The Return of Talking Time

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Old 03-20-2017, 11:59 AM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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Our health bar is sad, but we will cheer it up.

Oh wait, what's up here?

I guess there's more puzzles than I expected here.

Flopflop is that one character on the Office. Or is it Parks and Rec? I dunno man I don't watch TV.


The only Flopflop that's actually an issue is that one, so we need to clear enough of a path to hit them.

As before, it's all about clearing enough of a path to move the things you need to move. With these rocks gone, we can get the center bomb to the upper left.

From there, it's easy to access Flopflop.


What have you got against flowers, anyway?

Rocks aren't bothered by anything.

Right, back to business.

There's our wands, safe and sound.

You're really on the same wavelength!

Okay y'know what

Not tackling anything else fancy today, save for cleaning up this cave in the Swamp.

You can clearly see why I needed the Fire Sword for this.

What makes you think this will go any differently from your other five attempts at talking to inanimate objects, Ittle?


Of the things I was expecting, that was not one of them.

Anyway that's about it. No puzzle in here, just this talking statue and treasure chest.


The brick, it has joked.

Okay, so that's done. But what about that other cave, the Compost Crypt?

Yeah let's give that a wait.

Next Time: Peel... me...!
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:06 PM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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Compost Crypt isn't very long, so my plan for this update is to clean it out and then get everything else we want from the castle.

What, you don't want me trivializing every single fight with the Fire/Ice combo? Fine.

You're still expected to have all the items, of course.

This puzzle isn't hard, but it is a good way of making sure you have all three.

The main enemy within the Compost Crypt are these undead Turnips (which don't get a card, curiously).

Undead Turnips function like Jenny Frogs with slightly more health and no flinching. They'll usually walk in roughly the direction of Ittle Dew as she approaches, but each individual one isn't dangerous if you maintain distance. Only threat is that they don't drop health.

Also: I love that this area has confetti scattered about. Remember, confetti is basically this game's stand-in for blood.

Lean Boo also hangs out here.

Gotta approach this one from the other side.

Now this is just silly. Was Lean Boo not enough to tell the player to keep moving?

Well, whatever.

This stuff isn't going to make a whole lot of sense until we see the credits, but eh.

Chilly Roger, eh? Well, let's defeat you and get a move on.


Oh hey that was the correct choice.

Oh right! Okay, back to the Chilly Roger room.

As you know, Chilly Roger can't be frozen. However, his shield also reflects all projectiles on top of that! You can see where this is going here.

Drop a Portal block across the room, then warp to the other side using his shield as a reflective thing.

Taking us here, where we can get past this no problem.

Oh hey, other side of here.

You can consider this a checkpoint for the other half of the Compost Crypt if you like, only the Compost Crypt isn't really long or hard enough to warrant taking a break partway through.

What war? Nobody here's been at war. Maybe a little crazy in one way or another, but nothing suggesting a war.

Well, warping there would drop us on spikes, so that's a no-go. However, it provides enough of a block for us to shove the other block in place.

Once it's there, we can throw a second portal block down the line as well!

I mean yeah I could've also gone to the right. But clearly I didn't.
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:08 PM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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Haha loser.

Also a loser!

Whoa, man, spoilers.

So here's this room. The door down below is locked, but even if we do unlock it here, we can't reach it. Still a thing we're gonna do! That block Lean Boo is covering is the key.

Remember how we got up here?

And that means we can use that door from the other side to enter this room. This matters for reasons.

By the way, here's the room on the other side. We need that ice block, but clearly can't use it from this side.

Which is why we did that puzzle up there.

Now that we have this block, we can weigh down all three switches in this room!

Final room. Four Brutuses that are immune to freezing, eh? No big deal, we've done this fight before. And unlike the undead Turnips, these guys DO drop hearts.

The entire floor being sand, we can't create any portal blocks to easily dispatch them.

But hey, we're an old hand at this.


And inside this box...

Yep. On the Wii U, which doesn't have achievements, you get all of NOTHING for clearing this one.

Eh, fair.

This game does have a sequel, and I'll probably be LPing it, but don't expect that too soon.

Back to the Castle. On the first floor, only three treasures remain.

There's more on the second floor, and now that we have the Fire Sword we can do a bit more up here.

For starters, we can open this path up. This isn't strictly the way to the Fire and Portal back door, but it is the easiest way to get there if you only have those items.

Hey look, another place that tells you that turnips can hit switches, long after we discovered this fact by initiating it ourselves!

Little more paper. What else do we have here?

It's hard to see, but that niche down there has a cracked wall. We've already seen the bomb in this room, and getting over the spiked pit isn't hard, but getting down there WILL require all three items.

Portal wand to get ourselves and the bomb there easily, Ice wand to cross the spikes, and Fire Sword to ignite the bomb.

The room immediately after isn't that impressive.

But it does lead to a very good room for teaching players that bombs aren't just for exploding.
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:09 PM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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Let's start here.

Placing a bomb means we can push things into it! And the bomb can still blow up stuff on its own! Basically, this makes bombs very good as emergency brakes for icy things.

This also means that a player with proper foresight can guarantee return paths with bombs that they wouldn't normally have access to! If that one wasn't there, any ice blocks we sent across couldn't return us to the exits.

But we're all right.

The next room has a piece of paper and a very lively room we have no means of reaching. Have fun, everyone!

North from there and back on floor 2 leads us...

First to this trading card.

And second, to this path that we could've accessed from either direction with the Fire Sword. North of here is the explicitly insane old man.

To the east is a puzzle that seems like something only a chump would bother with. I'm not totally sure what item combo one would use to break past it, but that's not a huge concern for me.

Now that I've got all this junk, I can get into that chest too.

That's some fancy tape.

Oh, and we can get in here too.

Last piece of paper!

You again? Ain't got time for you. This is the way to go if you're intent on using the Fire Sword to sequence break and go for the Ice Wand (or just explore to your heart's content).

As usual, the Fire Sword is hard to make actual puzzles for.

How mysterious!

This leads into this shady room.

Again, you can see how the Fire Sword might be used to solve this one. Carefully manage the bombs so you can hit both crystals at the same time, y'know?

What's "careful"?

I ain't afraid of no cacti.

So yeah, ordinarily you'd have to hit both crystals at once, while at the same time leaving enough bombs behind to access the space behind the gate. But with the Portal Wand, we can subvert the entire puzzle easily.

This is, I think, the last treasure in the castle.

To get it, we have to solve this puzzle. It looks much meaner than it actually is, especially once you consider the Portal Wand.

I still manage to screw it up.

Better. You can basically use the top or bottom half of the room really easily by just shoving things towards those switches.
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Old 03-22-2017, 12:10 PM
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Just get to this position and it practically solves itself.

Oh. Well, we've already basically got that done, but hey, may as well.

Good clear way to show that we've basically cleaned out the castle! I mean yeah, I could show off the Fire/Ice or Fire/Portal rooms, but nah. Go see those yourself in your own playthrough.

I wanna go visit the tutorial cave again, for reasons.

Once you get the Portal Wand and Ice Wand, returning here is easy. I don't know if you need the Fire Sword as well, but it probably helps.

See? Worth my time!

Or not.

No, it is. This is where you really might learn about the assorted secrets of Ittle Dew. Daniel Remar loves loves LOVES his secrets, but he's not so cruel as to leave players without hints to discover them.

This place is like the Cracker's Hideout in Iji, although Ittle Dew is not so sneaky a game that it's full of secrets.

This hint, I guess, is to help people trying to speedrun the game? It's very doable.

This is just silly, though. In the original Game Maker version of Ittle Dew, one could get the Exploding Flaming Chainsaw Shotgun by clearing the game with only two of the three items, but we will not see such a powerful relic in this game.

Right, enough tomfoolery.

Let's display us some mastery.

Next Time: This is the Master Cave. Pros only!
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Old 03-25-2017, 10:22 AM
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Ya don't say.

For real though, the Master Cave is not fooling around. It's about where a theoretical Parallel Worlds tier romhack of Ittle Dew might approach in its difficulty around the time you got past the intro.

I've done this place before but I still forget a few essential things here and there, which is a great way to be stumped because this place expects you to remember EVERY property your stuff has.

This first room isn't too bad, though. Once you get to this side, you can't leave until you bomb the blocks over there, but what ELSE were you gonna do with that bomb, anyway?

First one down, easy.

Oh, that was a practice run? That's what they all say.

Anyway, three switches. Since we have the Portal Wand, we only really need one of these held down by a block, and obviously it's going to be the one in the spike canal.

The trick is the terrain. We need to space out each of the blocks enough that we can actually land the third one on the switch.

Here's a pretty solid start. You might notice that if we're savvy enough, we only need the two blocks to get to the switch, with careful positioning of the Portal block.

Obviously, we need the Portal block there to make use of this block once it gets there. But then what? It hits the corner and is stuck. Thankfully, that's okay, because we have another block to work with.

Exactly like that.

Keep it coming.

Your first instinct when seeing bombs is to blow them up, but don't do that here.

You're gonna need those bombs, not as demolitions tools, but as brakes.

Now, your first instinct to get the block to the switch is to push it with the bombs as brakes like this. But even if you do, you'd be unable to push it the second time, since you'd have no way to drop a Portal block back behind the ice block the second time.

The answer is to take it easy. That wide open space can be used, too!

Once it's in the center, just rinse and repeat. No big deal at all.

But again, this all covers stuff we already have had to do, and just adds some extra complexity to it.

For making it this far at all, we get a card!

That's Ittle all right.

This one is where most people get stumped, not least because unless you're doing what we did and going drastically out of order in item acquisition, there's no straight instance in which you'd do the thing needed to solve the puzzle. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

First, what we have to work with. Which isn't very much. Those ice blocks below are filler, and the center block is pretty hard to move around.

What we want to do is set up the ice blocks below so that we can freeze the center block and push it into them. Once we do, we can break the lower layer of ice blocks and push the center block up into the spike field. But then what?

Well, recall that when you've placed a Portal block, you can warp ANYTHING there. And we have warped blasts of magic this way before, against Jenny Deer...

So we can likewise warp our own blasts of ice magic from here to there!
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Old 03-25-2017, 10:23 AM
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Again, it's something that might infuriate a newer player since on the surface you don't need to do this anywhere else in the game, but again, that's not technically the case. We had to do the same thing to reach the Portal/Ice backdoor, remember. (It is, however, an obscure technique, so I don't blame people for being stumped here.)

Okay, now it's about more than just brain-knowing. We gotta master the execution, too.

This upper block does nothing for us, but the lower one does. Clearly, we have to hit all three switches at the end of the nave area there, but that's easier said than done. Here's how this will work.

First, we chuck a Portal block down there. We need to be there first.

But the ice block here also needs to be down there.

You need to shove the ice block, then Portal over, quickly throw down another block as a brake, and then hurry into one of the niches.

Done right, the ice block will slam to a halt right in front of you, easy pickings to push down and out of the way.

Not done yet with the execution and timing, though.

Clearly the block above the crystal, next to the wall, needs to be destroyed. But how are we to get the bomb down there while lit?

Well, as you know, frozen bombs will not only slide around like ice blocks, but will maintain their lit status while thermodynamics cries to itself.

If we just push a lit bomb into a Portal beam, using the far wall to support us...

Well, that alone does nothing.

But pushing a frozen bomb in...

Slides it all the way down, where we can easily hit both crystals with sword and wand at the same time.

Who has two thumbs and is good at puzzles?

The banter never stops.


Well, smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Well, one more card for the road.

On the next floor, we get a curious portent.

And our next puzzle.

The sequence of events isn't hard to see, the trick is ensuring that we can actually carry it out without getting ourselves stuck.

The trick we pulled back in room 4 to warp ice blasts will get the torch extinguished, for starters.

Blasting the crystal switch is easy too, but without a bit of preparation to get the last torch down, we've messed this run up.

We instead need to place this block first, so the gate can serve as a brake for it.
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Old 03-25-2017, 10:26 AM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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And we're set.

As the closed quarters indicate, this one's also pretty execution-heavy.

Do note that we don't strictly need the bomb lit to pull this off. I'm just doing it because I forgot I wanted to show off.

Anyway, the idea is this. Using the long hallway to buy ourselves time, we fire two Portal blasts, warp ourselves across the pit with the first, then quickly walk over, drop a portal block by the cracked rock, and warp the bomb with the second blast to blow it up. Without having two warps at once, we're stuck.

As you can see, we don't strictly need the bomb lit, and having it lit sharply decreases the time we have to act. Whatevs, we pulled it off anyway.

Long as you do it RIGHT, you can freely leave.

Okay, this one legitimately puzzled me for a while.

Naturally, the Turnip is the key. We need them to push the ice blocks on the islands, and they are in theory easy to rely on since we can just warp them over and there's literally only one way to push both blocks.

In practice, I overlooked something very important and wasted a lot of time on failure results. Let's fast forward to my discovery, because like with puzzle 4, it's the thing that makes or breaks this puzzle.

It's not enough to put yourself here and time it perfectly, not least because that only works for the upper one, and also it doesn't work without a brake.

Likewise, we can't just warp the Turnip as-is based on timing and then quickly throw down a Portal block as brake, we don't have time to get it into position.

The secret is that we can still freeze the Turnip, locking it in place for a short while we warp it to where it needs to go and set up the Portal block as a brake.

Once we figure that out, it's easy.

Treasure first, of course.

Guess we know who carved these cards, then.

This one also stumped me for a while, but this time it's because I overlooked something simple. First off: we have to push the ice block up to the switch on the left. The bomb has to blow up the rocks around the top switch so Ittle can hit it, leaving the Portal block to tag the bottom-right.

My only problem is getting the ice block to a point where it can, y'know, reach.

The bomb, as usual, should serve as the brake, but getting it there requires a little bit of cleverness.

Repeating the solution from puzzle 6 does the trick.

With the bomb in place, the ice block is easy to handle, and then everything else is cleanup.

A Turnip AND Titan de Graphiques, eh? No problem.

As with puzzle 9, warping the Turnip around is the way to go, to prevent you from getting stuck somewhere. You can warp the Turnip out of anywhere, but they can't do the same for you.

You also need Titan de Graphiques on this side. You remember why, right?

Yep. When frozen, he stays that way, and counts as an ice block.

The other switches are easy. Just get the Turnip warped back to the center to shove the ice block here, moving upwards to allow it room enough.
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Old 03-25-2017, 10:28 AM
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One last chance to impress, Master Cave. Make it count.

Oh. Guess they're really making it count, then.

Buckle in, kids. This one's a doozie.

The entire room is packed to the gills with raw puzzle. Getting more than a few steps from one spot to another is tremendously difficult.

First things first, of course, is setting up so we can magic blast the crystal. The block stacking is nothing new.

The tricky part is timing your Portal Wand so that it catches the ice blast while it's between those two mirrors. Anywhere else, and you'll miss the Crystal and have to reset the Portal block.

Next up, more preserved physics of bombs. Once again, we don't need to light it first.

Use the bomb you set as a brake earlier, and push it into a portal beam while frozen, as before.

Extinguishing the torch here opens the next gate to the switch puzzle segment.

Don't forget to set this bomb here so you can get it back, because you're gonna need it.

Hitting this switch lets us access the first area through a path we could already take. The last three down there will clear the way to the cracked rocks.

The trick here is putting the ice block where it needs to go, which is to say the top-right switch. We need to be able to walk from where we drop the Portal block to the other switch, y'know.

So we shove a Portal block down in the corner and push this bomb where it needs to go. Without opening up the first half of the room, we wouldn't have the space to shove this bomb around.

Right, there we go. And with both remaining bombs saved...

We can make it up here to the last switch.

We've done it! All the puzzles in the Master Cave, cleared!

Oh, right. The Fishbun is waiting. Wonder what that means?

Out of nowhere, a seriously ripped Fishbun jumps in, crushing its weaker brethren! THEIR GAINS ARE SICK AND THEY ARE HERE TO FLEX

This is Ultra Fishbunjin 3000, the secret boss of Ittle Dew, and probably one of the most annoying things in the game for most players. See, up until this point, Ittle Dew has been a puzzle game first and foremost. Yeah, you fought dudes here and there, Zelda 1 style, but that wasn't as fun as the puzzles.

Ultra Fishbunjin is a straight up Zelda boss fight with no weaknesses, just pain. Their attack pattern is simple, they just leap from one point of the room to another and then throw a dumbbell. The dumbbell ricochets off of walls and explodes after a while, after which he jumps away again after a short while.

As the fight progresses, he throws more and more dumbbells. Each one does half a heart of damage, so if you haven't got all the paper scraps, you have very little room for error.

This fight was nerfed in recent versions, as before this point Fishbunjin didn't stop for long enough to land more than one or two smacks with the Fire Sword. In the sequel, there's a refight against something very much like Fishbunjin that hews closely to the original. The sequel is also way more heavy and technical with the combat than this game, so it fits there, although a lot of people really wish Ittle Dew 2 stuck more closely to this game in terms of simple combat and clever puzzles.

Whatevs. Nerfed Fishbunjin doesn't stand up to us for very long.


And that clears the Master Cave.

Let's go see what goodies we get!
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Old 03-25-2017, 10:31 AM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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Drumroll please...

I dunno.

Oh, nice.

It's very meta, Ittle. You have to understand the concept from the mind and heart alone.

Or that.

Tippsie is definitely a health nut in some sense.

Anyway yeah. Not gonna showcase the art gallery since this update's already running super long and also it's concept art what do you want me to LP about that.

Any more secrets on the island before we scoot?

No? Okay.

Oh, can't forget the last card.

Always remember the value of SKRONG.


The game treats this run as an all-three items run since that's when I got the raft but whatever maaaaan.


And Itan was even nice enough to throw in a complementary crate of health potions.

Maybe he is a creepy weirdo who builds really convoluted puzzles, but dang it, we like this creepy weirdo!

Hop on board, we're going exploring!

Also all we have for rations is the potions, so unless you can carve up a turkey we're eating you first.


Also the credits display scenes from the history of the island. There's the ancient Jennies, including the recently-trounced Jenny Deer...

And there's the Turnip Army, led by a not-yet-undead Lichous Turnip.

And this has been Ittle Dew. It's just a super charming Zelda 1 like, that's all! And as you can see, there's a decent amount of replayability as you tackle the game in different orders of items, or try to clear the boss with only two of the three on hand.

Of course, now that I've shown all the puzzles to you guys, I've probably RUINED EVERYTHING. But hey, no big deal. Just start with the Fire Sword or the Ice Wand and already you'll see a different game and be forced to stretch your noggin in totally different ways.

I will be LPing the sequel, but not for a while. As mentioned, it's a much harder game not for puzzle difficulty, but for combat difficulty, and I need to figure out how best to handle that prospect.

Anyway, here's the backstory of the game. War between the Jennies and the Turnips eventually ending in a truce, then Itan washes up on shore and sees the descendants of the war.

He wants to build an adventure on the island and is willing to pay everyone huge amounts of dosh to do so (carefully omitting the part about the adventurers stealing it all back).

People agree, with varying levels of confidence...
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Old 03-25-2017, 10:31 AM
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Kalir Kalir is offline
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And Ittle shows up just in time for the adventure to start. Wonder what wacky garbage the next game will have.

Next Time: GAH! Don't touch anything! Don't explore anywhere! Just leave!
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ittle dew , kalir lets play , zelda

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