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Old 09-14-2017, 10:34 AM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is online now
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Default Digital Down-Low for 09/14/2017: Speedrun to Extinction

For every video game you buy, we pledge to bury three new ones!

This week is starting off with Dishonored: Death of the Outsider, a Dishonored 2 expansion so thorough they decided to make it a whole game; like Wolfenstein: The Old Blood, or Saints Row: Gat out of Hell. It takes the tried and true magical murder-man gameplay of the Dishonored series and slaps it on to Some New Guy (didn't play 2 yet, so no spoilers, please) and gives him the job of assassinating the devil.

Which puts this game in the same ballpark as Sunday Funday, or Bible Adventures, if you think about it.

I was alllll ready to sigh and say "AGAIN?!?" when I saw "Bloody Zombies" was next on the PSN store but a glance at the screenshots told me that this was NOT a team-based zombie shooting FPS but was, in truth, a 4-player beat-em-up.

Granted, one where you're beating on zombies instead of street thugs, and probably without the unintentional hilarity of Zombie Revenge on Dreamcast, but I'll take what I can get.

It's also very British, thus making the use of "bloody" in the title a pun.

Dreambreak looks... kind of like a combination of Out of this World and the SNES Shadowrun, where you're some guy framed for murder in a cyberpunk Russia (oh... OH... "Siberpunk"). Trailer made me say "Oh, heeeeeeey", and I liked both those games I cited as its components, so it should stand to reason they'd taste good together.

You know, like how raw eggs, flour and fire taste middling-at-best separated, but you slap them together just right and you get a birthday cake.

I was all set up to say that Get Over Here was a party game based on Scorpion from Mortal Kombat, and then feign disappointment when it turned out it wasn't.

Then I watched a trailer and... well...

I mean, they don't actually use Scorpion for copyright reasons, but it's absolutely a party game based on grabbing people with grappling hooks.

This is why I don't do research; because sometimes I'm completely right without bothering with it!

Happy Dungeons is a free-to-play dungeon crawler and, to its credit, the trailer showed a lot of actual game-play, rather than a cinematic designed to lay out the backstory.

I've seen enough trailers for this kind of game making these threads that this comes as a welcome surprise.

However, it's a Free To Play Dungeon Crawler, so it's probably going to be fun for perhaps ten minutes, then expect you to pony up some cash if you expect to continue having fun beyond the tutorial area.

Maize is a puzzley walk-em-up where you're a Russian Teddy Ruxpin (boy, lots of Russians in this weeks games) in an abandoned government test site full of mutant corn-people.

It promises CHUCKS AND YUKS out the WAZOO!

It seems kind of British, but I don't know if it is.

Planet of the Eyes is a platformer about a spunky little roboman on a planet that hates him and wants to kill him stone dead. Despite the title, the trailer did not seem particularly eyeball-heavy. I call shenanigans!

Samurai Shodown V Special is a VERY SPECIAL Showdown for samurai. I didn't play any previous SamSho games, so I can't tell you how good this is, and the only New Content for this version doesn't seem very... noteworthy (online play and character galleries are kind of gimmes at this point). But, as always, this is a game where a guy has a GOOD DOG as a special move, so he's obviously the only character worth using.

Time Recoil is a twin sticky shooter where every time you murd a peep, time slows down to assist with further peep-murdin'. Kind of like a reverse Superhot. And the trailer kind of reminded me of Crusader: No Remorse.

In conclusion; use a stick to point a gun and then shoot a BAD LAD.

Tooth and Tail is an RTS set in an animal farm.

Err... wait... that's ambiguous.

I mean, Animal Farm, the novel popularized by the Oingo Boingo song, No Spill Blood, where the Russian Revolution is fought with varmints who walk on two legs, not on four.

Trulon The Shadow Engine is an RPG of the PS1-iest vintage. Maybe not one of the more prominent PS1-era JRPGs, but, like, a Shadow Madness, perhaps. Or Legend of Legaia. You know, not great but perfectly servicable.

In this case, your combat is handled via a deck of cards. That's something!

Ys VIII: Lacrimosa of DANA is also an RPG from the far off lands of J, but this one is an Action RPG. And it's offering considerably higher production values than you might expect from the Ys series, but somethings hardly change as Everyones Favorite Quiet Fella, Adol Cristian crashes a boat, winds up in a magical land and is going to make a blue haired lady fall in love with him and also murder the hell out of the local Evil God.

This time there seems to be a focus on killing magical dinosaurs!

This weeks Neo-Geo games (err... besides Samurai Shodown) are The Ninja Warriors, another game I've never played. The trailer, however indicates it's got a pretty Daft Punky soundtrack, and is otherwise very much in the Kung Fu Master style, just with more level variety. The (interminable) trailer concludes with one ninjas entire head getting blown off and him continuing to fight with a skeleton head. So he's either Terminator or else Scorpion. Either of those is a pretty compelling selling point, so it would, of course, be at the 3:55 mark of a 4 minute trailer.

Senko no Ronde 2 is, unexpectedly, a game I can speak about since I played the original on the 360 many years ago! It's a competitive shmup, like all them toe-hoes, except instead of playing as anime girls, you're playing as anime robots! The arcade mode of the first game told the tale of a baby with such a loud and annoying cry that everyone up and left the Earth rather than deal with it. How this translated to justification for a giant robot laser-duel tournament, I don't recall, but any way you slice it, that's some bad child care.

Moving on to the eShop, we begin with Quest of Dungeons, a Rogue-em-up that';s been on every other platform already, so why not add another one to the list. It's not bad, and I can play it with but a single hand, should I have either a snack I don't want on my precious gamecon or if I have a doggy who is eager for scritches.

Thats all I got, really. It offers convenient single-handed play.

Kingdoms: New Lands is a strategy game of some stripe. You are a King, you have a Horse and some cash, and then the game description just kind of reiterates those facts, saying to figure it out yourself.

I appreciate that kind of open-source approach to video game descriptions. Means that, no matter what, I can't be wrong.

This is a game where the most loyal vassal of The King of the Horses owes money to the Horse Mob, and if he can't pay up, he's going to the glue factory but, UH OH, the King is too generous and overtips for everything! Can you get the Nice King to the Mob with the Horses money before its too late?!?

Robonauts is a shooty-style sidescrolling platformer where you're a wee roboman on a comparably tiny planet that's all Mario Galaxy-y with its jumping physics.

And that's all well and good, but it presents the very real problem of trying to find a Futurama screenshot that depicts a robot inflicting violence.

Spinmaster is the Switchs Neo-Geo release this week, a platformer about the Canadian toy-manufacturer, responsible for Bakugan, Air Hogs, and Spy gear, which Wikipedia describes as "a line of spy-themed toys and role play items that aim to empower and inspire kids to become spies themselves."

I am reasonably sure I am wrong about this assessment.

On the 3DS we have the biggest release of the month by far (by Talking Time standards, at least) with Metroid: Samus Returns, a gussied all to Hell and back remake of the one Metroid game in most need of some gussying; Metroid 2. Take Old Mr. No-Crawl himself, Metroid, down to a mysterious space planet and bring about the complete extinction of every last cock-a-doodie jellyfish you see.

You just go down there and wipe out those apex predators!

Nothing could possibly go wrong!

Nope, nothing peace for the galaxy once you clear those little gross bugs out.

Also on the 3DS, and rather more of a surprise announcement, is Minecraft.

Everyone's familiar with Minecraft, right?

I can just move on?

I can? Okay great.

The last 3DS game this week is...


Oh GOD NO...

No no no no no.


I thought I was free...


It's Percys Predicament Deluxe

I missed you, Boss. I missed... this.


The WiiU got Earthlock: Festival of Magic, a JRPG that came out to come variable acclaim on the PS4 a little while ago. For the life of me, I can not recall whether it was Good Acclaim (like for getting an A in school, or Jaws on the NES) or Bad Acclaim (for turning your father into a jack-in-the-box, or Arcades Revenge)

Anf finally the WiiU got another TG-16 game. Which, luckily, is again, not one of the ones I'm particularly jazzed up for, so I can just leave it sitting there, collecting dust; it's Vigilante, which appears to be Kung Fu master, just greatly gussied up. Far moreso than Ninja Warriors was.

And we're done. Here's something to consider; what does it say about Axel Rose' home-life that someones hair reminds him as a warm safe place he'd lie in as a child?
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Old 09-14-2017, 11:23 AM
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Daikaiju Daikaiju is offline
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Old 09-14-2017, 11:39 AM
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Patrick Patrick is online now
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Twist: the new guy from Dishonored is Billie Lurk, a lady who was in the DLC for the first game.
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Old 09-14-2017, 11:41 AM
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muteKi muteKi is offline
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apparently this percy game is actually a variant on the super monkey ball formula. it seems interesting but that is because I have a fondness for monkey ball variants
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Old 09-14-2017, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Daikaiju View Post

I mean, the new cthonic evil is the old cthonic evil. It only makes sense.
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Old 09-16-2017, 06:22 AM
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Kishi Kishi is offline
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The Ninja Warriors has nothing to do with the Neo Geo (it predated it by three years, for one thing). Taito developed it on custom hardware for displaying an extra-wide image across three monitors (similar to Darius, Darius II, and Konami's X-Men). This release is notable for being the first time it's been ported to anything without being significantly downsized!
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Old 09-16-2017, 06:39 AM
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Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is online now
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Ahh, when I see an arcade release lately I just automatically assume it's a Neo Geo port.

Those salad days are over, it seems.
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Old 09-16-2017, 08:06 AM
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ArugulaZ ArugulaZ is offline
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You can play that game on MAME with multiple monitors, should you be so inclined. Kind of pointless now that today's displays are so high resolution, but the option is there!
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Old 09-16-2017, 03:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Daikaiju View Post

No one else voted for Percy in the Mario thread and now look what happened.
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avoid the troid , digital downloads , metroidisagirl!? , octo does not do research

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