The Return of Talking Time

Go Back   The Return of Talking Time > Talking about other things > The Pit of Civility

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-24-2009, 07:23 PM
cortbassist89's Avatar
cortbassist89 cortbassist89 is offline
Rawrther.
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethany, Oklahoma
Posts: 9,269
Default Animals are Terrifying and Want You Dead

Why do I read such horrifying internet articles?

There's an amoeba that will suck on your delicious brain until you die.

Life is terrifying!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-24-2009, 07:31 PM
Sarcasmorator's Avatar
Sarcasmorator Sarcasmorator is offline
Space dad
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 15,650
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by cortbassist89 View Post
There's an amoeba that will suck on your delicious brain until you die.
Oh, that is soooooo the first season of X-Files. Kids these days.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-24-2009, 07:44 PM
nunix nunix is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 8,600
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by cortbassist89 View Post
There's an amoeba that will suck on your delicious brain until you die.
Artist rendition:

Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:04 PM
Wolfgang's Avatar
Wolfgang Wolfgang is offline
borgn
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fooboomagoo
Posts: 28,105
Default

Aw, c'mon, animals are great! They like hugs. Except for insects, which are all miniature facets of The Great Beast, Satan, and should be eradicated on sight. At least, that's what I do to 'em.

Don't cotton to bugs in my abode. No sir.

Quote:
Irukandji syndrome
I amend my first statement; most animals want hugs, every animal in Australia wants to dissolve you from the inside out, including the sheep. What the hell, Australia? I kind of don't get how humans can actually live there.

Last edited by Wolfgang; 03-24-2009 at 08:17 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:11 PM
philliam's Avatar
philliam philliam is offline
zombie
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,114
Default

Natures fucking rules. Don't fuck with nature.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:18 PM
BEAT's Avatar
BEAT BEAT is offline
💀S☠K💀E☠L💀E☠T💀O☠N💀
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SKELETON HELL.
Posts: 22,223
Default

I once hit a rabbit with a car. I didn't mean to.

Nature has yet to retaliate. It's probably planning something appropriately terrible.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:23 PM
philliam's Avatar
philliam philliam is offline
zombie
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,114
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beat View Post
I once hit a rabbit with a car. I didn't mean to.

Nature has yet to retaliate. It's probably planning something appropriately terrible.
A thousand rabbits will slam into your dick.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-25-2009, 05:37 AM
KCar's Avatar
KCar KCar is offline
Goodbye!
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Vancougar, BC
Posts: 5,526
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Beat View Post
I once hit a rabbit with a car. I didn't mean to.

Nature has yet to retaliate. It's probably planning something appropriately terrible.
I once hit a bear with a truck. So far the score is KCar: 1 - Bears: 0

The problem is that in the event of a tie, I lose.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-24-2009, 10:24 PM
Stephen's Avatar
Stephen Stephen is offline
Just Talking Meat
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Uranus
Posts: 2,313
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn View Post
Aw, c'mon, animals are great! They like hugs.
Yes, they like to hug you with their terrifying mouths of death.

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-24-2009, 10:26 PM
SilentSnake's Avatar
SilentSnake SilentSnake is offline
Fun Club Agent
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 9,017
Default

zodar horrifying walking stick post
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 03-26-2009, 11:37 AM
Mazian's Avatar
Mazian Mazian is offline
Soybean Powder Expert
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,801
Default

Swans are total bastards.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shawn View Post
every animal in Australia wants to dissolve you from the inside out, including the sheep.
There's a great section in Bill Bryson's book on Australia (In a Sunburned Country) that goes into this at some length. As I understand it, Australia is already a postapocalyptic land of terror: the coasts are filled with more horrifically deadly creatures than anywhere else on the planet, and the deep outback is a blasted wasteland that even those monstrosities cannot survive in.

I'll just go get it from my bookshelf... hey, what's that skritching sound?

Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-26-2009, 12:17 PM
Brer's Avatar
Brer Brer is offline
Cranky Geezer In Training
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Cape Girardeau, MO
Posts: 4,202
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazian View Post
Swans are total bastards.
Yep. I was impressed when I discovered that an adult swan's wingbeat has enough force to break a grown man's arm.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mazian
I'll just go get it from my bookshelf... hey, what's that skritching sound?
I loved that book, and now I'm wondering what that thing is. I'm assuming it's aquatic, but I have to admit that I'm not sure how to start classifying it past that. It's been too damn long since I took a bio course that wasn't cellular or sub-cellular :P
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-24-2009, 08:04 PM
ravinoff's Avatar
ravinoff ravinoff is offline
out of how many points?
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: a bit north of atlanta
Posts: 1,250
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by cortbassist89 View Post
I was disappointed in that article, it didn't bring up either the box jellyfish (Chironex fleckeri) or the less fatal but perhaps even more terrifying Irukandji jellyfish (Carukia barnesi) which is capable of inflicting "one of the most painful experiences a human can endure".

Quote:
Originally Posted by wikipedia
One unusual symptom associated with Irukandji syndrome is a feeling of "impending doom". Patients have been reported as being so certain that they are going to die that they beg their doctors to kill them to get it over with.
Quote:
It's like when you're in labor, having a baby, and you've reached the peak of a contraction, that absolute peak, and you feel like you just cant do it anymore, that's the minimum that (irukandji) pain is at. And it just builds from there.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:57 AM
openedsource's Avatar
openedsource openedsource is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brooklyn, NYC
Posts: 1,532
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ravinoff View Post
...the less fatal but perhaps even more terrifying Irukandji jellyfish (Carukia barnesi) which is capable of inflicting "one of the most painful experiences a human can endure".
Quote:
In order to prove that the jellyfish was the cause of the syndrome, he captured one and deliberately stung himself, his son, and a local lifeguard, and observed the symptoms.
Clearly man is the real monster here.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-26-2009, 05:04 AM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,056
Default

I'm hoping he asked for permission first.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-26-2009, 11:21 AM
The-Bavis's Avatar
The-Bavis The-Bavis is offline
clean cut
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,396
Default

That amoeba was supposed to have killed a kid around here who went swimming in the lake. This is what they told me in middle school and everything people told me in middle school has always been 100% factual.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 03-26-2009, 11:32 AM
Queen Possum's Avatar
Queen Possum Queen Possum is offline
Very punny.
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Five Charlottes, GA
Posts: 4,290
Default

Quote:
Swan (Anatidae Cygnus, dozens of subspecies)
A swan chased my sister when she was very small and bit her and probably would have done more horrible things to her if my dad hadn't grabbed her by the collar and ran like hell.

I, of course, found this hilarious at age 7. I was a malicious bastard.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 02-09-2011, 02:50 PM
nunix nunix is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 8,600
Default



Venomous New Pseudoscorpion Found in Colorado Cave

Alright, so it's barely a centimetre long and its poison probably doesn't do anything to humans, but still.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-09-2011, 10:45 PM
Paul le Fou's Avatar
Paul le Fou Paul le Fou is offline
We just don't know.
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Seattle
Posts: 18,809
Default

THOSE FUCKING CLAWS
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-09-2011, 11:03 PM
mr_bungle700 mr_bungle700 is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 8,756
Default

I do like the word "pseudoscorpion" though.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 02-10-2011, 07:56 AM
Zef's Avatar
Zef Zef is offline
Find Your Reason
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Vortex World
Posts: 28,356
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul le Fou View Post
THOSE FUCKING CLAWS
Yes, I'm still trying to work out how it keeps its balance. Either its abdomen must be as heavy as the claws, or its legs must stand at an angle to keep it from tipping over.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 02-16-2011, 08:27 PM
Lady's Avatar
Lady Lady is offline
actually an eevee
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 11,705
Default

Also beautiful

Just kidding, animals really are terrible.

Last edited by Lady; 02-17-2011 at 09:47 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 07-17-2011, 08:52 PM
Mazian's Avatar
Mazian Mazian is offline
Soybean Powder Expert
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 3,801
Default

All sorts of interesting things live near deep-sea hydrothermal vents, out of which constantly spew superheated, heavy-metal-saturated, deeply acidic water.



Like this friendly character.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 07-05-2013, 07:26 PM
Falselogic's Avatar
Falselogic Falselogic is offline
Threadcromantosaurus Rex
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: California
Posts: 30,585
Default Re: Animals are Terrifying and Want You Dead

I didn't think shark eyes had irises and pupils...
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 07-05-2013, 07:38 PM
Googleshng's Avatar
Googleshng Googleshng is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 15,716
Default

No taxidermy exhibit has the actual eyes of the animal in it, because eyes kinda tend not to last too long after death. Bad choice for fakes here, but honestly, is is, in general, the work of a pretty lousy taxidermist.

I mean, that's not even where the eyes are supposed to go!

Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 07-05-2013, 07:43 PM
Wolfgang's Avatar
Wolfgang Wolfgang is offline
borgn
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fooboomagoo
Posts: 28,105
Default

Googleshing: The Most Fun At Parties
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 07-06-2013, 01:15 AM
Lucas's Avatar
Lucas Lucas is offline
Xmas Sandwich Anarchy
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: I don't even know anymore
Posts: 8,916
Default

That sort of thing does tend to come up at get-togethers at my house.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 07-06-2013, 01:29 AM
Googleshng's Avatar
Googleshng Googleshng is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 15,716
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfgang View Post
Googleshing: The Most Fun At Parties
Are you seriously not amused that someone jammed a fake eye up a dead shark's nose?
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 07-06-2013, 05:56 AM
Daikaiju's Avatar
Daikaiju Daikaiju is online now
King Of Space-Time
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 16,532
Default

Are you not entertained?
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 07-06-2013, 10:05 AM
Wolfgang's Avatar
Wolfgang Wolfgang is offline
borgn
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fooboomagoo
Posts: 28,105
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Googleshng View Post
Are you seriously not amused that someone jammed a fake eye up a dead shark's nose?
Ok, that's kind of funny.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
bird-on-bird violence , chitinous bastards , eel feels , facehuggers , le*pards , nature , nightmare fuel , ominous orchestral swell , paul is dead , save the last bullet , somethin gross , too many legs , what are birds?

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Your posts ©you, 2007