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  #32341  
Old 01-09-2018, 02:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Bruce Willis shows up and provides the most phoned-in performance I think I've ever seen.
Isn't that Bruce Willis's career now? Show up long enough for shooting to wrap and then cash his paycheque.
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  #32342  
Old 01-09-2018, 03:24 PM
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Lady Jaye shows up as a news reporter and says she's from Fox News.

President: "Oh, so that's why you look so fair and balanced."

I can't tell you if this line is awful or amazing but it's stuck in my head for years.
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  #32343  
Old 01-09-2018, 03:32 PM
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Lady Jaye is also proud to be part of the Joe team because it means she's succeeding without relying on her good looks.

This in a scene immediately after she uses her good looks to seduce someone as a distraction, and immediately before another scene where she sees her good looks to seduce someone as a distraction.
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  #32344  
Old 01-09-2018, 04:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Büge View Post
Isn't that Bruce Willis's career now? Show up long enough for shooting to wrap and then cash his paycheque.
Yes, but even by the standards of late Bruce Willis he seems really disinterested.

And while the other stuff mentioned is pretty great, the only thing that tops mountainside ninja fight is the missile motorcycle.
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  #32345  
Old 01-09-2018, 07:26 PM
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Default Can you smell what Roadblock is cooking? Because he is a chef.

The Rock drives around in what is essentially a real-life version of a GI Joe vehicle.

Storm Shadow is healed by the ancient ninja art of laser medicine.

Bruce Willis' character's suburban home is packed to the brim with hidden weapon caches.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Raider Dr. Jones View Post
The Rock does a cowboy speech where he quotes Jay-Z.
Somewhat fitting since RZA portrays Blind Master in the movie. (Why do I get the feeling that he did everything in his power to be first in line for that audition?)
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  #32346  
Old 01-09-2018, 07:58 PM
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Excuse me, but he's the HARD MASTER.

And, honestly, if I were The RZA and I saw a casting call for someone named The Hard Master, I would run, not walk, directly on to the set working with the assumption that I already had the part, and e auditions were a mere formality.
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  #32347  
Old 01-09-2018, 08:03 PM
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God, why don't I own that movie on some sort of disc.
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Old 01-09-2018, 08:05 PM
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No. The Hard Master is a different guy who was killed by Storm Shadow in a flashback.
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  #32349  
Old 01-09-2018, 08:39 PM
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in my headcanon the Hard Master was Forest Whitaker in Ghost Dog mode
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  #32350  
Old 01-09-2018, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Raider Dr. Jones View Post
in my headcanon the Hard Master was Forest Whitaker in Ghost Dog mode
Only the blind may truly Always See Everything.
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  #32351  
Old 01-10-2018, 09:46 AM
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It is a pretty damn good spookems movie, and a huge leg-up over the book in a number of ways. Kind of felt like it shared a lot of DNA with Nightmare on Elm Street as well (genuinely unsure whether the book predated that series, but with a shapeshifting supernatural murderer who preys on childrens fears as your antagonist, comparisons are kind of unavoidable).

Really liked Pennywise himself, too. Even ignoring all the monstery bits in him, there was just an endless amount of tiny details that give away how inhuman he is; from his stilted speech, misshaped head and the fact that he moved like a marionette rather than a person whenever he was shown walking around. Just kind of came as a relief when his mouth turned into a lamprey, as that was less uncanny.
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Old 01-10-2018, 12:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Just kind of came as a relief when his mouth turned into a lamprey, as that was less uncanny.
*place 100 copies of the thinking emoji, each one slowly becoming more and more corrupted*
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  #32353  
Old 01-11-2018, 04:14 PM
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Last night, some Netflix scrounging turned up Absolutely Anything, a movie I don't recall ever hearing existed previously, which is KINDA WEIRD given who's in it:
Simon Pegg
Rob Riggle
Robin Williams
Every surviving Python (with Terry Jones directing)

I was actually really worried it was going to be unwatchably bad and everyone who saw it had just agreed never to speak of it, but, no, it's a middling-to-good comedy. The Pythons are an omnipotent space federation who give Simon Pegg wish granting powers as a random test of humanity's moral character. Hijinx ensue. Some clever, some dumb. So... no idea why it was never on my radar.
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  #32354  
Old 01-12-2018, 06:47 AM
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It was the unwatchably bad thing. According to critics.
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  #32355  
Old 01-12-2018, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
It is a pretty damn good spookems movie, and a huge leg-up over the book in a number of ways. Kind of felt like it shared a lot of DNA with Nightmare on Elm Street as well (genuinely unsure whether the book predated that series, but with a shapeshifting supernatural murderer who preys on childrens fears as your antagonist, comparisons are kind of unavoidable).

Really liked Pennywise himself, too. Even ignoring all the monstery bits in him, there was just an endless amount of tiny details that give away how inhuman he is; from his stilted speech, misshaped head and the fact that he moved like a marionette rather than a person whenever he was shown walking around. Just kind of came as a relief when his mouth turned into a lamprey, as that was less uncanny.
I really liked the detail of his eyes sort of drifting in different directions. Which apparently wasn't even a special effect.
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  #32356  
Old 01-12-2018, 12:11 PM
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i saw Jumanji last night and it was absolutely fantastic. hilarious, tons of great action, and the best ever one shot D&D game captured on tape. I went in with zero expectations, and came out thinking Jack Black needs to be nominated for best supporting actor for his incredible work in this.

Seriously, i recommend it unreservedly. what a blast.
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  #32357  
Old 01-12-2018, 12:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Octopus Prime View Post
Bruce Willis shows up and provides the most phoned-in performance I think I've ever seen.
He needs to work on something he is passionate about, a pet project.
Summer 2019: Hudson Hawk 2: the Mario Brothers Revenge
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  #32358  
Old 01-12-2018, 02:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dracula View Post
I really liked the detail of his eyes sort of drifting in different directions. Which apparently wasn't even a special effect.
Nothing against him, but I’m so very glad they went for the exact opposite of Tim Curry in this one; a monster who looks like a clown is a much more interesting villain than a monster-clown.

My only real complaint with the movie is that, unlike in the book, there’s no real explanation for why all the adults in town are all such dicks. It’s just that everyone over the age of 13 is inexplicably a complete jerk.
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  #32359  
Old 01-12-2018, 03:00 PM
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I figured they were implying that by having the adults always watching that creepy children's show.
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  #32360  
Old 01-13-2018, 12:51 AM
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Holy SHIT I did catch the creepy show but never saw the causality.
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  #32361  
Old 01-13-2018, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shivam View Post
i saw Jumanji last night and it was absolutely fantastic. hilarious, tons of great action, and the best ever one shot D&D game captured on tape. I went in with zero expectations, and came out thinking Jack Black needs to be nominated for best supporting actor for his incredible work in this.

Seriously, i recommend it unreservedly. what a blast.
We just went to the theater... my mother and aunt watched Jumanji and I opted for Paddington 2. I'm standing by my choice but they were really happy with Jumanji, calling it "excellent." Maybe I'll catch it myself next week.
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  #32362  
Old 01-13-2018, 08:03 PM
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I watched Primer. It was amazing for being made on a $7000 budget (that's literally nothing). Beyond that, on its own merits, it was just Pretty Good.

People say it's the most confusing or convoluted time travel movie ever. Maybe that's true, but I honestly didn't have that big a problem following it? I probably couldn't have perfectly explained what cycle each person was on at any given moment, but I was never lost or confused.
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  #32363  
Old 01-14-2018, 12:57 AM
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You don't need me to tell you that Live-Action Devilman is terrible, or a betrayal of basically every theme Devilman ever had. It's an impressively literal adaptation cutting mostly for cost but it never feels like it even attempts to build up to coherent themes of its own or a successful representation of the manga's themes. Best thing it gave the world was a three headed Bob Sapp chimera newscaster.
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  #32364  
Old 01-14-2018, 08:02 AM
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The Post is a cheesy, in-your-face-relevant Spielberg issues movie, but holy shit it's very nearly the best possible version of that description. (It goes a little bit overboard toward the end, as Steve is won't to do.) And I love that Hanks and Streep are surrounded by an ensemble drawn pretty much exclusively from TV's best and brightest, including both halves of Mr. Show.
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  #32365  
Old 01-14-2018, 11:17 AM
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I watched Mother! for the first time. That last act sure is something. I don't see myself watching it again anytime soon, but I am thinking about it now.

Its a minor miracle this movie was put into wide release given how unconventional it is. The power of Jennifer Lawrence I suppose.
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  #32366  
Old 01-14-2018, 07:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul le Fou View Post
I watched Primer. It was amazing for being made on a $7000 budget (that's literally nothing). Beyond that, on its own merits, it was just Pretty Good.

People say it's the most confusing or convoluted time travel movie ever. Maybe that's true, but I honestly didn't have that big a problem following it? I probably couldn't have perfectly explained what cycle each person was on at any given moment, but I was never lost or confused.
Yeah, it's really just a matter of who's backstabbing who. The only thing I found confusing was toward the end where it seemed like they just ran out of money to show as much of the story as they wanted.
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  #32367  
Old 01-15-2018, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taosterman View Post
And I love that Hanks and Streep are surrounded by an ensemble drawn pretty much exclusively from TV's best and brightest, including both halves of Mr. Show.
Oh shit
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  #32368  
Old 01-15-2018, 09:27 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Adrenaline View Post
Oh shit
Bob Odenkirk is the third most important role in the movie, and he's terrific.
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  #32369  
Old 01-17-2018, 03:50 AM
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Miss Sloane is the story of Jessica Chastain as a sociopathic Capitol Hill lobbyist as we root her on for being smarter and more ruthless than everyone else. It has fast-fire bantering dialogue straight out of the Aaron Sorkin playbook and an ending that seems fairly absurd. But it's still a pretty entertaining film and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a political thriller.
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  #32370  
Old 01-17-2018, 07:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taosterman View Post
an ensemble drawn pretty much exclusively from TV's best and brightest, including both halves of Mr. Show.
The best part is that they thought that this might have happened on purpose, but then they asked about it and had to awkwardly explain to Steven Spielberg what Mr. Show was because he had no idea.
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