The Return of Talking Time

Go Back   The Return of Talking Time > Talking about media > Talking about books

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #31  
Old 02-05-2016, 12:47 PM
JBear's Avatar
JBear JBear is offline
Bertolli?!?...
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Fredericton, NB, Canada
Posts: 10,035
Default

I am this close to digging my old Fred Saberhagen books out of storage in my parents' shed to contribute, but I think that box might be haunted now.
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 02-05-2016, 01:01 PM
aturtledoesbite's Avatar
aturtledoesbite aturtledoesbite is offline
disguised king of surfing
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Lafayette, LA
Posts: 15,506
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
I am this close to digging my old Fred Saberhagen books out of storage in my parents' shed to contribute, but I think that box might be haunted now.
Do not let poltergeists stand between us and laughing at people! Do it for Talking Time!
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 02-05-2016, 01:10 PM
Issun's Avatar
Issun Issun is offline
Mr. Autumn Man
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Sad Lesbian Capital of the World
Posts: 13,422
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kylie View Post
There's even actual CHICKEN left.
EVIL Chicken!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Scary Ponytail Man
People use democracy as a free-floating abstraction disconnected from reality. Democracy in and of itself is not necessarily good. Gang rape, after all, is democracy in action.
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 02-05-2016, 01:58 PM
Googleshng's Avatar
Googleshng Googleshng is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 15,697
Default

I would have some GEMS here if I remembered what I did after realizing the horrible mistake of grabbing that shelf of newly arrived Jack Chalker books at the used book store one grim fateful evening. Of course those may well be entirely too fetish-y to post anywhere.
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 02-05-2016, 02:02 PM
Mightyblue's Avatar
Mightyblue Mightyblue is online now
Are You Sure About That?
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Somewhere cold. And frosty.
Posts: 20,957
Default

Flux & Anchor, or the other series he did back in the 70s?
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 02-05-2016, 03:15 PM
Googleshng's Avatar
Googleshng Googleshng is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: CT
Posts: 15,697
Default

The Well of Souls books. The first one involves a bunch of people getting transported to a planet with a big ol' hex grid and varying tech levels (which is exactly as game-y as it sounds) and turned into various sorts of bugs and plants and centaurs and largely gender-flipped and forced to deal with new instincts.

And that's the one that's actually pretty OK. The sequels are where it gets fetish-y as all hell.
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 02-05-2016, 09:19 PM
MrChris MrChris is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,034
Default

If Pier Xanthony is off limits, I can only assume that OH JOHN RINGO NO is also verboten, right?

So instead, enjoy a quote from Larry Correia's novel Warbound: Book III of The Grimnoir Chronicles, aka The Book That Kept Your Favorite Novel of 2014 Off the Hugo Ballot

Quote:
“I’ll distract her . . . Okay, lady. Say hello to my little friend.” Lance began to laugh maniacally. “What’d you do?” Heinrich asked. “Had a rat crawl up her dress to bite her on the ass. Ha!”
Alternatively, you may prefer a couple of quotes from the beginning of his Monster Hunter International. Someone read this and said "Yes, I'd like to publish a series of these books."

Quote:
On one otherwise normal Tuesday evening I had the chance to live the American dream. I was able to throw my incompetent jackass of a boss from a fourteenth-story window.
Quote:
“You know that ‘no weapons at work’ policy?” I asked the twitching and growing hairy monstrosity standing less than ten feet from me. His yellow eyes bored into me with raw animal hatred. There was nothing recognizably human in that look.

“I never did like that rule,” I said as I bent down and drew my gun from my ankle holster, put the front sight on the target and rapidly fired all five shots from my snub-nosed .357 Smith & Wesson into Mr. Huffman’s body. God bless Texas.
Not to worry, though, it gets better!

Quote:
“People think that the South is racist, and it was, and some parts still are, but for the most part, we've dealt with our history. The biggest racists I've ever met aren't here, they're in politics, and they are smug bastards. They're the ones that are quick to play the race card, the ones that pimp poverty. Those are the real bigots.”
By which I mean "better."

Quote:
“So did you score with your friend's dead mom?”
OK, let's close this off with an author I used to like. Neal Stephenson has some things he'd like to say about moral relativism in The Diamond Age!

Quote:
"You know, when I was a young man, hypocrisy was deemed the worst of vices,” Finkle-McGraw said. "It was all because of moral relativism. You see, in that sort of a climate, you are not allowed to criticise others-after all, if there is no absolute right and wrong, then what grounds is there for criticism? […] Now, this led to a good deal of general frustration, for people are naturally censorious and love nothing better than to criticise others’ shortcomings. And so it was that they seized on hypocrisy and elevated it from a ubiquitous peccadillo into the monarch of all vices. For, you see, even if there is no right and wrong, you can find grounds to criticise another person by contrasting what he has espoused with what he has actually done. In this case, you are not making any judgment whatsoever as to the correctness of his views or the morality of his behaviour-you are merely pointing out that he has said one thing and done another. Virtually all political discourse in the days of my youth was devoted to the ferreting out of hypocrisy.
I used to assume that quote was meant to underline the self serving and ridiculous nature of the political rhetoric employed by that book's futuristic Victorians, but after reading Cryptonomicon and all those Baroque Cycle books, I just don't know any more.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 02-05-2016, 09:42 PM
Alex Scott's Avatar
Alex Scott Alex Scott is offline
Better be the real thing.
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5,274
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrChris View Post
If Pier Xanthony is off limits, I can only assume that OH JOHN RINGO NO is also verboten, right?
All I know is, even John Ringo hates those books.
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 02-05-2016, 09:46 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,582
Default

I thought Correia was supposed to be the poster for Fun adventurous sci-if that didn't have a Message.

Oh wait! Shit! I'm just feeling out hypocrisy, sorry.
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 02-05-2016, 09:57 PM
MrChris MrChris is online now
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,034
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Loki View Post
I thought Correia was supposed to be the poster for Fun adventurous sci-if that didn't have a Message.

Oh wait! Shit! I'm just feeling out hypocrisy, sorry.
Hey, this isn't some sort of namby-pamby SJW fiction that shoves a message down your throat! This is a good old-fashioned ripping yarn bursting with down-home common sense!

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Monster Hunters
The sight of so many guns, mostly deer rifles and duck guns but with a smattering of black rifles and riot shotguns, made him glad that this was going down in a rural area where people still had their heads screwed on right about personal defense.
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 02-06-2016, 04:31 AM
Octopus Prime's Avatar
Octopus Prime Octopus Prime is online now
Mystery Contraption
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 42,645
Default

You know, I had that book on my shelf for a while, waiting to be read.

Might... Might just leave it there...
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 02-06-2016, 06:19 AM
Positronic Brain's Avatar
Positronic Brain Positronic Brain is offline
Out Of Warranty
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Barcelona, Spain
Posts: 8,666
Default

Hey, Mr Chris, it's not fair winning the thread this early
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 02-06-2016, 06:27 AM
Johnny Unusual's Avatar
Johnny Unusual Johnny Unusual is offline
Man of Tomorrow Afternoon
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick
Posts: 4,770
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rascally Badger View Post
I've got a few in mind from Shadow Moon, that George Lucas/Chris Claremont collaborative Willow sequel. I just need to dig out the books to get the exact.
This feels like it could be a fun game of "which one came up with this awful dialogue?" Here's a hint: if it is really long and redundant, it's probably Claremont.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 02-06-2016, 09:57 AM
Büge's Avatar
Büge Büge is offline
Safe Space
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: TO, ON, CA
Posts: 14,656
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by upupdowndown View Post
this weekend I'll dig up some choice Laurell K. Hamilton excerpts
That's a completely different kind of fantasy.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 02-06-2016, 06:35 PM
Zodar's Avatar
Zodar Zodar is offline
twinkling photon
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: It's all in the numbers.
Posts: 7,373
Default

Holy shit that Correia stuff reads like an on-the-nose parody
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 02-06-2016, 08:28 PM
Issun's Avatar
Issun Issun is offline
Mr. Autumn Man
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Sad Lesbian Capital of the World
Posts: 13,422
Default

If you think Goodkind didn't start out spouting objectivist bullshit in the first book, you haven't been paying attention.

Quote:
Originally Posted by More Like Badmean amirite
many people must be ruled to thrive. In their selfishness and greed, they see free people as their oppressors. They wish to have a leader who will cut the taller plants so the sun will reach them. They think no plant should be allowed to grow taller than the shortest, and in that way give light to all. They would rather be provided a guiding light, regardless of the fuel, than light a candle themselves
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 02-06-2016, 08:46 PM
Madmachine Madmachine is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: A really soggy mitten.
Posts: 2,173
Default

There's not enough teen escapism in this thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christopher Paolini from Eldest
Going to the wash closet, he retrieved the mirror he used for shaving and brought it into the light of a nearby lantern.

Eragon froze with surprise.

It was as if the numerous physical changes that, over time, alter the appearance of a human Rider--and which Eragon had already begun to experience since bonding with Saphira--had been completed while he was unconscious. His face was now as smooth and angled as an elf's, with ears tapered like theirs and eyes slanted like theirs, and his skin was as pale as alabaster and seemed to emit a faint glow, as if with the sheen of magic. I look like a princeling. Eragon had never before applied the term to a man, least of all himself, but the only word that described him now was beautiful. Yet he was not entirely an elf. His jaw was stronger, his brow thicker, his face broader. He was fairer than any human and more rugged than any elf.
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 02-06-2016, 09:46 PM
Issun's Avatar
Issun Issun is offline
Mr. Autumn Man
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Sad Lesbian Capital of the World
Posts: 13,422
Default

Boy, that series sure was a thing written by a guy in his late teens that read waaaayy too much genre fantasy in junior high and high school.

I mean, thank God no one thought I was publishable at that age, but wow.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 02-06-2016, 10:43 PM
Büge's Avatar
Büge Büge is offline
Safe Space
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: TO, ON, CA
Posts: 14,656
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
Boy, that series sure was a thing written by a guy in his late teens that read waaaayy too much genre fantasy in junior high and high school whose parents own a publishing company.
Key point, that.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 02-07-2016, 12:18 PM
Madmachine Madmachine is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: A really soggy mitten.
Posts: 2,173
Default

The worst part is that he took inspiration from all the wrong parts of the things he took inspiration from. Tolkien's attention to detail, not his elves or dwarves, is why he's famous for his worldbuilding, and also why he gets away with such a high word count. If you ape his elves and dwarves and write a million-word-long story about them, you get a million-word-long story with incredibly generic Tolkienian elves and dwarves. Likewise, Earthsea is good because of the rich, achingly beautiful imagery, and its system of nominal magic worked so well there because words and names were a big part of that imagery. Take away the imagery, and you're left with an only mildly interesting idea about the supernatural.
Reply With Quote
  #51  
Old 02-07-2016, 03:44 PM
Issun's Avatar
Issun Issun is offline
Mr. Autumn Man
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Sad Lesbian Capital of the World
Posts: 13,422
Default

Yeah, a genre series has to have something that separates it from the mass of clones. Martin has Shakespearean intrigue, Eddings had strong characters and dialogue, Goodkind has his appeal to horny, self-absorbed fedoras.

I guess Eragon had really good marketing?
Reply With Quote
  #52  
Old 02-07-2016, 03:49 PM
Madmachine Madmachine is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: A really soggy mitten.
Posts: 2,173
Default

Martin is interesting because he's often praised for his worldbuilding even though it's all basically low fantasy medieval Europe -- but, sans dragons, it's a much more historically accurate depiction of medieval Europe than any other series I can think of.
Reply With Quote
  #53  
Old 02-07-2016, 04:22 PM
Behemoth's Avatar
Behemoth Behemoth is offline
Dostoevsky is immortal!
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Land of Milk and Honey
Posts: 2,874
Default

Ladies and gentlemen, for your reading pleasure, some excerpts from Crystal Moon - World of Grayham Book 1, a book that many of the (no doubt sock puppet) reviews on Amazon laud as being "great for kids!" Including these may be cheating, as the book was almost certainly self-published, but it was still published:

Quote:
Along with healing people as the doctor his father always wanted him to be, he would silence the hatred for the medical profession by beating people up, unknowingly scarring his soul and feeding the demon hidden within the deepest shadows of his mind.
Quote:
Sam was muscular, with chiseled abs, which many women found to be their personal definition of perfection. At five-foot ten, 205 pounds, he was in amazing shape, and his cardio, not to mention his diet, was exemplary.
Quote:
Tonight, Sam's fight would be in Las Vegas. As he left his office on the thirteenth floor, a plain looking, dark haired secretary tossed him the keys to his new convertible Mustang and winked. "Go get 'em champ! Your dad's jet is fueled and waiting. Oh, and thanks for the new big screen. My husband and I have a bunch of our friends coming over to watch your fight. It's going to be weird seeing you on Pay-Per-View. My girlfriend, Cindy, said that she can't wait for you to take your shirt off. Her husband's jealous."

Sam smiled. "Let me think. Okay, okay, tell Cindy when I look into the camera I will flex my pecs. Make sure her husband knows I did it just for her. I've got to hurry. I'll see you Monday. Wish me luck."

"Good luck," Melissa responded. As she watched him leave, she exhaled, "I so want that."
I actually bought a used copy (which ended up being signed!) for the sole purpose of doing a something-awful-esque play-by-play, but the book broke me within thirty pages.
Reply With Quote
  #54  
Old 02-07-2016, 05:45 PM
Alex Scott's Avatar
Alex Scott Alex Scott is offline
Better be the real thing.
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5,274
Default

"Oh, Tek Sam, you've obviously had hundreds of girlfriends."
Reply With Quote
  #55  
Old 02-07-2016, 07:42 PM
Loki's Avatar
Loki Loki is offline
#deadfish2017
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 14,582
Default

Quote:
Along with healing people as the doctor his father always wanted him to be, he would silence the hatred for the medical profession by beating people up, unknowingly scarring his soul and feeding the demon hidden within the deepest shadows of his mind
Awesome. You should rethink that lets read thing.
Reply With Quote
  #56  
Old 02-07-2016, 07:58 PM
Healy's Avatar
Healy Healy is offline
D=
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 5,537
Default

Isn't that an MMA book? I mean, not that I'm complaining, but where are the elves?

Also I might try to get some auld Star Wars EU in here. We'll see.
Reply With Quote
  #57  
Old 02-08-2016, 09:29 AM
Behemoth's Avatar
Behemoth Behemoth is offline
Dostoevsky is immortal!
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Land of Milk and Honey
Posts: 2,874
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Healy View Post
Isn't that an MMA book? I mean, not that I'm complaining, but where are the elves?
Quote:
Entering the locker room, Sam lied down on a bench. He tried to quiet his mind while allowing his wounds to be tended, but a hissing sound, seemingly from nowhere, filled the room. It pierced Sam's body, reverberating throughout the essence of his soul. A chill slithered up his spine as everyone in the room heard the words, "your wish is granted." Sam instantly fell into a coma.

Leaving the needle to stitch Sam's wound dangling from the gash above his eye, Jerome and the cut man ran for help. They raced down the hall out of sight.

The red-eyed announcer appeared in a cloud of smoke beside Sam's motionless figure. He leaned down and whispered in the fighter's ear. "Shall we see how long it takes before your memory returns, old friend? Can you believe the idiot doesn't know I'm on to him? I'm far too clever. I have plans for us. You simply need to be reminded of who you really are. I have missed you. All will be revealed when the proper moment arrives."

Sam's body vanished.
Reply With Quote
  #58  
Old 02-09-2016, 08:29 AM
Madmachine Madmachine is offline
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: A really soggy mitten.
Posts: 2,173
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
Goodkind has his appeal to horny, self-absorbed fedoras.
Wait a minute, since when has fedora appeal been something that sets you apart from the crowd in the world of genre fantasy? It's far from ubiquitous, but it's by no means uncommon. There's fedora appeal somewhere in every subgenre of fantasy, among both the good examples and the bad. There's the bizarre fetish fanservice of John Norman's sword-and-planet Gor, and there's the antitheistic Euphoria of Philip Pullman's YA fantasy.
Reply With Quote
  #59  
Old 02-09-2016, 10:15 AM
Alex Scott's Avatar
Alex Scott Alex Scott is offline
Better be the real thing.
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 5,274
Default

And anyway, in my experience, SFF fans wear actual fedoras, not trilbys.

Also,

Reply With Quote
  #60  
Old 02-09-2016, 11:50 AM
Zef's Avatar
Zef Zef is offline
Find Your Reason
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: The Vortex World
Posts: 28,173
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
I guess Eragon had really good marketing?
Did it? Other than all the hoopla surrounding the first (and only) movie, I didn't hear much of a whimper about the series. Hell, I think the movie itself might have killed public interest in it, what with its extremely transparent aping of Star Wars and LotR.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Behemoth View Post
I actually bought a used copy (which ended up being signed!) for the sole purpose of doing a something-awful-esque play-by-play, but the book broke me within thirty pages.

It... it actually reads like something eminently MSTable. I crave it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Scott View Post
And anyway, in my experience, SFF fans wear actual fedoras, not trilbys.

Also,

Yeah, but...

a) Terry Pratchett had style.

b) That fedora has Terry Pratchett under it.

Very few trillbys find themselves in the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
fantasy

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:07 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Your posts ©you, 2007