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  #481  
Old 02-05-2019, 11:35 AM
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1. Can you fly, Bobby?

WUT

2. When was your last haircut?

About two weeks ago.

3. What kind of alternate reality would you like to visit?

One where I'm an eternally horny, attractive, delightful 21-year-old man but I also contain the knowledge of all four-so's across the multiverse.

4. What's your old West cowboy outlaw name?

Shooter McShootin, fastest draw in the bedroom

5. Which is your favourite pantheon?

Well, the Greek pantheon is gloriously fucked up from every angle, so I'll go with that.

6. If you could switch minds with anyone, who would it be?

If I switched minds with someone, I'd effectively become someone else entirely and, depending of the level of Freaky Friday here, I might not even be aware of it at all. I mean, do I inhabit the other person's body like a parasite? Do I get to take control of that body? Is there a time limit, or can the mind swap happen at will? Doesn't this open up all kinds of moral and ethical issues, like committing crimes as the other person or participating in effective adultery?

Anyway, the obvious answer is Tom Berenger.
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  #482  
Old 02-05-2019, 11:39 AM
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1. Can you fly, Bobby?
???

2. When was your last haircut?
I'M STILL PRETTY SKINHEAD, SO LIKE, 2 WEEKS BACK AT MOST?

3. What kind of alternate reality would you like to visit?
BONE ZONE.

4. What's your old West cowboy outlaw name?
BEAT.

5. Which is your favourite pantheon?
MINE

6. If you could switch minds with anyone, who would it be?
IF MY MIND... WAS SOMEONE ELSE'S... THEN I'D BE... THAT PERSON?
WAIT WHAT
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  #483  
Old 02-11-2019, 05:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. Can you fly, Bobby?
2. When was your last haircut?
3. What kind of alternate reality would you like to visit?
4. What's your old West cowboy outlaw name?
5. Which is your favourite pantheon?
6. If you could switch minds with anyone, who would it be?
1.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
1. Not if I burnt the fuckin’ MONEY!
This guy gets it.
2. Probably a month and a half ago. I don't feel like I'm due, though.
3. A more loving one. Or one with better Indian food in my hometown.
4. Mr. Shooty
5. I'm old school and grew up with the Greek pantheon. Sorry Romans, that's just the Greek with a new slap of paint.
6. I could say someone like Trump and let myself get arrested for his crimes and bring everyone else with him but then my family would be stuck with a villain. So instead, maybe someone who I would trust to take good care of my life if I could take good care of theirs.
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  #484  
Old 02-11-2019, 05:18 AM
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1. Have you ever been to a quinceañera?
2. Hey, Moe. Whatsa matter? You no talka with your accent no more.
3. If you went to Japan, where would you like to visit?
4. If you had 3 wishes, what would the last one be?
5. What's a good name for a superhero team?
6. What is your favourite little kid versions of characters who aren't originally little kids?
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  #485  
Old 02-11-2019, 06:08 AM
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1. Have you ever been to a quinceañera?
YEAH WHEN I WAS LIKE 14.
IT WAS... REALLY BAD.

2. Hey, Moe. Whatsa matter? You no talka with your accent no more.
WHO?

3. If you went to Japan, where would you like to visit?
HELLO, JAPAN? YES, CONNECT ME TO GODZILLA, PLEASE.

4. If you had 3 wishes, what would the last one be?
BASICALLY JUST A LIST OF WAYS JEFF BEZOS'S MONEY SHOULD BE IMMEDIATELY SPENT.

5. What's a good name for a superhero team?
THE BREWS.

6. What is your favourite little kid versions of characters who aren't originally little kids?
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE YOU TO TINY FUPPETS.
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  #486  
Old 02-11-2019, 06:41 AM
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1. Have you ever been to a quinceañera?
Nope!

2. Hey, Moe. Whatsa matter? You no talka with your accent no more.
Mama Mia!

3. If you went to Japan, where would you like to visit?
Man, so many places, but honestly, I think priority #1 would be a really good hole-in-the-wall curry place.

4. If you had 3 wishes, what would the last one be?
I am unclear on what the other 2 wishes add to this question. Is the assumption that I wished for obvious things like world peace already? Anyway, the answer is immortality. Sci-fi likes to explore the idea that an infinite life would be a hell that would eventually cost a person their sanity, but death fucking terrifies me, so I'm willing to take that chance! Maybe I'd finally have time to play all my video games! (Nah.)

5. What's a good name for a superhero team?
Furious Jay and the Bertolli Bears

6. What is your favourite little kid versions of characters who aren't originally little kids?
I loved Little Archie as a kid, as well as the Flintstones Kids. Ate that shit up. Loved the "chibi" aesthetic before I ever knew what it was. Speaking of, there's probably a more accurate answer to this from some anime that I'm forgetting but fuck if I can remember.
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  #487  
Old 02-11-2019, 06:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. Have you ever been to a quinceañera?
2. Hey, Moe. Whatsa matter? You no talka with your accent no more.
3. If you went to Japan, where would you like to visit?
4. If you had 3 wishes, what would the last one be?
5. What's a good name for a superhero team?
6. What is your favourite little kid versions of characters who aren't originally little kids?
1. No sir!
2. Ix-nay on the omar-may
3. BEAT had the right idea, I would like to meet Godzilla, please.
4. Pokemon to be Real
5. The Social Justice Warriors
6. Again, I agree with BEAT.
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  #488  
Old 02-11-2019, 01:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Not if I burnt the fuckin’ MONEY!
AHHH OCTO SAID A SWEAR!!
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  #489  
Old 02-11-2019, 02:18 PM
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Kurtwood Smith said a swear.

I’m just tattling on him.
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  #490  
Old 02-19-2019, 07:38 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. Have you ever been to a quinceañera?
2. Hey, Moe. Whatsa matter? You no talka with your accent no more.
3. If you went to Japan, where would you like to visit?
4. If you had 3 wishes, what would the last one be?
5. What's a good name for a superhero team?
6. What is your favourite little kid versions of characters who aren't originally little kids?
1. Nope.
2. JBear knows what' goin' down.
3. I've been before but didn't take full advantage. I went to Tokyo tower which is... fine and Akihabara (and Super Potato) but I missed my opportunity to hit some onsen and see some traditional kabuki or noh theatre.
4. If I did a bad wishing job, undo those first two wishes. If three, immortality I can opt out of.
5. The Fighting Mongooses.
6. BEAT had the best answer. And I haven't even seen the original Fuppet Show.
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  #491  
Old 02-19-2019, 07:46 AM
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1. Have you ever been to a wake?
2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?
6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
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  #492  
Old 02-19-2019, 10:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. Have you ever been to a wake?
2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?
6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
1. Yep. Not my favorite social gathering
2. Nope. handful of short stories since High School, but that’s it.
3. Build a fully functional supervillain costume in the prison work shop and make a daring escape.
4. try to meet The Doctor. The real one, not the fake on on TV
5. I don’t think I’ve seen it since the movie came out, but One Hour Photo always stuck with me. Also, that commercial for Ocarina Of Time 3D.
6. Beyoncé seems to have everything figured out. Let’s go with her.
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  #493  
Old 02-19-2019, 05:58 PM
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1. Have you ever been to a wake?
Yup. Several. Sadness + boredom is a strange combination.

2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
I’m currently trying to write a dissertation—does that count? If not, assuming a miracle occurs and I’m hired into a tenure-track position, I’ll be expected to turn the dissertation into a real, honest-to-goodness, no-ambiguity book. So there’s that.

3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
Hope really hard for my area of expertise to become absolutely necessary for some team of government super agents, so they could get me out to do one last job.

4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
So many things! Go back to the British Museum and then have tea at the London Review of Books tea shop and bookstore. Check out the National Gallery. Just generally wander around and eat lots of meals at Dishoom.

5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?
Sean Maguire in Good Will Hunting. That performance helped to convince me that I shouldn’t be afraid to go to therapy.

6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
Maybe my wife’s—I feel like I could be a better husband if I could see the word through her eyes for a while.
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  #494  
Old 02-19-2019, 06:11 PM
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1. Have you ever been to a wake?
I lasted all of 45 seconds at my Grandpa's open casket viewing before spending the rest of it out in the funeral home lobby.

2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
No, but there's a terrible FictionPress account still floating around that's got all my angsty teenage poetry on it. D:

3. If you where were in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
I don't think I would, honestly.

4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
London is pretty big... Do the Top Gear guys film there? I want to take part in some of those shenanigans.

5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?


6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
Mine, but a decade in the future.
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  #495  
Old 02-19-2019, 06:38 PM
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1. Have you ever been to a wake?
Yes.

2. Have you ever tried to write a book?

When i was a teenager, i tried to write a fantasy book inspired by Michael Ende and Robinson Crusoe. I failed. Otherwise i did wrote a thesis.

3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?

Quantum tunneling!

4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?

I don't know!

5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?

I don't think i've ever seen a movie with him.

6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?

That's a hard question. On an intellectual level, i'd love to see what is it like to think like Edward Witten. On an emotional level, so many friends and family...
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  #496  
Old 02-20-2019, 08:35 AM
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1. Have you ever been to a wake?
No, I've felt asleep my entire life. Hrm? Oh, the depressing kind. Yes, obviously? Seems kind of unlikely that anyone wouldn't have by our ages. I've been to at least a dozen, if not two dozen.

2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
Yup. Didn't make it very far, though. (It was bad.) I also did a lot of editing work on my ex-wife's unpublished novel.

3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
There wouldn't be one. Presumably I'm there for a reason, and I'd be pretty content to remain, especially if they let me read or play video games.

4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
Honestly, I think London would be pretty low on my list of vacation destinations. Big Ben, I guess? A nice, tall clock. That's a vacation spot you can set your watch by.

5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?
Awakenings, maybe? I recall really enjoying the film, at least.

6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
I don't see this as all that different from the previous question about switching minds, so my previous answer still applies: This is actually something that I like to daydream about a lot. It'd be so neat to just, like, see someone else's day... I want to experience someone else's mundane existence and see how it compares to my own. See their commute, see how they organize their fridge, etc. As for who... I dunno, someone from TT, I guess?
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  #497  
Old 02-20-2019, 09:30 AM
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Have you ever been to a wake?

Yeah... mostly for extended family members-- grandparents, aunts and uncles-- but I'm going to be hopefully celebrating my dad's 70th birthday this year, and am dreading... what's to come. I'll never be ready to say goodbye to my parents and siblings.

...Anyway...

If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?

There are people who depend on me right now. If I were in prison, with no hope of being released, then I wouldn't be able to help them anymore, so I'd just kill myself.

If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?

I'd want to, hmm... take a ride on the London Underground, visit Harrods, dine at some of the city's finest Indian restaurants, go see a play.

Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?

Good Will Hunting.

Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?

My son. I want to see the world the way he does.
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  #498  
Old 02-25-2019, 05:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. Have you ever been to a wake?
2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?
6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
1. Only one I remember is the one for my grandmother on my mother's side of the family. It was upsetting to see her in the casket, but while there were tears, everyone was sharing funny stories and it was largely a good time.
2. I used to keep planning books and short stories but I've always been bad at following through.
3. "One of these rocks in the yard has to be a magic wishing rock!"
4. I've been before and went to some of the big sites, as well as some smaller ones like Brick Lane(a great street for curry) and a museum of British cartooning. I'd definitely see more live theatre again. Oh, and maybe Electric Avenue, which, as it turns out, is a real place!
5. I don't know if One Hour Photo holds up but I remember liking it a lot.
6. Someone creative at a point of not only BEING creative, but being creative with other people, so there's lots of laughter and reports and ideas coming together.
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  #499  
Old 02-25-2019, 05:52 AM
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1. What animals need to be bigger?
2. Which fairy tale that hasn't become a Disney animated movie should become one.
3. When's the last time you had to really dress up?
4. How tall are you?
5. Would it kill you to take out the garbage?
6. Who is your favourite time traveler?
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  #500  
Old 02-25-2019, 06:40 AM
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1. What animals need to be bigger?
JUMBO CORGI

2. Which fairy tale that hasn't become a Disney animated movie should become one.
Hrm. I was actually just musing recently that Hunchback of Notre Dame was a really weird pull for a Disney film, so I don't know that I trust my own sensibilities here, but I'll say... Straw Millionaire? Or maybe The Boy Who Drew Cats? I think you'd probably have to change the ending to the latter, but I think it would be a good setup.

3. When's the last time you had to really dress up?
"Had to" is odd phrasing. A person rarely "has to" dress up. Folks can even get married in casual clothing if that's their bag! That said, I enjoy dressing up, so I'll usually take the opportunity if it presents itself. As far as events where there was social pressure to dress up, I guess my cousin's wedding was probably the last?

4. How tall are you?
6'2". I've been this tall since grade 7. I thought I was going to end up growing even taller, but then I just... stopped.

5. Would it kill you to take out the garbage?
There was a snowstorm today, so trash pick-up was suspended. That said, I still did the garbage around the house and placed it in the bin, because I'm not a goddamned monster.

6. Who is your favourite time traveler?
I love that time-travelling con man from that one TNG episode who claims to be from the future but who is actually from the past, having stolen a time machine, and is looking to return to the present with some future tech to make a quick buck in the galaxy's most convoluted get rich quick scheme.
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  #501  
Old 02-25-2019, 07:05 AM
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5. Would it kill you to take out the garbage?
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  #502  
Old 02-25-2019, 11:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. What animals need to be bigger?
2. Which fairy tale that hasn't become a Disney animated movie should become one.
3. When's the last time you had to really dress up?
4. How tall are you?
5. Would it kill you to take out the garbage?
6. Who is your favourite time traveler?
1. Jbears logic is irrefutable
2. Literally the only one I can think of is Boy Who Cried Wolf. And I don’t think it’d make a particularly good movie.
3. Halloween 2018
4. Bout 5’6. Right in the middle of average
5. I sure hope not 🤭
6. Doctor Emmet Brown
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  #503  
Old 03-03-2019, 07:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
1. What animals need to be bigger?
2. Which fairy tale that hasn't become a Disney animated movie should become one.
3. When's the last time you had to really dress up?
4. How tall are you?
5. Would it kill you to take out the garbage?
6. Who is your favourite time traveler?
1. Can't beat the corgi answer.
That said. I also like Jack Handey's idea for big shrimp you can ride and eat. "How about it, science."
2. It would probably be a hard sell but Godfather Death. But with a version that's a little more kid-friendly.
3. For a family acquaintance's birthday party. Bought a $1000 worth of fancy clothes since I lacked any.
4. 5'10.
5. Probably not.
6. Boring answer, but I'm going with the Doctor.
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  #504  
Old 03-04-2019, 08:06 AM
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1. What does it mean to be human?
2. What arcade game currently not available on a home system should be?
3. Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?
4. Which is your favourite tree?
5. Are you patient?
6. When was the last time your were stung by a bee?
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  #505  
Old 03-04-2019, 08:32 AM
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1. Two arms, two legs, torso and head in standard configuration, discounting accidents of some stripe.
2. That Luigi’s Mansion rail-shooter is a lot of fun
3. Yeah, right? That was crazy!
4. Treebeard, King Of the Ents
5. I am posting this in a one hour line wait at an amusement park
6. I was stung by a Yellowjacket as I was walking out of the theatre after a showing of Ant-Man. The irony was neither lost on me nor appreciated
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  #506  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:23 AM
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1. Have you ever been to a wake?
I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT GETTING SHITHAMMERED WITH MY COUSINS IN A HOTEL BAR AFTER MY GRANDPA'S FUNERAL, TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVED THE OLD GUY AND HOW BLESSED WE WERE TO HAVE HIM IN OUR LIVES, COUNTS.

2. Have you ever tried to write a book?
I CAN'T KEEP ANY STORY IDEA ALIVE FOR MORE THAN A PAGE AND A HALF.

3. If you where in jail with no hope of being released, what would be your escape plan?
JOIN THE PRISON BIBLE STUDY.

4. If you went to London, what would you want to see or do?
I BEEN TO LONDON. TOOK A TRAIN TO STONEHENGE, SAW BIG BEN, WENT TO THE BRITISH MUSEUM, ATE AT A BUNCH OF PUBS. SHIT WAS GREAT.

5. Which is your favourite Robin Williams performance?
THAT'S ACTUALLY A REALLY TOUGH CALL. I'M GONNA GO WITH GENIE. FUCK THE ALADDIN REBOOT.

6. Whose point of view would you like to experience for one day?
ME, BUT OLDER.
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  #507  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:29 AM
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Default PICTURE IS LINK. CLICKY CLICKY.

1. What animals need to be bigger?
ALL OF THEM. EVERY LAST FUCKIN ONE OF THEM.

2. Which fairy tale that hasn't become a Disney animated movie should become one.
THE ONE WHERE LANCELOT FUCKS KING ARTHUR'S WIFE.

3. When's the last time you had to really dress up?
BIG FANCY SHINDIG FOR MY WIFE'S BOSS'S ROTARY CLUB CHARITY EVENT.

4. How tall are you?
6 FOOT NUTHIN. OCCASIONALLY 5'11 DEPENDING ON THE DAY.

5. Would it kill you to take out the garbage?
OH MAN HAVE YOU SEEN THE GIANT MONSTER CLAW ON THE GARBAGE TRUCK? SHIT IS AWESOME AHAHAH OH MY GOD.

6. Who is your favourite time traveler?
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  #508  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:32 AM
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1. What does it mean to be human?
OF ALL THE QUESTIONS YOU'VE ASKED THIS ONE IS BY FAR THE WORST.

2. What arcade game currently not available on a home system should be?
UHHHHH... IS CRAZY TAXI A SWITCH DOWNLOAD? LIKE, WITH ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES AND PROPER SOUNDTRACK AND EVERYTHING.

3. Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness?
BINCH I INVENTED DESTROYING BEAUTIFUL WICKEDNESS.

4. Which is your favourite tree?
THE ONE IN MY BACKYARD.

5. Are you patient?
FUCK NO.

6. When was the last time your were stung by a bee?
LIKE EVERY SINGLE WEEK BACK WHEN I WAS MOWING LAWNS FOR COLLEGE MONEY.
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  #509  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by BEAT View Post
2. Which fairy tale that hasn't become a Disney animated movie should become one.
THE ONE WHERE LANCELOT FUCKS KING ARTHUR'S WIFE.
WAIT SHIT I TAKE THIS ONE BACK.

BEOWULF.

MAKE A FUCKING DISNEY ANIMATED MOVIE ABOUT FUCKING BEOWULF. THE WHOLE 3 ACT DEAL. GRENDLE, GRENDLE'S MOTHER AND THE DRAGON. COMPLETE DISNEY TREATMENT, WITH SONGS AND DANCES AND NONHUMAN COMIC SIDEKICKS AND THE DRAGON GETTING A BIG VILLAIN SONG ABOUT HOW HE WAS THE ONE WHO SENT GRENDLE TO KILL THAT TOWN AND HOW MUCH HE LOVES BEING BAD AND EVERYTHING.

AND THEY SHOULD DISNEY-SANITIZE THE HELL OUT OF IT. FULL 90'S DISNEY TREATMENT. NO ONSCREEN BLOOD, NO GRENDLE GETTING HIS ARM RIPPED OUT, ALL THE MAJOR DEATHS TAKE PLACE BY THE CHARACTER FALLING OFF A TALL THING INTO OFFSCREENLAND, DRAGON DOESN'T KILL BEOWULF AT THE END, THE FUCKING WORKS.

THEN A FEW YEARS LATER YOU CAN DO THE "LIVE ACTION (REALLY JUST A SHITLOAD OF GREENSCREENS AND CGI) REMAKE, THAT'S JUST A COMPLETELY STRAIGHT, ULTRA-BRUTAL ADAPTATION OF JOHN GARDENER'S GRENDLE.
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  #510  
Old 03-04-2019, 11:49 AM
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TRICK A BOATLOAD OF PARENTS INTO TAKING THEIR KIDS TO A MOVIE WHERE THE "PROTAGONIST" IS A MONSTER THAT ENDLESSLY RAIDS A HUMAN SETTLEMENT, MEETS A DRAGON WHO TELLS HIM OF THE FUTILITY OF EXISTENCE IN AN ACID TRIP, THEN GETS GRAPHICALLY AND BRUTALLY MURDERED BY AN IMPOSSIBLY STRONG MONSTER MAN, COWARDS!
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