The Return of Talking Time

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  #1  
Old 09-14-2016, 11:48 AM
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Default Terrifying Concepts

Please don't steal these UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET A MILLION DOLLARS FROM HOLLYWOOD FOR MAKING THE SCARIEST MOVIE!

An alligator is bitten by a were-crocodile. Nobody can tell when it's most dangerous.

A ghost is haunted by another ghost. The second ghost is actually a skeleton.

Exercise equipment grows eyeballs. Nobody understands when you tell them you're scared of the Stare-Master

A man inherits his grandfathers ghost. He and his grandfathers ghost do a lot of bonding he couldn't do when he was alive, but it's spooky because he's a ghost.

Cursed phone-tree system, most options kill the user in ironic ways, never gets used because everyone dials 0 for the operator.

Werewolf hunter is shocked after his latest kill to learn that there's no such thing as werewolves; he'd been hunting bigfoots.

You see two skeletons locked in a passionate embrace, and the rooms too small to let you look away and you're kind of embarrassed. Then they're ribs get tangled up and they ask for your help to pull apart.

A poltergeist is frustrated when he messes up the lyrics to your Favorite song, and you just think it's a new Weird Al album you don't recognize.

SEQUEL IDEA: the Poltergeist changes all the lyrics on your Weird Al albums so they sound like the originals.

You get over a cold and all the cold germs turn into ghosts. You now sneeze out tiny ghosts.

A Dracula bites a Frankenstein. UH-OH!

Childhood stuffed toy is possessed by devil, has no bones or muscles so it can't do anything.

Babies stare at you with horrified fascination. BASED ON A TRUE STORY?!?

Too many mummies!

Haunted House gets new owners, evicts ghosts. Homeless ghosts make waiting at traffic lights socially awkward

Old radio is haunted, sounds of static and distorted voices. Owner assumes it's defective and buys a new one, is satisfied with newer, more feature-rich model. Finds new appreciation for old favorites.

Last edited by Octopus Prime; 09-14-2016 at 12:15 PM.
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  #2  
Old 09-14-2016, 12:31 PM
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I shouldn't have read this post just before going to bed!
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  #3  
Old 09-14-2016, 12:49 PM
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Oh shit, I think the opening post is haunted. It keeps getting bigger when I look away.
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  #4  
Old 09-14-2016, 01:27 PM
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Ouija Board actually contacts spirit world. Ghosts are all very complimentary. Everyone who uses it is flattered.

Cursed mirror shows how you die. It turns out "Of old age, surrounded by loved ones".

Teen suspects new neighbor is secretly a killer, presents story to police chief. Police chief believe him, launches investigation that leads to an arrest. Teen is celebrated as local hero.

Comic book characters suddenly come to life. Only affects Archie comics.

Gypsy curse prevents woman from correctly pronouncing names of foreign countries, accidentally looks mildly racist.

World wakes up one day to find that MySpace suddenly more popular than Facebook. Aliens are involved.

Evil cult moves into town. New town does not have a worthwhile number of followers, cult leader goes door-to-door looking for converts to limited success.

SEQUEL: Evil Cult membership dwindles as followers feel foolish attending such small gatherings. Most only show up for Evil Christmas and Bad Easter services, and pay little attention.
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  #5  
Old 09-14-2016, 02:06 PM
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What happens if a werewolf bites a frankenstein that then bites a dracula?
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  #6  
Old 09-14-2016, 02:10 PM
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Recovering alcoholic Maine writer finds himself trapped in a fanfic based on one of his books.

Ghost ship lands in Boston Harbor. The ghost captain can't figure out why nobody wants to sell their ghost fish.

Boy and girl come home from Lover's Lane to find hook stuck to car door, set out to find original owner so they can return it.

Giant lizard tramples through what in 100,000,000 years will eventually be Tokyo.

Scientist brings corpse back to life. Publishes findings in peer-reviewed journal, but other scientists are unable to replicate the results.
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  #7  
Old 09-14-2016, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falselogic View Post
What happens if a werewolf bites a frankenstein that then bites a dracula?
The ultimate Abbott and Costello movie.
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  #8  
Old 09-14-2016, 02:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Falselogic View Post
What happens if a werewolf bites a frankenstein that then bites a dracula?


"Well, gang, we've got a mystery on our hands!"
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  #9  
Old 09-14-2016, 03:03 PM
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Claustrophobic boogieman lurks on top of bed, hogs covers

Reverse-Vampires put extra blood in people

Horror writer learns his stories come true; writes romantic comedies instead.

Ghost finds Halloween decorations offensive. Writes scathing blog post.

Man engaged in battle of wits against own skeleton

Wedding day ruined by goblin pranks

Woman cursed to predict the future, is unable to convince others. Buys winning lottery tickets instead.

Sinister Goverment agency founded for nefarious purposes. Budget is a nightmare, funding gradually shrinks while no goals are accomplished. President unfairly blamed
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  #10  
Old 09-14-2016, 05:05 PM
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Goldfish harbours murderous intent. Owner is nonplussed.

Mysterious shop appears staffed by the long dead, stores interior is in all ways the same as it was decades ago. It becomes very popular for its low, low prices.

Washing machine is cursed, adds stains to clothes

Reverse-Poltergeist; cleans up rooms after you, leaves passive-aggressive notes on fridge.

Vengeful spirit kills those who watch cursed VHS tape. Ghost had no future-proofing in place and is harmless in 2016.

Photo-lab attendant becomes dangerously fixated on customer. Customer buys a digital camera and a high-quality printer and stops shopping there.
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  #11  
Old 09-14-2016, 06:59 PM
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a snake, but its tail ends with a human hand holding a gun
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  #12  
Old 09-14-2016, 07:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by me, on Twitter like five years ago
#ScariestIdeas: A ghost that can possess and control ANY machine, including like inclined planes and pulleys and stuff.
#ScariestIdeas: A mummy that bites you and turns you into a mummy! You don't turn into an alive mummy, though. Just a normal dead one.
#ScariestIdeas: Zombies that look and act perfectly human, but have political and religious beliefs completely different from yours.
#ScariestIdeas: A witch who kills people. Not on purpose, though. She's trying to help them. She's just really bad at it.
#ScariestIdeas: A gun that shoots blood.
#ScariestIdeas: Were-aliens. Either people who turn into aliens, or aliens who turn into wolves. Both are scary!
#ScariestIdeas: A videotape where, if you watch it, the world blows up.
#ScariestIdeas: A murderer who only stabs people who have phobias about getting stabbed by murderers.
#ScariestIdeas: A Frankenstein's Monster made out of body parts from everyone who's ever made fun of you.
#ScariestIdeas: A book that tells you how you're going to die, and it says "scared to death by book that tells you how you're going to die."
#ScariestIdeas: A ghost that haunts you so hard you explode.
#ScariestIdeas: A frozen alien gets thawed out and just screams and screams and screams until the scientists freeze it again.
#ScariestIdeas: A robot programmed with the opposite of Asimov's laws e.g. it must harm humans and through inaction allow them to be harmed.
#ScariestIdeas: A werewolf who wears werewolf makeup when he's in his human form so you can't tell when he's most dangerous.
#ScariestIdeas: A spider made up of other, smaller spiders, which are themselves made of even smaller spiders, and so on.
#ScariestIdeas: Dinosaurs that know where you live.
#ScariestIdeas: A town that turns your darkest nightmares against you and flays your psyche, plus it has skeletons in it.
#ScariestIdeas: A homeless man who watches you sleep.
#ScariestIdeas: A ghost house. Not just a house that's full of ghosts, but the ghost of a dead house. Also it's full of ghosts.
#ScariestIdeas: A gun that whispers your name. When you take it, it whispers ANOTHER name. When you shoot that person, it whispers "niiice."
#ScariestIdeas: A haunted clown car. An endless number of ghost clowns emerges, each more murderous than the last.
#ScariestIdeas: Vampire babies! You can't stake them, because they're just babies.
All these ideas are perfectly free for the taking, BTW. They're my gift to horror novelists/filmmakers the world over. You're welcome.
Actually, you know what? Scratch that. Every one of these ideas is solid gold and they're mine. DO NOT STEAL
#ScariestIdeas: Conjoined triplets. One's a priest, one's possessed by a demon, and one's an agnostic who's literally caught in the middle.
#ScariestIdeas: You wake up to find that your brain has been uploaded into a computer, and your job is to calculate pi forever.
#ScariestIdeas: Invisible vampires.
#ScariestIdeas: Vampire presidents.
#ScariestIdeas: Invisible presidents.
#ScariestIdeas: You're trapped in the Land of the Dead. The Dead are all very polite, but you just don't fit in.
#ScariestIdeas: A serial killer is murdering everyone in the phone book in alphabetical order, and your last name is "Aaron."
#ScariestIdeas: A skeleton made entirely out of skulls (the scariest bone).
#ScariestIdeas: You go to class, and there's an exam! And you haven't studied for it! And you're naked! And the professor is Yog-Sothoth!
#ScariestIdeas: A masked serial killer with a mask under his mask. Then, when he's unmasked, it's just another mask, and then he kills you.
#ScariestIdeas: You're visited by a time-traveling future you with an eyepatch, who pokes you right in the eye really hard and vanishes.
Although... I guess that means you're going to be a time-traveler at some point? Which is pretty rad. Shame about the eye though.
#ScariestIdeas: You open up something that's not supposed to be full of organs and find it's full of organs (e.g., a watermelon or toilet).
#ScariestIdeas: You unwrap a mummy, and inside is a zombie. Inside that is a skeleton, and inside THAT is a ghost. Four layers of horror.
#ScariestIdeas: You go to take a shower, and something unexpected comes out of the showerhead (blood, ghosts, bees, etc.).
#ScariestIdeas: You go to take a bath, and something unexpected comes out of the faucet (snakes, ectoplasm, vitreous fluid, etc.).
#AlsoScary: Someone who is capable of identifying vitreous fluid at a glance.
#ScariestIdeas: A murderous statue that can only move when you're not looking at AND sincerely complimenting it.
#ScariestIdeas: A popular musician has released a solo album. Every song is about how he/she wants to murder you. It goes platinum.
#ScariestIdeas: No matter how you live your life, no matter how often you pray or donate to charity, one day you will die.
#ScariestIdeas: You will die alone, in pain, and afraid. You will be buried in the ground, and your good deeds will be forgotten.
#ScariestIdeas: AND THEN YOU WILL TURN INTO A SKELETON!!!
Here ends the #ScariestIdeas.
Okay, wait, one more.
#ScariestIdeas: You're replaced by a pod person, and your friends like it better because it doesn't talk about Ayn Rand all the time.
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  #13  
Old 09-14-2016, 07:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Goldfish harbours murderous intent. Owner is nonplussed.
Now when you say nonplussed do you mean they could care less or that they are freaking out?

Last edited by Falselogic; 09-15-2016 at 12:21 AM.
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  #14  
Old 09-14-2016, 08:17 PM
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Language evolves, False! Deal with it!



(nonplussed means werewolf)
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Old 09-14-2016, 08:30 PM
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Poltergeists out of work because computer bugs took their jobs.
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  #16  
Old 09-14-2016, 09:00 PM
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A boy finds a copy of Metroid for the NES, only to find it's actually a glitched-up copy of Duck Hunt.

Another gravedigging and/or oedipal serial killer inspired by Ed Gein.

Dracula returns to his castle, but can't enter because no one invited him in.

I... actually speak from experience on that first one.
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Old 09-14-2016, 10:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
A poltergeist is frustrated when he messes up the lyrics to your Favorite song, and you just think it's a new Weird Al album you don't recognize.
Ha. Just what it deserves.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
SEQUEL IDEA: the Poltergeist changes all the lyrics on your Weird Al albums so they sound like the originals.
No. Don't encourage them!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
A Dracula bites a Frankenstein. UH-OH!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Falselogic View Post
What happens if a werewolf bites a frankenstein that then bites a dracula?
OK, but what if instead of a dracula it was a blacula? (Also, False you might want to send that idea to the creators of the Underworld franchise. They're already 2/3rds of the way to that.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Man engaged in battle of wits against own skeleton
So BEAT's origin story? (Spoiler : The skeleton won.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Reverse-Poltergeist; cleans up rooms after you, leaves passive-aggressive notes on fridge.
I'm OK with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by teg View Post
a snake, but its tail ends with a [baboon that is] holding a gun
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanagi View Post
Poltergeists out of work because computer bugs took their jobs.
Good. Serves 'em right.
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  #18  
Old 09-15-2016, 01:32 AM
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Man, Lovecraft's commonplace book got strange in his last years.
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  #19  
Old 09-15-2016, 02:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Comic book characters suddenly come to life. Only affects Archie comics.
YAY SONIC!!!!!
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  #20  
Old 09-15-2016, 07:11 AM
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AND MEGA MAN!

EDIT: AND THIS GUY!

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  #21  
Old 09-15-2016, 07:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
Language evolves, False! Deal with it!



(nonplussed means werewolf)
I think you'll find that "Nonplussed" is the name of the scientist. The monster is named "Nonplussed's werewolf."
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  #22  
Old 09-15-2016, 07:16 AM
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AND JUGHEAD
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  #23  
Old 09-15-2016, 07:20 AM
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Oh.

That Jughead.
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  #24  
Old 09-15-2016, 10:29 AM
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Man is cursed by spiteful genie, never has correct change for purchases.

Strong winds at graveyard cause a skele-nado

Targeted for death by ghost train. Train runs late and only materializes on tracks.

House built on ancient burial mound; grass dies and weeds regrow. Lawn replaced with AstroTurf.

Haunted X-Box, achievements do not unlock

Swimming pool haunted by ghosts of everyone who drowned in it. Due to deligence of lifeguards, nobody ever has.

Evil car becomes obsessed with owner. Is a great friend and gets owner out of some tight jams.

Deadly new virulent disease has early stages indistinguishable from common cold. Cure is common substance most people expose themselves to constantly and unintentionally. Nobody dies.

New family is plagued by ants. Ants don't accomplish much but spell out hurtful words.

Man is menaced well into adulthood by childhood bully. Bully is still 9 years old. Man contacts parents and child is reprimanded.
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  #25  
Old 09-15-2016, 11:27 AM
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Everywhere you go, whatever you do, there is always an invisible something right behind you, watching you. It's waiting for you to dump that jerk and realize it's really a Nice Invisible Something.

A woman is cursed to turn everyone who sees her stoned. Her hair is made of interesting-smelling leaves.

Also:

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  #26  
Old 09-15-2016, 03:44 PM
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You are visited upon by a ghost! He visits you any time you're feeling down and shares words of encouragement!
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  #27  
Old 09-15-2016, 06:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Scott View Post
A woman is cursed to turn everyone who sees her stoned. Her hair is made of interesting-smelling leaves.
Medusanal Marijuana.
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  #28  
Old 09-15-2016, 06:39 PM
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You've been cursed by the ghost of an IT employee that your two-step verification keeps unlinking itself from your accounts. When you try to reverse the curse, it doubles down, making you incapable of typing any and all passwords correctly the first three times.

And all your browsers/settings keep corrupting your saved passwords.
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  #29  
Old 09-15-2016, 07:24 PM
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You are cursed so that the next thing you see on the Internet is guaranteed to be reality. You open your browser, and it's already on David Dees' homepage.
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  #30  
Old 09-15-2016, 09:48 PM
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Zombie dinosaurs.
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