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  #34261  
Old 05-23-2019, 09:35 AM
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Thatís been sitting on my To Be Watched shelf for entirely too long.

Havenít seen it since it was in theatres. In my foolish youth, I thought it poor. Now I am Octo.
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  #34262  
Old 05-23-2019, 10:06 AM
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Originally Posted by R.R. Bigman View Post
Green Room is a nasty movie, but it is also pretty excellent.
Jeremy Saulnier is one of my favorite filmmakers and I am always excited to see what he'll do next. If you haven't seen Hold the Dark, you should do that. If you haven't seen Blue Ruin, you should watch it, like... tonight. Or right now. What are you doing right now?

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Originally Posted by Sir Sly Ry View Post
The more you guys talk about Face/Off, the more I want to pull the trigger and watch it for the first time.
Don't. It's like 20 minutes of meme-worthy performance from Nic Cage hidden inside a bloated carcass of a film that can't help but raise the question of how much input John Woo actually had on the movie or if the John Woo who made movies in the US was some kind of weird pod person, because it seems impossible that the same filmmaker did Hard Boiled and Face/Off.

This is like the Space Jam thing where I'm honestly just baffled at how people seem to unironically like the thing, and wonder if it's just some group troll I'm not in on.
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  #34263  
Old 05-23-2019, 12:29 PM
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Thatís been sitting on my To Be Watched shelf for entirely too long.

Havenít seen it since it was in theatres. In my foolish youth, I thought it poor. Now I am Octo.
I am 20 minutes into this movie right now.

I was right! I WAS SO RIGHT!
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  #34264  
Old 05-23-2019, 01:13 PM
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Jaxx' entire character arc is that he's mad that wasn't in the first movie and nobody is explaining the plot to him.
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  #34265  
Old 05-23-2019, 02:12 PM
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Oh man.... oh my God. I... friggin' LOVED this movie.

I loooooved it.

As per my live-thoughts in Dischord:
OctoPrimeToday at 4:09 PM
Well, I got off early, and I've got some candy... I might as well make it OCTOPRIME MOVIE TIME!
Here we go
It is time... FOR ANNIHILATION!
Oh my god, the Bad CG... it's Beautiful
Oh my GOD, this looks like friggin' Manborg
And Raiden stopped being Christopher Lambert
"Mother! You're... ALIVE!"
"Too bad YOU! ...
...

WILL DIE!"
I am loving this already
The greenscreening! So glaring
Shao Kahns so giddy
SOnya just stands around, waiting to get beaten up
Johnny gets punched the head because he's looking for his glasses in the middle of a fight
Shao Kahn celebrates his victory by making a big stone claw appear out of the ground
"ANNIHILATE 'EM!" is just the ggofiest thing for a skeleton-man demigod to scream
"I believe that by resurrecting your mother, Shao Kahn has opened a gate to Outworld, by reuniting with her, Kahns spell will be broken"
How the frig did you figure that out, Raiden?
There are secret tunnel highways through the Earth, by magical gyroscopes
Shao Kahns palace has bag CG skulls floating all around
And he's taken off his skeleton-mask, now he's just some big bald guy
"EARTH is under attack and IT! IS! GLOOOORIOUS!"
Holy damn, it's been a while since I saw someone so happy to be a bad guy in a movie as much as Shao Kahn
Just friggin' backflipping everywhere
Never takes a step, just somersaults to move
Shinnok is looking... really different
A tender kiss is interupted by a robot kicking Liu Kang in the kidney!
ROMANCE SIDELINED IN FAVOR OF ROBOT VIOLENCE
Where the robot and his ninja-flunkies came from I CAN ONLY GUESS!
Liu just getting the hell kicked out of him
Our Hero really sucks at his only job (punching evil wizards)
Kitana, you are a magical princess from an evil fantasy kingdom; how do you know how a robot works?
Sub-Zero! Totally cool with Liu killing his brother, also drops a lot of backstory then leaves the movie
And Scorpion, he's alive again for some reason
Scorp and Sub-Zero are fighting for no reason other than the fact that they don't get along, generally
Fight scene cheoreography I can only describe as "hilarious"
Scorpion kidnaps Kitana, yelling "SO LONG, SUCKERS!"
Oh my god, I am LOVING this film
50/10
No, 100/5
"What the Hell have you done to yourself this time" grumbles an exasperated Sonya Blade, seeing her buddy has replaced his arms with giant robots
You're going to WISH you were back in highschool!
OH NO! ANOTHER ROBOT!
Cyrax wishes he looked as good as a Power Ranger
He uses his incredible robot power to break a window
Cyrax has a chest-laser that turns people in bad CG skeletons
An actual skeleton model would have been more convinging
"I have Cybernetic STRENGTH ENHANCERS!" yells Jaxx
Skeleton-lasers are useless against robot fists
These robots would probably be more useful if they didn't have to stand still for so long before shooting their lasers
Badly Greenscreen Fireball Escape
Amazing!
"Two of Earths greatest warriors have been killed, Kabal and Stryker"
Thanks for telling, and not showing, movie
Also "Best" is a bit of a stretch
And Kahn kills Rain with a giant hammer because he's still sulking from his dad scolding him
Oh my GOD< I friggin' ADORE this film
Most of Sheevas dialogue is her hissing, like a cat, and flexxing like a cat with four beefy human arms
And now a desert, I guess
Liu is attacked by a wolf!
Who turns into a dude
"Pretty cool, huh? That's Animality!"
Liu is really coasting on his one victory
Express train to the dream-state involves hitting Liu Kang in the head with a hatchet
Subtitles read [Liu Kang screams and falls down"
Just... holy damn
This film
Waking up from his hatchet-coma, Liu sees a bikini-girl in a snowy plain, and thinks nothing of joining her on his quest to... figure out how to turn into a dragon
He is just so co completely unsurprised by Jades appearance
And now they're fighting, exactly as inexplicably
FOOLISH.... CHild?!?!
Jaxx is kind of put out because he was left out of the first movie and nobody is explaining the plot to him
That is his entire character arc in this film
And there's Mileena, in another fight scene that comes out of no where
For a fight scene that I am reasonably sure only exists because the director noticed there was a big mud pit nearby and there were several attractive women in the cast
And Jaxx helps out by unconvincingly punching a terrible CG skeleton
"You look good in mud!"
Sonya must have had a shower and fresh change of clothes since the last scene
RAYDEN LOOKS LIKE BILLY IDOL NOW!
OH MY GOD!
EVERYONE IS JUST OKAY WITH THIS!
NOBODY REACTS!
"You have real skills, those mechanical arms are not a strength, they're your weakness!"
Raiden just realized that he has no magical powers in addition to having a different haircut
"Destroy.... HEHVERYTHING!"
I have no idea what accent Shinnok is speaking with here
I think he's Dutch?
"All our milleniums of planning will be fulfilled!" says Shao Kahn, having no success at pronouncing "millennium" and apparently not knowing how to pluralize it
"Muhmanyums"
Sindel has had one line of dialogue that wasn't her screeching
Raiden is now fighting several Reptiles (not to be confused with reptiles) who , again, appeared out of nowhere
This movie has random battles
I wonder if one of the special features puts the fight scenes in a random order, like Memento, and if they affect anything
Also, I don't know how the fight the multiple Reptiles ended. It just stopped
"What happened to Sindel?"
"After she blasted you, I attacked her from behind, and she left"
Given everything I've seen of this movie, I'm not sure if that's an unconvincing lie because Jade is secretly evil, or because they didn't have to budget to film another fight scene and had to leave some by
Like, I am genuinely unsure
Baraka swings, screaming, at Liu Kang, who dodges
Afterward, Kitana boredly states "It's a trap, Liu. Leave."
And liu contiues to stand around, while sword-armed monster-men swing at him
Creature Effects for Baraka created by out of season Halloween Store leftovers
And Sheeva is dead because a big thing fell on her
Literally no fight
Oh, I guess Jade DID knock out Sindel
Off camera
During a boring fight scene of no consequence
Sindel looks to be the same age has her daughter, but they're both immortal magical princesses so w/ever
Now Sindel is making up for all the overacting Shao Kahn was denying her before
Everyone stands around watching her while she twirls. I think she's supposed to be turning into a tornado, like the games, but they're out of money for special effects so she's just twirling, and it is captivating
"Your dad is an Elder God?!?"
I mean, Rayden is a God, so... that's how that works?
Another bad CG meat-skeleton ate Jade because they had money for bad CG monsters, but not for anything that is relevant to the plot
Everyone believes that Liu Kang can beat Shao Kahn, despite all evidence to the contrary
Raiden disappeared for a while and then reappeared for the final battle
No idea where he went
And Kahn kills Raiden, like, IMMEDIATELY
"Mr. Ed is MINE"
"The leftovers are fine by me!", Sonya is firmly aware of how important she and Ermac are to the plot
Ermac created a second ninja out of nowhere, either an explanation for why so many Ninjas appear out of friggin' nowhere, or the director realizing there was still another guy from the games that hand't appeared yet
Also, the soundtrack for this climactic final battle for the fate of the planet is really lethargic
Jaxx upercutted a horse in the junk
Kind of proving what Raiden said about his true strength not coming from his robot arms
Stupidly
Meanwhile, after everyone else beats up their respective mini-bosses, Liu Kang finally believes in himself enough to turn into a dragon
There's a lesson there, I'm sure
And Shao Kahn turns into an honestly pretty cool hydra
Liu still loses, and badly, almost immediately, meaning that the magical quest that was HIS entire arc in this movie is utterly pointless
Shinnok summons the rest of the Edler Gods and decides to start playing the theme song for the REAL final battle
And it's over; Shao Kahn being proven to be slightly less competant at being a villain than Liu was at being a hero
And Shinnok folds up like an evil dress shirt and disappears
And we're treated to a montage of stock footage of world landmarks, showing that the worlds been rebuilt
And Raiden takes his dads place as a guy made of bad CG sparkles
And... umm... Sindel is still alive in the final shot, wearing a different dress
Like so much of the film, this passes without comment
And now the film bookends itself with the Mortal Kombat logo flying back together. Presumably it was supposed to fly apart in the opening credits sequence but... it did not


TLDR: Young Octo was a fool. Everyone who dares disrespect the magic of cinema is fool!

This movie is GREAT!

Every movie is great!

THANK YOU, HOLLYWOOD!

A THOUSAND TIMES, THANK YOU!
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  #34266  
Old 05-23-2019, 02:55 PM
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Isn't that the movie where it's raining ninjas?
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  #34267  
Old 05-23-2019, 03:22 PM
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There are so many free-falling ninjas.

Ninjas are inclement weather!
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  #34268  
Old 05-23-2019, 06:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ghost from Spelunker View Post
Isn't that the movie where it's raining ninjas?
The tragically less well-known follow-up to the The Weather Girls' hit song.
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  #34269  
Old 05-23-2019, 10:31 PM
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I remember reading a newspaper review when Mortal Kombat Annihilation when it first came out, and they said it was raining ninjas like it was a bad thing.
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  #34270  
Old 05-24-2019, 08:32 AM
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If I were forced to pick just one thing to say is best of the film, and I can not, it is cinema perfection, it would be that Shao Kahn never walks anywhere. He backflips.

If I had to pick two things, itís that Liu spends the whole movie whining that nobody is respecting him enough for beating up a wizard in the previous movie.

Three things would be the whole thing with Sub-Zero, where he shows up to help, creates a bridge over a chasm with ice magic, then destroys that bridge fighting Scorpion, calls Liu Kang a failure, and then leaves the movie forever.

Then Liu Kang jumps over the gap without the bridge because it wasnít that far anyway.

How could anyone say this isnít an amazing film?!?
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  #34271  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:51 AM
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thrilled u enjoyed it, octo...
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  #34272  
Old 05-24-2019, 09:57 AM
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We Need to Talk About Brightburn: I mean, not really, actually. Itís fine! Itís exactly what you think it is. Has some nasty bits of gore which are distinctly Mortal Kombatesque, but here, the damage is permanent. One characterís suffering seemed a little prolonged. The kid is good. I want to see an extended cinematic universe of copyright infringements.

Oh, and the on-the-nose final credits song is Billie Eilishís ďbad guy.Ē Yeah, the ďmight seduce your dad-typeĒ one. Okay, Brightburn. 🙄
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  #34273  
Old 05-24-2019, 10:03 AM
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If Brightburn threatened me I would simply accede to his wishes and remain safe unlike the characters in this film. 😌
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  #34274  
Old 05-24-2019, 03:13 PM
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We Need to Talk About Brightburn
It looks like garbage trash. And despite what its advertisements keep telling me, "wHat IF sUpERmAn A bADdIe?" is not remotely an interesting or unique take on the character.
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  #34275  
Old 05-24-2019, 03:57 PM
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I read a plot synopsis (I'll spoil any horror movie for myself because I'm damn sure not going to watch one) and read some reviews. It is apparently exactly what it appears to be, nothing other than the Superman, but evil.
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  #34276  
Old 05-24-2019, 04:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShakeWell View Post
Blue Ruin
Glad you mentioned it, because I was thinking about it when I posted about Green Room. Blue Ruin is pretty good. A similar type of film where the protagonist goes vigilante, has no idea what the hell he is doing, and things unfold in a way that is darkly comedic, and also just kind of dark. Not sure if I liked Blue Ruin or Green Room better. Green Room is maybe a bit more "fun," if such an adjective could be applied to a film so dismal.

Also worth noting: Macon Blair, who was the protagonist in Blue Ruin, wrote and directed his own film that I watched in 2017 I think. It's in the same ilk as Blue Ruin and Green Room, where people are getting into a situation that is way over their heads, and they bumble their way through a plot of violence and unfortunate comedy. It's worth checking out, especially if you liked the movies by Jeremy Saulnier. The film is called I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore. Also: it has Elijah Wood playing just the weirdest neighbor.
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  #34277  
Old 05-24-2019, 04:26 PM
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I read the plot summary before seeing Brightburn. If anything, Iím more reluctant to see a movie with a downer ending than Superman-but-evil. (donít like or care about Superman) But this was effectively bittersweet (well, itís an evil kid movie) and well-done. And 90 minutes. Also, cannot emphasize enough, hilarious credits song.
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  #34278  
Old 05-24-2019, 05:09 PM
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wHat IF sUpERmAn A bADdIe? is so incredibly old hat at this point. Like, just off the top of my head we have:

What if Superman was a Nazi?
What if Superman was a Soviet?
What if Lois got murdered and Superman went insane?
What if Superboy was an internet forum troll?
What if Superman was corrupted by Darkseid?
What if Superman was cloned by Darkseid?
What if Superman was General Zod's son?
What if Superman was an evil cyborg impersonator?
Ultraman's entire shtick.
Bizarro's entire shtick.
Like, half of the Silver Age comics.

I know I'm forgetting like half of this stuff, and every one of those ideas is more interesting at a surface level than what brightburn is selling itself as. So just like, "what if Superboy was evil, but just like regular nonsensical horror movie evil for no reason, and we filed the serial numbers off" is just kinda banal and insulting at this point.
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  #34279  
Old 05-24-2019, 05:26 PM
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Superman... except BAD certainly isnít compelling or innovative (though I enjoy Injustice), but Superman as a Horror Movie is untreaded ground for me. So for that alone Iím interested in Brightburn.

At least enough to watch it when it hits iTunes for cheap.
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  #34280  
Old 05-24-2019, 08:06 PM
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Hmm... Octo, have you ever seen Superman III?
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  #34281  
Old 05-24-2019, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir Sly Ry View Post
What's the best John Wick?
John Wick 3 is the best one, but also this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrenaline View Post
The best John Wick is the John Wick you're currently watching
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  #34282  
Old 05-25-2019, 01:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torzelbaum View Post
Hmm... Octo, have you ever seen Superman III?
No, but itís on the list
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  #34283  
Old 05-25-2019, 10:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Superman... except BAD certainly isnít compelling or innovative (though I enjoy Injustice), but Superman as a Horror Movie is untreaded ground for me. So for that alone Iím interested in Brightburn.

At least enough to watch it when it hits iTunes for cheap.
Right, this is the nuance that makes it possibly interesting. Taking it into a different genre is different than just making a what-if. Except I don't usually see horror movies on the big screen, so maybe I'll catch it later on streaming.

Anyway, don't forget Satan's Soldier, in which Tom Scioli demonstrates the difference between a supervillain and an evil superhero.
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  #34284  
Old 05-25-2019, 11:16 AM
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Booksmart funny.

Event Horizon still bangs. Comic relief guy seems misplaced in this film, and is unrelated to the funniest (only funny?) gag. (where that guyís like alright, weíre out)

Didnít have high expectations for or much knowledge of PWSAís Soldier but I quite enjoyed it. Kurt Russellís wonderful. There is a star wars-ass trash colony which makes no sense. Why is Gary Busey framed as a hero? He seems to fully accept the awful soldier program; he just like Kurt Russell. (same) Unusual for Anderson, no sick techno music until like the second credits song. Really wish PWSA won the Blank Check March Madness bracket after seeing this... a studio spent 60 million on it. (you can see the money!! cool as hell looking, christmas lights and all)
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  #34285  
Old 05-25-2019, 10:47 PM
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I twatched some Netflix movies this today.

See You Yesterday is a heart-breaking yet optimistic time travel movie. It starts with a Michael J Fox cameo, but while the movie is about time travel, it is not in any way Back to the Future. Instead, it is about a young black girl prodigy going back in time to try to stop cops from shooting her older brother. It is really good.

Rim of the World is trying very hard to be an 80's kids adventure movie. It is less E.T. or Gremlins and more Explorers. Its fine.
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  #34286  
Old Yesterday, 07:15 AM
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We've been doing a thing with Alex (age 8 1/2) where we're watching classic 'n good kid and family movies with him because after years and years he's finally down with watching movies. Recent viewings:

Babe: We were not prepared with how much the film focuses on killing and eating animals. Kinda tough viewing for the kid, still v inspiring.

Star Wars: Watched for the 4th. Alex was pretty board with it up to the trench run. A garbage monster just doesn't do it for kids anymore. He did love the Death Star blowing up tho.

Spy Kids: Surprisingly great and very smart. Doesn't talk down to the kids. Also: the floating godlike visage of Paul Rubens. Loads of fun. Looking forward to Shark Boy and Lava Girl.

Shaolin Soccer: Inspiring and magical. Wondrous film and then out of nowhere a gross homophobic or transphobic joke. Blegh. Still, all the rest is great great. A fun thing happened where OnDemand said it was in English, but it was only subbed. So I ended up reading every line of dialog out loud. After about half an hour it became natural to do and ended up being a great bonding experience with th' boy.
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  #34287  
Old Yesterday, 07:17 AM
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How much would it cost for that service with all my film going experiences?
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  #34288  
Old Yesterday, 07:21 AM
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Well I ended up doing voices too so more than you got, cutter.
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  #34289  
Old Yesterday, 07:23 AM
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Maybe just on special occasions, then.
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