The Return of Talking Time

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Old 10-11-2017, 03:53 PM
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Default Digital Down-Low for 10/11/2017: Million Dollar Fanfiction Theater

Websters Dictionary describes a "video game" as "an adjective describing rural, rustic, or pastoral, especially suggesting simple, innocent contentment."

Anyway, first up this week is The Evil Within 2, a sequel to a game that I, by all evidence should have loved (Resident Evil 4, except everything is born of a Weirdos Brain Problems Messing Up Junk), but did not actually like that much despite my best efforts.

"Wander through a Crazy Guys Problems and Shoot those Problems in the Damn Face with A Gun"

It's a kind of therapy!


The kind folks at ACA also released three Neo-Geo games that all came out on Switch in the last few weeks; Burning Fight (Final Fight except with fewer shirtless mayors committing a variation on vehicular homicide), Metal Slug X (arguably the best Conta-em-up game [citation needed]) and Samurai Shodown 2 (no comment).


Miko Gakkou Monogatari: Kaede Episode (hey! I spelled that correctly without copy-pasting it! Go me!) is a RPG/Adventure game about a bunch of Japanese Shrine Maidens finding love in the arms of the youkai.

And it looks like a PS1 game. Like a slightly higher-rez Wild Arms or Legend of Legaia. Except with more ahhhromance.


And speaking of JRPGs designed to inspire emotions not chemically dissimilar to ahhhromance, we have Cyberdimension Neptunia: 4 Goddesses, which is (from context clues) a dungeon crawly sort of action rpg with scarcely-dressed anime ladies who are supposed to be video game consoles, if they were buxom instead of rectangles.


ECHO is a game where you're a SPACE LADY exploring a Weird Spaceship where the lights keep turning out and then turning back on with slightly out-of-sync evil duplicates of you popping up to murd you back something fierce.

Kind of like the Shadow Mario levels, if, instead of a pudgy jumpman, you were Commander Shepard.


Next up is Middle-Earth: The Shadow of War, which kind of snuck up me like a husband trying to stealth-smooch his wife. The first game managed to craft a pretty fun (if thin) sandboxy game on the strength of how it handled boss fights alone and so for the sequel they decided to double-down on both the Fanfiction Elements and also introduce Loot Crates.

Man, I hope there's a Funko-Pop of Tom Bombadill in there.


We've also got a couple of ports of more Shmuppy games like Raiden V (not to be confused with Chris Lamberts character from Mortal Kombat) and Battle Garegga Rev. 2016 (an M2-developed port of one of the games that codified the Bullet-Hell genre).

In either case, you are welcomed to Hell! AND HELL IS A PLACE FOR BULLETS!


Raid: World War 2 has Eric Idle in its trailer! So that got my attention right away.

Otherwise, it's a co-op shooter about going through Germany and killing every Nazi as hard as you possibly can and steal their treasure. And it's hard to find much fault with that hobby.


Raw Data is also a first person shooter, but instead of shooting nazis, it's robots. And instead of guns, you have psychic powers. Or possibly anti-robot powers? I don't know, the trailer was vague on that score. And the product description explained the story but not the game.

Look; usually I don't do research out of a sense of expediency, but sometimes it's because the developers don't want me to.


And also we've got Stereo Aereo which I believe to be the first game to effortlessly blend Rockband and Shmup gameplay as, as the music notes that approach you also represent obstacles for you to dodge or explode; depending on the context of the scene.


AND THAT'S IT FOR THE PS4! TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR NINTENDOS!
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Old 10-12-2017, 12:28 PM
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Wrong Python. It's Cleese.
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Old 10-12-2017, 12:38 PM
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I realized my error long after the point when I could have comfortably edited that.
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Old 10-13-2017, 05:03 PM
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Okay, so the eShop! "Better Late then never!" I hear you say!

The Switch leads the charge this week with 88 Heroes: 99 Heroes Edition, a platformer where you have just under a minute and a half to clear eighty eight levels, while using between 87 and 100 unique characters. It looks neat enough that I'm very interested, but it's also expensive enough that I don't want to impulse-buy it.


Wulverblade is perhaps the game that has the most fun-to-pronounce title this week, And regular readers of these threads will know that having a fun-to-pronounce title is far more important to me than any amount of game play description.

Try it with me; "Wulverblade"

No, no, try it with a Scandinavian accent.

Woah, geez, you sounded like the Swedish Chef there... this isn't working at all.

Forget I said anything.

This is a beat-em-up about old timey dudes knockin' skulls.


The Flame and the Flood is an artsy looking survive-em-up about being on a river that occasionally dives into scrounging for food and junk to Raft More Good.

It is precisely the exact same as Toobin in every way, up until the moment it becomes Don't Starve.


Yono and the Celestial Elephants is perhaps the most adorable video game I have ever seen. It is a Zeld-em-up and just watching the trailer for more than an instant makes me stop and go "awwwwwwww lookit'im!"

One of the bulletpoints is "Discuss ascetic virtue ethics with the undead" and "piece together ancient texts to uncover the influences of past elephants"

And everything in it is so cuuuuuute.


Out on Tuesday, and therefor listed today is Rogue Trooper: Redux, a gussied up port of the Wii/original XBox shooter based on the 2000 AD comic of the same name.

Err... 2000 AD as in "the book that also had Judge Dredd" not "a comic published between the years 1999 and 2001".

It stars a blue chap who Shoots All The Bad Guys.

I'm lead to understand that it was secretly pretty good back in the day and is quite probably the only Good Game based on a 2000 AD Property.

...unless you count Crackdown to be a Judge Dredd game. Which I do. Your opinions may vary.


Speaking of Shooting All Things in a Terrible Future; Neon Chrome is a twin-stick-em-up with that premise! And everything is shiny as h*ck! And that's all I got to say there!


Unbox: Newbies Adventure is one of those games where the description does everything in its power to stymy my ability to comprehend it. I infer it's a physics platformer about boxes. And that is as far as my safe assessment goes.

Oh, and you can put a hat on a box.

If nothing else, I appreciate how easy that makes it to pick an appropriate image.


And this weeks Neo-Geo release is King of Fighters '95, which many fans of the series cite as being "one of the good ones". I can't comment on that, but I do appreciate that it introduced Iori, the infinitely more appealing foil to bland-as-dry-toast series protagonist Kyo. Even if his pants makes no practical sense and bother me more than I care to admit.


On the 3DS this week (well, next week) we have Etrian Odyssey V: Beyond the Myth and, first and foremost, if I had realized that this would be included in this weeks releases I completely would have given it the title-spot in the thread name. Kind of kicking myself there.

BUT!

I always name the characters in my EO party after cultural and historical figures so I can pretend they're teaming up to save the world from whatever horrors lurk in that big tree. So I make it fanfiction.

Phew, saved on a technicality.

Anyway; it's an RPG, you draw a map as you explore a big tree full of Things That Kill You, and this is Talking Time, so I plainly didn't need to wear down the buttons on my keyboard describing an Etrian Odyssey game to any extent.


And on the WiiU we once again have a cluster of TG-16 releases. And also Volgar the Viking (which eagle-brained readers will recall came up last week on the Switch, and was a Vikingier Ghosts and Goblins). Besides that, however, we have Motoroader (a top-down racer in the RC Pro-Am vein), Digital Champ: Battle Boxing (hilariously named Bad Punch Out) and Legend of Hero Tonma (which looks a lot like Ninja SPirit, but with brighter, more cartoony sprites).

In conclusion, these are the games you can now play on your Nintendo WiiU.

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Old 10-13-2017, 05:47 PM
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88 Heroes? Did they choose that number for a good reason like it being the number of keys on a piano, or a bad reason like it being the neo-nazi number?
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Old 10-13-2017, 09:01 PM
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Given the one of the gameplay elements is 88 second timed levels, I imagine the original reasoning was "88 stands out more than 90 seconds". That said, the villain appears to be named Dr. H8...
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