The Return of Talking Time

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  #61  
Old 04-15-2017, 07:12 PM
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OH MY DOG, the toylines tag line was "The Age of the Skeletons Has Begun"

OH MAN!

I am also sure I had a Baron Dark action figure when I was Tiny Years Old, but I had no idea what it was from.
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  #62  
Old 04-15-2017, 07:27 PM
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I no longer fear Hell for I have been to Camp Krusty Candy.

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Just the intro alone is a solid two minutes of sweet flying motorcycle-riding Skeletons while the theme song (which is just someone Van Halening the hell of of the words "SKELETON WARRIORS".
This is another case where nostalgia is telling me this theme song is awesome because it contains the greatest guitar riff ever.

But I'll let all of you judge for yourselves.


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Prince Weeny turns into a hunk of beef jerky who can also teleport.
By using shadows as portals to another dimension.
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  #63  
Old 04-16-2017, 06:34 AM
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FUCK YES SKELETONS
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  #64  
Old 04-16-2017, 02:12 PM
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Default Just skip this post. It is a portent of unfortunate tidings.

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FUCK YES SKELETONS
I could ruin this for you if you want me to.
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  #65  
Old 04-16-2017, 05:19 PM
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Huh, I didn't know Octo was unaware of Skeleton Warriors. Here in the US it was on CBS's animation block. I guess it didn't air in Canada, or was only on cable if it did?

Anyway, it's definitely one of the shorter cartoon series around at only 13 episodes. Dunno if there were ever any plans for the show to go beyond one season, but they concluded its plot in the final episodes.
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  #66  
Old 04-16-2017, 08:37 PM
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Huh, I didn't know Octo was unaware of Skeleton Warriors. Here in the US it was on CBS's animation block. I guess it didn't air in Canada, or was only on cable if it did?
I remember seeing it at my grandma's house, so I{ guess it aired somewhere in Canada. I think it was one with WildC.A.T.s or Ultraforce or some similar cartoon based on a 90's comic that was expunged from our collective memory.
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  #67  
Old 04-17-2017, 02:36 AM
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It probably aired, but my Saturday Morning Cartoon Time was limited in those heady days, and was a complicated dance hopping between Fox and YTV. I couldn't experiment with other channels.
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  #68  
Old 04-17-2017, 05:38 AM
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It probably aired, but my Saturday Morning Cartoon Time was limited in those heady days, and was a complicated dance hopping between Fox and YTV. I couldn't experiment with other channels.
Not until college, anyway.
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  #69  
Old 04-17-2017, 07:20 AM
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This is only semi-related to this thread, but it will always crack me up that Beast Wars was called "Beasties" in Canada.
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  #70  
Old 04-17-2017, 01:30 PM
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I could ruin this for you if you want me to.
No you can't.
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  #71  
Old 04-17-2017, 01:32 PM
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Skeleton Warriors also spawned a pretty decent Sega Saturn game made by the guys who went on to do Tony Hawk's Pro Skater.

When Playmates Interactive broke up it created Neversoft, Paradox (the Thrill Kill guys), and Left Field (the Excitebike 64 guys).
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  #72  
Old 04-19-2017, 05:33 PM
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Well, that was AMAZING He-Man, so how about the regular kind?

A Heartfelt desire to sell the same toy thousands of times presents...



He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

So back in the early 80s, Conan the Barbarian was a pretty big deal and someone at Mattel figured they could sell HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of Barbarian-themed toys if they changed up the paintjob and swapped out heads every so often, and chucked the whole thing over to Filmation and DC comics which fleshed it out a bit with a surprising writing staff that also chucked a bit of Jack Kirbys Fourth World books for flavor, and Filmation plopped out a syndicated cartoon that had about ten minutes worth of animation spread out across 130 episodes. And The Cosmic Comet was the first of those! And this is Talking Time so I don't really need to explain the show, right? Prince Adam of the planet Eternia finds a magic sword that turns him into the Most Powerful Man in the Universe, and who spends most of his time fighting a skeleton wizard with the help of his buddies who may or may not be called the Masters of the Universe, depending on the episode.

Anyone, one fine... night(?) two of Skeletors generals Beast-Man (name is pretty self-explanatory) and Evil-Lyn (witch) are star-gazing for a Cosmic Comet and, having seen it, immediately attack Castle Greyskull, the source of He-Mans power. And He-Man just happens to be standing right there so he picks them up and throws them the h*ck out of dodge.

Just then the giant floating face of The Sorceress, the goddess who gave He-Man his power in the first place appears and tells He-Man that there's a Cosmic Comet coming and Skeletor can use it somehow to attack again. And, to that end, she sends him off to visit a wizard named Zagraz: The Keeper of The Comets. Who lives on Zagraz Mountain.

I'm assuming you are a big deal if you have any of those honorifics, let alone all of them.

So back at Castle Eternia; He-Man needs permission from his dad to go looking for any Wizards on any kind of Mountains, and King Randor is fine with that so long as he also takes Man-At-Arms (who knows that He-Man and Prince Adam are the same person) and Captain Teela (who does not). He also sends Orko the court magician/jester along too, not because he'll be handy on a treacherous quest to meet a wizard, but because Randor just does not want to deal with him.

Meanwhile, on Snake Mountain, Skeletor, Evil-Lyn and Beast-Man reach in for an Evil Group Hug. Which translates to letting Skeletor control the comet via EVIL MAGIC. UH OH!

Meanwhile AGAIN, the adventure-party made up of Magic Barbarian, Cyborg, Good Fighter and Ineffective Wizard reach Mount Zagraz; home of Zagraz, and find out why, besides being given his own mountain, the dude is called The Keeper of Comets.

Specifically, it's because he has comets buzzing around the mountain like a swarm of angry bees.

Theya slo pose no problem whatsoever because they just stroll up the mountain comet or no. And Zagraz is really friendly and excited to talk to people (he'd probably get more visitors if it weren't for the comet thing), and he also sounds like the Cowardly Lion trying to imitate the Clown Bed from The Simpsons.


Not pictured; comets.

Anyway, Zagraz lays out some exposition that is, as befits this show; insane. Seems that the Cosmic Comet was once a part of a set of Happy Comets that traveled the universe and Zagraz decided to steal them to add to his comet collection but, sadly, he under estimated how powerful his magic is and the spell that should have stolen two comets instead wound up destroying one. And the remaining Cosmic Comet grew lonely and evil without its friend (emphasis not mine) and now it will only respond to Evil; and therefor he's helpless and Skeletor can control it easily.

Back on Snake Mountain, Skeletor knows that Zagraz can't do jack about the Cosmic Comet, but figures he might, so he tells the Comet to send creatures down to capture Zagraz;

"Comet! Send creatures down to capture Zagraz", says Skeletor and, once the Comet responds by shooting MORE comets down, he continues "The comet sent down creatures! Those creatures will capture Zagraz!"

Dude is like Mojo Jojo except without a face. I <3 you, Skeletor.

Anyway, the Comets shot out by the comet turn into rock-men and while Teela Man-at Arms and Orko have their hands full fighting them, Prince Adam slinks off and says his magic word, using up the shows most expensive piece of stock footage and turning into He-Man. And, with confirmation that the Rock Monsters are Not Sentient Things, he has permission to just BREAK THEM APART.

Skeletor really should know better then to send rock monsters anywhere he suspects He-Man might be. I know its the first episode and all, but this isn't his day of Skele-villainy.

Unfortunately, while He-Man could beat the comet creatures easily, the encounter left Zagraz feeling miserable when his attempt to capture them, Pokemon style totally failed and he slips into a Sadness Coma (ayup), so the group decides to bring him back to Castle Greyskull. Orko also gathers up the shattered pieces of ROCKMAN just in case. I smell foreshadowing. Luckily, the Sorceress thinks she can cure his SAD COMA, so He-Man, Teela and Man-at-Arms all decide to go over to Snake Mountain and punch Skeletor until he stops being a problem for a week or so.

As far as Teela knows, they just abandoned Prince Adam on a mountain that is constantly bombarded by giant space rocks after being attacked by a sentient comet that is trying to kill everyone neaby with rock-men. She's... not a very good bodyguard.

Anyway, after a brief fight against Beast-Man that mostly served as a way to inform kids what a cool toy the Atak-Trak is (on sale at K-Mart now!), Skeletor and Evil-Lyn call upon the power of the Comet once more and... well... honestly not really sure what happened here. They were empowered somehow, but the editing of this sequence made it really vague as to how. I think they became giant but there's nothing nearby to judge their height by and they never appear in the same shot as He-Man et all. Anyway, they shoot a laser that beats the entire team and then they somehow teleport right back to Grayskull.

This is partly so they won't die and mostly because Zagraz has been cured of his SAD COMA and has a brilliant idea; using the comet chunks Orko collected earlier he can use his COMET MAGIC to build a second Cosmic Comet and fill it with Good Magic. Then bash it against the Evil Comet and cancel it out.

Futurama had this exact same idea and we all loved it there so I don't want to hear any remarks.

Skeletor, incidentally, isn't futzing around anymore and is just going to smash the Cosmic Comet right into Castle Greyskull and solve all his problems at once.

Luckily, just before the Comet impacts, they complete the spell to create a Good Comet, which immediately thanks them (the comet can speak now, btw) and Zagraz uses the power of SELF CONFIDENCE to restore it and it heads right into the sky to thwart its BAD DAD.

He-Man also jumps straight up into the sky and starts wrestling with the Evil Comet for good measure because OF COURSE HE WOULD.

"That's the last time I try to wrestle a comet" mutters He-Man when this plan works exactly as well as it ought to.

Anyway, the Evil Comet is pleased to have a friend again, and they both thank Zagraz go back into space, but not before blowing up Skeletor.

Back at Castle Eternia, Zagraz is using his newfound confidence to teach Prince Adam telekinesis, a skill which impresses nobody.

Then we cut to Man-At-Arms teaching us the episodes moral, in case we didn't pick up on it earlier. This was a service done so parental watchdog groups wouldn't be quite so upset about the fact that their children just watched a low-budget twenty-minute toy commercial.

Specifically, Man At Arms teaches us that if you believe in yourself you TOO can telekinetically manipulate sentient comets. It's a lesson we all need to learn sometimes.
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  #73  
Old 04-19-2017, 05:41 PM
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THAT's why I don't have telekinesis!
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  #74  
Old 04-19-2017, 05:48 PM
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I just watched that episode last week!

My kids love this shit and my youngest is having a hard time understanding why I can't just run to Toys R' Us and buy him a bunch of He-Man toys. When I tell him the show is almost as old as I am, he dons the slit-eyes and stares incredulously.

Clearly, something so amazing could only have been created recently.
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  #75  
Old 04-20-2017, 07:51 AM
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I just watched that episode last week!

My kids love this shit and my youngest is having a hard time understanding why I can't just run to Toys R' Us and buy him a bunch of He-Man toys. When I tell him the show is almost as old as I am, he dons the slit-eyes and stares incredulously.

Clearly, something so amazing could only have been created recently.
Loose 80s He-Man figures are still pretty reasonable on the secondary market, I'm just sayin'. Especially if you don't mind a couple of missing accessories.

Incidentally, Cosmic Comet is sometimes described as the first episode of this cartoon, but I think it was the first aired, but not the first created. That would be Diamond Ray of Disappearance.

Anyway this cartoon is pure and lovely, and to this day it's hilarious to me that some parents were still up in arms about it being too violent or scary. When you see the limited animation, just think to yourself, "Lou Scheimer cut costs so he could keep his animation team domestic."
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  #76  
Old 04-20-2017, 08:51 AM
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Well, prior to He-Man, you had stuff like Superfriends where the content of "fights" seemed to be based on catching people in nets or, at most, tying them up by using girders like rope.

He-Man could at least punch people. Hell, one of the pieces of stock footage is him up and just wailing on the camera.
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  #77  
Old 04-20-2017, 11:40 AM
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Yeah, that was another product of the early-80s loosening of broadcast regulations that we've been talking about on the toy thread.
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  #78  
Old 04-20-2017, 05:35 PM
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And He-Man's still not as violent as the stuff from the 50s and 60s. He-Man was way more likely to throw people/things than to punch, and he never uses his sword on an organic living creature as far as I can recall.

Speaking of 60s stuff that wouldn't fly in the 70s or 80s.



Skip to about 0:48 to get to the use of the word "kill" and extreme acts of violence, the first 47 seconds are just Ye Olde Embarrassing Racism & Sexism.
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  #79  
Old 04-20-2017, 05:48 PM
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also great: the 'stupid sexy spidey' pose at that same time
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  #80  
Old 04-20-2017, 06:04 PM
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I loved that, where he's basically doing the Escher girls "simultaneous T&A" thing.
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  #81  
Old 04-21-2017, 08:13 AM
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I loved that, where he's basically doing the Escher girls "simultaneous T&A" thing.
Proportional speed, strength, and flexibility of a spider, don't'cha know.

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and he never uses his sword on an organic living creature as far as I can recall.
He might've boinked someone over the head with the pommel once, but that's about it.
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  #82  
Old 04-21-2017, 05:26 PM
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And He-Man's still not as violent as the stuff from the 50s and 60s. He-Man was way more likely to throw people/things than to punch, and he never uses his sword on an organic living creature as far as I can recall.

Speaking of 60s stuff that wouldn't fly in the 70s or 80s.



Skip to about 0:48 to get to the use of the word "kill" and extreme acts of violence, the first 47 seconds are just Ye Olde Embarrassing Racism & Sexism.
Speaking of Marvel's early ventures into TV, we have to talk about the Mighty Marvel Superheroes strand. Specifically The Mighty Thor segment, because it's amazing.

These cartoons were about as limited as you get in animation terms, they're more-or-less radio plays with pictures. And pictures literally photocopied from original comic art by Kirby, Buscema et al straight onto animation cells(you can bet they didn't receive an extra cent for that).

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3qgfsy

I'm guessing the cast were from a radio background as well, due to the manner in which they PROCLAIM their dialogue WITH THE FORCE OF A THOUSAND VOICES!!

A friend of mine had the episodes with Hercules on video when we were kids, it was just about the funniest thing I'd ever seen at the time.

"Though the words be strange, the tone is unmistakable! And WORSE!! They interrupt my madrigal!!"

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  #83  
Old 04-21-2017, 06:52 PM
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Man, I wish I saw that before I spent the last half hour watching this nonsense.

A slap-dash attempt to edit TV content presents...


VOLTRON: DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE

Just to stave off any confusion, this is the original Voltron. Not the recent, exponentially better Voltron: Legendary Defender, which is also on Netflix. Point in fact, I'm about 90% sure this is only here to better illustrate how good LD is. Voltron is the American version of the anime series Go-Lion, a highly violent series that involves astronauts fleeing a post-apocalyptic Earth and discovering a giant robot who may-or-may-not be God and using it to fight the demonic Galra empire that besieges the universe. When bringing it across the pond they had to excise any sort of violence, so Earth is fine, and the Galra Empire is renamed Planet Doom and is populated by robots and robots only. Doesn't matter how non-robotic they appear. Nothing fleshy is allowed to be harmed.

And nowhere is this policy more jarring then in The Sleeping Princess. Where I have no idea if any of the characters are aware that there's a difference between someone being dead and having a nap.

And we open on Planet Doom, where secondary villain Prince Lotor is having a sexy nightmare about Princess Alura of the Voltron Force being murdered by spears and a mysterious cloaked figure which Lotor identifies as an Ogre Guard (for some reason) takes her to a spooky forest. This doesn't lead to a restful nights sleep, which is doubly bad since this is a big day for Lotor.

Turns out his father King Zarkon has arbitrarily chosen this to be his wedding day! Just, like, right the hell out of nowhere! And the randomly chosen bride has all the earmarks of a perfect royals marriage; such as that she's shy and frightened of the blue-skinned monster men, and also she speaks in unintelligible bubble-talk. Also her family's loaded!

"But father! What about my feelings?" Protests Lotor.
"You don't have any feelings! You're an instrument of evil!" Responds Zarkon, projecting a bit.

Fortunately, Royal Evil Witch and fellow Secondary Villain Hagger realizes that the true path to Lotors heart is in kidnapping Princess Alura and forcing her to marry him against her will, so, with Lotors assurances that she get Evil Witch Tenure (or something?) she uses her dark magic to create The Painless Blade, an enchanted knife that will absolutely not ever hurt anyone stabbed with it. It will make them very drowsy. NOT DEAD. I CAN NOT STRESS THAT ENOUGH.

KNIVES CAN NOT HURT PEOPLE! THAT IS A LIE SPREAD BY THE LIBERAL MEDIA.

And so, Hagger put the Painless Blade in her cats mouth, and dumps it on Planet Arus, where Alura lives, and waits for her cat to up and stab her (as you do). Which takes all of a minute. Seriously, like she's impatient to be shanked by a pussycat. And then she takes a nap.

A nap so restful she needs to be put in an oxygen tent.

A snooze so thorough that the EKG she's hooked up to informs us that her heart has stopped beating.

So Keith, completely uninteresting leader of the Voltron Force runs out of the Slumberland Hospice, tears in his eyes and proclaims to the unfeeling cosmos that she's obviously asleep because Lotor wants to marry Alura, not kill her. And the rest of the Voltron Force, shocked in grief, casually agrees that, yes, she's having a good nap and therefor witchcraft is involved.

Pidge (who, in this incarnation is both A Boy and The Worst) suggests just waiting for the spell to wear off, or trying to wake her up or something. Maybe like, shaking her pretty good or shouting in her ear or something. Hunk (who sounds for all the world like Fred Flintstone) has a much better idea; they'll hold a funeral for Alura (who, again, everyone is fully aware is just snoozing) and wait for Lotor to try to steal the hearse. Then they'll beat him up!

So they do.

They hold a funeral for the Princess with lots of Tearful dialogue about how they can't wait for the Princess to finish her nap and to also beat the crap out of Lotor. Then they load her comatose body into a coffin and take her off to be interred. Coron (not voiced by Rhys Darby and who is therefor nothing) restates that the Doctor is also aware that Alura is alive and well, just all tuckered out. And Keith informs him that they know, they're just waiting for a space devil to come by and kidnap her so they can smack him around a bunch.

And Coron is okay with this plan because he's awful.

Naturally, Lotor attacks while the Hearse is making its way to the royal cemetery (full of all of Arus' countless generations of people having a very restful sleep), and most of the Voltrom Force runs alllllll the way back to the Castle to get their Lions, while Pidge just tries to squeeze Lotors head off with his thighs.

A plan that causes Lotor to politely ask him to "quit it".

The Lions eventually return, just after Pidge is tossed off the Hearse. And Lotor is genuinely concerned for Pidges wellbeing for this entire sequence. He's the nicest space devil ever.

Pidge responds to his enemies genuine concern by pulling a grenade out of nowhere and threatening to jam it down Lotors throat. Hagger suggests pulling a retreat because no part of this plan is working, or even logical, and Lotor agrees, and they head back to Planet Doom in their Coffin-shaped spaceship.

Pidge still has a live grenade in his hand, though, so he just tosses it away, pretty close to where Alura is still resting, and the noise of the explosion wakes her up. Yay.

Back at the castle, Alura gives Pidge a peck on the cheek for bravely being a complete friggin' lunatic, and then Aluras nursemaid glowers at him when he asks for a second one. Everyone laughs. Cut to credits.

Last edited by Octopus Prime; 04-24-2017 at 11:30 AM.
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  #84  
Old 04-21-2017, 08:31 PM
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I had some of the toys because cool die-cast metal robot tigers but I never watched the cartoon and I think I missed out because holy shit.
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Old 04-21-2017, 08:47 PM
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Sounds about right.

No Ro-beast though?! Robbed.
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  #86  
Old 04-21-2017, 10:07 PM
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Sounds about right.

No Ro-beast though?! Robbed.
Or do you mean ro-bbed?
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  #87  
Old 04-22-2017, 04:46 AM
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Sounds about right.

No Ro-beast though?! Robbed.
I figured they were at least going to toss in a couple of spaceships or something once they went to the bother of using the stock footage of the Lions launching.

Three giant robot lions seems like a bit of overkill for one (1) blue man with a sword and a witch who is just hanging out.
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Old 04-22-2017, 09:49 AM
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I neglected to mention it (problem with tapping out an update on my phone), but during the Nap-Funeral, Keith also delivers the most half-asses eulogy ever, complimenting Alura for letting him and his buddies take some giant robot lions out of her garage, for the fact that she liked children danced one time, and that she was friends with some mice.

He then gives much more enthusiastic praise for the mice, saying that they knew more about affairs of state and political maneuvering than Coran did. And I am completely unsure if he was complimenting some mice, or insulting Coran.

I've come to realize that Legendary Defender is the good Voltron, but Defender of the Universe is the Octo Voltron.
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  #89  
Old 04-22-2017, 10:17 AM
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"Though the words be strange, the tone is unmistakable! And WORSE!! They interrupt my madrigal!!"

I absolutely love this voice for Hercules. If they ever bring him into the MCU, I hope they portray him the exact same way.

They put these cartoons (for lack of a better term) on VHS back in the 90's. One of them, The Sub-Mariner, touted a guest appearance by the X-Men with a picture of Wolverine on the back. The fact that these cartoons were made in the 60's, and Wolvie wasn't introduced until the 70's, clearly didn't stop anyone.

Adding insult to injury, the only reason they even stuck the X-Men in that episode is because it was originally a Fantastic Four story, and the studio didn't have the rights to the FF.

On that note, if Octo's still taking suggestions, how about one of the many animated versions of the Fantastic Four?
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Old 04-22-2017, 12:29 PM
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Yeah, I've kind of chosen to totally ignore the rules I set up all together. More fun to do things come-what-may.

That being said, very open for suggestions, and every Fantastic Four cartoon is the Best Fantastic Four cartoon.
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democracy in action , octo-good

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