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  #31  
Old 08-27-2015, 02:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ajr82 View Post
About a month before I started law school, I got a fortune that read "You would make a good lawyer". I kept it in my wallet through all of law school, until it eventually just disintegrated.
I got this same fortune about 15 years ago. I did the exact same thing with it.
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  #32  
Old 08-27-2015, 02:55 PM
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hideki kamiya's tweets, now in fortune cookie fortune form:


this is the only fortune cookie i've ever gotten that i liked enough to think about after more than 5 seconds:
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  #33  
Old 11-05-2015, 11:10 AM
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Quote:
A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is shining.
Man what is with this weird anti-capitalist propaganda in my Chinese food

oh
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  #34  
Old 04-05-2016, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Anyone can "start," only the thoroughbred will "finish!"
This is either about racism/classism or horse sex.
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  #35  
Old 05-17-2016, 11:19 AM
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Quote:
You are a lover of words someday you will write a book.
Did you hear that guys I will write a book I just hope I have a good copyeditor because punctuation is important I like trees.
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  #36  
Old 05-20-2016, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spineshark View Post
ask your mom
I laughed at this far too hard for a grown-ass adult.
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  #37  
Old 06-30-2016, 11:20 AM
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Quote:
Q. What is H2O? A. Caring, 2 parts Hug, and 1 part Open-mind.
Where the fuck does the Caring part fit in
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  #38  
Old 07-13-2016, 02:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vaeran View Post
Where the fuck does the Caring part fit in
Because hugging and an open mind imply you care? Maybe?
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  #39  
Old 09-01-2016, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
The price of greatness is responsibility.
I guess those Spider-Man movies did alright in China.
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  #40  
Old 12-23-2016, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
The majority of the word "can't" is "can."
It may also be worth noting that the majority of a fall from 10,000 feet is completely harmless, but it's that little bit at the very end that makes all the difference.
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  #41  
Old 05-23-2017, 12:28 PM
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Quote:
It's not the end yet. Let's stay with it.
It's you and me against the world, fortune cookie
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  #42  
Old 10-11-2018, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Kindness only comes in whole.
wat
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  #43  
Old 10-11-2018, 01:49 PM
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One time I opened up a fortune cookie and it was completely blank, which is extremely ominous.
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  #44  
Old 10-12-2018, 09:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodal View Post
One time I opened up a fortune cookie and it was completely blank, which is extremely ominous.
You could choose to read it otherwise!

Your future is unwritten!
Your future is what you make of it!
Etc.

You're going to die.
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  #45  
Old 10-14-2018, 08:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
You could choose to read it otherwise!

Your future is unwritten!
Your future is what you make of it!
Etc.
Replace "future" and "vague platitudes" and that seems about right.
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  #46  
Old 10-30-2018, 11:41 AM
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Quote:
Here we go. Low fat, whole wheat green tea.
joker-here-we-go.gif
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ancient chinese secret , edible destinies , in bed

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