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  #361  
Old 11-20-2017, 02:17 PM
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The Don Knotts one is great, based on my fuzzy kid memory. Don Knotts creepily stalks the gang for the first half of the episode, causing Scooby to look at the camera several times and go "Holy shit, was that Don Knotts?".

Some of that may be wrong.
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  #362  
Old 11-21-2017, 11:54 AM
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The New Shmoo

I'm only vaguely aware of the Shmoo. He's, like a thing, that appeared in a comic strip in the early 20th century, but I couldn't tell you which one. Thimble Theatre, maybe? Or Happy Hooligan? Or Barney Google and Snuffy Smith? One of those real old ones. But that's all I know and I have a feeling even kids in the 70's would have to ask their grandparents what the Hell the/a Shmoo is.



We see lightning strike about a building called Mighty Mystery Comics, as the theme song tells us that this is "the New Shmoo, the incredible New Shmoo" not that I'd be able to tell a new one from an old.

Anyway, inside Mighty Mystery Comics (a name I must confess I like and should be in the real world) we see three folks: a hulking artist and two writers, who are fairly plain looking. Next, we see them piled into a very tiny car with what I can only assume is the Shmoo sitting on top, a white little blob. Hey, maybe you should have given the Shmoo a showcase first before introducing us to his human cast and them feature him from a distance where people are squinting and saying under their breath "what the fuck..."

Suddenly, the writers in the front seat, start looking around nervously, as if to ask "How did we get into this car? What's going on? Where is that music coming from? GET US OUT OF YOUR TV!"



It's a cartoon from the 70's so what they find is a spooky old house.

Then we finally see the Shmoo do stuff and it turns out it is the blob from a Boy and his Blob, but with a half-formed teen 'stache. I mean, I assume that was the inspiration for a Boy and his Blob, because he's a shapeshifter. He turns into a pogo stick and the big guy bounces around on the Shmoo in a way that tells us that he doesn't know how pogo sticks work. This is all while the singers croon the word (debatably) "Shmoo".

Next we see some witch or zombie or something at a window. Then it is chasing our heroes on the rooftops. Then the Shmoo turns into a slide so they can escape from... the window that the witch was just at? I think the editor fucked up here and no one cared enough to undo the mistake, like that one episode of the 90's Spider-Man cartoon that was released with SCENES IN THE WRONG ORDER AND NO ONE DID SHIT ABOUT IT! Sorry, but it still stings. It was the end of a story arc and everything.

Where was I?

Oh, so the Shmoo turns into a lot of stuff, including a bunch of screaming musical instruments. The characters pop up from behind a bush and then see that witch again. but then we transition to a comic book page with the witch on it, meaning that this is either a story about comic book writers who solve actual crimes for inspiration like Murder, She Wrote and Castle or the monsters are escaping from the comics like *sigh* Big Bad Beetleborgs. I... I'm not proud about how much I know about Big Bad Beetleborgs.

Then we see the Shmoo answering the phone and giving it to the girl writer. Then a spaceship appears out of the sky and a robot inside seems to be announcing stuff, to which the Shmoo expresses surprise.

Then a sea monster emerges from the deep, looking like it could threaten the girl writer who is in a boat. And everyone's reaction to something so profoundly shocking is... being underwhelmed.



"Yeah, it's pretty big, I guess. I've seen bigger."

Then the Shmoo kisses the sea monster, to which it chuckles, as if to say "You kids. You're all right."

"Here comes the Shmoo" jingle the singers (in this case, to "jingle" is to sing as if this song is a jingle.) Then the Shmoo walks out on a piece of paper on a drawing paper, where the other leads appear.

Did it make me want to watch it?

The fact that a once famous shapeshifting bowling pin is in this show can't disguise the fact that it is just another cartoon riding on the coattails of the much more successful Goober and the Ghost Chasers.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

This was followed by "Fred and Barney Meet the Shmoo" in which Fred and Barney DEFINTELY DO NOT MEET THE SHMOO!

Oh, and L'il Abner. The Schmoo was from L'il Abner.

Fan Art
For BEAT



Why is his dialogue in a poopy brown color?
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  #363  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:01 PM
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Dangit. double posted.
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  #364  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:35 PM
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To go by the Wikipedia article for the creature itself, there is a ton wrapped up in this thing.

Quote:
Cartoonist Al Capp ascribed to the shmoo the following curious characteristics:
  • They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying exponentially faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air.
  • Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself — either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. (Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.)
  • They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter—no churning required. Their pelts make perfect bootleather or house timber, depending on how thick one slices it.
  • They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal.
  • Naturally gentle, they require minimal care, and are ideal playmates for young children. The frolicking of shmoon is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies.
  • Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, utilize a paper bag, flashlight and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they can be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.
Quote:
The sequence, which ended just before Christmas of 1948, was massively popular, both as a commentary on the state of society and a classic allegory of greed and corruption tarnishing all that is good and innocent in the world. The Shmoo caused an unexpected national sensation, and set the stage for a major licensing phenomenon.
Quote:
Al Capp offered his version of the origin of the Shmoo in a wryly satirical article, "I Don't Like Shmoos," in Cosmopolitan (June 1949):

Quote:
I was driving from New York City to my farm in New Hampshire. The top of my car was down, and on either side of me I could see the lush and lovely New England countryside... It was the good earth at its generous summertime best, offering gifts to all. And the thought that came to me was this: Here we have this great and good and generous thing—the Earth. It's eager to give us everything we need. All we have to do is just let it alone, just be happy with it.

Cartoonists don't think like people. They think in pictures. Little pictures that will fit into a comic strip. And so, in my mind, I reduced the Earth... down to the size of a small critter that would fit into the Li'l Abner strip—and it came out a Shmoo... I didn't have any message—except that it's good to be alive. The Shmoo didn't have any social significance; it is simply a juicy li'l critter that gives milk and lays eggs... When you look at one as though you'd like to eat it, it dies of sheer ecstasy. And if one really loves you, it'll lay you a cheesecake—although this is quite a strain on its li'l innards...

I thought it was a perfectly ordinary little story, but when it appeared in newspapers, all hell broke loose! Life, in an editorial, hailed the Shmoo as the very symbol and spirit of free enterprise. Time said I'd invented a new era of enlightened management-employee relationship, (they called it Capp-italism.) The Daily Worker cussed me out as a Tool of the Bosses, and denounced the Shmoo as the Opium of the Masses...
Quote:
"After it came out both the left and the right attacked the Shmoo," according to publisher Denis Kitchen. "Communists thought he was making fun of socialism and Marxism. The right wing thought he was making fun of capitalism and the American way. Capp caught flak from both sides.[8] For him it was an apolitical morality tale about human nature... I think [the Shmoo] was one of those bursts of genius. He was a genius, there's no question about that."[9]
Quote:
However, "shmue" was a taboo Yiddish term for the uterus.[10] It is one of many Yiddish slang variations that would find their way into Li'l Abner.
I'm going to guess that Hanna-Barbera did not deal with most of this.
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  #365  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:41 PM
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The Shmoo’s biology is absolutely incredible.

I have a q: do humans ever eat bones? I know some animals do. I suspect bones aren’t the only animal parts that are wasted when you eat animals.

Reminds me of Mojo, and how his race lack spines but still have, like, arms and seemingly humanoid skulls... I want to dissect a mojo.
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  #366  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Scott View Post

I'm going to guess that Hanna-Barbera did not deal with most of this.
Except for episode 10: "The Case of the Haunted Uterus".
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  #367  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
Except for episode 10: "The Case of the Haunted Uterus".
[Insert "Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose" joke here]
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  #368  
Old 11-21-2017, 12:53 PM
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Here's the thing, reading that stuff, I love everything about the Shmoo all of a sudden. But a Shmoo should not be solving mysteries. However, I guarantee you that if there wasn't a terrible show were a shmoo solves mysteries, I would say "WHY HASN'T ANYONE MADE A SHOW WERE A SHMOO SOLVES MYSTERIES!?!"
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  #369  
Old 11-21-2017, 01:29 PM
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Well, the friggin’ New Shmoo song is stuck in my head now.
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  #370  
Old 11-21-2017, 01:58 PM
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The shmoo also drops the most powerful weapon in SOTN.
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  #371  
Old 11-21-2017, 06:08 PM
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There's something inherently beautiful about the phrase "If it really loves you, it'll lay a cheesecake, but this is a strain on its l'il innards"
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  #372  
Old 11-21-2017, 06:13 PM
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Al Capp was an excellent artist, and seems like he was smart and creative as heck. I just wish the accents in Lil Abner weren’t so difficult to read!
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  #373  
Old 11-21-2017, 07:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendell View Post
Al Capp was an excellent artist, and seems like he was smart and creative as heck. I just wish the accents in Lil Abner weren’t so difficult to read!
He apparently became a bit of an ass in his later years, liked to pick fights with hippies on college campuses and was pretty terrible to women. Very interesting man, though.
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  #374  
Old 11-21-2017, 08:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Büge View Post
The shmoo also drops the most powerful weapon in SOTN.
It truly is nature's greatest creation.
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  #375  
Old 11-23-2017, 11:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NavelsAreNeat View Post
The Shmoo’s biology is absolutely incredible.

I have a q: do humans ever eat bones? I know some animals do. I suspect bones aren’t the only animal parts that are wasted when you eat animals.
Gelatin is made of bone, isn't it? I mean, it's not a natural product, but still.
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  #376  
Old 11-23-2017, 11:31 AM
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I think there's... some history of bone meal use, but only for maybe petfood or agriculture. So... kind of?
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  #377  
Old 11-23-2017, 04:51 PM
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I have a q: do humans ever eat bones? I know some animals do. I suspect bones aren’t the only animal parts that are wasted when you eat animals.
Of course. Bone marrow is dense with fats and other nutrients.
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  #378  
Old 11-27-2017, 01:56 PM
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The Oddball Couple

Neil Simon's the Odd Couple is one of the great comedy plays and films of the 20th century (and a sitcom of a quality I don't know about). I admit I haven't seen any incarnation of it, but it is so ingrained in our culture that I can't help knowing of it through cultural osmosis. I know it is about a fussy guy and a slob having to share a living space and one or both of them are divorcees. And they are played by Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau in the film so its got that going for it. It is written by Neil Simon one of the most popular playwrights of the 20th century who I used to think was the same guy as Neil Diamond because their names almost rhyme.

Now, cartoons are full of rp-offs. Some are more like "homages" but in the 70's the attitude seemed to be "let's imagine the Honeymooners were cavemen but not call it The Honeymooners As Cavemen so we don't have to pay anyone." Some bootleg versions of famous characters are more blantant than others. But sometimes when that happens, they become so broad that they don't represent the characters in except the broadest sense.

The Oddball Couple is a cartoon that couldn't be any more obviously a rip-off, but if the intro is to be believed, the witty wordplay between two very different men is replaced by wacky slapstick and sight gags. Only the contrast remains. I mean, the dog in this is smiling. The dog represents Walter Matthau. Now, you can imagine Walter Matthau smiling, but it takes a little bit of brain work since you have to imagine his default, which is something akin to this.



BTW, if you haven't seen the Taking of Pelham 123, I insist you do. It is a very funny and exciting thriller with one of the greatest last shots ever. The one above. Trust me, here it doesn't spoil anything, but in context it is great.

Oh, where was I?

Oh, yeah, a shitty cartoon.



First, we start off with Vaudeville-style old timey music with drawings of the characters in the background which change colour in time with the music. Then out steps a dapper cat and a slobby dog.

"Here they are, they're the Oddball Couple. They're a couple that's a couple of oddballs." claims the song that is clearly a first draft. They are also accompanied by more wacky horn sounds that have ever been together in one place. It stops sounding like they are supposed to imply wackiness and have moved on to being sarcastic.

We then see Slobby Dog trying to get ketchup out of a bottle. Most of it bounces off of the table and splashes onto Dapper Cat, to which the dog gives an embarrased smile.

"And anything the Oddball Couple ever do becomes a series of foul balls." At this point a baseballsman hit a baseball into Dapper Cat's baseball game refreshments. If I have to guess, 90% of the cartoon involves the cat being covered in food of some kind.

"They're really just as opposite as crooked and straight,
An no matter where they're going, if there's one that's dirty, the other one is late."

So does that mean that the lateness of one is dependant on the dirtiness of the other? I'm not sure what's going on here. Also, why be vague? I assume they don't alternate their definitive character traits. Why not use this as an opportunity to tell us the characters names?

"They're the Oddball Couple. They're a couple that's a couple of oddballs."

Slobby Dog sticks his head onto frame and then takes it away. The shows title appears again, then we see the Slobby Dog trying to lasso a horse but failing comedically (in theory) while we see the Oddball couple being best buds in a little box in the corner. After the scene plays out, the horse is now in a box while Slobby Dog bowls in a larger box. The Dog throws the ball but flies away with it, because whoever created this show can only speak to his audience in cliches.

I can't imagine being so defeated creatively that even with the soul crushing request from networks to "just put on a fucking cartoon, stupid kids will watch anything so I don't care what you give us", you don't even try to do something interesting. Or, perhaps even sadder, this is the culmination of a man's dream and this is the result.

Oh, and the song continues.

"Now, one of them is fussy, very proper and clean, while the other one has a very special talent for messing up the team."

I dunno, maybe I'm just picking nits to pick nits but it feels like these lyrics could be edited down. Brevity is the soul as non-clunky sounding theme songs. It works well for the second scene which is the SHORTEST chase through a hall of doors I've ever seen as Slobby Dog comes face-to-face with the werewolf. Even the Futurama episode that spoofs that trope by having it not happen has to take a pregnant pause for us to appreciate what just happened.



"We're talkin' 'bout the Oddball Couple, they're a couple that can double as foul balls."

Is calling a person or a situation a "foul ball" a thing? It's not like it doesn't make sense, but I feel like the theme is treating it like a common thing, but I've never heard anyone say "he's a real foul ball" or "that whole ordeal was a real foul ball". It's not even really that bad in the game of baseball. In most cases it's just having to start over. There are many worse ways to completely fuck up a baseball game. Like Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch. Even if there's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't play baseball, doesn't mean you should let the get play baseball. I feel like things could be really wrong for that dog. Plus, it opens the door for other non-human players, a terrible precedent that robots can take advantage of.

Also, in the second and third Air Buds, the dog plays Football and Football, respectively. These are sports that absolutely destroy humans, so think of what will happen if a human, even a child sized one, tackles or kicks that dog. There are so many problems with this franchise.

We then see Slobby Dog knocking down a door to escape from a closet, then whimpering in Dapper Cat's arms in one box and smiling with a nervous smile in another.

"Oddballs"

The two then appear behind a big eight ball which spontaniously generates the shows title.

"Eight Balls."

OK, NOW I AM EVEN MORE CONFUSED! Are you calling them 8 balls and, if so, what does that mean? If not, then why even say that? Is billiards a big part of the series and you decided not to reveal it until the end? If you put 8 balls in the middle I might have been tricked into not noticing it, but our takeaway should be that they are oddballs, right? Why did you not end with this.

Fuck this, I AM OUT OF HERE!

After a few more things.

Did it make me want to watch it?

FUCK NO!

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Wow, I got to admit, I didn't think this show had the class, but their shitty, shitty cartoon actually credits the cartoon as being based on Neil Simon's The Odd Couple. Hopefully, this means the Simon estate will agree to my idea for a Sweet Charity cartoon, with Shirley MacLaine returning, this time as a jerboa prostitute.

Yes, that last sentence was mostly so you'd look of what a jerboa is. You weren't disappointed, were you?

Oh, also the characters work in an office and have a secretary but it never mentions what they do. Professional 8 balls, perhaps?

Fan Art
Apparently, this world is too good a place to let this happen. Instead, here's some Odd Couple fan art.



Good, but while the Walter Matthau is spot on, there's something off with Jack Lemon. I can't articulate what, though.



OK, there's the Odd Couple from the movie and the one from the TV series and oh! There was a Black Odd Couple? I feel like I should have known this (I knew about the Female Odd Couple on the stage). Will have to look into this. One of them sort of has Lionel Ritchie hair, so I'm really hoping Lionel Ritchie was Felix.

After looking: Even better, IT'S RON GLASS! Reverend Book himself was Felix in a short lived series called "The New Odd Couple".
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Old 11-27-2017, 07:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
Oh, yeah, a shitty cartoon.

Wow, if the intro is that tedious then the show must really be shit.

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Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
Hopefully, this means the Simon estate will agree to my idea for a Sweet Charity cartoon, with Shirley MacLaine returning, this time as a jerboa prostitute.

Yes, that last sentence was mostly so you'd look of what a jerboa is. You weren't disappointed, were you?
No. I was .
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Old 11-28-2017, 02:13 AM
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It was Ron Glass and Demond Wilson from Sanford and Son, I think. Pretty good casting for Ron, since he was the pompous intellectual on Barney Miller previously.

By the way, the Odd Couple sitcom was pretty good, in my humble opinion. Klugman and Randall were my Oscar and Felix for sure. Can't say much about the New Odd Couple, or this crummy cartoon knock-off.

I think this toon was by DePatie-Freleng, the Pink Panther company that eventually became Marvel Animation. (cue creepy computer rendered Spider-Man jumping toward the camera.)
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Old 11-28-2017, 03:41 AM
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I think my favorite incarnation of The Odd Couple is Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23.

My least favorite is certainly this one.
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  #382  
Old 11-28-2017, 08:14 AM
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I think my favorite incarnation of The Odd Couple is Don’t Trust the B in Apartment 23.

My least favorite is certainly this one.
Might be a toss up between this one and the one that just got cancelled on CBS.

Poor Matthew Perry. He’s not very good at TV anymore.
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Old 11-28-2017, 07:41 PM
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Might be a toss up between this one and the one that just got cancelled on CBS.

Poor Matthew Perry. He’s not very good at TV anymore.
When Friends was your big break it's hard to go anywhere but down. (Unless you switch to movies.)
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Old 11-29-2017, 12:05 PM
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The Osmonds

I am only vaguely aware who the Osmonds are. I think they are a family of singers and they are super wholesome and Donny and Marie are the most famous ones and I think some people think they are weirdly close for siblings. Did I get that right? And they had a variety show or something. OK, that's all I know before getting into this one. Let's see what happens.



OK, we start out with some apples and the one in the center is alternating between a Granny Smith and a Macintosh. Hey, just so long as it's not a Red Delicious, the worst of all apples.

It grows, explodes and reveals a series of Osmond heads, with accompanying names. Said heads start out as photos and then transform into their cartoony avatars.

"Alan! Wayne! Merrill! Jay! Donny! Aaaand Jimmy!"

Maybe it's just the picture quality, but Jimmy seems to turn from a brown-haired boy to a blond, persumably because they all kind of look the same. Still, it seems like giving the one a quality that differentiates him from the other kids, being a smaller child, is unnecessary. Maybe make Merrill blonde, whoever that is.

Anyway, then we see the Osmonds standing on the titles (which look particularly 70's) as "Don't Let One Bad Apple Spoil the Whole Bunch, Girl" plays in the background, so now I don't have to keep track of the lyrics. Yay! Less work.

Anyway, an apple tells us this is a Rankin/Bass production. So that means it is not as good as you remember. Face it, most of those stop motion Christmas specials were terrible. Except Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. Because Santa needed an origin story. Also, the Snow Miser/Heat Miser songs are pretty good in an eitherwise lame special. That's my hot take. Just the way the Heat Miser likes it.

Oh, and don't try to remind me that Rankin/Bass gave us Thundercats. Apart from a super-awesome opening and some neat ideas, it's not a good show.

Anyway, the apple becomes asilhouette and within we see a girl looking lovingly at an apple but when she touches it, it turns into Jimmy's head, much to the girl's well justified horror. And the horror keeps coming when a green apple appears and opens up with Jimmy dancing around... and his head is just... too big. It looks rather disturbing. Like, the last season of Twin Peaks disturbing.



It's like he's dancing around in a nightmare.



Fair enough, Peter. Still upsetting, though. It looks like Handsome Pete was in a boy band.

We see five Osmonds dancing and one is already "the short one." And then it hits me... Is Jimmy an Osmond they made up for the show? A non-canon Osmond who doesn't appear in the 616 Osmond-verse? There are already five Osmonds on the show. Why make up a new one? There's already clearly a "young one". Is it just that I don't know about the delicate Osmond balance that a new component is needed to make the Osmonds work in narrative form? Or is this human child this shows "funny animal character" that all 70's and 80's cartoons needed to have? Is he their Snarf?

The Osmond's then hop aboard a piss-poor looking flying machine which soars off into the sky. It looks like someone ate the Yellow Submarine, shat out of plane and then tried to draw a picture of that plane while suffering a serious head injury so not only is the guy impaired, he's drawing it in a hurry so he can go to the hospital. Jeez, person I just made up, get your priorities straight.

We then see one of the Osmonds pleading with one of the little girls from Little House on the Prairie. Then some Osmond shadows are dancing in front of a woman in... Mexican (?) garb. Then that one Osmond is pleading with a Dutch girl, I think. Then the shadows are dancing in front of an Indian girl. Then the Osmond is pleading with... OK, no, THIS is a Dutch girl. Wait, who was that last girl? Do I not know my stereotypical garb?

I guess this means the premise of the show is one Osmond spends the episode on his knees pleading with women of all ethinicities who are, understandably, not receptive. Maybe this is supposed to appeal to young, female fans trying to imagine themselves with an Osmond at their feet, but if anything it should make the Osmonds appear irritating and not able to accept that someone isn't into them.

The plane flies through the air are transparent foreign girls faces float through the air, representing people that the Osmonds can't seem to win over. Then an apple appears, opens up and all non-Jimmy Osmonds appear to dance. THAT'S RIGHT, JUST STAY IN THE PLANE, JIMMY, THE REAL OSMONDS HAVE WORK TONIGHT! AND STAY OUT OF THE JACUZZI! THAT'S A REWARD FOR A GOOD SHOW, NOT FOR NOBODIES!

They then fly over all the world's landmarks and we finally see one girl fawn over them, a lumpy pink woman. I can't tell if she's supposed to be pink or if that's the terrible video quality.



Then the screen explodes with flowers and we see the episode's title.

Did it make me want to watch it?

Naw, I'm good, thanks.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Jimmy is a real person. Surprisingly absent is the show's actual pet, a dog named Poochie (yep, get yer Frinkiac ready), whose internal monologue we get to hear.

Fan Art
The best I could do is this fan made watch, which I think is just a photoshop job.

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  #385  
Old 11-29-2017, 12:45 PM
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JBear JBear is offline
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Man, in Cats vs. Dogs, I long ago pledged myself to Team Doggo, but fuck that shitty dog. That cat should move out and move in with me instead.
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  #386  
Old 11-29-2017, 02:11 PM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is offline
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Not really relevant to the terrifying Osmond abomination, but the most recent episode of We Got This has an interview with Mark Evanier, who worked at Hanna Barbara through a sizeable chunk of the 70s and 80s which does imply that there was a reason that HBs output through those decades sucked so badly; for one thing Joe Barbara was an absurdly charming guy who could sell anything, regardless of whether or not it involved Augie Doggy or The Grape Ape. And secondly, being children of the Depression H & B couldn't bear the thought of any of of their employees being out of work, so they kept plugging away crapping out substandard productions just to keep their paycheques coming.

Also, the reason The Flintstones had a laugh-track was because it was originally marketed as a sitcom for adults, and laugh tracks were expected in those, but not in cartoons.
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  #387  
Old 12-07-2017, 11:18 AM
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Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
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The Partridge Family 2200 A.D.

There are times when I am convinced that the Internet is joking, only to find that it is not. The fact that there was an animated "Partridge Family in the Future" cartoon sounds totally made up to make a point about the cliches and formulas pervading cartoons in that time.

As for the Partridge Family... I think it's kind of like the Brady Bunch except there's no dad and they are nomads, travelling across the country and singing. Seemed wholesomely boring to me. And if its got anything else going for it, it was probably thrown out the window then they were thrust into the future.



We start with the usual cheesy 70's fan fare, trying in vein to get us excited. We see a bunch of heads flying in succession at us. Presumably, they are all members of the Partridge Family from the original show. Except maybe the robot dog. Again, I have not seen that show.

They are all standing around in future clothes and then the dog rushes in and makes cartoony sounds.

"Cities rising in the sky,
Freeway traffic jetting by."

At this point we just see Jetsons Town. Whatever they called it. How come I know Bedrock but I have no idea where the Jetsons live? Anyway, it's just that. Hanna Barbera didn't bother to create a whole new future for the Partridges so they just live in Jetsons times and probably never meet the Jetsons.

"Future's here for us to see!
It's 2200 A.D.!"

We then see the Partridge Family fly by in a flying car with a tetris color scheme and HOLD UP! LET YOUR DOG IN THE GODDAMNED CAR! I don't care if he is a robot, that is real synthetic animal cruelty.

We then see two of the kids playing tennis... with remote controls! It's like Pong, get it?

Then a flying van appears and a pneumatic tube slowly two of the smaller kids. At first I was debating whether this is supposed to be a "joke" or a scene where the future is supposed to be amazing. Then I realized I have no idea who is driving that van. Are these kids being kidnapped? Thankfully it isn't white and windowless but I remain concerned that we'd get a Diff'rent Strokes-style very special episode.

Then one kid uses a punch card to order a "snack"; a dehydrated pill that turns into a giant dagwood sandwich with a drop of water. But presumably re-using and painting over some old Scooby Doo animation, the dog LITERALLY unhinges its jaw and eats the sandwich. At this point I realize this is a greatest hits of the kind of thing Hanna Barbera does, but I still have NO idea who the Partridges are as characters. MAYBE one of them is the hungry one, but the kids before where just standing. No reaction, they were just living props.

We then see that one lady Partridge who's actress I think I like yet I can't even bring to mind her name. Anyway, she's flying on a future scooter, it starts raining and she creates a bubble. Why not always use the bubble? It's probably REALLY cold that high up.

"It's the Partridge Family,
Showin' us how it's gonna be."

And how it's gonna be seems to be being disintegrated.



But then they are re-integrated as someone remembered "Oh, shit, aren't they a band or something?" and then puts them in a series of bubbles where they play instruments.

"The Partridge Family!
Lovin' it all and havin' a ball
In 2200 A.D.!"

The Partridges are then placed on realy high pedestals at what I can only assume is a fairly impractical venue. How far away are the audience? Showmanship has kept you away from your fans, Partridges. Also, again, it's got to be cold up there.

And then we see a title and the family flying car come in to remind us "this is just the Jetsons again."



Did it make me want to watch it?

It didn't even want to make me see the Jetsons.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Quote:
The Partridge Family had already been recurring characters on a previous Hanna-Barbera production, Goober and the Ghost Chasers.
wait wut?

Also, Keith Partridge had a Venusian friend named Veenie. Is... is that a slur?

Oh, and Shirley Jones, who played the mother in the original series, didn't even know this series existed until years later.

But, if you are wondering, no, I don't know why they are in the future.

Fan Art


This might not be fan art, I'm not sure, but I like that it is in some sort of Twilight Zone tube.




Pretty good. I appreciate that they tried to accentuate Keith's masculine and feminine elements but it feels like he's a glam rocker who cam to the show with the right hair and make-up but the wrong clothes.
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  #388  
Old 12-08-2017, 11:45 AM
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Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
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The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show

Man, didn't I do this one? How many Flintstones cartoon did the 70's need?



We start with Pebbles blowing a whistle, which has a tiny bird inside of it to make the whistling sound. Geez, Bedrock, you couldn't even make a whistle without turning into animal slave labour?

We then see a parade of cave-teens that Pebbles is apparently leading and surprisingly, a lot of the instruments AREN'T animals.

But then Pebbles blows her whistle again and then we swing into "You animals are whatever we SAY you are" mode. Some kind of mammoth blows his trunk like a trumpet. But that doesn't bother me, since he is the one doing it. He's not some prop.

We then see our old favourite: Bamm-Bamm playing a (probably drugged) rhino's mouth like a xylophone (kids are all about the xylophones), the nerd caveman playing a turtle like a drum, and... I wanna say a hipster (either in the old or current sense of the word) caveman playing a two horned rhino (who also looks drugged) like a bass.

"Nothing is as groovy as the boom boom boom
on the band with the Bedrock beat."

At the last part, hip-caveman's string breaks, which probably means that the hip-caveman will have to fish out another of that rhino's tendon's to make a new string.

"Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm and all of the gang."
Even the theme song can't be bothered to trick us that the gang are worth mentioning by name.

"Be sure to call, we'll have a ball whenever we meet."
It took me 5 listens, but I actually think I got this one right.

As for what do we see? In a blue plane, the teens pull up to a brontoburger and we see "the gang". Then the wacky pet characters start dancing (wait, did Dino and EVEN HOPPY opt out of this one? That's not a good sign) and then we see the teens dancing.

"Everything is going for the bedrock bunch!"

The teens then leave the club and climb a brontosaurus so Bamm-Bamm can jump of his head and into a small lake.

"All the gang is here, at the new drag strip"

And we see the gang as a new drag strip, about to race some preppy caveman and his girlfriend (who's class status is probably high, but I can't know for sure), as clam shells light up, indicating when it is time to start the race. A monkey turns on the "go" sign and the preppy guy speeds ahead though while the gang happily putts along. And, like, nothing bad happens to him. No comeuppance.

Don't get me wrong, this preppy guy did nothing wrong, as far as I can see. Even his smug smile is kind of pretty inoffensive. But in so many of these cartoons, the formula includes some guy whose entire existance is to suck and get beat up for it. Not here. He's just a guy who also lives in Bedrock, I guess. So... That's fine, I guess.

We then see a montage of them driving around while showing pictures of them and the pets running around. Then Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm drive by a brontosaurus carrying the Flinstones and the Rubbles.

"You'll see Fred and Barney, too!"
"Yabba Dabba Doo!"

Fred then sort of jump falls off of the bronto in a manner that suggests this MAY have been an accident and/or he doesn't have full control of his body.



I know this is an older Fred but its like he has some sort of hyper-active dementia. I know that's a bit of a leap but the inconsistent editing and Fred's extreme happiness left a weird impression on me.

Anyway, he then lands between Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm (again, leading to my "hyperactive dementia" theory... weren't you and your wife GOING SOMEWHERE when you just suddenly decided to hop onto your friend's kid's ride?

A hypno-spiral then leads us into the title with Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm popping out of irises. Pebbles then blows a whistle. Which, I guess is a thing for her in this show? She's just really into blowing whistles, now?

Did it make me want to watch it?

Flinstones have never been good. Despite the characters being an important part of the cultural landscape, this is a sad truth. Maybe someday we'll see a good Flintstones, but for now, no.

Now I look on Wikipedia to learn more about the show

Quote:
On The Christian Science Monitor's list of "the five dumbest moments" of The Flintstones, writer Chris Gaylord listed the series at number two.
Not where I would have expected to find a Flintstones article, though I think according to creationists, the Flinstones is a work of historical fiction.

Fan Art


I don't consider myself a prude, but something about Bamm Bamm's one nipple is very upsetting.


This is a small complaint considering this is a REALLY good piece of art... but what's with Pebbles' ear? It's looks like a tiny clenched fist.


I'm not sure, but this might be fan art for something else with new dialogue added. Whatever the case, I love it.
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  #389  
Old 12-08-2017, 12:22 PM
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Positronic Brain Positronic Brain is offline
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Quote:
On The Christian Science Monitor's list of "the five dumbest moments" of The Flintstones, writer Chris Gaylord listed the series at number two.
"Alexa, what is the most absurd and oxymoronic yet plausible phrase the English language is capable of producing in, say.... twenty three words?"
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  #390  
Old 12-08-2017, 12:42 PM
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Alex Scott Alex Scott is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
Not where I would have expected to find a Flintstones article, though I think according to creationists, the Flinstones is a work of historical fiction.
The Christian Science Monitor is a legit news outfit that's won 7 Pulitzers. And Christian Science isn't the same as Creationism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wikipedia, "Creationism"
Christian Science, a system of thought and practice derived from the writings of Mary Baker Eddy, interprets the Book of Genesis figuratively rather than literally. It holds that the material world is an illusion, and consequently not created by God: the only real creation is the spiritual realm, of which the material world is a distorted version. Christian Scientists regard the story of the creation in the Book of Genesis as having symbolic rather than literal meaning. According to Christian Science, both creationism and evolution are false from an absolute or "spiritual" point of view, as they both proceed from a (false) belief in the reality of a material universe. However, Christian Scientists do not oppose the teaching of evolution in schools, nor do they demand that alternative accounts be taught: they believe that both material science and literalist theology are concerned with the illusory, mortal and material, rather than the real, immortal and spiritual. With regard to material theories of creation, Eddy showed a preference for Darwin's theory of evolution over others.[91]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
I don't consider myself a prude, but something about Bamm Bamm's one nipple is very upsetting.
I am something of a prude these days, so you can imagine how distressing it is for me.
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