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  #211  
Old 01-29-2019, 09:21 AM
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FUCK YEAH ANKYLO!

Evolution's original "Come at me bro."
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  #212  
Old 02-01-2019, 12:10 PM
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#6



Grimlock

(115 Points, He Draculas KING)

Traits:
Can breath fire
Has a sword that is also on fire
Munches Metal
Is King
Fails to be overly loquacious


As we approach the final leg of the Jürassic Parkland tour, we felt it was only appropriate to mix things up by providing you with a spectacle the likes of which you've likely not seen before! And then we kind of dropped the ball on thinking of how to go about doing that so, heck, here's another Tyrannosaurus. It's not even the first robot tyrannosaurus from the planet Cybertron in the tour! I suppose it's the first one to not talk like someones idea of a theater major, so that's something.

Grimlock is the leader of the Dinobot team in the Transformers franchise. Many of the series within Transformers have *a* character named Grimlock, but most of the votes were for this particular incarnation of the character. Nobody voted for the one who was a backhoe. In addition to being a giant mechanical t-rex who sets things on fire, Grimlock is characterized by a combination of his violent nature and refusal to take orders, as well as his simplistic speech which, depending on the writer, is attributed to his low intelligence, his mockery of people who talk too much, poor materials used in the creation of his body, severe traumatic injury or because he has a hard time learning new Languages.
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  #213  
Old 02-01-2019, 03:21 PM
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I had the big G at #2. Hard to think about cool dinos without thinking about him.
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  #214  
Old 02-01-2019, 07:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Kirin View Post
I had the big G at #2. Hard to think about cool dinos without thinking about him.
I also had G at #2 on my list. So I guess we both like him but not nearly as much as Dracula does.
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  #215  
Old 02-05-2019, 10:58 AM
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#5



Triceratops

(126 points, Adrenaline is just horridus)

Traits:
Name means "Three horned head"
Actually only two horns and a weird-shaped nose
Is mostly head, this guy
Thought to have been a bison, by a guy who doesn't know what bisons look like


Well, I just received some... fairly... direct communications from our head office about the financial status of the park. You would think that they would have waited until the tour was over before doing that, but as we've been on the trail for five months so far before ending it, I guess I can forgive them for being this patient. It... umm... seems we were a bit more loosey-goosey with our budget than I expected, so instead of being able to present anything particularly exotic for the last few exhibits, we're just playing it safe with the next few enclosures.

Here's a triceratops. It's one of the dinosaurs everyone knows. And... ummm... three horns on its head. I guess...

Oh man, what am I going to tell my wife.


The triceratops is one of the most immediately recognizable dinosaurs, being a cow-sized dinosaur with a distinctively horned head, one over each eye and some hardened keratin over its nose that looks like a third. It was also one of the last dinosaurs, meeting its end with the rest of the species following the KT meteor impact. Since their skeletons are unusually resistant to erosion, intact fossils are not as uncommon as those of other dinosaurs and are prized collectors items.

You may recognize the triceratops as the dinosaur whose poop Laura Dern got arm-deep in in Jurassic Park!

It's certainly the first thing I think of when I think of either triceratops' or Laura Dern!
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  #216  
Old 02-09-2019, 02:15 PM
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#4



Stegosaurus

(128 points, Patrick was tragically thagomized

Traits:
Well... it's got that spiky back thing going on
Widdle-bitty wimpy teeth
Tiny, stupid walnut brain
Big ol' Thagomizer though
Discovered during the BONE WARS


Well folks, we're playing it safe again near the end of the tour with another dinosaur that nobody owns the legal rights to and which everybody knows on sight; the good ol' dependable stegosaurus. Noted for its spiky back, its vicious-looking thagomizer and its tiny head full of useless brains and awful teeth, this dinosaur was first discovered during the B-

I'm sorry... the what?

Guys, we are FORTY SIX exhibits deep into a dinosaur theme park and this is the first time anything in the notes has mentioned anything called The Bone Wars!

Why were we waiting on this?

Why didn't we call this entire theme park BONE WAR ISLAND?!?!

THIS IS WHY WE'VE ALREADY GONE BANKRUPT!

I... mean.... aren't going to go bankrupt. Your money is extremely safe with us, investors!


The Stegosaurus is one of the most recognizable dinosaurs, thanks to its distinctive shape granted by its back full of spiked plates, relatively puny head and spiked tail, named after a joke in a Far Side comic. Despite its intimidating appearance, it was a docile herbivore, and the spikes were just there to frighten off predators. And also because they looked cool; stegosaurs were very trendy.

Also, they were discovered during the dinosaur fossil gold-rush of the late 19th century called The Bone Wars, and somehow I have existed on this planet called Earth for 33 years without knowing that there was ever a historical event called The Bone Wars and I don't know who to blame for that lapse in my education, but I plainly need to blame someone.
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  #217  
Old 02-09-2019, 02:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Also, they were discovered during the dinosaur fossil gold-rush of the late 19th century called The Bone Wars, and somehow I have existed on this planet called Earth for 33 years without knowing that there was ever a historical event called The Bone Wars and I don't know who to blame for that lapse in my education, but I plainly need to blame someone.
I have existed for longer but have also never heard of it before. The American and Canadian education systems are both tragic failures...

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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Why didn't we call this entire theme park BONE WAR ISLAND?!?!
Because I think BEAT has already claimed that name for his island retreat.
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  #218  
Old 02-09-2019, 05:57 PM
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I voted specifically for the Stegosaurus from Fantasia. Sure, they lost that fight, but they went down like a motherfucker.
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  #219  
Old 02-09-2019, 07:58 PM
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I did vote for stegosaurus. But, perhaps foolishly, I did not vote for Stegron.

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  #220  
Old 02-11-2019, 10:20 PM
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The Stegosaurus was my fav by a pretty wide margin when I was younger, and it’s the only dino I voted for in this contest. Also, I took this picture at 2:45 on Saturday, just a half hour before Octo posted the Stego.



Coincidence?!
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  #221  
Old 02-12-2019, 01:44 PM
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#3


T Rex

(142 Points, Octopus Prime basically voted for himself)

Traits:
Big on self-aggrandization
Likes dogs, Batman
Communes with various COSMIC entities
A bug lives on his nose
Has big muscles that all the babes want to smooch
Possesses at least two friends


As you can see, folks, by this point in the voting process between our shareholders and corporate founders had completely broken down, and a TENTH tyrannosaurus made our list. And the fifth one given a variant on "T-Rex" as a name. At least this guy set himself apart from the rest of the pack by being a celebrated novelist, poet laureate, and the hunkiest hunk, as opposed to being just a mean-green eatin' machine. Though he is that as well. Yes, T-Rex is all things to all people.

T-Rex is the central character in Ryan Norths webcomic series Dinosaur Comics, having three times as many appearances as the next most popular character. T-Rex is defined by his bright green appearance and his extreme self-confidence, and often acts as a stand-in for Ryan North himself. T-Rex not infrequently communicates with God (who is fairly laid back and fun-loving) and the Devil (who is a nerd). Additionally, Morris the Tiny Bug sometimes lives on his nose, but he doesn't speak up very often, as he is both very polite and shy.
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  #222  
Old 02-13-2019, 06:49 AM
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Oh, yeah, forgot he hadn't shown up yet.
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  #223  
Old 02-13-2019, 10:27 AM
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Yup. I had him at #7. Hard to think about Dinos without thinking of him. Even though Dinosaur Comics has never been on my daily reading list, I fell like I've read so many of them over the years it may as well be.
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  #224  
Old 02-17-2019, 12:56 PM
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#2



GODZILLA

(211 Points, Alex Scott, Daikaiju and Torzelbaum have shown, time and again, how nature points out the folly of man)

Traits:
400 Feet Tall
Completely unkillable
Organic Nuclear Reactor
Just hate, hate, HATES other monsters
Destructive nature of mankinds hubris incarnate
Friend to all children


Well folks, just got off the ol' horn with some of the actual administrators of the opark here and it seems that we kind of dunn goofed up pretty bad. Seems that making an entire parks worth of cloneasaurs out of popular fictional characters and not actually getting the legal rights to any of their likenesses was... not the best idea in terms of avoiding legal problems. To say nothing of all the legal problems that come from all the, you know, skeleton theft and accidental child incarceration and building massive enclosures for dinosaur-shaped cars and the like. Point in fact, I think that most of my presentations at each of these sites is being used as evidence in the impending court case against Jürassic Parkland, largely thanks to that man in the back of the bus who's had his tape recorder out the entire tour. Probably should have questioned that sooner.

So... here's Godzilla. He had a song written about him and a bunch of movies.


Godzilla is the titular character in the long running Toho film series, including 30+ individual movies and the focus of at least 3 separate cinematic universes. Originally a horrifying radioactive monster created to express the futility of an arms race and the looming terror of nuclear weaponry, Godzilla proved to be a big hit with the kids and the character was quickly rebranded into being a short-tempered big monster who fought other big monsters, largely being responsible for the creation of the kaiju film genre. Godzillas been given multiple origins over the years, ranging from a prehistoric monster woken up by atomic weapon testing, to being a lizard mutated horribly by exposure to radiation to being a giant made of ghosts seeking revenge for the attack on Pearl Harbor, to being a kind of natural counter-measure to the environmental threats posed by humans and other kaiju. Regardless of origin, Godzilla is all but completely impervious to harm and about 4 seconds away from an apocalyptic nuclear rage.

Still a big hit with kids, though.
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  #225  
Old 02-17-2019, 02:02 PM
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Quote:
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Still a big hit with kids, though.
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  #226  
Old 02-17-2019, 02:27 PM
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Uh, oh that? That's just my, er, walkman. Yeah. Just listening to MC Hammer, nothing to worry about...
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  #227  
Old 02-17-2019, 02:42 PM
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Interesting true story; that image of Godzilla is also the wallpaper for my iPad.

Err...the one I posted, not the one Zef posted.

Though I would use that one on a LinkedIn profile.
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  #228  
Old 02-17-2019, 02:53 PM
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This is surprising! I thought Godzilla was a shoe-in for number one.
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  #229  
Old 02-17-2019, 03:09 PM
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There are scant points separating #1 from #2, it's practically a tie
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  #230  
Old 02-17-2019, 03:17 PM
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I... see.

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  #231  
Old 02-18-2019, 01:27 PM
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Nice to know Godzilla's enclosure contains lots of room to play, among other things.

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  #232  
Old 02-19-2019, 05:13 PM
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THE

#1

MOST BEST DINOSAUR!

E V E R ! ! !



YOSHI


214 Points, Gerard cast him to the bottom of Soda Lake)

Traits:
Sticky, stretchy tongue
Weaponizes own offspring
A noble steed
Terrifyingly fast metabolisim
Capable of rapid evolution
Protective of babies
Come in an entire bag of skittles worth of colours


Hifolksgonnatalkrealfastbecausesomeguysarecomingto arrestmeformassivetaxfraudorsomething, thisisYoshifromSuperMa-

*mmph*


~~~



~~~

Sorry for the forceful entry folks, my name is Agent Stowregard Pluvis with Interpols special Bad Money Crimes division. Newly created for this case because, as it turns out, this place was just that bad with its money. Hate to interrupt your vacation, but I'm afraid we had to arrest your tour-guide, Velocipeter. Not only was he not hired by the good people at Jürassic Parkland, but, it turns out, there is no such thing as Jürassic Parkland. The reason you've seen so few actual cloned dinosaurs in this park is because there aren't any; they've just had unpaid interns hiding in the bushes making scary noises. Not counting things like the skeleton of Sue the Dinosaur, that is. That actually is the most famous dinosaur fossil in the world, stolen from Chicago. We're arresting the parks staff for that too.

There were no executive shareholders waging democratic war on one another determining who the 50 best dinosaurs were, and the FELIX super-computer was just an old Apple][ with the logo covered up in Sharpie.

We've wrangled up the parks staff, though we had to send most of their accountants to the madhouse for the sake of human decency.

We've sent Velocipeter himself to a specially created gulag under the arctic sea, as his white-collar embezzling were just that flagrant.

I'd like to thank all of you for your unwitting help in this sting operation.

...except for that guy in the back with the tape recorder. No idea who that is.

Sir... I have no idea why you've been doing that, but could you please stop? It's... it's weird behavior.


Yoshi is a long-time friend and confidant of the worlds most famous jumping man, Super Mario. First appearing as a native to the Yoshi Island region of Dinosaur Land in Super Mario World, he's appeared in nearly every consequent Mario game, even if only for a brief cameo. Yoshi is characterized by his extendable frog-like tongue and his fast metabolism; letting him convert almost every source of food into an egg-like spoor that he can hurl with murderous accuracy. Yoshis prey, understandably, hates this. Young Yoshis resemble large frogs (wearing boots) and can reach adulthood if they simply eat enough in a short enough period of time.

Marios true history with the Yoshi species dates back to his birth, when he was inadvertently dropped on Yoshis Island by the stork, and the Yoshis passed him around like a baton trying to get him back to his parents; taking him through an astonishingly circuitous (and hardly child-safe) route to do so.

Mario repays this childhood kindness by punching Yoshi in the back of the head to make him lick up things he doens't want to eat, and threw him to the bottom of a canyon to reach a bonus level.

You monster.
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  #233  
Old 02-19-2019, 05:21 PM
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And that's it! We're done!

Want to think FelixSH for his hard work in mathing out all the lists to actually figure out what the top 50 dinosaurs were. And, speaking of, if you wanted to see where every deenosewer ranked, just head on over to this here Google Drive link and see the nightmarish quagmire of number tabulating he had to force himself to endure for my sake!

Rest well, FelixSH, when you die you will go to Heaven, because you've already been to Hell!

Also want to thank everyone who voted! Without you voting, I wouldn't have had anything to write about!
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  #234  
Old 02-19-2019, 06:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
...except for that guy in the back with the tape recorder. No idea who that is.

Sir... I have no idea why you've been doing that, but could you please stop? It's... it's weird behavior.
I told you it's just Please Hammer Don't Hurt 'Em! No what are you doing? Evidence my ass, get away! No!

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  #235  
Old 02-19-2019, 06:28 PM
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While I was not able to conjure up a list of dinosaurs that I could consider the best, I still want to give a shout to Edwin Tyranoman, also known as The Ultimate Diplomat.
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  #236  
Old 02-19-2019, 07:05 PM
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This was very fun Octo! Thanks for running it! I'll share my list later.
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  #237  
Old Yesterday, 08:11 AM
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Of course how could I have forgotten about That Dinosaur, Yoshi? I guess I just forgot he hadn't shown up earlier than this.

Thanks for running this great list Octo! It was tons of fun and I loved the write-ups. I am disappointed to learn that dinosaurs aren't real though.

Here's a list!

1. Sauroniops pachytholus - Genus

Very glad this made the list. It's like a T-Rex but more obscure, and therefore, better.

2. Birdo - Mario Brothers series

Yoshi gets all the Mario love but Birdo was there first and also is more beautiful.

3. Wetnosaur - Earthbound

There's two very good dinosaurs in Earthbound but this is the one that looks like a dog.

4. Devil Dinosaur - Marvel comic books

Jack Kirby's greatest invention?

5. Kingseeker Frampt - Dark Souls

Primordial Serpent is just dinosaur spelled different. He eats poop and gives you money for it.

6. Terrasaur - Chrono Trigger

I love this guy's long nose he looks like a bug.



Ka-Blamo! (that was the sound of Lightning 1)

7. Stegosaurus - Genus

My favorite real-world dinosaur, and the official state dinosaur of Colorado, my favorite state I live in. That's double favorite!

8. Tank-Rex, the T-Rex shaped bio-tank - Metal Max 4



They did it. They put tank threads on a T-Rex. Now nothing can stop him.

9. Drago - Mother 3

What if T-Rexes were friendly dogs but also tragic and sad?

10. Gergoth - Castlevania Dawn of Sorrow

What if T-Rexes were laser spewing zombies?

11. Gertie - Gertie the Dinosaur (cartoon)

The first dinosaur and the first cartoon. That's double-firsts!

12. Nargacuga - Monster Hunter series

I wanted something from MonHun so I went with this guy who's more like a panther because I was hoping by picking a popular one it'd have a shot but I realized later that I should have gone with something more dinosaury. I asked Felix if I could change but he said NO!

13. Hacksaurus - Dragon Quest series

Toriyama just draws great dinosaurs okay?

14. Blood Dragons - Far Cry: Blood Dragon

I feel like I should have to explain why neon laser fire dinos arecool.

15. Spinosaurus - Genus

This guy's like dimetrodon but sleeker and meaner. My vote for the "Raptor" subcategory.

16. Classic Yoshi - Mario Brother series (I mean it. Classic Yoshi only. None of this baby voiced badly shaped weirdo.)

I don't know why Nintendo felt like Yoshi needed to be a baby. Kirby's already got that role locked down.

17. Yamatosaurus/Battleshipsaurus - Metal Max series



What if a brontosaurus crawled into a World War II-era battleship? And there you have it: the ultimate life form.

18. Bashasaurus - He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (toy)



Look at this ridiculous nonsense. It's perfect.

19. All the very good nice dinosaurs - Dinotopia

What if dinosaurs were real and our friends and everything was perfect forever?



Who wouldn't want to live in this world.

20. O-D-O - Live-A-Live

L-A-L's prehistory stage is set after the extinction of dinosaurs so all the enemies you fight are terror birds and crocodiles and stuff. It's very cool. The boss of the section is the Last. Remaining. T-Rex. And also the undying personification of hate. Then you kill it. It's very cool.

21. Archaeopteryx - Genus

Some people don't believe this guy existed, but he did, and that's why we have birds.

22. Armored dinosaurs - World of Warcraft: Battle for Azaroth

The new Warcraft expansion has dino mounts, but they're not just lizards with saddles. No! They're magical central-american armor dinosaurs with saddles!



Just unbelievably cool. I love the designs of these guys so much.

23. T-Rex - Final Fantasy 8/Final Fantasy 12

T-Rex is the most basic of dinos (and that's why I only have like 5 or 6 versions of it on my list), but I love the way these two games use it as a big fucking scary enemy you encounter right at the start of the game and gives you something to look forward to taking down or you can just turn it into a playing card.

24. Bowser - Mario Brothers series

Bowser is a dinosaur right? A cat dinosaur?

25. Dinosaur Changables - McDonald Happy Meal (toy)

I'm sorry but why didn't these guys make the list again?

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  #238  
Old Yesterday, 09:06 AM
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Loki - If you love WoW Central American dinosaurs you should check out GW's old Warhammer Lizardman armies.

Seeing as that's where Blizzard got the idea. And everything else in Warcraft.
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  #239  
Old Yesterday, 09:07 AM
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Dinos that didn't make it are marked in bold.

1. Dinobot (Beasties)
2. Godzilla
3. Megatron (Beasties)
4. Dr. Dinosaur (Atomic Robo)
5. Rikiya Gao (Eyeshield 21)

Of the Hakushū Dinosaurs, so it counts.
6. Mechagodzilla
7. Gertie the Dinosaur
8. T-Rex (Dinosaur Comics)
9. Utahraptor (Dinosaur Comics)
10. Devil Dinosaur
11. Marko Reiji (Eyeshield 21)

Again, of the Hakushū Dinosaurs.
12. Rex (Toy Story)
13. Grimlock
14. Tyrannosaurus Rex
15. Brontosaurus
16. Triceratops
17. Stegosaurus
18. Yoshi
19. Diego Brando (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure)

Noted were-dino and name-on-hat-that-is-constantly-about-to-fall-off fan.
20. Poodonkis (Homestar Runner)

Strong Mad's stuffed dromiceiomimus
21. Cretaceous Sam (Marvel Comics)

22. Old Lace (Marvel)
Loses points for not being a cowboy.
23. The T-Rex in the Batcave
24. Sauron (Marvel Comics)
Vampire dino
25. Earl Sinclair (Dinosaurs)

Things that would have made my list had I been aware of them/not forgotten about them.

Birdo - BIRDO?! HOW DID I FORGET BIRDO!?! WOULD HAVE ABSOLUTELY BEEN IN MY TOP 5! Maybe even number one! Goddammit!

Cinesaurus Rex


Phillip Tandy Miller
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  #240  
Old Yesterday, 09:10 AM
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This is...





very good.
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