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  #1  
Old 11-19-2016, 02:52 PM
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Default Dear Talking Time:

Does ice cream contain cow DNA? I tried googling it, but apparently nobody has ever asked before. I mean, it should, right? I mean, it's made from cow milk, and that is produced by a cows body so there should be some in there. If I eat too much ice cream, do I run the risk of becoming a Minotaur? Or at least of having my body start rejecting the cow dna and I start to suffer from graft vs. Host syndrome?

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-Curious in Canada
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Old 11-19-2016, 04:23 PM
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Dear Curious,

No woman or gay man has turned into a man/different man to date. We conclude that you are most likely safe from consumption based DNA alteration.

Sincerely,
Talking Time
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  #3  
Old 11-19-2016, 04:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Does ice cream contain cow DNA? I tried googling it, but apparently nobody has ever asked before. I mean, it should, right? I mean, it's made from cow milk, and that is produced by a cows body so there should be some in there. If I eat too much ice cream, do I run the risk of becoming a Minotaur? Or at least of having my body start rejecting the cow dna and I start to suffer from graft vs. Host syndrome?

Signed
-Curious in Canada
Okay, so I broke this into a few questions. They're interesting ones!

1) Does milk contain bovine cells? Probably trace amounts due to cross contamination, but milk itself is a mammary gland secretion. I think pasteurization kills off all of these, I know it kills off the most dangerous bacteria. There are likely some white blood cells in there too.

2) Does milk contain bovine proteins? Absolutely! But proteins are what DNA codes for (this is shortening the pathway a lot), they do not contain DNA itself. Milk has immunoglobulins, enzymes, etc. but those are made of amino acids, not DNA.

3) Will eating other creature's DNA have any kind of effect on me? Nope. It can't get into your cells to be transcribed. There might be RNA from the cow, but it also can't get into your cells.
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Old 11-19-2016, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Violentvixen View Post
Okay, so I broke this into a few questions. They're interesting ones!

1) Does milk contain bovine cells? Probably trace amounts due to cross contamination, but milk itself is a mammary gland secretion. I think pasteurization kills off all of these, I know it kills off the most dangerous bacteria. There are likely some white blood cells in there too.

2) Does milk contain bovine proteins? Absolutely! But proteins are what DNA codes for (this is shortening the pathway a lot), they do not contain DNA itself. Milk has immunoglobulins, enzymes, etc. but those are made of amino acids, not DNA.

3) Will eating other creature's DNA have any kind of effect on me? Nope. It can't get into your cells to be transcribed. There might be RNA from the cow, but it also can't get into your cells.
Science: ruining everything for 14 billion years and counting.
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Old 11-19-2016, 05:07 PM
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If it weren't for science Octo wouldn't even have the mechanisms for doing this.
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  #6  
Old 11-19-2016, 05:44 PM
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once they publish the Octotaur, you know they're running out Monster Manual ideas
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  #7  
Old 11-19-2016, 06:01 PM
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Default I prefer monster automatic.

You mean running INTO them!
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  #8  
Old 11-19-2016, 06:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Violentvixen View Post
Okay, so I broke this into a few questions. They're interesting ones!

1) Does milk contain bovine cells? Probably trace amounts due to cross contamination, but milk itself is a mammary gland secretion. I think pasteurization kills off all of these, I know it kills off the most dangerous bacteria. There are likely some white blood cells in there too.

2) Does milk contain bovine proteins? Absolutely! But proteins are what DNA codes for (this is shortening the pathway a lot), they do not contain DNA itself. Milk has immunoglobulins, enzymes, etc. but those are made of amino acids, not DNA.

3) Will eating other creature's DNA have any kind of effect on me? Nope. It can't get into your cells to be transcribed. There might be RNA from the cow, but it also can't get into your cells.
Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!
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Old 11-19-2016, 07:04 PM
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Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!
VV is a shill for big cow DNA don't listen to her!
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Old 11-19-2016, 07:55 PM
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I bet she went to Bovine University.
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  #11  
Old 11-19-2016, 08:28 PM
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I bet she went to Bovine University.
Where students learn to milk their degree for all it's worth.
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  #12  
Old 11-19-2016, 09:28 PM
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once they publish the Octotaur, you know they're running out Monster Manual ideas
Well they already have something that's human-shaped with a squid head

Something that's human-shaped with an octopus head hardly seems strange compared to what's already out there.
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  #13  
Old 11-20-2016, 05:52 AM
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No, but you might turn into a rattlesnake.
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  #14  
Old 11-20-2016, 08:40 AM
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Well they already have something that's human-shaped with a squid head
Holding out for squid-shaped with a human head. Don't let me down, WotC.
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  #15  
Old 11-20-2016, 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!
I admit I started writing something silly, but then thought about the problem and realized it was actually a complicated question and I had a lot of fun thinking about it.

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VV is a shill for big cow DNA don't listen to her!
New user title ahoy!
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  #16  
Old 11-20-2016, 08:46 AM
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Holding out for squid-shaped with a human head. Don't let me down, WotC.
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  #17  
Old 11-20-2016, 09:38 AM
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No, but you might turn into a rattlesnake.
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  #18  
Old 11-20-2016, 09:55 AM
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Dear Talking Time,

Netflix is releasing the sequel to a very successful series that was full of witty dialogue and fun characters this friday. I'd love to make a marathon out of it, but I have plenty of obligations, including my job and a Talking Time thread to update. I was wondering - is there an easy way to get a non-lethal virus I can infect myself with that would make me bedridden for just 24 hours so I can get a medical leave this friday? And how do I get rid of the ninja assassins Falselogic will surely send my way?

Love,

The Fan In Spain
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  #19  
Old 11-20-2016, 10:29 AM
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Can love bloom on the battlefield?
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  #20  
Old 11-20-2016, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Positronic Brain View Post
Dear Talking Time,

Netflix is releasing the sequel to a very successful series that was full of witty dialogue and fun characters this friday. I'd love to make a marathon out of it, but I have plenty of obligations, including my job and a Talking Time thread to update. I was wondering - is there an easy way to get a non-lethal virus I can infect myself with that would make me bedridden for just 24 hours so I can get a medical leave this friday? And how do I get rid of the ninja assassins Falselogic will surely send my way?

Love,

The Fan In Spain
No PB, you may not shirk your 16-Bit thread to watch Gilmore Girls.
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  #21  
Old 11-20-2016, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!
Don't worry.

You'll always have rare steak.
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  #22  
Old 11-20-2016, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Positronic Brain View Post
Dear Talking Time,

Netflix is releasing the sequel to a very successful series that was full of witty dialogue and fun characters this friday. I'd love to make a marathon out of it, but I have plenty of obligations, including my job and a Talking Time thread to update. I was wondering - is there an easy way to get a non-lethal virus I can infect myself with that would make me bedridden for just 24 hours so I can get a medical leave this friday? And how do I get rid of the ninja assassins Falselogic will surely send my way?

Love,

The Fan In Spain
Dear Spain,

Unfortunately, science has not yet perfected the "flu in a can" (all they've come up with so far is more properly described as "a cold in a cask"). It is bad etiquette to slack off from one's duties with a deliberate (or feigned) illness anyway. What you can do, however, is take a day off in honor of the American holiday Thanksgiving (a day before your intended "slack-off", but then these things take some jiggering to work out). When your workplace and/or Talking Time ask you why you, a Spaniard, have decided to celebrate an American holiday, tell them (something something Donald Trump).

I hope this helps,
Ms. M. Polite
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  #23  
Old 11-20-2016, 10:30 PM
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Dear Talking Time,

How are you? I'm fine. Once upon a time a prehistoric penguin was fly-by pooping on a prehistoric bat. "You'll live to regret that!" swore the wingless tree rodent, but he was ultimately proven wrong and the irony took too long to become apparent to either of them anyway.

Sincerely, I didn't have a question in Alabrasco
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  #24  
Old 11-20-2016, 10:38 PM
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Guild is secretly the ghost of Douglas Adams.
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  #25  
Old 11-21-2016, 12:13 AM
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Where students learn to milk their degree for all it's worth.
Ha!
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  #26  
Old 11-21-2016, 07:49 AM
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Dear Talking Time:

Would cell-phone and radio reception be better on the moon? Obviously there aren't any transmission towers (that we have been told of!), but there wouldn't be any atmosphere giving interference between you and the satellites. If I built a moon-base, would I wind up saving money on pesky roaming charges and dropped calls?

Signed-
Verizon over the Horizon
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  #27  
Old 11-21-2016, 07:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
No PB, you may not shirk your 16-Bit thread to watch Gilmore Girls.


Quote:
When your workplace and/or Talking Time ask you why you, a Spaniard, have decided to celebrate an American holiday, tell them (something something Donald Trump).
Actually, the way the media is panicking over here and taking Donald Trump seriously now, I'm sure I can use him as an excuse to get a note from a psychologist, justifying my absence by a sudden strike of depression. Genius!
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  #28  
Old 11-21-2016, 10:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Dear Talking Time:

Would cell-phone and radio reception be better on the moon? Obviously there aren't any transmission towers (that we have been told of!), but there wouldn't be any atmosphere giving interference between you and the satellites. If I built a moon-base, would I wind up saving money on pesky roaming charges and dropped calls?

Signed-
Verizon over the Horizon
Dear V o'er the H,

That's a corker of a question! First, your cellular phone depends on distance. Typically, cellphones have a maximum range of about 45-50 miles. The surface of the Moon is about 238,855 miles from the earth, so there's your first problem. It would be like that movie, Castaway, only about 5,000 times further.

Also, cellphones don't actually connect to satellites, only satellite phones do, and those are crazy expensive. Your cellphone connects to cellular sites, usually towers, which beam the signal back and forth among those sites, until the signal reaches its destination.

Third, and this is most important, is the lack of atmosphere. You are correct that your cellphone wouldn't experience any atmospheric interference. What it would pick up instead is cosmic radiation and solar flares that would pummel your cellphone's circuitry like a schoolyard bully.

If, however, you were to build a network of cellular sites on the moon, I'm sure you could establish a lunar monopoly on cellular communication, much like how Rogers does here in Canada. I hope that answers your question, and good luck with your moonbase!

Yours,
Terrestrial Talking Time
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  #29  
Old 12-24-2016, 09:02 AM
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Dear Talking Time:

You know how, at some places, a barber or dentist will give you candy or a small toy after plying their trade? Is it possible to reverse this transaction and get a free filling or trendy haircut by offering a sheet or temporary tattoos or a kazoo?

With Regards:
A Guy Who's Long in the Hair and Long in the Tooth
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  #30  
Old 12-24-2016, 09:08 AM
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it is supply and demand. They have vaccines and scissors and suckers, and you do not have a sucker or a vaccine or scissors. If you happen to find a barber who has nothing to do and does not have a sucker, you might be able to make the reaction reverse itself. If they do have suckers already, you are out of luck.
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