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Old 06-24-2017, 09:50 PM
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Default Abandon all hope ye who entrée here: 1970s cuisine

I'll admit that I take some sick amusement in seeing the kind of stuff that passed for food back in the 1970s. My mother had a recipe binder from Better Homes and Gardens jammed with recipes from that decade, but I never saw anything like this. (Thank goodness.)



Who lives in that pineapple under the sea? Spongebob Sadpants. The crown of weenies with sauerkraut on the top is a little bewildering, too. How do you eat that? Furthermore, why would you eat that?



Speaking of weenies, here's a dish that somehow looks terribly fattening, yet isn't at all appetizing. Hot dogs drowning in a sea of cheese and garlic bread... that's less of a meal and more of a Freudian nightmare.



I... think that thing in the top right corner is a Spaghetti-Os jello mold? The albino Vienna sausages piled on top will make your already churning stomach flop around in your gut like a fish. The fading of these images coupled with the 1970s' natural aversion to color make a bad thing worse.

Earning silver in the grossness Olympics is a vegetable dish which makes me think those carrots and beans got on Jabba the Hutt's bad side.



A hateful mockery of an actual fish, likely cooked up in Doctor Moreau's kitchen. The pimento eye reflects the hopelessness we all feel when we gaze upon it.



Finally, we have this "you can't un-see" food dish. A friend was pretty sure this was one of the forms the shape-shifting creature took in The Thing.
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:05 PM
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What were they thinking?!
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:20 PM
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Okay most of this is rightfully reviled, but the last one I would actually eat, because I don't care how ugly your presentation is, crustaceans are still delicious.
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:31 PM
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This is my go-to site for "terrifying glossy pictures of disgusting American food dishes". http://www.lileks.com/institute/gallery/

I guess it's maybe not 70s though?
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Old 06-24-2017, 10:42 PM
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Ah, the aspic. Delighting and horrifying dinner guests since the Middle Ages.
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Old 06-24-2017, 11:31 PM
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Has anyone ever lovingly re-created these and taken photos with modern cameras? I know the food is pretty wack, but I think the old 70s film grain doesn't help much.
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Old 06-25-2017, 12:57 AM
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Cracked had a fun article about this kind of thing
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Old 06-25-2017, 07:18 AM
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What were they thinking?!
"These drugs feel incredible!"
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Old 06-25-2017, 06:19 PM
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This feels like a good thread to link to this in.
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Old 06-26-2017, 05:23 AM
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I don't care what you say, I would at least try the cheesy hot dog garlic bread.
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Old 06-26-2017, 12:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Posaune View Post
Has anyone ever lovingly re-created these and taken photos with modern cameras? I know the food is pretty wack, but I think the old 70s film grain doesn't help much.
My mom has an awesome cookbook (that's truthfully from the early 80s since I remember her getting it but close enough) that has GORGEOUS shots of whacked-out stuff like this.

I think Anthony Bourdain said in Kitchen Confidential that, while he was at school in the 70s the chefs who taught them crazy decorative shit knew it was going to be a dying art very soon.
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Old 06-26-2017, 04:18 PM
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To be fair, I do wonder how much of the unappetizing look is color film not quite being at levels we're currently used to?
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Old 06-26-2017, 04:27 PM
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It's bananas wrapped in ham and covered in mayo. It's not gonna look appetizing in 4k hdr either
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Old 06-26-2017, 04:29 PM
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It's bananas wrapped in ham and covered in mayo. It's not gonna look appetizing in 4k hdr either
you're not using the right mayo?
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Old 06-26-2017, 04:29 PM
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Oh don't you start
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Old 06-26-2017, 05:14 PM
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The spirit of the 70s lives on in Pinterest, just with less degraded film technology and an comments section.

I would try the weenie crown and maybe the cabbage-wrapped pimento loaf thing.
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Old 06-26-2017, 05:15 PM
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Quote:
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I don't care what you say, I would at least try the cheesy hot dog garlic bread.
I probably would too
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Old 06-26-2017, 07:54 PM
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Even though they cooked the hotdogs!?

About the only thing that looks appetizing to me out of all of those pictures are the dinner rolls.
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Old 06-27-2017, 01:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Büge View Post
Ah, the aspic. Delighting and horrifying dinner guests since the Middle Ages.
Not to stray off the subject, but the King Crimson song Lark's Tongues in Aspic always makes me cringe, knowing that people would eat such a dish. It's the kind of cruel decadence I would expect from a monarch who goes through wives like tissues.
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Old 06-27-2017, 08:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ArugulaZ View Post


Finally, we have this "you can't un-see" food dish. A friend was pretty sure this was one of the forms the shape-shifting creature took in The Thing.
This is a tentacle away from "stereotypical anime bad food."
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  #21  
Old 06-27-2017, 11:34 PM
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That's supposed to look like a spider, right? I mean, there are 9 olives for eyes instead of 8 but whatever.
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Old 06-27-2017, 11:58 PM
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That's supposed to look like a spider, right? I mean, there are 9 olives for eyes instead of 8 but whatever.
Explain that second head in the back there?
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  #23  
Old 06-28-2017, 09:25 AM
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The (cold, I assume) salt potatoes on the platter make it look like a crab boil-based salad. Maybe the greenish cylinders are crab tomalley? There's an underlying concept here, however horrifying in execution.

I think a 21st century-friendly execution of the dish would be a composed seafood potato salad based around shredded crab and crab legs.
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  #24  
Old 06-28-2017, 03:50 PM
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...which I would eat the hell out of.
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Old 06-29-2017, 07:22 AM
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...which I would eat the hell out of.

Is it possible to make a crustacean-based dish so ugly that not even Kirin would want to eat it? *shakes magic 8-ball*
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Old 06-29-2017, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
This is a tentacle away from "stereotypical anime bad food."
The Horror Of Yig
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  #27  
Old 06-29-2017, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Positronic Brain View Post
Is it possible to make a crustacean-based dish so ugly that not even Kirin would want to eat it? *shakes magic 8-ball*
Difficult. You'd probably have to mix it with something I really don't like. I dunno, crab with beans and canned spinach. Which probably exists in a 70s cookbook somewhere.
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  #28  
Old 06-30-2017, 10:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
This is a tentacle away from "stereotypical anime bad food."
Nah, there's no burnt dark matter in there.
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  #29  
Old 07-03-2017, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
This is a tentacle away from "stereotypical anime bad food."
Actually a good ol' mosaic will nudge it over the line.


Last edited by Daikaiju; 07-03-2017 at 07:15 PM.
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  #30  
Old 07-03-2017, 03:47 PM
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That's a cache link again
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