bananas that doctors should prescribe this comic to people suffering from a potassium deficiency.

This issue, as so many issues of New Gods do, has a largely unrelated cold-open dealing with Metron. In this case, he's showing a New Genesis schoolboy all about Earth History. Specifically the time that cavemen fought against orcs with dinosaur-steeds. You remember that from science classes, right? But the lesson is cut short when Metron is called back to New Genesis, and High Father straight-up tells him that he just can't deal with Metrons derisive, snarky, emotionless above-it-all bullcrap, because A God Has Died!

And, on Earth, the story begins in earnest as the Metropolis Police Department has just fished a dead God out of the harbor!

And... errr... Metropolis is in Kansas, right? Like, I know it's a stand-in for New York, but I always assumed it was within hitchhiking distance of Smallville? If so, what's it doing with a harbor? Isn't Kansas really far from any bodies of water large enough to warrant one of those?

Anyway, Orion (in his clever human disguise of Mr. O'Ryan) identifies the dead God as one of his oldest friends, Seagrin. Which he then eulogizes in the form of heroic verse extolling his great accomplishments as a warrior of New Genesis, and vows to avenge his death. Then he uses his Mother Box to grant him a viking burial, complete with the Black Racer appearing and returning his body and soul to the Source Wall itself.

All in front of the detectives who really just wanted him to ID the body. Orion is extremely bad at this whole secret identity thing.

Additionally, Darkseid is peering from around the corner, mostly to rejoice in the misery he has brought Orion and taunt him for feeling emotions. And honestly, he just looks so adorably sneaky while he's doing it. Less like the God of All Evil and Despotic Space-Devil he is, and more like he successfully blamed his little sister for eating all the cookies that were supposed to be for dessert.

He looks like Jeffy should be saying he's been causing mischief in The Family Circus.

Anyway, back at his apartment, Orion comes to the conclusion that Apokolips has, somehow, found the means to interfere with Motherboxes, as otherwise Seagrin could not possible have been killed so easily. Fortunately, while the Gods of Evil are off the table as targets until whatever is jamming the Mother Box is taken care of, Darkseids entirely human pawns at Intergang are not. And so, he comes up with the fairly convoluted plan of turning his entire company of human friends (who finally got names, and very, very uninteresting summaries) into a rival criminal organization (The O'Ryan Gang, cleverly enough) with the hope of being enough of a threat to Intergangs operation that the local lieutenants will invite Orion over and show off their Mother Box-jamming device.

Which is exactly what happens because Intergang is made up entirely of idiots.

Additionally, the aforesaid Intergang lieutenant is introduced by executing a stoolie by gunshot delivered from a gun fired by a fishing rod. That wasn't part of Orions plan, but it is suitably Intergangy.

Anyway, with the location of the jammer revealed, Orion bursts in and blows up half the building with the Astro Force (sidebar; what IS the Astro Force? Is it anything besides a big, explodey laser?) and is then free to seek out and confront Seagrins murderer- the evil god Slig, leader of the Deep Six. We're given a very brief intro to the Deep Six (they are mermen, and they can create monster-fishes, like Poison Ivy does plants. I think they represent water pollution, but that's more of a guess) and then Jack ran up against the page-limit on this issue, so we're given a cliffhanger that just consists of Orion looking startled at something.
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  #81  
Old 03-18-2018, 01:50 PM
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And, on Earth, the story begins in earnest as the Metropolis Police Department has just fished a dead God out of the harbor!

And... errr... Metropolis is in Kansas, right? Like, I know it's a stand-in for New York, but I always assumed it was within hitchhiking distance of Smallville? If so, what's it doing with a harbor? Isn't Kansas really far from any bodies of water large enough to warrant one of those?
It could be on the Missouri River. I don't know that it would still be a harbor, but that is a body of water that might have business being conducted on it. Also, isn't Metropolis sometimes Chicago as well?
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  #82  
Old 03-18-2018, 04:53 PM
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Metropolis is like, in Delaware.
It can't be in Kansas, it has a harbor.
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  #83  
Old 03-18-2018, 06:31 PM
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Oh, for anyone who bought the omnibus with the printing error, FYI DC announced a recall a while back. You have to return the front hardcover to your seller by April 1st, which is pretty soon already.

Precise details may vary based on how the place you bought it from is conducting the recall, so contact wherever you bought it from to be sure. I'm just passing along the information I have, it may be slightly different based on your circumstances.
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  #84  
Old 03-18-2018, 10:51 PM
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My favorite thing about Darkseid is that no evil is too small for him.
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  #85  
Old 03-19-2018, 03:35 PM
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Jimmy Olsen next with Will The Real Don Rickles Please PANIC?!?!, which, honestly, is up there with "Slam-Dance At the Cyber Castle" and "To Wake... THE MANGOG!" in terms of being the best title for a comic book I have ever seen.

As you may recall from the last Jimmy Olsen issue, CLark Kent (secretly Superman!) was lured into an Intergang assassination plot and shot to the far side of the universe, while Jimmy Olsen, The Guardian and the greatest comic character of all time, Goody Rickles were captured and subjected to the least sensible means of execution I've ever seen; being fed poisonous Pyrogranulate that will make them explode in flame at some point in the course of the next day.

And we pick up immediately after that, with Clark still on the opposite side of the universe, where his destination has become clear; the Boomtube ship he was trapped in was carrying him directly to Apokolips itself; with a host of Parademons moving in to intercept! These are the least-lucky Parademons to ever live, however, since even if he was alone, Clark Kent is kind of old hat at dealing with ravenous space monsters. And, as it so happens, he isn't alone, because Lightray just happened to be in the neighborhood, and he's full of beans when it comes to incinerating ravenous space monsters himself.

Clark briefly wonders how it is that Lightray can speak colloquial English so well, and is satisfied when Lightray just changes the subject because the explanation will be lost on him. I like it when this series acknowledges that New Gods isn't just a cool team name, these guys are capital-G GODS, so the usual rules do not apply to them.

Back on Earth, Jimmy, Guardian and Goody are all fairly distraught at their impending Gangster-based self immolation, and decide to do something about it; Guardian is going to track down Bruno Manheims RV Headquarters, and start punching the hell out of Intergang troops until an antidote to the Pyrogranulate is presented. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Goody are going to confront Morgan Edge, hoping that someone in his employ has the medical skill needed to defuse human beings.

This plan is spurious enough as is, even ignoring the fact that they know that Morgan tried to kill them once with a space-bomb and probably set them up to be captured by Intergang.

Morgan, meanwhile, has troubles of his own, as Don Rickles has shown up! For reasons that are never sufficiently quite well explained. I think that Morgan is trying to recruit Don Rickles to Darkseids cause and HOLY CRAP do I want to see that story!

Also, Morgans employees are way, way, WAY more excited to see Don Rickles in person than you would ever expect. It's like Hard Days Night if the Beatles were masters of insult-comedy. For the record, the Beatles were not the masters of insult-comedy, but they were much better at it than Jack Kirby was.

Morgan is alarmed to see a poisoned Jimmy and Goody barge into his office (both because they aren't dead yet and because they are about to explode right in front of him) and Don Rickles is alarmed to see his exact duplicate wearing a superhero costume run into the room, barrel him over and immediately catching fire.

Fortunately, just then, Guardian kicks in the window and provides the antidote for the Pyrogranulate, which he kicked out of Bruno Manheim, off panel. And then Morgan Edges office explodes as a Boom Tube opens in his opposite wall and Lightray tosses a only-very-slightly bewildered Clark Kent in the middle of the office before heading back to New Genesis.

It's a very stressful day for Morgan Edge, Space Villain and Media Mogul.
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  #86  
Old 03-20-2018, 08:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bongo View Post
My favorite thing about Darkseid is that no evil is too small for him.
Seriously - his favourite hobby seems to be breaking into the apartment of someone he wants to have a chat with and waiting for them while chilling out in the most comfortable chair in the place.


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  #87  
Old 03-21-2018, 03:33 PM
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Back to Mister Miracle with The Jaws of Death. Which introduces Big Barda, whom I was already predisposed to liking, but even if I wasn't, she still would have set a record for making a character my favorite, as she manages it within two panels.

As you may recall from the last issue, The Good Mister was in the middle of a challenge against Doctor (ne Baron) Bedlam, who has agreed to leave the Earth alone if Scott can walk out the front door of a building Bedlam has driven stark-raving bonkers. And he was immediately beaten up, locked in a box and thrown down an elevator shaft.

But before we get back to Scotts predicament, we open at his home, where Oberon is moping around, saddened at the fate of his friend until he was curled into a fetal position to such an extent that he fails to notice the 8-foot tall beefy woman in space armor who has suddenly appeared in his kitchen. Up until she whacks him in the shoulder with her Cosmic Rod and demands to know where Scott is/ Her name is Big Barda, she's a servant of Darkseid (though she plainly doesn't like him or his organization very much), she's one of Scotts friends and she's the best!

She also immediately runs off to save Scott once she learns that he went off to fight Bedlam alone; and she arrives at the office building and catches the box Scott was locked in, in order to save his life, but needn't have bothered. Mister Miracle is very extremely good at getting out of traps, you see. It's kind of his entire deal.

Scott fills in Barda on the specifics of the challenge Bedlam issued him, and points out that he has to do it alone; Barda can't help him. She's completely free to make her own way out of the building, beating the crazed residents senseless to her hearts content, mind. She just can't step in to help Scott.

So, correspondingly, the rest of the issue is split between Scott falling into traps and escaping them effortlessly (completely effortlessly. Entirely off camera, in fact), and Barda going down, floor by floor beating crowds of people unconscious equally effortlessly. Like Dredd, except with punches and impromptu clubs.

Eventually, they coincidentally reach the bottom floor at the same time and confront Bedlam directly; turns out he wasn't the creepy looking guy with the weird haircut shown previously; Bedlams true form is a screaming demonic face made of Kirby Krackle. Which is... apt. Bedlam sees he's about to lose the challenge and brings the full force of his nightmare vision powers to bear against Scott and Barda...

And then we cut back to Scotts house, where they wander back in without so much as their hair mussed. Scott recaps all his daring escapades to Oberon, explaining how he escaped so many traps (Fourth World tech, naturally. And the nightmare visions were exactly that so they couldn't stop him anyway) and Barda announces that she's moving in, slightly resentful that Scott didn't wait for her before fleeing Granny Goodness' orphanage back when they first met, but very excited that they may resume their relationship now that they're back together.

Awww <3
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  #88  
Old 03-25-2018, 03:03 AM
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Forever People is back with Sonny Sumo. Which kind of ends the streak of FP suddenly becoming the best of these books. Not that itís bad, so much as because Life vs. Antilife and Kingdom of the Damned are really tough acts to follow.

As per last issue, the Forever People are still imprisoned in Happyland, the nightmarish gulag run by Desaad; God of Torture, who feeds on the anguish of the prisoners heís overseeing. And Desaads efforts to kill Vykins Mother Box instead sent it to the waiting arms of Mr. Sonny Sumo.

Sonny, as it happens, is a professional wrestler who refuses to accept kayfabe. Heís fighting for real, and heís also absurdly strong. So much so that his agent canít actually book him a fight with any human opponents; Sonnyíd win too easily. He has to fight giant robots for paying spectators. Itís like if Andre the Giant fought Truckasaurus.

Sonny wins his fight against a giant robot, but suffers some pretty serious injuries as a result. Fortunately, as he approaches the Mother Box waiting for him in his dressing room, it miraculously heals all his wounds, reaches him how to speak to it telepathically, catches him up on the entire Foreever People storyline, and teleports him to Happyland directly so he can engineer a jailbreak.

Motherbox is OP.

Anyway, the rest of the issue is Sonny wandering from torture chamber to torture chamber, breaking them open and freeing the prisoners, and also fleeing from the Justifiers operating as park security. Eventually, he and the Forever People are cornered by dozens of armed guards, but they all immediately fall asleep when Sonny, bolstered by the power of Mother Box, tells them to.

As it turns out, and to his own great surprise, Sonny Sumo himself is the human with the Anti-Life Equation in his mind that Darkseids been hunting for.

Darkseid, seeing this on a closed circuit television, is delighted. Now he doesnít need to go through the tedious business of hunting for the Anti-Life Equation anymore; he can just focus all his attention on killing the Forever People, kidnaping Sonny, and then ripping his mind to pieces!

Oh, and thereís also a short side-story at the end about another young New God who finds a horse in a long-abandoned battlefield. Noteable only because when heís sifting through the wreckage of the ancient battle, he finds Thors helmet, which he casts aside as junk. Which is further proof that Fourth World is a direct sequel to The Mighty Thor.
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  #89  
Old 03-27-2018, 03:34 PM
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Back to The New Gods with Spawn which crams an awful lot of important plot into a book with very little exposition.

Picking up where the last issue of New Gods left off, Orion and his buddies (who feel compelled to introduce themselves in every issue and who I still can't pick out of a crowd, even when they're the only ones on the page) busted an Intergang cell looking for leads on The Deep Six, aquatic Evil Gods who killed one of Orions friends. Orion pursued their leader, Slig, and wound up startled and comatose.

But first, a cold-open with Metron, as per usual. This time The God of Comfortable Chairs decides to check out the very end of the universe; The Promethean Galaxy, a region of space inhabited by gargantuan, paralyzed entities; all of whom tried to go beyond the limits of the universe and usurp the power of The Source itself. And now stand endless vigil over it. Metron takes the hint about there being limits to what even Gods must know and decides to leave the Source Wall the hell alone.

Fun fact, one of the beings is wearing Galactus' helmet.

Meanwhile, way, WAY back on Earth, one of Orions Forgettable Buddies, as it turns out, is a detective for the Metropolis Police, and he has to explain his part in the recent Intergang bust to his superior; Dan 'Terrible' Turpin. Previously, my exposure to Terrible Turpin was the Superman cartoon (where he is famous only for dying) and Final Crisis (where he is immediately captured and horrifically subsumed by Darkseid), so with a history like that, I'm honestly kind of surprised that I wound up liking him so much so quickly.

Dan is a bitter, tired beat cop who was busting up racketeers and bootleggers back in the 40s, and while he can't keep up with Metropolis' modern problems of alien invaders, rampaging supervillains and 5-Dimensional Pranksters, he immediately recognizes them as the same kind of person he's always dealt with. When the secret war between New Genesis and Apokolips is explained to him, he shuts it down saying "The old days are back again. They just look weirder."

Oh, also a Boomtube opens up over Orions hideout/Apartment and Kalibak walks out, intent to avenge his embarrassingly one-sided beat down way back in issue #1.

And, nominally, we're here to read about Orion, so we're back to him waking up, without any of his gear, in Sligs underwater hideout, where Slig recaps his whole deal (he can force extreme mutations on sea creatures, and his hands produce powerful toxins) as he brags about having created a new monster to plague the Earth; a giant monster far beyond the oceans ability to support.

Unfortunately for Slig, he took away all of Orions tools and weapons. Which included his Mother Box. And, previously, it was shown that the Mother Box was the only thing that made Orion as handsome as he is; without it he kind of looks like a craggy and busted up. But, as it turns out it had another helpful function, and it also calmed him way the hell down.

Which means that, up until now all we've seen was Orion at a Lebowski-esque level of detached relaxation. And now... we see him less calm. Substantially less calm. Laughing with ecstasy as he slaughters his way through Sligs entire base, and ultimately beats Slig nearly to death with his bare hands, in fact.

Orion reclaims his Mother Box, handsomes himself back up and immediately resumes being the detached warrior-poet he is, and then realizes he still has a job to do because the gargantuan sea monster that Slig created has hatched and is now at large.



At extremely large.

Oh, and there's another back-up feature crammed into the back as well about another one of the New Gods. He's named Fastbak. Because he's very fast.
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  #90  
Old 03-27-2018, 04:01 PM
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Rascally Badger Rascally Badger is offline
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Hey, cartoon Turpin is also famous for looking like Jack Kirby.
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