The Return of Talking Time

Go Back   The Return of Talking Time > Talking about media > Talking about books

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #61  
Old 09-29-2017, 07:58 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Well, it's been fun taking most of these books at least partly seriously. But now we have Book 14: The Unknown, which falls squarely in the category of Dumb.

The start is kind of promising: a Zone 91 conspiracy theorist calls Cassie's dad in to check out some horses acting weirdly near the Dry Lands. Cassie and Rachel find out that the Yeerks are broadening their horizons by infesting horses. Sure, not as useful as animals can get, but easy to get a hold of and unobtrusive. Sadly, brainslugged horses are the smartest part of this story.

The reason the Yeerks are controlling horses is to get into Zone 91, so leave it to the Animorphs to get caught on Zone 91 grounds while investigating horses. During this time, we learn that Cassie absolutely cannot lie under pressure and that there's a fun day at The Gardens' amusement park for the guards lined up in a few days! They narrowly escape having to tell their parents that they were at Zone 91 and resolve to get a suite of horse morphs to blend in with the Yeerk horses. Cassie already has a horse morph, but she forgot, and ends up risking her life and competing in a horse race as a result.

Horse-based stealth eventually reveals that Zone 91 is, in fact, housing alien tech, but the Yeerks have no idea what it is. Ax reveals that it's an Andalite toilet, so the espionage is mostly a waste of everyone's time. That said, the existence of alien tech is enough for the Yeerks to establish a foothold in the base, so they decide to... ambush soldiers at The Gardens' haunted house exhibit. This is foiled in short order as the entire Yeerk force ends up running through a Disneyland-inspired parade.

I don't personally know what stories were ghostwritten and which ones weren't, but this one almost had to be. Forgetting character capabilities, countless unpunished risks to secrecy for both sides, and almost no payoff for either the Animorphs or the Yeerks. Remember how Book 12: The Reaction was at least a good delightful stupid that had some internal logic? This book is exactly one of those things. Eh, can't all be winners.
Reply With Quote
  #62  
Old 09-29-2017, 10:07 PM
Serephine's Avatar
Serephine Serephine is offline
contains words & diagrams
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 10,120
Default

Would it be completely out of line to ask you to dredge up the amazing cover art for these? If people aren't familiar with the cover art for these please do yourself a favor and look them up.

Also this thread continues to be a treasure.
Reply With Quote
  #63  
Old 09-29-2017, 10:09 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Bleh. Let's wash away the aftertaste of that one with Book 15: The Escape. This one starts off with intel from Erek that Visser One is working on some kind of undersea project near Royan Island. Only other detail is that they may have a new species as a Controller, which is the mind-reading Leeran. Very short range, but if they get in that range, they're doomed. So the stakes are super high, but definitely worth it.

Only problem is that when they get to the undersea facility, they find it guarded by hammerhead sharks. Literally guarded: the sharks even ignore the scent of blood in favor of repelling them. Since their biology makes them ineligible for infestation, the group tries taking on hammerhead forms themselves, and get brought into the facility with the others and given Yeerk brain implants, revealing part of their plan: modifying hammerhead sharks to control them directly, with an eventual project goal of actual shark Controllers. Unlike the horse plot from last book, this one has a reason for it: Visser One is also managing the assault on the aquatic Leeran homeworld, where their psychic powers rule out stealth. As a result, they need viable soldiers for that setting, hence the need for sharks.

Which leads into seeing how Visser One runs an operation. While she's still a harsh commander, she tries to keep her people in line with proper leadership rather than constant threat of execution. The brain implants are effective, while also being programmed to liquefy harmlessly in the event the facility is destroyed to erase evidence, so she's also forward thinking about failure possibilities. And when she notices Marco (who bluffs the role of a Controller technician) start to get emotional, she just tells him to get his host under control and move on. In short; actually a good leader.

Until Visser Three swings by with the explicit intent to taunt her, and the two get into a shouting match while a battle royale rages around them. Also the facility is set to self-destruct. This is where Marco has to spoil it to everyone, particularly Rachel, that HEY VISSER ONE IS MY MOM DON'T KILL HER PLS. Overall a pretty okay book, and one that takes the ramifications of Yeerks controlling other Earth animals much more seriously than the prior book.
Reply With Quote
  #64  
Old 09-30-2017, 04:05 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Hm. Haven't really earned that "war is hell" tag yet, have we?

Book 16: The Warning has another cheesy start like the books lately have been accustomed to. Jake chances across a Web Access America chatroom dedicated to Yeerks, with a surprising amount of accurate information (and a few obvious Yeerks trying to sucker people into doing things like joining the Sharing. Course, even twenty years ago the Internet was a hive of misinformation. The crew tries to find a way to get the real names of everyone in the chat, which requires an airplane flight to WAA's main servers.

So far, their fly morphs have been pretty reliable stealth morphs, but the first thing to go wrong this book is that Jake gets swatted. I'll spare you the details, but the segment legit reads like a war memoir of someone who saw a guy get blown apart. This puts everyone, but especially Cassie, on edge and highly unwilling to go fly unless absolutely necessary. So they're forced to come up with another way to get the info they're after. They eventually settle on "nobody can ignore a grizzly doing janitor work". This not only works, but an entire server room full of techs doesn't think they're Andalite bandits doing something stupid. Occasionally they take risks like this, but this is the first instance where a large amount of people just let it happen. Weird!

Among the usernames they find out are a nine-year-old kid who fears his dad's a Controller, and the founder of WAA, Joe Bob Fenestre. Feeling like he needs to act the part of a decisive leader, Jake assigns Fenestre as the higher priority. This proves a mistake, as Fenestre's mansion is so paranoid-secure that even a roach couldn't get in, literally. Rachel and Ax get captured in about ten seconds and everyone else bails to berate Jake for being a bad leader. He comes up with a plan B: SCREW STEALTH, I'M A RHINO.

Eventually they make it to Fenestre, who seems oddly detached for a guy behind about fifty-billion layers of security (but no actual Yeerks). Turns out his Yeerk, Esplin Nine-Four-Double-Six, was expecting an assassination attempt from his twin brother, Visser Three. See, Esplin the Lesser is a clever guy, and there was no law of Seerow's Kindness to keep him from getting mad cash by inventing WAA. But Visser Three doesn't like being upstaged, so he exiled Esplin the Lesser without Kandrona. In that dire state, he found out a way to stay alive: Yeerk cannibalism, using his chatroom to catch and pick off victims.

Cassie, horrified at this disrespect for life (host and Yeerk alike) tries to kill him, but Jake lets him live as long as he stays in his home. They rescue Rachel and Ax, but about a day later (after Cassie goes on her own to tell the nine-year-old not to trust his dad) Fenestre's mansion is burned down. Moreover, it's never explained who did it. Jake fully admits that even he or Cassie could be the culprit.

The end! No moral.
Reply With Quote
  #65  
Old 09-30-2017, 04:27 PM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,007
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalir View Post
plan B: SCREW STEALTH, I'M A RHINO.
Can not fault this line of reasoning.
Reply With Quote
  #66  
Old 09-30-2017, 07:53 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Let's explore more alternatives of Yeerk nutrition in Book 17: The Underground! Keeping that tone happy, we begin with Rachel saving a guy from committing suicide by eagle-catching him as he leapt from an office building. This guy, George Edelman, gets promptly committed to a mental hospital for this, although his family attests that he's already been mentally unstable, claiming to have slugs in his brain.

Upon investigating, Rachel learns that Edelman's Yeerk no longer requires Kandrona rays and can stay in his head indefinitely. Only problem is that the Yeerk can barely control themselves, and start him screaming nonsense in alien languages roughly every five minutes or so. Turns out that the drug that inhibited this guy's Yeerk is none other than instant maple-ginger oatmeal. Even a small dose can sustain a Yeerk until the end of their natural lifespan, at the cost of rendering them completely bonkers.

On the one hand, this is a very powerful weapon they can use against the Yeerks. On the other hand, addicting Yeerks to a drug roughly equivalent to heroin is definitely on the darker end of the moral spectrum. There's also the concern of how to get the oatmeal to the Yeerks, since heightened security measures have rendered the usual methods of entering the Yeerk pool suicidal. The group decides to answer this by making a mole tunnel over the pool and sending in an oatmeal drip. HEROISM.

Unfortunately, moles aren't meant for tunneling long straight distances to specific subterranean locations. The group ends up tunneling to an adjacent bat cave, and just go "eh" and switch to bat for recon. As is becoming the norm, the heightened security gets half of them captured and forces the other half to go to silly lengths for stealth. Ironically, Rachel's human form blends in perfectly, granting her an opportunity to hear about the contraband oatmeal the Yeerks have been confiscating nearby. Chemical weapons, ho!

Visser Three turns up basically immediately, which leads to a standoff: Rachel, Marco and Cassie get a drum of oatmeal into the pool and tell Visser Three to release them all, or they shoot the drum and condemn five hundred Yeerks to madness. Unfortunately, this is exactly the kind of bet Visser Three would take, so Rachel attempts to improvise by throwing him in the pool and causing a cave-in. Also five hundred Yeerks get addicted to oatmeal.

This is a weird, but good, book, and it really starts driving the idea that there are no heroes in a war, only victims. Victims of instant maple-ginger oatmeal addiction.
Reply With Quote
  #67  
Old 09-30-2017, 08:19 PM
Teaspoon's Avatar
Teaspoon Teaspoon is offline
This way up
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Here, there and everywhere
Posts: 3,792
Default

this

this is actually a pretty hardcore series, isn't it
Reply With Quote
  #68  
Old 10-01-2017, 12:37 AM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

hahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Book 18: The Decision starts off pretty mundane, even if Ax's intro mentions a few really weird things like the Ascalin incident and the war on Leera. What does that mean? Who knows! Hewlett Aldershot III, a Secret Service agent, done got hit by a car and he's in a coma in a hospital off the grid! A body like that could be very handy, to either the Yeerks (once they resolve that whole coma thing) or the Animorphs (once they acquire him).

Since the hospital's under constant surveillance, the crew decides to employ a loophole of DNA-acquisition and go for mosquitos to suck the poor dude's blood. Just one problem: remember how when you morph something small, your excess mass is extruded into a section of Z-space? Well, turns out that if you have enough mass out there, that's where your consciousness goes. If they weren't close enough to an Andalite Dome ship for Ax to call for help, they'd be dead due to a freak accident of morphing tech.

Upon rescue, Ax finds himself under questioning by Captain Samilin-Corrath-Gahar, ship physician Coaldwin-Ashuk-Tahaylik and tactical officer Hareli-Frodlin-Siriniul. In addition to revolutionizing the knowledge of how morphing works, he also has to explain how a bunch of rando aliens from some Yeerk-contested planet have morphing power, but do it on the way to this other Yeerk-contested planet, Leera.

You might recall Leera as the planet with the psychic amphibians, right? Well, since the whole shark project fell through, the Yeerks are instead hoping to establish themselves on the sole dry continent on Leera to stage an open war. Most of the Leerans live just offshore of the continent, so the Yeerks are vying for control of the space around the planet and the continent. Only Ax is privy to this information, on account of the ol' Seerow's Kindness. Hareli even makes a point of saying to Ax <hey just so we're clear, we're not expecting to win an undersea fight because we don't work well with other species, HINT HINT>.

This casual racism gets interrupted by Captain Samilin interrupting everyone just as the fight begins by severing Hareli's tail and killing the entire bridge crew, revealing he is a traitor to the Yeerks (although not a Controller, he is still Andalite all the way through). Fortunately, the human Animorphs plus Tobias decided that sitting still while the Andalites went all elven at them was lame and dumb and buy enough time for Hareli to kill Samilin before he does too much damage. He ejects them out and brings the Dome ship into the Yeerk space force in a suicidal glory rush.

To make matters worse, as they hurry over to where the Andalite force commander is stationed, Animorphs keep vanishing from existence! Eventually they get to the commander, Prince Galuit-Enolin-Esgarrouth, who gets right to the point and proves considerably more willing to work with humans. The point is: THEY RIGGED THE CONTINENT TO EXPLODE WITH QUANTUM BOMBS. Taking out that many Yeerk forces will basically leave them without a route to attack the Leeran cities.

They also figure out that the whole Z-space morph shenanigans that got the Animorphs here has a rubber band effect that will snap them back to their reality eventually. Which makes them great candidates for a suicide mission to literally blow up a continent. And then they do, learning about how to free Leeran-Controllers (just bite off their back brain its fine) and about how to coexist as different species.

I like this book it's pretty good. Most of the Ax books are, it seems.
Reply With Quote
  #69  
Old 10-01-2017, 03:40 AM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,007
Default

Our Heroes sure... Commit a lot of war-crimes.
Reply With Quote
  #70  
Old 10-01-2017, 07:45 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Whoops, time for a Megamorphs book! And with a title like "In the Time of Dinosaurs", we're surely just in for some wilderness survival and awesome giant dino fights, right? No horrible wars or anything?

Hahahaha! Haha. Ha...

Premise is simple enough: a nuclear submarine's sunken off the coast of Hometown, and they aren't even in it to fight any Yeerks this time, it's pretty much "let's help with the rescue operation". Only problem is, large explosions are pretty hairy at close range, especially within the context of spacetime as posited by the Animorphs. Remember Book 11: The Forgotten, how a laser clash sent them back about half a day? Well, this nuke manages to blast them all clear the hell to the late Cretaceous Era.

The first part of the book is really all what you'd expect: Tobias and Rachel get separated (by being eaten by a Kronosaurus) and everyone is stranded and trying to lay low in an extremely hostile environment. They pretty much can't do anything until they acquire apex morphs like T-rex and Deinonychus, and until then they're in a lot of trouble. Tobias even gets his wing broken (and it doesn't heal up from morphing because plot tension reasons).

But SURPRISE: other civilizations existed back in those days! Specifically, two migrant species from other planets, the Nesk and the Mercora. The Nesk are basically just hyperintelligent ants who consider everything they see to belong to them (and thus have boatloads of stolen tech, which they assemble into forms to use) while the Mercora are peaceful crab-people that farm broccoli (legitimately, they imported it from their destroyed homeworld). The Nesk would love to exterminate the Mercora, but their defensive (but not offensive) tech is without equal, so they're in a standoff.

This is a huge surprise to everyone, but it gives them a way to return to their own time. Again, recreating the conditions of a Sario Rip will collapse it, returning everyone to their original time. Only problem is, the Mercora's tech is all based in farming and shielding, and the Nesk don't play nice. Borrowing some aid from the Mercora, the Animorphs break into the Nesk camp (as apex dinos, of course) and steal a nuke-tier explosive to fix things, and in the process get the Nesk to flee the planet. The Mercora are totally happy and grateful about this, as are the Animorphs who haven't yet clued into how this is going to play out.

You see, there's been a comet in space nearby Earth, but it's slated to miss the planet. That is, until the Nesk say "if we can't have Earth NEITHER CAN YOU" and divert its course. The Mercora's only shot at survival is using the stolen nuke to deflect the comet away, so the Animorphs have to give away their only shot at returning to their own time to save the Mercora. Except PSYCHE: Tobias and Ax figured out that the comet has to hit to keep the timeline where humans evolve intact, so they pass the Mercora a dud and doom an entirely innocent and chill race of crab people to extinction.

Oh those wacky prehistoric adventures!
Reply With Quote
  #71  
Old 10-01-2017, 11:21 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serephine View Post
Would it be completely out of line to ask you to dredge up the amazing cover art for these? If people aren't familiar with the cover art for these please do yourself a favor and look them up.

Also this thread continues to be a treasure.
I'm using this blog to cross-reference anything I might miss in the books for the write-ups. They have all the covers but they also have their own generally jank MST commentary too.
Reply With Quote
  #72  
Old 10-01-2017, 11:25 PM
Mightyblue's Avatar
Mightyblue Mightyblue is offline
Are You Sure About That?
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Somewhere cold. And frosty.
Posts: 21,113
Default

say wut (I think I tapped out as a kid at book #12)
Reply With Quote
  #73  
Old 10-02-2017, 02:26 AM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,007
Default

This series does have some pretty impressive world-building with a wide variety of distinctive and interesting species in it.

And then our heroes murder them.
Reply With Quote
  #74  
Old 10-02-2017, 02:01 PM
BEAT's Avatar
BEAT BEAT is online now
💀S☠K💀E☠L💀E☠T💀O☠N💀
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SKELETON HELL.
Posts: 22,197
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serephine View Post
Would it be completely out of line to ask you to dredge up the amazing cover art for these?
Kalir is a good person, who has taken it upon himself to provide informative and entertaining summaries of these books for our reading pleasure! It would be wrong to force him to sully his eloquent and gripping presentation by demanding that he dredge up a bunch of needless images just so that we might point and laugh at them like a bunch of rubes!

That is not the work of an esteemed scholar like Kalir! Why, if anyone were to do it, I'd rather it be a known Jackass, one easily overlooked and most likely already blocked by most civil readers of this forum, who's moronic cries of "OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT LOL wouldn't detract from Kalir's wonderful work.

But who? Who among us is that much of a shitposter?

WHO?

Last edited by BEAT; 10-02-2017 at 03:13 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #75  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:09 PM
BEAT's Avatar
BEAT BEAT is online now
💀S☠K💀E☠L💀E☠T💀O☠N💀
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SKELETON HELL.
Posts: 22,197
Default BEAT IS THAT MUCH OF A SHITPOSTER.

BEAT PROUDLY PRESENTS
THE ANIMORPHS COVERS: REVIEWED
OH MY GOD LOOK AT THIS BULLSHIT LOL

BOOKS 1-5

BOOK ONE: SOME PEOPLE NEVER CHANGE. SOME DO...

We're off to an incredibly strong start here, as EVERY SINGLE TRANSITION face is exactly the kind of insane I crave! They're all so fucked up and weird-lookin, I'm spoiled for choice! but If I could have only one, it would be this bad boy right here.


Aww yeah that's the stuff. COVER GRADE: A++

BOOK TWO: NO ONE KNOWS WHO THEY ARE.

Massive step down in quality compared to Book one. I realize it's unreasonable to demand that they knock it out of the park every single time, but to go from "FUCKED UP LIZARDMANG'S WONDERFUL MOUTHVENTURE" To "3 drawings of catgirls" is a tremendous letdown. COVER GRADE: F

BOOK THREE: NOW YOU SEE THEM, NOw YOU DON'T...

I mean, it's better than 3 Drawings of catgirls, but nothing here grabs me with sheer "OMG THIS IS SO FUCKED UP" joy. Feels like he just jumps straight from "Slightly photoshopped human" to "slightly photoshopped hawk".* Passable I guess. COVER GRADE: C-
*I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW IF PHOTOSHOP EXISTED IN 1996. P SURE THIS WAS ACTUALLY DONE IN KIA'S POWER GOO (ASK YOUR PARENTS).

BOOK FOUR: SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CHANGE A LITTLE MORE THAN YOUR MIND...

Now this is more like it! Admittedly, no single transitional image is anywhere near as good as anything proudly displayed on the cover of Book one, but it's hardly Book Four's fault that Book One set bar far far too high. It's unreasonable to demand an entire party platter of HOLY MOTHER OF FUCKER every single time when a single serving of AHAHA OH MY GOD is all the nourishment we need.


You delivered where it counts, Book Four. Well done. COVER GRADE: B

BOOK FIVE: WHAT YOU SEE ISN'T ALWAYS WHAT YOU GET....

Boring, but I don't really think that's Book Five's fault. I mean, there's just not that much to work with when you're starting with a primate and ending with a primate. I appreciate that all three gorilla boy faces seem equal amounts disappointed and apologetic. I accept your apology, gorilla boy. Just try to do better next time. COVER GRADE: C+

TO BE CONTINUED... WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT...ASSUMING KALIR DOESN'T TELL ME TO QUIT MY SHIT... WHICH HE WOULD BE TOTALLY RIGHT TO DO.

Last edited by BEAT; 10-03-2017 at 12:46 PM. Reason: UPDATED THE BOOKS WITH THE CORRECT TITLES LOL WHAT'S THAT 4TH DOT DOING IN BOOK FIVE'S TITLE THAT'S NOT HOW ELLIPSIS WORKS.
Reply With Quote
  #76  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:23 PM
muteKi's Avatar
muteKi muteKi is offline
an eeling of Christmas
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Green chile cheeseburger capital of the world
Posts: 9,912
Default

special shout-out to the final iguana render of book one which answers my question of "would unagi look less fucked-up if it had been made with more polygons"

(the answer is no)
Reply With Quote
  #77  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:30 PM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,007
Default

Jake and Rachel seem five years younger and older than every other character, respectively.

Also she seems to be the only one drawn as opposed to horribly photo-manipulated.
Reply With Quote
  #78  
Old 10-02-2017, 04:24 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
put the mind control into the country music

I didn't bring a book to work today and work is actually going to be busy enough that I won't have enough downtime to read anyway, so feel free to analyze covers up to where the thread is. I recommend Book 18.
Reply With Quote
  #79  
Old 10-02-2017, 05:17 PM
rogue's Avatar
rogue rogue is offline
Half-Ninja
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,238
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
BOOK 5: THE PREDATOR
Is it just me, or does that kid look like a young Carlos Valdes, AKA the guy who plays Cisco Ramon on The Flash?
Reply With Quote
  #80  
Old 10-02-2017, 05:22 PM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,007
Default

Glad it's not just me.
Reply With Quote
  #81  
Old 10-02-2017, 05:31 PM
Rascally Badger's Avatar
Rascally Badger Rascally Badger is online now
This Guy
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Hell, Earth
Posts: 9,130
Default

I want to know exactly how cool that decal inside was. Actually, if I looked I'm sure I have it somewhere, because I was really into this series until about book 20.
Reply With Quote
  #82  
Old 10-02-2017, 10:54 PM
BEAT's Avatar
BEAT BEAT is online now
💀S☠K💀E☠L💀E☠T💀O☠N💀
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SKELETON HELL.
Posts: 22,197
Default

BOOKS 6-10

BOOK SIX: NOW, HE'S ONE OF THEM....


BEEEEEEES!!


BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!! COVER GRADE: A-

BOOK SEVEN: THIS TIME THERE MAY BE NO WAY OUT....

While I appreciate the cover artist's intent, but the sad fact of the matter is, beargirl just doesn't look fucked up enough! They tried really hard on the middle face, and her mouth slowly opening as she BEARIFIES is a nice touch, but I'm sorry it's just not doing it for me. COVER GRADE: B-

SIDE STORY: MEGAMORPHS ONE: THE ANDALITE'S GIFT.

This is dog shit. I would have assumed that the first "Special" book outside the main numbered series would have a little EXTRA put in, but no! Nothing! You don't deserve the name "MEGA" with this trash! Get the fuck out of here, jackass! COVER GRADE: F

BOOK EIGHT: HE'S ONLY HUMAN. WHEN HE WANTS TO BE....

You'd think the one where the guy's turning into a goddamn blue Centaur monster would be one of the more interesting ones, but nope. It' the face, I think. The blue alien's face is too human. All the transition just looks like a human face frowning a little bit. COVER GRADE: C

BOOK NINE: NO PLACE TO RUN. NO PLACE TO HIDE...

I was all set to give this one another C, but then I took a closer look at the second face on the hilariously low-rez scan I grabbed off wikipedia.


And I was like ehhh... yeah okay. COVER GRADE: B-

BOOK TEN: FEAR HAS A NEW NAME.... YEERK.

NOW WE'RE COOKIN WITH GAS! IN most of these you're lucky if you get one really good fucked up face, but this one generously gives us a fucked up everything! I love how in the third image he's still got his normal human legs complete with white tennis shoes, and they just sort of threw the spider legs in front of it like eh close enough. That's the sort of stuff I'm looking for here!


AND OH MAN THE FUCKED UP FACE! I'm really sorry they dropped the Bunch of bad 90s CGI models torn between human and animal look of the first book for wierd photo merging, but this is the good shit right here. More like this. COVER GRADE: A+

Last edited by BEAT; 10-03-2017 at 12:49 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #83  
Old 10-02-2017, 11:32 PM
muteKi's Avatar
muteKi muteKi is offline
an eeling of Christmas
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Green chile cheeseburger capital of the world
Posts: 9,912
Default

I dunno, I have a deeper fondness for this one



because I look at it and think "fuck, now I want to play some altered beast"
in fact, the altered beast bear is just too cuddly



dude looks like he fell off the back of the gund shipping truck
Reply With Quote
  #84  
Old 10-03-2017, 12:51 AM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Y'know, so far it seems like Cassie's gotten more than her fair share of bland filler books. LET'S FIX THAT!

Book 19: The Departure starts mid-fight, at a recon of the Sharing gone slightly hairy. Thankfully, the Animorphs have the upper hand this fight, and are able to rout their enemies without most of the people there having a party noticing. But when he calls for the retreat, Cassie, in wolf form, is still mangling some Hork-Bajir Controller to bits. That good ol' split between the human and wolf mind keeps her in the fight for long enough to kill them.

And with that, Cassie's had it. One fight too many for her. It's not the feeling of horror at ending another life, although that's not helping matters. No, what really puts her off so badly is noticing that that feeling is going away. Little by little, their guerrilla warfare is deadening them all to the value of life, and that fight is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Chapter 1 of this book has Cassie quitting the Animorphs.

Everyone else takes this very badly, not least because this is a huge war they have to fight and they need all the help they can get, but also because they view this as Cassie betraying them all. Rachel and Marco take it particularly poorly, with the former treating Cassie's actions as a condemnation of her own, and the latter just thinking that she's being stupid for the sake of idealism. Tobias and Ax don't say much, but Jake does: under no circumstances is she to try morphing.

So yeah, let's read a book about an ordinary girl who doesn't morph and whose family has lost funding for the Wildlife Rehabilitation Center! This news comes at exactly the wrong time, and Cassie just kind of goes through the motions of life without really doing anything but feeling awful. Something needs to happen to shake this up... like a girl that's spying on her being chased by a bear! Cassie saddles up and comes to the girl's rescue, but her mare's panicking strands both of them in the forest.

Turns out this girl, Karen, was spying on Cassie since the fight at the Sharing. And that Hork-Bajir she killed? Whoops, their Yeerk was Karen's Yeerk's brother! (Biology tangent: Yeerks breed by having three existing Yeerks fuse, then split off into a bunch of grubs. The parents die in the process, of course.) So now Cassie is in the wilderness with a Controller who absolutely knows who she is and what she's doing. As an Animorph, the correct solution would be to kill her before she can report back... but Cassie can't bring herself to do it. Instead, she helps this injured Controller through the wilderness, avoiding the dangers within including an escaped leopard.

This is also the first time we get the viewpoint of a Yeerk who DOESN'T want to just climb the ranks of the Yeerk empire. Aftran Nine-Four-Two holds no love for the Andalites (with the exception of Seerow) but she doesn't really want to go to war with them. She's tired of the fighting almost as much as Cassie is, and mostly just wishes that the Yeerks could experience all that life has to offer. Yeerks in their default state are blind, but by controlling other species, they can see, and Aftran considers the Andalites to be unjustly punishing the Yeerks for simply wanting to live the same life that many other sapient species get.

Eventually, when fighting off a leopard attack, Marco arrives as cavalry. Of course, he doesn't share Cassie's sentiment of willing to leave Aftran/Karen alive. Aftran taunts him by remarking that predators like humans don't have a lot of leeway to criticize the way of a parasite's life. The argument between the three of them gets pretty heated until Cassie makes a huge sacrifice: in order to give Karen a chance to speak her mind and live freely, she offers herself as a host to Aftran.

Like, just take a second to consider the weight of that. Marco leaves to report to Jake that hey, we miiiight need to kill your girlfriend now, because if we don't, the Yeerks will hunt all of us down and brainslug each and every one of us, end of story. Rachel gives him a proper decking for this, but he has a point from a purely pragmatic standpoint. Thankfully, Aftran and Cassie's wandering in the forest built enough trust between the two that she mostly just spent some time exploring in osprey form. She even mislead some Yeerks hunting the Animorphs down with the "Andalite bandits" line.

Eventually, they land and Aftran regains control of Karen to make her point. If Cassie really wants her to not claim a human host again, and to live blind, she has to do the same. Aftran challenges her to acquire a caterpillar's DNA, morph it, and stay locked in that form for two hours, becoming a nothlit. At this point, though, Cassie has already made a bunch of huge risks just to try to stop at least a tiny bit of the fighting, so she takes on this challenge too. Aftran tries calling to her near the end of the two hours, saying she's convinced and that Cassie doesn't have to go through with it all the way... but caterpillars have pretty poor hearing.

At this point, the book switches to Jake's perspective, when they encounter Karen/Aftran standing over Cassie's chrysalis. They are horribly distraught over what has occurred, and Ax and Rachel even swear to kill her themselves. However, when the leopard shows up one more time to finish Karen off, Marco catches it off-guard in gorilla form, saving Karen despite what he said about Aftran earlier. Eventually, the group decides to let her go, although less because they want to spare Aftran and more because they want to honor Cassie's sacrifice.

Thankfully, the status quo and Aftran's conscience are eventually restored once Cassie emerges as a butterfly, as Ax posits that this natural morphing may very well reset the timer, allowing Cassie to return to human form. The book ends on Cassie meeting up with a now-free Karen, who repaid Cassie's kindness by asking her banker dad to get the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic enough money to stay in business.

Congratulations, Cassie, you got one of the best books in the series.
Reply With Quote
  #85  
Old 10-03-2017, 08:49 AM
BEAT's Avatar
BEAT BEAT is online now
💀S☠K💀E☠L💀E☠T💀O☠N💀
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SKELETON HELL.
Posts: 22,197
Default

BOOKS 11-15

BOOK ELEVEN: NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS....


Eh. COVER GRADE: C-

BOOK TWELVE: TRUST NO ONE....

THAAAASSS MOAR LIEK IT! The reaction is a great demonstration of my favorite two elements of these covers: fucked up heads, and halfassed detail work.


"What are we gonna do with her hair?" "Just make it scale-colored who cares." Gorgeous. Sadly it loses points for the one that comes immediatly before that transition. They could have made that one a LOT more fucked up. COVER GRADE: B+

BOOK THIRTEEN: BE AFRAID....

Quote:
Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
nothing here grabs me with sheer "OMG THIS IS SO FUCKED UP" joy. Feels like he just jumps straight from "Slightly photoshopped human" to "slightly photoshopped hawk".* Passable I guess.
YOU'RE REHASHING TOBIAS! COVER GRADE: D

SIDE STORY: THE ANDALITE CHRONICLES: BEFORE THE ANIMORPHS... THERE WAS ELFANGOR.

This is just a prog-rock album cover. COVER GRADE: F

BOOK FOURTEEN: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF A MORPH....

Okay so, a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face". Ahahahahaha COVER GRADE: D

BOOK FIFTEEN: THE YERKS ARE OUT THERE....

FINALLY another really good one! We're operating at peak fucked-up head for almost all the phases, but extra credit must be given to Almost-shark's little tiny pink noodle arms. That's the kinda "Fuck it who cares" additude I want from my cover artists! Job well done COVER GRADE: A+

Last edited by BEAT; 10-03-2017 at 12:58 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #86  
Old 10-03-2017, 10:25 AM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

Oh snap.

I was gonna just do book 20 and then go to the Hork-Bajir Chronicles, but I forgot something important.

Book 20 marks the start of the David Trilogy.

Buckle in, kiddos.
Reply With Quote
  #87  
Old 10-03-2017, 10:28 AM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
Programmed to Jingle
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 43,007
Default

"Never Underestimate the power of a morph"

Oh man, that is poetry
Reply With Quote
  #88  
Old 10-03-2017, 11:01 AM
Westerhof's Avatar
Westerhof Westerhof is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 288
Default

Yeah, BEAT, you can't grade covers without factoring in the inane, quasi-portentous taglines.
Reply With Quote
  #89  
Old 10-03-2017, 12:55 PM
BEAT's Avatar
BEAT BEAT is online now
💀S☠K💀E☠L💀E☠T💀O☠N💀
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: SKELETON HELL.
Posts: 22,197
Default

What taglines?

Did I not transcribe all the titles properly?
Reply With Quote
  #90  
Old 10-03-2017, 01:30 PM
Kalir's Avatar
Kalir Kalir is offline
I have a Plan
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Utah
Posts: 6,167
Default

So, in the aftermath of Elfangor's crash, the blue box that he used to give everyone the power to morph just kinda vanished inexplicably. I guess everyone presumed it destroyed. Well, let's clear that misunderstanding up!

Book 20: The Discovery begins with Marco hitting on girls, badly. But that comes to a screeching halt when he sees a new kid in school just carrying around the blue box (Escafil Device) like it ain't no thang. Obviously he's not a Yeerk, otherwise he wouldn't be showing it off trying to make friends, but this still paints a target on his head the size of my spaghetti servings. And I eat lots of spaghetti. Marco's brain crashes in about eight directions as he tries to convince this kid, David, to hand him the Escafil Device, but it's a no-go.

Realizing they NEED to get that cube from him, Rachel and Marco try to fly in as birds to steal it from him, only to get chased off by his cat Megadeth (yes, really) and David himself wielding a BB gun. The good news is that this event gives David a conversation piece when he tries to befriend Marco later, saying he plans to sell the box online. Even got himself a buyer already, and David offers Marco a ten percent cut to help out. David's response is timed to be sent out just before he gets home from school, which means Marco suddenly has to skip his last two classes and prevent Visser Three from definitively knowing the location of the Escafil Device.

This is one of those missions where everything that can go wrong, does. David's computer is set an hour fast on account of him traveling constantly, since his dad works in the NSA. Speaking of, he shows up at home before David in response to the burglar alarm the Animorphs trip, forcing Marco to use David's pet cobra Spawn (yes, really) as cover. While fighting the cobra instincts, he poisons Ax, forcing him to demorph in front of David's dad. Oh, and Visser Three shows up in response to the email about a minute after David does. This leads into a battle royale with the full crew, with David's family in the way, in his bedroom, which is absolutely not big enough to host a 16-alien-and-animal brawl. When David offers Visser Three the Escafil Device in order to spare his family, Rachel beartackles him out the window.

The end result is that David is suddenly without a family, and is pretty much a dead man walking... unless the Animorphs induct him into their group with the Escafil Device. On the one hand, they are hopelessly outnumbered, and it's not fair to just send David back out to die. On the other hand, they barely know anything about David, and what little they do know isn't especially promising. Adding an unknown factor to their group dynamic could easily blow the whole thing. Eventually, though, they decide to add him proper.

Oh right, there's a mission they got from Erek, too. Something nice and low-stakes, like oh I dunno, protecting a meeting of world leaders gathering at the Marriott nearby from Yeerk infestation. Perfect mission to bring a newbie on, right? Yeah, about that. David gets off on the wrong foot with the team, tests out his golden eagle morph by killing a crow (not because he lost control of the morph so much as that he wanted to see that he could) and gives everyone's position away when they sneak onto the President's copter. The only good news is that they leave the President uninfested. The bad news is that Visser Three instead acquires his DNA, because being able to literally turn into the standing President on demand is pretty powerful (bear in mind these books were written in a much earlier time).

The book ends really abruptly with a "to be continued" as the team falls from the chopper in roach morph. Really, it's just setting the stakes of the mission and introducing us all to David. And what we've seen so far... well, if this was Earthbound, David would be Pokey. At best, he's an annoying jerk. At worst, he could be a seriously dangerous enemy. This book is the first part of a trilogy, so we'll see how that turns out, won't we?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
anda-light novels , animorphs , body horror for kids , brain slugs , crocobear , cronenberg's creatures , teens with attitude , war is hell , worst space horse

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Your posts İyou, 2007