Welcome one, welcome all, to the Talking Time Top 50 VG Box Art Exhibition

[Johnny Unusual]

Originally Posted by Octopus Prime

Did Sonic ALWAYS have four fingers and a thumb, or is this just a weird one-off occurrence.

Because I never noticed it before and it is freakin' my beacon

I know, right?

[BEAT]

LET'S LOOK AT
THE OTHER BOXES
YEAH I GOT SPEED BIG STUPID SPEED DUMB FUCKING SPEED
#20 - SONIC & KNUCKLES
PART TWO

S3&K - PC - NORTH AMERICA

Well hey, there's Sonic, and there's Knuckles! And this box collects them together in one place! Simple, and descriptive!

RANKING: C-


S3&K - PC - PAL REGIONS

I already talked about how the logo is good! I'M NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW THE LOGO IS GOOD AGAIN!

RANKING: SONIC SCREENSAVER!


S3&K - PC - UNITED KINGDOM

Is there anything better in life than limited-run budget re-printings of PC games by small publishing houses that always make it a point to take up half the box's cover with their name?

No. No there is not.

RANKING: XPLOSIV!


S3&K - PC - UNITED KINGDOM AGAIN!

TURNS OUT YOU CAN IMPROVE ON PERFECTION!

RANKING: XPLOSIV!!!


S3&K - PC - JAPAN

I'm still not a huge fan of the WHITE BACKGROUND + RANDOM SHAPES design of the Japan Classic Sonic Boxes, but I kinda like this one's relatively restrained take on the concept. I'm a little surprised that this design got used for the PC collection, as it would have worked just fine for the Japanese Mega Drive release. Go figure.

RANKING: B-


S3&K - PC

FRONT


BACK

Upon it's release, The Sonic & Garfield Pack was a universally beloved masterpiece, with critics heaping praise upon both of its stars. It wasn't until later that the public learned of the project's deeply troubled production. Irreconcilable creative differences between the two lead to near-daily arguments, and at least one on-set fistfight. When production finally wrapped, both had vowed to never work with eachother again.

Sonic laid out his side of dispute in an incendiary Rolling Stone interview.

So what was it like working with Garfield?

Worst job of my life. That orange slob was so fucking slow! We'd all be all set up 6AM sharp every morning, Just, ready to go like a bunch of professionals. Except Garfield would be nowhere to be seen! The entire staff would be stuck standing around going "Where the hell is Garfield?" and hoping they wouldn't have to be the one to go and bang on his trailer door and drag his lazy ass out from under the covers while he did that creepy thought broadcasting thing to bitch about Mondays, regardless of the actual day of the week. I don't think I ever saw that fucker outside of his trailer by choice before noon.

So you don't see yourself doing any more collaborations with him.

Fuckin' right I don't. From now on, I'm only working with people I already know and trust, starting with someone I know better than anyone else.

And who would that be?

ME.

RANKING:

S3&K - PC... AGAIN

Thus the two stars went their separate ways. Sonic immediately made good on his promise to collaborate more with himself, resulting his first project as his own co-star: the Twin 2 Pack. Its relative success encouraged Sonic keep pulling that thread, resulting in one of the oddest phases of his career.

As for Garfield, he was never seen on a team again. Over the next few months the legendary Fat Cat withdrew completely from the public eye. The months of absence turned into years, causing many to speculate that Garfield had died years ago, or worse, had never existed at all.

RANKING:

S3&K - PC AGAIN AGAIN

Emboldened by the success of his first self-collaboration, Sonic's desire to surround himself with himself with went from a worrying trend to a dangerous fixation. Two Sonics was one thing, but four? How many Sonics would Sonic need to Sonic around with before he would be satisfied?!

RANKING: SONIC PLEASE


S3&K - PC AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN.

It wasn't until the disastrous SEGA PC MEGAPACK when Sonic finally admitted he has a problem.

"Yeah, the whole teaming up with a bunch of alternate versions of myself thing just got completely out of hand near the end" he related in a later interview with Entertainment Tonight. "I guess I'd be willing to come back to it eventually, but I'd have to keep it small, like just me and one other me from way back. And maybe only do it for big anniversaries".

RANKING: SEGA BASS FISHING.


S3&K - PLUG & PLAY CONSOLES - EUROPE

Lol look at these fuckin things.

RANKING: F-


S3&K - GAMECUBE

Little bit on the generic side.

RANKING: C


S3&K - PS2

Okay, better, but can we take it even further?

RANKING: B


S3&K - XBOX

I'm starting to really feel it now! We're almost there!!

RANKING: A-


S3&K - PS2 AGAIN

YES! PERFECT! FUCKING PERFECT!

RANKING: A+++


S3&K - PS3 - NORTH AMERICA

So way back in part one, I mentioned that Sonic was subtly redesigned for western releases. This is what I'm talking about. instead of a whole bunch of quills all over his back, Sonic's got this Mowhawk thing going on. It's one of those dumb details that you don't really notice unless you're looking for it. It's on all the Genesis-era boxes, then disappears entirely for the rest of the franchise's history, save this one exception which is a deliberate throwback.

Oh also the North American 360 Cover is the exact same whatever.

RANKING: THROWBACK THURSDAY!


S3&K - XBOX 360 - PAL REGIONS

The PAL region version of the game was renamed Ultimate MEGA DRIVE collection, and Sonic was cruelly robbed of his top billing! Unacceptable!

RANKING: F---------


S3&K - DS - NORTH AMERICA

Sonic is good. Green hill is all pixely and blocky like I like! No complaints here!

RANKING: B


S3&K - DS - EUROPE

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU ASSHOLES DO WITH MY PIXELY AND BLOCKY GREEN HILL?!?!?!?!?!

RANKING: F-------

[Octopus Prime]

BEAT POSTS FAST DOGS

On top of all the everything else in these posts, kind of want to thank you for mentioning Bad Game Hall of Fame, a site I didn’t know existed and which exists extremely firmly in my wheelhouse.

[BEAT]

I'M A HELPER!

[WildcatJF]

#19 Final Fantasy VI (SNES, JP, 1994, Square)
Created by Yoshitaka Amano
Votes: 3 for 75 points
Highest: Kirin (#4)

A different Final Fantasy approaches! The series took a swing further into steampunk and science fiction than ever before with VI, and the Japanese box captures the new thematic elements beautifully. Terra, the first woman to lead the franchise, looms over a cityscape in her Magitek Armor, creating a splendid sense of intrigue for her narrative. I quite like it, as did our voters.

This was Yoshitaka Amano's last major involvement handling character designs and illustrations for the series. And what a way to hand off the reins; this is by far some of his greatest work in my opinion.

Here's a non-logo version:

[Issun]

Amano's work for VI is still the gold standard for RPG character art, and is a big reason why I voted for this one.

[Daikaiju]

One of the best bits about FFXIV is getting the Amano Magi-tek Mount from 6

[Kirin]

Yeah, this is (obviously) one of my faves, and yeah it’s partly nostalgia, FFVI being one of my all time favorite games, but also an aesthetic high point, with Amano stretching his steampunk muscles and designing a larger cast of characters than ever before. The cover is just super evocative and promises a FF with a lot of new excitement.

[WisteriaHysteria]

Originally Posted by Kirin

The cover is just super evocative and promises a FF with a lot of new excitement.

One day, I just want to see a game that actually looks like Amano art, instead of somebody laundering his ideas through a boring house-style. Can you imagine a game with the fidelity of SaGa Frontier II where the sprites and painted backgrounds were a lot more faithful to Amano's imagination?

Originally Posted by WildcatJF

Terra, the first woman to lead the franchise...

I will never stop resenting FF6 for this. Because they really fucked it up hard. I can't help but imagine all the old misogynistic suits in a board room freaked out about the idea and started hedging their bets super hard. First FF with a female lead? Better include like 20 other playable characters to steal the spotlight/screentime away from her, and make the game an ensemble thing so you're not even sure who the lead is and never have to actually use Terra. Terra deserved better. FF6 deserved better. I love this box art so much, and I'm never going to be able to look at it and not see it as immense potential unfulfilled.

[Peklo]

I don't dislike it but I find myself wishing the composition for FFVI's cover was more in line with Amano's previous three FF covers--the up-close portrayed drama with stronger linework. It's still a good representative example of Square box art on the system, though.

[WildcatJF]

#18 The Legend of Zelda (NES, NA, 1987, Nintendo)
Created by Timothy Girvin
Votes: 3 for 77 points
Highest: Torzelbaum (#5)

The originator of the Legend of Zelda franchise marks the 3rd entry of the series on our list so far. And it's a very iconic example of early box art, with a bold gold aesthetic, the hole in the box to highlight the gold cartridge within, and a banged-up shield that emphasizes key elements of the game. It's very classy stuff.

Girvin is an American-based brand designer who was commissioned to do something unique for Zelda's debut. He decided to reject a character based illustration to focus on the shield, font and, of course, that shiny cart within. This would not be the only time Girvin's company would work with Nintendo; turns out the firm also handled a lot of the packaging for the Game Boy, as seen here.

[Torzelbaum]

That shield might be banged up but it looks to be in a lot better shape than the weapons from the Final Fantasy 1 cover.

Originally Posted by WildcatJF

the hole in the box to highlight the gold cartridge within

This is one of the things I really like about this box - which is why I voted specifically for this version. I appreciate that the cover incorporates the uniqueness of the cartridge as part of its entire aesthetic.

[Destil]

This art is faulty! It has a hole in it.

Also isn't it supposed to show the fourth symbol on the cart label, not the gold back? That's how I remember mine, even a little piece of styrofoam in there to raise it up so that works.

[Torzelbaum]

Sometimes a piece of art is defined by what it lacks instead of what it has.

The fourth symbol on the cart label is just a duplicate of the heart. Also, maybe yours is different but I think the cover normally shows the ridged vertical section of the cart (the section with the recessed part that you pinch to pull the cart out of the NES).

[Daikaiju]

Next time someone asks you why Zelda fans want Gold this or that, point to this.

[BEAT]

I would say sorry I'm running late but I'M NOT SORRY IN THE SLIGHTEST I HAD A GREAT WEEKEND IGNORING ALL OF ONLINE.

[BEAT]

LET'S LOOK AT
THE OTHER BOXES
FOR FINAL FANTASY III
#19 - FINAL FANTASY VI

SUPER NINTENDO - NORTH AMERICA

I've never actually looked at this box before now, so I never realized that teddy bear thing HAS A KNIFE HOLY SHIT GET IN THE CAR.

RANKING:



PLAYSTATION - NORTH AMERICA

Terra got top billing over the guys from Final Fantasy 5. On one hand, this was FF5's first US release and nobody knew who any of those dorks were. On the OTHER hand, this release was done back when we were all still calling it Final Fantasy 3, and nobody but the nerdiest of nerds was capable of recognizing the lady lounging on the robot ostrich thing as the lady with the green hair from their Super Nintendo.

Hey, I bet you can't guess what I think of this art based on all the other posts I've made about how much I hate portraits copy-pasted on top of faded backdrops! What's that? You think I think it sucks? Lucky guess.

RANKING: IT SUCKS.


PLAYSTATION - EUROPE

To square's credit, the PAL release of Fantasy Anthology has a significantly nicer cover. I've never been a fan of the series traditional artwork that makes all it's character look like a bunch of emaciated ghosts, but the visual of them all hanging out on the front of a big boat is okay.

RANKING: B-


PLAYSTATION - PAL REGIONS

SQUARE EXECUTIVE 1: I just realized something! We never released Final Fantasy 6 on the SNES in any of the Pal Regions.
SQUARE EXECUTIVE 2: Oh no!
SE1: We should fix that, by selling it to them on the Playstation!
SE2: As a part of FF anthology, right?
SE1: No! All by itself!
SE2: ...
SE1: At full price!
SE2: Uh.
SE1: And we should make the box a Completely blank white mass, with nothing but the name in the middle of it! With like just a weird outline of a robot bird mech thing!
SE2: But.
SE1: And we'll release it in 2002! THREE FULL YEARS AFTER THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN PLAY IT ON THEIR PLAYSTATION!
SE2: Oh my god... THAT'S THE MOST GENIUS IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!
SE1: HOLY SHIT I KNOW RIGHT?!

And then they did all of those things.

RANKING: F-----


PLAYSTATION - JAPAN

So they took not one, not two, but three of the most beloved Super Nintendo RPGs of all time,

And they sold them in that.

Somebody has got to be fucking kidding me here.

RANKING: F


GAME BOY ADVANCE

Do I really gotta tell you how much I dislike these bland-ass colorless boxes again?

I mean, I'll do it. I'll absolutely do it again.

RANKING: BUT LIKE, DO I REALLY HAVE TO?


GAME BOY ADVANCE - JAPAN

I do, don't I? Fine.

*Ahem*

I don't much care for the all-white Final Fantasy boxes. They are bland and boring. The only reason they stand out is for how appallingly lazy they are. The monochrome blobs they stick between the two words are indistinguishable from each-other at a glance. The addition of a pencil sketch of an anime girl in the background does not fix any of these issues, it exacerbates them.

These boxes make me want to play these games less.

RANKING: F-


OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK

WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH

RANKING: BRING DA RUCKUS

[Taeryn]

being the American that I am, I don't really know the FF6 box art that well. Really amazing work.

Having said that, I enjoy the FF3US box now that i'm looking at it more closely thanks to BEAT pointing out the Knife. I didn't vote for it, but I like the US box too.

I didn't vote for LoZ either, but that gold cart fixated me as a kid.

[BEAT]

LET'S LOOK AT
THE OTHER BOXES
TRIANGLE BOI WHO(M) DOES SORDS
#18 - THE LEGEND OF ZELDA

FAMICOM DISK SYSTEM - JAPAN

The thing that immediately catches my eye on this box is the Sword at the bottom of the Logo. It's some kinda weird Rapier deal, totally unlike the ones actually seen in any Zelda game. So that's a thing.

RANKING: B-


FAMICOM - JAPAN

The 1 on the box makes me think that this game's release as a Famicom cartridge release was late enough that they needed a way to let you know that you weren't buying ZELDA II, the adventure of Link. Neato.

RANKING: B


GAME BOY ADVANCE - NORTH AMERICA

Ah, so they made the gold part black, and the silver part gold! Shrewd, Nintendo! Very shrewd!

RANKING: SHREWD


GAME BOY ADVANCE - EUROPE

WHERE'S THE GIANT CURVED GAME BOY ADVANCE LOGO SIDE THINGY?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT SYSTEM I'M BUYING THIS GAME FOR?!?!

RANKING: HOW?!


GAME BOY ADVANCE - JAPAN

Originally Posted by BEAT

Box arts that are just pictures of prior box arts is a severely underappreciated art form.

It was true when I said it and it's still true now.

RANKING: A+


GAME BOY COLOR

Surprise! There is no Game Boy Color Version of the first Legend of Zelda! Only a persistent rumor that the Oracle Games were originally meant to be a remake of the original Legend of Zelda! YOU HAVE FALLEN FOR MY CUNNING DECEPTION AHAHAHAHAHA!

RANKING: TREMBLE BEFORE MY CUNNING TRICKERY!


GAMECUBE

So you might already know that Animal Crossing contains a complete Rom of the Legend of Zelda, which is completely inaccessable in-game without a cheating device. What you might NOT know is that the NES piece of furniture for your Animals' little house is actually a fully functional emulator, that actually scans your gamecube Memory Card for ROMs to play! ROMs that would logically never be there of course, but still!

RANKING: A WEIRD HACKER'S DREAM COME TRUE.

[WisteriaHysteria]

I have no nostalgia for the first Zelda and that probably affects my appreciation of its cover. If anything, I associate its simplicity and generic look with how rudimentary and obsolete its graphics looked to me coming to the game like a decade late. The Famicom covers aren't amazing or anything, but they're a lot more functional with regards to giving the prospective player an idea of what they're getting into or for interpreting the simple 8-bit sprites/environment. I also really like the typography of the title in Japanese too. It's a SUPER 80s anime adventure thing going on in what it evokes. It belongs right next to Laputa or Nausicaa or Future Boy Conan.

Didn't Animal Crossing interact with those Nintendo collectable cards? You scanned the magnetic strip on them or something and it either unlocked or downloaded the rom off the strip, and let you play it in AC? Am I missremembering/hallucinating that feature? Also, TIL the Japanese name of Animal Crossing was Animal Forest.

BEAT hating on FF6's myriad of covers harshes my vibe. I actually like the JPN Collections cover (the watery background) a lot as it reminds me of a lot of the kinds of covers you'd see printed for the Digicube soundtracks from that era. I also like the FF Collection cover (minus the puke-green Greatest Hits stripe obviously) a lot. "...nobody but the nerdiest of nerds was capable of recognizing the lady lounging on the robot ostrich thing..." Haha, but that's their target demo! And it clearly did well enough to merit reprints and a Greatest Hits edition so it obviously stopped nobody.

Also, the drawing of Mog on the front of the NA cover, I always interpreted as an SD version of Mog balancing on a sword or something? And it's kinda trippy to realize it's only his top-half and he's like flexing and shit.

[Daikaiju]

I should point out that in Japan, Nintendo went full out for the GBA NES Classic/Famicom Mini series, replicating the original packaging in miniature, complete with manuals and such. So what you're seeing here is a replica of the original Famicom Box in a clear case.

[BEAT]

!!!!!!

[Mightyblue]

Also, Zelda totes uses a rapier in Twilight Princess (and Hyrule Warriors).

[Issun]

Originally Posted by BEAT

SUPER NINTENDO - NORTH AMERICA

I've never actually looked at this box before now, so I never realized that teddy bear thing HAS A KNIFE HOLY SHIT GET IN THE CAR.

RANKING:

[Torzelbaum]

Originally Posted by WisteriaHysteria

Also, the drawing of Mog on the front of the NA cover, I always interpreted as an SD version of Mog balancing on a sword or something? And it's kinda trippy to realize it's only his top-half and he's like flexing and shit.

Geez, if you're ever around Moogles you're going to have to be careful since you* don't seem to be able to recognize their threat displays.

*unlike BEAT.

[Kirin]

I also voted for the gold NES Zelda cover, which was kind of a nostalgia vote despite the fact that I didn't actually *own* it. Pretty sure I borrowed it from a friend and played it some, though I don't think I actually beat it at the time. But that enticing shiny gold cart man (and yeah, I think it normally shows the ribbed grip part of the cartridge, which makes an interesting texture in the shield window).

I do quite like the JP cover as well, the logo is aces, and the view of an expansive top-down world shows something we hadn't seen in any other home console game to that point.

Meanwhile, the US FF3 box is pretty decent as well, nice typography, and Mog is always fun, even if the "play it loud" era ad campaign is slightly eye-rolling. And plenty of purple is always a good color scheme.

[Torzelbaum]

Originally Posted by BEAT

[CENTER]OFFICIAL SOUNDTRACK

WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH
WU TANG CLAN AIN'T NUTHIN TA FUCK WITH

RANKING: BRING DA RUCKUS

[Destil]

Originally Posted by Mightyblue

Also, Zelda totes uses a rapier in Twilight Princess (and Hyrule Warriors).

That's totally on the title screen of Zelda 1 as well.

Also, thanks Japan! I'd feel weird typing out "Zelda 1" if not for you.

[Violentvixen]

Originally Posted by BEAT

GAMECUBE

So you might already know that Animal Crossing contains a complete Rom of the Legend of Zelda, which is completely inaccessable in-game without a cheating device. What you might NOT know is that the NES piece of furniture for your Animals' little house is actually a fully functional emulator, that actually scans your gamecube Memory Card for ROMs to play! ROMs that would logically never be there of course, but still!

RANKING: A WEIRD HACKER'S DREAM COME TRUE.

I have never heard of this. This is nuts.

[WisteriaHysteria]

Ah! I was right. The Nintendo eReader! What a weird piece of history!