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  #31  
Old 03-21-2014, 04:43 PM
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Default This episode is freaking brilliant

"Hello. I'm Patrick Stewart, theater genius. Late last year, I found unsuccessful New York playwright, Chester Winkle, dead, in his extended stay hotel room. Among his belongings were a hot plate, a stack of Baby Gap catalogs, and twelve American Dad episodes he had written for the stage in one cocaine-fueled night. They were literally the finest collection of words ever put to paper. And now, we're proud to present the only one of Mr. Winkle's plays I didn't eat out of sheer jealousy: Blood Crieth unto Heaven."
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  #32  
Old 03-21-2014, 04:49 PM
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I concur.

"zzzzz... Oh! I bet you thought I was sleeping. .....Acting!"
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  #33  
Old 03-21-2014, 09:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkpen View Post
Peter, it's great that they picked your theme, but isn't it a little esoteric?

Esoteric?

*inside Peter's mind*

Could it mean "sexy"?

I think it's a science term.

Gentlemen, gentlement, esoteric obviously means delicious.

*back outside*

Lois, Who's the Boss is not a food!
Brian: Swing and a miss.
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  #34  
Old 03-22-2014, 08:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post
I concur.

"zzzzz... Oh! I bet you thought I was sleeping. .....Acting!"
"There's no distinction! No demarcation. Hell and Earth slumber in the same bed tonight."

They wrote the most overwrought play possible, then got a legitimate theater legend to act in it. The best.
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  #35  
Old 03-26-2014, 12:54 PM
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"Roy Family? But you-"
"Was frozen? Right, I were! But now, I isn't"

"Men, I don't want to say there won't be any casualties, but one of the armies is made entirely out of children, and we're the only ones with guns so... I think the odds of us going casualty-free are pretty good"
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  #36  
Old 03-26-2014, 01:38 PM
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Francine: The fourth guy I should have married instead of Jordan was Bradford Dorn III. He had a yacht. And a backbone.

Roger: You're boring our guests with your pathetic rants, dear.

Francine: Make me another drink, Jordan. He justifies his existence by mixing a passable cocktail.

Roger: Yes, Love, whatever Love wants. (Pause) Amanda wears a hairpiece.

Francine: What?!

Roger: Oh yeah, worst case of female pattern baldness the doctor's ever seen.

Francine: Well, maybe if you'd studied medicine rather than economics, you'd be able to help me.

Roger: In the words of every sitcom character in the early '90s, and everyone in the Midwest through the rest of the '90s, "Don't go there".

Francine: Come on, Professor. Tell the kids about all the economics conventions you attend discussing economics with the economics people.

(A long pause. Roger takes off his glasses and cleans them. He puts them back on, and looks at Francine for a good few seconds)

Roger: Tell them how you killed our baby, Amanda.
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  #37  
Old 03-26-2014, 06:59 PM
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American Dad is just so good
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  #38  
Old 03-26-2014, 07:09 PM
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"Well, there goes the neighbourhood! Ha ha, normally that statement has racist implications, but what I've done is actually much worse."
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  #39  
Old 03-27-2014, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wolfgang View Post
American Dad is just so good
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  #40  
Old 03-27-2014, 02:11 PM
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  #41  
Old 03-27-2014, 03:53 PM
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INTERCOURSE!!

capsbaaaaan.... *shakes fist*
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  #42  
Old 03-27-2014, 11:40 PM
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(upon chugging a coke) ...Poh-Polar bears shouldn't give this to their babies.
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  #43  
Old 03-28-2014, 07:56 PM
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"You smell horrible."
"You smell horrible too. And look horrible."
~they kiss~
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  #44  
Old 04-14-2014, 10:22 AM
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"Look Stan, everyone makes bad decisions. But it's a numbers game! Eventually you're bound to make the right call! Look at Nicholas Cage; he made many horrible movies, Snake-Eyes, 8 Millimeter, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Mandolin, Windtalkers, Ghost Rider, Family Man, Weatherman, Wicker Man, Bangkok Dangerous... But then he nailed it Stan, with National Treasure 2. The Greatest movie of all time! He nailed it so hard that he became a national treasure... too!"
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  #45  
Old 04-14-2014, 11:31 AM
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Peter: I say, Quagmire, it seems to me we've each made another $500 million dollars.

Quagmire: Good thing we swore off women so we wouldn't be distracted and unable to accumulate this vast amount of wealth.

Peter: Yes. You watch the ticker. I'm gonna microwave a bagel and have sex with it.

Quagmire: Butter's in the fridge!
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  #46  
Old 04-23-2014, 02:52 PM
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Like, where else would it be?
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  #47  
Old 04-23-2014, 03:03 PM
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On their erect penises
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  #48  
Old 04-23-2014, 03:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Sensible View Post
Like, where else would it be?
Some people also keep a single stick of butter at room temperature in a dish so you don't have to warm it up every time you use it.



...I can't believe we're actually talking about practicalities here.
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  #49  
Old 04-24-2014, 02:17 AM
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peter fucked bread
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  #50  
Old 04-24-2014, 02:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madhair60 View Post
peter fucked bread
Sadly, not the most disturbing thing he's done that with on the show.
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  #51  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:06 AM
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Roger: I'm going too. I'm a non-writing producer, which means I get paid to do nothing. I might even be a hindrance. I'm gonna call everyone to tell them Sweeps is coming to town. I'm gonna get off the plane and go right to Dana Plato's grave. I owe it to her. I killed her.
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  #52  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:09 AM
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Roger: Are you crazy, pushing me in the pool?! I had 40 hits of Ecstasy in my pocket! (Turns to children in the pool) Buckle up, kids. (Turns to parents) They're going to have to go to the hospital.
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  #53  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:10 AM
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Stan: My house is going to be way better than Buckle's. I ain't 'fraid of no ghosts.

Roger: How dare you quote Ghostbusters to me! I wrote a movie called Rump-Busters and threw it at a guy on the bus who looked like Harold Ramis. Two weeks later Ghostbusters came out. Coincidence? Absolutely.
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  #54  
Old 07-14-2014, 03:12 AM
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Stan: What is this?

Roger: Your dream restaurant: Roger's Laotian Adventure.

Stan: But what about my scale model?

Roger: Stan, it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my ass with it.
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  #55  
Old 07-14-2014, 04:06 PM
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Roger, going under the house, through his wine cellar and garage full of classic cars, picking out a Toyota Camry and (somehow) driving it off a cliff.
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  #56  
Old 07-14-2014, 04:17 PM
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It is terribly appropriate that the Family Guy thread morphed into an American Dad thread once we mined out all the good episodes of FG
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  #57  
Old 07-19-2014, 12:48 AM
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"Look at us - several couples of schmoes."
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  #58  
Old 07-19-2014, 04:45 AM
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"My god, he's so handsome he makes me look like you. And you... Look like.... You with your shirt off."
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  #59  
Old 07-19-2014, 06:50 AM
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You're really going to kill five guys over twenty dollars?!

Are you seriously asking that to the person who just last week killed six guys over nineteen dollars?
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  #60  
Old 09-06-2014, 03:41 PM
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Excuse me, gentlemen. If I were to have learned that I were the Lindbergh Baby, to whom would I inform?
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