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  #61  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:22 AM
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If you blow into an NES cartridge, the only thing that happens is you've demonstrated that you blow.
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  #62  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:23 AM
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Jak 2 is too dark and is not funny at all, worst game in the series
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  #63  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:23 AM
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Metroid: Other M was the development and character arc Samus deserved.
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  #64  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:25 AM
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I can't decide which is the funnier video game: Gex or Bubsy: Clawed Encounters of the Furred Kind.
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  #65  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:26 AM
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Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
There's no skill involved in playing Crawl; you either get lucky or you die.
*bites bottom lip hard*
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  #66  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:30 AM
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Vandal Hearts is just a sad, pathetic excuse of an FFT clone that no one would ever play if given half a choice.

Even if the other choice is "burn your PS1 in a fire".
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  #67  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
Final Fantasy Tactics is a boring, ugly, grindy, badly translated mess of a game with too many obtuse systems and a ridiculous plot that lives a mile up its own ass. It's one of the worst SRPGs every made, and if it didn't have "Final Fantasy" in the name then no one would even remember it today.
I'm glad that FFT: Advance learned from these mistakes and jettisoned the job switching, the interminable cutscenes, and made the battles more of a freeform map-based affair.
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  #68  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:43 AM
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Don't forget the judges, which added some fun and much-needed variety to encounters.
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  #69  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
Vandal Hearts is just a sad, pathetic excuse of an FFT clone that no one would ever play if given half a choice.

Even if the other choice is "burn your PS1 in a fire".
You think you're trying to upset me, but really I'm just always happy any time that someone actually remembers that Vandal Hearts exists.
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  #70  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
Don't forget the judges, which added some fun and much-needed variety to encounters.
Exactly! Puts you out of your comfort zone so you're forced to use new tactics.
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  #71  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:50 AM
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All game developers are bullshit huckster wizards at best and blind lazy slaves to the industry at worst, because all players only needs a few elongated raw bits of concepts they already enjoy to be constantly presented in novel ways. Game design quality is just one's subjective desire for their ideas of games, and is solely based in a frozen blend of culture, nostalgia, and escapism. With a sufficiently large enough range of pre-arranged assets and frameworks, an infinite number of games could be churned out by random generation alone to satisfy nearly everybody (and the rest will stick with games at least a decade old). Considering how many lives have been ruined by conservative harassment and development crunch time and insular community abuse, and considering how players are so far removed from the actual rigors of game development that they don't care at all about how the sausage is made, it is immoral to work on or discuss games and present it as a healthy hobby / career instead of working on and playing from that random game generator.

Last edited by Tatterdemalion; 08-24-2016 at 12:03 PM.
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  #72  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
You think you're trying to upset me, but really I'm just always happy any time that someone actually remembers that Vandal Hearts exists.
Vandal what?
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  #73  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:56 AM
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There are so many good games that it's a waste of time to play anything except the best of the best.

There's also no reason to touch anything except the best version of a game. This goes for ports as well as iterative sequels.

Mega Man X, Super Metroid, Ghouls 'n Ghosts (Arcade): Recommended.

Mega Man X2, Metroid Zero Mission, Ghouls 'n Ghosts (Mega Drive): Throw these away.
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  #74  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kazin View Post
Vandal what?
I'm not sure either. I think he means Kingdom Hearts. It's a pretty popular series, JBear! Lots of people know about it.
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  #75  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Unusual View Post
Skate or Die 2 is the better game because you murder the mayor's wife in the first level.
And his dog before the game even starts!

I like how Ariel the Little Mermaid decided to be a skater once she had legs for good.
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  #76  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:12 PM
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Final Fantasy VII destroyed the series forever.
But then FFVIII did it.
Then FFIX did it.
Then FFX, and FFXI, and FFXII, and FFXIII.
Then Dissidia had you destroy the series.

Everyone destroyed Final Fantasy.
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  #77  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:14 PM
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Even if Pokemon Go wasn't a trap that demonstrates all of game design as worthless maximalism, there's only one good Pokemon amongst hundreds of pieces of trash, and it's...

...

Stantler. Minun? No, wait, Mothim. Mega Steelix?

Whatever, the rest are all memes or sexualized or badass-for-teens or worthlessly-naturalistic or too weirdly inexplicable. Mechanics don't matter and neither does design sense- all Pokemon discussion just dissolves into imposing taste onto each other, like flashy dog shows without any actual dogs.
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  #78  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:16 PM
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Remakes frequently fall hard in capturing what made their source material great—and even when they don't, the historical value and iconic details of the original always outweigh any amount of flashier graphics or quality-of-life features.

Super Mario Bros. 1-3, Ocarina of Time, The Wind Waker: Yes, absolutely.

Super Mario All-Stars, Ocarina of Time 3D, The Wind Waker HD: Not in my house.
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  #79  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:22 PM
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couple of my friends were calling a bunch of pokemon ugly a couple weeks ago and i just left the conversation, i'm not here for that
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  #80  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:25 PM
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Nintendo's version of the Zelda timeline is internally inconsistent with each game and doesn't match my own fan theory and therefore every Zelda game released since is bad.

Actually I take that back. All Zelda games are bad. Especially your favorite.
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  #81  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:27 PM
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The primary draw of all emulators is the ability to apply pixel smoothing filters to those jagged old pixels in old games.
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  #82  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
The primary draw of all emulators is the ability to apply pixel smoothing filters to those jagged old pixels in old games.
Bravo. You did it.
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  #83  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:41 PM
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Shin Megami Tensei is tryhard garbage that is literally impossible to get past the first ten minutes of any game because everything kills you in one hit.
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  #84  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:55 PM
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People who play RPGs are depressed gamers who like to sit alone in their dark rooms and play slow games.
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  #85  
Old 08-24-2016, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
Vandal Hearts is just a sad, pathetic excuse of an FFT clone that no one would ever play if given half a choice.

Even if the other choice is "burn your PS1 in a fire".
*a long slow breath that stutters at the end*
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  #86  
Old 08-24-2016, 01:06 PM
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That game you like? It isn't very good.
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  #87  
Old 08-24-2016, 01:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aturtledoesbite View Post
Mega Man 2: It's a nose.
Oooooooh you.

Oh yoooooou
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  #88  
Old 08-24-2016, 01:22 PM
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Super Mario Bros isn't actually a good game. It's held up entirely on nostalgia.
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  #89  
Old 08-24-2016, 01:24 PM
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Being an FPS, it's Destiny's destiny to suck in every way.
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  #90  
Old 08-24-2016, 01:26 PM
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The best port of Final Fantasy VI is the iOS port, for its pixel smoothed graphics.
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