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  #151  
Old 12-08-2016, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
I forgot that Kylie Minogue co-starred once. And she died for no apparent reason and did no singing whatsoever.
You just described 50% of my problems with Street Fighter: The Movie!
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  #152  
Old 11-20-2017, 11:32 AM
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Without intending to, Ive somehow managed to gain access to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in a third form, as it’s part of the the Cinematic Titanic boxset, apparently.

Man... Drunken Santa and Boppo are going to save so many space kids this year!
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  #153  
Old 11-20-2017, 12:10 PM
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It's november still octo calm down
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  #154  
Old 11-20-2017, 01:25 PM
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It is late November! That’s basically already Christmas and that means I’ve Fallen way behind on where I should be w/r/t Xmas Specials
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  #155  
Old 11-25-2017, 08:13 AM
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Hey Octo, watch Christmas Comes To Pacland. I haven't even seen it in its entirety. But I've seen this.



I believe you will find Santa nodding in mute horror is all the recommendation you need
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  #156  
Old 11-25-2017, 08:19 AM
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It’s one of the white-whales of Christmas Specials I’ve forged sought. This will be watched.

The other is the Rambo Christmas special where we learn that Rambo 1. Knows Santa Claus and 2. Convinced him to start delivering toys on Christmas morning.
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  #157  
Old 11-25-2017, 08:34 AM
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Holy. Shit. I also must watch this.
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  #158  
Old 11-25-2017, 11:31 AM
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This thread gets ressurected earlier every year. So crass and commercial.
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  #159  
Old 11-25-2017, 11:44 AM
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This is the latest it’s been resurrected and I’ve still only watched two Specials, neither of which being suitable for mention here!
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  #160  
Old 11-28-2017, 06:31 PM
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Mele Kalikimaka



Glenville Mareth Presents...

SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS!

Hoooo-doggy, we've got a live one here. And it's also perhaps the most widely known Christmas special I've covered in this thread, as it's the subject of one of the most popular episodes of MST3K (featuring one of the all-time greatest Christmas Songs). It also, somehow, manages to undersell just how inane it is, despite that title. How, you ask?

Why let's find out... together!

We open with a news-report from station KID-TV, where they're broadcasting Live from Santas Workshop! Which you might, reasonably think is part of a televised Christmas Special. Particularly given the reporters zest for... I don't want to call them "jokes" but... joke-like statements that he laughs uproariously at, constantly.

The one iron-clad rule of this film is that people treat jokes the same way a drowning man treats a piece of driftwood.

But I digress, this is hard-hitting investigative journalism involving a reporter who wandered straight up to the North Pole in order to get an extremely half-hearted interview from Santa Claus himself (who, at no point through the course of this film, appears to be completely sober) who also reveals some of the exciting new toys he will be delivering this year, such as a toy rocket that uses real rocket fuel (even by 1950s safety standards, this is an extremely bad concept for a toy, Santa) and a doll that represents what Winky the Elf assumes a martian would look like. And it's a pretty good guess because he's completely right.

A fact which is proven to us when the movie smash cuts to friggin' Mars and we are introduced to a Boy Martian and Girl Martian (named Boymar and Girmar, because nobody on Mars is very creative) who are in the midst of a youthful rebellian against their parents. Girmar is played by a tiny Pia Zadora, incidentally. Which is as close as the film comes to celebrity.



Because this is the 1950s and because Mars is a crap-planet, this youthful rebellion takes the form of politely asking permission not to go right to bed because they are engrossed in watching Earth News programs. The 24-hour News Cycle is a problem even beyond the gravity well, it seems.

This news distresses their mother, Mommar, and The King of Mars, Kimar who have who have never even considered such insubordination from a younger generation. Distraught, Kimar consults with the wizened old Martian sage Chochem (who I am genuinely surprised was not named Oldmar) who appears to be on the very brink of death in every scene he's in, and he explains that the children on Mars are restless and acting out (in the blandest way possible) treated as tiny, frail adults right from conception thanks to their giant brain-helmets and what they really need is someone like Santa Claus in order to teach them how to have fun.

So, being a kind and just king, Kimar wrangles up a small invasion force to travel to Earth and kidnap Santa just before Christmas. The invasion force, besides a bunch of interchangeable green doofuses, includes our villain Voldar (handily recognized by his evil mustache, and his openly stated desire to murder everything and everyone) and Droppo, who is nominally the films comic relief. "Comic" being a fairly subjective concept. As is "relief".



If I were being honest, Droppo is more of a "Sorrowed Anguish" than "Comic Relief".

The Martians can't actually tell where Santa is, as they're confused by all the Mall Santas they see everywhere so Kivar (who, I should state, is nominally one of the films good guys) decides to kidnap a couple of small children (Billy and Betty) and force them to give up the location of Santa. Which they do willingly, and then come to regret when they realize they just threw Santa Claus under the bus.

Don't go beating yourself up, kid, it's not like "Santa Claus lives at the North Pole" is a particularly well kept secret.

Anyway, despite (or possibly because) being kept company on the Martian Ship by Droppo, the kids manage to break out of their holding cells in order to find Santas Workshop and warn him that Martians are looking to kidnap him!

There are several problems with this plan; first and foremost being that the North Pole is very extremely cold and a pair of eight-year-olds at the best of times could not survive there for very long.

Also, shortly before freezing to death they are attacked by what is nominally a polar bear! Or someone wearing a very unconvincing polar bear costume. Or what the costume designer thought was a polar bear. Or possible a female lion costume that the director hoped would look like a polar bear costume on screen.



It is stunningly unconvincing. It is elevating Bad Special Effects to an art-form that Edward D Wood Junior would have found embarrassing.

Anyway, luckily for the kids (and unluckily for the man in the furred suit of some sort) the Martians show up and rekidnap them, hoping that they learned their lesson and that there is no hope of them escaping because they are in a frozen tundra where no human can survive.

Again, it is the Nice Martian here who is helping them.

At about that time, the Martians also find Santas Workshop (helpfully, it is the only workshop in the North Pole) and decide that the best way to flush out Kris Kringle is to attack his home with an unstoppable robot monster; TOPO



TOPO, despite his fearsome reputation, is even less effective of an enforcer than he looks and Santa quickly subdues him by treating him like a toy. Why this works I don't know. How it works, too, is a mystery. But sufficed to say, TOPO is no longer a threat, so the Martians just come in, guns-a-blazing and shoot everyone instead, and then drag Santa away.

It's okay, they're all only shot with Stun-Rays, and they'll wake up in an hour or two. Santa is still visibly traumatized by the experience, but still has time to make a crack about this being the only time his wife has ever shut up.

Stay classy, Santa.

Anyway, Santas been successfully kidnapped, as have Those Two Children so the Martians decide to haul their collective asses back to Mars, before Nasa can hunt them down like the dogs they are and explode them for multiple counts of kidnapping. A plot point which, after being raised once, in an extended scene that goes nowhere, and is then never mentioned again.

On their way back to Mars Voldar tried to murder Santa and the kids by blowing them out into the hard vacuum of space, but it doesn't work because the ships airlock is basically a chimney, and if there's one thing Santa is good at manipulating, its chimneys. And... okay movie... props for that.

Also, Santa glumly recites a story about a time he nearly died because he mistook the smokestack on a cruise ship for a chimney and then gets kind of peeved that nobody is laughing at his joyless anecdote. The Little Boy sadly admits that it's a hilarious story, but he's depressed about nearly getting Santa killed and he still blames himself for the whole double-kidnapping thing.

Once the group arrives on Mars, Kivar explains the whole "Our children are morose and thus we need some kind of toy-elf to make them quite moping so damn much" part of the plot to Santa, and offers him a fully automated cybernetic toyshop using advanced Martian technology in exchange for paying some attention to his kids so he won't have to (again... Kimar is the good one) and he also arrests Voldar for trying to escalate the kidnapping charges to murder.

Anyway, Santa is totally fine with this, though he really hates automation and happily sets about bringing Christmas to Mars. Droppo, meanwhile, decides to put on Santas clothes and starts screaming "HO HO HO" instead of talking because he is awful. And, in the same set that the old martian was in previously, and which is apparently MARS JAIL, Voldar plans a jailbreak with the other criminal Martians to discredit and also kill Santa so that the Martians can get back to their former glorious mission of instigating Wars between the Worlds.

So they escape the jail-cave (s-somehow?) and put the Toy Machine on shuffle, so when Santa goes to use it the next morning it puts teddy-bear heads on barbies and makes Lacross sticks instead of equipment for sports that are not Lacross. Also, they kidnap Droppo after mistaking him for Santa, even though Droppo is a skinny green man. And also an annoying idiot.

Voldar then tries to ransom Santa, demanding he get the heck back to Earth and Kimar cedes his right to rule to him, when he realizes that he's been tricked and he just kidnapped some dorkus instead of the real Santa. And Santa and the kids (and Droppo, who escaped his captors with embarassing ease) reprogram the Toy Machine to build enough weapons to defeat Voldar and his henchmen in a scene that just goes on and on in a cacophony of flashing lights and spinning objects that's, honestly, harder to follow than one of the Transformers movies.

Having been defeated, Kimar realizes that he doesn't need to keep Santa on Mars, because he's got Droppo, who is just enough of a dipstick that nobody would care if he abandoned his actual duties in order to scream "HO HO HO" constantly while dressed in an ill-fitting costume. So Santa and the kids are escorted back to Earth (where, presumably the children are brought home, but absolutely no mention of their parents are ever made through the entire film) and then one of the Martians punches Droppo really hard in the stomach while everyone laughs. Like, really... really hard.

The kind of punch that killed Houdini.

And then the credits roll.
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  #161  
Old 11-28-2017, 08:59 PM
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Oh man, I'm ready for this! I'm SO ready for this! I've got Christmas Story, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and two different Rankin-Bass holiday specials!
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  #162  
Old 12-02-2017, 12:30 PM
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You know Allen, and Goldberg
And Baldwin and Giamatti
And Welker and Sasso
And Asner and Carney

But do you recall, the very worst Santa of all?


A Halfhearted Desire to Earn A Paycheque presents...

SANTA... WITH MUSCLES!

Okay peeps, lemme level wit you. Despite what you may or may not read into my synposis of every other special I've covered in this thread, I do genuinely like them all. Except Sonics Christmas Blast, that was genuinely awful. My affection for all the rest, however, is genuine, especially when they get really dang weird and off track.

That being said...

This movie is horseapples. It is borderline unwatchable, the script feels so unfinished that half the events of it seem to be improvised (badly), the third act is so utterly bizarre that it appears that a second movie snuck in to it and Hulk Hogan manages to be even less likeable than he is in real life.

To its credit, while it's completely wasted, the cast is amazingly good; starring Crocodile Dundee himself, Hulk Hogan, as well as Ed Begley Jr., Mila Kunis (in her debut role), Clint Howard, Steve Valentine, and TVs "Weird Old Guy from Fringe" John Noble. The Night sky is dark because all the stars are in Santa... With Muscles.

Anyway, the film opens with a slow pan over the mansion of resident Evil Germophobe Ebner Frost (who has in-ground sprinklers constantly spraying disinfectant mist, and is also played by Ed Begley Junior) while the ingratiatingly cute Aria Curzon (a quick glance at her Wikipedia page shows that she exclusively plays ingratiatingly cute characters) recites her letter to Santa this year; that Dr. Frost has, for unknown reasons, been buying up all the land in town and is threatening to foreclose on the orphanage she lives at. Which is some pretty ham-handed villainy but this movie is intended for six-year-olds so I can let it slide. The letter seems to also end with a request that Santa kill Frost, but I might just be reading too much into that.

Anyway, smashcut to Hulk Hogan enjoying breakfast in his mansion when suddenly the chef and gardener and also John Noble all attack him with cutlery, a leafblower (that makes chainsaw noises) and a silver platter. This, it turns out, is a daily occurrence, because Hulk Hogan is... some kind of insanely wealthy fitness instructor? Or else he sells and markets his own health food? Or something? I have no idea; the movie never really bothers to explain his character except that he is very, very rich and also very very bemuscled and perhaps also famous but that seems to come and go within the script. Anyway, the point of the scene is that Hulk Hogan fights his entire house staff on a daily basis in order to prove his strength and dominance over them. Like the Kingpin from Spider-Man. I'm not saying that Hulk Hogan also murders them if they prove to either be too skilled (in order to eliminate a possible rival) or not skilled enough (because he has no time for the weak), but given how miserable everyone is to get to beat up their boss daily, I'm not saying he doesn't either.

Anyway, after a fun morning spent beating up "the poors", Hulk Hogan then forces his servants to ride dune buggies and dirt-bikes to a paintball arena so he can then spend the rest of his day pretending to gun them down. And, because there is a police car driven by Clint Howard on the same road, he also decides to try to run him off the road, resulting in a massive retaliatory police chase.

And then we cut away to be introduced to our villains; Ed Begley Juniors Mr. Frost has kidnapped a man and is torturing him into selling his property by introducing him to his Mad Scientist Henchmen; Dr. Blight (doctor who likes punching people), Dr. Vial (Biochemist, who just smells very bad all the time), Dr. Flint (Geologist who wants to murder people with hammers, I have no idea why a hypochondriac land-developer would hire one of those) and Dr. Wattz (Professor of... electrocution?). So the torture works and then Frost announces loudly, to nobody, that the only property he needs now is the orphanage.

Hulk Hogan was having fun up to this point, but he also realizes that attempting to murder a highway patrolman for no reason after a morning spent beating up his employees wouldn't really reflect well on him in a trial, so he tries to head into a shopping mall to escape, disguising himself as a Mall Santa along the way. And this plan almost works except that, in his flight, he also gets a whack on the head and thus, also immediately contracts amnesia!

But, since he's wearing a Santa suit, he comes to the conclusion that he must be the real Santa Claus. Sometimes. Sometimes he doesn't think he's Santa Claus, and he's just some guy wearing a Santa costume. It depends on which of those two the scriptwriter remembered was the case. Exacerbating this situation is Lenny (played by... the guy who played doofus-neighbor Bob on That '70s Show, and likely nothing else you've ever seen), a down-on-his-luck conman who is apparently the only person to recognize Hulk Hogan as an insanely wealthy bodybuilder and thus decides to rob him of his credit cards to pay back the debt he owes to Ebner Frost (why he owes money to Frost is never explained). He gets Hulk Hogan a job as the Mall Santa he's already dressed for while he tries (and fails) to steal Hulks money with his ATM card.

Which makes sense because he only has the card, he doesn't know the PIN number. Also this particular ATM requires a fingerprint, instead of a number. And also-also, I feel pretty confidant that his net worth isn't stored in his chequing account.

Anyway, Santa né Hulk enjoys his day spent having children list their demans at him when he spies a couple of hoodlums trying to steal the Salvation Army cash-bucket (in a scene that is nominally hilarious, as the bucket is much too large to steal), and he then decides to beat them insensate with his inhuman strength and fighting skill. Which apparently did not fade any with his concussion or amnesia.

Having a grown man dressed as Santa beat a pair of teenagers like a side of beef in a crowded shopping mall immediately makes him a hero to everyone nearby, so Lenny gets him out of there quickly, assuming that if someone were to recognize Santa as a local celebrity, he would lose his chance to rob him, and, when leaving the mall, Santa meets and befriends Clayton (played by Garret Morris, best known as "President of the Institute for the Hard of Hearing" bits on the early days of SNL), the caretaker of the local orphanage whose residents were in line to meet Santa when he opted to go all Death Wish on some children, and decides to take him home.

At the Orphanage, Santa meets the only remaining orphans Horrible Little Boy, Ingratiatingly Cute Little Girl and Mila Kunis, who explain that every other kid at the orphanage have been adopted, and that they are left behind because "They're the losers". Now... The Little Boy is Horrible, so no wonder nobody wanted that little jerk, but, as I'm lead to understand, an ingratiangly cute 5-year-old is the gold-standard for orphanage residents; they sell like hotcakes, and Mila Kunis is shown to be incredibly smart, friendly and talented for a child her age so why nobody wanted to adopt them is a mystery. I'm assuming they start fires.

At this point the Hench-Scientists show up at the door and Santa decides to just beat the garbage out of them before they can say anything. Oddly, Dr. Blight (the leader of the henchs) seems to focus more on the fact that he's fighting Santa Claus than the fact that he's fighting an insanely buff professional wrestler, and is surprised that he loses quite easily, and so they run away in their getaway vehicle (an ice-cream truck that plays the themesong to the Alfred Hitchcock Theater, a joke I'm sure all the 6-year-olds loved).

The next morning, Santa finds the Ingratiatingly Cute Child in the orphanages church where he's singing a song that makes the windows glow. She explains that this is because the church is magical and full of fairies. You might, perhaps not unreasonably, think that if a church is full of unexplained glowing lights when children sing in it, it it might have been been blamed on angels or something, and certainly would attract tourism if nothing else, but nope... it's apparently only this one little girl whose ever noticed it, and she says it's fairies.

It's also foreshadowing the completely bonkers third act, so keep that under your hat. Anyway, the next little chunk of the movie is mostly filler (Lenny tries to steal Santas fingerprints so he can use the ATM, fails because it was the wrong finger, and then ceases trying, and a local reporter wants an interview with the Santa Claus that's been beating the crap out of people in order to congratulate him), and then the horrible little boy gets the idea to sneak into Frosts mansion to figure out why he's trying to buy all the property in the city, and Santa goes off to rescue him, learning (as they do) that he didn't care about the rest of the city, he only wanted the land underneath the orphanage. Back at the orphanage they reveal this bit on intel and everyone does a bit of blue-sky brainstorming, wondering what's under the orphanage that's so important.

And, at this point, after quite a few bad guesses, one of the characters pipes up to mention that there IS that mysterious ancient vaulted door with the combination lock in the underground catacombs, so it might have something to do with that.

Not as a joke or anything, its existence apparently just slipped everyones mind.

So Santa goes down and, despite his amnesia, he somehow manages to know exactly what the combination to the massive ancient stone archway is, and find that it's full of magical, glowing crystals.

This is QUITE the swerve that the plot has taken!

As they head back upstairs, knowing that their financial troubles are over as it's apparently a sellers market on Magical Glowing Crystals, they learn that their immediate troubles have only gotten worse as Frost has agreed to cancel Lennys mysterious debt in exchange for letting his henchmen into the orphanage and Dr. Blight fights Santa again, this time managing to kick him off a roof and into a grabage truck, where a second blow-to-the-head reverses his amnesia and gives him a second concussion (in, two days... I think that should kill you). The garbage men, for their part, recognize Santa as Hulk Hogan dump him back at his mansion, where John Noble puts him back to bed, still in his Santa costume. Specifically so, when Hulk wakes up he can say "Oh, what a weird dream" then look down to see he's dressed like Santa, and scream like he just found a hundred spiders in his bed.

Meanwhile, Dr. Frost, donning a hazmat suit (because he's scared of germs, you see) leads his hench-scientists into the orphanage and just declares himself the new owner and decides to force the children to work as miners harvesting the magical crystals, going to far as giving them personally sized helmets and tiny, tiny pickaxes. And, feeling like a real heel, Lenny calls up Hulk Hogan to own up to his mistakes and ask Hulk to come and save the orphanage.

Hulk, to his credit (well... "credit") realizes he felt more satisfied as a vigilante crime-fighter then he did as a guy who beat his employees up every single day, gathers up the rest of his household staff to help him save the orphanage; running into Clint Howard again and again nearly running him off the road, forcing Clint to put out an APB that makes the movie suddenly turn into the end of Blues Brothers as every single police officer in town chases down Hulk Hogan, who is doing his damnedest to kill them all, culminating in a police officer shooting a rocket launcher at him (he misses and hits Clint Howard instead, who didn't suffer anything worse than getting a face full of soot).

Back at the Orphanage, Hulk Hogan manages to free the kids ("You're not Santa... you're Better!", says the little girl) and then fights his way through all the Hench-Scientists. Except Dr. Wattz, because he wouldn't hit a girl. Lenny would, however, and apparently murders her by dousing her electric gauntlets with water. Ultimately, Hulk Hogan meets Ed Begeley Junior in the magical crystal chamber in the catacombs, where he learns that 1. He used to be an orphan who lived in this same orphanage and just plum forgot about it entirely and 2. He and Frost used to be best friends.

And then they get into a sword fight with magical crystals.

Again, the first hour of this movie was about a mean millionaire learning to be nice after being forced to act as Santa Claus. It ends with a sword fight with magical crystals.

Anyway, being the hero (or at least, the protagonist), Hulk wins, but he winds up smashing so many crystals that they all explode, and everyone runs out of the orphanage before it can collapse on itself like the end of Poltergeist, and all the police are outside waiting to arrest Frost and his henchmen, having apparently gotten over the whole part where Hulk Hogan tried to murder police officers for fun several times.

Then, to show how much of a changed man he is, Hulk Hogan adopts ALL the children at the orphanage! Including quite a few who had not appeared previously in the film! And he also adopts Lenny! And Elderly Man, Garret Morris! And then they all laugh at the Scientists who are working on the highway patrol.

Smash Cut to Credits!
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  #163  
Old 12-02-2017, 12:37 PM
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Wait wait wait, is "Santa with Muscles" the actual film title?
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  #164  
Old 12-02-2017, 12:43 PM
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  #165  
Old 12-02-2017, 01:45 PM
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I think that Octo just traveled back in time to make sure it was named that.
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  #166  
Old 12-02-2017, 07:40 PM
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I think that Octo just traveled back in time to make sure it was named that.
Oh great... time loop shenanigans...

The worst kind of shenanigans.
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  #167  
Old 12-04-2017, 07:20 PM
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Rather than going over them in detail, I'm going to compare and contrast every version of A Christmas Carol that I watch. Since there's been, like, a million-billion different versions of that and I wind up watching a whole lot of them every year. Here's what I've watched so far;

The Alister Sims Version: This ions is Octodads favorite, as it s the one he watched the most when he was wee, but I honestly have to rank it lowest. Not that there's any particular fault with it, mind (and Sims really sells being a bitter old miser) so much as it plays things way too safely. It really doesn't do anything that isn't in the original text (or at least nothing notable), and this one seems to be the version every other telling is based off of. My only real complain is less of a problem with the film and more a complaint about the DVD transfer as there are no subtitles and the audio is badly garbled; especially on the ghosts. The reverb makes them totally unintelligible.

Bea is & Butthead: Huh-huh-humbug, on the other hand, is a thing of Crass stupidity. As is to be expected from the series. And it is beautiful. Beavis falls asleep at work and has a dream of the future where he is the manager of the Burger World, and his only employee is his principal, and he then leaves work early so he can enjoy a lonely Christmas Day watching porn, which constantly gets interrupted by the Ghosts of Christmas. Beavis repeatedly fails to pay attention to the things the ghosts show him and then, in the midst of a dream sequence within a dream sequence, has another dream sequence where he tells the Ghost of Christmas Future what the future will really be like (the exact same as it is presently, except everyone is dressed in Star Trek uniforms and Beavis is a Terminator skeleton). He then wakes up and tells Butthead that the future is a wonderful place because he will be the manager and thus free to watch VHS pornography whenever he wants, and then says that working on Christmas is awesome because you can sleep on the job and nobody cares.

I am plainly underselling it.

Doctor Who also had a telling that was literally called "A Christmas Carol" and it's easily one of my favorite of the Christmas Specials. Basic thrust of the story is largely unchanged except that an overexcited weirdo with a time machine takes the place of the ghosts, less by showing an old man the error of his ways so much as by changing history so he doesn't grow up to be such a damn jerk. Also flying sharks are involved. I didn't realize that was what was missing from the original story, but, on the other hand, I also can't really think of any stories not improved by a flying shark.
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  #168  
Old 12-04-2017, 07:29 PM
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I didn't realize that was what was missing from the original story, but, on the other hand, I also can't really think of any stories not improved by a flying shark.
Flying sharks are kinda like Muppets that way.
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  #169  
Old 12-04-2017, 09:09 PM
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Flying sharks are kinda like Muppets that way.
Hmm... Has there ever been a flying shark Muppet?
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  #170  
Old 12-06-2017, 08:20 AM
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Naturally, as soon as I thought I had a good idea, the most recent We Got This podcast covered the exact same ground.

I feel vindicated that Hal and I share the same opinions re: Muppet Christmas Carol (good Christmas movie, Bad Muppet Movie) but they also came down the opposite of me on the Alister Sims one, saying it was the best, as opposed to Scrooged, the obvious correct answer.
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Old 12-06-2017, 08:36 AM
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Watched Christmas Vacation last night. What a damn great movie.
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  #172  
Old 12-06-2017, 08:38 AM
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The older I get, the more I appreciate the Clark bits instead of the slapstick.
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  #173  
Old 12-06-2017, 10:05 AM
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I feel vindicated that Hal and I share the same opinions re: Muppet Christmas Carol (good Christmas movie, Bad Muppet Movie)
THE HELL YOU SAY
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  #174  
Old 12-06-2017, 10:06 AM
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Muppet Christmas Carol is a good Muppet Movie and the best non-Die Hard Christmas Movie ever made.
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  #175  
Old 12-06-2017, 10:23 AM
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Quote:
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Naturally, as soon as I thought I had a good idea, the most recent We Got This podcast covered the exact same ground.
Who cares keep going
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  #176  
Old 12-06-2017, 10:36 AM
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Oh I'm going to keep going!

American Dads version; The Greatest Christmas Story Never Told begins as a Christmas Carol adaptation that quickly and irrevocably shifts gears into being a Sound of Thunder homage. It begins with Stan being upset with those durn SJWs waging their war on Christmas which he blames on Jane Fonda. That night he gets visited by the ghost of Christmas Past (played by Michelle, the failure angle who only shows up in the American Dad Christmas episodes) who takes him back in time to the 70s to show him the true meaning of Christmas. And which causes Stan to instead run off and try to change history by killing Jane Fonda before she can become a liberal figurehead. Instead he winds up getting Martin Scorses to start living clean and sober and, as a result, changes history so that Walter Mondale surrenders the US to Russia. Then Stan needs to try to correct history by first remaking Taxi Driver and then filling in for Walter Hinkley.

There is little in this world quite like the American Dad Christmas Special Alternaverse
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  #177  
Old 12-06-2017, 10:59 AM
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They're a heck of a thing that is for sure.

The best part is stan screaming Merry Christmas fade to white
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  #178  
Old 12-06-2017, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
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They're a heck of a thing that is for sure.

The best part is stan screaming Merry Christmas fade to white
"Look, if a mother loses her children in a shopping mall, do you blame the mom? No... NO YOU DON'T! YOU BLAME THE MALL!"
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  #179  
Old 12-06-2017, 04:29 PM
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Suddenly, Octo makes a lot more sense...
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  #180  
Old 12-06-2017, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
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Muppet Christmas Carol is a good Muppet Movie and the best non-Die Hard Christmas Movie not starring Batman ever made.
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christmas special , ho ho ho , merry crimnus , murray crimmus , octo-good

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