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  #241  
Old 11-15-2018, 09:41 AM
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This is one of the worst things I've ever seen.
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  #242  
Old 11-15-2018, 10:29 AM
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I'd say that's hilarious, but who the hell has the money for a weeklong meditation retreat?
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  #243  
Old 11-15-2018, 10:41 AM
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I'd say that's hilarious, but who the hell has the money for a weeklong meditation retreat?
At first I read that as "masturbation retreat" and I was confused why that would cost all that much.
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  #244  
Old 11-15-2018, 08:00 PM
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Yeah, but who has the time for that?
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  #245  
Old 11-15-2018, 09:48 PM
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Yeah, but who has the time for that?
Plenty of time for a masturbation retreat when you're underemployed.
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  #246  
Old 11-29-2018, 11:30 AM
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Actual data in support of the obvious
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  #247  
Old 01-12-2019, 05:07 PM
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Golf courses and houses adjacent thereunto
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  #248  
Old 01-12-2019, 09:12 PM
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Now let's just kill golf.
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  #249  
Old 01-12-2019, 09:27 PM
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Look, if I knew we were going around killing golf courses I'd have signed up to be on a death squad. I missed the memo somehow!
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  #250  
Old 01-12-2019, 09:48 PM
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Now let's just kill golf.
Let me know when we kill pay sites.
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  #251  
Old 01-13-2019, 06:13 AM
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Somewhere, George Carlin is cackling.
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  #252  
Old 01-13-2019, 06:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bongo View Post
Look, if I knew we were going around killing golf courses I'd have signed up to be on a death squad. I missed the memo somehow!
We've already killed memos. Now it's all peer-to-peer communication. We're still working on it.
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  #253  
Old 02-11-2019, 07:08 PM
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  #254  
Old 02-11-2019, 08:12 PM
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Isn't it used to counteract the effects of hard water?
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  #255  
Old 02-11-2019, 08:18 PM
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Writing sympathetically about how a giant megacorporation has the sad is the most WSJ thing.
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  #256  
Old 02-11-2019, 09:00 PM
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Doesn't it make your towels worse? That's what it does, right?
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  #257  
Old 02-12-2019, 08:37 AM
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No no, you guys. It turns that little dish in the middle of your washing machine blue and slimy.
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  #258  
Old 02-12-2019, 09:05 AM
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My parents didn't use fabric softener and I'll be damned if I will.
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  #259  
Old 02-13-2019, 12:17 PM
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Millennials are all bluster right now, but the minute they run up against a mob of Medusas or Cockatrices, they'll be sorry.
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  #260  
Old 02-13-2019, 12:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoggleBob View Post
Millennials are all bluster right now, but the minute they run up against a mob of Medusas or Cockatrices, they'll be sorry.
That's the point, SOFT is passé now that Millennials use Gold Needles on everything.
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  #261  
Old 02-13-2019, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoggleBob View Post
Millennials are all bluster right now, but the minute they run up against a mob of Medusas or Cockatrices, they'll be sorry.
Boy! Did I not tell you to put down your avocado toast and help me fight this minotaur?
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  #262  
Old 02-13-2019, 02:30 PM
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I just use Bounce sheets, which does both fabric softening (sheets are impregnated with the softening agent that releases when heated in the dryer) and anti-static?
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  #263  
Old 02-13-2019, 03:08 PM
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It took me too long to realize you didn't mean you use Bounce sheets to fight medusas.
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  #264  
Old 02-13-2019, 03:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucas View Post
It took me too long to realize you didn't mean you use Bounce sheets to fight medusas.
+1

However... it mightn't hurt?
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  #265  
Old 02-13-2019, 05:00 PM
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It turns out Medusas are only angry because their trousers are too stiff.
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  #266  
Old 02-13-2019, 06:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zef View Post
That's the point, SOFT is passé now that Millennials use Gold Needles on everything.
Typical millenials - wasting their money on avocado toast and Gold Needles.

Last edited by Torzelbaum; 02-13-2019 at 06:04 PM. Reason: stupid homophones
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  #267  
Old 02-15-2019, 09:14 AM
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Quote:
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It turns out Medusas are only angry because their trousers are too stiff.
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  #268  
Old 02-15-2019, 09:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Büge View Post
That's not where they keep their snakes, Büge.
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  #269  
Old 02-15-2019, 10:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zef View Post
That's not where they keep their snakes, Büge.
Are you sure? Have you ever looked inside a medusa's trousers?
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  #270  
Old 02-15-2019, 10:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
Are you sure? Have you ever looked inside a medusa's trousers?
*User was petrified for this post.*
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avocado ghost , avocado toast , get off my lawn you kids , tears for sears , the avocado post

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