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  #1  
Old 12-06-2017, 11:55 AM
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Default Stop posting about Star Wars

Just stop. Y'all posted enough.
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Old 12-06-2017, 11:58 AM
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Starrcade
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:01 PM
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this thread is now for spewing off contextless quotes from that great star war franchise

ill start

"the midi chlorine must flow"
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  #4  
Old 12-06-2017, 12:04 PM
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"Live long and prosper, Frodo."
-- Albus Dumbledore (Star Wars Episode III: Age of Ultron)
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:06 PM
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VADER: No, Luke. I will self-destruct in five seconds.
LUKE: That's not true! That's Mission Impossible!
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bongo Bill View Post
Kermit is already a different character: Yoda's dad.

You think I'm joking. Yoda is the son of Kermit and Miss Piggy.
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:09 PM
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"in soviet russia, force uses you!"
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Old 12-06-2017, 12:12 PM
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Loki has always wanted to enjoy the Star Wars franchise, but wasn't sure what order to watch them in. If only someone could offer some opinions on that...
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  #9  
Old 12-06-2017, 12:15 PM
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Didn’t see the first Jedi for about a half-hour. Yoda. 3-footer. You know how you know that in the swamp, Chief? You can tell by lookin’ from the ear to the tail. What we didn’t know, was that our bomb mission was so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, Jedi come cruisin’ by, so we formed ourselves into tight groups. It was sorta like you see in the calendars, you know the infantry squares in the old calendars like the Battle of Naboo and the idea was that Yoda come to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin’ and hollerin’ and sometimes that Jedi he go away… but sometimes he wouldn’t go away.

Sometimes that Yoda looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a Yoda is he’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn’t even seem to be livin’… ’til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin’ and your hollerin’ those Yodas come in and… they rip you to pieces.

Last edited by Octopus Prime; 12-06-2017 at 12:31 PM.
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  #10  
Old 12-06-2017, 12:25 PM
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Loki, please enjoy this angry Amazon review that I wrote 12 years ago for Star Wars EU Novel Destiny's Way:

Quote:
Originally Posted by 12-years-ago JBear Amazon review, titled "Painfully Awful"
Awful. Just awful, despite a masterful hand-off from Stover, who gave us the best NJO book thus far in Traitor. I hope the remainder of the series isn't this bad. This book has literally dozens of continuity errors, both major and minor, and terminology that is inconsistant with the rest of the universe ("A section? What's a section? It has 4 ships? Oh, he must mean a flight.").

None of the characters act or speak correctly (most notably Jacen and Vergere, who spent a whole book getting very deep treatment only to become shallow and boring in this one, and act nothing like they should). Every character in this book takes 10 steps backward in their personal development. How do you ruin Admiral Pellaeon? He's one of my favorite extended universe characters, but now he's written to be a completely different person.

And how do you screw up Jacen's reunion with his family? It should have been moving and touching, and instead it was boring, drawn-out, and clinical.

I'm fairly certain that Walter Jon Williams hasn't read ANY of the other NJO books. I don't even think he's read any Star Wars books period. In fact, he may even have slept through the movies. This is easily the worst Star Wars novel I've ever read, and I've read roughly 60 of them. A book this pivotal should have been handed to Timothy Zahn or someone instead, or at least someone who LIKES Star Wars.

It just kills me that this is such an important book in the series. The only section that's worth the ink it's printed on is Vergere's flashback, and I almost think it may have been written by someone else. At least the next few novels can't possibly be any worse.
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  #11  
Old 12-06-2017, 12:37 PM
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Freedom is the right of all sentient beings, Loki.
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  #12  
Old 12-06-2017, 12:49 PM
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Alright then. Two of 'em. Both had my father in 'em. It's peculiar. I'm older now then he ever was by twenty years. So in a sense he's the younger man. Anyway, first one I don't remember too well but it was about meeting him in town somewhere, he's gonna give me some money. I think I lost it. The second one, it was like we was both back in older times and I was on tauntaunback goin' through the mountains of a night. Goin' through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the ground and he rode past me and kept on goin'. Never said nothin' goin' by. He just rode on past... and he had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down and when he rode past I seen he was carryin' fire in a horn the way people used to do and I could see the horn from the light inside of it. 'Bout the color of the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was goin' on ahead and he was fixin' to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold, and I knew that whenever I got there he would be there. And then I woke up...
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  #13  
Old 12-06-2017, 12:53 PM
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The way your dad looked at it, this lightsaber was your birthright. He'd be damned if any Stormtroopers gonna put their greasy hands on his boy's birthright, so he hid it, in the one place he knew he could hide something: his ass. Five long years, he wore this lightsaber up his ass. Then when he died of dysentery, he gave me the lightsaber. I hid this uncomfortable piece of metal up my ass for two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the lightsaber to you.
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  #14  
Old 12-06-2017, 01:03 PM
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"do or do not, whatever, I'm not the boss of you"
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  #15  
Old 12-06-2017, 01:53 PM
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Oh man I love the Star Wars. My favorite part is when Commander Shepard tells Captain Kirk to go frack himself.
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  #16  
Old 12-06-2017, 01:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Issun View Post
Oh man I love the Star Wars. My favorite part is when Commander Shepard tells Captain Kirk to go frack himself.
Right before her famous quote: "I'm Commander Samus Shepard, and this is my preferred cantina on Babylon Five."
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  #17  
Old 12-06-2017, 01:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBear View Post
Loki, please enjoy this angry Amazon review that I wrote 12 years ago for Star Wars EU Novel Destiny's Way:
OMG I agree with all of this. I have one of my Star Wars books at my house, with the other hundred or so languishing at my parents' house, and it's Traitor. So good.
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  #18  
Old 12-06-2017, 06:03 PM
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"If we supply this Darth Star with 88 jiggawatts of power, we can go back to the future!"
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  #19  
Old 12-06-2017, 06:09 PM
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"When this baby hits 88 parsecs, you're going to see some serious poodoo."
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  #20  
Old 12-06-2017, 06:16 PM
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"Beam me up, Obi-Wan."
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  #21  
Old 12-06-2017, 06:24 PM
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By Grabtharr's Hammer, what a savings.
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  #22  
Old 12-06-2017, 07:01 PM
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"Keep the credits, ya scruffy nerfherder."

"Han shot Greedo in the face!"
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  #23  
Old 12-06-2017, 07:16 PM
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"These are not the pants you're looking for"
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  #24  
Old 12-06-2017, 07:17 PM
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"Leave the blaster. Take the blue milk."
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  #25  
Old 12-06-2017, 09:06 PM
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Get off my Millennium Falcon!
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  #26  
Old 12-06-2017, 09:11 PM
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Droid wreckage in garbage chute this morning, blaster holes in burst stomach. This Death Star is afraid of me. I've seen its true face. The corridors are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the exhaust port finally scabs over all the dianogas will drown. The accumulated filth of all their hokey religions and ancient weapons will pile up about their waists and all the stormtroopers and rebels will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down, and whisper

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  #27  
Old 12-06-2017, 09:15 PM
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Want to find out if I'm really immortal?
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  #28  
Old 12-06-2017, 09:21 PM
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"I find your lack of froth disturbing."
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  #29  
Old 12-06-2017, 10:32 PM
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"Never go in against a force-user when a Death Star is on the line!"
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  #30  
Old 12-07-2017, 01:42 AM
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I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Star Destroyers on fire off the shoulder of Beautité. I watched blaster beams glitter in the dark near the Endor Gate. All these moments will be lost in the Force, like tears in rain. Time to die.
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