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  #1  
Old 06-22-2015, 01:46 AM
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Default Song lyrics that are fundamentally flawed

"With the lights out, it's less dangerous". False. I can think of myriad situations in which the lights being out would make things significantly MORE dangerous, but none whatsoever for the opposite.

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Still on Nirvana, Come As You Are's refrain "And I swear that I don't have a gun" is, with the benefit of hindsight, a manifest lie.

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Thin Lizzy, now. "Tonight there's going to be a Jailbreak, somewhere in this town". I wonder where that could be? Probably a the jail. Think on, Thin Lizzy. (Though, this could have been a premonition about iPhones)

---

"Should I stay or should I go now?
Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double."

Then you should go, and reduce the amount of trouble by 50%. It's not rocket science.

---

ABC's The Look Of Love; "If you judge a book by the cover, then you judge a look by the lover." Surely the cover is analogous to the look, not the lover. So it should be "If you judge a book by the cover, then from the look you judge the lover" which doesn't scan as well but wouldn't have annoyed me for nearly thirty years.

---

What lyrics do you know are fucking wrong
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  #2  
Old 06-22-2015, 01:56 AM
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Straight Outta Compton: Ice Cube is not from Compton, he's from South Central.

From the same album, in Express yourself, by Dr. Dre:
"I still express, yo I don't smoke weed or sess
Cause its known to give a brother brain damage
And brain damage on the mic don't manage nuttin'"

C'mon, man, you named solo album "The Chronic"
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  #3  
Old 06-22-2015, 02:07 AM
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Run-DMC - Rock Box

'Cause Calvin Klein's no friend of mine
Don't want nobody's name on my behind
Lee on my legs, sneakers on my feet
D by my side, and Jay with the beat


Wearing Lee jeans puts someone's name on your behind as much as Calvin Klein jeans do—specifically the founder of the H.D. Lee Mercantile Company, Harry David Lee (1849-1928).


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Old 06-22-2015, 09:24 AM
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This song is so grossly wrong I can't even...
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Old 06-22-2015, 09:39 AM
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B-52's, Love Shack.

"If you see a faded sign at the side of the road that says 15 miles to the Love Shack ..."

... then what? THEN WHAT?! YOU DID NOT COMPLETE THE CLAUSE, FRED SCHNEIDER!

And before anyone mentions Smooth Operator, LA to Chicago is technically a coast to a coast (Pacific Ocean to Lake Michigan). Why's it gotta be an ocean?
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Old 06-22-2015, 11:38 AM
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I want to say every line of LFO's Summer Girls, but is so beautfiully insipid I'm not sure I feel comfortable calling it "wrong."
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Old 06-22-2015, 11:44 AM
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Default Motown has a self-esteem problem

I know you wanna leave me,
but I refuse to let you go
If I have to beg and plead for your sympathy,
I don't mind coz' you mean that much to me


Buddy, you're trying to hold on to a shitty relationship that is already over. Give it up.

Now I heard a cryin' man,
is half a man with no sense of pride


Your role models are assholes.

But if I have to cry to keep you,
I don't mind weepin' if it'll keep you by my side


Your reliance on emotional manipulation is pathetic and demeaning to everyone involved in this sordid affair.

If I have to sleep on your doorstep
all night and day just to keep you from walkin' away
let your friends laugh, even this I can stand
cause I want to keep you any way I can


You have no concept of what it means to be a real person, and you're doing all this for a someone with little to no respect for you and has some really shitty friends (though I'm not sure I disagree with their sentiment).

Now I've gotta love so deep in the pit of my heart
And each day it grows more and more
I'm not ashamed to come and plead to you baby
If pleadin' keeps you from walkin' out that door


You need to take a look at the person actually in front of you instead of the illusion you're projecting all your emotions onto. Are you really so entranced with someone who you can convince to stick around by debasing yourself?

Ain't too proud to beg, sweet darlin
Please don't leave me girl, don't you go
Ain't to proud to plead, baby, baby
Please don't leave me, girl, don't you go


This is not the basis for a happy future.
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Old 06-22-2015, 10:52 PM
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If we're talking motown...

Quote:
You've got a smile so bright, you know you could have been a candle
I'm holding you so tight, you know you could have been a handle
The way you swept me off my feet, you know you could have been a broom
The way you smell so sweet, you know you could have been some perfume
It takes four lines to get to something that's almost romantic. And, uh, handle?
Quote:
As pretty as you are, you know you could have been a flower
If good looks was a minute, you know that you could be an hour
The way you stole my heart, you know you could have been a crook
And baby you're so smart, you know you could have been a schoolbook
Verse two gets off to a more conventional start before taking a turn into very confusing metaphor town.
Quote:
You made my heart so rich, you know you could have been some money
And baby you're so sweet, you know you could have been some honey
"Some money?" Not even a lot of money, just... Some. Are you negging me, The Temptations?
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Old 06-23-2015, 09:09 AM
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I'll let someone else handle I'll Be Around if they want, but FOR FUCK'S SAKE THROW AWAY THAT PEDESTAL
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  #10  
Old 06-23-2015, 09:29 AM
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I posit that Ice Cube is not declaring that he is from Compton so much as he is coming from that direction.
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Old 06-23-2015, 09:29 AM
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Default DISCLAIMER: THIS IS CURRENTLY MY FAVORITE SONG OF ALL SONGS EVER.



Burn my Mona Lisa
I would like another chance
To put stars in her eyes,
Fire pipes in the sky
And brass knuckles on her hands.
She can breathe
She can see
When you’re not watching.


Woah bro. First of all you didn't paint the Mona Lisa, Leonardo Da Vinci Did. Also It cannot breathe or see, even when I am not watching. Because It is a painting, and thus an inanimate object.

Throw away my letters
I would like another shot
To put a shine in your smile
Make your nights worthwhile
Like I’m with you when I’m not
I disappear and reappear.
I’m made of magic.


Not too much wrong here, except his final claims of teleportation and being "made of magic". Even if Jeff Rosenstock has figured out the mechanics of teleportation, his doing so would make it a documented physical occurrence, capable of being described with science, not "Magic".

Shred yr photo albums
They’re not gonna save anything.
Petty moments in a grave.


This is actually true. Well done Jeff. Looks like you're finally coming around!

Toss yr newborn baby.
He deserves a better path
Than an Ambien dream
Filled with Vicodin dreams
Predetermined to relapse
Spending weekends in the bath.
He can breathe through the cheeks of the tauntaun.


I TAKE IT BACK. Jeff that is ABSOLUTELY NOT how to take care of a newborn baby. Ambien and Vicoden? Who on earth allowed you to take care of their kid! I'm calling child services Jeff.

Also Star Wars is not real Jeff. That's not really that important compared to the whole newborn baby thing but now I'm worried that you might not actually know.
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  #12  
Old 06-24-2015, 09:17 AM
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If everybody already knows that the bird is the word, why bother releasing a song that communicates only that fact?
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Old 06-24-2015, 10:52 AM
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You also can't walk a hundred paces in the US without stepping over a Coca-Cola can or McDonalds wrapper, yet here we are
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  #14  
Old 06-24-2015, 04:07 PM
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Let me narrow the field a bit: What song lyrics aren't fundamentally flawed?
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Old 06-24-2015, 04:42 PM
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Old 06-24-2015, 04:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madhair60 View Post
"With the lights out, it's less dangerous". False. I can think of myriad situations in which the lights being out would make things significantly MORE dangerous, but none whatsoever for the opposite.
Clearly you've never suffered from carbonite hiberation sickness, which renders your eyes vulnerable to extremely bright lights and can result in blindness.
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Old 06-24-2015, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
Let me narrow the field a bit: What song lyrics aren't fundamentally flawed?
We Didn't Start the Fire.
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  #18  
Old 06-24-2015, 08:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torzelbaum View Post
We Didn't Start the Fire.
Well yeah, I guess I can see Billy Joel not being able to take any more Cola Wars. We'd all seen enough, by that point.
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  #19  
Old 06-25-2015, 02:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parish View Post
Clearly you've never suffered from carbonite hiberation sickness, which renders your eyes vulnerable to extremely bright lights and can result in blindness.
That would explain why the original demo tape goes "With the lights out, it's less dangerous/ due to carbonite, hibernation sickness"
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  #20  
Old 06-28-2015, 06:29 AM
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"Concrete jungle where dreams are made of"
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  #21  
Old 06-28-2015, 09:08 AM
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Nobody's put in for "Room without a roof" yet?

That is not a room.
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  #22  
Old 06-28-2015, 11:14 AM
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there are a great many problems that are, if anything, excacerbated by whipping them.

Such as the development of a painful rash, income tax troubles, and assault charges.
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  #23  
Old 06-28-2015, 03:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
there are a great many problems that are, if anything, excacerbated by whipping them.

Such as the development of a painful rash, income tax troubles, and assault charges.
Also less helpful than advertised: Checking out the hook while the DJ revolves it.
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  #24  
Old 06-28-2015, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
there are a great many problems that are, if anything, excacerbated by whipping them.

Such as the development of a painful rash, income tax troubles, and assault charges.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanagi View Post
Also less helpful than advertised: Checking out the hook while the DJ revolves it.
You guys just must be doing it wrong?
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  #25  
Old 06-28-2015, 08:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanagi View Post
Also less helpful than advertised: Checking out the hook while the DJ revolves it.
For what it's worth, I think the idea here is that Vanilla Ice will solve your problem and that you check out the hook while you're waiting for him. The two are necessarily related; checking out the hook is just what you do to kill time while Vanilla solves problems.
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  #26  
Old 06-29-2015, 08:42 PM
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"I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes."

If your eyes weren't already open, how did you see the sign in the first place?
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  #27  
Old 06-29-2015, 10:29 PM
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Mind's eye, dude.
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  #28  
Old 06-30-2015, 12:51 AM
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2015. Vanilla Ice snaps bolt upright in bed, clutching his head.

"SHIT! SHIT! I MEANT "CONGREGATE"! I BET EVERYONE THINKS I'M AN IDIOT!"
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  #29  
Old 06-30-2015, 04:49 AM
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Vain or not, the song actually is about me. So I don't know what you're going on about.
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  #30  
Old 06-30-2015, 04:51 AM
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Cypress hill, I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure that there are other ways to look trendy in a Bentley.
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