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  #871  
Old 08-06-2018, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Loki View Post
Because a beetle rolled a nat 20?
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  #872  
Old 08-06-2018, 11:34 AM
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The beetle is a metaphor for me rolling a d25
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  #873  
Old 08-06-2018, 03:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
It's generic high-fantasy art, but I kinda totally dig it. I love how you can tell that the artist was using the Japan box as a reference, and is drawing from their own reference pools to give their own version of warrior dude, rapier guy and healer lass. Its a cool example of how shit can change in translation that has nothing to do with language.
This guy must've been looking at other references like the manuals or something too, because Hero dude is wearing more recognizable Erdrick/Loto-style armor than he is in the original JP cover art where he's got more of a smock thing going on...

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Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
Hey where are my three amigos this is just some faded out collage bullshit.
It's weird that the faded-out collage has *both* the Dragonball and DBZ era versions of Hero II lurking in it.
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  #874  
Old 08-06-2018, 03:13 PM
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Dragon Warrior II had its box done by Kensuke Suzuki, who recently passed away. He also did a lot of Shining Force art (Gaiden, CD and III, respectively)...as well as several adult games. I'm giving a link to a collection of his art but it is a little NSFW.
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  #875  
Old 08-06-2018, 06:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dracula View Post
I left out links to the art since I'm sure a certain skeleton will be around to reveal them at some point.
Hmmph... Typical Dracula move - you just sit there on the throne of your Demon Castle and have the skeleton do all of the work.
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  #876  
Old 08-07-2018, 05:41 AM
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I'm with Yimonty on DQII. Just look at it!
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  #877  
Old 08-08-2018, 09:03 AM
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LET'S LOOK AT
THE OTHER BOXES

#11 - CASTLEVANIA

DOS



It's completely identical to the North American NES Box, which in turn is completely identical to the European NES Box. And hey, I'll bet you can't guess what the Commodore 64 and Amiga Boxes look like on both sides of the Atlantic! Exact fucking same you say? Hmph, lucky guess.

RANKING: NOTHING TO SEE HERE FOLKS


FAMICOM - JAPAN



Dracula claimed that the NES box was superior to this one a few posts up, but I'm just not seeing it. Without the border you can see so much more of the weirdly colored skyline, and are able to get a better idea of how huge and distant the castle truly is. The whole thing just feels more ALIVE, you know?

RANKING: A


GAME BOY ADVANCE - NORTH AMERICA



Okay so, you got the original art and slapped the Konami NES border on top of it. Then they slapped the CLASSIC NES SERIES border on top of that. And then they slapped the ONLY FOR GAME BOY ADVANCE border on top of that!

How many borders do you need, Nintendo?!

RANKING: HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH?!


GAME BOY ADVANCE - EUROPE



HEY WHERE THE FUCK DID MY BORDERS GO?!

Also why did they go to the trouble of using the original art if they were just gonna shrink it down to the point where it doesn't even cover a third of the box's surface area?

RANKING: C-


FAMICOM DISK SYSTEM - JAPAN



The Famicom Disk System border is lame and dumb and I cannot think of a single context in which I would like it.

RANKING: D


GAME BOY ADVANCE - JAPAN



...I can think of ONE context in which I would like it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
Box arts that are just pictures of prior box arts is a severely underappreciated art form.
RANKING: I FORGIVE YOU EVERYTHING.


MSX - JAPAN



I have completely ran out of things to say about these boxes and yet I stumble onwards Spewing gibberish into the void.

RANKING: THE FUCK YOU WANT FROM ME


MSX - PAL REGIONS



Do you assholes seriously expect me to have thoughts and opinions on the fact that this version Mirrors the art, and is called "Vampire Killer" instead of "Castlevania" for some reason? Because I don't! Nobody should have opinions on that! THOSE WOULD BE STUPID OPINIONS TO HAVE!

RANKING: WAIT SHIT, VAMPIRE KILLER?!


ZX SPECTRUM/AMSTRAD



Ahahahahahahahahahahahahah

RANKING: LAMO


ZX SPECTRUM - FAN REMAKE/DEMAKE



Okay so obviously the Amstrad and ZX Spectrum didn't ACTUALLY get a version of Castlevania, Their version of vampire killer is some other terrible thing. But in 2015, a bunch of DEEPLY INSANE fans made their own Castlevania for the incredibly dated system that literally nobody owns. And given what they were working with, it looks... pretty good!

Mobygames claims that the above image is the game's "cover" But we all know that's a lie because fan-made remakes/demakes don't have covers!

RANKING: YOU TRIED TO TRICK ME BUT I WAS TOO SMART.


PC



Yeah, Konami actually put this thing on actual store shelves in the year of our lord 2002. Like they thought that was an okay thing to do or something.

RANKING: WORDS FAIL ME.


PLAYSTATION - NORTH AMERICA


Quote:
Originally Posted by Diplo View Post
Why are you treating the original Metroid as if it were the same game as Zero Mission? It's not. It's like if you had a cover comparison for the original Castlevania and included the cover for Castlevania Chronicles.
RANKING: B


PLAYSTATION - PAL REGIONS


Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
Oh man, you are gonna HATE some of the posts I have planned for later.
RANKING: C-


PLAYSTATION - JAPAN



LOL OWNED.

RANKING: A


ARCADE CABINET

TOP PANEL


SIDE VIEW


So apparently Nintendo's VS series of Arcade Machines were designed to run a variety of modified NES games, the idea being that arcade owners could just buy one cabinet and switch out the games as needed. That explains why I was able to find a relatively high-quality scan of the top banner, I assume it was made to be easily installed and removed, while the machine itself is entirely generic.

RANKING: IT'S NOT A GREAT TOP PANEL OR ANYTHING THO.


NETFLIX



It's a pretty cool re-imagining of the original box in the new cartoon's style. Also it's very red, which is the color of BLOOD, because this is an ADULT cartoon for GROWN UPS with VIOLENCE and CUSSES!

RANKING: MAKE THE CARTOONS SAY "FUCK", COWARDS


NES - BRAZIL - BOOTLEG



If there is anything truly good in this world, it's Brazillian Pirate Bootlegs.

May we all be so blessed.

RANKING: A+++
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  #878  
Old 08-08-2018, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
FAMICOM - JAPAN



Dracula claimed that the NES box was superior to this one a few posts up, but I'm just not seeing it. Without the border you can see so much more of the weirdly colored skyline, and are able to get a better idea of how huge and distant the castle truly is. The whole thing just feels more ALIVE, you know?

RANKING: A
This is the version I voted for. FULL BLEED FOR LIFE.
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  #879  
Old 08-08-2018, 12:55 PM
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Oh hey there was a Nintendo Direct today on smash ultimate, I should check that out lemme just go over to Youtube and OH HEY WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

Cool coincidence.
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  #880  
Old 08-08-2018, 01:01 PM
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I accept your direct criticism of my tastes BEAT, but I was kinda thinking of the FDS cover when I wrote 'em. The cart release with the beautiful full-bleed came a few years later and I constantly forget about it because I'm a bad person
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  #881  
Old 08-08-2018, 01:27 PM
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The other cool thing about the full-bleed art is being able to see more clearly that Dracula isn't just a giant floating head in the sky, he's a giant Dracula-faced bat in the sky.

It's not as obvious on the NES box.
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  #882  
Old 08-08-2018, 09:59 PM
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The Netflix version removes the sexy bit of buttcheek so that's weird. Or maybe not? I'm not really sure.
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  #883  
Old 08-08-2018, 10:11 PM
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On behalf of BEAT and myself you're welcome for Castlevania x Smash
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  #884  
Old 08-09-2018, 06:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violentvixen View Post
The Netflix version removes the sexy bit of buttcheek so that's weird. Or maybe not? I'm not really sure.
Given that the Netflix Series is for ADULTS with SWEARS and BLOOD, yeah it is kinda weird that they downplayed the sexy.
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  #885  
Old 08-09-2018, 02:20 PM
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Nah. This is America. We can disembowel someone for funsies on TV, but heaven forbid you flash a little titty. The kids might grow up into sex perverts if you do!
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  #886  
Old 08-11-2018, 05:20 PM
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Updates tomorrow!
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  #887  
Old 08-12-2018, 05:05 PM
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#10 Kirby's Adventure (NES, NA, 1993, Nintendo/HAL Labs)
Created by unknown
Votes: 4 for 101 points
Highest: Geard (#2)

The second game to feature HAL Labs' most enduring creation Kirby soars into the top 10, featuring a stunning cover that plays around with the very concept of it being a box art. Our pink puffball is inhaling away the decorative backdrop, revealing all sorts of potential nightmarish content lurking within. Of course, Kirby's Adventure is lacking any sort of super scary element (save Nightmare, the final boss), but it's a splendid composition choice that really made the box stand out in its day.

Sadly, I can't find any credit for who made it for Nintendo.
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  #888  
Old 08-12-2018, 05:15 PM
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#9 Tobal No. 1 (PS1, NA, 1997, Square)
Created by Akira Toriyama...sort of
Votes: 3 for 105 points
Highest: Ample Vigour, BEAT and The Raider Dr. Jones (#1)

Obscure Square fighter Tobal No. 1 overcame some super franchises to crack the Top 10, landing quite securely thanks to three #1 votes (the most any single game actually had, if my memory serves). It's a solid example of 3D rendering in the early days of the practice, creating a feel of being the dazed opponent of Chuji Wu, seeing him close in amidst blurred backgrounds. And on the subject of Chuji Wu, Akira Toriyama's character design is front and center. As is that Final Fantasy VII demo blurb, which I suspect is a major reason the game is remembered in America for.

Toriyama was responsible for the character art, but I highly doubt he actually did the 3D render used here...so he gets partial credit. Not sure who at Dream Factory produced this for Square.
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  #889  
Old 08-12-2018, 06:26 PM
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Oh hey - it's been a while since I had a match with the winners (Kirby's Adventure was #13 on my list). I think it's nice and clean and simple and clever. Not much else I have to say about it really.
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  #890  
Old 08-12-2018, 07:02 PM
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Tobal's JPN cover is so good actually. It would have been on my list had I know of its existence.
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  #891  
Old 08-12-2018, 07:06 PM
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LET'S LOOK AT
THE OTHER BOXES
WHERE MY FUCKIN' ANGRY EYES AT?
#10 - KIRBY'S ADVENTURE

FAMICOM - JAPAN



The art is a bit simplistic and rough, but that's what makes it so charming. So many adorable little Kirbys, and every single one of them is totally pissed off!

RANKING: ANGRY EYES!


NES - PAL REGIONS



It's identical to the North American version that WildcatJF posted, but I'm including it anyways just so I can comment on the bold new direction this box takes in order to better express Kirby's blinding rage. There are a lot of ways to draw an inhumanly furious pink puffball, and while this one might not be everyone's favorite style, I appreciate it both for what it is, and what it's trying to do. After all, experimentation is the key to innovation!

RANKING: ANGRY EYES!


GAME BOY ADVANCE - JAPAN



Nightmare in Dreamland might not be the best version of Kirby's Adventure, but it was an interesting attempt at re-creating a beloved classic in a more modern style. The attempt might not have worked great for the game, but it definitely worked for the box! The sharp angles and distorted perspective do an amazing job of conveying the sheer contempt Kirby holds for everything and everyone, and really, isn't that what these games are all about?

RANKING: ANGRY EYES!


GAME BOY ADVANCE - EVERYWHERE ELSE



For the rest of the world, Nintendo opted to go with a more familiar depiction of Kirby's limitless spite. Some might worry that they're playing it too safe, but I think it's okay to go back to basics every now and then, if only to remind us all why we fell in love with the irate little guy in the first place. I also like Meta Knight breaking tradition to make a rare cover appearance in the background, reminding us that this series has no shortage of delightful characters, all of them mad as hell.

RANKING: ANGRY EYES!


WII - JAPAN

BOX


DISK CASE


So many Kirbys, all of them raging like there's no tomorrow! But the true star of the show here is the Kirby at the center ,who's piercing eyes offer us a glimpse of the infinite outrage, burning in the pit that once might have been his soul. And once you open the box, you are greeted by another Kirby, proudly displaying a brand new sort of indignation. "Come on!" this secondary Kirby yells into your heart. "Let's go fuck some shit up!"

RANKING: ANGRY EYES!


WII - NORTH AMERICA

BOX


DISK CASE


The Kirby on the North American cover displays a different sort of animosity, but one no less powerful. And while you could argue that the main box loses a little bit of the brooding darkness on display in the Japanese cover, I think the in-your-face outrage on the disk case more than makes up for it.

RANKING: ANGRY EYES!


3DS - ESHOP DOWNLOAD



Where the fuck is Kirby?

How am I supposed to enjoy a Kirby game with no pissed-off Kirby staring his hatred into my soul?!

This is some bullshit.

RANKING: F-
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  #892  
Old 08-12-2018, 07:27 PM
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Fun Factor of the preceding post:

10 Kirbys of various emotional statuses
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  #893  
Old 08-12-2018, 08:08 PM
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If I'd thought of that Kirby box I might've voted for it too. Always fun to get just a little bit meta as long as it's done in a creative way.

As for Tobal, I remember talking about some of the Dream Factory staff on Retronauts a while back, but I still can't say I have any idea who did the 3D modeling for it.
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  #894  
Old 08-12-2018, 09:14 PM
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These are crimes against humanity I like it
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  #895  
Old 08-12-2018, 11:58 PM
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I voted for Kirby because it's such a brilliant piece of design having him inhaling the actual cover.

As for Tobal, it's okay I guess but the B.A.R. contingent really really wanted it on here.
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  #896  
Old Yesterday, 06:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WildcatJF View Post
Fun Factor of the preceding post:

10 Kirbys of EXTREMELY MAD RAGE
You flatter me, sir.
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  #897  
Old Yesterday, 07:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
I voted for Kirby because it's such a brilliant piece of design having him inhaling the actual cover.

As for Tobal, it's okay I guess but the B.A.R. contingent really really wanted it on here.
B.A.R. contingent?
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  #898  
Old Yesterday, 08:06 AM
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Bar puppies.
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  #899  
Old Yesterday, 09:01 AM
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doot doo let's see what box art we've got today







Quote:
Originally Posted by WildcatJF View Post
[center]

Last edited by Dracula; Yesterday at 09:04 AM. Reason: old meme: MAXIMIZE!
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  #900  
Old Yesterday, 10:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerad View Post
B.A.R. contingent?
Check who voted Tobal No. 1 (wordplay!).
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