Dear Talking Time:

[Octopus Prime]

Does ice cream contain cow DNA? I tried googling it, but apparently nobody has ever asked before. I mean, it should, right? I mean, it's made from cow milk, and that is produced by a cows body so there should be some in there. If I eat too much ice cream, do I run the risk of becoming a Minotaur? Or at least of having my body start rejecting the cow dna and I start to suffer from graft vs. Host syndrome?

Signed
-Curious in Canada

[Lady]

Dear Curious,

No woman or gay man has turned into a man/different man to date. We conclude that you are most likely safe from consumption based DNA alteration.

Sincerely,
Talking Time

[Violentvixen]

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime

Does ice cream contain cow DNA? I tried googling it, but apparently nobody has ever asked before. I mean, it should, right? I mean, it's made from cow milk, and that is produced by a cows body so there should be some in there. If I eat too much ice cream, do I run the risk of becoming a Minotaur? Or at least of having my body start rejecting the cow dna and I start to suffer from graft vs. Host syndrome?

Signed
-Curious in Canada

Okay, so I broke this into a few questions. They're interesting ones!

1) Does milk contain bovine cells? Probably trace amounts due to cross contamination, but milk itself is a mammary gland secretion. I think pasteurization kills off all of these, I know it kills off the most dangerous bacteria. There are likely some white blood cells in there too.

2) Does milk contain bovine proteins? Absolutely! But proteins are what DNA codes for (this is shortening the pathway a lot), they do not contain DNA itself. Milk has immunoglobulins, enzymes, etc. but those are made of amino acids, not DNA.

3) Will eating other creature's DNA have any kind of effect on me? Nope. It can't get into your cells to be transcribed. There might be RNA from the cow, but it also can't get into your cells.

[jpfriction]

Originally Posted by Violentvixen

Okay, so I broke this into a few questions. They're interesting ones!

1) Does milk contain bovine cells? Probably trace amounts due to cross contamination, but milk itself is a mammary gland secretion. I think pasteurization kills off all of these, I know it kills off the most dangerous bacteria. There are likely some white blood cells in there too.

2) Does milk contain bovine proteins? Absolutely! But proteins are what DNA codes for (this is shortening the pathway a lot), they do not contain DNA itself. Milk has immunoglobulins, enzymes, etc. but those are made of amino acids, not DNA.

3) Will eating other creature's DNA have any kind of effect on me? Nope. It can't get into your cells to be transcribed. There might be RNA from the cow, but it also can't get into your cells.

Science: ruining everything for 14 billion years and counting.

[Torzelbaum]

If it weren't for science Octo wouldn't even have the mechanisms for doing this.

[Peach]

once they publish the Octotaur, you know they're running out Monster Manual ideas

[Guild]

You mean running INTO them!

[Octopus Prime]

Originally Posted by Violentvixen

Okay, so I broke this into a few questions. They're interesting ones!

1) Does milk contain bovine cells? Probably trace amounts due to cross contamination, but milk itself is a mammary gland secretion. I think pasteurization kills off all of these, I know it kills off the most dangerous bacteria. There are likely some white blood cells in there too.

2) Does milk contain bovine proteins? Absolutely! But proteins are what DNA codes for (this is shortening the pathway a lot), they do not contain DNA itself. Milk has immunoglobulins, enzymes, etc. but those are made of amino acids, not DNA.

3) Will eating other creature's DNA have any kind of effect on me? Nope. It can't get into your cells to be transcribed. There might be RNA from the cow, but it also can't get into your cells.

Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!

[Issun]

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime

Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!

VV is a shill for big cow DNA don't listen to her!

[Torzelbaum]

I bet she went to Bovine University.

[Zef]

Originally Posted by Torzelbaum

I bet she went to Bovine University.

Where students learn to milk their degree for all it's worth.

[R^2]

Originally Posted by Peach

once they publish the Octotaur, you know they're running out Monster Manual ideas

Well they already have something that's human-shaped with a squid head

Something that's human-shaped with an octopus head hardly seems strange compared to what's already out there.

[teg]

No, but you might turn into a rattlesnake.

[Paul le Fou]

Originally Posted by R^2

Well they already have something that's human-shaped with a squid head

Holding out for squid-shaped with a human head. Don't let me down, WotC.

[Violentvixen]

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime

Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!

I admit I started writing something silly, but then thought about the problem and realized it was actually a complicated question and I had a lot of fun thinking about it.

Originally Posted by Issun

VV is a shill for big cow DNA don't listen to her!

New user title ahoy!

[Octopus Prime]

Originally Posted by Paul le Fou

Holding out for squid-shaped with a human head. Don't let me down, WotC.

[R^2]

Originally Posted by teg

No, but you might turn into a rattlesnake.

[Positronic Brain]

Dear Talking Time,

Netflix is releasing the sequel to a very successful series that was full of witty dialogue and fun characters this friday. I'd love to make a marathon out of it, but I have plenty of obligations, including my job and a Talking Time thread to update. I was wondering - is there an easy way to get a non-lethal virus I can infect myself with that would make me bedridden for just 24 hours so I can get a medical leave this friday? And how do I get rid of the ninja assassins Falselogic will surely send my way?

Love,

The Fan In Spain

[Dizzy]

Can love bloom on the battlefield?

[Issun]

Originally Posted by Positronic Brain

Dear Talking Time,

Netflix is releasing the sequel to a very successful series that was full of witty dialogue and fun characters this friday. I'd love to make a marathon out of it, but I have plenty of obligations, including my job and a Talking Time thread to update. I was wondering - is there an easy way to get a non-lethal virus I can infect myself with that would make me bedridden for just 24 hours so I can get a medical leave this friday? And how do I get rid of the ninja assassins Falselogic will surely send my way?

Love,

The Fan In Spain

No PB, you may not shirk your 16-Bit thread to watch Gilmore Girls.

[Eusis]

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime

Wow, I really was not expecting a serious and informative answer, but I was really hoping! This truly is a season of miracles!

Don't worry.

You'll always have rare steak.

[Healy]

Originally Posted by Positronic Brain

Dear Talking Time,

Netflix is releasing the sequel to a very successful series that was full of witty dialogue and fun characters this friday. I'd love to make a marathon out of it, but I have plenty of obligations, including my job and a Talking Time thread to update. I was wondering - is there an easy way to get a non-lethal virus I can infect myself with that would make me bedridden for just 24 hours so I can get a medical leave this friday? And how do I get rid of the ninja assassins Falselogic will surely send my way?

Love,

The Fan In Spain

Dear Spain,

Unfortunately, science has not yet perfected the "flu in a can" (all they've come up with so far is more properly described as "a cold in a cask"). It is bad etiquette to slack off from one's duties with a deliberate (or feigned) illness anyway. What you can do, however, is take a day off in honor of the American holiday Thanksgiving (a day before your intended "slack-off", but then these things take some jiggering to work out). When your workplace and/or Talking Time ask you why you, a Spaniard, have decided to celebrate an American holiday, tell them (something something Donald Trump).

I hope this helps,
Ms. M. Polite

[Guild]

Dear Talking Time,

How are you? I'm fine. Once upon a time a prehistoric penguin was fly-by pooping on a prehistoric bat. "You'll live to regret that!" swore the wingless tree rodent, but he was ultimately proven wrong and the irony took too long to become apparent to either of them anyway.

Sincerely, I didn't have a question in Alabrasco

[Issun]

Guild is secretly the ghost of Douglas Adams.

[chud_666]

Originally Posted by Zef

Where students learn to milk their degree for all it's worth.

Ha!

[Octopus Prime]

Dear Talking Time:

Would cell-phone and radio reception be better on the moon? Obviously there aren't any transmission towers (that we have been told of!), but there wouldn't be any atmosphere giving interference between you and the satellites. If I built a moon-base, would I wind up saving money on pesky roaming charges and dropped calls?

Signed-
Verizon over the Horizon

[Positronic Brain]

Originally Posted by Issun

No PB, you may not shirk your 16-Bit thread to watch Gilmore Girls.

When your workplace and/or Talking Time ask you why you, a Spaniard, have decided to celebrate an American holiday, tell them (something something Donald Trump).

Actually, the way the media is panicking over here and taking Donald Trump seriously now, I'm sure I can use him as an excuse to get a note from a psychologist, justifying my absence by a sudden strike of depression. Genius!

[Büge]

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime

Dear Talking Time:

Would cell-phone and radio reception be better on the moon? Obviously there aren't any transmission towers (that we have been told of!), but there wouldn't be any atmosphere giving interference between you and the satellites. If I built a moon-base, would I wind up saving money on pesky roaming charges and dropped calls?

Signed-
Verizon over the Horizon

Dear V o'er the H,

That's a corker of a question! First, your cellular phone depends on distance. Typically, cellphones have a maximum range of about 45-50 miles. The surface of the Moon is about 238,855 miles from the earth, so there's your first problem. It would be like that movie, Castaway, only about 5,000 times further.

Also, cellphones don't actually connect to satellites, only satellite phones do, and those are crazy expensive. Your cellphone connects to cellular sites, usually towers, which beam the signal back and forth among those sites, until the signal reaches its destination.

Third, and this is most important, is the lack of atmosphere. You are correct that your cellphone wouldn't experience any atmospheric interference. What it would pick up instead is cosmic radiation and solar flares that would pummel your cellphone's circuitry like a schoolyard bully.

If, however, you were to build a network of cellular sites on the moon, I'm sure you could establish a lunar monopoly on cellular communication, much like how Rogers does here in Canada. I hope that answers your question, and good luck with your moonbase!

Yours,
Terrestrial Talking Time

[Octopus Prime]

Dear Talking Time:

You know how, at some places, a barber or dentist will give you candy or a small toy after plying their trade? Is it possible to reverse this transaction and get a free filling or trendy haircut by offering a sheet or temporary tattoos or a kazoo?

With Regards:
A Guy Who's Long in the Hair and Long in the Tooth

[Lady]

it is supply and demand. They have vaccines and scissors and suckers, and you do not have a sucker or a vaccine or scissors. If you happen to find a barber who has nothing to do and does not have a sucker, you might be able to make the reaction reverse itself. If they do have suckers already, you are out of luck.